Family Formalities: Family & Ceremonies - PDF

Family Formalities - Family & Ceremonies - Dr. Gbenga Adejare Opener: Class Exercise Let's watch this video on what weddings around the world look like and share our thoughts about: Outfits Wedding size Family/gender roles Traditions Symbols Venue Video quality Background 1...

Family Formalities - Family & Ceremonies - Dr. Gbenga Adejare Opener: Class Exercise Let's watch this video on what weddings around the world look like and share our thoughts about: Outfits Wedding size Family/gender roles Traditions Symbols Venue Video quality Background 1 All family ceremonies are normative and ritualistic Old norms for familial relations are reinforced or new ones set Religiously, some items and practices embraced symbolize a belief system Though changing, family functions/ceremonies significantly project the import of family institution as core to social survival Rites of passage mark a person’s movement from one status to another while rites progression indicate continuity (e.g. anniversaries). Among others, rituals associated with marriage and deaths are preponderant. Rituals associated with marriage occur before, during, and after wedding Family functions/ceremonies are changing in cost and orientation across societies and times  Background 2 The work of Emile Durkheim on Collective Effervescence is very instructive in unpacking the essence of family ceremonies. Collective effervescence denotes such times or events when societal cognition and morality are reified/concretized through participation ritualistic observance – think of all the religious ceremonies around! In Durkheim’s view, “religion is what connects society and the individual, because it is through sacred rituals that categories become the basis for individual concepts” (Geoge Ritzer, 2010). Thus, collective consciousness is perpetuated through collective effervescence (joint ritualistic celebration) 4  Family Rites Family rites are ritualistic. According to Medora Barnes (2014), these rites are ritualistic because, in anthropogenic sense, they are: Formal/legitimate Repetitive Symbolic Structured Rooted in a belief system 5  Family Rites Rites of passage Pre-wedding Wedding Honeymoon Rite of progression Renewal of vows/wedding anniversary Rites of separation Funerals Funeral anniversaries/remembrance services 6  Pre-wedding Rituals This is a transitional stage where would-be couple would be seen and accepted as committed to each other – it is a liminal stage. Different ceremonies/rituals are conducted to mark this phase in different cultures In North America, bridal shower is a common place ‘Introduction’ is a common pre-wedding event in Nigeria There are other evolving rites in recent years 7  Pre-wedding Rituals Cont’d New pre-wedding rites include: Co-ed showers Bachelorette parties Groomal shower Jack and Jill or Stag and Stagette parties Generally, prewedding rites mark the celebration of the couple’s “last days of freedom” (as separate entities). NB: These ceremonies are usually gendered and responsive to social change 8  Wedding! Wedding is: The central/main event for solidifying marital union Cultural: not the same across borderlines Religious – it involves the use of religious symbols and rooted in religious beliefs Wedding rituals are constantly changing as the society changes Economic change: the cost of wedding can be daunting from preparation to the actual ceremony and post-events (e.g. honeymoon) Commoditization of wedding Impacts of legislations/politics Individualization 9  Importance of Wedding Theoretically, both functionalists and symbolic interactionists believe that rituals ‘rituals, like other practices, exist in society because they fulfill specific functions’. They cease to exist or get modified as soon as they fail to perform these functions. Hence, wedding rituals, according to Medora (2014), fulfill the following: 1. Serve as a transitional rite for an individual moving from one life stage to another (from single to married) 2. Provide (re)assurance that one is making correct choice of partner, and has approval of family and friends 3. Unite two families and fostering emotional bonds between and among these families 10 The Marriage Market The process involved in matching people for marriage. The term is economic. Chinese marriage market as an example. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxs__ FsgGdc 11  Drivers/Reasons for Traditional Wedding Prestige. In the words of Medora (2014), “as marriage rates begin to decline, marriage itself comes a ‘marker of prestige’”. Legal benefits: as opposed to other forms of relationships, trust and loyalty are legally enforceable after in marriage. Put differently, the risk of one partner ending the relationship without consequences is lower in marriage. Conspicuous consumerism: extravagance is the hallmark of societal weddings in contemporary sense. Proliferation and bourgeoning of the bridal industry Media: traditional and new media platforms 12 Weddings in the Past Weddings necessary for marriage because a social institution requires public affirmation Witnessing is important Weddings were “communal celebrations embedded in a system of reciprocity” The meaning of contemporary wedding has changed, although heavily gendered symbols are still used Weddings in the Past cont’d In 19th century North America, the bride dressed in a white gown that symbolized virginity and “True Womanhood” Flowers worn as garlands were also symbols of the bride’s virtue Giving away the bride originated in the idea that the father “owned” his daughter Once a woman married, her husband took over ownership One wedding ritual that has almost disappeared is charivari Evolution of Weddings through the