The Interpersonal Communication Book PDF

The Interpersonal Communication Book FIFTEENTH EDITION GLOBAL EDITION Joseph A. DeVito Hunter College of the City University of New York Harlo...

The Interpersonal Communication Book FIFTEENTH EDITION GLOBAL EDITION Joseph A. DeVito Hunter College of the City University of New York Harlow, England London New York Boston San Francisco Toronto Sydney Dubai Singapore Hong Kong Tokyo Seoul Taipei New Delhi Cape Town Sao Paulo Mexico City Madrid Amsterdam Munich Paris Milan Director, Portfolio Management: Karon Bowers Content Producer: Barbara Cappuccio Content Developer: Angela Kao Portfolio Manager Assistant: Dea Barbieri Product Marketer: Christopher Brown Field Marketer: Kelly Ross Content Producer Manager: Melissa Feimer Content Development Manager: Sharon Geary Managing Editor: Maggie Barbieri Editor, Global Edition: Punita Kaur Mann Assistant Editor, Global Edition: Jyotis Elizabeth Jacob Content Developer, Learning Tools: Amy Wetzel Designer: Kathryn Foot Digital Studio Course Producer: Amanda Smith Content Producer, Global Edition: Nitin Shankar Full-Service Project Manager: SPi Global Compositor: SPi Global Senior Manufacturing Controller, Global Edition: Kay Holman Cover Designer: Lumina Datamatics, Inc. Cover Image: Kubko / Shutterstock Acknowledgments of third party content appear on pages 412–414, which constitutes an extension of this copyright page. Pearson Education Limited KAO Two KAO Park Harlow CM17 9NA United Kingdom and Associated Companies throughout the world Visit us on the World Wide Web at: www.pearsonglobaleditions.com © Pearson Education Limited 2019 The rights of Joseph A. DeVito to be identified as the author of this work have been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. Authorized adaptation from the United States edition, entitled The Interpersonal Communication Book, 15th Edition, ISBN 978-0-13-462310-8 by Joseph A. DeVito, published by Pearson Education © 2019. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without either the prior written permission of the publisher or a license permitting restricted copying in the United Kingdom issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saf- fron House, 6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. All trademarks used herein are the property of their respective owners. The use of any trademark in this text does not vest in the author or publisher any trademark ownership rights in such trademarks, nor does the use of such trademarks imply any affiliation with or endorsement of this book by such owners. ISBN 10: 1-292-26184-6 ISBN 13: 978-1-292-26184-3 British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Typeset in Palatino LT Pro by SPi Global Printed and bound by Vivar in Malaysia Brief Contents PART   ONE Preliminaries to Interpersonal Communication 15 1 Foundations of Interpersonal Communication 15 2 Culture and Interpersonal Communication 43 3 Perception of the Self and Others 69 PART TWO Interpersonal Messages 101 4 Verbal Messages 101 5 Nonverbal Messages 130 6 Listening 171 7 Emotional Messages 195 8 Conversational Messages 219 PART THREE Interpersonal Relationships 250 9 Interpersonal Relationship Stages, Communication, and Theories 250 10 Interpersonal Relationship Types 281 11 Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management 317 12 Interpersonal Power and Influence 341 3 Contents Specialized Contents 8 2 Culture and Interpersonal Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication 43 Communication Book 9 Culture 44 PART   ONE Preliminaries To Interpersonal The Importance of Cultural Awareness 44 Communication  15 The Transmission of Culture 48 The Aim of a Cultural Perspective 48 1 Foundations of Interpersonal Cultural Differences 51 Communication 15 Individual and Collective Orientation 53 High- and Low-Context Cultures 54 The Benefits of Studying Interpersonal Power Distance 54 Communication 16 Masculine and Feminine Cultures 55 Personal Benefits 16 High-Ambiguity-Tolerant and Low-Ambiguity- Professional Benefits 16 Tolerant Cultures 56 The Elements of Interpersonal Communication 18 Long- and Short-Term Orientation 56 Source–Receiver 19 Indulgence and Restraint 57 Messages 21 Principles for Effective Intercultural Communication 59 Channel 23 Educate Yourself 60 Noise 24 Recognize Differences 61 Context 25 Confront Your Stereotypes 62 Effects 26 Reduce Your Ethnocentrism 63 Ethics 27 Recognize Culture Shock 64 The Principles of Interpersonal Communication 30 Adjust Your Communication 65 Interpersonal Communication Exists on Summary  67 a Continuum 30 Interpersonal Communication Involves Key Terms  67 Interdependent Individuals Interpersonal Communication Is Inherently 31 3 Perception of the Self and Others 69 Relational 31 The Self in Interpersonal Communication 70 Interpersonal Communication Is a Transactional Self-Concept 70 Process 32 Self-Awareness 72 Interpersonal Communication Serves a Variety of Self-Esteem 74 Purposes 33 Perception in Interpersonal Communication 78 Interpersonal Communication Is Ambiguous 35 Stage One: Stimulation 79 Interpersonal Relationships May Be Symmetrical Stage Two: Organization 79 or Complementary 36 Stage Three: Interpretation–Evaluation 80 Interpersonal Communication Refers to Content and Relationship 36 Stage Four: Memory 81 Interpersonal Communication Is a Series of Stage Five: Recall 81 Punctuated Events 38 Impression Formation 83 Interpersonal Communication Is Inevitable, Impression Formation Processes 83 Irreversible, and Unrepeatable 38 Increasing Accuracy in Impression Formation 88 Summary  41 Impression Management: Goals and Strategies 92 Key Terms  42 To Be Liked: Affinity-Seeking and Politeness Strategies 93 4  Contents 5 To Be Believed: Credibility Strategies 95 Silence 150 To Excuse Failure: Self-Handicapping Strategies 96 Spatial Messages and Territoriality 152 To Secure Help: Self-Deprecating Strategies 96 Artifactual Communication 155 To Hide Faults: Self-Monitoring Strategies 97 Olfactory Messages 158 To Be Followed: Influencing Strategies 97 Temporal Communication 159 To Confirm Self-Image: Image-Confirming Strategies 97 Nonverbal Communication Competence 165 Summary  99 Encoding Skills 166 Key Terms  100 Decoding Skills 167 Summary  169 PART TWO Interpersonal Messages 101 Key Terms  170 4 Verbal Messages 101 6 Listening 171 Principles of Verbal Messages 102 The Process and Skills of Listening 172 Messages Are Packaged 102 Stage One: Receiving 173 Message Meanings Are in People 102 Stage Two: Understanding 174 Meanings Are Denotative and Connotative 103 Stage Three: Remembering 175 Messages Vary in Abstraction 104 Stage Four: Evaluating 176 Messages Vary in Politeness 105 Stage Five: Responding 177 Messages Can Be Onymous or Anonymous 107 Listening Barriers 179 Messages Can Deceive 108 Physical and Mental Distractions 179 Messages Vary in Assertiveness 110 Biases and Prejudices 179 Confirmation and Disconfirmation 114 Racist, Heterosexist, Ageist, and Sexist Listening 179 Racism 115 Lack of Appropriate Focus 180 Ageism 116 Premature Judgment 180 Heterosexism 117 Hearing Impairment 181 Sexism 118 Styles of Effective Listening 182 Cultural Identifiers 119 Empathic Listening 183 Guidelines for Using Verbal Messages Effectively 122 Polite Listening 184 Extensionalize: Avoid Intensional Orientation 122 Critical Listening 186 See the Individual: Avoid Allness 123 Active Listening 187 Distinguish between Facts and Inferences: Culture, Gender, and Listening 190 Avoid Fact–Inference Confusion 123 Culture and Listening 191 Discriminate Among: Avoid Indiscrimination 125 Gender and Listening 192 Talk about the Middle: Avoid Polarization 125 Summary  194 Update Messages: Avoid Static Evaluation 126 Key Terms  194 Summary  128 Key Terms  129 7 Emotional Messages 195 5 Nonverbal Messages 130 Principles of Emotions and Emotional Messages Emotions Occur in Stages 197 198 Principles of Nonverbal Communication 131 Emotions May Be Primary or Blended 199 Nonverbal Messages Interact with Verbal Messages 132 Emotions Involve Both Body and Mind 200 Nonverbal Messages Help Manage Impressions 133 Emotional Expression Uses Multiple Channels 201 Nonverbal Messages Help Form Relationships 133 Emotional Expression Is Governed by Display Nonverbal Messages Structure Conversation 134 Rules 202 Nonverbal Messages Can Influence and Deceive 135 Emotions Can Be Used Strategically 203 