Degjimi PDF - Principles of Communication

# Unit I: Principles of Communication ## Chapter 5: Listening and Responding ### Learning Objectives * **Explain the principle of listening and responding thoughtfully to others.** * **Identify the elements of the listening process.** * **Describe four listening styles.** * **Identify and describ...

# Unit I: Principles of Communication ## Chapter 5: Listening and Responding ### Learning Objectives * **Explain the principle of listening and responding thoughtfully to others.** * **Identify the elements of the listening process.** * **Describe four listening styles.** * **Identify and describe barriers that keep people from listening well.** * **Identify and use strategies that can improve your listening skills.** * **Identify and use appropriate responding skills.** You’ve heard about distracted driving - driving while texting, talking on your phone, or looking at your GPS instead of the road. But have you heard about distracted listening? Researchers have found that even the presence of a phone when you are face-to-face with someone distracts from the quality of the conversation. Your tendency to periodically glance at the phone to see if someone has sent you a message results in distracted listening. In this chapter, we focus on the principle of increasing your sensitivity to others – your awareness of and concern for them – by listening. Becoming sensitive to others includes more than just understanding and interpreting their words, thoughts, and ideas. It also involves understanding the unspoken messages and emotions underlying the words. Increasing your skill in listening to others is one of the most productive ways to increase all these aspects of your communication sensitivity. As shown in the model of Communication Principles for a Lifetime, effective communicators do more than absorb a message - they also provide an appropriate response to the speaker. ### The Importance of Listening and Responding Skills **Explain the principle of listening and responding thoughtfully to others.** Some researchers suggest that because listening is the first communication skill we learn (we respond to sounds even while in our mother’s womb), it’s also the most important skill. Listening and responding skills are vital as we develop relationships with others, collaborate, and listen to lectures and speeches. You spend more time listening to others than almost anything else you do. Americans spend up to 90 percent of a typical day communicating with people, and spend more of that time listening to others than any other communication activity. As Figure 5.2 shows, you spend the least amount of your communication time writing, yet you receive more training in writing than in any other communication skill. Although these statistics are averages and vary from person to person, they give you an idea of the relationships among the various modes of communication. Most people have not had any formal training at all in listening or responding. Reading this chapter will provide you with the information and skills many people lack. ### Listening Enhances Our Relationships with Others Your skill as a listener has important implications for the relationships you establish with others. In interpersonal communication situations, the essence of being a good conversationalist is being a good listener. Listening to others is a way to express your interest in, compassion for, and even your love for another. We feel closer to other people when we sense they have truly listened to us. Even when using social media, we expect our friends to “listen” to us when we post or tweet. Listening also influences how others respond to us; when people are in the presence of someone whom they perceive to be a good listener, they are likely to respond with greater empathy and interest. One research study found that a key difference between couples who remain married and those who divorce is the ability to listen to each other. Closeness communication bias is a specific problem that occurs when listening to people we know well and love. This bias occurs because we think we know what the other person will say, so we don’t focus on his or her message. Partners in marriages that endure report that being a good listener is key to a satisfying marital relationship. ### Listening Helps Us Work Collaboratively with Others People who are perceived to be good listeners enjoy greater success in their jobs than those who are viewed to be poor listeners. For example, physicians, nurses, and other healthcare professionals who are good listeners are perceived to be more competent and skilled than those who listen poorly. Research has also found that workers who thought of their supervisors as "good listeners" reported being happier, more satisfied on the job, and more content with their work-life balance. Research has also found that people rate organizations more favorably if they are perceived to “listen and respond,” even via social media.
 One of the hallmarks of an effective leader is being a good listener. Author Robert Caro, who has spent a lifetime studying U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson, found that although Johnson was perceived as a persuasive and sometimes domineering speaker, he actually spent more time listening than speaking when in the presence of others. In transcribing Johnson's telephone recordings Caro concluded, “People think Johnson talks all the time. If you listen to these tapes, he often doesn’t talk at all for the first few minutes – he’s listening for what the guy really wants.”
 Effective listeners connect with those whom they lead and have a genuine interest in the needs of others.
