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1 Setting the Stage The “I-Thou” Therapeutic Relationship...

1 Setting the Stage The “I-Thou” Therapeutic Relationship Respect is basic and essential to any positive human interaction. We all need and seek it. And yet, respect seems often to be lacking in a deeply harmful way in our world, our homes, our workplaces, and our communi- ties. This phenomenon is often overlooked in therapy. We, who are in the mental health field, need to take a harder, more deliberate look at how we can best facilitate our clients establish the awareness and skills necessary to get it back. We find examples of the lack of respect in the everyday lives of many of our clients, such as apathy in communication and listening skills in many relationships, serious disregard for the feelings of others, meanness in speech, or violent communication, as well as violent actions and abuse. The connections among these various levels of disrespectful behavior often seem to be understudied and therefore not addressed fully. In this chapter, we focus on these connections and the patterns they create to better understand the powerful strength of intervention respect can have as well as the danger and malignancy disrespect, unrecognized and untreated, imposes. Respect is not only a noun but is also, and more powerfully, an active verb, requiring an intentional action of some sort. It can be as small as making eye contact with a pleasant smile or greeting or not interrupting someone speaking—simply good manners or polite behavior, as many think Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. it to be. But it can be so much more, exceeding form or cordiality, becoming as deep as being tolerant and accepting of others’ behavior or understand- ing of varying human perspectives, such as sexual or cultural differences. Regardless, respect can serve as a healing agent, making every human inter- action work more effectively. Respect-Focused Therapy (RFT) is not a technique or a theoretical model but rather a foundation on which all modalities and techniques used in therapy are, or should be, grounded to produce sound, effective outcomes. For the remainder of this chapter, I will be considering other theoretical approaches as they relate to RFT, how they are supportive through similari- ties, as well as how RFT brings additional perspective, unifying all of these approaches through the lens of respect. Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  2 Setting the Stage The Therapist in the Therapist-Client Relationship What the therapist brings to the therapist-client relationship is vitally impor- tant to the entire process and outcome of therapy. Because of the power disparity between therapist and client, it is easy to slip into the position of judge or parent without intention. Even the smallest biases can get in the way of doing good, effective work, such as regarding physical appearance, dress, hygiene, or language, not to mention parenting or relating styles or what we may consider to be inappropriate behaviors. Our role as therapists inherently contains a certain power that can be too easily forgotten. We are the helpers, the professionals. We have been trained to be empathetic. We have learned skills and techniques. More importantly, the truth is, or should be, that we really do care, or we probably would not have chosen this field. We genuinely want to help alleviate human pain and suffering. It is with this intention that we go forward with this challenging but rewarding work. But the best intentions can be maligned by the pre- sumption that we are indeed fulfilling this appropriately. This presumption can and does often bypass the focus of respect. The act of helping can then unintentionally create imbalance in power or asymmetry. To this point, respect can become the equalizer, or as Lawrence-Lightfoot (2000) put it, respect “creates symmetry” (p. 5). One of the core principles of respect I present in this book is that respect in its truest form is not hier- archical; it is lateral and genuine and thereby most effective in creating real change. It is freely given, not demanded or fear based. This directly chal- lenges one of the more widely assumed aspects of respect: that it is reserved for elders or authority. This assumption leaves out a large section of human- ity, namely, all of those who do not have power or authority over others, including children. In undergraduate school, I was required to write a senior-year thesis in psychology. I chose to do a phenomenological study of the nature of helping behavior, particularly as it related to the level of acceptability of the way the help was presented to the persons being helped. The two groups I studied were persons with physical disabilities and persons without obvious dis- Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. abilities. It was particularly interesting to me that the nondisabled popula- tion found it harder to accept help than the disabled population did but just as notable, and perhaps more significantly to the point being made here, is that the factor that made help most acceptable to both groups was the feel- ing of equality with the helper. Condescension of any form made the help less desirable to those being helped. Being treated or perceived as helpless or inferior in any way most often was the cause of refusal of help. As therapists, as human beings in this role, we need to remind ourselves always of our humanity, our own frailties, woundedness, triggers, biases, and perceptions of the world at large. The respect we have, or don’t have, for