Nonverbal Messages Are Crucial for Emotions Have Consequences 204 Expressing Emotions 136 Emotions May Be Adaptive and Maladaptive 204 Channels of Nonverbal Communication 137 Emotions Are Contagious 205 Body Messages 137 Obstacles to Communicating Emotions 207 Facial Communication 140 Personality Factors 207 Eye Communication 143 Inadequate Interpersonal Skills 207 Touch Communication 146 Societal and Cultural Customs 208 Paralanguage 148 Fear 209 6 Contents Emotional Competence 210 Politeness Theory 276 Emotional Expression 210 Summary  279 Emotional Responding 215 Key Terms  280 Summary  218 Key Terms  218 10 Interpersonal Relationship Types 281 8 Conversational Messages 219 Friendship Relationships Definition and Characteristics 283 283 Principles of Conversation 220 Friendship Types 284 The Principle of Process 220 Friendship Needs 286 The Principle of Cooperation 222 Friendship and Communication 286 The Principle of Politeness 224 Friendship, Culture, and Gender 288 The Principle of Dialogue 225 Love Relationships 290 The Principle of Turn Taking 226 Love Types 291 Conversational Disclosure 229 Love and Communication 293 Revealing Yourself 229 Love, Culture, and Gender 294 Influences on Self-Disclosure 230 Family Relationships 295 Rewards and Dangers of Self-Disclosure 231 Characteristics of Families 296 Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 233 Couple Types 297 Everyday Conversations 236 Family Types 298 Making Small Talk 237 Family and Communication 299 Making Introductions 238 Families, Culture, and Gender 301 Making Excuses 240 Workplace Relationships 303 Apologizing 241 Workplace Communication 303 Asking for a Favor 243 Networking Relationships 305 Complimenting 245 Mentoring Relationships 306 Advising 246 Romantic Relationships at Work 307 Summary  249 The Dark Side of Interpersonal Relationships 310 Key Terms  249 Jealousy 310 Violence 311 PART THREE Interpersonal Summary  315 Relationships  250 Key Terms  316 9 Interpersonal Relationship Stages, 11 Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Communication, and Theories 250 Management 317 Relationship Stages 252 Preliminaries to Interpersonal Conflict 318 Contact 254 Definition of Interpersonal Conflict 318 Involvement 254 Myths about Interpersonal Conflict 319 Intimacy 255 Interpersonal Conflict Issues 319 Deterioration 255 Principles of Interpersonal Conflict 322 Repair 256 Conflict Is Inevitable 322 Dissolution 257 Conflict Can Have Negative and Positive Movement among the Stages 257 Effects 322 Relationship Communication 260 Conflict Is Influenced by Culture and Gender 323 Communicating in Developing and Maintaining Conflict Styles Have Consequences 325 Relationships 260 Conflict Management Is a Multistep Process 327 Communicating in Deteriorating and Dissolving Conflict Management Strategies 331 Relationships 262 Win–Lose and Win–Win Strategies 333 Communicating in Relationship Repair 265 Avoidance and Active Fighting Strategies 334 Relationship Theories 269 Force and Talk Strategies 335 Attraction Theory 269 Face-Attacking and Face-Enhancing Strategies 336 Relationship Rules Theory 272 Verbal Aggressiveness and Argumentativeness Relationship Dialectics Theory 274 Strategies 337 Social Exchange Theory 275 Summary  340 Equity Theory 276 Key Terms  340  Contents 7 12 Interpersonal Power and Influence 341 Sexual Harassment Bullying 356 358 Principles of Power and Influence 342 Power Plays 360 Some People Are More Powerful Than Others 342 Prosocial Communication 362 Power Can Be Shared 343 The Nature of Prosocial Communication 362 Power Can Be Increased or Decreased 344 Factors Influencing Prosocial Communication 362 Power Follows the Principle of Less Interest 344 Examples of Prosocial Communication 363 Power Generates Privilege 345 Effects of Prosocial Communication 364 Power Is Influenced by Culture 345 Summary  365 Relationship, Person, and Message Power 347 Key Terms  366 Power in the Relationship 347 Power in the Person 349 Glossary 367 Power in the Message 351 References 378 Resisting Power and Influence 354 Credits 412 Misuses of Power 356 Index 415 Specialized Contents Understanding Interpersonal Skills Long-Term Versus Short-Term Orientation (Chapter 5) 162 Mindfulness: A State of Mental Awareness (Chapter 1) 29 Politeness (Chapter 6) 186 Cultural Sensitivity: Responsiveness to Cultural Indulgent and Restraint Orientation (Chapter 7) 201 Variation (Chapter 2) 50 Apologies (Chapter 8) 243 Other-Orientation: A Focus on the Other Person Relationship Length (Chapter 9) 262 and that Person’s Perspective (Chapter 3) 82 Masculine and Feminine Orientation (Chapter 10) 289 Metacommunication: The Ability to Talk about Success (Chapter 11) 326 Your Talk (Chapter 4) 113 High- and Low-Power Distance (Chapter 12) 346 Immediacy: Interpersonal Closeness and Togetherness (Chapter 5) 165 Integrated Experiences Openness: Willingness to Disclose and Interpersonal Communication: Easy and be Honest (Chapter 6) 191 Difficult (Chapter 1) 17 Flexibility: The Ability to Change Communication Beliefs about Interpersonal Communication Patterns to Suit the Situation (Chapter 7) 209 (Chapter 1) 18 Expressiveness: Communication of Genuine Ethical Beliefs (Chapter 1) 27 Involvement (Chapter 8) 236 Relationship Uncertainty (Chapter 1) 35 Empathy: Feeling What Another Person Feels Cultural Orientation (Chapter 2) 51 From That Person’s Point of View (Chapter 9) 268 Self-Esteem (Chapter 3) 75 Supportiveness: Supportive Messages Express Impression Formation (Chapter 3) 83 Understanding Rather Than Evaluation (Chapter 10) 302 Personality Theory (Chapter 3) 84 Equality: An Attitude and a Pattern of Behavior Consistency (Chapter 3) 86 in Which Each Person Is Treated as Interpersonally Equal (Chapter 11) 330 Assertiveness (Chapter 4) 111 Interaction Management: Your Ability to Carry Distinguishing Facts from Inferences (Chapter 4) 124 on an Interpersonal Interaction Smoothly and Polarization (Chapter 4) 126 Effectively (Chapter 12) 355 Estimating Heights (Chapter 5) 140 Facial Management Techniques (Chapter 5) 142 Ethics in Interpersonal Communication Time Orientation (Chapter 5) 159 Ethical Standards (Chapter 1) 28 Styles of Listening (Chapter 6) 182 Culture and Ethics (Chapter 2) 50 Listening with Empathy (Chapter 6) 184 The Ethics of Impression Management (Chapter 3) 96 Attitudes about Expressing Feelings (Chapter 7) 196 Lying (Chapter 4) 109 Effective and Ineffective Emotional Expression Interpersonal Silence (Chapter 5) 150 (Chapter 7) 197 Ethical Listening (Chapter 6) 182 Conversational Politeness (Chapter 8) 224 Motivational Appeals (Chapter 7) 205 Self Disclosure (Chapter 8) 230 The Ethics of Gossip (Chapter 8) 235 Small-Talk Behavior (Chapter 8) 236 Your Obligation to Reveal Yourself (Chapter 9) 259 Relationship Advantages and Disadvantages Relationship Ethics (Chapter 10) 309 (Chapter 9) 251 Ethical Fighting (Chapter 11) 338 Attractiveness Preferences (Chapter 9) 269 The Ethics of Compliance-Gaining Strategies Love Style (Chapter 10) 290 (Chapter 12) 354 Love Styles and Personality (Chapter 10) 293 The Cultural Map Involvement in Relationship Violence (Chapter 10) 312 The Cultural Map (Chapter 1) 26 Myths about Interpersonal Conflict (Chapter 11) 319 Internet Access (Chapter 2) 47 Interpersonal Conflict Strategies (Chapter 11) 332 Ambiguity Tolerance (Chapter 3) 91 Interpersonal Power (Chapter 12) 347 High- and Low-Context Cultures (Chapter 4) 106 Credibility (Chapter 12) 350 8 Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication Book FIFTEENTH EDITION GLOBAL EDITION I t’s a rare privilege for an author to present the fifteenth edition of a book. With each revision, I’ve been able to update and fine tune the presentation of interper- sonal communication so that it is current—accurately reflecting what we currently know about the subject—and as clear, interesting, involving, and relevant to today’s college students as it can be. Like its predecessors, this fifteenth edition provides in-depth coverage of inter- personal communication, blending theory and research on the one hand, and practical skills on the other. The book’s philosophical foundation continues to be the concept of choice. Choice is central to interpersonal communication, as it is to life in general. As speaker and listener, you’re regularly confronted with choice points at every stage of the communication process: What do you say? When do you say