The Flow PDF: Attract Women, Improve Relationships

1 By Dan Bacon Copyright © All rights reserved TheModernMan.com 2 Table of Contents Introduction................................................................... 6 The Story of The Flow....................................................... 6 Chapter 1: The Four Steps of The Flow...................... 21 Using The Flow to Automatically Create Sexual Chemistry......................................................................... 23 Chapter 2: Step 1 of The Flow..................................... 27 Start an Interaction......................................................... 27 Conversation Contribution............................................. 36 Conversation Starters..................................................... 40 1. Direct Conversation Starters..................................... 41 2. Situational Conversation Starters............................. 47 3. Simple Conversation Starters.................................... 52 Chapter 3: Step 2 of The Flow..................................... 60 Spark Attraction............................................................... 60 8 Personality Traits That Naturally Attract Women.... 62 1. Confident...................................................................... 63 2. Masculine..................................................................... 77 3. Funny............................................................................ 91 4. Unpredictable............................................................ 152 3 5. Charming.................................................................... 160 6. Sexual......................................................................... 170 7. Charismatic................................................................ 185 8. Socially Intelligent..................................................... 195 Chapter 4: Step 3 of The Flow................................... 214 Develop a Connection................................................... 214 4 Attractive Ways to Connect With a Woman............ 215 1. Talk From Your Perspective..................................... 216 2. Be Easygoing.............................................................. 221 3. Ask Questions and Expand on Her Answers......... 225 4. Create Intimate Energy Moments........................... 230 Chapter 5: Step 4 of The Flow................................... 236 Take it to the next level................................................ 236 10 Next Level Moments................................................ 239 1. Touch Her................................................................... 241 2. Get Alone With Her................................................... 251 3. Get Her Phone Number or Add Her to Facebook. 258 4. Call Her or Text Her Right After Getting Her Phone Number.......................................................................... 260 5. Kiss Her the First Time That You Meet Her............ 264 6. Have Sex With Her on the First Day or Night That You Meet Her................................................................. 273 4 7. Call Her to Arrange a First Date............................... 281 8. Kiss Her on the First Date......................................... 306 9. Have Sex on the First Date....................................... 309 10. Text Her or Call Her to Arrange a Second Date... 312 Chapter 6: Summary of The Flow............................. 315 5 Introduction The Story of The Flow Welcome to The Flow and an exciting, new chapter of your life with women. Before I teach you how to attract and pick up women by using the simple Flow process, I'm first going to tell you why and how I created it. It all started when I got dumped by my girlfriend, who I had picked up by pure luck one night while a bit drunk at a party. When I met her, I had no idea how to attract her or what to say, but somehow I managed to start dancing with her, which then lead to a drunken kiss at the party and after that we started a relationship. Back then, I thought of her as being out of my league because she was naturally beautiful and came from upper middle class family, whereas I am only average to below average looking and I came from a lower middle class family. 6 I felt unworthy of her because of how much value I placed on her looks and social status, which then made me feel insecure and she picked up on it. She noticed that I felt inferior and that I felt insecure about her talking to other guys, even though they were just innocent male friends or coworkers. I also worried that her girlfriends might tell her that I didn't deserve her and would then convince her to dump me for a better guy. I became a typical jealous boyfriend who was trying to protect the love that he'd found by pure luck. Eventually, it got to the point where I needed her to constantly reassure me that she loved me, wanted to be with me and would never cheat on me or leave me. She kept saying that she loved me and to not worry about it, but I couldn't calm my insecurities down because secretly, I knew that I had picked her up by luck. I knew that she could easily find another guy to replace me, but I wouldn't be able to find a beautiful woman to replace her. 7 My behavior became increasingly insecure as I worried that a guy at work or one of her male friends might steal her from me. Back then, I didn't know that women are attracted to the emotional strength of men and turned off by the emotional weakness, so I continued on with my insecure behavior and thought that she would put up with it because she loved me so much. Yet, she was about to teach me a harsh lesson that would completely change the course of my life. One night, she went out to party with her sister and a friend and cheated on me by kissing a guy at a bar. She called me the next morning to say, "I have something to tell you" and then said that she had kissed a guy the night before, she felt good about it and was now breaking up with me. She said that her and I were finished and that she didn't want to see me anymore. I was devastated. 8 I got dumped back in a time when there weren't any dating or relationship gurus helping guys online, so I was basically on my own. Over the next couple of years, I lost a lot of confidence in myself and began to believe that I just wasn’t good enough for beautiful women. Yet, what I didn't know back then was that I could actively make women feel attracted to me. I didn't even know that I was in control over how much or little attraction a woman feels for me. I thought that it was up to the woman and I just had to hope that she wouldn't reject me during an interaction or get bored of me in a relationship and then dump me. Luckily, that isn't how it works. The good news is that you can actively attract a woman when you meet her and then build on her attraction for you over time in a relationship, so she doesn't ever want to leave you. When you have that skill, which you will be learning in this book, it takes the fear out of approaching women and it also takes the fear out of being in a relationship. 9 You know that you can attract almost all of the women that you meet, so you're not afraid to approach. You also know that if you do get into a relationship, you're going to be able to continue being attractive to her, so it takes the fear of getting into a relationship. Yet, back when I got dumped, there was no one around to tell me that, so I lost a lot of confidence in myself and feared what would happen if I ever did get into a relationship with a beautiful woman again. That fear of rejection or of being dumped made me come across as being unsure of myself when I was interacting with beautiful women, so they felt turned off by me and I remained single and alone. I’d look around and see other guys with a beautiful girlfriend or wife on their arm and wonder, “Why can’t I get that? What is wrong with me? Why don’t women like me?” I knew that I was a good guy and that I deserved better with women, but beautiful women just didn’t seem to value the traits that I had to offer them. 10 For example: I was a nice guy, I dressed very well, I had a good job, I thought of myself as being intelligent and I would also treat a woman incredibly well if she was my girlfriend. Yet, women just weren't interested in what I was offering as a potential lover or boyfriend. So, I continued to remain alone. After a long week at work, I would usually spend my weekends alone at home or I would catch up with my only close friend at the time, to talk and hang out. Back then, I also found it hard to make new friends, so I just spent most of my time alone. It was like I just didn't quite fit in with people and they could tell. It was a sad, lonely time in my life. I really wanted to meet women and get myself a girlfriend or at least have some sex with a beautiful woman, but the idea of approaching and talking to women that I didn’t know was something that made me feel very nervous. 11 I felt nervous because I had no idea what to say to get them interested in me and I also feared being rejected if I did actually walk over and start a conversation. I'd think to myself, "Why would a beautiful woman be interested in me? I've tried to talk to beautiful women in the past and they haven't been interested, so why are they going to be interested in me now? What's the point of risking talking to her, getting rejected and then feeling even worse about myself afterwards?" Since I had no idea how to actively attract a woman during an interaction, I began to think that I would just have to put up with being alone or accepting an unattractive woman. I thought it was just how life was meant to be for me and assumed that I wasn't good enough for the types of women that I really wanted. So, I hid behind my fear of rejection and feelings of unworthiness and continued on alone. Years of my life wasted away, while everyone else around me was enjoying sex, love and relationships. 12 The women that I knew at work were either unattractive or already in a relationship, so I felt like I had no options to meet women. If I went out to approach women, they would reject me and women at work were either unattractive or taken. So, what was I going to do at that point? Keep looking at porn for the rest of my life? Die alone like some unwanted loser? No way. I had to do something about it. I had to work out what I was missing. So, I decided to face up to my fears and go out to bars and nightclubs every weekend to approach women until I worked out how to get beautiful women to feel attracted to me. Initially, approaching beautiful women in bars and clubs felt like a scary, risky thing to do because I didn't even know how I was going to get them to feel attracted to me. 13 However, I was willing to try it because I didn't want to have to end up accepting an unattractive woman or be alone for the rest of my life. I wanted to discover the reason why other guys could easily get a hot girlfriend, when all I could get was an unattractive woman to show me some interest. Around that time, I was lucky enough to meet a new friend who was willing to come along to approach women with me every weekend so he could learn and improve as well. After a few weeks of approaching, I was able to start a conversation fairly well and get some initial interest for a minute or two, but I would then usually run out of things to say and leave the interaction without getting a phone number or any other result. Then, after about 200 approaches, I began to work out how to trigger a beautiful woman's feelings of sexual attraction for me and make her interested and keen to get to know me. For example: I would display confidence and charisma, be charming, have a masculine vibe and use what I call Playfully Arrogant Humor, which you will be getting examples of in this book. 14 When I began to display personality traits that naturally attract women, beautiful women then wanted to keep talking to me and were even helping me to keep the conversation going with them. I couldn't believe what was happening. All of my life, beautiful women had never wanted anything to do with me and now they were attracted and actively trying to keep conversations going with me. It was amazing. Physically, I still looked like the same guy who was getting rejected by women months earlier, but the thing that had changed is that I was now displaying attractive personality traits and it was making women feel sexually attracted to me. Interacting with me felt exciting and arousing for women, compared to how bored I used to make them feel in the past with my standard nice guy approach, where I'd ask them what they do for a living and then try to impress them by talking about my office job and my ambitions in the office. 