Communication Styles PDF

COMMUNICATIO N STYLES CONTINUATION INTRODUCTION ▪ Communication styles are patterns of communication and interpersonal behavior that people tend to repeat across different social settings. ▪ There are four types of communication styles: 2...

COMMUNICATIO N STYLES CONTINUATION INTRODUCTION ▪ Communication styles are patterns of communication and interpersonal behavior that people tend to repeat across different social settings. ▪ There are four types of communication styles: 2 INTRODUCTION There are four types of communication styles: ▪ Passive ▪ Passive-Aggressive ▪ Aggressive ▪ Assertive 3 Some sources even add a “manipulative” communication style, but that’s a different thing in our opinion, and passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive can all be manipulative. 4 5 “ “Albeit we use all of them at least some of the times, most people tend to mostly stick to one of them.” -Lucio Buffalmano 6  PASSIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE 8 Observe the behavior 9 1 0 How is Jerry’s behavior passive? Aggressive: look Jerry, you’re not selling me a damn car. It’s my show here. That’s that Passive: (puts his head down, looks up to the second highest authority in the room) 1 1 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Gives in to unreasonable demands Another weekend in the office for extra unpaid work? Uhmm, OK. No, no trouble at all. 1 2 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Goes along with the crowd You all want to go to McDonald’s? I don’t mind that I’m on diet, it sounds great 1 3 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Withholds opinion out of fear What do I think of cannabis liberalization? What do you guys think about it? All stoner should be imprisoned for life? Yeah, I can agree with that… 1 4 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Withhold any feedback that might come across as criticism Yeah, I had to redo your budget report, but I don’t mind some Excel work, you’re doing fine 1 5 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Over-Apologize Oh, I’m sorry I was standing here, you bumped into me, and that I spilled my full glass of wine over my new suit 1 6 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Never take proper credit, always minimize one’s own contribution Nah, it was OK, I was already awake at 3am, so no problem getting dressing and come pick you up 1 7 The passive person is often passive to avoid conflict. Passive individuals struggle to enter win-win exchanges and are more likely to remain stuck in win-lose exchanges, as well as in manipulative relationships 1 8  AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE “ “Even if you’re not sure how to define it, you probably know it when you see it.” -Lucio Buffalmano 2 0 AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR INCLUDES ONE OR SOME OF THE FOLLOWING: Yelling Visible signs of anger Rude or disrespectful behavior (dismissive in the case of covert aggression) Visible signs of emotional turmoil (or the opposite with total icy detachment) 2 1 AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR INCLUDES ONE OR SOME OF THE FOLLOWING: Open and direct threats, even if delivered calmly Body language that suggests the possibility of an attack Physical shoving or pushing, or the threat of physical aggression Stand closer, or purposefully far away to communicate superiority or disgust 2 2 Is there a scenario that Aggressive Comm. Style a good approach? 2 3  PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE A mix of both… is that any good? ▪ The passive-aggressive types mix elements of both the passive and aggressive style 2 5 They are as afraid of standing up for themselves as the passive type but have the same drive to control as the aggressive type. 2 6 The result is a mix: Capitulation out of fear Followed by unexpressed anger Followed by undercover aggression and sabotage to get it their way, or to exact revenge 2 7 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Passive-aggressives like to take things negatively (Williams, 2020) 2 8 “ “This is why you want to avoid passive-aggression at all costs: it poisons your interactions as well as your mood.” -Lucio Buffalmano 2 9 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Fight Without Fighting ▪ For example, they might see you’re about to commit a mistake, but don’t tell you anything because they think that your loss is their win. 3 0 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Fight Without Fighting ▪ Or they might be the coworkers who “forget” to CC you in the customer email, so that you don’t stay in the loop. 3 1 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Do Things Improperly They fear saying no, so they say yes. But they still want to find a way out. Result? They half-ass their work. 3 2 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Are Non-Committal Hard to pinpoint whether they’re telling you yes or no, and it’s often premeditated. That way, they keep their options open to do whatever they please. 3 3 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Leave “hints” instead of talking directly Instead of asking you to do your part of the cleaning, they might clean only their side of the flat. 3 4 SOME TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVES Cuss & threaten, but murmuring The passive-aggressive might be seething with anger, but: Fears of his own anger Fears he will be punished for honest expression 3 Fears the confrontation, or the consequences of 5 3 6 How is Jerry’s behavior passive- aggressive? Him: (irritated and fighting his own irritation, moving towards aggression) Ma’am! I answered your question Her: I’m sorry sir? Him: (moves back to passive, tries to smile more) Ma’am, I answered you question. I answered. I’m cooperating here, and there is no… (mutters) Her: (going on the offensive) Sir, you have no call in getting snippy with me, I’m just doing my job 3 7 here What can we say about the cop’s behavior? She was also not being fully assertive. Especially the “just” part, it’s a defensive statement, and she had no reason to be defensive, she has all the rights to keep questioning. 