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Akmattreh &aining 3Institute of Antrriat A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PART ONE 1 How Would You Counsel these People? 3 2 What is Counseling, 4 3 Tracing Surface Problems to Root Problems and Causes 6 4 Do You Have the Credentials for Counseling' 8 5 How to Understand Str...

Akmattreh &aining 3Institute of Antrriat A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PART ONE 1 How Would You Counsel these People? 3 2 What is Counseling, 4 3 Tracing Surface Problems to Root Problems and Causes 6 4 Do You Have the Credentials for Counseling' 8 5 How to Understand Strongholds 9 6 How to Identify Strongholds 10 7 How to Destroy Strongholds 11 8 How to Take Every Thought Captive 12 9 Case Study Results 13 10 Summary Quiz on Counseling Principles "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" al Corinthians 10.4-5). 15 HOW WOULD YOU COUNSEL THESE PEOPLE? 0 A 17-year-old girl who battles fear and anger When Gail* was three years old, her parents were divorced, and she was placed in the custody of her mother. Following the divorce, Gail's father kidnapped her and took her to his home. While he was at work, he placed her in a day-care center. In the day-care center, a 15-year-old boy repeatedly violated her morally and threatened to kill her if she told anyone. Seven years later, Gail finally told her mother and stepfather what had happened. It was then that her mother explained to her that the same type of abuse had taken place in her life and in the lives of her grandmother and greatgrandmother. Each of them continued to experience the same destructive emotions of bitterness, fear, immoral thoughts, and nightmares. How can they conquer these problems? n A 19-year-old boy whose thoughts rob him of sleep For many years, Kevin* had trouble getting to sleep at night. Each night he would lie awake thinking about what he wanted to do the next day. Frequently his mind wandered to impure thoughts. He tried praying or quoting Scripture, but nothing seemed to help. The longer the problem continued, the more frustrated he became. What direction would you give him that would bring about a lasting solution? E A father who struggles with guilt over his past life Before Mike* became a Christian at the age of 19, he engaged in immoral activities, including adult entertainment bars. After his salvation, he grew steadily in his walk with the Lord, married, and began to have children. One night, in a church meeting, the speaker mentioned the sin of going to adult entertainment bars. Mike became convicted and wondered if he would need to take back "ground" for those events which took place before he was saved. He assumed that all his sins were covered by the blood of Christ, yet his thoughts continued to trouble him. What should he do? 'Names hare been changed. 3 WHAT IS COUNSELING? • Counseling is helping another person go beyond his own perspective and see a problem or circumstance from God's point of view. Example: A young woman was getting special training away from home at the direction of her parents, and she received a weekly phone call from her mother. Each phone call began with pleasant conversation but soon involved differences of opinion which resulted in arguments. The daughter concluded that the phone calls were detrimental to her and wished that her mother would not call. The one who counseled her simply said, "Have you ever stopped to realize that you are able to grow spiritually all week long, then at the end of the week, God gives you a 'final exam' on what you have learned in spiritual maturity?" She replied, "I never saw it that way. Now I will look forward to my mother's calls, and I hope to pass these 'tests.'" If we see our problems or circumstances from our point of view, we will become discouraged, frustrated, impatient, angry, proud, jealous, or greedy. However, if we see these same situations from God's perspective, we will be grateful, encouraged, patient, content, joyful, generous, loving, and kind. The importance of seeing every circumstance through God's eyes is affirmed by Him when He states, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). • Counseling is guiding a person to be able to distinguish between his natural inclinations and the non-optional principles of God's Word. God warns that "there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death" (Proverbs 14:12). The ways that seem right to us are usually opposite to the ways of God. When these seemingly right ways are followed, they bring about destructive consequences. Example: A father became angry with his son for his failure to carry out the chores that were assigned to him. The father's natural inclination was to call in the son and firmly rebuke him for not fulfilling his responsibilities. Then the father remembered that his natural inclinations were probably opposite to God's ways, so he asked