it? How do you say it? Through what channel should you say it? And so on. In large part, the choices you make will determine the effectiveness of your messages and your relationships. The role of this text, then, is threefold: 1. to identify and explain the choices you have available to you in a vast array of interpersonal situations; 2. to explain the theory and research evidence that bears on these choices—enabling you to identify your available choices and to select more reasoned, reasonable, and effective communication choices; 3. to provide you with the skills needed to communicate your choices effectively. Updated Coverage Here, in brief, are descriptions of each of the 12 chapters along with examples of what’s new in this fifteenth edition. Chapter 1, Foundations of Interpersonal Communication, covers the elements and principles of interpersonal communication. New material in this chapter includes a reorganization of the chapter into three parts (“The Nature of Interper- sonal Communication” and “Principles of Interpersonal Communication” are now combined under “Principles”), and inclusion of a new section on “Effects” in the model of interpersonal communication. Chapter 2, Culture and Interpersonal Communication, covers the nature of culture, and the major cultural differences that impact interpersonal communication, with some suggestions on how to make intercultural communication more effective. New material in this chapter includes additional figures and a new Cultural Map about internet access. The concept of ethnic identity has been clarified and a new nutshell table summarizes important concepts. Chapter 3, Perception of the Self and Others, covers the essential concepts of the self, the stages of perception, and impression formation and management. The 9 10 Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication Book Cultural Map in this chapter deals with ambiguity tolerance. New material in this chapter includes a brief section on improving accuracy in perception, and two new figures: 3.5 The Stages of Perception and 3.6 Impression Management Goals. Chapter 4, Verbal Messages, covers the principles of verbal messages, confirmation and disconfirmation, and verbal message effectiveness. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with high- and low-context cultures. New material in this chapter includes a revised organization (the chapter is now in three parts instead of two), two integrated exercises created out of text from the fourteenth edition, a slight expansion of coverage on cultural identifiers, and two new figures: 4.1 The Abstrac- tion Ladder and 4.2 Effective Verbal Messaging. Chapter 5, Nonverbal Messages, covers the principles of nonverbal communica- tion, the ten major channels or codes, and nonverbal competence in encoding and decoding. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with time orientation. New mate- rial in this chapter includes an expansion of the benefits from studying nonverbal communication, more coverage of nonverbal communication competence (sum- marized by a new nutshell table), and a new figure 5.1 The Power of Nonverbal Messages. Chapter 6, Listening, covers the stages and styles of listening, as well as cultural and gender differences. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with politeness. New material in this chapter includes a discussion on critical listening, a revision and reconceptualization of the styles of listening, the inclusion of hearing impairment as a potential barrier to listening, a new integrated exercise on empathy, and an enhanced section on politeness and the mobile phone. Chapter 7, Emotional Messages, covers the principles of emotional communica- tion, some obstacles to communicating emotions, and emotional competence. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with indulgent and restraint orientation. New material in this chapter includes an integrated exercise on expressing emotions effectively, a discussion on “emotional labor” (with display rules), and the inclusion of emotional happiness. Chapter 8, Conversational Messages, covers the principles of conversation, self- disclosure, and some everyday conversational encounters. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with apologies. New material in this chapter includes a discussion on how to ask for a favor, along with three new figures that preview some of the major concepts in this chapter. In addition, the discussion of the conversation process has been reduced in length. Chapter 9, Interpersonal Relationship Stages, Communication, and Theories, covers the stages of relationships, the communication that takes place at these different stages, and some of the major theories that explain how relationships grow and deteriorate. New material in this chapter includes a reorganization that places “Relationship Communication” immediately after “Relationship Stages,” and ­coverage of social penetration with the discussion on intimacy, rather than with the theories. Chapter 10, Interpersonal Relationship Types, covers friendship, love, family, and workplace relationships; and two of their dark sides: jealousy and violence. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with masculine and feminine orientation. New material in this chapter includes nutshell tables and a tightening and updating of the narrative. Chapter 11, Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management, covers the nature and principles of conflict and the strategies of effective conflict management. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with masculine and feminine orientation. The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with success. New material in this chapter includes a restructuring of the principles of conflict (the principles of content and  Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication Book 11 relationship conflict and conflict can occur in all forms are now covered under conflict issues), and a refocused and rewritten section on conflict management is presented as a multistep process. Chapter 12, Interpersonal Power and Influence, covers the principles of power and influence; power in the relationship, person, and message; and the misuses of power (sexual harassment, bullying, and power plays). The Cultural Map in this chapter deals with high- and low-power distance. New material in this chapter includes a major section on prosocial communication, which now concludes this chapter and the book. Features This text is a complete learning package that will provide students with the opportu- nity to learn about the theories and research in interpersonal communication, and to acquire and practice the skills necessary for effective interpersonal interaction. Learning Objectives Learning objectives are presented in the chapter opener, repeated in the text with each major head, and iterated again in the summary. This feature helps focus attention on the key concepts and principles discussed, and how this learning can be demonstrated. Preview Figures and Nutshell Summary Tables Throughout the text, visuals preview the content of the sections, and Nutshell sum- mary tables at the end of the sections help students review the content and fix it more firmly in memory. Interpersonal Choice Points and ViewPoints Interpersonal Choice Points—brief scenarios that require you make an interpersonal communication choice—encourage students to apply the material in the chapter to varied specific interactions. They are designed to encourage the application of the re- search and theory discussed in the text to real-life situations. These appear throughout the text in the margins. ViewPoints appear as captions to all the interior photos and ask you to consider a wide variety of issues in interpersonal communication. These are designed to en- courage students to explore significant communication issues discussed in the chapter from a more personal point of view. Balance of Theory/Research and Skills While a great deal of new research is integrated throughout the book, much of it is from the past five years, this text recognizes the practical importance of skill devel- opment and so gives considerable attention to mastering interpersonal skills. But it bases these skills on theory and research, which are discussed throughout the text. The boxes on Understanding Interpersonal Theory & Research from the previous edi- tion have been integrated into the text narrative to give them a clearer context and the chapters greater continuity. Like theory and research, interpersonal skills are discussed throughout this text. In addition, each chapter contains an Understanding Interpersonal Skills box. These boxes are designed to highlight some of the most important skills of interpersonal communication: Mindfulness, Cultural Sensitivity, Other-Orientation, Openness, Metacommunication, Flexibility, Expressiveness, Empathy, Supportiveness, Equality, and Interaction Management. 