 One study found that being a good listener was the most important skill to have when working with others in groups and teams. Your ability to listen and connect with others will affect your value to other group members whether you are the appointed or emerging leader of a group or a member. Group members who verbally dominate meetings are not usually held in high esteem. Groups need people who can listen and connect conversational threads that often become tangled or dropped during group dialogue. ### Listening Links Speaker and Audience Without effective listening skills, you’ll likely miss some messages in public speaking situations. Listening skills are especially important when you need to understand and retain spoken information. There is evidence, for example, that listening skills correlate with academic ability. One study found that almost half of college students who had low scores on a listening test were on academic probation at the end of their first year in college. In comparison, just over 4 percent of the students who had high scores on the same listening test were on academic probation. Improving your listening skills can improve your grade-point average. Neuroscience research has also found that listening is enhanced when the brainwaves of speakers and listeners are in sync. So being a good listener can literally help you make a positive neurobiological connection with a speaker. Listening is not just for audience members; it is also important for speakers. Good speakers are audience-centered. They consider the needs of their listeners first. They understand what will hold listeners’ attention. Many effective speakers acquire this knowledge by listening to audience members one on one before a talk or lecture. Effective speakers also listen to the feedback from their audiences and use that feedback to adjust their speeches while giving them. ### How We Listen **Identify the elements of the listening process.** Do you know someone who is interpersonally inert? Interpersonally inert people are those who just don’t “get it.” You can drop hints that it’s late and you’d rather they head home instead of playing another hand of cards, but they don’t pick up on your verbal and nonverbal cues. The physiological processes that let their ears translate sound waves into information in the brain may be working so they can hear you, but they certainly aren’t listening; they are not making sense out of your symbols. **Hearing** is the physiological process of decoding sounds. You hear when the sound waves reach your eardrum. Hearing and listening are two different processes. **Listening** is the process we use to make sense out of what we hear; it is a complex process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages. Listening involves five activities: *(1) selecting, (2) attending, (3) understanding, (4) remembering,* and *(5) responding*. Understanding these five elements in the listening process can help you diagnose where you sometimes get off track when listening and figure out how to get back on track to increase your listening skill. **Selecting** To listen, you must first **select**, or focus on, one sound among the myriad noises always competing for your attention. Even now, as you are reading this text, there are probably countless sounds within earshot. Stop reading for a moment. What sounds surround you? Do you hear music? Is a TV on? Can you hear traffic noises or birds? Maybe there is the tick of a clock, a whir of a computer, a whoosh of a furnace or an air conditioner. A listener who is sensitive to others selects the sound or nonverbal behavior that symbolizes meaning. The interpersonally inert person does not pick up on the same clues, because he or she is oblivious to the information. **Attending**
 After selecting a sound, you **attend** to it. To attend is to maintain a sustained focus on a particular message. When you change channels on your TV, you first select the channel and then attend to the program you’ve selected. Just as you tune in to TV programs that reflect your taste in entertainment while you channel surf, you attend to the messages of others that satisfy your needs or whims. Attending to a message is vital to being a good listener, yet there is evidence that our attention span is decreasing. A person who is skilled in maintaining sustained attention to a message (just listening without interrupting) is perceived as a better listener than someone with a “restless mind.” **Understanding** To understand is to assign meaning to messages - to **interpret** a message by making sense out of what you hear. You can select and attend to sounds and nonverbal cues but not interpret what you see and hear. Understanding occurs when you relate what you hear and see to your experiences or knowledge. Perhaps you have heard the Montessori school philosophy (based on an old Chinese proverb): “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.” It is when we can relate our experiences to what we hear, see, and do that we achieve understanding. **Remembering** To **remember** is to #recall information. Remembering is considered part of the listening process because it is the primary way we determine whether a message was understood. But you can’t actually retrieve or remember all the bits of information you experience; your eye is not a camera; your ear is not a microphone; your mind is not a hard drive. Sometimes, even though you were present, you have no recollection of what occurred in a particular situation. When we are not aware of our actions, our thoughts, or what we perceive – when we are mindless – our ability to remember what occurs plummets. We increase our ability to remember what we hear by being not only physically present, but also mentally present. You tend to remember what is important