Effective Counseling PDF

i\huauc:eh IDratutug 1Justttut:e 1Jut:emattnual A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counsefing PARTNINE How the ''Heart'' Deterinines Direction in Life . Twelve Types of Hearts That Determine Direction and Success How Understanding Hearts Is the Key to Counseling ..... 3 How the Heart Relates...

i\huauc:eh IDratutug 1Justttut:e 1Jut:emattnual A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counsefing PARTNINE How the ''Heart'' Deterinines Direction in Life . Twelve Types of Hearts That Determine Direction and Success How Understanding Hearts Is the Key to Counseling ..... 3 How the Heart Relates to the Spirit and Soul ............ 4 1 A Clean Heart vs. a Wicked Heart .................... 5 2 A Pure Heart vs. a Double Heart ..................... 7 3 A Wise and Understanding Heart vs. a Foolish Heart ... 9 4 A Broken and Contrite Heart vs. a Hard Heart ........ 13 5 A Tender Heart vs. a Bitter Heart .................... 18 6 A Meek and Lowly Heart vs. a Proud Heart .......... 21 7 A Circumcised Heart vs. a Deceitful Heart ........... 24 8 A Large Heart vs. a Lean Heart ...................... 26 9 A Good and Faithful Heart vs. an Unbelieving Heart .. 28 10 A Perfect Heart vs. a Whorish Heart ................ 29 11 A Sound and Upright Heart vs. a Deceived Heart .... 31 12 A Merry Heart vs. a Discouraged Heart ............. 32 Personal decisions based on "heart changes" (Summarysectionatendofeachsection) Effective Counseling Course Part Nine Institute in Basic Life Principles • Box One • Oak Brook, IL 60522-3001 • 630-323-9800 How Understanding the Heart Is the Key to Counseling The wisest and most Godly man in the nation of Israel was given the important assignment of anointing the next king. To guide him in this historic task, God told him that the king would come from a certain family. When the firstborn son of that family was brought to Samuel, Samuel was immediately impressed with his appearance and exclaimed, "Surely this is the anointed of the Lord." God quickly reproved him for his misjudgment. Samuel had looked only on the outward appearance and had not recognized the pride, anger, and arrogance that was in this older son's heart. How often do we invest time and resources in a person who we believe will be a leader, only to have him turn away from God and fail. On the other hand, how often do we overlook one, only to have him tum out to be an outstanding leader? The reason for this phenomenon is explained by God:" ... For the LoRD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7). Samuel would have made a tragic choice, because he did not study the heart of Eliab. A Biblical Case Study The apostle Peter gives us a significant example of bringing a person to repentance by understanding his heart rather than responding to his outward actions, words, or appearance. "And when Simon saw that through laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money, Saying, Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost. "But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. "Then answered Simon, and said, Pray ye to the Lord for me, that none of these things which ye have spoken come upon me" (Acts 8:24). A Hearf After God David talked more about types of hearts than any other writer of Scripture, and for good reason. God tells us that David was a man after His own heart. Therefore, the more our hearts parallel David's heart, the more God can say the same thing of us. To the degree that we comprehend and deal with the different types of hearts that God speaks of in Scripture, to that same degree, we will have skill in counseling. 3 How Does the Heart Relate to the Spirit and the Soul? It is difficult to draw a diagram of the unseen functions of the spirit and soul. Once the diagram is drawn, however, the question must be raised as to where the heart fits into such a diagram. In I Thessalonians 5:23, God distinguishes between the spirit and the soul and the body. However, in Mark 12:30 we are instructed to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our soul, all of our mind, and all of our strength. The Close Relationship Between Heart and Spirit Over twenty passages of Scripture describe a very close relationship between the heart and the spirit of a person. Here are a few of these passages. • "Create in me a clean heart, 0 God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). • "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart" (Psalm 51:17). • " ... I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search" (Psalm 77:6). • " ... By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken" (Proverbs 15:13). • " ... To revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones" (Isaiah 57:15). • "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you ... " (Ezekiel 36:26). • "For the word of God is quick, and powerful ... dividing asunder the soul and spirit ... and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). 1 The Heart (kardia) Holy Spirit Soul ~ V Our Spirit Mind Will •Conscience The center of human life and spiritual activity; the "control center" of our thoughts, will, emotions, actions, and words. " ... As he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). ". . . Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" (Matthew 12:34). 2 The Spirit (pneuma) The home of conscience, faith, genuine love, wisdom, discernment, drive, creativity, joy, and enthusiasm. Be "fervent in spirit." (See Romans 12:11.) 3 The Soul (psuke) The mind, will, and emotions of a person. 4 1. A Clean Heart vs. a Wicked Heart Importance of a Clean Heart With a clean heart we will gain eternal life and escape the torments of an eternal hell. On the other hand, a person who has a wicked heart is proud of the desires and imaginations of his evil heart. "The wicked shall be turned into hell ... " (Psalm 9:17; see also 10:2-3). Definition of a Clean Heart Clean: Greek-katharos, "without blemish; spotless; one who has been entirely cleansed from sin; blameless in the sight of God." (See Vine's Expository Dictionary.) Hebrew: tahowrrefers to physical, ceremonial, and moral purity. Purpose of a Clean Heart: To be cleansed from sin. The sin nature that Adam passed on to all of us has corrupted and defiled every heart that is conceived (except the heart of Jesus, because he was conceived by the Holy Spirit). Therefore, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Qeremiah 17:9). From birth, our natural desires are opposite to the will and ways of God. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child ... " (Proverbs 22:15). In this condition we are under the wrath of God. " ... God is angry with the wicked every day" (Psalm 7:11). "Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end; but establish the just: for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins" (Psalm 7:9). How to Get a Clean Heart A clean heart is not the result of our own efforts; it is the work of God. "Create in me a clean heart, 0 God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). Through the sacrificial death of the Lord Jesus Christ, God cleanses our hearts of sin. " ... The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin" (I John 1:7). The Old Testament sacrifices were a foreshadow of Christ's death on the cross. The blood of those animal sacrifices was applied by a little hyssop branch. (See Leviticus 14:1-7.) "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow" (Psalm 51:7). (See also Numbers 19:1-19.) We now apply the blood of Christ by confessing that we have broken God's laws, repenting of our wicked thoughts and deeds, and receiving by faith the gift of salvation that God offers to us by the finished work of Christ on the cross. "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved" (Romans 10:9). "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Romans 10:13). How to Get a Clean Soul The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses the heart, and the Word (Greek-logos) of God cleanses the soul. "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you" Gohn 15:3). The way in which W(; apply God's Word to our souls is to study, memorize, and meditate on the Scriptures. In this way, we engraft the Word into our thoughts, emotions, and decisions. "Receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls" Games 1:21). 5 This inward process sets us apart from worldly influences and cleanses us for the life that Jesus Christ wants to live out through us. He prayed, "Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth" (John 17:17). How a Husband Can Cleanse the Soul of His Wife God instructs husbands to sanctify and cleanse their wives " ... with the washing of the water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26). In this passage, word is not logos, but rhema. A rhema is the inspired Word of God that the Holy Spirit gives to us for personal application. The difference between logos and rhema is illustrated in the account of Jesus telling Simon Peter to "launch out into the deep~ and let down your nets for a draught. And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word (rhema) I will let down the net. And when they had done this, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake" (Luke 5:4-6). In this passage the word that Jesus gave was a rhema. It was a direct instruction to be acted upon. The disciples did not fully apply it, because they let down only the smaller "net" rather than the larger "nets" that Jesus spoke of. When a husband receives "rhemas" from the Lord through his daily reading of the Bible and memorizes and meditates on them and applies them to his own life, a transforming "cleansing" also takes place in the soul of his wife, since they are actually "one flesh" (Matthew 19:5). In this same manner, Jesus sanctified himself for our sakes. "And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth" (John 17:19). A Testimony From One Who Did It When this husband tried to "cleanse his wife" by getting her to read God's Word, she reacted to him. He then began to concentrate on a personal program of memorization and meditation on key sections of Scripture. Here is his account. The first indication that something was happening as a result of my memorization and meditation on the rhemas of Scripture was a dramatic decrease in the power of sin in my life. Rather than defeat, there is continuing victory .... When I started, neither my wife nor my daughter had begun to abide in the Word. The changes that began to occur in me were astonishing, but things also began to happen in my wife that were equally amazing. For years she had struggled with fears, anger, hurt, and jealousy-almost to a debilitating degree. She had been prayed for and counseled many times with no lasting relief. We had basically given up any hope of freedom. As I began to memorize and meditate, her countenance began to brighten, her reactions to situations changed, and our relationship improved dramatically. She finally mentioned that she felt freer than she ever had in her life. I began to ask the Lord the reason for this newfound strength and growth in my wife, since she had not been memorizing and meditating. He eventually led me to restudy Ephesians 5:22-27. My focus had been wrong. I had viewed verse 22 as "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands." However, I left out" ... as unto the Lord." The emphasis is on looking to the Lord and submitting to Him, but viewing the submission to the husband as trust in the Lord. Summary • When were you cleansed by the blood of Christ? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (date) • Do you have a personal program of memorizing and meditating on Scripture? _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • What rhemas do you have for your life or family? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 6 2 A Pure Heart vs. a Double Heart Importance of a Pure Heart A pure heart is required to be in the presence of a holy God. "Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart ... " (Psalm 24:3-4). The reward of having a pure heart is knowing God in a personal and intimate way. By knowing Him, we will also be able to understand life as He sees it. "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8). The hindrance to a pure heart is a "double heart." God condemns this in Psalm 12:2: "They speak vanity every one with his neighbor: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak." The importance of a pure heart is that through it we are able to grasp and express genuine love to God and to others. Definition of a Pure Heart The word pure comes from the Greek word katharos, which means "pure, as being cleansed." This definition is amplified by a related verb, katharizo, meaning "to purify, to cleanse, to make free from admixture." Purity is measured by the percentage of the substance that matches the standard, being free from foreign elements. Thus, a pure heart is one that seeks God without double-mindedness or the distraction of other affections, that is, with the whole heart. God's love toward us is pure and is confirmed by the fact that He loved us when we hated Him. Purpose of a Pure Heart God requires a pure heart within those who come into His presence with requests in a time of need. This requirement is affirmed in Psalm 24:3--4 and also in the instruction to "flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (II Timothy 2:22). The ultimate purpose of a pure heart is to be able to love God and love others without any mixture of good and evil motives. "Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently" (I Peter 1:22). How to Get a Pure Heart 1. Get a Clear Conscience. The first step in getting a pure heart is to gain a clear conscience. This initial step is emphasized in James 4:8: " ... Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded." Paul emphasizes the importance of a clear conscience in I Timothy 1:5, 19: "Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned" and "Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck." Paul himself gave testimony of maintaining a clear conscience. "And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offense toward God, and toward men" (Acts 24:16). 2. Seek God With a Whole Heart. The second step toward a pure heart is to seek God with a whole heart. Any divided heart will grieve the Holy Spirit and quench His power in cleansing the mind, will, and emotions. The following references emphasize the importance of coming to God with a whole heart. ... 7 The Requirement of Seeking God With the Whole Heart • "I will praise thee, 0 LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works" (Psalm 9:1). • " ... I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation" (Psalm 111:1). • "Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart" (Psalm 119:2). • "With my whole heart have I sought thee: 0 let me not wander from thy commandments" (Psalm 119:10). • "Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart" (Psalm 119:34). • "I entreated thy favour with my whole heart: be merciful to me according to thy word" (Psalm 119:58). • "The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart" (Psalm 119:69). • "I cried with my whole heart; hear me, 0 LORD: I will keep thy statutes" (Psalm 119:145). • "I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee" (Psalm 138:1). Notice how David began seeking the Lord by praising Hirn with his whole heart and then searching out God's commandments with a whole heart. It is significant that God strengthened David's resolve to seek Hirn with a whole heart by raising up enemies that circulated evil reports and false rumors about him. Rather than getting bitter at his enemies, David renewed his purpose to keep God's precepts with his whole heart. 3. Cleanse Your Soul With Scripture. After getting a pure heart, a person must cleanse his soul with the Word of God. The potential of Scripture to purify the soul is explained in I Peter 1:22: "Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently." Without a pure heart and soul, it is not possible to have genuine love toward God or toward others. With a pure heart we can fulfill the invitation of Hebrews 10:22: "Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water." Summary • Do you sincerely desire a pure heart? _ _ _ Have you asked God for one? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Do you have a clear conscience? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Can anyone say that you offended..them and that you never tried to make it right? • Whom could you ask to keep you accountable to gain and maintain a clear conscience? • What wrong affections are diluting your ability to seek God with your whole heart? • How well do you know the Law of God, by which it is possible to cleanse your soul? 8 3 A Wise and Understanding Heart vs. a Foolish Heart Importance of a Wise and Understanding Heart To have skill and insight in making wise decisions. A wise heart is vital for one who has responsibility for the lives of others. Solomon recognized this when he was appointed king of Israel. Therefore, he made his request before God, "And now, 0 LoRD my God, thou hast made thy servant king ... Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad" (I Kings 3:7, 9). God answered his prayer and stated, "Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart ... " (I Kings 3:12). Every parent needs a wise and understanding heart, as well as every public leader, business executive, and pastor. Wisdom is especially necessary to carry out skilled work for the Lord. "And every wise-hearted man among them that wrought the work of the tabernacle ... " (Exodus 36:8). Definition of a Wise and Understanding Heart Wisdom is expressed in the Greek word sophia. It is a function of the spirit of man in union with the Spirit of God. Wisdom allows us to see life from God's perspective and to make decisions that are full of forethought and insight. God links wisdom with understanding. Understanding is recognizing cause-and-effect sequences. Whereas wisdom involves the perception of the spirit of what is right and appropriate, understanding brings in the knowledge to verify wisdom and make practical applications in daily decisions. "The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge ... " (Proverbs 15:14). This is illustrated in the skilled work of the tabernacle. "And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, To devise cunning works" (Exodus 31:3--4a). Understanding involves a knowledge of the nature of God and how it relates to practical living. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding" (Proverbs 9:10). Understanding is necessary in order to observe the law of God with the whole heart. "Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart" (Psalm 119:34). Understanding is a deeper awareness of reality than our natural reasoning can reveal. The disciples had heard the teaching of Jesus, but it was only when Jesus opened their understanding that they perceived the real meaning of the Scriptures. "Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the Scriptures" (Luke 24:45). Steps to Gain a Wise and Understanding Heart 1. Ask God for wisdom. God invites us to do this in James 1:5. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." God was pleased with Solomon's request, and just as He gave Solomon a wise and understanding heart, so will He do with us if we"... ask in faith, nothing wavering" Games 1:6a). 2. Obey parents and other authorities. When Jesus was twelve, a situation occurred that tested His obedience. Jesus' response was to submit to His parents, and He "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man" (Luke 2:52). Solomon warns that "the eye 9 that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it" (Proverbs 30:17). On the other hand, " ... A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother" (Proverbs 10:1; see also 27:11). 