Part 1 10-89.pdf

3. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man, PREFACE "Cure" comes from the Latin word "cura," which means care. There can be no cure in this discipline without first caring for the lost or troubled soul sitting before you. If there is no compassion on the part of the counselor, there will be damage to t...

3. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man, PREFACE "Cure" comes from the Latin word "cura," which means care. There can be no cure in this discipline without first caring for the lost or troubled soul sitting before you. If there is no compassion on the part of the counselor, there will be damage to those under his care as the fragile, wounded soul is treated roughly. Care - even if you are unsure of what to do next - simply care and you will be amazed at the power of compassion. Listen intently, for the telling of the story begins the healing. We are about to take a journey into the rewarding and challenging world of ministerial counseling. This work is presented as a reference and guide for the Christian-based counselor. We will examine basic concepts of psychology and guidelines of counseling. We will delve into personality typing in order to quickly identify and classify basic personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses. We will look at the hopes, fears, and motives of the 12 personality types as revealed in the sons of Jacob and tribes of Israel. We will understand how the personality operates and malfunctions. We will find we have one basic motive driving us. It is our reason and our call. It will be our major strength, and, if not balanced and controlled, it will cause our downfall. We will discover how to understand, help, and heal. J. Lurnpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man 2 J. Lumpk in - Healing the Tribes of Man INTRODUCTION As we begin to penetrate the minds and personalities of the twelve tribes, we will see ourselves in them. There will be insights, pain, realization, and sorrow. However, it would be irresponsible to reveal the potentials and deficits of a personality without equipping the person with the tools to forge a path from the dysfunction to the place of true potential. For this reason, part of this work is devoted to the understanding and resolution of problems that may be encountered during the study and subsequent revealing of one's true nature. Please read, study, and ponder the psychological rules and guidelines before subjecting yourself or others to the sometimes-harsh reality of the personality profiles and revelations found in this manual. I encourage you to completely digest this entire book before beginning the task of counseling or self-examination. Confronting a problem without the knowledge of how to handle the issue can exacerbate the situation. Remember, understanding may come in the instant knowledge is revealed, but application and change come only from the repetition of selfdiscipline. Be prepared with the proper tools when you come across something in need of change. Do not go into the forest without your breadcrumbs. To successfully help those under our care, we must address the complete person. The person must be balanced in the areas of his or her spiritual, personal, family, and community views. An incorrect view of God can lead to spiritual weakness. This condition can be as damaging as an 3 #
Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man imbalance of family life or the lack of morality and commitment needed to sustain a marriage. As counselors we must attend to all of these areas. It is no mistake that the New Testament word "save" means to heal. Salvation means to make a person whole, complete, and healthy. Mental health is the absence of all that warps or blights the human personality and prevents full fellowship with God. To restore the soul to health and fellowship with the Lord we must first stop the immediate crisis. This is not the same as stopping the pain or healing the injury. Those they must do on their own in time. It is up to us to provide food, shelter, safety, and hope. Only then do we guide and counsel. JAM 2:15-17 if a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. "Pray about it" and "Read this verse" are not answers. They show no sign of caring or compassion. Listening, understanding, and wise counsel are food and shelter to the destitute soul. A person in pain or panic cannot settle spirit or mind enough to utter anything more than a cry to God. Until they can pray, it is the counselor who should be praying for them. We should pray for their healing and God's guidance as we minister. Prayer should be used to seek and accept the will of God, not to change the mind of Him who is all knowing. We can bring our needs and desires to the Lord in prayer but we should be very cautious about asking God to change His perfect will, as if we know better. The main purpose of prayer is to mold the heart of man to the heart and will of God. In this light, some internal unrest is a good teacher. It shows God is instructing us. Wait, watch, minister, and encourage. God is doing His work as He molds our hearts to His. 