12 Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication Book Culture and Interpersonal Communication As our knowledge of culture and its relevance to interpersonal communication grows, so must culture’s presence in an interpersonal communication textbook and course. The text stresses the importance of culture to all aspects of interpersonal communication. An entire chapter devoted to culture (Chapter 2, Culture and Interpersonal Communication) is presented as one of the foundation concepts for understanding interpersonal communication. This chapter covers the relationship of culture and in- terpersonal communication, the ways in which cultures differ, and the strategies to make intercultural communication more effective. In addition to this separate chapter, here are some of the more important discussions that appear throughout the text: the cultural dimension of context; and culture in complementary and symmetrical relationships, in the principle of adjustment, and in ethical questions (Chapter 1) the role of culture in the development of self-concept, accurate perception, implicit personality theory, the self-serving bias, and uncertainty (Chapter 3) listening, culture, and gender (Chapter 4) cultural and gender differences in politeness, directness, and assertiveness; and cultural identifiers, sexism, heterosexism, racism, and ageism in language and in listening (Chapter 5) culture and gesture, facial expression, eye communication, color, touch, paralan- guage, silence, and time (Chapter 6) the influences of culture on emotions, and cultural customs as an obstacle to the communication of emotions (Chapter 7) conversational maxims, culture, and gender; culture and expressiveness; and the influence of culture on self-disclosure (Chapter 8) the influences of culture on interpersonal relationships and the stages of relation- ships (Chapter 9) cultural differences in friendship and loving, and culture and the family (Chapter 10) cultural influences on conflict and conflict management (Chapter 11) the cultural dimension of power (Chapter 12) The Cultural Map feature returns to the basic cultural differences discussed in Chapter 2 and connects these concepts with the content of the various chapters. People with disabilities may also be viewed from a cultural perspective, and in this edition, three special tables offer suggestions for more effective communication between people with and people without disabilities. These tables provide tips for communication between people with and without visual impairments (­ Table 5.4 in Chapter 5); with and without hearing difficulties (Table 6.3 in Chapter 6); and between people with and without speech and language disorders (Table 8.1 in C ­ hapter 8). Politeness Politeness in interpersonal communication is stressed throughout this text as one of the major features of effective interaction. Some of the major discussions include: politeness strategies for increasing attractiveness (Chapter 3) message politeness (Chapter 4) polite listening (Chapter 6) conversational politeness (Chapter 8) politeness theory of relationships (Chapter 9) politeness in conflict management (Chapter 11)  Welcome to The Interpersonal Communication Book 13 Social Media The ways and means of social media are integrated throughout the text. For exam- ple, the principle of anonymity in interpersonal communication is included as a basic principle because of its increasing importance due to social media. The ubiquity of the cell phone and texting has changed interpersonal communication forever and is recognized throughout the text. Likewise, dating, keeping in touch with family and friends, making friends, and engaging in conflict—and much more—is viewed in a world dominated by (not simply a world that includes) social media. In-Text Application This text includes a variety of features that encourage interaction and self-exploration. New to this edition, integrated exercises appear throughout the text in every chapter. These exercises are part of the text narrative but require you to interact with and respond to the text material. Some of these are brand new and some of them have been revised and reconfigured from material in the previous edition. Interpersonal Choice Points that appear in the margins encourage you to apply the principles and skills of the text to specific interpersonal situations. ViewPoints captions encourage you to explore the implications of a variety of com- munication theories and research findings. Understanding Interpersonal Skills boxes ask for personal involvement that enables you to actively engage with these important skills. Ethics in Interpersonal Communication boxes present ethical issues and ask what you would do in each of the presented scenarios. End of Chapter Each chapter has a two-part ending: (1) Summary, a numbered propositional sum- mary of the major concepts that are discussed in the chapter, organized by major topic headings. Each topic heading also contains the learning objective. (2) Key Terms, a list of key terms that are used in the chapter (and included in the “Glossary of Interper- sonal Communication Concepts” at the end of the text). Instructor and Student Resources Key instructor resources include an Instructor’s Manual (ISBN 1-292-26185-4), TestBank, (ISBN 1-292-26189-7), and PowerPoint Presentation Package (ISBN 1-292-26188-9). These supplements are available on the catalog page for this text on www.pearson- globaleditions.com/DeVito (instructor login required). For a complete list of the instructor and student resources available with the text, please visit www.pearson­ globaleditions.com/DeVito.  Acknowledgments I wish to express my appreciation to the many specialists who carefully reviewed this text. Your comments resulted in a large number of changes; I’m extremely grateful. Thank you: Cynthia Langham, University of Detroit Mercy Gretchen Arthur, Lansing Community College Karl Babij, DeSales University Martin Mehl, California Poly State University SLO Ellie Leonhardt, Rogue Community College Rachel Reznik, Elmhurst College Stacie Williams, Portland Community College Diane Ferrero-Paluzzi, Iona College In addition, I wish to express my appreciation to the people at Pearson who con- tributed so heavily to this text, especially Karon Bowers, Portfolio Manager of Com- munication, English, and Languages; Maggie Barbieri, Managing Editor; Angela Kao, Development Editor; Dea Barbieri, Editorial Assistant; Kelly Ross, Field Mar- keter; Christopher Brown, Product Marketer; Barbara Cappuccio, Content Producer; Annemarie Franklin and Raja Natesan, SPi Editorial Project Managers; and Beth Bren- zel, Photo Researcher at SPi. I thank them all for making me—and this book—look so good. Joseph A. DeVito Global Edition Acknowledgments This Global Edition is the result of the individuals who have contributed their insights, reviews, and suggestions to this project. We are deeply grateful for these collaborations and reviews. Contributor: Vandana Kakar, Xavier Institute of Communications and St. Pauls Institute of ­Communication Education Reviewers: Medha Bhattacharyya, Bengal Institute of Technology Sneha Bhattacharjee Stefanie Stadler, Nanyang Technological University 14 PART ONE PRELIMINARIES TO INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CHAPTER ONE Foundations of Interpersonal Communication Effective and satisfying interpersonal communication rests on a solid foundation of knowledge and skills. Resolve to build a really strong foundation for your own communication. Chapter Topics Learning Objectives The Benefits of Studying Interpersonal Communication 1.1 Identify the personal and professional benefits of studying interpersonal communication. The Elements of Interpersonal Communication 1.2 Define interpersonal communication and its essential elements including source–receiver, messages, channels, noise, context, effects, and ethics. The Principles of Interpersonal Communication 1.3 Paraphrase the principles of interpersonal communication. 