Effective Counseling - Part Four PDF

1\huancrh Wraining 1Jnntitutr of Am.erica A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counse[ing PART FOUR A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PART FOUR 1 The Importance of Turning Statements Into Questions .. 3 2 How to Turn Statements Into Precise Questions ........... 4 3 The Basic Ele...

1\huancrh Wraining 1Jnntitutr of Am.erica A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counse[ing PART FOUR A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PART FOUR 1 The Importance of Turning Statements Into Questions .. 3 2 How to Turn Statements Into Precise Questions ........... 4 3 The Basic Elements of a Precise Question .................. 5 4 How Jesus Used Precise Questions in Counseling ........ 6 5 How to Earn the Right to Ask Personal Questions ........ 8 6 How to Use Questions Which Get to Root Problems ....... 9 7 The Responsibility That Comes With Precise Answers .. 16 8 The Ten Cardinal Rules of Cross Examination ............ 17 9 Counseling Quiz on Turning Statements to Questions .. 31 The learned doctors in the Temple were amazed at Jesus' understanding and His ability to ask questions. They found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers" (Luke 2:46-47). 0 • 2 •• WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO TURN STATEMENTS INTO QUESTIONS? • .A statement causes the listener to evaluate your thoughts. • A question causes the listener to evaluate his own thoughts. Effective counseling is leading a person to make right decisions. The first step in this process is helping the person examine his own thoughts in the light of God's truth. Precise questions can accomplish this objective, whereas statements tend to cause the listener to analyze you and your ideas. • A statement made before knowing all the facts is folly. • A question asked before knowing all the facts is wise. It is all too easy to hear a few facts and then make a judgment. $uch a response is both folly and shame. On the other hand, using questions to seek out knowledge is both prudent and wise. (See Proverbs 18:13, 15.) • A statement indicates that you have come to a conclusion. • A question indicates that you are still considering the matter. As long as you are still open for information, a person will feel free to share his thoughts with you. But when you start making statements, your listener will become guarded and feel that you are closed to further ideas. • A statement indicates that it is time for a decision. • A question guides the listener to a decision. There is a time when accurate statements should be made. However, you must be certain that your listener is ready to receive them and to make wise decisions based upon them. • An inaccurate statement causes the listener to reject you. • An inaccurate question allows the listener to instruct you. When you do not allow your listener to tell you all the facts he thinks are important, he will question your motives and react to your lack of love. 3 HOW TO TURN STATEMENTS INTO PRECISE QUESTIONS Turning a statement into a question is easy to do. It usually requires only a few word changes. However, it also requires a mind change. You must learn to think in terms of questions and studiously avoid premature mental conclusions. The title above can be turned into a question by changing to to can you. It will then read "How can you turn statements into precise questions?" 4 STATEMENTS QUESTIONS From your actions, you are not being obedient to your parents. If I were to ask your parents, would they say that you are obedient? It was inconsiderate of you not to tell your host that you would be an hour late. Was it considerate of you not to tell your host that you would be an hour late? You seem to have an attitude of pride. Would you say you have an attitude of pride? It appears to me that you need to become a Christian. When was the time that you became a Christian? Your clothes are not appropriate for this occasion. Are your clothes appropriate for this occasion? You need to forgive the one who hurt you. Do you need to forgive the one who hurt you? You are angry. Are you angry? WHAT ARE THE BASIC ELEMENTS OF A PRECISE QUESTION? The same question can be asked in many different ways. Some ways can be unnecessarily offensive, while other ways can be very effective. The primary dangers of asking questions are being too general or too personal. To ask a new acquaintance, "Are you having a good year?" would be too general, because this question does not specify an area such as business, family, or health. However, if you asked him," Are you and your wife getting along?" your question would be too personal. 1. A PRECISE QUESTION IS CONCISE. Notice the conciseness of Jesus' questions. "Why do ye think evil in your hearts?" "Believe ye that I am able to do this?" "What went ye out in the wilderness for to see?" "Have ye not read what David did?" If Jesus asked a longer question, He often prepared his listeners for it with a shorter question, such as, "What thinkest thou, Simon?" The longer your question, the greater the danger of diverting your listeners' attention from the real point of your question. 