3 8 What can we say about the cop’s behavior? A more assertive response from her would have been: I understand this is frustrating, but I am investigating a crime, and I intend to do it properly. And I need you to cooperate with me sir 3 9 What can we say about the cop’s behavior? If she wanted to make her statement even higher power and hold an even stronger frame, she could have added some “higher values”, for example:’ I owe to the victim and to his family 4 0 The “Too nice Passive-Aggressive” Avoiding The “Too Nice Passive- Aggressive” Sometimes you behave passive- aggressive even when you’re not a passive-aggressive type. Well, since anger and enmity are frowned upon, people can sometimes over-deny those feelings. 4 2 But then, when they show up, they will look like hypocrites. ▪ Look at this scene for example: 4 3 Avoiding The “Too Nice Passive- Aggressive” Rossi: It sounds to me a bit strange, because in reality, we don’t have any problem (and then refuses to shake hands with the man he “has no problem with”) 4 4 Handling passive- aggressives Handling passive- aggressives ▪ Remain calm ▪ Remove them from your team ▪ Let them know, you know: go 4 6 meta  ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE Assertiveness is relevant to power dynamics and social effectiveness because there is an overlap between “assertive” and 4 8 “high-power” ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE Assertiveness and Power People who master assertion tend to come across as confident, high-power, and generally high-quality individuals who get things done. 4 9 ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE Assertiveness and Power They don’t overpower others, so they also tend to develop strong long-term relationships, which enables them to develop win-win far more than aggressive individuals can 5 0 WHAT DOES ASSERTION INCLUDE? ASSERTION INCLUDES: Boundaries Having, maintaining, and enforcing personal boundaries of: ▪ Basic respect ▪ Privacy ▪ Time ▪ Personal freedoms 5 2 ASSERTION INCLUDES: Timely and honest communication Assertive communication is timely, honest, precise, and often direct. It includes the communication of wants, needs, emotions, feelings, 5 goals, and boundaries. 3 ASSERTION INCLUDES: Expecting and encouraging honest and direct communication expecting, demanding, and/or encouraging direct and honest communication from others 5 4 ASSERTION INCLUDES: Standing behind one’s choices, opinions, & feelings the assertive communicator acknowledges and stands behind his choices, opinions, and feelings 5 5 ASSERTIVENESS AND POWER There is an overlap between “assertive” and “high- power” the assertive communicator acknowledges and stands behind his choices, opinions, and 5 6 feelings ASSERTIVENESS AND POWER High-power assertion includes high-power vulnerability, such as admitting one’s own negative or antisocial feelings. 5 This is the “accepting one’s own dark side” 7 5 8 ASSERTIVENESS AND POWER Interviewer: So in the past 2 years you’ve been like two old friends again.. Lorenzo: (after talking about Rossi as a great champion) No, I don’t think we are friends (states the truth, openly and frankly)… But the most important thing is to have respect, and I have huge respect for Vale, and I think he has the same for me (moves into a collaborative 5 frame) 9 ASSERTIVENESS AND POWER That shows “high-power assertive”. Rossi was high-power in the previous video example, but NOT assertive in admitting and standing behind his feelings.And that made him come across as sneaky. Lorenzo admits very candidly of not being friends with Rossi. All the while complimenting him and building him up. 6 That is Very high-quality. 0  How do communication styles differ? How do communication styles differ? The different styles differ in their: ▪ Openness to communication ▪ Respect towards others 6 2 How do communication styles differ? 6 3 6 4 6 5 6 6 6 7 Overcoming Poor Communication Beliefs “ Overcoming Poor communication Beliefs It’s your beliefs and mindsets that determine your behavior. 6 9 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: “Dark” feelings such as anger and will to power are bad to have and even worse to show 7 0 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: Assertiveness means getting your own way all the time 7 1 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: Being assertive means being selfish 7 2 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: Other people can’t handle my assertiveness 7 3 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: People should be more considerate 7 4 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: I’m afraid of being assertive and failing 7 5 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: I have to convince others 7 6 Beliefs holding you back from reaching assertiveness: I must look good, strong, and happy 7 7 SUMMARY: Communication styles are patterns of behavior with which different people communicate and relate with others. Learning to use and adapt the right communication style for the right situation is a crucial skill for social and 7 life effectiveness. 8 Online References: ▪ Works Cited Buffalmano, Lucio. “Assertiveness: 6 Steps to Empowered Communication.” Power Dynamics, 27 Nov. 2020, thepowermoves.com/assertiveness/ ▪.---. “Power Dynamics.” Thepowermoves.com, 2023, thepowermoves.com/category/power-dynamics/. Accessed 27 Mar. 2023. ▪ ---. “The 4 Communication Styles: Description & Examples.” Thepowermoves.com, 2023, thepowermoves.com/communication- styles/#1_Passive_Communication_Style. Accessed 27 Mar. 2023. ▪ ---. “The 4 Fundamental Principles of Social Success.” Power DynamicsTM, 30 Jan. 2020, thepowermoves.com/laws-of-social- success/. Accessed 27 Mar. 2023. 7 9  How do I communicate? 8 0 Free templates for all your presentation needs For PowerPoint and 100% free for Ready to use, Blow your audience Google Slides personal or professional and away with commercial use customizable attractive visuals 8 1