15 The standard nice guy approach that I was using before and that most guys use on women just doesn't work because it doesn't trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman. To make women feel sexually attracted to me, I didn't have to stop being a good guy and become a bad boy. Instead, I simply became a good guy with balls. Having balls means that I developed emotional strength and emotional toughness. I was no longer the insecure guy that I used to be. Women could feel my confidence and emotional strength during interactions and it turned them on. Once I was able to attract women in that way, I began taking women to go home and have sex with me on the first night and for the ones who weren't open to that, I got their phone number and had sex with them on the first or second date instead. All of sudden, I was having loads of sex during the week and I had several beautiful women in my life at once. It was so amazing that it was almost unreal at times. 16 Sometimes, I’d finish having sex with a hot woman and see her walk out of my bedroom naked to go to the bathroom or kitchen and I’d think, “Wow…I did it. I’m having sex with hotties now. This is really happening and it’s not luck. It’s happening nonstop. I'm able to go out, attract hot women and pick some of them up. The more that I do this, the easier it gets.” Fast forward a year and a half later and I had already achieved the type of success with women that most guys only ever dream of. I was dating and having sex with beautiful women like it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world. Attractive women were calling me up and wanting to see me all the time. The best part about it all was that I was being a more real, authentic, ballsy and grown up version of myself and women were loving me for it. While I was enjoying all of that success, I made sure to write down detailed notes of what I was saying and doing to get beautiful women to have sex with me and want to be my girlfriend. 17 Eventually, I cleaned up the notes into a start to finish format and put it all into this book, The Flow. Now, thanks to you for taking the first step and purchasing this life-changing book, you are about to be let in on my personal secrets for success with women that most men will never know about. I am about to share with you what literally took me more than a thousand hours of testing, practice and trial and error to work out. What you learn in The Flow will allow you to attract, date and get into sexual relationships with women that you choose. It’s not about getting lucky anymore or taking whatever scraps you can get with women. Instead, it’s about you having your choice of women. Your path to success with women will be so much faster than mine because you don't have to waste years trying to work all of this stuff out yourself. For me, it took a year and a half to fully work out how to attract and pick up women and then invent a simple, 4- 18 step sequence that I needed to follow, which is now called The Flow. For you, all you need to do now is use The Flow on women and you will immediately begin getting results. I’ve heard back from readers who’ve used The Flow on the same day that they got it, only after reading part of the book and have already gotten a phone number and set up a date with a new woman. For some guys though, it does take weeks before they work up the courage to use the techniques because it feels like a big change for them to start interacting with women and being a bit more ballsy and charismatic in the ways that I advise in this book. However, once a guy does try the techniques, he instantly realizes how easy it is to attract women and he then regrets wasting time not using the techniques before then. So, if you are one of the guys who are a bit hesitant to approach women, make sure that you use the confidence techniques in this book to push yourself to at least start talking to women that you find attractive. You don't even have to try to pick them up. 19 Just talk to a woman and use some of the techniques and you will see that she feels attracted to you. Once you start using the techniques, you will realize that most women are way easier to attract and pick up than they make themselves out to be. All you need to do is go through the simple Flow process with the attractive women that you meet and before you know it, you will begin to have your choice of women. Other guys will have no idea how you are getting attractive women to have sex with you and want to be your girlfriend so easily, but you and I will know the secret. On that note, let’s get The Flow started! Cheers Dan 20 Chapter 1: The Four Steps of The Flow The four steps of The Flow are: 1. Start an interaction. 2. Spark attraction. 3. Develop a connection. 4. Take it to the next level. 1. Start an 2. Spark 3. Develop a 4. Take it to interaction attraction connection the next level What most guys do is start an interaction and then try to develop a connection with a woman and then take it to the next level. 21 They skip the part of sparking her feelings of sexual attraction and turning her on. So, when the guy then tries to get her phone number or move in for a kiss, she rejects him because she doesn’t even feel sexually attracted to him. If you want to be successful at picking up women to get laid or get a girlfriend, you must ensure that you start with attraction before trying to develop a connection and take it to the next level with a woman. All you need to do is proactively start an interaction with a woman, create a spark of sexual attraction inside of her, connect with her and then take the interaction to the next level by getting her phone number, adding her to Facebook, kissing her, having sex with her, or setting up a date. Picking up women doesn't need to be any more complicated than that. When you approach your interactions with women by starting with attraction and then developing a connection, most women will drop their guard, open up to you and be willing to take things to the next level with you. 22 For her, it feels completely natural to want to take things to the next level with you because she's feeling a spark of sexual attraction, is connecting with you and she's curious about what might happen if you and her did kiss, have sex, go on a date or get into a relationship. However, even if a woman is feeling a lot of attraction for you and is connecting with you, she will usually continue to test your confidence by playing hard to get throughout the entire Flow process, but you simply need to remain confident and keep moving forward from one step to the next. Using The Flow to Automatically Create Sexual Chemistry This is the real magic of The Flow. You might have heard of a man and a woman having great sexual chemistry with each other and you might have also heard of people having friendly chemistry with each other. If you want to be successful with women, you need to create sexual chemistry and the good news is that The 23 Flow automatically creates sexual chemistry between you and the women that you meet. Here's how it works… When a woman feels sexually attracted and emotionally connected with you, the result is sexual chemistry. Sexual Emotional Sexual attraction connection chemistry However, if a woman doesn't feel sexually attracted to a guy and he then builds an emotional connection with her, the result is going to be a possible friendship or a forgettable, friendly conversation. No sexual Emotional Friend or attraction connection forgettable 24 Not creating sexual attraction and only developing a connection is the approach that most guys use when they try to pick women up. A guy will start off by trying to get to know her and create some sort of emotional connection and bond and then, he'll hope that he can get a chance with her sometime in the future. Yet, that approach goes against the flow of nature because it doesn't give women what they actually want, which is a feeling of sexual attraction first. You want to feel sexually attracted to the woman that you want to be with and likewise, a woman wants to feel sexually attracted to the guy that she wants to be with. When you guide a woman through steps of The Flow, you will notice that steps 2 and 3 automatically create the exciting, unforgettable feeling of sexual chemistry between you and her. 1. Start an 2. Spark 3. Develop a 4. Take it to interaction attraction connection the next level Sexual chemistry is automatically created during these two steps of The Flow 25 To recap, the 4 steps of The Flow are: 1. Start an interaction. 2. Spark attraction. 3. Develop a connection. 4. Take it to the next level. Now that you are clear on the 4 steps of The Flow and why it's so important to follow them in the correct order, let's go through each step of The Flow in detail. I will explain what you can say and do at each step to make the woman feel increasingly attracted to you, connected with you and excited to take things to the next level. 26 Chapter 2: Step 1 of The Flow Start an Interaction 1. Start an 2. Spark 3. Develop a 4. Take it to the interaction attraction connection next level The reason why Start an Interaction is the first step of The Flow is that you need to be 100% clear that it is your role to start The Flow process with a woman, rather than waiting around hoping that she does it for you. Although life would be nice and easy if beautiful women approached us men and guided us through the steps of The Flow, it's just not how the human mating dance works. Women want to be approached by a guy who has the balls to walk up and start an interaction with her, because it increases the chances of her finding a guy who might also be confident in other areas of life as well. 27 If a woman goes around approaching random guys and hitting on them, she might accidentally give a nervous, insecure guy a chance to be with her. Then, if she falls pregnant to him, she's most likely going to be stuck with him for life or for a very long time. If he happens to be nervous and insecure in other areas of life, he might be the sort of guy who gets picked on, overlooked for promotions at work and lacks friends to support him during tough times. He might also be the sort of guy who needs her to continually encourage him and support him emotionally, because he isn't emotionally strong enough to handle the challenges of life like a confident man can. So, waiting to be approached by a confident guy is one of the best ways that a woman can increase her chances of being paired up with a guy who she can feel safe with in this world. Women want to find a confident guy rather than an insecure guy, but here's something that most guys don't know… 28 Most women are way easier to pick up than they make themselves out to be. Even though a woman wants to find a confident guy, she will often accept a guy who lacks confidence around her because she is actually easy to pick up. That is part of the reason why you see so many guys with hot women and think, "What is she doing with him?" The answer is simple: She is easy to pick up, just like most women are. They don't act like they are easy to pick up, but they are. All you've got to do is have the balls to start an interaction, spark her attraction, connect with her and then have the balls to take the interaction to the next level, such as a phone number, kiss, sex, date or relationship. If you can approach women in that way from now on, picking up women will be a piece of cake for you. Not for other guys though. 