2. A PRECISE QUESTION IS CLEAR. Each word in your question must be carefully chosen on the basis of how it would be understood by your listener. Certain words or expressions may have one meaning to you but a completely different meaning to your hearer. Words should be as simple to understand as possible. It is wise to avoid slang, cliches, or language fads. 3. A PRECISE QUESTION IS DISCREET. It is always wise to allow the one you begin counseling to volunteer details rather than asking for them. If you ask "Do you and your father get along well?" he can answer yes or no or give further details if he feels safe in doing so. Discreet questions are especially important when probing moral failure. Rather than asking "How have you failed morally?" you should ask, "Have there been moral failures that you wish had not taken place?" 5 HOW DID JESUS DEMONSTRATE THE USE OF PRECISE QUESTIONS? Throughout His earthly ministry, the Lord Jesus Christ used precise questions to give counsel, to clarify truth, to reveal wrong attitudes, to convict of sin, and to expose His critics. The following are a few examples. TO ANSWER UNSPOKEN REACTION When Jesus healed a man sick with the palsy and said, "Son, be of good cheer, thy sins be forgiven thee," the scribes inwardly reacted and concluded, "This man blasphemeth." Jesus knew their thoughts and could have said, "You are thinking evil of me." Instead He put those words in a question: "Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?" Then He asked a thought-provoking question: "For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk?" (Matthew 9:2-5) TO ENCOURAGE FAITH Two blind men followed Jesus and cried out, "Thou Son of David, have mercy on us." It would have been easy for Jesus simply to touch their eyes and heal them; instead, He asked them a question which would allow them to publicly affirm their faith in the fact that Jesus was the Son of God and, therefore, had the power to heal. "Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto Him, Yea, Lord" (Matthew 9:27-28). Salvation comes by belief in the heart and open confession of Jesus as Lord. (See Romans 10:9-13.) TO HONOR A GREAT MAN After John the Baptist had been put in prison, his disciples asked Jesus if He was truly the Messiah. Jesus answered their question and then used a series of questions to recognize the greatness of John the Baptist. "... What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings' houses. But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet" (Matthew 11:7-9). 6 TO CORRECT UNFOUNDED CRITICISM When the Pharisees criticized the disciples of Jesus for picking and eating corn on the Sabbath day, He could have defended His disciples by stating, "It is not wrong for them to do this." Instead, He asked the Pharisees questions which forced them to come to that conclusion: "Have ye not read what David did, when he was an hungered, and they that were with him; How he entered into the house of God, and did eat the shewbread, which was not lawful for him to eat, neither for them which were with him, but only for the priests? Or have ye not read in the law, how that on the sabbath days the priests in the temple profane the sabbath, and are blameless?" These questions prepared the Pharisees for the statement that"... the Son of man is Lord even of the sabbath day" (Matthew 12:3-8). TO REMOVE HIS ENEMIES' ARGUMENTS In an attempt to accuse Jesus of breaking the Law, the synagogue leaders asked Him if it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath day. It would have been easy for Jesus to answer that it was lawful. However, He first asked them a question to expose their inaccurate frame of reference."... What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out? How much then is a man better than a sheep?" After these questions, His conclusion was irrefutable: "... It is lawful to do well on the sabbath days" (Matthew 12:9-12). TO CLARIFY TRUTH Because Jesus was the King of Israel, He should not have had to pay taxes. When the tax collectors asked Peter if Jesus paid taxes, he quickly said "Yes." Jesus could have privately told Peter he was wrong; instead, He asked him a teaching question. "What thinkest thou, Simon? of whom do the kings of the earth take custom or tribute? of their own children, or of strangers?" Peter answered "Of strangers." Jesus concluded "Then are the children free" (Matthew 17:25-26). On the matter of paying taxes, Jesus could have commanded, "Pay your taxes." Instead He helped His disciples and His critics come to the same conclusion with a question about a coin: "Whose is this image and superscription?" The people answered "Caesar's." At that point He made the statement, "... Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's (Matthew 22:20-21). 