J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man THEOLOGY AND PRACTICAL APPLICATION MAT 5:44-45 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. To become a healthy person there are three areas that must be healthy and balanced. We must have a healthy relationship with God, we must have healthy relationships within our family, and we must have healthy relationships within our community. To have any and all of these, we must first be a mentally and emotionally healthy person. Another definition of mental health is "integration". When all of our psychological parts are fully integrated we are healthy. As we examine the relationship between God and ourselves or our patient, we may find that in the religious community we are often told, "God is in control." With this philosophy and the knowledge that God rewards the good and punishes the evil (or the doubters), we bravely go out to conquer the world. At the first onslaught of fate, many fold up their tents of faith and go home. With the help of counseling and a slight correction in personal philosophy, Iife may become a little more tolerable. For those who have lost the faith, and for those who stand with questions in hand, I offer the answer to Job in one hundred words or less. Our purpose here, as described in most holy books, can be broken down to just two statements: We are here to love. We are here to serve. To 5 3. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man do these things in the truest sense, we must have free will. Love is not love if it is not offered of its own accord, and service is slavery if forced. To have free will, we must be exposed to all of the consequences of all our actions. To be sheltered from some is still to be controlled, even if benevolently. Assuming the acts are the same, an evil act of a good man will have the same effect as the evil act of an evil man. Likewise, a good act of an evil man will have the same result as the good act of a good man. I am not suggesting God is not all-powerful; I am saying with His power He has endowed us with free will. The confusion enters when we neglect to take into account that all wills interact. We are all tied together in the actions and reactions of our decisions and how they affect each other. This dance of timing and types is "the only dance there is? It is the "dance" of personal interaction that makes many theologies taught today so toxic and in error thereby making the common man lost to God completely. Many theologians teach that with enough faith we can protect ourselves and our families from the onslaught of the world. There is a Chinese proverb that states, "The traveler prays for fair skies while the farmer prays for rain." The view of man controlling the actions of others has too many errors to address here, but we will take two points as examples. Let us use a scenario of a man bent on rape or murder. If your faith were to affect his action either directly or through God, it would mean a violation of the man's free will. For love and salvation to work in most theologies, there is a direct need for free will. Even if a man's will is evil it must continue to be free so if he were to repent and turn to God, his decision would also be free and he would be saved. In a second scenario, if your faith and prayers were to simply turn the murderer's hand to someone else, it would mean you had chosen to have someone else hurt or killed instead of you or your family. This is not consistent with the Christian principle of sacrifice for others. 6 J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man What this theology does is give a sense of control. To those who feel out of control, this doctrine and way of thinking may be a salve in the short term, but when something bad or unforeseen happens, the person must blame himself for not having enough faith to prevent the event. The result is failure and blame added to the trauma of the event. That kind of faith is toxic. There are types (personality categories) of people drawn to this theology. Each personality type will have a certain area of theological error the person will have to be careful to avoid. It is important to have a balanced and workable belief system. God IS in control. God IS omnipotent, omnipresent, and He is our savior. He has a plan for our lives. It is up to God to communicate His plan to us. It is up to us to live it in a healthy, loving way. He will reveal it to us in time. First, we must make sure our relationship with God is healthy, and then we must work on being healthy people. Only after that can we hope to and have healthy relationships with others. In this book we will discuss beliefs, personalities, and personal pitfalls. As Christian counselors, we must take into account the individuars personality, environment of family and society, and relationship to God. All of these must be healthy and in balance to produce a healthy person. As we begin to study the personality, we must begin with our society and its effects on the person. ROM 12:4-5 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Paul likened the church to a body. This simile applies equally well to a society. A society could be defined as a group of people living under common laws or sharing a common culture. A society functions as a body working to feed, clothe, educate, and propagate itself. If the body or the 7 J. Lumpk in - Healing the Tribes of Man society is balanced and healthy, it will grow and flourish. If it is not healthy, it will show signs and symptoms of its imbalance, but once symptoms are observed it is too late to prevent the disease. The faster we recognize an event as a symptom, the more likely the disease can be controlled. This is true with diseases of the body as well as social maladies. With a disease in our own bodies, we are likely to feel or observe a symptom. Sicknesses m our society are likely to be ignored until it is too late, unless they affect us directly. So it begins that our society is infected, becomes sick, and worsens to a point we are personally affected before we rise to the challenge of doing something about it. if there is no personal pain, there is usually no impetus to act. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a preventative of social disease. Salvation is the only cure. Once the knowledge of Christ and communion with God through Him is impaired, the social equivalent of the immune system is compromised and the society is open to malaise. As we have been forced to distance ourselves from God in our daily lives, we have been forced further and further from our source of strength and health. We, as a society, become weak and sick. It is very important we recognize how we are being forced further from God, how it opens us up to social and personal disease of sin, what the symptoms are, and what to do to restore wholeness. In a free society it is important to protect personal freedom, yet there are passive and active ways to do so. In the past we sought to protect personal freedom by using a more passive approach which allowed an individual to avoid those things he found to be undesirable. If a person did not want to pray at the beginning of school or at a ball game, it was up to him to endure the time as hundreds or thousands of others did as they wished. In the twentieth century, there was a dramatic