to you (such as the time of a meeting mentioned in a voice message) or something you try to remember (like the information in this text for your next communication test). You tend to remember dramatic information (such as where you were when you heard extremely good news or bad news) or vital information (such as your phone number or your mom’s birthday). **Responding** As you learned in Chapter 1, communication is a transactive process, not a one-way, linear one. Communication involves responding to others as well as simply articulating messages. You respond to let people know that you understand their message. Your lack of response may signal that you didn’t understand the message. Your predominant response is often unspoken; direct eye contact and head nods let your partner know you’re tuned in. An unmoving, glassy-eyed, frozen stupor may tell your communication partner that you are physically present yet mentally a thousand miles away. As you’ll discover in the next section, you likely have a certain style of listening and responding to others. ### Listening Styles **Describe four listening styles.** Your listening style is your *preferred way of making sense out of the messages you hear and see.* Researchers have found that you tend to listen using one or more of four listening styles: *relational, analytic, critical,* and *task-oriented.* The specific style you use depends on your personality, the specific listening situation, and your listening goal. **Relational Listening Style** Relational listeners tend to prefer listening to people’s emotions and feelings. They are especially interested in hearing personal information from others. Perhaps for that reason, evidence suggests that relational-oriented listeners are less apprehensive than people with other listening styles when communicating in small groups and interpersonal situations, and especially when listening to just one other person. A person with a relational listening style searches for common interests and seeks to empathize with the feelings of others—she or he connects emotionally with the sentiments and passions others express. Relational listeners seem to have greater skill than other listeners in empathizing with and understanding the thoughts and feelings of others. One study found that jurors who are relational listeners are less likely to find a defendant at fault in a civil court trial, perhaps because of their tendency to empathize with others. Research also shows that relational listeners have a greater tendency than those with other listening styles to be sympathetic to the person to whom they are listening. A sympathetic listener is more likely to voice concern about the other person’s welfare when that person is sharing personal information or news about a stressful situation. A sympathetic listener says, for instance, “Oh, Pat, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.” They are also more likely to use a relational listening style when listening to others share personal information about themselves. **Analytical Listening Style** Analytical listeners listen for facts and tend to withhold judgment before reaching a specific conclusion. Analytical listeners would make good judges; they generally consider all sides of an issue before making a decision or reaching a conclusion. They tend to listen to an entire message before assessing the validity of the information they hear. To help them analyze information, they take the perspective of the person to whom they are listening, which helps them suspend judgment. Analytical listeners also like the information they hear to be well organized so that they can clearly and easily analyze it. While listening to a rambling personal story, the analytic listener focuses on the facts and details of the story rather than on the emotions being expressed. Analytical listeners prefer listening to rich message content and then finding ways of organizing or making sense of the information. **Critical Listening Style** Critical listeners are good at evaluating the information they hear. They are able to identify inconsistencies in what someone says. They are comfortable listening to detailed, complex information and focusing on the facts, yet they are especially adept at noting contradictions in the facts presented. Critical listeners are also likely to catch errors in the overall logic and reasoning being used to reach a conclusion. In addition, skilled critical listeners are able to effectively recognize patterns in what they hear, compare and contrast new information with previous knowledge, and re-evaluate prior knowledge based on the new information. Critical listeners tend to be a bit more skeptical and demanding than relational listeners of the information they hear. Researchers call this skepticism *second guessing* —questioning the assumptions underlying a message. It’s called second guessing because critical listeners don’t always assume that what they hear is accurate or relevant; they make a second guess about the accuracy of the information they hear. Accuracy of information is especially important to critical listeners because if they are going to use the information in some way, they want it to be valid. **Task-Oriented Listening Style** Task-oriented listeners are more interested in focusing on a specific outcome or task than on the communication relationship when listening to others. They emphasize completing a specific transaction such as solving a problem, taking action, or making a purchase. Task-oriented listeners focus on verbs—*what needs to be done.* Consequently, they don’t like to listen to rambling, descriptive messages that don’t seem to have a point. They appreciate efficient communicators who organize messages so that their listeners can focus on the outcomes—the “bottom line.”