3. Memorize and meditate on Scripture. Scripture is the wisdom of God, and by it we have understanding. The more Scripture that is hidden in our hearts and engrafted into our souls, the more we will experience the success that comes from wisdom and understanding. The relationship between meditating on the Law of God and experiencing success is cl~arly established in the following passages. "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success" (Joshua 1:8). "But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper" (Psalm 1:2-3). The entire law of God can be summarized in two commandments. "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40). "The wise in heart will receive commandments ... " (Proverbs 10:8). Jesus promised that if we keep His commandments before our eyes, He will love us and make Himself known to us. "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him" (John 14:21). 4. Use discernment and good judgment for every decision. "The wise in heart shall be called prudent ... " (Proverbs 16:21). A prudent person knows what is appropriate and acceptable, especially in his choice of words and the recognition of moral danger. An example of understanding is not allowing situations to get us angry. "He that is slow to wrath is of good understanding . .. " (Proverbs 14:29). On the other hand," ... Whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul" (Proverbs 6:32). 5. Recognize the various types of fools. Scripture warns us not to be aligned with various types of fools, but only with wise people. "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed" (Proverbs 13:20). A fool follows his own reasoning and natural inclinations. He rejects the inspiration of God's wisdom and understanding "A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself" (Proverbs 18:2). How to_Use Wisdom and Understanding The test of a wise and understanding heart is the ability to make difficult decisions and give precise answers that others will immediately recognize as correct and full of insight. "The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips" (Proverbs 16:23). 1. BE SKILLED IN Goo's LAW AND HUMAN NATURE As soon as God gave Solomon a wise and understanding heart, it was tested by a conflict between two harlots. Each one claimed that a baby that had suffocated during the night was the other woman's baby. Each also claimed that the baby that had survived was her baby. (See I Kings 3:16-28.) Solomon might have applied the law of Leviticus that those who commit moral abomination should be cut off. (See Leviticus 18:29.) However, understanding 10 involves knowing the nature of God. Years later Solomon wrote, "Mercy and truth preserve the king: and his throne is upholden by mercy" (Proverbs 20:28). He chose, therefore, to show mercy to the harlots and devised a plan that would reveal the true mother. The plan was based on the predictability of human nature. When people heard of his decision, they were stunned by his insight and reverenced him as a wise and understanding ruler. 2. IDENTIFY JURISDICTIONS When the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with their question about paying taxes, Jesus called for a coin and asked, "Whose inscription is on this coin?" They answered, "C~sar's," He then gave the underlying principle that would answer their question. " ... Render therefore unto C~sar the things which are C~sar's; and unto God the things that are God's" (Matthew 22:21; see also vv. 16-22). When someone comes to you for counsel or asks you for direction, it is wise to determine whose jurisdiction they are under or who has jurisdiction over the area of their need. 3. DEFINE TERMS One who is wise in heart will make sure that every term is accurately defined and properly used. For example, if someone asks you if you are "pro-choice" or "pro-life," you must define the terms before you can answer the question. From a Biblical perspective both terms are faulty. God clearly gives us choices to make, and we must accept the responsibility for our decisions. If we make choices for other people, especially in regard to life and death, we are not "pro-choice," but "pro-dictatorship." Furthermore, choices involve consequences. Trying to escape the consequences of a choice is both unrealistic and irresponsible. The term pro-life is also inaccurate, because followers of God's Law must also support the death penalty for those guilty of murder. Remember that the one who frames the question usually wins the argument. 4. ASK Goo FOR INSIGHTS Wisdom involves seeing insights that others overlook. For example, an agnostic gave the following challenge to a wise pastor: "The Bible teaches that God created the earth about six to ten thousand years ago. Yet there is geological evidence that proves that the earth is much older. If you can solve this contradiction, I will come to your church." The wise pastor responded, "There is no problem to that seeming contradiction. When God created the earth, He created it with age already in it. For example, He created the trees already fullgrown, and He created the animals and man full-grown." The agnostic was stunned and attended church the following Sunday morning. 5. GATHER ALL THE FACTS A public official was severely criticized for not sponsoring a sodomite parade. The sodomites demanded, "Who are you to judge out lifestyle?" Research has been carried out on the longevity of sodomites. It confirms that the life expectancy of a sodomite is forty-two years-unless he has AIDS; then it is thirty-nine years. Based on this information, the official could have said, "We are not talking about different lifestyles; we are talking about half a lifestyle. My oath of office requires me to protect the health, safety, and welfare of our citizens." Summary • Have you asked God for a wise and understanding heart? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Do you have a consistent program of memorizing Scripture? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Do you know how to recognize and respond to various types of fools? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 11 Recognizing and Responding to Five Types of Fools The opposite of having a wise heart is having a foolish heart. Scripture warns that anyone who associates with a fool will be destroyed. Therefore, it is vital that we recognize the various types of fools and learn how to respond to each one. Solomon speaks of five different types of fools in the book of Proverbs and gives precise direction on how to deal with each one. This is valuable information for a wise counselor. TYPES 1 Simple Fool 2 Silly Fool 3 Sensual Fool 4 Scorning Fool CHARACTERISTICS • Believes every word • Give training in wisdom • Looks for a leader • Have father lead and praise • Ignorant of cause and effect • Teach principles of life • Is corrupted by scorning fools • Tell how scorners are punished • Seeks "a good time" • Train to be a "giver" vs. "taker" • Has fun breaking rules • Inform parents of misdeeds • Is committed to wrong friends • Separate from wrong friends • Has guilt for wrongdoing • Help to