Self-Concept and Seven Habits: BFE Curriculum

PART 2. CITIZENSHIP TRAINING Training of the younger generation citizens in civic engagement and participation may help secure and sustain the society. Citizenship training education is to provide the knowledge and skills necessary to create an ongoing stream of new citizens participating...

PART 2. CITIZENSHIP TRAINING Training of the younger generation citizens in civic engagement and participation may help secure and sustain the society. Citizenship training education is to provide the knowledge and skills necessary to create an ongoing stream of new citizens participating and engaging with the creation of a progressing and dynamic society. a. SELF-CONCEPT What is a Paradigm? A paradigm is the way you see something, your point of view, frame of reference or belief. Paradigms are like glasses. When you have incomplete paradigms about yourself or life in general, it’s like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription. There are three kinds of paradigm namely the paradigm of self, paradigm of others and the paradigm of life. 1. Paradigm of self Understanding about self-concept helps us assess our paradigm of self. Positive self-paradigms can bring out the best in us. Negative self-paradigms can put limitations on us. Self-concept refers to our conscious and unconscious perceptions and feelings about ourselves with regard to our worth as persons. A person is said to have a low, poor or negative self-concept when he sees that he has little or no worth or feels unhappy about himself. A person is said to have a high, good or positive self- concept when he sees himself to have worth and he feels good about himself. Self-concept serves both as a mirror and a filter. It serves as a mirror because it reflects to us a picture of ourselves, which in turn affects us either positively or negatively. We are happy or miserable depending on the mirror image that our self-concept presents to us. It filters our experiences so that we interpret them according to our existing perceptions of ourselves. Three Dimensions of Self-Concept: a. Self-image - our perceptions and feelings about our worth with regard to our physical and social appearance. A person with a positive self-image recognizes some of his physical and social limitations but does not allow these to deter him from feeling good about how he appears and has learned to acknowledge and accept his limitations and therefore feels at home with himself.  Physical – genetic inheritance such as sex and race, and physical attributes such as height, build, weight and others.  Social appearance – name, roles, status and titles b. Self-confidence - our perceptions and feelings about our worth with regard to our capabilities. This involves our ability to do things, to achieve, and to develop more competencies. Self-confidence paves the way to productivity because the person believes in his potentials. A person with positive self-confidence allows these potentials to develop by trying. He is not afraid of making a mistake. He does not fall into the trap of “being perfect” and the development of his abilities is measured within his own standards of development. If a person does not believe in his capabilities, his potential seldom flourishes and grows. Common roots which affect a person’s confidence level includes too much stress on achievement, perfection as a standard, comparing oneself with others and fear of making mistakes or grades.  c. Self-esteem - our perceptions and feelings about our worth with regard to our lovability. This relates to our basic ability to love and be loved. A person with high self-esteem believes he is lovable, does not reject and put down himself even when others seem to reject him. He does not subject his lovability with conditions, such as believing he is only lovable only if he is good or if he is good-looking or if he can achieve, can love more freely and spontaneously; and he believes in his lovable nature as a creature of the loving God. On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem does not love himself. He may doubt the love of others or may feel he has to work extra hard to earn other people’s love; and he is the first to reject himself. It is said that people have four (Johari’s) “windows” which define who we are as persons. Known to Self Not Known to Self 1 2 Known to Others OPEN BLIND Not Known To Others HIDDEN UNKNOWN 3 4 2. Paradigm of others Seeing things from a different point of view can help us understand why other people act the way they do. 3. Paradigms of life According to Covey, the most important thing for each person is the thing you spend the most time thinking about and is driving your choices. These become your life-centers. All of them have good points, but they are not enough to be complete. Popular life centers for teens are friend-centered, stuff- centered, boyfriend/girlfriend-centered, school- centered, parent-centered and other possible centers. Principle-centered life is the real thing. People have to recognize and live in harmony with such basic principles as fairness, equity, justice, integrity, honesty, and trust. b. SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE AND THE 8TH HABIT The Seven Habits constitute a principle-centered paradigm. Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value -- they are fundamental. Principles never fail. Examples of principles are honesty, service, love, hard work, respect, gratitude, moderation, fairness, integrity, loyalty, and responsibility. Habit is a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition. It is an established disposition of the mind or character. Our character is a composite of our habits. Changing a habit is hard, but it can be done by tremendous commitment. A (good) habit can be defined as the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire. Change is a cycle of being and seeing (visualization). Knowledge is a theoretical paradigm – “what to do and why.” Skill is the “how to do it.” Desire is the motivation, the “want to do it.” In order to make something a habit in our lives, we need to have all three. From Dependence to Interdependence Maturity Continuum 1. Dependence Habits 1, 2 and 3 (Be Proactive, Begin with The End In Mind, Put First Things First) deal with self- mastery. They are the "private victories" required for character growth. Private victories precede public victories. 