ourselves is critical to how we find and build respect for our clients. Self-care, then, is a mandatory piece of the puzzle in the quality of care that Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 3 we give to our clients. Our physical and mental well-being contribute heav- ily to our ability to be fully present and separate in a way that gives us the maximum capacity to openly respect the total uniqueness of the person(s) sitting in front of us. If we genuinely have respect for our unique selves, we are much more available to have it for others. There will be a more in- depth discussion about how to gain and maintain this kind of self-care and real respect for oneself in the last chapter of this book, but from this point forward, please keep in mind that you are key in the entire process and development of RFT. Mindfulness and Respect With this self-awareness, it is important to be consistently mindful that the positive aspect of helping is evident when it is acknowledged as truly being helpful in a way that is wanted and balanced. By really listening to our desired path and outcome in therapy, we increase our ability to actually help in a much more significant way. In recent years, much has been written and researched regarding mindful- ness in therapy, as studied through the lenses interpersonal neurobiology and neural integration (Siegal, 2010). Mindfulness is about being fully aware in the present, both of self and others. It also includes “being open minded and avoiding premature closure of possibilities” (Langer, as cited in Siegal, 2010, p. 20) as well as “being aware, on purpose and nonjudgmentally, of what is happening, as it is happening in the present moment” (p. 20). All three definitions complement the meaning of respect as presented in this work, although they stop short of addressing the valued totality of others as well as self. Allan Schore (2012) states, “Relational-affective processes between patient and therapist are at the core of the change mechanism. Indeed, a large body of basic research in clinical psychology on the therapeutic alli- ance is supporting a shift from a purely intrapsychic one-person psychology to a relational two-person psychology” (p. 10). I would submit that the Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. work of Carl Rogers, which precedes this work, researched and postulated similar findings and therefore is foundational to it. Being aware of one’s nervous system status and how this affects and is affected by others’ nervous systems have been covered extensively by the likes of Allan Schore and Dan Siegel, yet very little has been written spe- cifically on the topic of respect as a central agent of change at both non- conscious and conscious levels in the therapeutic process. The practice of mindfulness-based therapy and the practice of RFT share parallels within the brain and might at first seem hard to distinguish, but there are sub- stantial differences. The primary operational difference between the two approaches is that respect takes the affective focus of mindfulness to a new level by providing a cognitive template that seeks to realize that which is Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  4 Setting the Stage positive in self and others. Although this search for the positive might at first seem like a hearkening to Seligman’s positive psychology, RFT is inherently focused on relationships with self and others, whereas positive psychology tends to focus on frame of mind and thus is not generally regarded as being relationally oriented. Respect Versus Empathy The etymology of the word respect is respectare or respicere (Latin deriva- tion), meaning “to look again.” To take another look, to reconsider, is to respect. In other words, to respect is to respond in a way that can create affirmation rather than dissent. It requires us to be willing to stand back, take another look, and reconsider that which is around us as well as inside of us. This reconsideration involves both cognitive and emotional process- ing, which take in the entirety of person, not just the presenting portion that is in front of us. In doing this, we can more effectively connect and build value in ourselves, in others, and in our world. Empathy is derived from the Greek en patheos, which means “in feel- ing.” Therefore, empathy is about shared understanding of emotion. This is a critical component in any therapeutic environment, requiring both learned skill and an innate human quality in the therapist. Experience is probably the best teacher of empathic understanding because it is so based in emotive connection, requiring vulnerability. We know that empathy is one of the most highly researched components of psychotherapy, yet still it is debated in terms of being more or less significant in the healing process as compared to specific technique or modality (Patterson, 1984). Respect, conversely, has been much less researched in our field, even though Marie Jahada, (1958) (as cited by Hymer, 1987) recognized it as being “one of the major criteria for mental health” (p. 6). Dr. Sharon Hymer, one of a few to directly address the role of respect in psychotherapy, went on to say, “There have only been a few investigations of how therapists foster or impede the development of respect in psychotherapy. Respect concerns Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. how we look at our patients and takes into account their uniqueness” (p. 6). Respect can expand the therapist’s understanding of the client’s experiential knowledge based on previous life events. Furthermore, according to Dr. Ana Maria Rizzuto (1993), “[R]espect is naturally presumed to be a component of the therapeutic relationship. Therapists, however, need to go beyond the everyday understanding of respect and be prepared to provide a dimension that we do not expect to find in other human relations” (p. 277). She emphasized that respect is “the act of noticing with attention” (p. 277). Respect encompasses empathy, requiring it to exist, yet goes far beyond empathy because it includes cognitive as well as affective understanding. Respect is a comprehensive understanding of a complete individual, includ- ing values, beliefs, culture, life experience, and the understanding and Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 5 interpretation of that experience. Empathy is essential in establishing a con- nection to be built on, but respect carries that connection deeper and wider. To be clear, respect without empathy would be hollow, mechanical, and academic at best so that both must exist to firmly establish trust as well as connection. Feminist Psychology The feminist movement in the 1960s and 1970s had a profound impact on the culture of male dominance and, more significantly, on the empowerment of women. Although it certainly did not eradicate sexism, it did shine a bright light on the darker qualities of unfairness and inequality between the sexes, which opens doors for reevaluation of gender roles and their values in our society. As the feminist movement grew, it found new ground in psycho- therapy as therapists found a new voice and determined ways to bring this voice into their work and share it with their clients. This shift in gender role assessment also led the way toward an even larger paradigm shift, which became inclusive of a wider definition of power disparity. Dr. Laura Brown (2014) summarizes the development in feminist therapy in this way: Feminist Therapy is a theory that derives its inspiration and its wisdom from an in-depth interrogation of standpoints that are unavailable to dominant cultural simply because they have been relegated to the mar- gins; the standpoints of Euro American women, people of color, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, gender variant people, poor people, people with disabilities, immigrants and refugees. This radical stance of listening more to the marginalized, or weaker voice, was not initially well received by mainstream psychology and still is primar- ily practiced by feminists, although the tenets of inclusion have been more normalized over the decades. Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. However, Brown goes further by establishing the fact that feminist ther- apy is not only inclusive of the marginalized but “privileges” or centers focus on the nondominant voice of wisdom. Feminist therapy does not simply study the “other” in order to offer a neutral perspective on that experience. Rather, what is inherent in Feminist Therapy theory is the radical notion that silenced voices of marginalized people are considered to be the sources of the greatest wisdom. (Brown, 2014) The very notion that the persons least recognized become instead most valued by the process indicates an intention to reassess human worth and Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  6 Setting the Stage dignity not based on social norms, as is noted biblically as “the last shall be first and the first last.” Again, respect is utilized to “reconsider” that which might not be apparent in other circumstances. Yet this primary shift in perspective serves to clarify and enrich the very meaning of human experience. Vulnerability and Shame Dr. Brene Brown (2013) has recently done interesting research on vulner- ability and shame. She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emo- tional exposure” (p. 34). She further says, Vulnerability is also the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountabil- ity, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path. (p. 34) Therefore, as difficult and uncomfortable as vulnerability may be, to risk emotional exposure, it is ultimately strength in being human and being open to real feelings and greater connection. We are most honored by clients who allow us into their place of vulnerability, and in turn, we need to honor them back by fully acknowledging their courage and their pain. Of course, the difficult thing about being vulnerable is the fear of being shamed for it or by it. When you put out your naked real self, you lose your defense cover, making yourself more susceptible to the possibil- ity of being shamed, which many of our clients are already too familiar with. The experience of being shamed by others often leads to internal shame, which is what therapists predominantly are charged to assist in repairing. About shame, Brown (2013) suggests the way to dismantle it: “If we Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. cultivate enough awareness about shame to name it and speak to it, we’ve basically cut it off at the knees. Shame hates having words wrapped around it. If we speak shame, it begins to wither” (p. 58). Thus, our job seems to be about honoring vulnerability while helping give voice to, name, and call out the shame for the purpose of depowering it, not adding to it. We may not like or accept everything our clients do or say, but it is our ethical responsibility to honor them as fellow human beings, not to shame them further. As unintentional as this may be, we need to be ever vigilant and more purposeful to avoid creating additional shame because of the blind trust and heightened vulnerability our clients bring to us in the therapeutic process. Consistently mindful of this built-in authority or power, we have to use it with wisdom and great care in this unusually fragile relationship. Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 7 Humanistic Existentialism Mental health diagnoses can also get in our way of respecting the whole person because we may consider persons who have the more complex or challenging ones, such as bipolar disorder, chemical addiction, or border- line personality disorder, as being primarily defined by that diagnosis and to be more difficult or bothersome because of it. We, too, are human and subject to our own biases, but we need to keep a close check on them, as they may have subtle, or not so subtle, negative impacts on the therapeutic process. Regarding this problem with mental health diagnoses, Yalom (2014) gives a very clear example: What? “Borderline patients play games?” That is what you said? Ernest, you’ll never be a real therapist if you think like that. That’s exactly what I meant earlier when I talked about the dangers of diagnosis. There are borderlines and there are borderlines. Labels do violence to people. You can’t treat the label; you have to treat the person behind the label. (p. 17) Humanistic existential therapy has its roots from the mid-20th century, most notably from the works of Yalom and May, and is based in great part on the works of Kierkegaard, philosopher and theologian from the 1800s. Daniel Pitchford (2009) describes existential therapy this way: The purpose of existential therapy is to confront the anxieties of daily living and create meaning from and connectedness to lived experi- ences.... The personal responsibility of existential therapists is to understand their clients’ anxieties and experiences and to guide them through their struggles. (p. 441) May was influenced by Kierkegaard’s discussions of “fear of nothingness” Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. or death or lack of meaning and purpose. Hence, his focus in therapy was to “guide” clients toward their own meaning and truth. This meant that truth is individually subjective and should be understood in that context. The concept of subjective meaning hits at the very heart of RFT. To not have preformulated truths, but to allow for other’s truths to exist concur- rently, yet separately from your own, is essential to fully respect, as we will see through the works of Buber and Rogers. The “I-Thou” Relationship and Unconditional Regard RFT is largely couched in the works of Martin Buber and Carl Rogers. Martin Buber, a Hasidic Jewish theologian and philosopher who wrote from the early 1900s and throughout the majority of that century, wrote a classic Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  8 Setting the Stage piece of literature called I and Thou. In this writing, Buber (1987) contrasts the “I-Thou” relationship with the “I-It” relationship. In describing the dif- ference between “Thou” and “It,” Buber said, “ ‘It’ is bounded by others; ‘it’ exists only through being bounded by others. But when ‘Thou’ is spo- ken, there is nothing. ‘Thou’ has no bounds” (p. 4). In looking at the complexity of relationships, Buber not only looks at to what or whom I relate but, more importantly, how I relate to the other per- son. If I treat another as an “It,” an object of my need or perception, I put limitations on that individual, objectifying him or her rather than experienc- ing another human being. This objectification stems from one’s own needs, wants, prejudices, or other agendas. To be open to the Thou experience is much more risky in the sense that one relinquishes control in the relationship, allowing the other to be truly and completely other, separately whole, not in any way scripted by one’s expectations. As rare an experience as Buber said this is, it is perhaps the most freeing to suspend all preconception and design to observe and absorb another’s reality untainted by one’s own. To be sure, it takes emotional courage, energy, and strength to be able to make oneself so vulnerable, so candidly emotionally exposed to another’s humanity. Therapists are real people who have real limits on this kind of courage and strength, but as much as humanly possible, we owe it to our clients and to ourselves to be truly present in the therapeutic relationship, permitting ourselves to be openly available to the I and the Thou in per- haps the most intensely critical, transforming interchange for our clients. Although the focus is always to be squarely on the well-being of the client, we can also be evolving forward in this process. It has been my experience that the more practiced I become in allowing myself to enter this kind of relationship, the more inviting and less daunting it becomes. In this way, we can better model for parents how not to make their chil- dren objects of their own hopes or dreams, for partners how not to over- lay their past familial experiences onto their current relationships, or for individuals how not to devalue themselves at their core by someone else’s Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. measures. Nonrecognition of human value, as innocent as it may seem in the moment, as a pattern of behavior emerges, often has manipulative and damaging effects, such as relating to others as sex objects, as objects for economic gain, or simply as objects for power or control. Working with manipulators and abusers is very challenging work, at least for me. To stretch my I-Thou capacity to encompass persons whom I know or experience as being systematically abusive, either passive aggressively or aggressively, I internally