Chapter 11: Managing Conflict PDF

Chapter 11: Managing Conflict Professor Katie Bruns What is conflict? Conflict: an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals. What is conflict? Expressed struggle...

Chapter 11: Managing Conflict Professor Katie Bruns What is conflict? Conflict: an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals. What is conflict? Expressed struggle  All people involved must know that some disagreement exists Perceived incompatible goals  Goals are perceived to be mutually exclusive Perceived scarce resources Interdependence Interference  Power & Conflict Power: the ability to manipulate, influence, or control. 1. always present 2. depends on context 3. influences communication  One-up message expresses dominance and control. “I’m bringing home takeout for dinner.”) Types of power: reward, coercive,  One-down message expresses referent, informational, legitimate, submission. “Would you like takeout for expert dinner?”  One-across message is neither dominant nor submissive. “It’s almost dinner time.” The Nature of Conflict Conflict is composed of the following dimensions: 1. Content: actual topic of disagreement 2. Relational: implications on the relationship 3. Procedural: concerned with how a decision should be made/implemented What’s there to fight over?  Personal criticisms, finances, division of labor 3 Dimensions of Conflict What’s Your Conflict Style? Conflict Styles 1. Avoidance 2. Accommodation 3. Competition 4. Compromise 5. Collaboration Avoidance (Lose-Lose) Ignore or stay away from conflict Pessimistic attitude about conflict Easier to put up with the status quo Leads to unsatisfying relationships Avoidance can help when:  the risk of speaking up is too great.  the relationship isn’t worth the effort.  when the issue is temporary. Accommodation (Lose-Win)  When we allow others to have their way rather than fighting for our way  Could enhance relationship if done with the right intentions Can lead to resentment Competition (Win-Lose) Win-lose approach to conflict that involves high concern for self and low concern for others Your goal is to win the conflict Beneficial when only one can “win” Bid for control can breed aggression  Passive aggression: When a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner  Direct aggression: Character attacks, competence attacks, physical appearance attacks, maledictions (wishing bad fortune), teasing, ridicule, threats, swearing, nonverbal emblems Compromise (Win-Win & Lose-Lose) Gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals Takes time and patience, but usually a better outcome Costs can be great if one person compromises values Collaboration (Win-Win) Win-win solutions to conflict that satisfy all parties involved. High degree of concern for self and others. Goal of solving problems in “our way.” Cooperative problem solving is rare because it takes a lot of time and effort. Win-win is not always possible or appropriate. Which style to use? There is no single “best” way to respond to conflicts Consider:  The situation  The other person  Your goals Toxic Conflict: The Four Horsemen Criticism: complaining, attacking character Defensiveness: deny responsibility, counterattacks Contempt: belittle & demean, attack self-worth Stonewalling: withdrawing, shutting down dialogue Toxic Conflict & Antidotes Conflict Patterns  Serial arguments: repetitive conflicts about the same issue § Conflict rituals: Unacknowledged, but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior § Rituals are a problem when they are the only way relational partners handle conflicts Conflict Management in Practice 1. Define your needs 2. Share your needs Choose suitable time/place Use “I” language 3. Listen to the other person’s needs 4. Generate possible solutions 5. Evaluate the possible solutions and choose the best one 6. Implement the solution 7. Follow up on the solution