7 HOW TO EARN THE RIGHT TO ASK PERSONAL QUESTIONS There are times during a counseling session that personal questions should be asked. One of the primary reasons that people are having problems is that they are hiding secret sins and past failures. Scripture warns "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and Jorsaketh them shall have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Secret sins must be confessed both to the Lord and to those individuals who have been wronged. For example, when a son or daughter commits a secret sin, he or she offends not only God but also the parents. Freedom of conscience usually comes to that individual when the sins have been confessed to the parents as well as to God. The reason a counselee\ should tell you about his failure is that you may need to help him explain the root problem to his authorities and make sure he confesses the whole sin-not just part of it. Partial confession produces shame and no real freedom. Full confession produces humility, full freedom, and the grace to overcome future failures. "... God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble" (James 4:6). Sometimes it is necessary for you to prepare the husband, wife, or parents for a confession which they will hear. Your instruction to them would involve helping them see any ways that they have contributed to the problem and preparing them ahead of time to grant forgiveness when it is requested. At this time it is also good to explain the character benefits which can result from their unconditional forgiveness and Biblical disciplines that should be initiated in order to avoid repetition of the problem. PATIENT LISTENING AND WISE QUESTIONS The more time you take to listen to a person's problems, the more freedom you will have to ask personal questions. As you listen to information, it is important to recall cause-and-effect sequences so you are able to ask insightful questions. For example, if parents are telling you about problems they are having with their son or daughter, you should remember the Scripture, "Honour thy father and thy mother ... that it may go well with thee ... " (Deuteronomy 5:16). Because things are not going well with these parents, you could ask the question "When you were growing up, did you honor your father and mother?" 8 HOW TO USE PRECISE QUESTIONS TO GET TO ROOT PROBLEMS God's goal for every believer is spiritual maturity. This goal also became the commission for the Apostle Paul, who labored and travailed as in birth that Christ might be formed in every believer. (See Galatians 4:19.) Maturity can be measured by a series of Scriptural commitments. They follow the growth of the believer from his salvation to his ability to reproduce his maturity in the lives of others. 1. QUESTIONS ON SALVATION D What were the events which led up to your salvation? This question is designed for a religious person who has a background in church. He probably assumes that he is a Christian because of his church affiliation; however, from his attempts to answer the question, you will be able to quickly discern whether or not he understands the new birth in Christ. D Have you had doubts about your salvation? Whatever answer is given for the first question does not hinder the effectiveness of this question. Doubts can come to both Christians and nonChristians. If a person really is a Christian, Satan will try to get him to doubt it. If he is not a Christian, God will bring doubts to his spirit. In either case, the doubts can be resolved by his going through the steps of salvation. D Would you like to remove the doubts? A large majority of people do have doubts from time to time about their salvation. These doubts can be resolved first by their understanding what constitutes genuine conversion and then understanding the distinction between the spirit and the soul. Salvation occurs when a person repents and believes on the Lord Jesus Christ. Based on his acceptance of Christ as the atonement for his sin, a person is born again of the Spirit. (See John 3:6.) Growth in the Christian life continues as the soul is transformed by the Word of God. The soul involves the mind, will, and emotions. We are to "... receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save [our] souls" (James 1:21). 9 2. QUESTIONS ON DEDICATION D Since salvation, have you dedicated your body to God? In the book of Romans, salvation is described in chapters 1, 2, and 3. Then, in chapter 12, we are given the following instruction: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:1-2). D What is hindering you from total dedication? Presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice is a one-time act. It means that we no longer live for ourselves; instead, we experience daily dying to self so we may know Christ more intimately in "... the power of his resurrec- tion, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death" (Philippians 3:10). Satan will do all he can to hinder a believer from dedicating his life. He will bring wrong ideas from the strongholds that he controls in the soul of the believer. For this reason it is important to find out what ground was given to Satan before or after salvation and then take the necessary steps to ask God to regain it. Because of these strongholds, a counselee will express reasons for not dedicating his body to the Lord. These may include not wanting to give up a wrong friendship or sinful activity. Satan may also convince him that he will be unable to maintain his commitment (not realizing that as he obeys God, God will give him the desire and power to do His will). D Have you been baptized since you believed? Baptism is an outward expression of inward faith in Christ. Every believer should be baptized. Baptism symbolizes the third step of the birth process and the attitude toward life that comes through total dedication. Going down into the baptismal waters symbolizes one's dying to self. Coming out of the baptismal waters is a picture of resurrection with Christ and being seated with Him above all principalities and powers. Baptism can be likened to the washing that occurs in the life of a baby when it is born. First the child comes out of the womb-a symbol of belief, and then he begins to cry-a symbol of confession with the mouth, and then he is washed. (See Romans 10:9-13.) 