 ### The Benefits of Understanding Your Listening Style There are at least three reasons to think about your listening style and those of others: *(1) to enhance your self-awareness, (2) to adapt your own listening style to different situations,* and *(3) to communicate more effectively.* **Enhance Your Self-Awareness** Understanding your preferred listening style can help you become more aware of how you behave in communication situations. Some research suggests that women are more likely to be relational listeners, whereas men have a tendency to assume one of the other listening styles. Your listening style, however, may be less influenced by your sex than by the overall approach you take to interpreting and remembering the information you hear. Your cultural traditions, one research team suggests, may have a major influence on your particular listening style. People from a more individualistic, self-focused cultural perspective (such as the United States) tend to be more action-oriented listeners than people from other places. Relational listeners, according to research, are more likely to have collectivistic values, are group-oriented, or were raised in a collaborative cultural tradition (such as some Asian cultures). You may wonder, "Do I have just one listening style, or do I have more than one?" According to researchers Larry Barker and Kittie Watson, who have done extensive research into listening styles, about 40 percent of all listeners have one primary listening style that they use, especially if they are under stress. Another 40 percent of listeners use more than one style—for example, they may prefer to listen to evaluate (critical listening style), but they also want the information delivered in a short amount of time, and they want it focused on the task to be accomplished (task-oriented listening style). About 20 percent of people do not have a *specific listening style preference.* *These individuals may want to avoid listening altogether because they are shy and don’t like to be around others in social situations, they may have receiver apprehension, or they may just have listener burnout—they are weary of listening to other people.* Or they may not have a predominant style because they are good at adapting to others. **Adapt to Different Listening Situations** Knowing your preferred listening style can help you adapt and adjust your listening style to fit the specific listening situation you are experiencing. Evidence suggests that the occasion, time, and place all have an effect on the listening style or styles you adopt. For example, if you tend to be a relational listener and you are listening to a message that has little information about people but lots of technical details, you will have to work harder than other types of listeners to stay tuned in to the message. Research has found that you sometimes adjust your listening style to fit your listening goal. If you are listening to your communication professor tell you what will be covered on the next exam, you may shift to a task-oriented or critical listening style because you want to do well on the test. But when your roommate tells you about his frustrating day, you may adopt a more relational listening style. **Communicate Effectively** Your awareness of others’ listening styles can help you communicate messages that they are more likely to listen to. If you know that your spouse is an analytical listener, you should communicate a message that is rich in information because that’s what your spouse prefers. Tell the analytical listener, “Here are three things I have to tell you,” and then say those three things. The information preview tells your analytical listener that you are about to convey three pieces of information. There is evidence that telling a story, rather than just sharing unrelated bits of information, can help people enhance their listening skills; this is especially effective when talking to relational listeners. It may be difficult to determine someone’s listening style, especially if you don’t know the person very well. But it is worth the time to try and determine what it is. Keep in mind that it is easier to consider the listening styles of people you do know well, such as your family members, coworkers, instructors, or boss. ### Listening Barriers **Identify and describe barriers that keep people from listening well.** Although we spend almost half of our communication time listening, some say we don’t use that time well. One day after hearing something, most people remember *only about half of what was said.* Two days later, our retention drops by another 50 percent. The result: *Two days after hearing a lecture or speech, most of us remember *only about 25 percent of what we heard.* Our listening deteriorates not only when we listen to speeches or lectures, but also when we interact interpersonally or in small groups. Even in the most intimate relationships (or perhaps we should say *especially in the most intimate relationships*), we tune out what others are saying. One study reported that we sometimes pay more attention to strangers than to our close friends or spouses. Married couples tend to interrupt each other more often than unmarried couples and are usually less polite to each other than are strangers involved in a simple decision-making task. What keeps us from listening well? The most critical elements are *(1) self barriers*—self-centered habits that work against listening well, *(2) information-processing barriers*—the way we mentally manage information, and *(3) context barriers*—the surroundings in which we listen. **Self Barriers** “We have met the enemy and he is us” is an oft-quoted line from the vintage comic strip *Pogo.