squirm at the notion of maintaining any sense of Thou with this person who has no idea what Thou is anyway and doesn’t seem to care. But relating to the Thou is not conditional. Buber said, “Thou have no bounds” (Buber, Martin, & Smith, 1987, p. 4). As difficult as it may be, Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 9 my application of this same approach needs to be consistent. As long as I also maintain and nurture the “I” that is in me, to be healthy and strong, the possibility of being harmed emotionally is minimized. Respecting self as well as other is essential in this entire process. When I am able to keep a solid balance of self and other, permitting my safety while continuing to honor the other, I have a much greater chance at unlocking the real Thou in that other person, not only through my eyes but also through that person’s understanding as well. Adame & Leitner (2009) wrote about “reverence” in therapy in a similar manner as I am presenting the concept of respect. They explained experi- ential personal construct psychotherapy (EPCP) in the following manner: “According to EPCP, one of the highest levels of psychological functioning is the ability to revere another person in a relationship, and the experience of connecting with someone on such an intimate level is healing in and of itself” (p. 253). This underscores the strikingly essential effect of reverence or respect. I see these two words in a parallel way. Although they do not have the exact same meanings, they seem to carry at least similar intent. Reverence has, perhaps, a stronger tone, carrying with it a more spiritual connota- tion. Respect, though, as I see it, has the same potency of meaning with or without spiritual overtones and has more teachable constructs for mutual- ity in everyday practice. Regardless, the points made by this model seem to strengthen the positions of RFT as well. In almost a poetic, very beautiful way, EPCP describes the role of the therapist from the client perspective: Leitner (as cited in Adame & Leitner, 2009) explains, “[R]everence implies awareness that the other is ‘holding my heart respectfully, treating my soul gently, and seeing the decency behind my shame and my retreats from others’ ” (p. 255). In turn, he describes that same interaction from the therapist’s perspective: “We also recognize the profound gift the other person is giving us by trusting us with his or her most central aspects of being, knowing that by doing so we have the choice of either validating or invalidating those essential constructs of ourselves” Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. (p. 255). They build on this notion of gaining a sense of worthiness in the thera- peutic relationship by explaining how the client can become his or her own “active meaning-maker”: In this I-Thou stance, a person is open to the world and engages it as an active meaning-maker.... Thus, within the therapy relationship the cli- ent may become more experientially aware of an array of constructive alternatives previously unknown to him or her. (p. 256) We might have to look a little harder to recall examples of the I-Thou expe- riences in our own lives, but we have them. When I look into the eyes of my Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  10 Setting the Stage nieces and nephews, I frequently experience the I-Thou with them because their love is so simple and basic. We just need to be there to enjoy each other. People who are in love, with any luck, will experience the Thou with their mates at least a handful of times, if not many more, during their journeys together. People who experience God usually report having an I-Thou kind of spiritual experience. Because I-Thou may imply intimacy, it is our job as therapists to cre- ate the environment and the opportunity for just this level of relating to occur, within professional boundaries—no romantic overtones permitted, of course. Furthermore, we need to be willing to open ourselves to this process and initiate the kind of interaction that comfortably invites the client to participate and maybe experience for the first time, or at least at a crucial time, the empowerment of being treated as a Thou rather than an It. If we look for the Thou in others, we are more likely to find it, but it takes trained intentional focus. It also demands of us, as professionals, a certain level of emotional energy and vulnerability, which we typically do not extend beyond our loved ones. Balancing this kind of emotional extension to our clients with good, healthy boundaries, which maintain the therapeutic value of this unique relationship, is paramount. We must be careful to avoid any duality in this relationship, that is, friendship on any social level, romance, or a busi- ness relationship. As artificial or awkward as this might appear to be at first glance, this very structured framework, when based in genuine sincerity, allows for growth and progress for the client and sometimes for the thera- pist as well. If respect means to look again, perhaps it also means the removal of preconceptions, expectations, judgments, or needs, replacing them with a continual willingness to reevaluate or reconsider our assumptions. Perhaps it means allowing for the I-Thou experiences to be uniquely separate and the meaning and value of each to deepen in the relationship. The I-Thou relationship, then, lends itself to the notion of what many call love. In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis (1960), a prolific Christian writer, Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. reinforces these concepts by describing