himself 'What is the opposite of rebuking my son?" 4 The answer was "praising him." However, his next thought was, 'What has my son done that is worthy of praise?" As he considered the matter, he remembered several things that his son had recently done which he had never recognized, affirmed, or rewarded. He called his son and expressed how much he appreciated having him as his son. Then he explained how pleased he was with the things he had observed the son doing over the previous weeks. At first the son was stunned. His father had never given him praise without accompanying blame. Consequently the son had concluded that he could never do anything that would please his father. With this unexpected encouragement, the son went out and began working on the projects his father had assigned him. This, in turn, gave the father further reason to praise him. • Counseling is helping another person trace his surface problems to root problems and causes. Surface problems are visible actions that are destructive or unacceptable. They usually result from wrong attitudes such as jealousy, insecurity, anger, lust, etc. Negative attitudes, in turn, spring from the root problems of bitterness, greed, and moral impurity. Root problems can be further traced to root causes which are violations of basic Biblical principles. These principles include honoring God's design, getting under authority, forgiving our offenders, yielding our rights, acknowledging God's ownership, maintaining moral purity, and being committed to God's purpose for our lives. Example: A woman began to have serious marital problems, which led to divorce. Her husband left her with several children to raise. Before long, the children began to rebel against her authority. She sought help from others on how to solve the discipline problems with her children, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, a wise counselor asked her whether she had married with her parents' full approval, and whether she had been obedient to her parents while she was growing up. The answer to both of these questions was "No." The counselor then explained from Scripture how her rejection of the authority of her parents in her youth was directly related to her present problems. Her husband and her children were simply reacting to her strong will. This causeand-effect sequence is emphasized in the Fifth Commandment, and it is affirmed in Ephesians 6:1-2: "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." The converse of this promise is also true. If we fail to honor our parents during our youth, things will not go well for us. Scripture is filled with cause-and-effect sequences. The more we understand them, the wiser we will be in helping individuals identify the root causes of their problems. The more we identify root problems, the more we will experience lasting results rather than simply obtaining temporary relief. 5 Tracing Surface Problems to ROOT PROBLEMS AND CAUSES Surface Problems (visible actions) Surface Causes (attitudes) Root Problems (character) Root Causes (principles) Bitterness Greed Moral Impurity Resisting God's Grace (Hebrews 12:15) Following Natural Inclinations (Pride) Violating Principles: Design, Responsibility, Authority, Suffering, Ownership, Freedom, Success • Counseling is explaining Biblical disciplines which God promises to reward and urging believers to accept them as a part of their lives. Christ promises that if we pray, fast, or give secretly, He will reward us openly. (See Matthew 5-6.) He promises that if we memorize and meditate upon His Word, whatever we do will prosper. (See Psalm 1.) The more Biblical commitments a person makes, the more mature he will become. Similarly, the fewer Biblical commitments a person makes, the more immature he will be. Example: An attractive young lady learned the importance of having her father give his approval for any young man who would like to go out with her. She was urged to apply this truth to her life by purposing not to go out with any young man who had not first met her father and received his permission. Instead of making this commitment, however, she decided to simply wait and see what would happen. A short time later, a very handsome young man asked her to go out with him. She was taken by surprise, and before thinking about it, agreed. Immediately she sensed cautions because he was not a believer; however, she concluded that she had already given her word, and it would be a bad testimony to break a promise. That evening, she gave in to further temptations and violated her moral purity which she had always thought she would maintain. Daniel is an example of the importance of making commitments before encountering a compromising situation. He purposed in his heart beforehand that he would not defile himself. (See Daniel 1:8.) • Counseling is helping a person resolve fear, depression, anger, lust, and other destructive emotions by relating them to "strongholds" which can be torn down with Biblical truth. When a person becomes bitter, greedy, or immoral, he gives a part of his soul to Satan. Once Satan has jurisdiction over this area, he builds false presuppositions in the person's mind, from which wrong decisions are made. Scripture calls these false ideas "strongholds," and from them, Satan torments other areas of the soul with destructive emotions. Example: A wife violated God's moral standards and experienced deep guilt. This sin gave "ground" to Satan in her soul. Satan then constructed the false idea that if she told her husband what she had done, he would reject her. Soon she experienced overwhelming fear, anxiety, and physical illnesses. It was only when she heard the Scriptural truth that if we cover our sins we will not prosper (see Proverbs 28:13) that she was willing to confess her failure to her husband and ask him to forgive her. After doing this and asking God to regain the "ground" that she had given to Satan, she experienced a freedom from wrong emotions and a new fellowship with the Lord and with her husband. 7 DO YOU HAVE THE CREDENTIALS NECESSARY FOR COUNSELING? The answer to this question depends upon what level of counseling you want to give. If you want to help a person treat physical problems, you will be required to have the credentials of a physician. If you want to give psychological counseling, you will be expected to have appropriate training and degrees in that field. If, on the other hand, you desire to give spiritual counsel, you must have spiritual discernment and a life that is consistent with the counsel that you give. Most doctors recognize that their treatment depends upon factors other than physical to bring about total and lasting healing. Thus, they often refer patients to psychologists or psychiatrists. Most of those who give psychological counseling do not recognize or understand spiritual realities, and therefore, they seek to solve problems from a purely emotional, mental, or volitional perspective. The real key to effective counseling is understanding the spiritual dimensions of a person. When these are in order, they will have a dramatic effect upon psychological and physical health. Thus, when someone asks you for your credentials, realize that he is probably thinking in terms of psychological counseling, which depends upon years of training and earned degrees. YOur credentials, however, will be the lives of those who are transformed by the help you give. When the Pharisees questioned the blind man about Christ's credentials, the blind man refused to argue with them. He simply said, ". . . One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see" (John 9:25). Paul discussed the matter of credentials when he was asked if he needed to establish his credibility with letters. He then explained that those whom he had helped were his credentials, "known and read of all men." (See II Corinthians 3:1-2.) Based on these factors, you should give the following response when asked about your credentials: "It is my responsibility to assist people in tracing surface problems to root causes and then to guide them to finding lasting answers. My credentials are God's command to 'exhort one another' and the people whom I have had the privilege of helping." Very often, people will challenge your credentials because they desperately want help but have been disillusioned by others who have failed to give help. They do not want to go through the pain of explaining their problems again until they have some assurance that you will have answers for them. HOW TO UNDERSTAND STRONGHOLDS STRONGHOLD TORMENTORS False ideas Wrong emotions from false ideas y 41 LUST FEARS DEPRESSION ANGER • Bitterness, greed, or immorality gives Satan "ground"—areas of jurisdiction. "Neither give place to the devil" (Ephesians 4:27). • Satan builds strongholds on his "ground"—false ideas from which he influences us to make unwise decisions. • God allows tormentors such as fear, depression, anger, lust, anxiety, or illness to come from the strongholds and afflict other parts of the soul. (See Matthew 18:34-35.) STEPS TO REGAIN GROUND 1 Confess each sin that God brings to your mind. (I John 1:9) 2 Claim the blood of Christ for cleansing. a Peter 1:18-19) * 3 Ask God (out loud) to regain the "ground." (Psalm 23:3) 4 Tear down strongholds with truth. (II Corinthians 10:4-5) 5 Transform your mind with truth. (Romans 12:2) 6 Fully forgive offenders. (Matthew 6:10-15) 9 HOW TO GIVE EFFECTIVE COUNSEL TO PULL DOWN STRONGHOLDS There are nine steps you can take to help a person deal with strongholds in his life. These steps will be illustrated by the counseling cases on page 3. IDENTIFY WRONG IDEAS 2 CLARIFY WRONG ACTIONS 3 POINT OUT WRONG EMOTIONS (Strongholds) (Iniquity) (Tormentors) To the degree that people reject truth and give Satan "ground," "God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie" (11 Thessalonians 