10 3. QUESTIONS ON SELF-ACCEPTANCE D If you could do it, would you change your appearance? Most people, especially teenagers, have not accepted the unchangeable features that God gave to them. Their rejection of these features also affects their attitudes about God. If they cannot accept the design, they will find it difficult to trust the Designer. The answer to the above question is usually "Yes." If this is the case, and you believe it is appropriate to ask the following question, do so. D Would you feel free to tell me what you would change? This is a very delicate question. That is why you do not ask, "What would you change?" Asking the question this way allows the person to choose whether he wants to answer the question or not. The ten "unchangeables" are parents, physical features, mental capacity, gender, brothers and sisters, birth order, national origin, time in history, aging, an9- death. The "unchangeable" that is most often cited involves physical features such as height, bone structure, skin color, or some physical defect. Once a person has told you what he would change, it is important for you to lead him through the steps of self-acceptance. These steps can be found in the Basic Seminar Textbook and Workbook and the How to Discover Life Purpose Through Self-Acceptance Booklet in the Basic Seminar Follow-Up Course. 4. QUESTIONS ON AUTHORITY D If I asked your parents, would they say you are obedient? Asking a son or daughter to view his behavior through the eyes of his parents is usually far more accurate than asking him if he feels he is obedient. Today a general spirit of independence pervades young people. They receive their instructions on how to live from peers rather than parents. D Have you ever put your will under your spirit? God's Spirit unites with our spirits at salvation. He wants to be the one in charge of our minds, wills, and emotions. Usually a conscious act of prayer is required for one to bring his mind, will, and emotions under the control of God's Spirit. If a person does not bring his mind under God's Spirit, he will always have questions that cannot be answered. If his emotions are not under his spirit, he will be controlled by them. If he does not bring his will under God's control, he will always wonder what God's will is. 11 HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PRIVATE INFORMATION When you ask precise questions, you will receive private information. This information is a privileged trust from the one who gave it to you. It must be carefully and wisely handled in light of the following factors. NEVER BE SWORN TO SECRECY. If any person says to you, "Promise not to tell anyone," that is a promise you should not make. He may tell you things that you have a legal responsibility to report to government officials or a moral responsibility to tell parents, employers, or others. He may also tell you things that are not true, and he does not want you to tell others because you will find out they are false. Your response should be, "I cannot promise not to tell, but I will promise that if other people need to know about it, we will work together in telling them." If the law, parents, employers, or others should be told this information, you can work with the person on what to say and be with him when he says it. NEVER BETRAY THE TRUST OF PRIVACY. Aside from information that should be given to those who are responsible for it, there is much information that should never be shared with others. You will have a strong desire to use previous examples as you counsel other individuals with similar problems. However, this must not be done unless you first obtain permission to do so, If the person gives you permission, let other people know about that permission before you give the account. Otherwise, people who hear it will feel uncomfortable and will not trust you as their counselor. The best person to reveal what happens during a counseling session is not you; it is the one who was helped. Encourage each person to write out what happened, and work with each one on making this testimony as clear and helpful as possible to others who might read it. 16 HOW RULES OF CROSS-EXAMINATION RELATE TO COUNSELING In the courtroom, cross-examination is a lawyer's most powerful method of searching out the truth. There are ten cardinal rules that a skilled attorney will use in the cross-examination of witnesses. Sometimes people will come to you with their problems, but they neither want your help nor plan to follow your counsel. They simply want you to agree with them, or they plan to misquote you, or they want to tell others who are putting pressure on them that they talked to you. These people are often untruthful, and it is because of such people that you must understand and use the rules of cross-examination. 