15 16 Chapter 1 T his chapter introduces the study of interpersonal communication and explains why interpersonal communication is so important, examines the essential ele- ments of this unique form of communication, and describes its major principles. The Benefits of Studying Interpersonal Communication 1.1 Identify the personal and professional benefits of studying interpersonal communication. Fair questions to ask at the beginning of this text and this course are “What will I get out of this?” and “Why should I study interpersonal communication?” One very clear answer is given by the importance of interpersonal communication: it’s a major part of human existence that every educated person needs to understand. Much as you need to understand history, science, geography, and mathematics, for example, you need to understand how people interact (how people communicate interpersonally) and how people form relationships—both face-to-face and online. On a more practical level, you’ll learn the skills that will yield both personal and professional benefits. Personal Benefits Your personal success and happiness depend largely on your effectiveness as an inter- personal communicator. Close friendships and romantic relationships are developed, maintained, and sometimes destroyed largely through your interpersonal interactions. Likewise, the success of your family relationships depends heavily on the interpersonal communication among members. For example, in a survey of 1,001 people over 18 years of age, 53 percent felt that a lack of effective communication was the major cause of marriage failure—significantly greater than money (38 percent) and in-law interference (14 percent) (How Americans Communicate, 1999). Likewise, your success in interacting with neighbors, acquaintances, and people you meet every day depends on your ability to engage in satisfying conversation—­ conversation that’s comfortable and enjoyable. Professional Benefits The ability to communicate interpersonally is widely recognized as crucial to professional success (Morreale & Pearson, 2008; Satell, 2015; Morreale, Valenzano, & Bauer, 2016). From the initial interview at a college job fair to interning, to participating in and then leading meetings, your skills at interpersonal communication will largely determine your success. Employers want graduates who can communicate orally and in writing (Berrett, 2013). This ability is even considered more important than job-specific skills, which employers feel could be learned on the job. For example, one study found that among the 23 attributes ranked as “very important” in hiring decisions, “communication and interpersonal skills,” noted by 89 percent of the recruiters, was at the top of the list. This was a far higher percentage of recruiters than the percentage who noted “con- tent of the core curriculum” (34 percent) or “overall value for the money invested in the recruiting effort” (33 percent) (Alsop, 2004). Interpersonal skills offer an important advantage for persons in finance (Messmer, 1999), play a significant role in preventing workplace violence (Parker, 2004), reduce medical mishaps and improve doctor–patient communication (Smith, 2004; Sutcliffe, Lewton, & Rosenthal, 2004), are one of six areas that define the professional competence of physicians and trainees (Epstein & Hundert, 2002), and contribute greatly to maintaining diversity in the workplace, team build- ing, and employee morale (Johnson, 2017). In a survey of employers who were asked what colleges should place more emphasis on, 89 percent identified “the ability to effectively communicate orally and in writing” as the highest of any skill listed (Hart  Foundations of Interpersonal Communication 17 Research Associates, 2010). And in that same survey, the largest number of employers (84 percent), when asked what would prepare college students for success, identified “communication skills.” In still another survey of women and leadership, the ability to communicate and to build relationships—the essential of interpersonal communica- tion—were noted among the competencies exemplified by top leaders (­ Goleman, 2013b). The importance of interpersonal communication skills extends over the entire spectrum of professions. Clearly, interpersonal skills are vital to both personal and professional success. Understanding the theory and research in interpersonal communication and master- ing its skills go hand in hand (Greene & Burleson, 2003). The more you know about interpersonal communication, the more insight and knowledge you’ll gain about what works and what doesn’t work. The more skills you have within your arsenal of com- munication strategies, the greater your choices for communicating in any situation. Put differently, the greater your knowledge and the greater the number of communication choices at your disposal, the greater the likelihood that you’ll be successful in achiev- ing your interpersonal goals. You might look at this text and this course as aiming to enlarge your interpersonal communication choices and give you a greater number of options for communicating effectively than you had before this exposure to the study of interpersonal communication. Because of the importance of choice—after all, your interpersonal messages and relationships are the result of the choices you make in any given situation—you’ll find boxes labelled Interpersonal Choice Point throughout the text. Choice points are sim- ply moments when you need to make a choice, a decision, about your interpersonal ­communication—for example, about whom you communicate with, what you say, what you don’t say, how you phrase what you want to say, the photos you want to post and those you don’t, and so on. Some of the questions about choices will prove easy to answer while others will prove to be more difficult. This variation in difficulty mirrors real-life interpersonal communication; getting your meanings and feelings across is easy sometimes and very difficult at others. Let’s look first at the easy-difficult dimension and then at a choice point. Consider the following situations and rate them on a continuum from easy to difficult (use 1 for extremely easy and 5 for extremely difficult). ____ 1. Impressing a recruiter at a job fair. ____ 2. Asking a work supervisor to be friends on Facebook. ____ 3. Breaking up a two-year romantic relationship because you’ve fallen out of love with your partner. ____ 4. Responding to a compliment about the way you dress. ____ 5. Reconnecting with a long-lost friend by phone. ____ 6. Voicing an opinion about religion in class that is contrary to the opinions of all others in the class. ____ 7. Crying at a movie you’re attending with three or four same-sex friends. ____ 8. Asking a relative to lie for you so you can get out of a family gathering. ____ 9. Introducing yourself to a group of people who are culturally very different from you. ____ 10. Asking an instructor for an extension on your term paper. ____ 11. Making small talk with someone you don’t know in an elevator. ____ 12. Meeting someone face-to-face with whom you’ve interacted romantically online. If you have the opportunity to compare your continuum with those of others, you’ll probably find both similarities and differences. Reflecting on the easy-to-difficult interper- sonal interactions will help you identify the skills you’d want to acquire or enhance as you make your varied interpersonal choices. Take a look at the first Interpersonal Choice Point which also explains the feature’s purpose and format. 