2:11). Wrong ideas lead to wrong actions. Even good works are iniquity if they are not directed by God. (See Matthew 7:21-23 and Jesus told how the unforgiving servant was turned over to tormentors. "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses" (Matthew 18:35). • The 17-year-old girl believed that she could retaliate by being bitter against the boy who had abused her body. • Gail failed to tell her parents how she had been wronged. Rather than forgive, she developed bitterness toward her offender. • Gail experienced fear, selfrejection, anger, lustful desires, condemnation, and nightmares. • The 19-year-old boy believed his body belonged to himself and that he had a right to enjoy lustful pleasures. • Kevin retained lustful pictures of previous immorality in his memory and recalled them when he was trying to go to sleep at night. • Kevin was unable to go to sleep no matter how tired he was. He could not control his thoughts and imaginations. • The father believed he could sow to the flesh in his youth and reap no consequences from it later in life. He believed that once he was saved, he was not responsible for his past sins. • Mike covered past sins. He did not tell his wife about them or take back the "ground" he had given to Satan. "He that covereth his sin shall not prosper . ." (Proverbs • Mike had major defeats in the area of lust. He did not have peace or inward freedom. His love for others was lacking because he had not purified his soul by obeying the truth. 10 Isaiah 53:6.) 28:13). (See I Peter 1:22.) I • APPEAL TO THE CONSCIENCE God has written His Law in I' every man's conscience. (See Romans 2:15.) By exposing the conscience to God's commands, genuine conviction results. Conviction leads to repentance, which brings God's forgiveness and true freedom. • FIND A BIBLICAL COUNTERPART • GIVE THE BIGGER PERSPECTIVE Every situation we face in life has a parallel in the Bible from which we can draw insight and direction. God's ways are higher than our ways. To help us understand His ways, He gives us analogies, parables, and other word pictures. These Biblical case studies show how others faced similar problems in the extreme and overcame them. His ways involve concepts and application of His Law to life situations. 4 5 (Law converts the soul) (Testimonies make wise) (Statutes rejoice the heart) • God's Law requires that a girl cry out if she is attacked. If she fails to do this, she is also guilty. (See Deuteronomy 22:23-27.) God's Law of Love commands us to forgive our offenders, or we will not be forgiven. (See Matthew 6:15.) God's Law demands that we not cover sin—our own or others'. (See Leviticus 5:1; Prov- • To be morally abused is a horrible experience. Yet, Daniel suffered such abuse to the extreme when his captors robbed him of his ability to have children by making him a eunuch. Daniel's captors damaged his body, but he did not let them hurt his spirit— he became mighty in spirit. • The concept of spirit, soul, and body was explained. Gail agreed that the spirit was most important and the body least important. She was asked, "Will you let one who damaged the least important also damage the most important?" She said, "No!" She dedicated her body to God (see Romans 121-2) and could then say, "He damaged God's body; I am sharing Christ's sufferings." • God promises to give His beloved sleep. When David kept the sheep, he had nightly dangers from lions, bears, and possibly other animals. Yet, he said, "I will both lay me dawn in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety" • Kevin learned how past sins gave "ground" to Satan. He also understood the importance of meditating on Scripture and clearing his conscience. EXPLAIN GOD'S COMMANDMENTS LEARN FROM GOD'S BIOGRAPHIES erbs 28:13.) • God's Law establishes that what we sow we will also reap. (See Galatians 6:7-8.) The Law also requires that a man deal with each sin individually with an offering. (See Leviticus 1-10.) Christ is our offering, but we are still to confess each sin. (See 1 John 1:9.) • God's Law states that one day we must give an account of every deed done in the body, whether good or evil. (See 11 Corinthians 5:10.) This accounting will include deeds done before and after salvation. (See Colossians 2:14-15.) 6 REVEAL GOD'S WAYS BODY (Psalm 4:8). • Before Paul's conversion, he assisted in the murder of Stephen. After he became a believer, he did not hide this sin but actually made it a part of his testimony. (See Acts 8:1.) • Mike learned that the old man with his deceitful lusts must be "put off," and the new man must be "put on." (See Ephesians 4:22-24.) He related this truth to the events which had taken place in his life before salvation. 