shift in the way personal freedom was viewed and a more aggressive approach toward 8 J. Lumpkin Healing the Tribes of Man protection was leveled against society. In this school of thought, it was necessary to protect the individual freedom at the expense of the masses. The logical and reasonable approach to protecting the wishes of the many is being outweighed by our courts as they bow to the eccentric wishes of the few, or even the one. Our legal system began to insist on the wishes of the one being upheld at the expense of the wishes of the many. It was at this point that we lost moral balance and began to allow our society to be affected by the whims of the few. Previously, our society had been based on a belief system that was almost entirely Christian and Bible-based, but we began to experience impediments or, at times, a cessation of our ability to express this belief system; thus followed a lack of proper reinforcement and propagation of the Christian way of life by our society. Without self-enforcing practice and transmission of these beliefs in our daily life, the way of life and application of the tenets began to die. We now stand at this crossroad: to do as our legal system seeks to force us to do, or to practice and propagate the Christian beliefs and way of life against the will of recent legal interpretation. This is the age in which we now live, facing either the death or the resurrection of Christianity. To use the prior analogy, we lost the ability to protect the social body from moral disease and began to evolve into a sick society. It is the difference between what we consider a personal space and what we view as society, which allows the sickness time to grow. If we were personally attacked by the implosion of personal freedom, we would begin to fight against the intrusion much sooner. Instead, we allow the desires of the few to take over the direction of the many because it seems removed from us. The laws are like a python slowly crushing our personal freedoms. We should not wait until we are personally restricted before we act. Any law restricting the society restricts the individual. 9 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man There are two primary views on the subject of how to improve society. One view offers the solution that each man must raise society to his level; thus the level of each one in society averages out to be at the level of society. In this view it is up to the individual to control the growth of society by growing individually. This point of view needs to allow individual freedom in order to encourage personal growth and thereby raise the "level" of the society. In the other view, it becomes society's responsibility to raise each individual to a higher level and thus raise itself. This is a more socialistic concept and can be related in some ways to the teachings of Confucius. In this society there is a duty to society as a whole. One does what is best for society and conforms to a predetermined social structure. The individual is groomed and formed into what society esteems as a good citizen. To my Western mind, it is difficult to see how any single person could easily challenge established ways that may need improving or abolishing if the society is his only standard and if individualism is forbidden. This society tends to be stagnant and slow to change except through "coup d'etat" or painful rebirth. Look to China and the old empire of the USSR for the examples. How individuals can be raised to a point beyond what society has to offer is a difficult point to comprehend. Let us consider the first argument since it is a Western/democratic model and seems to apply most to the United States. Within the Western society, there are two ways of personally benefiting society. These two views can be termed "the generalist and the specialist." In a society of generalists, each man has a body of knowledge broad enough to perform functions numerous enough to fill, create, or sustain many places in society. Through carpentry, soap-making, farming, hunting, leather tanning, or weaving, each man could personally create a level of society. Even though each man may have a special area of expertise, he is multi-faceted. 10 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man In the paradigm of the specialist, on the other hand, each man has a certain place in society that has been determined and focused on to the exclusion of most other courses of study. In this type of society each man has a narrow but deep area of knowledge. This has become the template of our society. We have doctors, lawyers, and other specialists, many of who cannot build, farm, hunt, weave, or even prepare meals. In this society there is great depth but interdependence. Due to this interdependence, we are held together more tightly and are more affected by any shift in culture or society. Thus, specialists form dependent links in the chain of society, each trying to achieve higher levels and greater depths of knowledge as they attempt to better themselves and become more marketable. In doing this, we raise society to higher levels as we grow. This system works well, but the self-interest driving each man to find a way to better himself, make more money, acquire more possessions, and gain prestige is the same thing making us blind to the sickness of our society. Our society promotes a self-concerned attitude of greed so, unless our money, jobs, or personal pursuits are affected, we turn a blind eye. In this society, symptoms become severe before most notice. A firmer connection between self and society can be established by understanding the way in which we relate to one another. As Christians we must learn to relate to others as Christ relates to us; one on one, on an individual basis, looking into the hearts of others. JOH 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. MAT 22:36-40 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. II J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man In Martin Bubers's work, I and Thou, we have a description of various approaches to personal relationships. On the first and most shallow level, we function as if the other person is a "unit" for the input and output of information to make appointments, schedule events, and act as an extension of our will. This stage we will call "Me and the Other." The "Me" does not view the "Other" as an equal. Whether we admit it or not, the "Other" is beneath or separate from us. Sadly, this is the way we conduct our businesses and even our marriages. We communicate needs, schedules, and timelines in order pick up the kids, take them to ball practice, make it to the doctors' appointments, and shop for things we need to run the household. It is the language by which we run our lives. It is a heartless or superior attitude which communicates no feelings. The only feelings functioning here are ancient callings from the body that disturb our flow of work on the same level as eating and sleeping. This is the level of eras. The second stage we will call "You and Me." In this stage of relations, we view others as persons but still not equals. We acknowledge them as other beings with "similar" rights, but still they do not carry the same spiritual weight as we do. When it comes to discussion or argument, we do not see the equality of the