gain a clear conscience • Sneaks out with wrong friends • Turn over to court system • Is involved in drugs, wrong habits • Conquer three root problems • Engages in immorality • Break wrong "soul ties" • Skilled in deception • Learn to understand vs. trust • Gets simple fools to do evil • Confine to constant supervision • Despises rules and authorities • Public.J.y punish for crimes • Creates unrest and contention • Remove from contacts with others • Is proud of evil exploits • Require hard work, restitution 5 Committed • Has a seared conscience Fool 12 TREATMENT • Place in solitary confinement • Believes it is right to do wrong • Expose to laws of God, nature • Is skilled in argumentation • Refuse to argue; expose his folly • Seeks followers for self-gain • Warn others of his errors 4 A Broken and Contrite Heart vs. a Hard Heart Benefits of a Broken and Contrite Heart One who has a broken and contrite heart will maintain continual fellowship with the Lord, for "the LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18). The fellowship that God has with a broken and contrite heart is further defined in Isaiah 57:15: "For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones." Definition of a Broken and Contrite Heart The Greek word for broken is suntribo. It literally means "to rub together" as in iron rubbing against iron. "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend" (Proverbs 27:17). A broken heart involves the deep grief and anguish that comes with the awareness of God's holiness and man's sinfulness. The word broken means "to shatter in pieces"-as was done by Mary to the alabaster box, which then released the fragrance of the perfume to all who were in the house. Brokenness also relates to removing the chains around a person's heart. "Is not this the fast that I have chosen, to loose the bands of wickedness .. ?" (Isaiah 58:6). · Contrite comes from the Hebrew word daka. It means to be bruised, humbled, broken in spirit, cast down. A contrite heart is a humble heart. It is sorrowful and remorseful over the condition and consequences of sin. Types of a Broken and Contrite Heart 1. For our personal transgressions. As believers, we are to regularly examine the condition of our heart and repent over all our sins and transgressions. " ... Those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man" (Matthew 15:18). " ... Out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man" (Mark 7:21-23). If we fail to repent over our sin, we will be like those spoken of in Isaiah 29:13: "Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men." 2. For the transgressions of others. Our hearts should be broken not only for our own sins, but also for the sins of others. It is this brokenness that allows us to intercede for sinners and to effectively communicate with them. " ... With lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad ... " (Ezekiel 13:22). What Causes Hardness of Heart? • Setting up idols in our hearts. " ... These men have set up their idols in their heart, and put the stumbling block of their iniquity before their face: should I be enquired of at all by them? Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord 13 GoD; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the LORD will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols; That I may take the house of Israel in their own heart, because they are all estranged from me through their idols" (Ezekiel 14:3-5). "Because they despised my judgments, and walked not in my statutes, but polluted my sabbaths: for their heart went after their idols" (Ezekiel 20:16). Consequences of a Hard Heart Those who fail to have a broken heart but instead develop a hard heart, store up wrath for the future. "But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God" (Romans 2:5). How to Develop a Broken and Contrite Heart 1. CONSIDER A FATHER'S DISCIPLINE God compares His chastening to that of a loving father. If we disobey God's laws, He will seek to bring us to repentance through wise and loving discipline. "Thou shalt also consider in thy heart, as a man chasteneth his son, so the LORD thy God chasteneth thee" (Deuteronomy 8:5). "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son in whom he receiveth" (Hebrews 12:6). Our hearts should be as responsive to God's discipline as they are to a wise father's discipline. This means that we must recognize when God allows things to happen in order to discipline us. 2. Goo's LAW If we compare our behavior with that of others, we might have reason to be self righteous. However, if we continually measure ourselves by the holy law of God, we will experience a broken and contrite heart. " ... Whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed" (James 1:25). LOOK INTO THE MIRROR OF 3. OBEY THE PROMPTINGS OF Goo's HOLY SPIRIT One of the ministries of the Holy Spirit is to" ... reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment" (John 16:8). His conviction will be experienced in our heart." ... If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things" (I John 3:26). If we respond to His conviction, we will have a broken and contrite heart. However, if we resist His work, we will grieve Him and develop a hard heart. The Holy Spirit will begin convicting us for wrong thoughts. Therefore, Simon was told, " ... Pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee" (Acts 8:22). 4. ACCEPT THE REPROACH OF ENEMIES One of the secrets of David's broken and contrite heart was his response to the reproach that was heaped upon him by his many enemies. He testifies, "Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness ... " (Psalm 69:20). Many of David's adversaries were the result of his past sins. When Shimei cursed David, David recognized that God had "commanded" Shimei to curse him and trusted God to turn his reproach into future benefit. He constantly reminded himself," ... I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me" (Psalm 109:22). 14 5. ENDURE THE HARSHNESS OF AUTHORITIES All those who are entrusted with the care of others should be kind. However, in reality, this will not always be the case. Even though these authorities abuse their power, we will be benefited if we recognize that God is working through them to create in us a broken and contrite heart. Thus, the prophet states, "It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach. For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies" (Lamentations 3:27-32). 6. LIVE IN THE FEAR OF Goo The fear of the Lord is the constant awareness that God is watching and evaluating everything I think, say, and do. It is knowing that He will give me a just reward for all that I do. Based on this knowledge, we are instructed, "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off" (Proverbs 23:17-18). 