* Evidence suggests that we are our own worst enemy when it comes to listening to others. We often attend to our own internal dialogues and diatribes instead of to others’ messages, and when we do, our listening effectiveness plummets. **Self-Focus** A self-focused communicator thinks about what he or she is going to say next rather than listening to the other person. Most of us are egocentric—self-focused—although we may develop a consciousness of others’ needs as we grow and mature. Scholars of evolution might argue that it is good that we are self-focused; looking out for number one is what perpetuates the human race. Yet an exclusive focus on ourselves inhibits effective communication. While trying to listen, we may be carrying on an internal narration, one that is typically about us. “How long will I have to be here for this lecture?” “Wonder what’s for dinner tonight?” “She’s still talking—will we be out of here in ten minutes?” Focusing on such internal messages often keeps us from selecting and attending to the other person’s message. What can you do to regain your listening focus if you are focused on yourself rather than on the other person’s message? Consider these suggestions: * **Become aware of the problem.** Become consciously competent. Notice when you find yourself drifting off rather than concentrating on the speaker. * **Concentrate.** Yes, some messages are boring, useless, and stupid. But even if you think you’re listening to such a message, avoid mindlessly tuning it out. Developing a habit of quickly dismissing ideas and messages without making an effort to stay focused on them will degenerate your ability to listen well to other, more important messages. * **Be active rather than passive.** The key to concentration is finding ways to be actively involved in the communication process. Taking notes when appropriate and providing nonverbal and even sometimes verbal feedback can help keep your focus on the speaker rather than on yourself. If you don’t understand something the speaker says, ask for clarification. Don’t just sit there and “take it”; if you find your concentration waning, you’ll more than likely “leave it.” **Emotional Noise** Emotions are powerful. What we see and hear affects our emotions. Emotional noise occurs when our emotional arousal interferes with communication effectiveness. Certain words or phrases can arouse emotions very quickly, and, of course, the same word may arouse different emotions in different people. You respond emotionally because of your personal experiences, cultural background, religious convictions, or political philosophy. Words that reflect negatively on your nationality, ethnic origin, or religion can trigger strong emotional reactions. Cursing and obscene language may also reduce your listening efficiency. If you grew up in a home in which R-rated language was never used, four-letter words may distract you. The emotional state of the speaker may also affect your ability to understand and evaluate what you hear. Research has shown that if you are listening to someone who is emotionally distraught, you will be more likely to focus on his or her emotions than on the content of the message. Another researcher advises that when you are communicating with someone who is emotionally excited, you should remain calm and focused and try simply to communicate your interest in the other person. Developing an awareness of the effect that emotions have on your listening ability (such as how you feel after reading this section) is a constructive first step to avoid being ruled by unchecked emotions. Becoming consciously aware of our emotions and then talking to ourselves about our feelings is a way to avoid emotional sidetracks and keep your attention focused on the message. When emotionally charged words or actions kick your internal dialogue into high gear, make an effort to quiet it down and steer back to the subject at hand. The principle of self-awareness gives you choice and control. **Criticism** We usually associate the word criticism with negative judgments and attitudes. Although critiquing a message can provide positive as well as negative insights, most of us don’t like to be criticized. The well-known advocate for the poor, the late Mother Teresa, once said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Being inappropriately critical of the speaker may distract us from focusing on the message. There may be times when your intention is not to criticize, but your listening response indicates otherwise. What are some annoying listening behaviors that others might perceive as criticism? Here’s a list: * Interrupting * Vague or incoherent responses * Checking your phone * Looking at your watch * Searching for someone else as you look around the room * Fidgeting (tapping, shifting, or fiddling) It would be unrealistic to suggest that you never share critical opinions about speakers and their messages. It is realistic, however, to monitor your internal critiques of speakers to make sure you are aware of your biases. Good listeners say to themselves, “Although this speaker may be distracting, I am simply not going to let appearance or mannerisms keep my attention from the message.” Avoid using your mental energy to criticize a speaker unnecessarily; the longer your mental critique, the less you’ll remember. ### Information-Processing Barriers In addition to self barriers that contribute to our loss of focus on messages, the way we process the information we hear may keep us from being good listeners. Four information-processing listening barriers are *(1) processing rate, (2) information overload, (3) receiver apprehension,* and *(4) shifting attention.