others or their opinions. This is a state of philo, a friendship that may make the heart feel something, but it does not change the heart. It is from this state we conduct most close friendships and decent marriages. It feels adequate but falls far short. The third and deepest stage of communication is called "I and Thou." In this stage we transcend ourselves and become keenly aware others are no more or less than we are, and we are a reflection of God and His Grace. We speak heart to heart as if we are communing with ourselves and with God. We deeply care about feelings and opinions. This is a state of agape that reaches into the heart and alters it to the point where we no longer have two hearts but we are one. The heart of the other person matters as much as our own. This state is a state of Grace, imparted by Grace,  J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man sustained by Grace, in which we act, move, and feel toward another as Christ feels toward us. To sacrifice for them is to sacrifice for us. To love them is to love ourselves. This is the highest state. if we were to conduct our marriages and our personal relationships from this level, we could not easily hurt or betray our family, friends, or society. In a society that promotes titles, position, and acquisition, it becomes very difficult to function more deeply than at the most shallow level. Our fast-paced way of life pushes us to exchange "just the facts" and move on quickly to the next issue. Our deepest beliefs and our lack of ability to have deep or meaningful relationships affect the structure of our society. The society affects our way of life. Our way of life affects our interpersonal relationships, and our interpersonal relationships affect the structure of society. Thus the circle of the life of a society goes. It is up to us to minister within this paradigm, so we had better know its structure well. In the never-ending cycle of entropy regarding human relationships, sits the minister trying to hold the hearts of the people together while many try to self-destruct. We and those we are trying to help work too hard, drive ourselves too far, and lose sight of the true goal of what we are trying to do. We get into the mode of damage control and fire fighting, all the while overlooking the solution to the problem. We are called at all hours into the midst of grief, suffering, and human tragedy. We spend time trying to comfort and negotiate when many of the situations in which people hurt other people would not happen if Jesus were in their hearts and the best interest of others were kept in mind. An open and compassionate heart stops many tragedies. A heart remade in the image of Christ would save IG
from ourselves and many of our worst mistakes. if we cared for our children as we care for ourselves, there would be far fewer divorces, affairs, and domestic violence. Mind you, I am not saying, "Get saved and all of your problems are over." Indeed, I believe much the opposite. I believe we take on many different problems 13 .T. Lumpkin -- Healing the Tribes of Man when saved. Some are old problems we wish would disappear but will not. The spirit of God may change us immediately but more often than not, we will be remade in the image of Christ day by day, little by little. The good news is the spirit and power that is forming us, is in us to guide us and comfort us. A friend approached me very distressed. Her husband had asked Jesus to be Lord of his life and had been saved. He was going to church right along, but during the week he was still drinking and at times was drunk. Congratulations, I said. You have yourself a saved drunk. Now, I know many of my more fundamentalist brothers and sisters are gathering stones and looking for my address, so before they arrive I will try to explain my stance. Jesus died for our sins because we are not perfect. We still sin and sinners are forgiven. That is not to say we shouldn't avoid sinning. We should. We should attempt to conform ourselves into the likeness of Christ But we cannot. If we could, He would not have had to die for us. The Holy Spirit must do that for us. The timing and progress is up to him. If we know a person who still gossips a little, stretches the truth to make himself look better, or still hasn't quite laid down a vice, like smoking, even though he knows God wants him to, then we know a person as bad or good as we are. There are no degrees or magic numbers of sins. All sins are forgiven if we have faith in Him. If this is not the case, none of us will be in Heaven. There are those who believe once a man is saved he does not sin. They are the most dangerous of all since they have somehow lost the ability to see deeply enough inside themselves. Conviction is God revealing our sins and sinful nature to us. Salvation is His forgiveness of those sins. It is not the removal of the sin nature. Yet, as God transforms us little by little, we revisit our sins less and less often over longer and longer intervals. By this we know He is working in our hearts to make us conformed to His image. 14 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man Let us be honest for a moment and speak the unspeakable. The Christianity of today does not work. The church is hurting its own people because it is lying to them. Some churches are experiencing a great falling away. The church has told us to come and all will be made right. We will be changed. It has not and we have not Some are changed instantly into new creatures. That is a miracle. Most are not. They continue to struggle day by day as the Spirit works its slow and patient process, which will not end until "we are made perfect over there." Christianity is not a fix, it is a path. Jesus is not a panacea. Jesus is our savior. Faith is not a magic wand. It is the key to the door of salvation. Mental and emotional injuries are inflicted when the espoused theology does not match reality. Even though it is said we walk by faith and not by sight, if our faith does not do what it is supposed to do then we do not understand the nature of faith or we have faith in the wrong thing. In short, we are saved from our sins and set free from the (spiritual) laws of sin and death, but we are not free of sin or its natural consequences. ROM 7:14-25 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 0 wretched man that I aml who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. 