18 Chapter 1 The Elements of Interpersonal INTERPERSONAL CHOICE POINT Communicating an Image Communication 1.2 Define interpersonal communication and its essential The Interpersonal Choice Point feature is designed elements including source–receiver, messages, channels, noise, to help you apply the text material to real-life situa- context, effects, and ethics. tions by first considering your available choices and Although this entire text is, in a sense, a definition of interper- then making a communication decision. For each sonal communication, a working definition is useful at the start. choice point, try to identify, as specifically as pos- sible, the advantages and disadvantages of your avail- Interpersonal communication is the verbal and nonverbal interaction able choices. Of all your choices, ask yourself which between two (or sometimes more than two) interdependent people. This response is likely to work best for you. relatively simple definition implies a variety of elements which You’re taking a course in interpersonal commu- we discuss in this section. But, first, let’s look at some of the myths nication at a new college and you want to be liked by about interpersonal communication that can get in the way of a your fellow students. What might you do to appear meaningful understanding and mastery of this area. likeable and be accepted as an approachable per- son? What would you be sure to avoid doing? Examine your beliefs about interpersonal communication by respond- a. Smile and make eye contact. ing to the following questions with T if you believe the statement is usually true or F if you believe the statement is usually false. b. Compliment others frequently even for no reason. ____ 1. Good communicators are born, not made. c. Dress a level above the average student. ____ 2. The more you communicate, the better you will be at it. d. Speak in class—regularly asking and answering ____ 3. In your interpersonal communication, a good guide to questions. follow is to be as open, empathic, and supportive as you e. Other can be. ____ 4. When communicating with people from other cultures, it’s best to ignore the differ­ences and treat the other person just as you’d treat members of your own culture. ____ 5. Fear of meeting new people is detrimental and must be eliminated. ____ 6. When there is conflict, your relationship is in trouble. As you probably figured out, all six statements are generally false. As you read this text, you’ll discover not only why these beliefs are false but also the trouble you can get into when you assume they’re true. For now, and in brief, here are some of the reasons each of the statements is generally false: 1. Effective communication is a learned skill; although some people are born brighter or more extroverted, everyone can improve their abilities and become more effective communicators. 2. It’s not the amount of communication people engage in but the quality that matters; if you practice bad habits, you’re more likely to grow less effective than more effective, so it’s important to learn and follow the principles of effectiveness (Greene, 2003; Greene & Burleson, 2003). 3. Each interpersonal situation is unique, and therefore the type of communication appro- priate in one situation may not be appropriate in another. 4. This assumption will probably get you into considerable trouble because people from different cultures often attribute different meanings to a message; members of differ- ent cultures also follow different rules for what is and is not appropriate in interpersonal communication. 5. Many people are nervous meeting new people, especially if these are people in author- ity; managing, not eliminating, the fear will enable you to become effective regardless of your current level of fear. 6. All meaningful relationships experience conflict; relationships are not in trouble when there is conflict, though dealing with conflict ineffectively can often damage the relationship.  Foundations of Interpersonal Communication 19 The model presented in Figure 1.1 is designed to reflect the circular nature of interpersonal com- munication; both persons send messages simul- taneously rather than in a linear sequence, where communication goes from Person 1 to Person 2 to Person 1 to Person 2 and on and on. Each of the concepts identified in the model and discussed here may be thought of as a uni- versal of interpersonal communication in that it is present in all interpersonal interactions: (1) source–receiver (including competence, encoding–­decoding, and code-switching), (2) messages (and the metamessages of feedback and feedforward), (3) channels, (4) noise, (5) contexts, (6) effects, and (7) ethics (though not indicated in the diagram), is an overriding consideration in all interpersonal communication. VIEWPOINTS Interpersonal Metaphors Source–Receiver Metaphors—figures of speech in which two unlike things Interpersonal communication involves at least two people. Each individual performs are compared—are useful for source functions (formulates and sends messages) and also performs receiver functions providing different perspectives on (perceives and comprehends messages). The term source–receiver emphasizes that both interpersonal communication; they help you to look at interpersonal communication from different Figure 1.1 A Model of Interpersonal Communication perspectives and help highlight After you read the section on the elements of interpersonal communication, you may wish to construct different aspects of the interpersonal your own model of the process. In constructing this model, be careful that you don’t fall into the trap of process. How would you explain visualizing interpersonal communication as a linear or simple left-to-right, static process. Remember interpersonal communication in terms that all elements are interrelated and interdependent. After completing your model, consider, for of metaphors such as a seesaw, a ball example: (1) Could your model also serve as a model of intrapersonal communication (communication game, a television sitcom, a recliner, the weather, an opera, a good book, or a tug with oneself)? Is the model applicable to both face-to-face and online communication? (2) What of war? elements or concepts other than those noted here might be added to the model? Messages Context Feedback Channels [Feedforward] Source/ Source/ Receiver Receiver Effects Noise Effects Encoding/ Encoding/ Decoding Decoding [Feedforward] Channels Feedback Messages 20 Chapter 1 functions are performed by each individual in interpersonal communication. This, of course, does not mean that people serve these functions equally. As you’ve no doubt witnessed, some people are (primarily) talkers and some people are (primarily) listen- ers. And some people talk largely about themselves and others participate more in the give and take of communication. In an interesting analysis of Twitter messages, two major types of users were identified (Bersin, 2013; Dean, 2010a): Informers were those who shared information and also replied to others; these made up about 20 percent. Meformers were those who mainly gave out information about themselves; these made up about 80 percent. Who you are, what you know, what you believe, what you value, what you want, what you have been told, and what your attitudes are all influence what you say, how you say it, what messages you receive, and how you receive them. Likewise, the person you’re speaking to and the knowledge that you think that person has greatly influences your interpersonal messages (Lau, Chiu, & Hong, 2001). Each person is unique; each person’s communications are unique. To complicate matters just a bit, we need to recognize that although interpersonal communication may take place between two close friends, for example, there is gener- ally what might be called a remote audience. For example, you update your status on ­Facebook for your friends (your intended audience) to see. This is your intended audience and the audience to whom you’re directing your message. But, it’s likely (even probable) that your prospective employers will also see this as will others who may receive it from a member of your intended audience. These are your remote audiences. The important practical implication is to be aware of both your audiences and know that the dividing line between your intended and your remote audiences is getting thinner every day. Interpersonal Competence Your ability to communicate effectively (as source and receiver) is your interpersonal competence (Spitzberg & Cupach, 1989; Wilson & Sabee, 2003). Your competence includes, for example, the knowledge that, in certain contexts and with certain listeners, one topic is appropriate and another isn’t. Your knowledge about the rules of nonverbal behavior—for example, the appropriateness of touching, vocal volume, and physical closeness—is also part of your competence. In short, inter- personal competence includes knowing how to adjust your communication according to the context of the interaction, the person with whom you’re interacting, and a