29 So many guys in this world waste most of their life standing around trying to look good for women, or trying to look cool or alpha. They hope that if they just wear good enough clothes, make enough money, get in shape and seem friendly enough, women will then say, "Wow! I've got to approach that guy and pick him up." Yes, that does happen to some very good-looking guys. However, most guys are just normal, average or below average looking and most women don't ever approach guys anyway. If you want your choice of women, you've got to be active and start an interaction. Make something happen, rather than waiting and hoping that something magically happens because women suddenly change and decide that they want to approach random men. If you can start being more active around women, you will quickly realize that almost every other guy is living in fear and won't approach women unless he is drunk or has friends to run back to if he gets rejected. 30 Don't be like those guys. Be one of the wise, confident men who know that women are way easier to pick up than most guys realize. Start an interaction, spark her attraction, connect with her and have the confidence to then take it to the next level. That's what women want you to do. They don't act like they want you to do that though, because they don't want to make it easy for insecure guys to get a chance with them. Secretly, women are hoping that a guy has the balls to make a move and the social intelligence to understand that women can't go around making their desire for sex and a relationship too obvious. Why? Because most guys would be willing to have sex with her even if he and her aren't a match. Even if a man doesn't want to have children, he has the natural instinct to want to implant his seed and breed with women. 31 Most men can immediately look at a woman and instantly decide "Yes" or, "No" about whether they'd have sex with her. Of course, most of those guys don't just have sex with a woman and then leave her immediately. The majority of guys would also want to have a relationship with the woman if they found her attractive, got along with her and enjoyed spending time with her. Yet, here's the thing… Women don't just want any random guy to come along, find her attractive and then want to have sex with her and start a relationship with her. A woman wants a guy who has the balls to approach her, the ability to attract her and then the balls to make something happen even though she's not making it obvious that she wants something to happen. Why? Because that says a lot about how he will handle himself in this world. If he's able to remain confident even though she's not giving him huge signals of interest, it makes her feel as though he might have the confidence to push forward 32 and achieve other goals in life, even when things are difficult. It also suggests that she won't have to be the emotionally tough one in the relationship and have to protect him. She can relax into being his feminine woman because he is clearly a man who has the balls to go after what he wants in life, even if it seems scary to the majority of other men. So, just know that when you approach a woman in a confident, relaxed way, almost all women will be glad to get an opportunity to meet a rare guy like you. Most of the guys who approach women are either drunk, clearly nervous, acting really nice, or acting weird by saying something like, "I want your phone number" as soon as they meet her, rather than making her feel attracted, connecting with her for a bit first and then asking for the number. When you are the guy who has the ability to confidently start an interaction, spark some attraction, create a connection and then take the interaction to the next level, you will laugh at how easy women are to pick up. 33 Even after all these years, I am still amazed at how 95% of guys are clueless about how easy women are to pick up. Almost every guy that I have met through my friends and their friends have been brainwashed by the media mentality about women. By media mentality, I mean that the guy believes the fake image of women that is portrayed by the media. He believes that women are more valuable than men, women aren't interested in sex, men have to suck up to women to get a chance with them and men need to buy women lots of things to impress them and keep them happy. When a guy believes that women are that difficult to pick up and keep happy in a relationship, he feels afraid to approach and start interactions with attractive women. While talking to a woman, he feels like he's going to have to do so much to impress her to get a chance with her. Yet, what he doesn't know is that most women are very easy to impress because they simply want a good guy who is confident and doesn't feel rejected when she plays hard to get to test his confidence. 34 Of course, women won't make it obvious that they are that easy to pick up. If you ask a woman what she wants, she will say things like, "Tall, handsome, big dick, rich, celebrity" and so on. Yet, that's just what she says. Almost all women pretend to have really high standards and then happily accept guys who don't even have the superficial things that they've been asking for. Most guys don't know that, but you do. You are one of the rare guys now who won't be held back by the media mentality of women. You will begin to see women for who they truly are and you will realize that they are so damn easy to attract and pick up, as long as you have the confidence to smile at their tests and keep going. When a woman sees that you're not feeling rejected like 95% of other guys do when she plays hard to get, she feels excited to finally be interacting with a guy who has the kind of balls that she wants in a man. 35 You are different to other guys. You don't fall for the superficial trick of rejection that women put guys through to test them. You smile at that, knowing that women need to test to see if you are confident and if you are, they instantly feel more attracted to you. However, don't expect all women to immediately show that attraction. Playing it cool and acting like she doesn't care if you get her number or hook up with her, is just another test of your confidence. Some women make it really obvious that they like you, but the hot ones usually don't. So, be prepared to smile at her tests, remain confident and continue on with the rest of The Flow. Conversation Contribution When talking to a new woman, you will often need to contribute more to the conversation than she does during the first minute or two. 36 Sometimes a woman will be immediately receptive to your approach, the conversation will start smoothly and she’ll talk openly and enthusiastically with you. However, don’t take it personally if every woman doesn’t react in that way at the start of a conversation. There are several reasons why a woman might not contribute a lot to the conversation initially: She might want to test your confidence and see if you will become nervous and feel unsure of yourself if she doesn't say much. She might be shy and find it hard to open up and talk to people that she's just met. She might be worried about saying something that will make her look uncool, silly or weird in your eyes. She might not want to look too easy in front of her friends, in front of you or in front of people in general. She might be waiting to see what kind of guy you are before she opens up and shows you her friendly, easygoing personality. So, when you start a conversation, don't expect that every woman will openly talk a lot and show lots of interest in you right away. 37 There are many reasons why a woman might be a bit tongue tied around you or be hesitant to show you too much interest right away. After all, if you think about how a woman's attraction works, you will realize that it's only natural that most women will want to see if you have the kind of personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities they look for, such as confidence, social intelligence and emotional strength. So, if a woman isn't contributing a lot to the conversation initially, just stay in there, remain composed and show her that you are confident, calm and relaxed. In most cases, that's just what she's wanting to see from you. She wants to test to see if you are going to crumble under the initial bit of pressure that most guys can't handle. She knows that she is easier to pick up than she makes herself out to be, so she doesn't want to allow a guy who isn't confident to get a chance with her. 38 She wants to make sure that when her guard does come down and she allows herself to be guided through The Flow process, that it's with a confident guy. So, when you can show a woman that you're confident, calm and relaxed at the start of a conversation, regardless of what she is saying or doing, she will then relax and feel attracted to the fact that you are confident, cool guy. She knows that almost every other guy who talks to her will start acting weird and feeling like he's being rejected when she doesn’t say much at the start. Yet, you are different. You don't need her to be gentle with you and make you feel comfortable at the start of an interaction because you are a confident, socially intelligent guy who understands that not all women dive right into an in- depth conversation when a random guy starts talking to them. When she sees that you're not freaking out and are relaxed and confident as you continue talking to her, she will drop her guard and show you the friendly, easygoing side of her personality that most guys never get to experience. 39 Conversation Starters I'm now going to give you three different types of conversation starters to use when you begin an interaction with a woman. 1. Direct conversation starters. 2. Situational conversation starters. 