8:1-2 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the 15 J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man Spirit of life in Christ Jesus bath made me free from the law of sin and death. Those who minister to others are strung up between heaven and earth, trying to ease pain and stop the cycle of hurt. To reach people the counselor must understand and be compassionate. He must see things from angles previously unknown to him. He must look at our hurting brothers and sisters and be able to understand why they may have made their decisions. This does not mean he would agree with them, only that he is familiar with their "type" of person and how they "tick" This knowledge will allow us to know how to minister to their needs and how to best approach them with the salvation of Jesus that will help them overcome their issues, as the Spirit heals them in His own time. We must also be brutally honest and admit that telling the lost soul to pray and read scripture will not heal the hurting heart or stop the suicidal thirst to end one's own life. Bible thumping and quoting verses will only make things worse. When a person comes for help they rarely need to be convinced that they did something wrong. They are there because they know it. Although people usually will not change unless pressure is brought to bear on the personality, the pain must be bearable before the hurting heart can listen and accept God. Extreme pain can cause immobility. First assure the patient they are not alone, but let God do His work. Let it boil. Even Christians can get hurled off course and lose their way. Sin is temporary insanity. It brings all of the pain of insanity with it. Insanity takes a toll. Please have exact change. Sanity is seeing and accepting patterns in reality. Intelligence is adapting to those patterns. Insanity results from imposing false patterns on 16 J. Lumpkin — 'leafing the Tribes of Man reality. The type of insanity is based on the imposed patterns and the reactions to them. This needs to be repeated: JAM 2:25-17 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give then: not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being a lone. 17 J. Lurnpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man THEOLOGY AND THE INDIVIDUAL Individuals are affected by their theology. Our perspective of God is often influenced by our view of the parent image. In some ways our theology perpetuates itself as a "parental voice" within the adult. Whether a person's beliefs are passed down from his parents, impressed upon him as he is raised in a certain church, or whether it is a result of where and when the spirit of God touched his heart, the personality is drawn toward certain expressions of faith as we subconsciously relate God to our relationship to authority figures in our life. The individual and his beliefs are intertwined. An extreme theology can be an indicator of an unhealthy psyche. An extreme theology can exacerbate and feed an unbalanced personality. Generally speaking, most people have not done any deep study in theology to arrive at a point of faith or belief system. Their faith is more affected by experience and influences within their family and church. However, the expression of faith is partially a learned experience and partially a function of personality. Because of these issues, it is important for us as counselors to examine the theology of those seeking our help. Core beliefs drive our attitudes and decisions. Certain beliefs, if taken to extremes, cause extremes in action and attitude. For example, hyperfundamentalism in any faith always leads to intolerance of others because it is the nature to believe the fundamentalist is following the letter of the law closer than anyone else and is therefore closer to God. There are other common theologies that can lead to error if taken too far. The belief that the church or denomination to which the person belongs is the only true or real way to salvation leads to an elitist, 18 3. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man condescending outlook and overlooks the narrow and finite understanding of man. The belief that any sin will revoke your salvation leads to insecurity in life and oneself, which could become obsessive/compulsive in nature. If one believes what is done in the body does not affect the spirit, it can Iead to dealing selfishly and sinfully with others. The belief that God is a punitive god without mercy may lead to a feeling should anything go wrong in life, it is the person's fault for not living well enough. Likewise, this gives way to a strange and backwards feeling of being in control because if one could just be good enough, life would work out as it should. As mentioned earlier, this is very close to the effect the hyper-faith movement has on certain personalities. The belief that the strength of our faith can control what happens to us leads to the illusion of control. This may be reassuring to some, until such time as tragedy strikes and one must take responsibility for what fate dealt, since their faith was not strong enough to stop it. If taken to the fullest degree, this theology would have us believe the person with the strongest faith would never be sick, never die, become wealthy, and be a god. Those that preach this doctrine would also have us take the burdens of guilt, blame, and despair for all of those things we let happen to ourselves and our families, due to our human limitations. The belief that the amount of a person's tithe or offering is somehow tied to the depth of that person's faith leads to destitute members and rich preachers (we should ask those preaching this doctrine to give all they have to the poor in accordance to their own teachings). Denominational doctrines must be respected. At the same time we must be keenly aware of the effect beliefs can have on certain personality types, especially if the belief or the personality is not reasonable or balanced. There are times the counselor must focus the person's faith away from doctrine and back to God. Sometimes theology and doctrine must be tossed aside and stripped away until all that remains is Christ, His 14 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man crucifixion, His resurrection, and His salvation of us. To restore God to His proper place in a person's life may be the first step in healing the person if they are addicted to a toxic doctrine. Doctrine is like glass. You can see the truth through it, but it keeps you from touching the truth. Christianity results from a "heart condition." It only functions properly when there is a communion between our heart and the heart of God. Like any relationship, it is a living, spontaneous, and ongoing communication. No doctrine can describe or contain it After all, He is our parent. Doctrine can serve to restrict and stifle our interactions with God by limiting what we accept as His will or actions. Toxic doctrine imposes rules and patterns on our worship or belief that are harmful to us because it distorts our relationship to God. We should strive toward a mystical relationship with God which is not very different to a healthy relationship with a parent. The relationship should be trusting, open, loving, and it should sustain an ongoing dialog. A loving, trusting relationship with a parent has no rules or doctrine. There is no need for a rule book in a relationship of this type. God will do what He wants to do. He is, after all, God. We trust His decision will be for our best interest. After all, He is our "Parent" 20 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man THE QUEST Any journey in Iife must have at least a general direction and path. If one does not have these things, he is simply wandering. The problem is how to chart and travel the course. Keeping in mind the journey, or rite of passage in life, is that of the soul from its pristine, unaware state to the full, healthy self-aware expression. It is easy to see anything that would force the soul to deny this would stop the journey short of its completion and is a type of defeat. The journey itself is one of overcoming the obstacles standing in the way of reaching the precious goal. Anything preventing union or restoration must be dealt