1 NEVER ASK A QUESTION TO WHICH YOU DO NOT ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER. We learn this important rule from God when He cross-examined Cain. "And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother?" God knew where Abel was, and He knew that Cain knew where Abel was. Cain responded to God's question with a lie and a diversionary question: "I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?" God then asked Cain a second question to which He already knew the answer: "What hast thou done?" Finally, God brought out the convicting evidence: "The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground. And now art thou cursed ... " (Genesis 4:9-11). In order to follow this rule, we must become thoroughly informed about all the facts related to the questions we want to ask. Becoming informed requires diligent research. However, God requires such diligence of anyone who is in a position of leadership. "And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother; Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you" (Deuteronomy 19:18-19). 17 Peter also demonstrated this rule when he questioned Sapphira, the wife of Ananias. Earlier in the day, Ananias had brought a gift to the disciples. He claimed that it was the full price of the land which he and his wife had sold; however, the Holy Spirit revealed to Peter that Ananias was not telling the truth. Peter rebuked Ananias for his lie, and he died. Three hours later, Sapphira came, not knowing what had happened to her husband. Peter asked her a question, but he already knew the answer. uTell me whether ye sold the land for so much." Sapphira answered, "Yea, for so much." Peter then revealed the truth, and God judged her. (See Acts 5:1-11.) How Rule One Is Illustrated in Law Failure to exercise diligence in investigating all the facts about a case can have serious consequences. It is equivalent to answering a matter before hearing it. God warns that doing such a thing results in folly and shame. These were the results in a trial that could be titled: "The Case of the Bush League Lawyer and the Ivy League Witness." Lawyer: "Sir, did you graduate from Yale University?" Witness: "Yes." Lawyer: "Is it true that you graduated in the bottom 30 percent of your class?" Witness: "I don't know, sir." The lawyer triumphantly presented as evidence a document that showed that the witness had graduated from Yale in the bottom 10 percent of his class. Later in the trial, the defense attorney questioned the same witness. Defense: "Is it true, sir, that you worked your way through college?" Witness: "Yes, sir." Defense: "How did you work your way through school?" Witness: "I worked in a bottling company." Defense: "Can you tell the jury what happened while you worked there?" Witness: "A bottle exploded in my face and caused me to be blind during my years at Yale. I was unable to afford the necessary operation on my eyes until after I graduated." When the jury learned that the witness graduated from Yale with the handicap of blindness, their sympathies went out to him, and they decided against the lawyer who tried to discredit him. 18 2 NEVER ASK A QUESTION THAT DOES NOT REQUIRE ADMISSION OF RESPONSIBILITY. Personal responsibility means that we honestly answer for every thought, word, deed, attitude, and motive. Cross-examiners know that the best way to establish personal responsibility is to design questions which require either a "yes" or "no" answer. The natural tendency of people is to shift the blame for wrong- doing or failure to others or to circumstances. Notice how Adam tried to do this with God's direct questions. God: "Adam, where art thou?" Adam: "I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself." God: "Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?" Adam: "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." Instead of answering "yes" to God's direct question, Adam used his answer as an occasion to blame his wife and indirectly blame God for what he did. This tendency to shift blame is also demonstrated by Eve. God: "What is this that thou hast done?" Eve: "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:9-13). How Rule Two Is Illustrated in Law Developer Cox assured investor Von Lorentz that his fee for the project would not exceed $75,000. Mr. Cox then sent Mr. Von Lorentz a 180page contract in which he had increased the development cost by a halfmillion-dollar "cushion." His motive was to increase his own commission. After signing the contract, Mr. Von Lorentz discovered what had been done, and the case went to court. 