Module 2 - Creating Insights Resource Guide PDF

MODULE 2 – CREATING INSIGHTS RESOURCE GUIDE Name: www.tpcleadership.com Important note All intellectual rights in products or materials developed by TPC Leadership will be the absolute property of TPC Leadership unless specified in writing. No part of this publication...

MODULE 2 – CREATING INSIGHTS RESOURCE GUIDE Name: www.tpcleadership.com Important note All intellectual rights in products or materials developed by TPC Leadership will be the absolute property of TPC Leadership unless specified in writing. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any other form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of TPC Leadership. Creating Insights TPC Leadership 2018 2 How to use this resource guide This resource guide has been developed for use during this two day workshop and as a self-development tool after the workshop to help you apply your new knowledge and skills in your own coaching practice During the workshop, you will be asked by the facilitators to refer to specific pages. You will also be invited to reflect on your experiences at moments during the workshop and more extensively after the session, i.e. to look at specific ways in which you can begin to use your new knowledge and skills and to impact your effectiveness as a coach. Through thought-starters, experiences, questions and other prompts we encourage you to look for the links that bridge the workshop experience to the real world of your everyday work setting. 3 Contents Workshop objectives and agendas 6 Coaching competencies 7 Behaviour Change 20 Four Levels of Engagement 21 Intelligence 23 Emotion 28 Emotional Intelligence 33 The Inner Game 68 The cycle of self 1 interference 69 Making meaning 70 4 Contents (continued) Working with Beliefs 74 Values, beliefs, attitudes, mindset 78 Unconscious Relational Dynamics 87 Presence 91 Flow 93 T-GROW model 97 Coaching Practice – Process 98 Coaching practice check-in questions 100 5 Module 2: objectives Exploring your vision and identity as a coach Becoming more self aware as a coach and working with emotion Learning to self evaluate and ways of being as a coach Exploring a number of different concepts and tools which generate personal insights in your coachees and enable personal change 6 EMCC coaching competencies 1. UNDERSTANDING SELF Demonstrates awareness of own values, beliefs and behaviours. Holds a set of beliefs about the innate potential and ability of the coachee. Recognises how these values and beliefs affect their practice and uses this self-awareness to manage their effectiveness in meeting the coachee’s objectives. a) Self-awareness - developing a higher level of consciousness of self and of the coachee’s impact on the coaching relationship o The ability to be present and recognise what is occurring for you as the the coach and the coachee in the coaching session o A growing level of self-belief as a coach within the limits of experience and an appreciation of strengths and areas for development o Works with a high degree of empathy in a range of environments and with a diverse range of people from different backgrounds and beliefs o Aware of own personal style as a coach and impact b) Self-management - understands and effectively manages personal opinions, views and attitudes and how these can affect behaviours and emotions o Suspends judgement about a coachee or about what the coachee is saying o Provides space for the coachee to think o Manages personal interferences during the conversation o Coach stays out of the content and leaves responsibility and choice for the content with the coachee o Responds with empathy to coachee’s emotions and story without becoming personally involved 7 EMCC coaching competencies 2. COMMITMENT TO SELF-DEVELOPMENT Explores and improves the standard of own personal coaching practice and maintains the reputation of the profession. Demonstrates commitment to personal development through deliberate action and reflection Participates in regular supervision to develop their practice and evaluates the effectiveness of supervision Continuously reviews, reflects on and updates personal beliefs, attitudes and skills to improve their mentoring/ coaching Selects relevant themes, ideas and models to explore and develop their practice Invites feedback from peers by demonstrating their practice before them Keeps up to date with and evaluates research and thinking on coaching 3. MANAGING THE CONTRACT Establishes and maintains the expectations and boundaries of the coaching contract with the client. Ensures a mutually agreed understanding of the coaching process and methodology of a coaching programme including aspects of confidentiality, sponsorship, record keeping and boundaries Understands the difference between coaching, mentoring and counselling conversations and appreciates the boundaries between them Maintains appropriate records of the coaching sessions Adheres to EMCC standards of practice and ethics 8  EMCC coaching competencies 4. BUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP Skilfully builds and maintains an effective relationship with the client. Oversees the coaching process, establishing a trusting and empathetic working relationship with the coachee Takes responsibility for the management and structure of the coaching conversation and not the content, to enable the coachee to freely explore their chosen topic Maintains a flexible approach in meeting the needs of the coachee Ends the coaching relationship appropriately and clarifies next steps with the coachee 5. ENABLING INSIGHT AND LEARNING Works with the client to bring about insight and learning. a) Questioning – asks great coaching questions in service of raising the coachee’s awareness and increasing responsibility o Knows how to form open, succinct questions which raise awareness and responsibility o Asks insightful questions by exploring internal and external perspectives o Asks questions which are informed by the coachee’s thoughts and words (not those of the coach) b) Listening - hears what is being said, the spoken and the unspoken, without personal interference o Listens accurately, attentively and empathetically o Listens beyond the coachee’s words for tone of voice, body