* **Processing Rate** You can think faster than people speak. Most people speak 125 words per minute, give or take a few words. You have the tremendous ability, however, to process four to ten times that amount of information. Some people can listen to 600 to 800 words per minute and still make sense out of what a speaker is saying; another estimate puts the processing rate up to 1,200 words per minute. Yet another estimate claims that we think not just in words but also in images and sounds: We can process *2,000 bits of information per minute* for short periods of time. This difference between the average speaking rate and your capacity to make sense out of words as they register in your cortical centers can cause trouble. You have extra time on your hands to tune in to your own thoughts rather than focusing on the speaker. You can use your information-processing rate to your advantage if you apply this extra time to mentally summarize what a speaker is saying. By periodically sprinkling in mental summaries during a conversation, you can dramatically improve your listening ability and make the speech-rate/thought-rate difference work to your advantage. **Information Overload** One word to describe many beleaguered listeners is “weary.” We spend 55 percent of our communication time listening, and the pace at which information zips toward us exhausts us. The millions of words we hear each year contribute to our fatigue. The pace has only increased now that much of that information is electronic. Incoming email, texts, voice messages, or social media updates can interrupt conversations and distract us from listening to others. Again we recommend self-awareness. Be on the alert for drifting attention because of information overload. And when the encroaching information dulls your attentiveness, either take a break or consider conducting some communication triage—determining what’s urgent and what’s not so that you can focus on the information that is most important. **Receiver Apprehension** Just as some people are fearful of presenting a speech or speaking up during a meeting, research suggests that some people are fearful of receiving information. Receiver apprehension is fear of misunderstanding or misinterpreting the messages spoken by others or of not being able to adjust psychologically to messages expressed by others. Some people may be fearful of receiving new information because they worry about being able to understand it. Or apprehension may be a characteristic of the way some people respond psychologically to information; they may not be able to make sense out of some of what they hear, which causes them to be anxious or fearful of listening to others. There is evidence that if English is not your native language, you are likely to experience receiver apprehension when listening to someone speak English. If you are fearful of receiving information, you’ll remember less information. If you know that you are fearful of listening to new information, you’ll have to work harder than others to understand the information presented. Recording video or audio of a lecture may help you feel more comfortable and less anxious about trying to remember every point. Becoming actively involved in the listening experience by taking notes or mentally repeating information to yourself may also help. **Shifting Attention** Can you multitask? A few people can easily do two things at once, but our performance on at least one of the tasks suffers when most of us try it. Some evidence suggests that men who have a masculine listening style have a tendency to lock onto a message and are less adept at shifting between two or more simultaneous conversations. ### Diversity & Communication **Does Your Gender Influence Your Listening Style?** Researchers have identified a number of different listening styles, including a *feminine style* (a more relational approach) and a *masculine style* (more task-oriented). | Different Listening Focus | Feminine Listening Style | Masculine Listening Style | |---|---|---| | | Tends to search for existing relationships among separate pieces of information | Tends to look for a new organizational pattern when listening | | | Tends to identify individual facts | Tends to listen for the big picture | | | Tends to shift listening focus among people who may be speaking at the same time | Tends to lock on to a specific message without shifting between two or more conversations | | | More likely to listen for new information to gain greater understanding | More likely to listen to new informtion to solve a problem | | | Tends to use information to develop relationships with listening partners | Tends to show less concern about relationship cues | | | Tends to have greater motivation to provide supportive feedback | Tends to have less motivation to provide supportive feedback | Listening experts Stephanie Sargent and James Weaver suggest that studies of listening style differences between men and women may simply be measuring listening stereotypes or a self-fulfilling prophecy: Men and women assume that they are listening the way they think that they should listen. Although we have noted some perceived differences between masculine and feminine listening styles, our intention is not to promote sex-based stereotypes. Listening differences reflect people’s preferred listening styles and are not necessarily based on biological sex differences. These characterizations may vary based on a person’s socially constructed gender and are not always based on one’s biological sex as male or female. The following chart summarizes research conclusions from several studies about feminine and masculine listening styles. They seem lost in thought—oblivious to other voices around them. In contrast, those who have a feminine listening style are more likely to carry on a conversation with one person while also focusing on a message they hear nearby. This difference doesn’t mean that women are more likely to eavesdrop intentionally, but it does mean that some women have a greater ability to listen to two things at once. What are the implications? If you have a feminine listening style, you may want to stop and focus on the messages of others rather than on either internal or external competing messages. And if you have a more masculine listening style, you may need to be sensitive to others who may want to speak to you rather than becoming fixated on your own internal message or on a single external message such as a TV program. **Cultural Differences** Different cultures place different emphases on the importance of listening. Some cultures are more source- or speaker-oriented, whereas others are more receiver or listener-oriented. North American communication, for example, often centers on the sender. Much emphasis is placed on how senders can formulate better messages, improve credibility, and polish their delivery skills. Recently, there has been increased interest in listening in the United States. In contrast, East Asian cultures typically emphasize listening