several different kinds of love, including what he calls “Gift Love” and “Need Love.” About the contrast of these two kinds of love, Lewis says, “The typical example of Gift Love would be that love which moves a man to work and save for the future well-being of his family which he will die without sharing or seeing; of the second, that which sends a lonely or frightened child into the arms of his mother!” (p. 63). Gift Love, then, is what therapists have to offer—that love which does not expect any return but is offered only as a conduit for positive change. Respect can only grow out of nurturing positive regard for self and oth- ers. Carl Rogers, a well-known psychotherapist in the 1960s and 1970s, in his most popular book, On Becoming a Person (1991), describes his sense of respect, “unconditional positive regard,” as “a caring, which is not Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 11 possessive. It demands all persons, with permission, to have their own feel- ings and experiences, and to find their own meaning to it” (p. 283). Rogers (1991) articulates beautifully and precisely the very essence of the respect I seek to have with every client: I find that the more acceptance and liking I feel toward this indi- vidual, the more I will be creating a relationship which he can use. By acceptance I mean a warm regard for him as a person of uncondi- tional self-worth—of value no matter what his condition, his behav- ior, or his feelings. It means a respect and liking for him as a separate person, a willingness for him to possess his own feelings in his own way. It means an acceptance of and regard for his attitudes of the moment, no matter how negative or positive, no matter how much they may contradict other attitudes he has held in the past. This acceptance of each fluctuating aspect of this other person makes it for him a relationship of warmth and safety, and the safety of being liked and prized as a person seems a highly important element in a helping relationship. (p. 34) To work with unconditional positive regard means accepting our differ- ences, whatever they might be—race, gender, sexual orientation, disabil- ity, religion, nationality, or any other kind of arbitrary exclusion of others from the opportunity for being experienced positively. This, in fact, is what is known as cultural competency or diversity, which is hugely relevant in today’s world, in all health care, education, business, society, politics, or international affairs. As with other professionals, therapists have an obliga- tion to maintain the highest ethic in this arena of competency. Think about what kind of world we might be able to live in if more teach- ers could have this kind of regard for their students, parents could share it with each of their children, and civic and religious leaders could model it for the groups they represent. We, as therapists, have a unique opportunity Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. to pass forward respectful behavioral and attitudinal perceptual changes by implementing them in this delicate process called therapy. Fortunately, there are emerging models currently that are echoing many of these concerns and needs. In education, there is a relatively new model in academic planning called the Person Centered Plan (Holburn & Vietze, 2002). In the medical field (Ekman et al., 2011), hospitals and nursing homes are starting to consider patient—or person—centered care, which focuses on the goals of each individual patient in their care rather than predetermined, standardized protocols based on diagnoses, set by medical staff. In the legal profession, there is a new program called restorative justice (Zehr, 2015), which speaks to the needs of victims of crimes by address- ing specifically the relationship between victim and perpetrator using social work and therapeutic interventions. Finally, from within the field of mental Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  12 Setting the Stage health, there are innovative movements like recovery mental health and Heart and Soul of Change Project. Person-Centered Planning and Care Similar to and fashioned after Roger’s client-centered approach is a more current trend of person-centered planning and care (Adams & Grieder, 2004), which stretches beyond the field of mental health into education as well as broader health care services. The concept is relatively simple: that the “patient” or “client” or “student” is indeed a person and ought to be fully regarded as such, thereby as fully included in treatment or education planning and goal setting as possible. As straightforward as this may appear, it is indeed a paradigm shift, particularly as it relates to the medical model because that model is premised in the idea that the doctor is the expert and the patient is to follow the doctor’s orders. From within the mental health arena, the shift in power and responsibil- ity from being strictly on the side of the service provider to being shared in partnership with the patient or consumer suggests that not only is this model more desirable for the client’s self-regard; it is actually more effective in creating better outcomes (Zehr, 2015). Recovery Mental Health Recovery mental health incorporates and builds on person-centered plan- ning and care by asserting that the recovery model as used in addiction treatment can be used effectively also with the chronically mentally ill. Again, research is being done by the aforementioned institutions with favor- able results. As cited by Larry Davidson (2014), Phillippe Pinel began the concept of recovery of mental illness in 1794 by