language, energy and meaning o Is comfortable with silence 9  EMCC coaching competencies 5. ENABLING INSIGHT AND LEARNING (cont…) Works with the client to bring about insight and learning. c) Feedback – offers supportive challenge and feedback in service of creating a broader perspective o Uses feedback and hypothesis appropriately as a means enabling the coachee to create an objective perspective and to ‘stand back’ from the content of a coaching conversation o Challenges constructively and in a supportive environment d) Use of language - appreciates the influence of both coach and coachee’s language and its impact on the coachee’s awareness, responsibility and choice o Probes coachee’s language to help the coachee unlock the deeper level of meaning o Explores the wider aspects of language including body language, metaphor and the coachee’s energy e) The wider system - examines the wider system of the coaching conversation and the influence and impact of other stakeholders o Uses systemic models and concepts to enable the coachee to take a wider, holistic and more systemic approach o Helps the coachee work with the ambiguity and complexity that exists within their context and environment o Helps the coachee explore the system and stakeholders' perspectives on their topic and the organisational and relational dynamics they are experiencing o Helps the coachee work with the ambiguity and complexity that exists within their context and environment 10 EMCC coaching competencies 6. USE OF MODELS AND TECHNIQUES Applies models and techniques to bring about insight and learning o Moves flexibly between directive and non-directive approaches as appropriate o Adapts models and techniques creatively according to client’s needs 7. OUTCOME AND OUTCOME ORIENTATION Ensures that focussed outcomes and objectives are developed to support the client to make desired changes o Facilitates the coachee to develop clear goals for the whole coaching programme and for each individual session o Enables the coachee to create effective plans for change, development and action for which they hold themselves responsible o Tests how the coachee will sustain changes beyond the coaching sessions 8. EVALUATION Evaluates the effectiveness of the coaching process, the coaching relationship and outcomes o Reflects on personal effectiveness and adapts approach as necessary o Seeks feedback and reviews the coaching sessions o Evaluates the process and the outcomes of the coaching programme for the individual, the organisation and the wider system 11  t grow ICF Coaching Competencies Over the course of the programme, participants will reach the required level of competence in a range of coaching skills and abilities which are outlined below: A. Foundation 1. Demonstrates Ethical Practice 2. Embodies a Coaching Mindset B. Co-Creating the Relationship 3. Establishes and Maintains Agreements 4. Cultivates Trust and Safety 5. Maintains Presence C. Communicating Effectively 5. Listens Actively 6. Evokes Awareness D. Cultivating Learning and Growth 8. Facilitates Client Growth *This is the revised competency model, has been approved by the ICF Global Board which will go into effect in early 2021. 12 1 2  Coaching A. Foundation Competencies - ICF - 1. Demonstrates Ethical Practice: Understands and consistently applies coaching ethics and standards of coaching 1. Demonstrates personal integrity and honesty in interactions with clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders 2. Is sensitive to clients’ identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs 3. Uses language appropriate and respectful to clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders 4. Abides by the ICF Code of Ethics and upholds the Core Values 5. Maintains confidentiality with client information per stakeholder agreements and pertinent laws 6. Maintains the distinctions between coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and other support professions 7. Refers clients to other support professionals, as appropriate 2. Embodies a Coaching Mindset: Develops and maintains a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centered 1. Acknowledges that clients are responsible for their own choices 2. Engages in ongoing learning and development as a coach 3. Develops an ongoing reflective practice to enhance one’s coaching 4. Remains aware of and open to the influence of context and culture on self and others 5. Uses awareness of self and one’s intuition to benefit clients 6. Develops and maintains the ability to regulate one’s emotions 7. Mentally and emotionally prepares for sessions 13 8. Seeks help from outside sources when necessary  Coaching Competencies B. Co-Creating the Relationship - ICF - 3. Establishes and Maintains Agreement: Partners with the client and relevant stakeholders to create clear agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans and goals. Establishes agreements for the overall coaching engagement as well as those for each coaching session. 1. Explains what coaching is and is not and describes the process to the client and relevant stakeholders 2. Reaches agreement about what is and is not appropriate in the relationship, what is and is not being offered, and the responsibilities of the client and relevant stakeholders 3. Reaches agreement about the guidelines and specific parameters of the coaching relationship such as logistics, fees, scheduling, duration, termination, confidentiality and inclusion of others 4. Partners with the client and relevant stakeholders to establish an overall coaching plan and goals 5. Partners with the client to determine client-coach compatibility 6. Partners with the client to identify or reconfirm what they want to accomplish in the session 7. Partners with the client to define what the client believes they need to address or resolve to achieve what they want to accomplish in the session 8. Partners with the client to define or reconfirm measures of success for what the client wants to accomplish in the coaching engagement or individual session 9. Partners with the client to manage the time and focus of the session 10. Continues coaching in the direction of the client’s desired outcome unless the client indicates otherwise 11. Partners with