3. Simple conversation starters. What you need to understand is that a conversation starter is the way to start a conversation and doesn’t need to be the basis of any ongoing conversation between you and the woman. While it's important to start a conversation in the right way, don’t waste time trying to come up with a conversation starter that will spark an amazing conversation or blow a woman's mind. Just start an interaction by saying something. Once the interaction has begun, you will then be making her feel naturally attracted to you by letting her experience some of your attractive personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities, such as your confidence, humor, social intelligence, charisma and masculine vibe. 40 1. Direct Conversation Starters Direct conversation starters automatically make a woman feel some attraction to your confidence and masculinity. You're walking up to a woman and just getting right to the point by starting a conversation with her in a direct way. Here are some examples… Situation: You’re in a bar and you see a group of women that you’d like to speak to. You: Hey guys, I thought I’d come over and be social and say hi…I’m Dan – what's your names? Women: [Introduce themselves]. By the way… The reason why I say, "Hey guys" instead of, "Hey ladies" is that women are used to getting approached by really nice guys who refer to them as ladies in the hope of impressing them with politeness. 41 So, saying, "Hey guys" helps to show women that you're not another guy who is putting on a Mr. Nice Guy act in the hope of impressing them. Instead, you're a cool, easygoing and confident guy and have decided to start an interaction with them. Unlike other guys who don't know how to attract women and are hoping to be liked for being nice, you know that women are going to automatically like you in a sexual and romantic way as you begin to create sexual chemistry with them. Rather than hoping to get their approval if they see that you are nice enough, you assume that you have their approval and as a result, you're comfortable to say something like, "Hey guys" rather than, "Hey ladies." Of course, it's fine for much older guys who are 50+ to approach older women who are 50+ with a conversation starter than begins with, "Hey ladies," but for everyone else aged between 18 and 50, it's usually better to say, "Hey guys" instead because it's less formal and is seen as being more easygoing, cool and modern. By the way… When you say, "Hey guys, I thought I’d come over and be 42 social and say hi…I’m Dan – what are your names?" don't expect all of the women to give you their name. Sometimes, they all will, but sometimes a few women might remain in the background because they don't want to get in the way of their girlfriends meeting a guy. For example: If you approach a group of six women, two of them might already be taken and don't want you to focus on them and then ruin your chances with the other girls, so they will take a backseat and stay out of the way. Don't look at that as you being rejected. Just understand that most single women are just as keen to find a boyfriend, as most single men are to find a girlfriend. Of course, some women won't show that to guys because they don't want insecure guys feeling welcome to talk to them and hit on them. So, rather than worrying about what some women might say or do when you start talking to them, just get an interaction started. 43 Start an interaction, get some sparks of attraction flying back and forth between you and the women you like, connect with them and then begin to focus on the woman that you the like most, while also including her friends into the conversation at times. Here’s another example of a direct conversation starter. Situation: You notice a woman on her own as you walk into a bar, party or social event, so you immediately walk up and start talking to her. You walk right in and say: You: Hey, I noticed you when I walked in and I thought I’d come over and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name? Her: [Introduces herself]. As long as you add in a smile and have an easygoing attitude, almost every woman that you say that to will smile and feel amazed at how direct and charming you seem to be. Unlike other guys, you're not putting on a nice guy act, asking her an unimportant question like, "What are you drinking?" or trying to buy her attention by saying, "Oh, hi…can I buy you a drink?" 44 Instead, you are confident enough to get right to the point in a direct, easygoing way. You're saying that you noticed her when you walked in and you thought you'd come over and say hi. That is seen as charming because you're being nice to her by subtly complimenting her on the fact that you noticed her when you walked in and you're also being attractive because your direct approach is confident and masculine. As long as you offer an easygoing smile and attitude while saying that conversation starter, the woman will see that you're a cool, confident, charming guy and she will open up to you. Here's another example of a direct conversation starter. Situation: You’re hanging out at a bar or nightclub and suddenly notice a woman that you’d like to talk to. Just walk up, put your arm around her waist for about 2 seconds and say, “Hey, I thought I’d come over and introduce myself. You look great. My name’s Dan, who are you?” 45 Being direct like that is attractive to women because it displays confidence, masculinity and social intelligence. Of course, some women will pretend to be shocked when you approach like that or a woman might not contribute much to the conversation initially, but that's either because the woman is shy or she's simply testing your confidence. Just smile, show her that you're confident and relaxed and continue talking to her. Some women might test your confidence by saying something like, "Gee, you're very smooth, aren't you?" and you can then smile and say, "Well, I guess that's the effect you have on me." Some women will continue the test by saying, "Do you do that to all the women you meet?" and you can smile and say, "Of course not" and add in, "Why would you ask that?" to make her regret ruining the moment. She will then feel the need to be nice to you and open up, rather than ruining the moment further. When you pass multiple confidence and social intelligence tests like that, you will see how quickly a woman feels attracted and starts hitting on you. 46 It's very rare for a woman to meet a guy who isn't afraid to be direct and who also has the social intelligence to pass her initial tests. Of course, not all women will put you through a lot of tests. I'm just giving you the worst-case scenario to prepare you. Most women will simply feel charmed, attracted and will open up to the conversation as you smile and look her in the eyes. 2. Situational Conversation Starters Here are some examples of situational conversation starters. Situation: You're walking around a supermarket and see a woman who has a lot of healthy food in her shopping trolley or basket. You: Gee, you're healthy aren't you? Look at all that healthy food. Here I was thinking that I was a good shopper and buying lots of healthy things, but gee – 47 look at you. Look at all those greens and all that healthy stuff there. Her: [Most likely smiling and having a laugh about that]. You: So, does that mean that you're a good cook as well? Her: [If she then says, "Yes"]. You: Oh, cool. So, when are you cooking me dinner? So, you've started out with a situational conversation starter where you have noticed something about the situation and then you're commenting on it or talking about it. Then, you're turning it into more of a direct approach where you are assuming that she likes you and of course she'd want to cook dinner for you or go out on a date with you, so you're just jokingly talking about that, but it's kind of half serious/half joking at the same time. A woman will usually laugh at that point and then you can say, "Hey, just kidding. Anyway, I'm Dan – what's your name?" and then get her name and have a little bit of a chat to her. After a bit of chitchat, you can say, "Hey look, I'm going to get back to my shopping now, but would you like to talk 48 again sometime? Maybe I could give you a call and say hi or something." If she is single, she's going to say, "Yes" and she's going to give you her phone number. You just get out your phone and open it up to the part where she can just start typing in her number. So, if you've said, "Hey, would you like to talk again sometime?" and she said, "Yes" then just get her to give you her number. Say, "Alright, cool. Put your number in here." Here's another example of a situational conversation starter. Situation: You're at a park on a Saturday or Sunday and you see a beautiful woman walking her dog. You walk up and say: You: Hey, cute dog. Woman: Thanks. You: …and the owner is even cuter. Woman: [Most likely going to laugh or smile]. 49 You then say something positive or complimentary about her dog because most pet owners really love their pet and they appreciate compliments about their pet. So, you can then say, "Oh, your dog looks like a happy little dog there" or, "Oh, your dog looks nice and healthy and strong." She's most likely going to thank you about that or talk about the dog being healthy or happy. You can then say something like, "Yeah, anyway…I'm just out going for a run today. I thought I'd come out and do a bit of exercise. How about you? Just out walking the dog and taking it easy?" and she's most likely going to say, "Yes" to that and then you just introduce yourself. "Hey, by the way – I'm Dan" and she gives you her name and then you can say something like, "Y'know, I was just about to go for a run there and I saw you and your cute little dog and I thought I'd say hi." Then get into a bit more of a conversation with her and then say, "Anyway, I'm going to get on with my run now, but would you like to talk again sometime? Maybe I could give you a call or something." 50 If she then says, "Yes" just pull out your phone and open it to the point where she can input her number, get her number and then tell her that you will give her a call sometime to say hi. Here's another example of a situational conversation starter. Situation: You're waiting to buy a coffee at a café and there's a bit of a queue. So, you're standing in front of or next to a beautiful woman who is waiting to order a coffee as well. Just turn to her and say, "Hey, how you doing? Coffee time, hey?" and essentially just start a very simple conversation about the fact that you're ordering coffee. You can add in some humor and say, "This is going to be my tenth cup of coffee for the day. How about you?" and then she's most likely going to think, "Whaaaat?" and smile and ask you, "10 cups of coffee?" or make some sort of comment or remark about it. You can then tell her, "I'm just kidding. It's going to be my second coffee. I'm not that bad; I drink about two or three coffees a day. How about you?" and then you're having a conversation with her about coffee. 51 You've started a conversation about coffee, you're not trying to pick her up and are just having an easygoing and funny conversation about coffee. 3. Simple Conversation Starters Some guys stop themselves from approaching a woman because they feel like they need to come up with something clever or interesting to say. You don't. In many cases, I often just walk up to women and say: Hey guys, what’s happenin’? Hey, what’s goin’ on? Hey, how are you doin'? Hey, how you going? These simple conversation starters are not meant as an actual question that the woman needs to answer. I'm not saying, "Hey guys, what is happening?" and expecting a serious answer from the women or woman. 