host of other factors discussed throughout this text. You learn communication competence much as you learn to eat with a knife and fork— by observing others, by explicit instruction, and by trial and error. Some individuals learn better than others, though, and these are generally the people with whom you find it inter- esting and comfortable to talk. They seem to know what to say and how and when to say it. A positive relationship exists between interpersonal competence on the one hand and success in college and job satisfaction on the other (Rubin & Graham, 1988; Wertz, Sorenson, & Heeren, 1988). So much of college and professional life depends on inter- personal competence—meeting and interacting with other students, teachers, or col- leagues; asking and answering questions; presenting information or argument—that you should not find this connection surprising. Interpersonal competence also enables you to develop and maintain meaningful relationships in friendship, love, family, and work. Such relationships, in turn, contribute to the lower levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness observed in interpersonally competent people (Spitzberg & Cupach, 1989). Encoding–Decoding Encoding refers to the act of producing messages—for example, speaking or writing. Decoding is the reverse and refers to the act of understanding messages—for example, listening or reading. By sending your ideas via sound waves (in the case of speech) or light waves (in the case of writing), you’re putting these ideas into a code, hence encoding. By translating sound or light waves into ideas, you’re tak- ing them out of a code, hence decoding. Thus, speakers and writers are called encoders,  Foundations of Interpersonal Communication 21 and listeners and readers are called decod- ers. The term e­ncoding–­decoding is used to emphasize that the two activities are performed in combination by each par- ticipant. For interpersonal communica- tion to occur, messages must be encoded and decoded. For example, when a parent talks to a child whose eyes are closed and whose ears are covered by stereo head- phones, interpersonal communication does not occur because the messages sent are not being received. Code-Switching Technically, code switching refers to using more than one language in a conversation, often in the same sentence (Bullock & Toribio, 2012; ­Thompson, 2013; Esen, 2016). And so a native Spanish speaker might speak most VIEWPOINTS of a sentence in English and then insert a Spanish term or phrase. More popularly, On-Screen Competence however, code-switching refers to using different language styles depending on the What characters in television sitcoms situation. For example, you probably talk differently to a child than to an adult—in or dramas do you think demonstrate superior interpersonal competence? the topics you talk about and in the language you use. Similarly, when you text or What characters demonstrate obvious tweet, you use a specialized language consisting of lots of abbreviations and acronyms interpersonal incompetence? What that you discard when you write a college term paper or when you’re interviewing specifically do they say or do—or for a job. don’t say or don’t do—that leads you to judge them as being or not being The ability to code-switch serves at least two very important purposes. First, it interpersonally competent? identifies you as one of the group; you are not an outsider. It’s a way of bonding with the group. Second, it often helps in terms of making your meaning clearer; some things seem better expressed in one language or code than in another. Code switching can create problems, however. When used to ingratiate yourself or make yourself seem one of the group when you really aren’t—and that attempt is obvious to the group members—code switching is likely to work against you. You risk being seen as an interloper, as one who tries to gain entrance to a group to which one really doesn’t belong. The other case where code switching creates problems is when you use the code appropriate to one type of communication in another where it isn’t appropriate, for example, when you use your Facebook or Twitter grammar during a job interview. Communication competence, then, involves the ability to code-switch when it’s appropriate—when it makes your message clearer and when it’s genuine. Messages Messages are signals that serve as stimuli for a receiver and are received by one of our senses—auditory (hearing), visual (seeing), tactile (touching), olfactory (smelling), gustatory (tasting), or any combination of these senses. You communicate interperson- ally by gesture and touch as well as by words and sentences. The clothes you wear communicate to others and, in fact, to yourself as well. The way you walk communi- cates, as does the way you shake hands, tilt your head, comb your hair, sit, smile, or frown. Similarly, the colors and types of cell phones, the wallpaper and screen savers on your computer, and even the type and power of your computer communicate mes- sages about you. The photo and background theme you choose for your Twitter page reveals something about yourself beyond what your actual tweets reveal. Tweeters with the generic white bird photo and standard background communicate something quite different from the Tweeters who customize their pages with clever photos, original backgrounds, and sidebars. The same is true of Facebook pages. All of these signals are your interpersonal communication messages. 22 Chapter 1 Interpersonal communication can take place by phone, through prison cell walls, through webcams, or face-to-face. Increasingly, it’s taking place through computers, through Facebook and Twitter. Some of these messages are exchanged in real time. This is synchronous communication; the messages are sent and received at the same time, as in face-to-face and phone messages. Other messages do not take place in real time. This is asynchronous communication; the messages are sent at one time and received at another and perhaps responded to at still another time. For example, you might poke someone on Facebook today, but that person may not see it until tomorrow and may not poke you back until the next day. Similarly, you might find a tweet or a blog post today that was actually written weeks or even years ago. Messages may be intentional or unintentional. They may result from the most care- fully planned strategy as well as from the unintentional slip of the tongue, lingering body odor, or nervous twitch. Messages may refer to the world, people, and events as well as to other messages (DeVito, 2003a). Messages that are about other messages are called metamessages and represent many of your everyday communications; they include, for example, “Do you under- stand?,” “Did I say that right?,” “What did you say?,” “Is it fair to say that... ?,” “I want to be honest,” “That’s not logical.” Two particularly important types of metames- sages are ­feedback and feedforward. Feedback Messages Throughout the interpersonal communication process, you exchange feedback—messages sent back to the speaker concerning reactions to what is said (Sutton, Hornsey, & Douglas, 2012). Feedback tells the speaker what effect she or VIEWPOINTS he is having on listeners. On the basis of this feedback, the speaker may adjust, modify, Feedback and Relationships strengthen, deemphasize, or change the content or form of the messages. If we were to develop a feedback theory of relationships, it would Feedback may come from yourself or from others. When you send a message—say, hold that satisfying friendships, in speaking to another person—you also hear yourself. That is, you get feedback from romantic relationships, or workplace your own messages: You hear what you say, you feel the way you move, you see what relationships may be characterized you write. In addition to this self-feedback, you get feedback from others. This feedback by feedback that is positive, can take many forms. A frown or a smile, a yea or a nay, a pat on the back or a punch person-focused, immediate, low in monitoring (not self-censored), and in the mouth are all types of feedback. supportive—and that unsatisfying Feedback, of course, has significant effects on the receiver. For example, in one relationships are characterized study, positive feedback on social networking sites, complimenting, say, the photo or by feedback that