GE2248 Understanding Persuasion in Everyday Life Lecture 10

1 GE2248 Understanding Persuasion in Everyday Life Lecture 10 Persuasion in Practice: Interpersonal Context Persuasion in Interpersonal Context In a family/ in a relationship / in a friendship ▫ Do you have these experiences?  When you question your boyfriend about something, an unexpec...

1 GE2248 Understanding Persuasion in Everyday Life Lecture 10 Persuasion in Practice: Interpersonal Context Persuasion in Interpersonal Context In a family/ in a relationship / in a friendship ▫ Do you have these experiences?  When you question your boyfriend about something, an unexpected argument were made  When you comment on something your girlfriend did, you got yelled at ▫ No matter how strong is your idea…  Your girlfriend may say, “__________________________”  Your parents may say, “_____________________________” ▫ What makes persuasion difficult in these relationships?  Both the persuader and persuadee are generally impatience and self- centered 2 Persuasion in Interpersonal Context In a workplace You find that if you company can allocate more resources to update your computer software, the quality of the design work can be enhanced dramatically. Will you send the request to your Dept Head? The staff salary of the company is relatively low in the industry, therefore the turnover rate of the company is a bit high, which affects the customers’ service quality. Will you request the company to give a higher pay to recruit and retain the employees?  Hierarchy of job positions  Fear of dislikes 3 Persuasion in Interpersonal Context  Persuading someone you know can sometimes be harder than persuading someone you don't know due to several factors:  Familiarity Bias: When interacting with someone you know well, they may have preconceived notions or biases about you or your ideas. They may be more likely to dismiss your arguments or be less open to considering alternative viewpoints.  Assumed Familiarity: Due to the assumption of familiarity, there is a risk of taking the other person for granted or assuming they already know your intentions or perspective. This can result in a lack of effort in effectively communicating your thoughts and arguments. 4 Persuasion in Interpersonal Context  Emotional History: Interpersonal relationships often come with emotional baggage and history. Past conflicts, unresolved issues, or personal dynamics can influence persuasion. A history of disagreements or debates can lead to a buildup of resistance to persuasion, as each party may have entrenched views or may want to avoid admitting they were wrong.  Unwilling to Admit a Mistake: Admitting a change of mind or heart can sometimes be seen as a weakness, so individuals may stick to their guns even in the face of compelling arguments to maintain their self-image.  Fear of Strained Relationships: People are often more cautious about the potential impact of persuasion attempts on their existing relationships. They may fear that disagreement or challenging their views could strain or damage the relationship. This fear can lead to resistance or a hesitancy to engage in open and honest dialogue. 5 Challenges The relationships among people make persuasion more complicated ▫ Persuaders can win the discussion/argument but lose the relationship  Disagreeing with someone without making him/her mad and disappointed is not easy Most persuaders wish to maintain the relationship while doing the persuasion 6 Keys to Success 1/ Apply what you have learnt from the past lectures 2/ Understand what the key factor is in maintaining the relationships among people ▫ So, what is the key factor? Your VALUE in the relationship! 7 Keys to Success Two important tips to enhance your value in the relationship ▫ 1/ Find people’s need ▫ 2/ Develop your POWER ** It is important to let others see that you have the power to fill another’s needs 8 Keys to Success Your POWER in a relationship will set you in different starting points in persuasion, hence give you advantages or disadvantages in persuasion Strong needs A and B fill each A fills B’s strong B fills A’s strong Situation others’ strong need but B does need but A does needs not not Relationship Powerful Poor Poor Implication No one has A is likely to win in B is likely to win in advantages in a a persuasion a persuasion persuasion Weak needs A and B fill each A fills B’s weak B fills A’s weak need Situation others’ weak needs need but B does not but A does not Relationship Mild Mild Mild Implication No one has No one has No one has advantages in a advantages in a advantages in a persuasion persuasion persuasion 9 Keys to Success Importance of Relationship vs. Importance of Outcome ▫ Accommodating Strategy: Relationship > Outcome  A person may “back off” his/her concern for the outcome to preserve the relationship  Involves prioritizing the needs and interests of the other person over your own  It is a cooperative approach where you make concessions and adjustments in order to maintain harmony and preserve the relationship  This strategy is often employed when the relationship is highly valued, and the goal is to avoid conflict or maintain peace 10 Keys to Success Importance of Relationship vs. Importance of Outcome ▫ Competitive Strategy: Outcome > Relationship  A person wants to win at all cost and have no concern about the future state of the relationship  Involves asserting your position and advocating for your needs and interests  It is a more assertive and confrontational approach where the goal is to win or secure the outcome you desire  This strategy is often employed when the issue is critical to you, and you are confident in the strength of your arguments. 11 1/ Find People’s Need When you ask, “How can I improve the relationship?” you are asking a wrong question The right question “How can I fill this person’s needs?” Therefore, you must find people’s need firstly 12 1/ Find People’s Need The way to recognize needs in other people is by their response to you ▫ 1/ What makes your partners feel good? ▫ 2/ What makes your partners feel angry or disappointed? **When you do or say something and you get a positive response / negative response, you are well on the way to need recognition 13 1/ Find People’s Need What are the common needs? Co-workers Families Lovers Friends 14 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs Your power should be related to people’s needs General types of Power  Referent Power  Stem from personal traits such as charisma, likability, and the ability to attract others because they want to be associated with you.  