11 • ENCOURAGE BIBLICAL COMMITMENTS • EXPLAIN THE VALUE OF DISCIPLINES • TRANSFORM PROBLEMS INTO LIFE-MESSAGES Spiritual maturity is directly related to the number of Biblical commitments that a person makes. Each decision is a "guidepost" for thoughts and actions and provides the basis for true wisdom in life. A disciple is a "disciplined one." Jesus promised that if we secretly pray, fast, or give, He will reward us openly. (See Matthew 6.) Scripture also promises "good success" to those who meditate on God's Word. Paul explains in II Corinthians 1 that we go through problems and difficulties so we can share with others the same type of comfort and counsel which we received from the Lord during our troubles. (See Joshua 1:8.) lk 7 12 LEAD TO WISE DECISIONS lk 8 SET UP DAILY DISCIPLINES 9 PREPARE APPROPRIATE TESTIMONIES (Commands enlighten eyes) (Fear of the Lord endures) (Judgments are true) • After understanding Scriptural concepts, Gail decided to confess the sins of bitterness, covering sin, and the iniquities of her forefathers. She asked God to take back the "ground" she had given to Satan. She dedicated her body to the Lord, forgave her offender, and purposed to be mighty in spirit. • Gail made a covenant with her eyes that she would not look at anything that would stir up memories of sensual thoughts. This discipline involved removing television from her life, along with all sensual reading material. She also developed the discipline of keeping her conscience clear. • One week after Gail heard the information on this chart and experienced freedom, she had the opportunity of giving a clear testimony to a large group of young people. The brightness of her spirit and the joy in her countenance were powerful encouragements for others to follow her example. • When Kevin heard the concept of giving "ground" to Satan through past immorality, he understood how it could apply to his situation. He confessed each incident he remembered and asked God to take back yielded "ground." • After having removed the major hindrance to meditating on Scripture at night, Kevin now made this a daily discipline. As soon as he went to bed, he began quoting Scripture that he had memorized earlier. • Kevin gave the testimony of his experience verbally at a meeting and then wrote it out so others could be encouraged by it. Because the problem he experienced is so common, his testimony attracts immediate interest. • Mike decided to confess his secret sins to his wife and to ask God to take back the "ground" he had given to Satan through those sins. He purposed to establish Biblical goals for his life and family and to take every thought captive. • Mike continued the disciplines of weekly prayer and fasting, memorizing chapters of Scripture, cleansing his home of destructive influences, and raising up a Godly family. He used temptations as signals to take back more "ground." • The first testimony Mike gave was to his own family of six children. Then he developed a further testimony to urge other fathers to be spiritually alert, because even after victory, there will be further temptations. CASE STUDY RESULTS 0 The 17-year-old girl who battled fear and anger "For fourteen years I suffered from anger, bitterness, impure thoughts, and nightmares. When I was 3, my parents were divorced, and I was given to my mother. One day, my father took me from my mother. He put me in a day-care center while he worked. In the day-care center, a 15-year-old boy repeatedly molested me. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I did not tell anyone until I was 10 years old. "Last night, I watched and listened as the chart on tearing down strongholds was explained. Tears filled my eyes as I saw how that chart applied to me. I realized how wrong I was in covering that boy's sin for all those years. I understood how I had given 'ground' to Satan by my bitterness and how the tormentors were afflicting me with fear, anger, lust, and nightmares. "At 11:40 last night I called my mother and stepfather. I told them how I had allowed a boy who damaged the least important part of me to also damage my spirit, which is the most important part of me. I explained how dedicating my body to God would mean that it was God's body he had molested and that I was then sharing in the sufferings of Christ. "It was then that my mother revealed to me that I am the fourth generation in our family that has gone through this kind of abuse and experienced the resulting problems. My mom was very excited about this new material on tearing down strongholds, which was also helpful to her. At 12:30 we prayed, and I made the following decisions. 1. "I confessed my sins of bitterness, covering sin, and immoral thoughts. I acknowledged the iniquities of my forefathers that had been passed down to me. 2. "I claimed the blood of Christ as full payment for all my sins. 3. "I asked God to regain the 'ground' that I had given to Satan. 4. "I dedicated my body (as well as my mind, will, emotions, words, and actions) to the Lord for His purposes. 