7 Habits .pdf

The Seven Habits of Highly E ective People by Stephen R Covey Habit 4: Think Win/ Win See all diagram from text Principles of Interpersonal Leadership - Commit Golden rule to life - Stepping from independence into interdependence in any capacity, you ste...

The Seven Habits of Highly E ective People by Stephen R Covey Habit 4: Think Win/ Win See all diagram from text Principles of Interpersonal Leadership - Commit Golden rule to life - Stepping from independence into interdependence in any capacity, you step into a leadership role - Leadership role is a position of in uencing others - E ective Interpersonal Leadership is Think Win/ Win - Win/ Win - Philosophy of human interaction - It only takes one person to think win/ win, and everyone ultimately wins - Cooperative strategies signi cantly out produce competitive strategies - 6 Paradigms of Interaction: - 1) Win/ Win 2) Win/ Lose 3) Lose/ Win 4) Lose/ Lose 5) Win 6) Win/ Win or no deal 1. Win/ Win - Better Way (3rd Alternative- synergistic solution) - Agreements and solutions are mutually bene cial, and satisfying to all parties - Cooperative, not competitive - Hardball (strong) or softball (weak) way of thinking, is fundamentally awed it's based on power rather than principle - Habit of interpersonal leadership - 5 Dimensions of Win/ Win - 1) character 2) relationships 3) agreements 4) support systems 5) processes 1. Character - Foundation of Win/ Win - 3 Character Traits of Win/ Win - 1) integrity 2) maturity 3) abundance mentality 1. Integrity - value we place on ourselves ff fl fi fl ff fi  2. Maturity - balance between courage and consideration (pg 16, chart) 3. Abundance Mentality - plenty out there for everyone, nds joy in others success, and expresses it outwardly - Public victory - working, communicating, making things happen to come together and reach a goal that was unreachable independently - In contrast, Scarcity Mentality - di culty sharing in any form, genuinely unhappy for others success, secrete hopes of others misfortune, be surrounded by yes people 2. Relationships - Must build and maintain Win/ Win relationships - Trust - is the Emotional Bank Account - Emotional Bank Account ensures individuals are focused on issues not personalities and position in life - Open with each other, cards on table - Emotional bank account is high, and both parties are committed to win/ win that is the ideal spring board for tremendous synergy - When working with a win/ lose person you must focus on your Circle of In uence - Dealing with win/ lose is the real test of win/win - Continue to deposit into the emotional bank - Emotions run higher, proactive rather than reactive - Goes from transactional leadership to transformational leadership and transforming the relationship and the individuals involved - Win/ win people can validate and rationalize - Malicious obedience - do exactly and only what you tell me to do accepting no responsibility for results 3. Agreements - Performance agreement - - Partnership agreements - - Win-win agreements are tremendously liberating but require set out expectations. Both positive and negative consequences need to be set out from the start - Five Elements of the win/win Agreement fi fl ffi  1. Desired results - what is to be done when 2. Guidelines - parameters for results 3. Resources - human, nancial, technical and organizations help available to accomplish results 4. Accountability - standards of performance and the time of evaluation 5. Consequences - good/ bad, natural/ logical what does and will happen as a result of the evaluation - Four types of consequences (can be good or bad) 1. Financial 2. Psychic or Psychological 3. Opportunity 4. Responsibility - Five elements give win/ win agreements, a life of their own - Traditional authoritarian supervision is Win/ lose - If trust isn't there, you feel you have to control people, hover over them VS if trust is there get out of the way - Shifts in paradigms will always be met with resistance - Win/ Win Performance Agreement - Require Vital paradigms shifts - Focused on results, not methods this releases tremendous individual human potential, creates synergy and builds PC - Individuals evaluate themselves - Managers letter - deep and thorough discussion of expectations, guidelines and resources to create harmony with organizational goals. Employee responds back to manager with a letter summarizing the discussion. - Boss becomes rst assistant span of control goes from 6 to 8 to 20 or 30 4. Support systems - To be Win/ Win you must talk the talk and walk the walk, but if you preach cooperation by practice competition, that's win/ lose - Win/ win cannot survive in an environment of competition and contest - All systems must support win/ win 5. Processes - Principal Approach VS Positional Approach - Focus on interest not positions fi fi  - Win/ Win is not a personality technique. It is a total paradigm of human interaction - Abundance Mentality that grows out of high trust, relationships - Four Step Process 1. See problem from other person's point of View 2. Identify key concepts in issues 3. What results constitute a fully acceptable solution 4. Identify possible new options to achieve those results - Win/ Win Application Suggestions 1. Commit to a balance of courage and consideration 2. Make a list of obstacles within your circle of in uence and eliminate them 3. Choose a relationship to apply, win/ win to, create a list and work towards a mutually bene cial solution 4. Identify 3 key relationships, and write down speci c ways you can make deposits in each emotional bank account 5. Deeply consider your scripting, are they win/ win 6. Identify a win/ win role model and learn from them 2. Win/ Lose - Low trust, and competitive way of thinking - Most of life is inter-dependent, not independent reality - "Counterproductive, competitive and full of pride - Example - Sports - School - “normal distributive curve”, compares you to everyone else - Siblings - If I do this, I will get more love than my brother or sister - Law/ attorneys - Win/ lose, ght to win instead of compromising so all parties win/ win - 52% report feeling sad about their careers - Laws are win/ lose - When converting Win/ Lose to Win/ Win It helps to use a Win/ Win role model/ mentor. 3. Lose/ Win - no standards, no demands, no expectations, no vision - this type of person is usually quick to please or appease fi fi fl fi  - Seek strength from popularity or acceptance - Little courage to express themselves, intimidated by ego/ strength - “step on me again everyone else does” - Doormat syndrome "wipe your feet on me. Everyone else does " - Leadership style is permissive or indulgence - Win/ Lose people love Lose/Win people because they feed on them, take advantage, weakness compliments strength - Both win/ lose and lose/ win are a position of weakness - Win/ Lose produces more results draws o of strength from people at the top - Lose/ Win is weak and chaotic from onset - Executives, managers and parents swing back-and-forth between Lose/ Win and Win/ Lose - Suppressed feelings cause: - Psychosomatic illness - Respiratory, nervous and circulatory systems - Disproportionate rage or anger, overreaction to minor provocation and cynicism our other embodiments of suppressed emotion - Win/ lose creates withdrawal by the losing party 4. Lose/ Lose - Happens when 2 Win/ Lose people interact with each other and both will lose - Becomes vindictive get evening/ get back - blind to the fact that murder is suicide and revenge is a two edged sword - Desire for enemy to lose even if it means losing themselves - Philosophy of: - adversarial con ict - of war - Highly dependent person without in a direction - Miserable and thinks everyone else should be too - “if nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn't so bad” 5. Win - Get what they want - Someone else losing is irrelevant - Most common approach to negotiations - Securing his own ends, leaving others to secure theirs fl ff 6. Win/ Win or No Deal - Agree to disagree, if both sides of a deal, don't feel like it's a win then there's no deal - If values or goals do not align, it's better to realize this upstream VS downstream - Individual expectations cause disillusion - No deal in your mind makes you feel liberated and that you have no need to manipulate or push your own agenda - If Win/ Win can’t be reached, you are better o to go No Deal - Most realistic at the beginning of a business relationship or enterprise - Better to set up a business, knowing that no deal downstream maybe an option - Negotiating this way, creates an incredible feeling/attitude of freedom - Win/ lose - Bad when you're trying to promote cooperation to achieve maximum success - Good between o ces with no functional relationship - Lose/ Win - Works in relationships - “let's do it your way” - Expense/ Time - "isn't worth it” - Best choice on how to act in a situation is based on reality - must read reality accurately - Inter-dependent reality win/ win is the way to go - Anything other than win/win in an inter-dependent reality is second-best, and will impact long-term relationships - Win/ loss is not viable - You may win an argument but feelings get hurt afterwards and person will come back to you afterwards - Short term win is a long-term loss - Lose/ Win eventually leads to lose/ lose in business - If it isn't a win for both of us, we both lose in the long run. Win/ win is the only real alternative in inter-dependent realities ffi ff