19 Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: "Was Domenico a good mason?" "Oh, yes, verra fina mason." "And Giuseppi, was he a good mason?" "Even better." (Sarcastically) "I suppose you claim all masons are good masons?" "No, no! Justa lika lawyers-soma good-soma rotten." When a cross-examiner is disrespectful toward a witness, it is usually a visible evidence of his inward pride and a prelude to a defeat. In the day of Esther, Haman worked his way up to a position of power and prominence. His pride was injured when Mordecai the Jew refused to bow down to him as a matter of religious principle. Haman's attitude is a clear example of the kind of disrespect that should never be found in a cross-examiner. Haman's life illustrates how people's sympathy will turn toward one who has been the object of contempt. Just as Haman did not know the relationship between Esther and the Jews, so the disrespectful cross-examiner never knows how a judge or the members of a jury will identify with a witness who is being mistreated. The judgment that Haman had planned for Mordecai was pronounced upon him. (See Esther 7:9-10.) How Rule Five Is Illustrated in Law The following two accounts illustrate how cases can be won or lost, not on the merits of the case, but on the attitudes of the cross-examiner. Both of the following lawyers should have won their cases, but only one did. THE CASE OF THE CONTEMPTUOUS CROSS-EXAMINER Mr. Hooey had been injured in a train accident and was asking for $50,000 in damages. The jury was inclined to deny the claim until the closing argument of the opposing attorney. He arrogantly summed up his case by saying, "In conclusion, I believe Mr. Hooey's testimony is like his namea bunch of hooey!" The shocked jury awarded the $50,000 to Mr. Hooey. THE CASE OF THE COURTEOUS CROSS-EXAMINER Lawyer: Witness: 24 "Mr. Ames, as I understood you, you were given only one sample of the lady's genuine handwriting, and you base your opinion upon that single exhibit. Is that correct?" "Yes, sir, there was only one letter given me, but it was quite a long one and afforded me great opportunity for comparison." Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: Lawyer: Witness: 6 "Would it not assist you if you were given a number of her letters with which to make a comparison?" "Oh yes, the more samples I have of genuine handwriting, the more valuable my conclusion would become." (Taking another letter and folding down the signature) "Would you mind taking this one and comparing it with the others? Tell us if it is the same handwriting." "Yes, sir, I should say that is the same handwriting." (Taking another letter from his files ancl folding down the signature) "Won't you kindly take this letter, also, and compare it with the others you have?" "Yes, sir, that is a variety of the same penmanship." "Would you be willing to give it as your opinion that it was written by the same person?" "I certainly would, sir." (Taking a third letter from his files and again folding back the signature) "Be good enough to take just one more sample and say if this last one is also the woman's handwriting." "Yes, sir; I understand I am not swearing to the fact, only giving an opinion." "Of course, I understand. But it is your honest opinion as an expert that these three letters are all in the same handwriting?" "I say it is my honest opinion." "Now would you tum down the edge on each letter and read the signatures?" (First letter) "Lila Noeme" (The lady in question) (Second letter) "William Henriques" (Third letter) "Frank Ellison!" NEVER BE MORE COMPLICATED THAN NEEDE[ A cross-examiner maintains his effectiveness by communicating to the consciences of the witness, judge, and jury. When he discusses complicated information with the witness, each listener responds with his intellect, rather than with his conscience. Complicated discussions also jeopardize the understanding and attention of the judge and the jury. For these reasons it is vital that the cross-examiner simplify complex ideas, avoid using technical terms without explaining them, and ask questions that will not allow the witness to be more technical than necessary. 25 The ultimate technique for avoiding complexity is the ability to put ideas into the form of stories or illustrations. Nathan used this method when he confronted David about his sin. Nathan appealed to David's sense of justice by telling him about two men in one city-one rich and the other poor: "The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. "And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him" lhbleArtSeries,StandardPublishing,Cinndna,tl (II Samuel 12:2-4). With this approach, Nathan was able to captivate the mind, will, and emotions of David. The response of David reveals that he clearly understood the issues involved. "And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity. And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man ... " (II Samuel 12:5-7). 