52 Instead, it’s just another way of saying hello in a more casual, slang type of way. If you think about it, you might sometimes start a conversation with a friend in that way because you're comfortable with them. You might walk up to a friend and say, "Hey, what's happenin" and are not expecting a full-blown, in-depth answer as though you are actually asking a serious question. If your friend replies with, "Hey, what's up" you will then just get into a normal conversation with him or her. Starting a conversation with a simple conversation starter shows a woman that you're not intimidated by her, you're confident, you're cool and you are easygoing, which are all traits that attractive to women. By the way… Sometimes, women will immediately begin talking to you after you use a simple conversation starter, but other times they won't. 53 It really depends on the woman, how open she is, what she's trying to prove to you, what she's trying to prove to herself or others and whether she is shy or confident. So, don't take it personally if you start a conversation with, "Hey, what's going on?" and a woman looks at you in a puzzled way and says, "Oh, hi…" and then doesn't say anything else. You just need to understand that every woman you approach will be in a different frame of mind and that is not your fault. She will have a certain level of social confidence and experience and won't always be ready to start chatting openly with a cool guy, so she might be a bit shy to begin with. How can you ensure that things go as smoothly as possible when you use a simple conversation starter? To avoid encountering any problems with a simple conversation starter, I recommend that you make a statement after the conversation starter and then ask a question to help the woman or women into a conversation with you. Here’s an example: 54 You walk up and say: You: Hey what's happenin'? Women: Oh, hi… Now, you make a statement and then ask a question or two by saying something like: You: Yeah, my friend and I just got here. We were having a relaxing drink at XYZ bar down the down and thought it was time to come here and get our party on. How about you? What's been happening for you guys so far tonight? By talking to women like that, you are starting off in a confident way where you assume that you are welcome, rather than beginning in an insecure way and waiting for obvious signs of interest from the women before you feel welcome to open up and talk to them like a friend would. When you make a statement like that and then ask the women about their night, many or all of them will feel the social pressure to then talk about their night to seem cool too. Whatever the woman says about her night, you can then use that to continue the conversation. 55 For example: If she talks about how it's her friend's birthday that night, you can say, "Okay cool, I love birthdays" and then jokingly ask, "Where's the cake? I'm hungry." She will then feel attracted to your confidence, humor and social intelligence and you just need to keep building on the attraction and connection to create sexual chemistry that will naturally lead to the next level of a phone number, kiss, date or sex that night. Here's an example of a simple conversation starter where you volunteer some information with a statement and then ask a question or two. Situation: You and a friend walk into a lounge bar and you notice a group of women who seem to be just chilling out and taking it easy. You: [Smile and say] Hey guys, what’s happenin’…my friend and I just got here. We were chilling out at ABC bar up the road and thought we'd come here and check this place out. It's looking good. How about you guys – what's been happening for you so far tonight? 56 As long as you say that in a confident, easygoing way with a smile, the women will see that you're a cool, easygoing guy and they'll want to talk to you. In most cases, some of the women will then begin to volunteer information about their night so far, which you can then use to keep the conversation going. For example: One of the women might say, "Yeah, we've just been chilling out here and having cocktails" and she then might point to one of her friends and say, "One of our friends is already wasted" and you can all have a laugh about that. You can then say, "Are you sure? I thought it might be you that was wasted. Your friend looks fine" and have a laugh with her about that. Alternatively, she might say something like, "Oh, we had dinner before and now we're kicking back here and having some drinks and then we're going to dance later." You can then say, "Okay cool, maybe I can teach you some moves on the dance floor later on" and then have a laugh with them about that. 57 As you can see, you can start conversations with women in different ways, but what matters the most though is that you actually start an interaction. That way, you have an opportunity to spark some attraction, connect with the woman and then take the interaction to the next level. Women wait for guys to approach, so you're not doing anything wrong by giving them a chance to meet you, feel attracted to you and see where it goes. Women rarely get to meet a guy who can approach them and just be confident, easygoing and not trying to suck up to them with a nice guy act or try his luck with a drunk, sleazy approach. All you have to do is start an interaction, spark some attraction, connect with a woman and before you know it, she will feel like you and her click. What you will notice from now on is that most guys just stand around looking at women, or they try their luck with a nice guy approach or drunk and sleazy attempt at pick up. 58 When you walk up and talk to women in a confident, easygoing way, you will be amazed at how women respond to you. Many of the women that you meet will instantly feel as though you are the type of guy that they've been waiting for and she will then hope that you have the confidence to keep the interaction going and take it to the next level. Now that you understand that it's your role to get things started with a woman, let's look at how to make her feel intense attraction for you all the way through the interaction. 59 Chapter 3: Step 2 of The Flow Spark Attraction 1. Start an 2. Spark 3. Develop a 4. Take it to the interaction attraction connection next level Attracting women is actually the easy part, as you will discover when you begin to display attractive traits and believe that it is making women feel attracted. If you display attractive traits like confidence, humor, masculinity, charm and charisma and still think that women aren't attracted to you, they will feel turned off by you because they will sense your self-doubt. Women are naturally attracted the emotional strength of men, such as confidence, self-esteem and self- assurance and are turned off by emotional weakness, such as insecurity, low self-esteem and self-doubt. 60 So, what you need to do is display attractive traits and believe that it's working, even if a woman is testing your confidence by acting like it isn't. When she can see that you believe in your attractiveness to her because you remain confident and relaxed no matter what, it then makes her feel more attracted to you because you are displaying emotional strength. Some insecure guys don't want to believe that it's possible for them to attract women, so they will talk to women and then doubt that what they are saying and doing is working. The women will then sense the self-doubt and uneasiness of the guy and they will feel turned off by him because of that. Don't be one of those guys. Women want you to be confident. That is what they are looking for you. They want you to be confident about your attractiveness to them, especially when they act like they aren't feeling attracted to you. 61 In most cases, the more attractive a woman is, the more she will pretend that she isn't interested to really test your confidence, but some attractive women won't even test much at all and will just go along with the pickup from hello to sex. You just have to be prepared for the challenge that some women will give while believing that what you are doing is working. If you doubt that you're making the women feel attracted to you, they will feel turned off by your lack of confidence in your attractiveness to them and they will close up and lose interest. So, now let's have a look at the 8 personality traits that naturally attract women and how you can display them during an interaction. 8 Personality Traits That Naturally Attract Women Women from all over the world are attracted to guys who are: 1. Confident. 62 2. Masculine. 3. Funny. 4. Unpredictable. 5. Charming. 6. Sexual. 7. Charismatic. 8. Socially intelligent. You don't have to display all of those traits at once and you don't even need to display all of them to pick up every type of woman. Some women will feel more than enough attraction for you based on 2 or 3 of those traits, whereas others will require a stronger attraction experience before they feel compelled to go through the rest of The Flow with you, rather than losing out on their opportunity to be with you. Let's start with the most important trait of all, which is to be confident… 1. Confident One of the best ways to display confidence is to assume that a woman likes you and finds you attractive. 63 Rather than assuming that she might not like you or that you have to do a lot to make her feel attracted to you, just assume that you're already good enough for her to like you and feel sexually attracted to you. This is what I call the Assume Rapport and Attraction technique. The dictionary definition of rapport is: Rapport (noun): An understanding of each other than allows you to communicate openly and freely together. In other words, when you have rapport with someone, you don't need to work on building a level of understanding with each other and can freely and openly communicate with each other like close friends. So, rather than trying to work towards having rapport or wasting a lot of time trying to get to know her first, so you can show her that you are someone that she can trust and get along with, just assume that you and her are already cool with each other from the start. Talk to her with the confidence that you'd display when you begin talking to a close friend that you already have great rapport with. 64 Essentially, when you assume rapport and attraction with a woman, you: Assume acceptance o When you approach a woman, just assume that she openly accepts you and wants to talk to you. Assume approval o When you approach a woman, just assume that you already have her approval to talk to her or her friends. Assume that she likes you o When you approach a woman, just assume that she already likes you and you don’t need to do anything special to get her interested. She’s already interested. When a guy doesn't assume that a woman accepts him, approves of him, likes him and feels attracted to him, he will find it difficult to hide his insecurity around her. She will sense his self-doubt and perceive him as being a guy who lacks confidence in himself or worse, seems a bit weird or odd. What you need to remember is that women are naturally attracted to confidence, not insecurity. 