and interpretation. The Chinese culture, for example, places considerable emphasis on the listener. It’s understood by both speaker and listener that the listener can make infinite interpretations of what has been said. A strategy called **anticipatory communication** is common in Japan. Instead of having the speaker explicitly say or ask for what he or she wants, listeners guess and accommodate the speaker’s needs, sparing him or her the embarrassment that could arise if the verbally expressed request could not be met. Thus, foreign students from East Asia may be puzzled about why they are constantly being asked what they want when visiting American homes. In their home countries, a good communicator should anticipate what others want and act accordingly, so the host or hostess should not have to ask what is needed. ### Critical/Cultural Perspectives & Communication **What Are Your Listening Expectations and Assumptions?** How you are expected to listen depends, in large part, on the listening context. For example, the listening role you are expected to assume when your angry roommate complains about keeping the kitchen tidy versus hanging out with friends at the beach is obviously different. With whom you are communicating has implications for how you listen. Does the person have power to influence you, such as your boss, or are you the one with the power? Because of the other person’s power or position, is there an expectation that you will just politely listen and not respond? Or, if you are among equals during a meeting, are you expected to challenge ideas and be a critical listener? If you are the person in the room with the most power, do you use that power to listen to others and empower them, or do you use power to control them? Being aware of the listening context can help you become a more sensitive listener, which can help you assess when to confront listening assumptions or expectations. Sometimes it is appropriate to be assertive. But before you challenge your listening role, it is useful to first be aware of what those role expectations and assumptions are. In Japan, instead of having the speaker explicitly say or ask for what he or she wants, listeners guess and accommodate the speaker’s needs, sparing him or her the embarrassment that could arise if the verbally expressed request could not be met. Thus, foreign students from East Asia may be puzzled about why they are constantly being asked what they want when visiting American homes. In their home countries, a good communicator should anticipate what others want and act accordingly, so the host or hostess should not have to ask what is needed. ### Content Barriers In addition to the barriers that relate to how you process information and those that occur when your emotions and thoughts crowd out a message, listening barriers can arise from the *communication context or situation.* *Noise* is anything that interferes with your ability to listen to a message. Although you may think of it as sounds you hear, noise can be processed by any one of your five senses. Not only sounds, but also sights, the feeling of something touching you, and even tastes and smells can affect your listening ability. Two factors that can increase interfering noise are when you listen and where you listen. **Barriers of Time** Are you a morning person or an evening person? Morning people are cheerfully and chirpily at their mental peak before lunch. Evening people find it easier to tackle major projects after dark; they are at their worst when they arise in the morning. The time of day *can affect your listening acuity.* If you know you are sharper in the morning, schedule your key listening times then whenever possible. Evening listeners should try to shift heavy listening to the evening hours. Of course, that’s not always practical. If you can’t change the time of listening, you can increase your awareness of when you will need to listen with greater concentration. Daily activities, such as work, can also cause timing issues. When a person wants to converse with you at a time when *you’re busy with other things,* for example, it may be tempting to try to do two things at once. We have all tried to get away with a few “uh-huhs” and “mm-hmms” to indicate that we’re listening to everything that’s being said while, in fact, our attention was divided. Respect the effect of timing on other people, too. Don’t assume that because you are ready to talk, the other person is ready to listen. If your message is particularly sensitive or important, you may want to ask your listening partner, “Is this a good time to talk?” Even if he or she says yes, look for eye contact and a responsive facial expression to make sure the positive response is genuine. **Barriers of Place** *Listening takes all the powers of concentration you can muster. A good listener seeks a quiet time and place to maximize listening comprehension.* For most people, the best listening environment is one that offers as few distractions as possible. When you want to talk to someone, pick a quiet time and place, especially if you plan to discuss a complex or potentially difficult topic. Even in your own home, it may be a challenge to find a quiet time to talk. Closing a door or window, turning off music or the TV, asking noisy or offensive talkers to converse more quietly or not at all, and simply moving to a less distracting location are steps you may need to take to manage noise. ### Listening Skills **Identify and use strategies that can improve your listening skills.** At the heart of listening is developing *sensitivity to focus on the messages of others* rather than on your own thoughts. A skilled listener is attentive, friendly, and responsive to others. Good listeners also maintain the flow of the conversation and provide feedback indicating that the message was understood. In this section, we discuss several specific underlying skills that will increase your sensitivity so you can be a good listener. At first glance, the skills we present may look deceptively simple—as simple as the advice given to most elementary students about crossing the street: *(1) stop,