7 NEVER ASK A QUESTION TO WHICH YOU DO NOT EXPECT AN ANSWER. Insufficient evidence can determine the outcome of a trial. If a crossexaminer allows a witness to avoid a question, it could cost him the case. Expert witnesses have a tendency to use questions as "springboards" to express their opinions to the jury. An examiner should never ask a question to which he does not expect an answer. It is hard to believe that the governor of a Roman province, who was experienced in the law and politics of the Empire, would violate such a crucial rule of cross-examination. Pontius Pilate began his line of questioning on solid ground. "Art thou the King of the Jews?" "What hast thou done?" "Art thou a king then?" 26 To each of these questions, Pilate received an honest and relevant response. Then he broke his pattern by asking a somewhat rhetorical question: "What is truth?" He did not allow the Witness to answer the question; therefore, the outcome of the trial was based on insufficient evidence. (See John 18:33-38.) Furthermore, the cross-examiner must require that questions be answered precisely and not be used as springboards for information which may confuse the issue. Unless the cross-examiner insists that questions be answered to his satisfaction, a wrong verdict may result. This danger is seen in the life of Isaac, when his son Jacob deceived him and stole the blessing from Esau. As Jacob entered the room where Isaac was, a "cross-examination" took place. Isaac: Jacob: Isaac; Jacob: Isaac: Isaac: Isaac: "Who art thou, my son?" "I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me." · "How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son?" "Because the Lord thy God brought it to me." "Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not." (After feeling Jacob's hands) "The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau." "Art thou my very son Esau?" In spite of lingering doubts, Isaac left questions unanswered and made a hasty judgment, giving the blessing to one who had deceived him. (See Genesis 27:1-35.) 8 NEVER ALLOW THE WITNESS TO DISTRACT YOU WITH EXTRANEOUS TESTIMONY. A wise and skillful cross-examiner will maintain control of the testimony throughout the examination. If extraneous testimony is introduced, he will not allow it to sidetrack his inquiry. 27 The Apostle Paul knew the power of extraneous testimony in derailing a cross-examination. He used this understanding to his own advantc~ge when a riot broke out against him in Jerusalem. He was rescued by the chief captain and taken into custody in the castle. The next day Paul was brought before the chief priests and all their council. They put him on trial, and there were many false accusations against him. Dott Before the chief priest could conduct his interrogation, Paul introduced extraneous testimony into the hearing. Paul perceived that one part of his "jury" was made up of Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection. The other part was composed of Pharisees, who did believe in the resurrection. Fully aware of this difference in doctrine, he called out to the council: "Men and brethren, I am a Pharisee, the son of a Pharisee: of the hope and resurrection of the dead I am called in question." This "question" immediately divided the council and sidetracked the whole cross-examination. "And when he had so said, there arose a dissension between the Pharisees and the Sadducees: and the multitude was divided. ... And when there arose a great dissension, the chief captain, fearing lest Paul should have been pulled in pieces of them, commanded the soldiers to go down, and to take him by force from among them, and to bring him into the castle" (Acts 23:6-10). A skilled cross-examiner can often detect the most vulnerable point in a witness's testimony by listening for the one area that the witness takes the most effort to explain. It is at this vulnerable point that he is most likely to introduce extraneous testimony. 9 NEVER CROSS-EXAMINE A WITNESS UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE HE IS WRONG. The wh0le purpose of a cross-examination is to expose error, clarify misunderstandings, or explain different perspectives. If none of these objectives can be achieved, it is wiser for an attorney not to cross-examine the witness. When an attorney cross-examines a witness and fails to prove him wrong, he verifies the original testimony of that witness, making it much more convincing to the judge and the jury. 28 THE CASE OF THE WITNESS WHO "TURNED EXPERT" UNDER CROSS-EXAMINATION In a Massachusetts case involving a contested will, one of the witnesses to the will had been a stenographer in the office of the lawyer who originated the will. She testified, as is permitted under the law of that state, that in her opinion, the testator was perfectly sane when he signed the will. The witness was youthful, appeared to be inexperienced, and did not look as though she would have much influence on the jury. Then the cross-examination began. "How would you evaluate the mental ability of the defendant?" Witness: "I would say he was sane." Lawyer: (In an attempt to discredit the witness) "Have you ever in your life seen anyone who it was claimed was insane?" Witness: (Pausing for a moment, then answering) "I guess I have-I was employed in an insane asylum for two years as an attendant!" Lawyer: THECASEOFTHEFOREIGNER WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A CORONER A young attorney was defending his client in a murder case. He claimed that the death was a result of suicide and not homicide. An old German doctor had performed the autopsy and was convinced that the fatal bullet wound could not have been self-inflicted. "Doctor, you seem very certain about your findings in this case. You do not give it as your opinion that the wound in this case could not have been self-inflicted, but you state it as a matter of fact-swear to it, actually. Now, I would like to