65 So, you're not doing you or her any favors by assuming that she doesn't like you. When you assume that a woman does like you, it makes her feel attracted to your confidence, which then makes you feel good about yourself because she is attracted and interested. However, if you assume that a woman doesn't like you, it makes you come across as being unsure of yourself, which turns her off and then makes you feel like crap because she isn't interested. So, just do what works. Don't get all analytical and wonder, "But, what if she doesn't like me?" because that's just the type of insecure thinking that turns women off. Women don't want your insecurity; they want your confidence. That is what her instincts are urging her to find in a guy, so let her find that in you. When you assume that are good enough for a woman and just talk to her in a confident, relaxed manner, you 66 will actually be displaying the type of confidence that women look for in a guy. A woman might pretend as though it's not working initially, but that is just her way of testing your confidence to see if you really are a confident guy. If you aren't a very confident guy right now, don't worry – your confidence will build rapidly when you see that just by assuming that you're good enough for a woman, most of the women that you meet will show instant interest in you. Don't focus on the ones who are currently too confident for you. You will build the confidence to handle those women very soon. Just start the process of being confident with women by assuming that you're good enough and then watch to see that most women feel attracted to your confidence. Practicing to Assume Rapport and Attraction You can practice assuming that you have the rapport, acceptance and attraction of a woman as you go through your everyday life. 67 For example: The next time you interact with a woman that you find attractive, such as a checkout girl at the supermarket, a friend of a friend, a bartender or a coworker that you have a crush on, just assume that she already likes you and is happy to be talking and interacting with you. Talk and behave as though you are already great friends with her, rather than trying to make a good impression before you feel like you will get her acceptance and approval. When you assume the acceptance of others, you will be simply amazed at how women and people in general respond to you. People see you as being a cool guy and are able to immediately get along with you, compared to how awkward it is to talk to the majority of other people who hope to eventually gain the approval and acceptance of others after sucking up to them by putting on an act of being nicer and more polite than they actually are or want to be. When you simply assume that you are liked and accepted, it automatically makes you display the type of confidence that people find attractive and appealing. 68 What is Confidence? Confidence is the opposite of insecurity. While confidence is about believing in yourself and feeling certain, insecurity is all about doubting yourself and feeling uncertain. Let's have a look at the dictionary definitions of confidence and insecurity: Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities. Self-reliance, self-assurance, certainty. Insecurity (noun): Lack of confidence or assurance. Self- doubt, uncertainty, instability. When you are confident, the belief that you have in yourself causes you to experience feelings of certainty and stability, which is attractive to women because it makes them feel safe around you. When a woman is around a guy who is insecure, she feels unsafe because he doesn't seem like the type of guy who could remain strong if life got challenging. 69 Life feels more uncertain and unstable with a guy who is insecure, compared to a guy who is confident and who seems like he would be able to handle the challenges of life. Of course, the insecure guy might be great at remaining strong in other areas of his life and only lack confidence around women, but her instincts don't care that. A woman's instinct is to find a guy who is already confident around her now, rather than accepting a guy who is insecure now and then hoping that changes later on or is very confident in other areas of life and can make her feel safe because of that. It's just like how a man's instinct is to find a healthy, pretty looking woman to plant his seed in, rather than accepting an unhealthy, unattractive woman and then hoping that she somehow changes later on. Men don't go chasing after unhealthy, unattractive women because our natural instinct is to breed health and beauty into the offspring, which will then make them better survivors. Likewise, women don't go chasing after nervous, insecure guys because their instinct is to breed courage 70 and emotional toughness into the offspring, which will then make them better survivors. Even though men and women don't think about the survival strength of their potential offspring when they are first interacting with each other, they can't turn off the natural instincts that actually drive their attraction. This is why a woman might go around saying that she doesn't like bald guys or guys who don't have six pack abs, but she will then hook up with a confident bald guy with a belly. She can talk about superficial things all day, but what matters the most to her instincts are the deeper attraction triggers that are linked to her survival and the survival of any offspring that her and a guy may have if they hooked up. So, rather than wasting time worrying about whether or not you look good enough on the surface for a woman, just make her feel attracted to the all-important trait of confidence by assuming that you're good enough for her. By the way… 71 While it's essential to assume that you're good enough for a woman, don't make the classic mistake of becoming arrogant, rude or indifferent towards women in an attempt to show them that you think you're good enough. You don't need to go that far with it. Just relax, assume that you're good enough and attract her by displaying additional attractive traits, such as humor, masculinity, charm and charisma. Ultimately, the type of confidence that you need to develop to be truly successful with women is a relaxed, easygoing confidence, rather than an arrogant, macho type of confidence. It's good to be assertive and emotionally tough, but make sure that you are lighthearted and easygoing as well. In other words, don't try to be loud or macho to show women that you are confident. Just relax and let women see your confidence based on the fact that you don't feel like you need to prove anything to them. 72 You already know that you're good enough and are just talking to them, building up their attraction, connecting with them and will then move it forward. You're not one of the insecure guys who think that they need to be loud, macho or put on a big show to hopefully prove their confidence to women. Confident, good guy alpha males don't need to put on an act like that at all. They just relax and know that they are good enough, without needing to show off or prove it to anyone. So, just relax, be confident and know that you are automatically making the woman feel attracted simply by assuming that you're already good enough for her and being able to talk to her without fear as a result. You're not acting like you're better than her, or like you're better than everyone else because that's the sort of thing that insecure guys do. You're not like that. Instead, you are just relaxed, confident and easygoing because you know that you don’t need to put on a big 73 show to make women feel naturally attracted to your confidence. When women sense that type of relaxed, self-assured confidence in you they will naturally feel attracted to you, but they will also test you. Some women are easier than others and they will show you lots of interest simply based on your relaxed confidence. However, most hot women will test your confidence to see if you're just putting on an act of being confident to trick them into feeling naturally attracted to you. To pass her tests, just smile, relax and continue to believe in yourself no matter what she says or does to try to reduce your confidence. When you do that, you will see that women are more attracted and interested in you and will want to hook up with you to be your lover or girlfriend. Getting positive reactions from women like that will naturally make you feel more confident because confidence is essentially about having belief in yourself. 74 However, you can't go from being insecure and doubting yourself around women to confident if you're not willing to start assuming that you're good enough and then experiencing the results that come with that. Assuming that you are good enough for a woman is a leap of faith that you need to take in the confidence building process. Just like you trust that when you press a gas pedal or accelerator it will make the car move, you've also got to trust that when you begin to assume that you're good enough, it will make you display the type of confidence that women find attractive. When you begin to assume rapport and attraction, you will see how easy it is to attract women by displaying that type of confidence, which will make you feel more confident in your ability to attract women. It just keeps building and building until you get to a point where you know that you are attractive to women. You know that as soon as you start interacting with a woman, you are able to begin sparking and building on her feelings of attraction simply based on your relaxed, self-assured confidence. 75 However, if you stop yourself from assuming that you're good enough for a woman, she will then begin to notice your self-doubt and she will naturally feel turned off by you. So, the first step in building your confidence around women is to assume that you're good enough and then notice the positive reactions that you get from women. From there, you will have a growing belief in your ability to naturally attract women, which will then result in the feelings of certainty that come with confidence. If you think about what the dictionary definition of confidence is, it's: Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities. Self-reliance, self-assurance, certainty. So, unlike other guys who constantly doubt themselves when talking to an attractive woman, you will constantly believe in yourself and as a result, you will naturally display the type of confidence that is attractive to women. 76 2. Masculine Men are the masculine version of the human species and women are the feminine version. Of course, there are some very masculine lesbians out there, but they are still women at the end of the day and will never be as masculine as you are on the inside. You are a man, so by default, you are more masculine than all other women, regardless of how big and strong they might be, such as a female wrestler or a female MMA fighter. You are more masculine than any woman because you are masculine at your core and nothing that any woman says or does on the surface can ever beat that. So, don't ever doubt your masculinity around a woman. You are the man. End of story. 