with. Healing comes in the telling of our story. Each time we tell it we leave a crumb of the pain behind. Each time we tell our story we tell the world we have overcome and made it through. The last step in this odyssey is to reunite with that thing which is so cherished or to obtain the goal and win the battle. This is the stage needed to reach a healthy, whole, and integrated being. At this stage we know our own souls, understand what place self control holds, and have an intact psyche capable of self-expression. We are the heroes, and ours are the quests. At the time of the dispute and trauma in our childhood, a splintering or separation occurred which stifled and stole a piece of our soul from the integrated being we were before the blow was delivered. Much like a shard falls from a crystal when it is traumatized; a shard of the psyche is taken from us. We are then no longer whole. We feel this amputation and manifest the feeling through 21 Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man pain, emptiness, anger, sorrow, or distrust. We wander around aimlessly trying to feel better until one day the fact of our separation dawns on us. At that time, another different, yet incredible, journey begins. We, the heroes, start on a sojourn of restoration. Having survived the disruption, separation, and recognition, we must overcome the monsters of hurt, anger, and fear in order to reach the place of forgiveness and win back the prize of wholeness and integration lost so long ago. In the dark, half-hidden times of childhood, the deed was done, and in this postdiluvian age we must return to find the clues showing what went wrong and who did it. We must walk the obscure paths of memory, feeling our way into its wilderness further and further until the footprint is found. Then, with the skills of the bravest brave, we must trail the beast to its den. Armed with the sword of understanding and the arrows of forgiveness, we must kill the beast and take back what is rightfully ours - ourselves. From age to age and from hero to hero, from disruption through separation, recognition, journey, and victory, with all of the battles along the way, we are the heroes, and ours can be the victory. Who we are, in the complete sense of the word, can only be understood when we examine ourselves separated from the influence of outside forces. This is because any disturbance causes a reaction. That reaction is based primarily on what part of us might be affected. This part of us is thus exaggerated, and the remaining part is eclipsed. We may think we can fight off the world, but the fight itself causes a great distortion. We may think we have free will, and some of us, through our arrogance, suppose the life of the individual is fully controlled by the individual. But this is only a half-truth, and thus only as effective as half a boat. We will never be completely detached from the world until death, but there are ways to understand and sort out the distortions caused within us. Consider a pond during a soft southern shower; each raindrop has its own path. Whether the individual or God chooses the path is left for the 22 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man theologians to debate. Every drop enters its watery world and begins to integrate smoothly with perfect circles; that is until the area surrounding it receives another raindrop. At this point the integration and symmetrical effects of the first are interfered with by the free will of the second. The integration and symmetry of both are changed against their wills and a reaction begins. The reaction is strongest in the area where the two interact, causing distortion. This distortion is the first thing that must stop before our true face can be revealed. Let us use the analogy of peeling an onion to symbolize the stripping away of our false faces. These faces are reactions learned by us in order to cope with the various effects and distortions brought to bear on us. To strip away these distortions is to see and know our very soul. Before the onion can be peeled it must be removed from the dirt, that place where the rocks, insects and other onions affected its growth and symmetry. Who we are can only be discerned when we are still and calm inside. We must first find the place on the inside and on the outside where we may learn to be still and thus, in a fashion, remove ourselves from the effects of the world for a time. When the dirt falls away and we recognize what is dirt and what is real, we can begin peeling the onion. Like an onion with its dry, shining face, we present a general persona to the world. False, protective, and brittle, it hides our true nature. This extra skin was developed to allow us to better cope, not with the outside world, but with ourselves. Although it shields part of us from the environment of interaction, its purpose is to separate and shield us from the stimuli which cause the reaction of negative feelings in us. When the skin has become sufficiently thick, we feel as if we have succeeded in coping with the environment, but we have artificially stopped our own growth: no stimuli, no reaction - no reaction, no feeling - no feeling, no idea there is a problem, and no growth, no maturing. The skin we wear gives an indication 23 J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man of what it is we are trying to protect, what our motives are, and where the area of maturing needs to be concentrated. The first layers are quickly identified and may seem to slough off easily, but what is revealed underneath, like the onion, is an infinite number of more and more defiant and cloying layers, substructures to which the same patient observation, identification, and dismantling must apply. For every repeated exposure to an environment there is formed a habitual reaction; another layer, another persona. A face for every situation, another little "ego." These faces serve only two purposes: to protect us and to enable us to get what we want. These faces hide our true motives from others. They are the methods used to obtain the thing we are ultimately in search of. This search is called the motive. Like someone threatened, who winces and flails in self-protection, our persona is turned and contorted in a thousand postures forming different personas. As one protective habit is set and another situation is encountered, layer upon layer of these sub-persons are built. This is how the protective faces are formed. These layers are made up of fear of rejection, abandonment, or abuse. They normally make up a small number of the outer layers, but they are the more difficult to see through. Far more numerous are the faces built to obtain our selfish ends. As the child grows, he learns what postures to take to get what he desires. This positive reinforcement quickly builds into a habit, a mask, a method. This means the methods we use depend partly on our own personalities and partly on our parent image and what best worked to manipulate them. Between the protective methods and the manipulative methods, before long the central or seed persona is obscured completely and all we see are the layers which are false faces or masks. We identify ourselves as the layers or masks but we are not. We are that core. Who are we? What is our true face? Let's peel the onion and find out. 24 