A Journey of Love and Life with My Ex-Husband PDF

A Journey of Love and Life with My Ex-Husband My name is Kahalisa Abdulkarim. I was born on January 1,1991, date in Ethiopia. I met my ex-husband, Abdulle Kimo, through friends and we spoke over the phone in November 2009. We started talking on the phone often and began a romantic relationship. Abd...

A Journey of Love and Life with My Ex-Husband My name is Kahalisa Abdulkarim. I was born on January 1,1991, date in Ethiopia. I met my ex-husband, Abdulle Kimo, through friends and we spoke over the phone in November 2009. We started talking on the phone often and began a romantic relationship. Abdulle told me in April 2010 that he wanted to marry me and that he will come to Nairobi, Kenya. Abdulle came to Nairobi in August 2010 and we were married on August 23, 2010, in Nairobi, Kenya. Abdulle stayed about one week after the wedding and then he had to return to the United States because he didn’t have any more time off work. Abdulle was a security officer at that time. Abdulle came back to visit me in Nairobi, Kenya in March 2012. He stayed for about two weeks. While he was there, we went to the park, went to dinners, lunches; we spent all our time together. He was unable to visit me before this time because he could not get off work. I spoke with Abdulle over the phone multiple times a day. He would call me when I would go to sleep and when I would wake up. I arrived in the United States on August 15, 2013. At that time, Abdulle was living in San Diego, CA. I moved in with him there at 2172 Garston St., Apt. D, San Diego, CA 92111. At that time, there was another man and another woman living at that apartment. The apartment was a two- bedroom apartment, and this man and woman were staying in the other bedroom of the apartment. In November 2013, Abdulle and I chose to relocate from California to Ohio. Abdulle said we had to move because we would have a better life in Ohio and be able to work. When we moved to Ohio, we moved to 377 Shell Ct. E, Whitehall, OH 43213. I had no idea that Abdulle was also residing at 353 Heatherbridge Lane, Blacklick, OH. Abdulle would spend five nights a week at the house with me, and then the other two days he would tell me he was working overtime and wouldn’t be coming home. He worked in a warehouse when we were in Ohio. Sometimes after work he would be two to three hours late coming home. Other times he wouldn’t come home at all. Having spent nearly three months in Ohio, in January 2014 we took a trip to Minnesota to visit Abdulle’s friend. Following our short stay, Abdulle expressed his fondness for the state and a desire to move. He suggested that I remain with family he knew from the Oromo community in Minnesota while he made a quick trip back to Ohio to collect our possessions. After a brief stay in Ohio, Abdulle expressed concern about our financial situation and informed me that he plans to temporarily remain in Ohio to work and secure the additional funds needed for our settlement in Minnesota. I responded to him by saying, “ok”. I had 1/5 complete trust in him and our marriage, as we had been happily married since 2010. I was confident that he was working for our mutual benefit, regardless of his location. I spent the month as a guest in Minnesota, eagerly awaiting my partner’s arrival. Despite the challenges of being in a new place and spending some days alone in a house, I trusted his assurance that he was working hard to provide for us. This trust was built on the experience of being physically apart while I was in Africa, so I remained hopeful and patient. Around the second week of February 2014, a heated argument between us over the phone arose due to my struggle to find a place to live in Minnesota. It was tough for me to stay at someone else’s house with limited space. The argument between us led to days of silence, leaving me devastated and unsure of what to do. However, during this difficult time, I got help from a woman I met at the downtown Minneapolis library. She was from Ethiopia and graciously introduced me to the library program designed to help newcomers learn English, a program she herself was also participated in. When I went to the library, I had the privilege of receiving tutoring assistance from Ibsa Idris, a volunteer who spoke a language similar to mine. One week had passed without any word from my ex-husband, Abdulle. Unfortunately, the people he left me with mentioned that they were planning to move out of state, which presented a significant challenge for me. The following day, I confided in Ibsa about my predicament when we met at the library. To my surprise, Ibsa assured me that it wasn’t a problem at all and generously offered me a place to stay. In February 2014, Ibsa took me to meet the property manager, where I signed some necessary forms. While living at 314 Hennepin Ave., Apt. 1510, Minneapolis, MN, with Ibsa, I regularly visited the nearby library to enhance my English language skills. Through these visits, I connected with people participating in Adult Education in Minneapolis on Lake Street. A close friend, with whom I attended ESL tutoring sessions at the library, recommended the Adult Education South campus on Lake Street. She highlighted the school’s exceptional support for English language learners and its offerings of GED and specialized programs in technical, health-related, and other fields. Intrigued by the opportunity, I went to enroll at the South campus in April 2014. I did not hear from Abdulle from February until June 2014. At that time, I was so worried about what was going on with our relationship. I tried many times to call him, but Abdulle blocked my number. I had no way to get a hold of him. In June 2014, Abdulle and I reconciled after he came to Minnesota to apologize. Despite the difficulty of accepting his apology, our love and commitment to our marriage compelled me to forgive him. At that time, I went back with him to Ohio. I resumed living at 377 Shell Ct. E, Whitehall, OH 43213. We spent nearly three months together in Ohio, before I returned to 2/5 Minnesota to attend school in August 2014. I wanted to stay with Abdulle in Ohio and go to school there, but he pushed me to go back to Minnesota to attend school. He said the schools here were better. Abdulle and I agreed that he would eventually move to Minnesota. He emphasized the importance of education in the USA and encouraged me to continue my