saying in a presentation: One cannot ignore a striking analogy in nature’s ways when one com- Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. pares the attacks of intermittent insanity with the violent symptoms of an acute illness. It, in either case, would be a mistake to measure the gravity, to measure the danger, by the extent of the trouble and derange- ment of the vital functions. In both cases a serious condition may fore- cast recovery, provided that one practices prudent management. (p. 729) Pinel went on to say that “to consider madness as a usually incurable ill- ness is to assert a vague proposition that is constantly refuted by the most authentic facts.” And yet those preconceptions, “errors,” and “prejudices,” according to Pinel, the incomprehensibility of the mentally ill, the total per- vasiveness, and the incurability of the illness are still perpetuated today in the traditional medical model (Davidson, Rakfeldt, and Strauss, 2011). Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  Setting the Stage 13 However, recovery is having a resurgence in research and practice. Patricia Deegan (2014), psychologist and advocate of the recovery move- ment, refers to recovery as the “Conspiracy of Hope” because it empowers the person living with mental illness to partner and participate in his or her own treatment. She talks about “personal medicine” as being the steps of self-care, like listening to music to drown out the voices or taking walks to soothe anxiety, that is, having a voice in the entire treatment plan. Recovery is strength based, socially just, and holistic and provides moral treatment. This model utilizes peer specialists who have lived experiences with mental illness but who are also trained to support and advocate for the person in treatment. This helps equalize the power in the therapeutic relationship and creates more room for self-determination for the client. It is important to point out that whereas this model is initially set to assist those with more critical mental illnesses, like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, it can be well utilized by any population because at its base, recovery is about the civil rights of the client and, ultimately, self- determination. To this end, it underscores and validates RFT. Respect for the client as a whole person with strengths and assets as well as weak- ness can indeed help them be more empowered to take responsibilities for improving their own lives. An offshoot of the recovery model is the Heart and Soul of Change Project. Its primary objective is to determine what is perceived as being ben- eficial in an individual’s therapy, according to that person, the client, or the participant, as this model refers to them. Dr. Barry Duncan, founder of this approach, has written several books and articles relating to and explaining its rationale. In his newest book, On Becoming a Better Therapist (2014), he begins by describing the importance of the therapeutic relationship thusly: I have been privileged to witness the irrepressible ability of human beings to transcend adversity—clients troubled by self-loathing and depression, battling alcohol or drugs, struggling with intolerable marriages, terrorized Copyright © 2016. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved. by inexplicable voices, oppressed by their children’s problems, trauma- tized by past or current life circumstances, and tormented with unwanted thoughts and anxieties—with amazing regularity.... Regardless of disci- pline, theoretical persuasion, or career level, they really care about people and strive to do good work. The odds for change when you combine a resourceful client and caring therapist are worth betting on, certainly cause for hope, and responsible for my unswerving faith in psychother- apy as a healing endeavor. (p. 5) However, Duncan points out starkly that we have few real markers for improvement in our work including those we most often rely on: trainings and continuing education in the latest trends in techniques or modalities, Slay-Westbrook, S. (2016). Respect-focused therapy : Honoring clients through the therapeutic relationship and process. Taylor & Francis Group. Created from vuw on 2024-09-23 07:09:19.  14 Setting the Stage personal therapy, or even our experience as clinicians, citing research from a number of clinicians. What Duncan points to as being the best indicator of true improvement is the direct feedback from clients about their own perceptions of their ben- efit from therapy. He has developed an outcome rating scale, which clients fill out after each session, stating how effective they feel that session was in their therapy. Whether one takes to this kind of rating system or not, the point for therapists to grasp is to rely on our clients for the best source of outcome feedback. This reflects the very intention of RFT. RFT, as the presented research indicates, is well supported by previous and contemporary scholars in this field. So far we have examined the thera- peutic relationship as it is the most critical underpinning of this approach. But this is not the totality of what RFT offers. It needs to go beyond the rela- tionship into the heart of the process of therapy to maximize the potential for real and lasting change for our clients. RFT offers something substantially different, beyond much of the previ- ously mentioned research. For the remainder of this book, we will explore the ways in which the therapeutic process can significantly progress as the central theme of respect is brought into the room. 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