It is often seen in leaders who inspire loyalty and admiration without formal authority  To gain and maintain a leader’s approval and acceptance, a follower is likely to do what the leader asks, develop a similar attitude, and even imitate the leader’s behavior  This type of power can be very persuasive because it is rooted in personal relationships and emotional connections Source: Beth Zemsky MADED, LICSW 15 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs  Expert power Arises from having specialized knowledge, skills, or expertise that others do not possess but need or value When an individual is recognized as an expert, their opinions, decisions, and suggestions carry more weight This type of power is often respected because it is based on demonstrable competence It can be very powerful if others are dependent upon the person for the skill, knowledge or ability he/she possesses  Legitimate power Derived from a position of authority or social role The power is considered "legitimate" because it is accepted by other members of the group or relationship as rightfully belonging to that person A familial role (like a parent or elder sibling) A professional role (such as a manager or teacher) A social role (like a community leader) 16 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs  Reward power Based on the ability to confer benefits or rewards If one person can offer something desirable to another—like praise, promotions, or even emotional support—that ability grants them power. Individuals are often motivated to comply with the wishes of someone who can provide them with rewards they value. The overuse of reward power by a leader may drive followers to view the relationship in purely transactional terms. The most effective way leaders can use rewards is to recognize accomplishments within the context of referent power  Coercive power Based on the ability to impose punishments or take away rewards or privileges It relies on fear or the anticipation of negative consequences While coercive power can be effective in the short term, it can often lead to resentment and breakdowns in relationships over time 17 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs Your power should be related to people’s needs Principles of POWER 1/ Power is situational  The context in which power is exercised can greatly affect its influence  Different environments and circumstances can enhance or diminish one's power  For example, a respected judge in a courtroom has considerable power, but that power may not translate to a social setting where legal authority is irrelevant. 18 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs 2/ Power is a “relative” concept ▫ Power is not an isolated attribute ▫ It exists in a relational context where one's power is assessed in comparison to that of others ▫ For example, A CEO has considerable power over company employees but has less power in relation to the board of directors, which has the ability to hire or fire the CEO 19 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs 3/ Power is based on Perception ▫ If others believe an individual has the ability to influence outcomes or possess certain resources, that individual is treated as powerful, regardless of the reality.  Kids vs. parents  Salesperson vs. customers  Employees vs. employers 20 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs 4/ Power requires dependency ▫ The essence of power often lies in the dependencies between people\ ▫ The more person A depends on person B for something they cannot get elsewhere, the more power person B has over person A. ▫ For example, an employee may have power over their employer if they possess rare skills or knowledge critical to the company's success, increasing the employer's dependency. 21 2/ Develop your POWER to fill the needs 5/ Power to terminate a relationship is essential ▫ Relationship termination is the highest penalty in an interpersonal relationship  What can the employer say to / request from the employee when he/she is going to resign?  What can you say to / request from an ex-gf / ex-bf? 22 Cautions Do not treat “Relationships” as bargaining chips! ▫ Coercion Tactics: Belittling and making fun of a partner who disagreed and displaying negative emotional reactions to get a partner to conform to their wishes. “Relationship” is a factor in the “persuasion formula” ▫ Relationship Referencing Tactics: Emphasizing the importance of the relationship, stressing shared relationship outcomes, appealing to a partner’s love/concern, and using inclusive terms (e.g. we, us, our) to persuade a partner’s agreement. 23 Don’t Forget… No matter how enthusiastic the persuader is, the audience might have his own conditions or decision factors It is unlikely that you can successfully persuade everyone. Persuaders must ▫ recognize when to step back and agree to disagree, maintaining the relationship over winning the argument ▫ know how to compromise and keep the ultimate objective of the subject in mind E.g. Making the sale is the ultimate goal  price levels can be discussed E.g. Getting married is the ultimate goal  scale can be discussed Collaboration is needed to achieve collective success 24 Don’t Forget… Important principles: ▫ Find and focus on a common goal  Focus on the situation and treat it as a problem that needs to be solved, rather than as an enemy holding a contrary viewpoint who needs to be defeated.  Approach Walmart by saying, “Let’s work together and drive costs down and produce it so much cheaper you don’t have to replace me, because if you work with me I could do it better.” ▫ Don’t just discuss what your counterparts want, but find out why they want it  Dig down below surface desires to see what the person really wants, not necessarily what they say they want.  A husband-and-wife quarrel about whether to spend money for a new car  The husband’s underlying interest may not be the money, but the _________________________  The wife’s underlying interest may not be the money, but the _________________________ 25 Don’t Forget… ▫ Be fair  When people feel that the negotiation process has been fair and equitable, they will be more likely to make real commitments and less likely to try to abandon the agreement.  Distinguish between needs (important points on which you can't compromise) and interests (where you can concede ground). Offer concessions where necessary.  Give a little and take a little ▫ Be conscious of the importance of the relationship  No matter how heated the conversation becomes, remember that the other person is also human. Treat them as if they have value and worth as a person, even if you might not agree with their point of view at the moment. 26 Don’t Forget… If you take a competitive, win-lose approach and try to maximize your winnings, you may push them into a fight-or-flight reaction ▫ People may either leave the table and you get nothing, or they fight back and you get less than you might have done ▫ You may win the battle but lose the war as they will dislike you and your ethos will be destroyed 27