5. "I purposed to be mighty in spirit and to develop daily disciplines in my life. 6. "I forgave my offender and asked God to deal with him according to His will. "I also made several commitments so I would not fall back into the failures that I experienced in the past: 1. "I made a covenant with my eyes, as Job did. (See Job 31:1.) 2. "I purposed to set no wicked thing before my eyes. (See Psalm 101:3.) 3. "I determined to be truthful always and to have a clear conscience. (See John 8:32.) "I got off the phone at 1:15 a.m. with a new sense of freedom and victory in the Lord. I had heard other people talk about having this kind of freedom, but I never knew what it was like. Now, I am experiencing it firsthand!" 13 D The 19-year-old boy whose thoughts robbed him of sleep "For many years, I have had trouble with getting to sleep at night. I would lie awake for up to an hour or more after going to bed. I tried counting sheep, meditating on Scripture, praying, and many other ways to try to get to sleep, but nothing seemed to help. No matter how tired I was, I was still unable to go right to sleep. "Since I have asked God to take back the 'ground' in my life in the area of moral impurity and greed, God has freed me to be able to say Scripture to myself, to pray, and to sing myself to sleep. I had often tried before to meditate on Scripture, but my mind would always stray to impure thoughts, things I wanted to buy, problems with our business, etc. "After God took back the 'ground' and I was free to meditate, I began to fall asleep very quickly. I praise God for His grace in allowing me to hear these principles." 0 The father who struggled with guilt over his past "I received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior at age nineteen. Before that time, I violated the principle of moral purity and made a mess of my life, even going to the depths of visiting 'adult entertainment places.' "Since my salvation, I have not made provision for the flesh in the area of moral impurity. I have given up all worldly music and replaced it with melodious Christian music. For years I have had and still have a weekly time of prayer and fasting. I have also memorized several chapters of Scripture, including Romans 6-8, and used my weapons of God's Word and prayer targets. "One night, a speaker at our church briefly mentioned the sin of adult entertainment places, and I began to wonder if! needed to take back the 'ground' that I had given to Satan in going to them. I reasoned that I visited these places before I got saved—that was years ago. Do I need to deal now with these specific sins? I thought, 'Yes! do,' 'No I don't,' 'Yes I do,' `No I don't....' "I asked God for wisdom, and He brought to my mind the Scripture in James, 'Confess your faults one to another,' so for the first time, I confessed those secret sins to my wife and then by faith asked God to take back the 'ground' I had given to Satan. Then another past sin came to my mind. Then another. This went on for quite some time. "The next morning, I looked for a passage of Scripture that would explain what was happening to me. Ephesians 4:22-24 came to my mind. I had memorized this passage years ago but never understood it. It instructs us to put off the old man with his deceitful lusts and to put on the new man, which is after God. I immediately saw that taking back 'ground' is putting off the old man. "After a time of intense prayer and weeping before the Lord, I now have a new freedom. I realize the enemy will still attack, but when all 'ground' is taken back, he cannot attack from within my soul—only from without." 14 Name Date COUNSELING QUIZ NO.1 What is counseling? (Answer, then check pages 4-7.) Counseling is helping another person Counseling is distinguishing Counseling is tracing surface problems to Counseling is motivating others to adopt Counseling is pulling down from God's with God's truth. What are your credentials to counsel? (Answer, then check page 8.) Three types of counseling are: , God commands all believers to If you live what you speak, you credentials will be , and Do you understand strongholds?_ (Answer, then check page 9.) , and We give "ground" to Satan by , Satan builds on his "ground," which are in OUT soul. God allows to produce Can you quote: 0 Ephesians 4:27 0 II Corinthians 10:4-5 0 Matthew 18:35 DI John 1:9 DI Peter 1:18 0 Romans 12:2 Can you deal with strongholds? (Answer, then check pages 10-12.) A stronghold involves Strongholds in a person's soul first result in Tormentors are wrong emotions such as After identifying strongholds, we must explain To remove excuses, we must introduce Then we must give the bigger picture of Once sin is identified, we must encourage To protect against further defeat, we should A final confirmation of victory can be given in What strongholds have you replaced with truth? Write out a personal experience of asking God to take back "ground" and replacing strongholds with Biblical concepts, commitments, and disciplines. i 15 Cc.JrI,c Co'P1 I1I1II M iII Ill Pa i oc'