ask you-By any chance is this the first autopsy you have ever made? I don't see your name anywhere in our local medical directory." Witness: "No, I can say that I have made a previous autopsy." Lawyer: "Well, can you go as far as to say you have done five autopsies?" Witness: "Yes-yes I think I can say that I have done five autopsies" Lawyer: "Well, sir, why beat around the bush? Let's put it this way: Can you say you have done a thousand autopsies?" Witness: "Well, I think I can truthfully say I probably have. You see, I was the coroner for forty years in the city of Berlin before I came to this country!" Lawyer: 29 When Joseph's brothers came to Egypt, Joseph conducted one of the most moving cross-examinations in history. Because his brothers did not recognize him, he was able to skillfully ask questions to which he already knew the answers. He was able to require them to answer every question, and he knew before he started that he could prove that they were guilty. The effectiveness of Joseph's interrogation is evidenced by the brothers' confession and repentance. (See Genesis 42:21-23.) 10 NEVER MAKE THE FINAL POINT UNTIL THE WITNESS IS READY FOR TRUTH. The "final point" confronts the witness with the basic facts of the case and forces him to acknowledge the truth. Nathan's final point to King David was "Thou art the man." On this point, David repented. THE CASE OF THE MISSING MOONLIGHT "Grayson was charged with shooting Lockwood at a camp meeting on August 9 and with running away from the scene of the killing, which was witnessed by Sovine. The evidence of guilt and identity was nearly certain. Unable to secure experienced counsel, Grayson's mother hired a young lawyer-by the name of Abraham Lincoln." Lincoln: "And you were with Lockwood Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: 30 just before and saw the shooting." "Yes." "And you stood near to them?" "No, about twenty feet away." "In an open field?" "No, in the timber." "What kind of timber?" "Beech timber." "Leaves on it thick in August?" "Rather." "And you think this pistol was used?" "It looks like it." "You could see the defendant shoot-see how the barrel hung and all?" "Yes." "How near was this to the meeting?" "Three-quarters of a mile away." "Where were the lights?" Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: Lincoln: Witness: "Up by the minister's stand." "Three-quarters of a mile away?" "Yes-I answered ye already!" "Did you not see a candle there with Lockwood or Grayson?" "No! what would we want a candle for?" "How, then, did you see the shooting?" (Defiantly) "By moonlight!" "You saw the shooting at ten at night-in beech timber-threequarters of a mile from the lightsaw it all by moonlight?" "Yes, I told you so before." Lincoln then drew an almanac out of his pocket and read to the jury that the moon on that night was unseen and arose at one the next morning. The witness later broke down and confessed to the murder. Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Date _ _ _ _ _ __ COUNSELING QUIZ NO. 4 Turn these statements into precise questions. 1. You may not really be a Christian _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 2. You should not have doubts about ------------------3. Every Christian should be dedicated _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 4. You need to be baptized _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 5. God made you to look the way you do _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 6. You have a problem with your parents _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 7. You need to trust God, not question Him _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 8. Ask those you offend to forgive you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 9. I must ask you a personal question _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 10. You must confess secret sins to parents _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 11. Don't be afraid to confess every s ~ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 12. God gives grace to the humble _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 13. Everyone has moral battlefields _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 14. Tell me if someone has hurt you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 15. I notice you have a bad habit _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 16. It is hard to live for God at home -------------------17. Family members should be best friends _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 18. Everyone has been hurt by others _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 19. Never go to bed angry _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 20. Anger opens the door for Satan _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ If someone gives you personal information, there are two things you should never do. Never- - - - - - - - - - - - - Never _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ List the 1. Never 2. Never 3. Never 4. Never 5. Never 6. Never 7. Never 8. Never 9. Never 10. Never ten cardinal rules of cross-examination. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 31 11ffli100iHi1 P01005