studies in Minnesota while he worked to secure a job in Minnesota before joining me. Abdulle assured me that the distance between us was not significant, emphasizing the importance of education. In December 2014, I traveled to Ohio, where we stayed together at the same address at 377 Shell Ct. E, Whitehall, OH 43213, and then I came back to Minnesota in January 2015. Regarding his relocation to Minnesota, he mentioned needing some time, as he was finding it difficult to secure a job in Minnesota. However, he assured me that we could see each other at any time. He encouraged me to continue attending school and to pursue my GED, followed by college, offering his support for everything, emphasizing the importance of education. Instead of me going to Ohio, my ex-husband Abdulle came to Minnesota to see me on multiple occasions between 2015 and 2016. Abdulle came for the summer in 2015, January 2016, and the summer in 2016. Each time, he stayed only one week. In 2016, when he visited me during the summer, his lack of excitement was noticeable. When I mentioned that I would be going to Ohio, he seemed indifferent and was telling me the importance of my attending summer school to expedite my GED completion. In our culture and traditions, a wife is expected to heed her husband’s words, so I consented. I believed that God would facilitate everything for us. Despite this, I harbored suspicions and felt unhappy. He became frustrated, explaining the difficulty of relocating without securing a job first in Minnesota. After he visited me and returned to Ohio in July 2016, he delayed returning my calls, saying that he was busy with work and that his schedule had changed. Our communication became more difficult towards the end of August and into early September 2016, to the point where we hardly spoke at all and everything turned heartbreakingly sour. When I tried to contact him in mid-September 2016, I discovered he had blocked me and changed his phone number. My attempts to reach him on his old phone number were unsuccessful, as it was no longer in service. Also, in 2016, I updated my Ohio state ID to Minnesota due to the uncertainty of my ex-husband’s plans, which eventually became clear to me. At that point, I knew that Abdulle was lying to me, but I still loved him. I was still hoping he will come back again. For almost two years, I waited for him but he never came or tried to contact me again. In 2018, I received finalized divorced papers in the mail and it was a complete surprise to me. I had no idea that he had filed for divorce. That is why I did not participate in the divorce; it is because I had no idea a divorce was even happening. 3/5 I had no idea that Abdulle had cheated on me until I received the N-400 decision denying my citizenship. I was oblivious to the fact that my husband, Abdulle Kimo, was living with Sadiya Mussa having children with her as the immigration officer mentioned, in the notice of denial of my N-400 application. I had no knowledge of his infidelity with Sadiya. Upon my arrival in the United States from Nairobi in August 2013, I internet serendipitously met Sadiya and another individual whom she introduced to me as her relative. She explained that she was there to visit this relative. They were both staying at 2172 Garston St., Apt. D., San Diego, CA, where my husband resided. The apartment had two bedrooms, with Sadiya sharing one with her so-called relative. She told me she had traveled from Michigan to San Diego a few months prior to my arrival. It is now clear to me that my ex-husband, Abdulle Kimo, and Sadiya Mussa had developed a secret relationship. That was the reason they were together in a separate city within Ohio, away from the place where my ex-husband and I settled. This also explains Abdulle’s reluctance to move to Minnesota. It was unfair that he disregarded my feelings and wasted my time. He should have been honest about his fading affection and allowed both of us to move forward with our respective lives. His contemplation of whether to continue his relationship with his mistress, Sadiya Mussa, while keeping me in limbo, was devastating to discover. For example, he pursued a separation and got a divorce from me without my consent in order to move forward with his life with her. Concerning my assets, I had been going to school and refrained from pursuing personal assets. I had limited knowledge about the assets, and I placed my trust in Abdulle, considering his assets as my own. He communicated to me that he had been claiming me on his tax return until 2016. Without any desire for immigration benefits, I had a deep and sincere love for my ex-spouse, Abdulle Kimo. When we first met, I was an Ethiopian refugee in Kenya and had already been approved by the United Nations Agency, waiting for placement in a third country. I officially registered Abdulle Kimo as my spouse in the UN database, informing them of our marriage. Until our divorce, he held a special pLace in my heart. Despite the challenges he faced in taking time off from his job, he managed to visit me twice in Kenya. His presence was irreplaceable, and the love we shared was unparalleled. I made a conscious decision not to pursue any romantic relationships until after our marriage ended in 2018. How would you handle the difficult and painful experience of your partner developing feelings for someone else? After discovering from the N-400 decision notice I received from the USCIS that my ex-husband Abdulle Kimo was cheating on me with Sadiya Mussa, I felt a deep wound in my heart that will take a lifetime to heal. It has been incredibly difficult for me, and everything feels like a nightmare. 4/5 During my N-400 interview, I stated that my ex-husband and I lived together for 6 years from 2010 to 2016. I did not understand what it meant to live together. I thought that if we had not separated, we were still together. That’s why I said until 2016. We only actually lived together from 2013-2014. in the N-400 interview, when the officer asked me when I moved to Minnesota, I thought I needed to match what was on my application. The N-400 application mistakenly stated that I moved to Minnesota in January 2015 and at the interview I wanted what I said to match what was on my application. In the N-400 interview, when the officer asked me if Abdulle had any children, I answered honestly, since I did not know he had any children until I received the N-400 decision. 5/5