77 Masculinity Defined Let's have a look at the definitions of masculinity vs. femininity. Masculinity (noun): The quality of being masculine. Traits traditionally considered being characteristic of a male. Behaving in ways considered typical for men. Femininity (noun): The quality of being feminine. Traits traditionally considered being characteristic of a female. Behaving in ways considered typical for women. So, just like confidence is the opposite of insecurity, masculinity is the opposite of femininity. Essentially, the less feminine you think, feel, talk and behave in life, the more masculine you will be and the more attractive you will be to women. In other words, don’t copy the feminine behavior and thinking of women. Don't act like them, don't talk like them and don't try to copy their body language to get along with them. 78 Let women experience your masculinity by thinking, feeling, talking, moving and taking action like a man. Passing a Woman's Tests of Your Masculinity Women will often test to see how real your masculinity is by saying that you shouldn't be so masculine. For example: Telling you to cross your legs if you're sitting on a couch with your legs open like a man, or saying that you need to be more emotionally sensitive rather than seeming so unaffected by a particular topic of conversation. If you fall for her test and then suppress your masculinity to be more feminine like a woman, the woman will instantly lose respect and attraction for you because she was able to dominate you and get you to stop being masculine with just a few words. Women don't want to be able to dominate you and prevent you from being masculine. They want you to embrace your masculinity and laugh at or ignore any attempts that women make to get you to think, feel, move or behave like a woman. 79 So, rather than suppressing your masculinity when women test you, you can either just laugh because you think it's funny that they would want that, or ignore it and keep doing whatever you want. Alternatively, you can also turn the test around back on her in a joking way. For example: If a woman tells you to cross your legs, rather than sitting with them open like a man does, you can say, "Okay then… well, you come over here and sit down here with your legs open like a man. Don't sit like a woman and cross your legs. Sit down here like a man." If she then tests you again by saying that you're being sexist, just laugh and say that she is being sexist by telling you to not sit like a man. If you want to be nice to her in that moment, you can also explain why a man sits with his legs open rather than closing them like a woman. For example, you might say, "A man needs to give his balls some space to breathe, whereas a woman doesn't want to give the impression to men that she is openly inviting them to get in between her legs." 80 If she is the type of woman who likes a very confident, masculine guy, you can also just smile at her and confidently say, "I'll sit however the heck I want." All of what I'm saying there is not meant to be said in an angry, mean or rude manner. You're saying it in a lighthearted, easygoing way where you're being relaxed and confident. You're not being aggressive, but you are being masculine and you're not going to suppress your masculinity and start thinking, behaving, acting and talking like a woman to try to get along with them. Here's what you need to remember… Women don't actually want you to fall for their tests and take them so seriously in moments like that. Almost all of the tests that women put you through only deserve a laugh, you turning it into a joke, turning the joke on her or even just ignoring her and not paying attention to it at all. What most guys on this planet don't know is that women hate it when guys take them so seriously and submit to all their fake demands. 81 There's nothing wrong with listening to what a woman says or even following her direction at times, but what I'm talking about here are the random tests that women put guys through to test their masculinity. For example: A woman might say, "OMG…why are you wearing those shoes with those pants. You need to change them. They don't match." A guy who lacks masculinity will say, "Oh, really. I didn't know. How embarrassing. What shoes should I be wearing with these pants?" On the other hand, a masculine man would say with a smile and in an easygoing, lighthearted manner, "Your fashion sense sucks" because he doesn't take the random, unimportant things that women say so seriously. Even though the masculine guy might take her advice and wear different shoes the next time he wears those pants, he's not going to be pushed into immediately stressing out about fashion like women do. He knows that by not stressing out about what she thinks of his shoes, she will actually find him more attractive because he is displaying the type of 82 confidence and masculinity that women naturally find attractive. When she feels attracted to his confident and masculine reaction, it will usually then cause her to smile in a girly way and say something like, "Actually, I like those shoes on you now, but if another guy wore them it just wouldn't work." Why does she change her opinion like that? Simple. She is attracted to him now, so she will look at him in a more positive light and will like things that she normally wouldn't. That's what attraction does to people. Guys do the same thing. For example: Most guys want a beautiful, intelligent, down to Earth, trustworthy, reliable woman who isn't going to be showing her naked body to lots of men every night. Yet, when a guy is sitting in front of a sexy stripper who may not be very intelligent or reliable, all of his usual requirements for a girlfriend suddenly seem less important than they ever did. 83 Based on the sexual attraction that he is feeling for her, he will try to convince himself that they might be a great couple if she could quit her job as an exotic dancer. He will look at her in a positive light and think, "She's nice…she's not like the other strippers. This girl is special. I think that if I could get her to quit her job, we could be in a great relationship" and he might then begin to imagine her quitting her job and being his girlfriend. That's what attraction does to people. Women get affected by attraction in the same way that we men do. For example: A woman might go around saying that she would only date a guy who knows how to correctly match the right shoe color with his pants, but if she feels very attracted to a guy as he interacts with her, the attraction that she feels for him will make her look at his unique style in a more positive light. She might secretly think that she'll get him to change his fashion sense later on, but her attraction is telling her to hook up with him right now. 84 Likewise, a guy might be thinking that he will get the stripper to quit her job and go exclusive with him, but he's not worried about that right now. Attraction is making him look at her in a positive light and he wants to act on that feeling now. This is why it's important for you to not take the random things that women say to you so seriously. If you stress and worry about what women say or might be thinking, then you're going to be suppressing your masculinity around them. Women want you to be a good guy, but they want you to have balls. They don't want you to be afraid of them. Women also want you to understand that in most cases, they just say random things just for the heck of it, but they don't really care. For example: A might say, "OMG, I don't like bald guys" or, "OMG, I want a guy with six pack abs." If a guy then takes what she's saying seriously and thinks that he needs to have a full head of hair or six pack abs to be able to attract her, she feels instinctively turned off by him because she knows that she's just talking crap. 85 She knows that she really doesn't care much about abs and a full head of hair and if a bald guy with no six-pack approached and made her feel a lot of attraction to his masculinity and confidence, she would actually start to develop a ‘thing’ for bald guys. Suddenly, she will be saying to her girlfriends, "OMG…I'm not usually into bald guys, but this guy is different. He's got a bit of belly too, but I actually think it's cute. Why am I feeling this way? This is weird. I like him." So, why is she feeling that way? It's simple. He's making her feel attracted to things that are much more important than the superficial nonsense that many women go around talking about. Here's the thing… There's nothing wrong with working out at a gym, having a full head of hair, looking good and wearing the right shoes to match with certain pants, but it's nothing that a truly masculine man will waste time worrying about. 86 If a masculine man wants to work out at a gym, he will do it because he wants to do it; he enjoys it, he likes being strong and he likes to stay fit. He's not going to do it to hopefully impress women and finally get a woman to like him. A masculine man approves of himself with or without anyone else's approval. That is an alpha male way of thinking that most guys are uncomfortable with and as a result, most guys fail to express the inner masculinity that women desperately want in a guy. A masculine man knows that he is attractive enough for most women based on his masculinity alone and if he wants to be even more attractive by being funny or charming, he will do that because he enjoys making women feel attracted to him. A masculine man enjoys the vulnerable, excited, attracted, wild or soft look in a woman's eye as she immediately begins to fall in love with him. He enjoys how a woman moans in pleasure and bites her lip in a feminine way as he gives it to her in the bedroom. 87 He enjoys making a woman feel feminine in comparison to his raw masculinity. By raw masculinity, I mean how he thinks, feels, moves, behaves and takes action around her. I'm not talking about superficial masculine things like muscles, height or a square jaw line. There's nothing wrong with having superficial masculine features like muscles, height or a chiseled jawline, but the most powerful type of masculinity comes from within a man. Your inner masculinity is based on how you think, which then affects how you feel, talk, move, behave and take action in life and around her. So, if a woman complains about the color of masculine man's shoes not matching his pants, he's not going to freak out about it. He might take the feedback on board and if she is right, he will get another pair of shoes that match better. Alternatively, if he decides that she is just being silly about her comments on his fashion sense, he won't care 88 about her opinion and will playfully make fun of her for having a horrible fashion sense. She will see that he makes his own decisions and doesn't get pushed around by women in the hopes of impressing women for being a good little boy. He is respectful towards women, he is a good guy and he is fun to talk to, but he's not like other guys who stress and worry when women say random things during a conversation. He knows that his confidence and masculinity attracts most women by default, so any nonsense that they try to mess with him about will simply cause them to feel more attracted to him when they see that he isn't worried. So, when you are going through The Flow with a woman, the way to show masculinity is based on how you think, feel, talk, behave and take action around her. Be respectful towards her, but also let her see that you're not intimidated by her and nothing that she says or does around you causes you to suppress your masculinity. 89 Be respectful towards her, but also let her see that you're not intimidated by her and nothing that she says or does around you causes you to suppress your masculinity. Being masculine is not about being macho and trying to act tough around women or people in general. Instead, you just need to relax and know that no matter what a woman says or does, you are still the man. That's how a woman wants it to be anyway, so don't deprive of her of that. You will not be doing yourself or a woman any favors by suppressing your masculinity to be more neutral or feminine around her. Be a good guy, have fun and have a good time, but don't ever forget that your masculinity is much more sexually attractive to women than any neutral or feminine thing that you might say or do around her. Let her see and feel your masculinity in how you think, talk, feel, behave and take action in life and around her. Don't try to show off to her in the hope of impressing her with your masculinity. 