is negative, self- profile, enhanced self-esteem and the sense of well-being whereas negative feedback focused, non-immediate, high in monitoring, and critical. How (criticism, for example) resulted in a decrease in self-esteem and well-being (Valken- effective is this “theory” in explaining burg, Peter, & Schouten, 2006). the relationships with which you’re Sometimes feedback is easy to identify, familiar? but sometimes it isn’t (Skinner, 2002). Part of the art of effective communication is to discern feedback and adjust your messages on the basis of that feedback. Feedforward Messages Feedforward is information you provide before sending your primary message (Richards, 1968). Feedforward reveals something about the message to come. Examples of feedforward include the preface or table of contents of a book, the opening paragraph of a chapter or post, movie previews, magazine covers, e-mail subject headings, and introductions in public speeches. Feedforward may serve a variety of functions. For example, you might use feedforward to express your wish to chat a bit, saying something like “Hey, I haven’t  Foundations of Interpersonal Communication 23 seen you the entire week; what’s been going on?” Or you might give a brief preview of your main message by saying something like “You’d better sit down for this; you’re going to be shocked.” Or you might ask ­others to hear you out before they judge you. Channel The communication channel is the medium through which messages pass. It’s a kind of bridge connecting source and receiver. Communication rarely takes place over only one channel; two, three, or four channels are often used simultaneously. For example, in face-to-face interaction, you speak and listen (vocal–auditory channel), but you also gesture and receive signals visually (gestural–visual channel), and you emit odors and smell those of others (chemical–olfactory channel). Often you communicate through touch (cutaneous–tactile channel). When you communicate online, you often send photo, audio, or video files in the same message or links to additional files and sites. In most situations, a variety of channels are involved. Another way to think about channels is to consider them as the means of com- munication: for example, face-to-face contact, telephone, e-mail and snail mail, Twitter, instant messaging, news postings, Facebook, film, television, radio, smoke signals, or fax—to name only some. Note that the channel imposes different restrictions on your message construction. For example, in e-mail you can pause to think of the right word or phrase, you can go on for as short or as long a time as you want without any threat of interruption or contradiction, and you can edit your message with ease. In face-to-face communica- tion, your pauses need to be relatively short. You don’t have the time to select just the right word or to edit, though we do edit a bit when we review what we said and put it in different words. In this text, face-to-face communication and online/social media communication are integrated for a number of important reasons: 1. It’s the way we communicate today. We interact face-to-face and online. Some interac- tions are likely exclusively face-to-face, while others are exclusively online. Increasingly, our interactions are with people with whom we communicate both online and offline. 2. Online and offline communication are related. The research and theory discussed here on face-to-face and on online communication inform each other. Most of the interpersonal theories discussed here were developed for face-to-face interaction but have much to say about online relationships as well. 3. Employers expect employees to have both offline and online communication skill sets. The ability to communicate orally and in writing (both online and offline) is consistently ranked among the most important qualities employers are looking for in new employees. For example, your employability will depend, in great part, on how effectively you communicate in your e-mails, in your phone conferences, in your Skype interviews, and in your in- person interviews. INTERPERSONAL CHOICE POINT 4. Both forms of communication are vital to current-day com- Channels munication. We increasingly develop, and maintain, rela- tionships online with many of them moving to face-to-face Your teacher’s wife has passed away after a sudden interactions if the online interaction proves satisfying. And heart attack. How will you express your condolences? increasingly, relationships are dissolved through email and a. Send him a text message. Facebook and Twitter posts. b. Phone him. Throughout this text, face-to-face and online communica- c. Visit his house. tion are discussed, compared, and contrasted. Table 1.1 presents d. Pat his hand and look sympathetic. a brief summary of some communication c­ oncepts and some of e. Other the ways in which these two forms of communication are similar and different. 24 Chapter 1 Table 1.1 Face-to-Face and Online Communication Face-to-Face Communication Online Communication Sender Presentation of self and Personal characteristics (sex, approximate age, Personal characteristics are hidden and are impression management race, etc.) are open to visual inspection; receiver controls revealed when you want to reveal them; ano- the order of what is attended to; disguise is difficult. nymity is easy. Speaking turn You compete for the speaker’s turn and time with It’s always your turn; speaker time is unlimited; the other person(s); you can be interrupted. you can’t be interrupted. Receiver Number One or a few who are in your visual field. Virtually unlimited. Opportunity for interaction Limited to those who have the opportunity to meet; often Unlimited. difficult to find people who share your interests. Third parties Messages can be overheard by or repeated to third Messages can be retrieved by others or for- parties but not with complete accuracy. warded verbatim to a third party or to thousands. Impression formation Impressions are based on the verbal and nonverbal cues Impressions are based on text messages and the receiver perceives. posted photos and videos. Context Physical Essentially the same physical space. Can be in the next cubicle or separated by miles. Temporal Communication is synchronous; messages Communication may be synchronous (as in chat are exchanged at the same (real) time. rooms) or asynchronous (where messages are exchanged at different times, as in e-mail). Channel All senses participate in sending and receiving messages. Visual (for text, photos, and videos) and auditory. Message Verbal and nonverbal Words, gestures, eye contact, accent, vocal cues, Words, photos, videos, and audio messages. spatial relationships, touching, clothing, hair, etc. Permanence Temporary unless recorded; speech signals fade rapidly. Messages are relatively permanent. Noise Technically, noise is anything that distorts a message—anything that prevents the receiver from receiving the message as the sender sent it. At one extreme, noise may prevent a message from getting from source to receiver. A roaring noise or line static can easily prevent entire messages from getting through to your receiver. At the other extreme, with virtually no noise interference, the message of the source and the message received are almost identical. Most often, however, noise distorts some portion of the message a source sends as it travels to a receiver. Four types of noise (physical noise, physiological noise, psychological noise, and semantic noise) are especially relevant and will help you identify sources of noise you’d want to lessen. Physical noise is interference that is external to both speaker and listener; it impedes the physical transmission of the signal or message. Examples include the screeching of passing cars, the hum of a computer, sunglasses, extraneous mes- sages, illegible handwriting, blurred type or fonts that are too small or difficult to read, misspellings and poor grammar, and pop-up ads. Still another type of physi- cal noise is extraneous information that makes what you want to find more difficult, for example, spam or too many photos on Facebook. Physiological noise is created by barriers within the sender or receiver, such as visual impairments, hearing loss, articulation problems, and memory loss. Psychological noise is mental interference in the speaker or listener and includes p