2. Independence Habits 4, 5 and 6 are the more personality-oriented "public victories" of Teamwork, Cooperation and Communication. 3. Interdependence Habit 7 is the habit of Renewal, creating an upward spiral of growth. Image from https://bit.ly/3hEEZrI  HABIT ONE (1) – BE PROACTIVE “Principle of Personal Vision”  Habit 1 says you are the driver of your life.  Change starts from within. Highly effective people make the decision to improve their lives through the things that they can influence rather than simply reacting to external forces.  Reactive people make choices based on impulse while Proactive people make choices based on values. Just Push Pause Sometimes life is moving so fast that we instantly react to everything out of sheer habit. If you can learn to pause, get control, and think about how you want to respond, you’ll make smarter decisions. While your life is on pause, open up your tool box and use your four human tools to help you decide what to do. The following are the four power tools: 1. Self-awareness : I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions. 2. Conscience : I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong. 3. Imagination : I can envision new possibilities. 4. Willpower : I have the power to choose. Stimulus Response Freedom to Choose Self-Awareness Independent Will Conscience Between stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose. This is your greatest power. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. A proactive person uses proactive language. A reactive person uses reactive language. HABIT TWO (2) - BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND “Principle of Personal Leadership”  Developing a clear picture of where you want to go with your life and deciding which values are helpful in goal-setting  Habit 1 says you are the driver of your life, not a passenger. Habit 2 says that since you’re the driver, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there.  Simply thinking beyond today and deciding what direction you want to take with your life, so that each step you take is always in the right direction Begin with the End in Mind is based on imagination. It is the ability to envision, see the potential, and create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes and conscience. When we begin with the end in mind, we have a personal direction to guide our daily activities, without which we will accomplish little toward our own goals. Beginning with the end in mind is part of the process of personal leadership and taking control of our own lives. THREE WATCH OUTS 1. Negative Labels- are ugly forms of prejudice. 2. It’s-all-over syndrome- When you’ve made a mistake and feel so bad about what you’ve done. 3. Wrong wall- You worked really hard to get something you wanted only to find out that when you got it, you feel empty inside. GO FOR THE GOAL 1. Count the cost 2. Put It in Pen - A goal not written is only a wish. 3. Just Do it - “Do” or “do not.” There is no trying. 4. Use Momentous Moments- Utilize “memorable” moments for goal setting. 5. Rope Up- You’ll accomplish more in life if you’ll rope up and borrow strength from others. HABIT THREE (3) - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST “Principle of Personal Management”  It’s all about learning to prioritize and managing your time so that your first things come first, not last.  In habit 2, you decided what your first things are. Habit 3, then, is putting them first in your life.  The habit of will-power (the strength to say yes to your most important things) and won’t-power (the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure).  Habit 1 says, “You are the driver, not the passenger”. Habit 2 says, “Decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there”. Habit 3 says, “Get there! Don’t let roadblocks knock you off course”. Important- your most significant things, your first things, activities that contribute to your mission and your goals Urgent- pressing things, in-your-face things, activities that demand immediate attention Time Quadrants 1. The Procrastinator- thrives under pressure 2. The Prioritizer- the quadrant of excellence 3. The Yes-Man- trying to please people 4. The Slacker- category of waste and excess The results of too much time in each quadrant are: Q1 : Stress and anxiety, burnout, mediocre performance Q2 : Quadrant of excellence Q3: Reputation of being a “pleaser,” lack of discipline, feeling like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on Q4: Lack of responsibility, guilt, flakiness The Other Half Time management isn’t all there is to Habit 3. It’s only half of it. The other half is learning to overcome fear and peer pressure. It takes courage and guts to stay true to your first things, like your values and standards, when the pressure is on. 1. The Comfort Zone and the Courage Zone 2. Never let your fears make your decisions 3. Winning means rising each time you fall 4. Be Strong in the Hard Moments 5. Overcoming Peer Pressure In the final analysis, putting first things first takes discipline.  HABIT FOUR (4) – THINK WIN-WIN  Life is an all-you-can-eat buffet.  is an attitude toward life, a mental frame of mind that says, “I can win and so can you.”  