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man One of the saints once said as he followed his thoughts back to the beginning, the path turned to a trail and the trail disappeared, leaving nothing but dragons beneath his feet. What he was referring to was his own motivation. He came to the realization: every thought he had and every action he took could always be traced back to a selfish motive. Even if the actions were benevolent, the motives could always be traced to what he thought would make him feel better, or what would look better in the eyes of his God or his peers. It wasn't the deeds which were any less "good," only that the motives were based in some part on selfishness. He discovered for himself, very few thoughts or actions sprang from a pure, selfless, spontaneous desire for good, and I suspect the same can be said for you and me. We all have motives, and the measurement of our emotional maturity may be how in touch we are with these motives. To accomplish our goals, we change our faces, adapt our methods, and become less ourselves because to get what we want is more important to us than to be faithful to what we are. There is an old song that speaks of a woman who keeps her face in a jar by the door. I would hear that song and think, "How sad." Now 1 think, "How lucky." She only has one face, and she can keep up with it. I realized I had a hundred faces and they hung on every situation. I changed faces with each circumstance. All of this was cloaked under the guise of "me." It was a different face in this situation or that situation, but I still called it "me." The thing that made no sense was the lack of consistency. There is impulsive gentleness in one circumstance, anger in another, internal postures that turned and contorted like a flag in the wind. I am not suggesting we not feel, but what I am suggesting is we acknowledge that we are responsible for the reactions to our feelings. We can allow ourselves to feel more if we are in control. We must be authentic and understand our faces may be a mask worn by the same person, but it is not the same persona underneath. 25 J. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man A person can be cloaked in a plethora of personas All personas he refers to as "I" or ''me." The change of faces is driven by a knee-jerk reaction in response to the situation. From the time we are born we encounter similar situations or parts of similar situations. We recognize the situation or part thereof and respond to it. At first the response is spontaneous, but according to the outcome and emotional triggers, we modify our response. After encountering similar situations enough times, our response becomes habitual. With the habit of response comes the assumption of outcome. Even if the outcome is not the same and the emotional triggers of the past are missing, the habitual response continues. This is now a face, a persona, another "I." To halt or change the reaction and eliminate the "I," we must realize, even though our reactions are habitual, we can bring them under our control again. As we encounter a situation, there is a moment in time we change faces and choose to react in a certain way. At first these reactions were conscious, then subconscious and habitual, but the reactions must be made conscious once again. That which is conscious can be controlled. To bring the change of persona to a conscious level, the sequence of internal events must be traced back to their roots. Before reaction there is decision. Before decision there is feeling. Before feeling there is input. During all of this, part of us is watching, objectively watching, and continuing step by step from situation to reaction. The moment this sequence is fully and continually identified, the struggle to regain control begins. On some level, we all realize this ''choosing of the face." In moments of objective clarity, we have seen the sequence with perfect insight. In a blink of an eye, we know our true face and the freedom of making our own choices. We have chosen to ignore these insights because we don't want to consider ourselves to be manipulative or false. We are. 26 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE, BUT IT IS A GOOD EXPLANATION Like an arrow released from the archer's bow, our emotions follow the path on which they are released. And like the shooting of an arrow, there is always a span of time between the release and the flight. A brief moment passes between the archer's giving the arrow permission to fly and the damage that follows the decision. In that moment of perfect mental balance, we see everything: the draw, the tension holding the draw...holding it, holding it... the release, and the kill. If we would look objectively within, we would see the same occurrences in our emotional world. If we would, we could see we give ourselves permission to fire. Want proof? Proof is all around. Each time we deal differently with a child than we would deal with an adult, we display the paradox. If a oneyear-old child were to accidentally break your favorite vase how would you react? If a teenager or adult were to break the same vase, would you react differently? If a child of three years says something to hurt your feelings, wouldn't you tend to deal with it differently than if an adult were to do the same? If the same person draws a different response from the same event, the response must be a choice. Insight upon insight, glimpse upon glimpse, we will start to recognize a pattern. Within the pattern are two crucial details - motive and method. Method is how you react. Motive is why you react. Motive is always more important than method. The same method may be used for a number of motives. To understand the motive is to 27 $
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J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man STILL WATER REFLECTS TRULY Finding the truth in any situation is based on objectivity. There must be a detachment, not a dullness, nor a repression of feeling% but a spontaneous loss of ego which produces an equality in points of view. The point of view loses the normally self-centered origin and is then balanced in an objectivity which allows a person to see things from the vantage point of a journalist's unbiased reporting of the events. That unbiased objectivity is the key to revealing the true face. Consider the pond and the raindrops described earlier. If a single raindrop were to fall into the pond, the ripples would go out from the center, undistorted and undisturbed, until they faded away. After being absorbed and fully integrated into the pond, the raindrop would become a part of the pond. There would be no difference between the drop and the pond. The raindrop would have become the pond. If the pond then remained undisturbed, all events around the pond would be reflected with perfect clarity as the smooth surface of the pond became like a mirror. There are only three basic steps toward wholeness: interrogation, understanding, and integration. From an objective, truthful, and detached point of view, you watch yourself interact with others. You watch with the perspective of a spy. You watch for your false faces and unreal responses. Interrogate yourself. Ask why you lied to yourself and others in a situation. Ask yourself what you were really after or what you were really afraid of. Keep asking why until there are no more answers. There are no more answers only when you have 29 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man arrived at your own basic motive. This is the motive driving you constantly throughout your life. Understand the true and basic set of motives driving us subconsciously from event to event. To help with this, look for patterns and repetitions in life. The type of partners chosen or repeated occurrences may give clues to hidden motives and drives. Be cruelly honest when searching for the "whys" behind the choices. Soon the unconscious motives and drives will be brought to light. Integrate those unconscious motives and drives into the conscious awareness. Make them conscious and keep vigil over them so they will never be allowed to control from an unconscious level again. 