Twentieth Century Weddings before the 20th century were public events with predictable symbols Became more individualized and included consumer rites, which involve “invented traditions or elaborations of older customs” Meanings of wedding rings and wedding dresses The establishment of the Wedding Bureau; today’s wedding consultant and wedding planner Media coverage of celebrity weddings Weddings in the Twenty-first Century The wedding industry's adoption of the “language of commodity and commerce” The commercialization of intimate life Outsourcing the task of wedding planning does little to change gendered responsibility: The bride is the one who works with the Wedding Planner Very lavish weddings often contribute to a couple’s indebtedness Destination weddings in exotic places Alternative Approaches LGBTQ weddings Wedding rituals implicate LGBTQ family members as “others” or outsiders Same-sex weddings: the issue of achieving “sameness” or “difference” with heterosexual weddings Bahá’í weddings are legally recognized throughout Canada New Brunswick requires the local Bahá’í governing body to register a “marriage officer” “Marriage officer” represents the province but does not perform the wedding as a clergy person would Alternative Approaches cont’d Weddings in the Bahá’í Faith, a religion that emphasizes lack of ritual in everyday life: Has no clergy No officiating minister Two witnesses must be present Bahá’í wedding can be as simple or as elaborate as the couple wishes it to be Bride and groom recite the phrase “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God”  Honeymoons Honeymoon is the final rite of passage for newly married couple—a “late” rite More individualized and more routinized during the 20th and 21st centuries Provides the first opportunity for each member of the couple to “discover” the “self” as a marital partner Today’s honeymoon has a cultural script Honeymoon is optional Renewal Rituals Renewing vows by couples often symbolize milestones in the union Renewal of vows can either be a private of public event, it can also be traditional or a routine Gifts presented to couples for each anniversary symbolize the strength of marriage as it endures: metaphorically, the older the better. Renewing marriage vows is a rite of progression This rite often serves as a direct response to high divorce rate Rites of Separation Associated with death including funeral, memorial service, etc. Group/private mourning Registration of condolences They provide a transformation of the sense of self, the transition to a new social status, and a connection to that which is lost These rites vary across cultures. Examples include: Traditional Suttee in Indian culture: This is a practice that required the wife of the deceased to jump into the funeral pyre and be cremated with her husband Isolation of widows among some cultural groups in West Africa Separation Rites: Then and Now The belief in re-incarnation (especially among traditional people of India and Africa) in gradually diminishing or fizzling away completely Commercialization of funeral is prevalent today than in the past. Before the 1970s, funerals were “fixed events” that offered the widowed person a strong sense of “symbolic communitas” New funeral rituals focus on “personalization,” on the “unique qualities of the deceased”. Eulogizing and profiling of the deceased tends to overshadow the sacredness of mourning in contemporary sense. Separation Rites: Then and Now Cont’d With increasing freedom to choose in today’s world, some individuals can choose “no funeral”. Some spouses or family members can go against or maintain the deceased wishes “Celebrate the life” rather than “mourn the death” is the new approach to funeral and memorial gatherings The kind of parties organized is usually predicated on a number of factors: Economy Personality: both of the departed person and the relatives Culture, etc Separation Rites: Then and Now Cont’d The role of Internet and social media: Individuals are now memorialized on internet sites like Instagram, Facebook, etc. Commoditization Location/relocation Mourning rituals accompany funerals in giving meaning to the end of marriage Rules about how widowed people should dress or how family and community members should support them are fast changing in contemporary sense. Separation Rites: Then and Now Cont’d The stigma of widowhood still exists but there are no norms to tell the members of the community how to act In some religious communities vestiges of liminality still exist, e.g. Jewish shiva (weeklong mourning for first degree relatives) Death not the only way to end a marriage; divorce can be associated with this rite of separation Recently, formal separation by a couple through divorce is becoming celebrated or commiserated. The Flipside of Family Rituals Exploitation Economic Gender Class Role of media and technology Burden/feeling of indebtedness to collective solidarity/consciousness They are not always sustainable Conclusion Secularization, individualization, and commercialization of rituals in society have increased Rites of passage, progression, or separation, continue to promote a gendered view of marriage The rites of passage, particularly the wedding, which once provided the legal and social approval for having children, has become an event “centered on and controlled by the couple… having less to do with family approval or having children” Conclusion, cont’d It appears that couples are depending more on their own resources for marriage and family formation This move towards privatization means that people cannot or do not depend on their community in times of joy or sorrow Only the future will tell whether the pendulum may, at some time, swing the other way