The foundation for getting along well with other people  It begins with the belief that we are all equal, that no one is inferior or superior to anyone else, and no one really needs to be. WIN-LOSE ATTITUDE (The Totem Pole)  Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes  Trying to get ahead at the expense of another  Spreading rumors about someone else (as if putting someone else down builds you up)  Always insisting of getting your way without concerning yourself of the feelings of others  Becoming jealous and envious when something good happens to someone close to you LOSE-WIN (The Doormat) is weak. It’s easy to get stepped on. It’s easy to be the nice guy. It’s easy to give in, all in the name of being a peacemaker. With a Lose-Win attitude, you’ll find yourself setting low expectations and compromising your standards again and again. Giving in to peer pressure is Lose-Win. LOSE-LOSE (The Downward Spiral) Examples of Lose-Lose are war and revenge. Lose-Lose also happen when two Win-Lose people get together. WIN-WIN (The All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet). You care about other people and you want them to succeed. But you also care about yourself, and you want to succeed as well. Win-Win is abundant. It’s not either you or me. It’s the both of us. HOW TO THINK WIN-WIN 1. Win the Private Victory First 2. Avoid the Tumor Twins : competing and comparing HABIT FIVE (5) - SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD  This habit is the key to communication, and to having the power to influence other people. Why is this habit the key to communication? It’s because the deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. FIVE POOR LISTENING STYLES 1. Spacing out 2. Pretend listening 3. Selective Listening 4. Word listening 5. Self-centered listening Empathic listening is the highest form of listening with the intent to understand. It is the ability to project oneself into the personality of another person in order to better understand that person's emotions or feelings. GENUINE LISTENING 1. First, listen with your eyes, heart and ears because only 7% of communication is contained in the words we use, 53% from body language, and 40% from tone or feeling. 2. Second, stand in their shoes. 3. Third, practice mirroring.  HABIT SIX (6) –SYNERGIZE (THE “HIGH” WAY)  Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.  It’s not your way or my way, but a better way – a “higher way.” Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create a better solution than either could do alone SYNERGY IS SYNERGY IS NOT Celebrating differences Tolerating differences Teamwork Working independently Open mindedness Thinking you’re always right Finding new and better ways Compromise FINDING THE HIGH WAY Synergy is more than just compromise or cooperation. It is creative cooperation, with an emphasis on the word creative. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Getting to Synergy Action Plan Define the problem or opportunity. Listen to “their way.” (Seek first to understand the ideas of others.) Explain “my way.” (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas.) Brainstorm (Create new options and ideas.) Form the “High way.” (Find the best solution.) Teamwork and Synergy Great teams are usually made up of five or more different types of people, with each member playing a different but important role. Plodders. Sure and steady, they stick to a job until it’s done. Followers. Very supportive of leaders; if they hear a great idea, they can go with it. Innovators. The “creative idea” people; they offer the sparks in the group. Harmonizers. They provide unity and support and are great synergizers as they work with others and encourage cooperation. Show-offs. Fun to work with, they can be tough at times. They often add the spice and momentum needed to bring the team’s over-all success.  HABIT SEVEN (7) – SHARPEN THE SAW (IT’S ME TIME)  It is all about keeping your personal self sharp so that you can better deal with life.  Regularly renewing and strengthening the four key dimensions of your life 1. Body: The Physical Dimension 2. Brain: The Mental Dimension 3. Heart: The Emotional Dimension 4. Soul: The Spiritual Dimension BALANCE IS BETTER! Why is balance so important? It’s because how you do in one dimension of life affects the other three. PRINCIPLES EMBODIED IN THE 7 HABITS HABIT PRINCIPLE  Be Proactive  Responsibility/ initiative  Begin with the end in mind  Vision/ values  Put First Things First  Integrity/ execution  Think win-win  Mutual respect’s benefit  Seek first to understand, then to be  Mutual understanding understood  Synergize  Creative cooperation  Sharpen the saw  Renewal DEVELOPING THE FIVE MAIN COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ) THROUGH THE 7 HABITS Self- awareness  Be Proactive Personal Motivation  Begin with the end in mind Self- regulation  Put First Things First  Sharpen the saw Empathy  Seek first to understand, then to be understood Social skills  Think win-win  Seek first to understand, then to be understood  Synergize  The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness  Why are the 7 habits still relevant in today’s new reality? The greater the change and the more difficult the challenges are, the more relevant they become.  The call and need for new era is greatness.  The 8th habit is to Find Your Voice and Inspire Others to Find Theirs. TALENT PASSION NEED CONSCIENCE Voice is a unique personal significance that is revealed as we face our greatest challenges and which makes us equal to them. Voice lies at the nexus of: Talent - natural gifts and strengths Passion - those things that naturally energize, excite, motivate and inspire you Need - including what the world needs enough to pay you for Conscience - that still, small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it When you engage in work that taps your talent and fuels your passion – that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet – therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code. Find Your Voice – The pathway is to: 1. Discover your voice by coming to understand your true nature. The power to discover your voice lies in the potential that was bequeathed us at birth. Three most important gifts: a. Freedom and power to choose b. Natural laws or principles, which are universal and never changing, such as fairness, kindness, respect, honesty, integrity, service and contribution c. Four intelligences/ Capacities a. Mental intelligence (IQ) - ability to analyze, reason, think abstractly, use language, visualize and comprehend b. Physical intelligence (PQ) c. Emotional intelligence (EQ) - self-knowledge, self-awareness, social sensitivity, empathy and the ability to communicate with others d. Spiritual intelligence (SQ) – drive for meaning and connection with the infinite 2. Express your voice by cultivating the highest manifestations of these human intelligences. 3. Inspire Others to Find Their Voice – The leadership challenge