30 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man HOW TO BE STILL AND WATCH Stalking the Wild Dragon: Motives, Masks, and Mayhem It's just another day in paradise as you stumble to your bed. You'd give anything to silence those voices ringing in your head ....You thought you'd find happiness just over that green hill. You thought you'd be satisfied, but you never will. Learn to be still. We are like sheep without a shepherd. We don't know how to be alone, so we wander 'round this desert, and wind up following the wrong gods home. But the flock cries out for another, and they keep answering that bell. One more starry eyed messiah meets a violent farewell. Learn to be still. Taken from the album, "Hell Freezes Over" by the Eagles. Written by Don Henley PSA 46:9-// He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire. Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah. 0 clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph. On the path to self-discovery, many times the first step is the most difficult It could be because it takes the most motivation, or maybe it is because before one starts down a path, the full directions are not understood. In our hassled, pretentious world, masks and motives are easy to come by, and truth about oneself is a rare commodity. Watching yourself with patience and objectivity is the first and most important step in our process of growth. We must struggle to keep the revelations gained from these objective glimpses of ourselves fresh in your minds from the inception of the journey until the very last moment of life. Between one moment and 31 J. Lumpk in - Healing the Tribes of Man another, through what at first will seem to be an act of grace, the door to objectivity will inch open. If it is watched with an unwavering gaze, the cracked door can be pried open a bit further. 32 #
Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man DESERT MYSTICS In the early Christian church, we find a group of brave souls referred to as the desert mystics or desert fathers. They followed an inner calling but acted it out in such a way to make it external. They journeyed into the desert for their soul's sake, seeking desolation, a place to be alone with one's self and God to such a degree that each one was forced to become familiar with each thought and pattern of mind and heart. It was a place of revelation for the heart-wrenching present condition of the very soul. This self-imposed hero's journey was taken on by the grace of a higher calling which refused to be silenced, the need of a spirit-to-spirit communion with God, a need to know the love and sustaining hand of their source. They knew the first step was to diminish themselves in order to make room for God. Thus, the search into the uncharted corridors of the heart was acted out through the physical hermitage in the desert. The desert became a place where many stayed for years, a place where some died, and a place where some went insane. Many surrendered to the enemy of loneliness never to complete the journey and win the prize of freedom from self. Those who returned from the desert, returned having faced fear, pain, and loneliness; supplanting the self and its ego with the agape', unconditional love of God. They are the heroes of the early church. On the surface it may be said their journey was more esoteric, but whether internal or external, the hero's journey is the same, following the same steps and milestones as any hero's journey: realization of a missing 
1. Lumpkin — Healing the Tribes of Man piece, making the decision to find that which is desired, the journey and trials, the learning and wisdom it brings, the attainment of wholeness which is the victory. All heroes, real or not, religious or mundane, esoteric or physical, are linked together on a common sojourn, and so are we. In this example we have crossed from the common idea of the second journey, which many dismiss with a wave of the hand saying it is a mid-life crisis, into that which is spiritual by nature. Actually, all second journeys are spiritual in nature; some just go further or deeper than others. We are unique and have unique journeys. The three journeys of life are with us always. We see them acted out in our families and ourselves. First we go forth to conquer the world. We subdue our environment. We build and acquire. We work. In the second journey we understand the first journey has Ieft us empty and lacking. We turn within to conquer ourselves. It is a time of truth, inner questioning, and self-discovery. In the last journey, we turn from the world and ourselves and face our own mortality and death. We make peace with God once and for all. Although these journeys may overlap in time, each is distinct and separate in nature. If we are to mature as people and as Christians we will complete these journeys. We will face our world, our selves, and our God. We will overcome through Christ and through Him we will become the heroes and saints we were made to be. Our Father, our God, our Savior, please show us your heart. Let us go beyond beliefs and doctrines. Lift us up higher than our limited faith can reach and let us go straight into your arms. Allow us to know you and your grace, mercy, healing, and love. 34 J. Lumpkin - Healing the Tribes of Man A MATTER OF FAMILY The sins of the parents are visited upon the children...(and their children, and their children, and their children...) Having the opportunity to meet and counsel with hundreds of people throughout the years will open one's eyes to patterns. I saw some of these patterns firsthand when I was recently confronted with a group of five young ladies. Each was finding it impossible to maintain a meaningful personal relationship. Each was working in the adult entertainment industry, and each had been neglected or abused by their fathers. I understand my view may be dismissed by various parts of our society. The view is not in vogue, however studies show the hypothesis to be true and observation back up the information. In recent years I have seen an accelerated decline in acceptable societal behavior that followed an equally precipitous decline in the soundness of the traditional family unit. I think there is an unmistakable connection here. I believe each parent represents an area of learning for his or her children. A child instinctively looks to the mother for lessons in nurturing, care, compassion, balancing self with others in relationships, and diplomatic interaction.