90 Just be masculine and not worry about what she may or may not be thinking. When she picks up on the fact that you are being masculine and don't need her approval or signs of interest to make you feel comfortable about being masculine, she will feel a deep, instinctive attraction for you that will make her feel feminine, girly and drawn to you like a magnet. 3. Funny Have you ever heard a woman say something like, “I love a guy who can make me laugh” or, "I like a guy with a sense of humor" when describing her perfect guy? Women all over the world say things like that and it's pretty obvious why a woman wants to have a funny guy as her lover, boyfriend or husband. With a funny guy, she is going to experience pleasurable emotions and feel much happier than she would with a guy who can’t make her laugh. Yet, not all humor makes women feel attracted and turned on. 91 For example: If a guy is acting like a fool or being goofy to get people laughing at him in the hopes that they will like him and accept him, a woman isn't going to feel attracted and turned on by him because it shows a lack of confidence and self-approving masculinity. Of course, there's nothing wrong with goofing around at times with friends, but it's not the type of humor that will make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on by you. The type of humor that gets a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on is what I call, Playfully Arrogant Humor. This type of humor isn't about being sincerely arrogant, but playfully arrogant. You're not actually being an arrogant guy, but you are simply pretending to be arrogant and that is what's funny. The reason why women find it attractive is that it takes confidence and social intelligence to use humor that. Playfully Arrogant Humor is the type of humor that late night TV talk show hosts use because it's the type of 92 humor that makes the majority of people like you and enjoy interacting with you. When you use Playfully Arrogant Humor, women feel instinctively attracted to your social intelligence for being able to use that type of cool, well-liked, well- respected type of humor that most other guys don't have the confidence or social intelligence to use. A woman may not ever label this type of humor as being playfully arrogant, but she will instinctively react to it with feelings of attraction. I just want to point out though that this isn't about being sincerely arrogant or standoffish. It's just about being playfully arrogant and pretending to be arrogant to make the interaction funnier and more interesting, enjoyable and unpredictable for both of you. The dictionary definition of arrogant is: Arrogant (adjective): Having an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. Offensive display of superiority or self-importance over other people. Overbearing pride in oneself. 93 In other words, if a man is sincerely arrogant, he will go through life thinking that he is better than everyone else and that he deserves all the best things in life, but other people don't. He will feel as though anything that he thinks, says or does is way more important or superior to other people. There's nothing wrong with having confidence in yourself, but when it gets to the point where a man is looking down on everyone else, he then becomes arrogant. Of course, some arrogant men do go onto succeed in life and with women, but they are also disliked by most of the people they meet. To be successful in life and with women, you don't have to be arrogant or look down on anyone. The most effective way to approach life is to be a confident, masculine good guy who respects himself, but also respect and cares about other people. So, when you use Playfully Arrogant Humor, it's not about being mean or disrespectful. 94 You still remain being a good guy, but you're pretending to be arrogant so you can have a laugh together and make the interaction more enjoyable and exciting. Here's an example of Playfully Arrogant Humor: You're talking to a woman who is already attracted to your confidence and masculinity. Based on her feelings of attraction for you, she starts to look at other things about you in a positive light and then says, "Nice shirt by the way…it really suits you." At this point, most guys will just say, "Thanks" and then talk about the shirt, where they bought it, what material it is and possibly even how much it costs to hopefully impress the woman. Yet, by responding in that way, the guy misses out on a perfect opportunity to spice things up, get the woman laughing and make her feel even more attracted than before. So, if she says, "Nice shirt by the way…it really suits you," to be playfully arrogant you can smile and say, "Yeah, I know…I look pretty damn handsome in this." 95 An alternative response would be, "I know…I could wear a garbage bag and it would look good on me. I make everything look good. You look twice as hot now that you're standing next to me." She will be fine about you being playfully arrogant like that because you will smile and let her see that you're joking by your tonality and facial expression. If you are a very confident guy and can handle the social pressure in moments like that, you can also not smile initially to let her feel shocked that you might be saying it for real. She will then look at you with a, "WTF?" type of facial expression and you can then smile and have a laugh with her to ease the built up tension. Here's an example of Playfully Arrogant Humor: Imagine that you're talking to a woman and she is feeling attracted to your confidence and masculinity. She then asks you, "So, do you have a girlfriend?" Most guys will respond in a serious, straightforward manner and answer her question with a, "No" or, "No, 96 I'm single at the moment, how about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" There's nothing wrong with answering a woman's question in a straightforward manner, but if you want to use what she is saying to make her feel more sexually attracted and turned on, you can always rely on Playfully Arrogant Humor to spice things up. If a woman asks, "So, do you have a girlfriend?" you can then pretend to be arrogant and say, "Why? Do you want to take me out on a date?" If she then laughs and says, "No, I was just asking" you can smile and playfully give her a look that suggests you think she is lying and say, "Yeah right…I see the way that you've been looking at me." When she laughs, you can then add in, "I see the way that you've been undressing me with your eyes. I feel exposed and vulnerable standing here in front of you. You’re very forward, aren't you?" You and her can then have a laugh together about that because she will see that you're being playfully arrogant and you're not being fully serious about it. 97 Of course, it would arrogant for you to seriously think like that, but because you're only joking around, a woman will laugh and like you even more because you have the confidence and social intelligence to create a moment like that, rather than just going along with normal, polite chit chat like other guys do. She is simply asking if you have a girlfriend and, in a playfully arrogant way, you assume that of course she is asking that because she'd like to go out on a date with you and be your girlfriend. Being playfully arrogant instantly shows a woman that you're not like other guys who are always on their best behavior to hopefully get a chance with her. Of course, you should still treat her well and be a good guy, but there's no need to suck up to women by acting nicer than you actually are. Women appreciate it when they meet a guy who isn't worried about whether she loses interest in him or not. He is confident in who he is and isn't afraid to risk saying things that other guys fear would result in rejection. The mere fact that you have the balls to say things like that will often make a woman feel enough sexual 98 attraction to want to kiss you, have sex with you and be your girlfriend. Women have a really difficult time finding a guy who isn't putting on a nice guy act or using a drunken sleazy approach. It's next to impossible for most women to find a good guy who actually has some balls and doesn't feel the need to suck up to her and hope to get a chance with her. Here's another example of Playfully Arrogant Humor: You're talking to a woman who is attracted to you and she asks, "So, do you want to get another drink?" A normal answer would be to say, "Yes" or, "No," but to spice things up with some Playfully Arrogant Humor, you can say, "Another drink? Trying to get me drunk, are you?” When she laughs, you can then add in, "By the way…I'm just letting you know – I'm not sleeping with you tonight…I'm not that easy. You'd have to take out for 3 or 4 dates and wine and dine me before I let you hold my hand." A woman will almost always laugh and say that she's not trying to get you drunk, or she will try to switch it around 99 and say that it's you who is hoping that she gets drunk, so you get to sleep with her. If she says anything like that, you can just smile and say, "Yeah okay, I believe you" in a way that suggests you don't believe her. Women find that kind of playful arrogance funny because it's usually women who are that confident in their sex appeal around men. Of course, if she is the type of woman who wants a very confident guy as a boyfriend, she might act as though she isn't impressed or act like she is offended or shocked by what you're saying. She will do that to see if you back away from the joking around and start apologizing because you fear that you've stepped across some imaginary line. However, if you simply don't take the situation seriously and just relax and laugh it off, the woman will feel even more attracted to you. She won't be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to your confidence, masculinity and playfully arrogant sense of humor. 100 The way that a woman will feel attracted to you in that moment is similar to how you can't fully stop yourself from feeling attracted to a woman's cleavage when it's on display. You might act like you don't notice her boobs, but your attraction towards her cleavage will cause you keep sneaking a peek at her tits whenever you can and you may even begin to imagine grabbing them, dipping your face into them or thinking about what they'd look like if she was riding on top of you during sex. The same goes for women. She feels naturally attracted to certain personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities in a guy and when that feeling of attraction is triggered, she can't fully stop herself from feeling it. She might act like she's not feeling attracted to your masculinity, confidence and playfully arrogant sense of humor, but her attraction will be surging inside and she will begin imagining what it would be like to kiss you and have sex with you. Of course, some women are a lot easier to pick up than others and when you start to attract them in this way, 101 they will be all over you, touching you, hugging you and saying that they like you. However, if you are interacting with a woman who requires a higher th

The Flow PDF: Attract Women, Improve Relationships

Document Details

Tags

Related

Summary

Full Transcript

Upgrade to continue