7. VISIT THE "HOUSE OF MOURNING" "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning" (Ecclesiastes 7:4). This is true because the way of the wicked and the consequences of their evil choices will cause a wise-hearted person to grieve. Such mourning, however, can result in purpose for life if we ailow it to motivate us to help the people who are reaping the consequences of wrong choices. There is a significant passage in Luke 6: " ... Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh" (v. 21) and " ... Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep" (v. 25). The first type of weeping is a proper mourning over sin and its consequences. Later, there will be a laugh of victory and rejoicing. The second laugh is a silly, frivolous laugh that results in a weeping of despair and loss. 8. ARRANGE FOR DAILY ACCOUNTABILITY We will never have a broken and contrite heart without regular accountability to those who have the freedom to point out our blind spots. We are instructed to" ... exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13). The wounds of a friend are faithful. 9. PREPARE FOR PARTICIPATION AT THE LORD'S TABLE The Communion table is a divine provision for maintaining a broken and contrite heart. In order to properly participate in the Lord's Table, we must first thoroughly examine ourselves and clear any offenses between God and others. Failure to do this will result in serious physical and spiritual consequences."For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep" (I Corinthians 11:29-30). 10. EXPECT THOSE You LOVE AND TRUST TO TURN AGAINST You Remember that the purpose of a broken heart is to draw us closer to the Lord. When He sees that we are becoming too dependent on others, He will often remove them and allow circumstances that will cause them to turn against us. This was David's repeated experience as revealed by the following passages. 15 "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me" (Psalm 41:9). "For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company" (Psalm55:12-14). David's response to these unexpected enemies was to call upon God. "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice" (Psalm 55:17). Summary • Would those who know you best say that your heart is somewhat hard? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Have you asked God for a broken and contrite heart? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • What chastening experiences has God brought into your life? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • How often do you observe the Lord's Table? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • How do you prepare yourself for Communion? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • What experiences has God allowed that have broken your heart? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ How to Help Others Have a Broken and Contrite Heart The ministry of counseling and preaching is for the purpose of helping people break up the "fallow ground" of their heart. However, as a person listens to sermons week after week, it is very possible for them to develop a resistance to the truth. In agricultural terms, this would be a "plow pan." 1. RECOGNIZE #PLOW PANS" OF THE HEART In farming, a plow pan is a hard surface that develops at the depth to which the ground is plowed. This hard surface hinders the roots from going deeper and causes water to run off without going into the soil. For the ground to produce better crops, these plow pans must be broken up. We can break up the fallow ground by spending time before the Lord in prayer and fasting. Or we can let God break up the plow pan through problems, sharp rebukes of others, or even disasters. God instructs us to "sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you" (Hosea 10:12). 2. APPEAL TO THE CONSCIENCE OF THE LISTENER Information can appeal to the mind of the person, and touching stories may appeal to the emotions of a person; however, the Apostle Paul appealed to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Appealing to the conscience involves exposing the hidden sins and secrets within a person's life. It involves answering questions and revealing information that forces a person to face the true condition of his heart and soul. Nathan appealed to the conscience of David when he described the wicked actions of a neighbor and then said, "Thou art the man." Jesus appealed to the conscience of the woman at the well when he said, "Go call thy husband" and then went on to tell her that she had five husbands and the one she was living with was not her husband. (See John 4:18). 16 3. GET PERMISSION BEFORE APPEALING TO THEIR CONSCIENCE In order to appeal to the conscience, you must ask private and personal questions. If a person is not ready or willing to answer these questions, he will react to you as being too forward. The person must know that you are concerned for his welfare. He must also have confidence that you can provide lasting answers to his problems. Only then will it be appropriate to appeal to his conscience. Begin by saying, "May I ask you a personal question?" 4. PREPARE PRECISE QUESTIONS The following questions can be used to appeal to a person's conscience. • Are there things you have done wrong that your parents don't know about? (As long as you keep these secrets, Satan is given authority in your life. But once you confess and forsake them, you will be free from Satan's power.) • Can anyone point a finger at you and say, "You offended me, and you have never tried to make it right"? • If I were to ask your parents, would they say that you have an obedient spirit, or would they say that you have a strong will? • Have you ever stolen things from stores or homes, or have you ever damaged property and not asked forgiveness or made restitution? 5. PRODUCE CONVICTION FROM PUBLIC TESTIMONIES In his Revival Lectures, Charles Finney makes the observation that if farmers planned for crops the way the Church plans for revival, we would all have starved long ago. He went on to explain and demonstrate in his ministry that revivals don't just happen, they follow spiritual laws, similar to the laws of the harvest. One of these laws is the power of personal testimonies to produce the conviction of sin. Paul told the Corinthian church that if they were all speaking in tongues and an unbeliever came into the church, he would think they were all mad. However, if they were all proclaiming what God had done in their lives, the visitor will be convicted of his secret sins and repent. "And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest; and so falling down on his face, he will worship God, and report that God is in you of a truth" (I Corinthians 14:23-25). Genuine and lasting results have come during revivals in youth groups from the testimonies of those who have gotten their hearts right before the Lord. The counselor would first appeal to the consciences of influential young people and help them make personal decisions such as getting back under authority, clearing their consciences, forgiving their offenders, and yielding their rights. When five or six young people made genuine decisions, the youth leader would ask them if they would be willing to give their testimonies before a group. During that group meeting, he would ask for all those who had made decisions to come forward to give their testimony. Several would come that he had not counted on. When the testimonies were given, others in the group would become convicted, make decisions, and then come up to give their testimonies. After several hours of this, many hardened hearts would be broken. No wonder Paul instructed the believers at Corinth that whenever they came together in a meeting, they should each be ready to contribute a psalm, a piece of teaching, or a spiritual truth in order that all may be edified. (See I Corinthians 14:26.) This same procedure was followed in several other youth groups with similar results. The key to this working is cooperating with the Holy Spirit in appealing to the conscience of a person. 17 5 A Tender Heart vs. a Bitter Heart Importance of a Tender Heart God promises to hear ~he prayers of one who has a t~nder heart. This assurance is given in the account of King Josiah. Josiah was made the king at the age of eight. At the age of sixteen, "he began to seek after the God of David his father ... " (II Chronicles 34:3). At the age of twenty he began to cleanse his jurisdiction by tearing down idols and high places in the land. Six years later he began to repair the temple. It was then that the Law of God was discovered. When the Law was read, King Josiah rent his clothes because of God's coming judgment. He then sent a messenger to Huldah the prophetess to inquire of God. God's answer is significant. He told Josiah that He would hear his prayer, not because he had sought the Lord or cleansed Israel or repaired the temple, but because he had a tender heart. (See II Chronicles 34:19-27.) Definition of a Tender Heart A tender heart is a forgiving heart, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians4:32). Refusing to forgive an offender produces a hard and bitter heart. The close association between a tender heart and prayer is seen in Mark 11:25. "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." The Greek word for tender is hapalos. It means "soft." It is used by Jesus to describe the young shoots of a fig tree at springtime. "Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh" (Matthew 24:32). The word is also used to describe young children who need protection because of the vibrant potential that they possess. (See Genesis 33:13.) A hard heart and a tender heart are described in the following passage. "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, t,ut is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy" (James 3:14-17). How Is a Tender Heart Related to God's Nature? The word tender is often combined with the word mercy to describe the nature and work of the Lord. Ten times in the Psalms, David appeals to the tender mercies of the Lord. Examples are Psalm 25:6, "Remember, 0 LORD, thy tender mercies and thy loving kindnesses; for they have been ever of old," and Psalm 51:1, "Have mercy upon me, 0 God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions." How Does the Lack of a Tender Heart Hinder Prayer? The apostle Peter warns husbands to give honor unto the wife " ... as unto the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered" (I Peter 3:7). Furthermore, when we pray the Lord's Prayer and do not forgive our offender(s), we are actually praying that God will not forgive us, because the prayer states, " ... Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors" (Matthew 6:12), 18 How to Develop a Tender Heart 1. PICTURE THE HOLINESS OF Goo When Isaiah saw the Lord high and lifted up, he exclaimed," ... Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts" (Isaiah 6:5). When Peter first met Jesus and saw his miraculous works, his spontaneous response was, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, 0 Lord" (Luke 5:8). 2. CONTRAST OUR SIN WITH THE WRONGS OF OUR OFFENDERS It is easy for us to become bitter toward those who offend us by magnifying their faults and offenses. However, when we compare them to the willful sins and iniquities that we have committed against a holy God, there is little else to say other than what the publican said in the temple: "God be merciful to me a sinner" (Luke 18:13). The parable of the wicked servant should motivate us to contrast our sins with those of our offenders. (See Matthew 18:21-35). 3. EXPERIENCE THE MERCY OF THE LORD When the wicked servant was called in by his master and told to pay his huge debt, he did not ask for mercy; he simply asked for an extension of time. "The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all" (Matthew 18:26). Because this servant did not ask for mercy, he was not able to show mercy to the fellow servant who owed him a little amount. Instead, he threw him into debtors' prison and incurred the wrath of the master who had forgiven him so much. The master, therefore, threw him in prison and brought in the tormentors to help him realize that he could never pay his debt. His only choice was to plead for mercy. After David sinned, he majored on the mercy of the Lord. "Have mercy upon me, 0 God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions" (Psalm 51:1). 4. FULLY FORGIVE ALL OFFENDERS A tender heart requires that we forgive all those who have offended us. God further mandates that it be a sincere and full forgiveness from the heart. (See Matthew 18:34-35.) 5. DISCOVER WHY Goo LET IT HAPPEN Bitterness blinds our ability to forgive our offender, or God, for letting it happen. However, Scripture states that " ... all things work together for good ... " (Romans 8:28). This even includes offenses. In order to understand how things work together for good, we need to identify benefits that God intended from the offense. For example, a seventeen-year-old boy was very bitter at a relative for physically abusing him when he was four years old. He refused to forgive the relative or God. He flatly stated, "God allowed it to happen; therefore, He was not there when I needed Him. Why should I trust Him now?" It was explained to him that there are three parts of a person's being, his spirit, his soul, and his body. (See I Thessalonians 5:23.) Then he was asked which is the most important of these three. He said, "The spirit." Then he was asked which is the next most important part of our being. He said, "The soul." Both answers were affirmed as correct. Finally he was asked what is the least important part of our being. He replied, "The body." Again his answer was affirmed with Scripture: " ... Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day" (II Corinthians 4:16). It was then pointed out to 19 him that if he did not fully forgive his offender, he was allowing that offender to damage not only his body, but also his soul and spirit. He stated that he did not want this to happen. At this point a truth was given to him that changed his whole heart. If God allows your body to be damaged, He compensates your loss by giving you a far greater power and ability in your spirit and in your soul. An example of this is Daniel. He was brought as a prisoner to Babylon and made a eunuch, which meant that he would never be able to have any children. However, in compensation God gave him a mighty spirit and soul. He served four kings and understood great spiritual truths. Based on this truth, the boy prayed and dedicated his body, soul, and spirit to the Lord Jesus Christ. He not only forgave his offender but also asked God to have mercy on him. QUESTIONS TO DETERMINE WHY Goo LET IT HAPPEN 1. What character qualities can I learn from this offense? Most offenses will give us the opportunity to learn many character qualities, including self-control, kindness, meekness, gentleness, and patience. 2. How will the offense help me become more like Christ? All things work together for good to conform us to the image of Christ. He experienced every type of offense. As we experience what He did, we learn more about Him and receive a greater measure of His grace. 3. What "child training" does this achieve in me? Often our offenses are the result of our own failures or transgressions. The resulting wounds from others are God's way of chastening us-as He said He will do in Hebrews 12. 4. How can this offense prepare me to help others? One of the important reasons that God allows offenses is to give us comfort and counsel that we in tum can share with others when they go through similar trials. This purpose is explained in IT Corinthians 1:3-4. 5. How will this prepare me for leadership? God promises that if we suffer with Him, we will reign with Him. (See II Timothy 2:12.) Suffering will also establish us in the faith. (See I Peter 5:10.) In a more immediate sense, if God allows a person to be offended by an authority who misuses his power, it may well be God's preparation so that when that person becomes a leader, he will not do to those under his care what was done to him. Summary • Would those who know you best say you have a tender heart? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Can you recall individuals who have deeply hurt you? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Can you list five benefits from your greatest offense? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • Do you want God to give you a tender heart? • Have you fully forgiven your offenders? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • How can you benefit your offender? 20 6 A Meek and Lowly Heart vs. a Proud Heart Benefit of a Meek and Lowly Heart This heart is the only one that the Lord Jesus used to describe His personal disposition and to give us a greater understanding of Who He is. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" (Matthew 11:29). As we learn about this heart, not only will we understand more about the Lord Jesus Christ, but we will also experience the rest in our souls that He promises. Why Jesus Chose This Heart to Describe Himself In one sense the war in Heaven is between the pride of Satan and the humility of Jesus. It was the pride of Satan that caused him to be thrown out of Heaven (" ... I will be like the Most High" [Isaiah 14:14; see also v. 131), and it was that same spirit of pride that caused Adam and Eve to fall into sin(" ... Ye shall be as gods ... [Genesis 3:5]). In coming into the world to pay the terrible price for sin, Jesus laid aside His glory and humbled Himself to become a servant of all. It is this mind-set that He wants every believer to have. "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God,_ thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross" (Philippians 2:5-8). In our day there is a concerted effort to bring God down to the level of man and exalt man to the level of God. The meek and lowly heart does just the opposite. It widens the gap between the highness of God and the lowness of man, thus preparing the way for true fellowship between God and man." ... I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit ... " (Isaiah 57:15). Definition of a Meek and Lowly Heart Meekness is praos in the Greek and denotes "gentleness." It is a disposition of the heart toward God that fully and immediately accepts the will of the Father in all matters. Meekness involves yielding our rights. Meekness is placing our strength under God's control in the same way that a horse obeys the slightest direction of its rider. Lowly is tapeinophrosune, which means "humbleness of mind." Meekness can function only out of a humble heart. Thus, the two must function together. True lowliness is in not thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought to, but accepting the assessment that God has assigned to us in our calling. The calling of Jesus was to be a servant of all, and this, He explained to His disciples, is the key to true greatness. Definition of Pride There are several operational definitions of pride, such as "believing that I have achieved what God and others have done for me" and "building all of life around myself and refusing to recognize God as God." However, the aspect of pride that contrasts a meek and lowly heart is reserving to myself the right to make final decisions. Often a believer will dedicate his life to the Lord but keep one small area in which he can be the boss. This violates a meek and lowly heart. 21 Case Study: How AN EATING DISORDER WAS RESOLVED BY CONQUERING PRIDE A vibrant teenage girl shocked a counselor by explaining that she had regular thoughts of suicide. No one had any idea that such thoughts would be in her mind. After further discussion with the counselor, she also revealed that she had a major problem with bulimia. She was asked when this problem began, and she related the following story. Several years earlier she was sitting at the dinner table with an unfinished plate of food. Her mother told her to finish the food on her plate. The girl said "No," and the mother replied, "You will have to sit at the table until you finish." The girl rebelled inside, which gave "ground" to Satan. A