the client to end the coaching relationship in a way that honors the experience 14  Coaching Competencies C. Communicating Effectively - ICF - 6. Listens Actively: Focuses on what the client is and is not saying to fully understand what is being communicated in the context of the client systems and to support client self-expression 1. Considers the client’s context, identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs to enhance understanding of what the client is communicating 2. Reflects or summarizes what the client communicated to ensure clarity and understanding 3. Recognizes and inquires when there is more to what the client is communicating 4. Notices, acknowledges and explores the client’s emotions, energy shifts, non-verbal cues or other behaviors 5. Integrates the client’s words, tone of voice and body language to determine the full meaning of what is being communicated 6. Notices trends in the client’s behaviors and emotions across sessions to discern themes and patterns 7. Evokes Awareness: Facilitates client insight and learning by using tools and techniques such as powerful questioning, silence, metaphor or analogy 1. Considers client experience when deciding what might be most useful 2. Challenges the client as a way to evoke awareness or insight 3. Asks questions about the client, such as their way of thinking, values, needs, wants and beliefs 4. Asks questions that help the client explore beyond current thinking 5. Invites the client to share more about their experience in the moment 6. Notices what is working to enhance client progress 7. Adjusts the coaching approach in response to the client’s needs 15  Coaching Competencies - ICF - 8. Helps the client identify factors that influence current and future patterns of behavior, thinking or emotion 9. Invites the client to generate ideas about how they can move forward and what they are willing or able to do 10. Supports the client in reframing perspectives 11. Shares observations, insights and feelings, without attachment, that have the potential to create new learning for the client D. Cultivating Learning and Growth 8. Facilitates Client Growth: Partners with the client to transform learning and insight into action. Promotes client autonomy in the coaching process. 1. Works with the client to integrate new awareness, insight or learning into their worldview and behaviors 2. Partners with the client to design goals, actions and accountability measures that integrate and expand new learning 3. Acknowledges and supports client autonomy in the design of goals, actions and methods of accountability 4. Supports the client in identifying potential results or learning from identified action steps 5. Invites the client to consider how to move forward, including resources, support and potential barriers 6. Partners with the client to summarize learning and insight within or between sessions 7. Celebrates the client’s progress and successes 8. Partners with the client to close the session 16 Creating Insights: competencies 1. UNDERSTANDING SELF a) Self-awareness - developing a higher level of consciousness of self and of the coachee’s impact on the coaching relationship o The ability to be present and recognise what is occurring for you as the the coach and the coachee in the coaching session b) Self-management - understands and effectively manages personal opinions, views and attitudes and how these can affect behaviours and emotions o Manages personal interferences during the conversation o Responds with empathy to coachee’s emotions and story without becoming personally involved 5. ENABLING INSIGHT AND LEARNING Works with the client to bring about insight and learning. a) Questioning – asks great coaching questions in service of raising the coachee’s awareness and increasing responsibility b) Listening - hears what is being said, the spoken and the unspoken, without personal interference c) Feedback – offers supportive challenge and feedback in service of creating a broader perspective d) Use of language - appreciates the influence of both coach and coachee’s language and its impact on the coachee’s awareness, responsibility and choice 17  Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. Robert Frost Emotion - from the Latin: e- (meaning "out of") and movere (meaning "to move”). Emotion is e-motion - “energy in motion” 18  Emotional agility means being aware and accepting of all your emotions, even learning from the most difficult ones. It also means getting beyond conditioned or pre-programmed cognitive and emotional responses (your hooks) to live in the moment with a clear reading of present circumstances, respond appropriately, and then act in alignment with your deepest values. Susan David: Emotional Agility 19 Barriers to changing behaviour Motivation (needs) Negative thinking Confidence Beliefs Importance Attitude / mindset Timing Problem solving deficits Understanding Strength of habits Remembering Willpower Planning (incl. environment) Energy levels Scheduling Fears Support Partners/friends etc. Self-image Burnout 20 Source: Gale (2008) Health Coaching Australia Four levels of engagement Facts and data Behaviours Feelings and emotions Assumptions, values, beliefs motivational roots Source: Hawkins and Smith 21 Four levels of engagement Many people are used to attending to the facts of what is presented and focusing on the problem “out there”. The job of the coach is to help them to also focus on the behaviour of the person that owns the issues, as well as their feelings and emotions regarding the situation and the assumptions, beliefs, values and motivations which are stopping them moving forward. At what level of engagement do you notice you or your coachee is operating – or preferring to operate? What might be the reasons for this? What ‘shift’ might be required of you in order to work more comfortably and confidently at lower levels of engagement – and enable your coachee to do so as well? What do you need to learn? Where’s the stretch for you? 22 How will you apply this learning? Intelligence Before we investigate emotions and “emotional intelligence”, it is worth asking: what is intelligence? Here’s one explanation… The function of intelligence is to resolve all of the mish-mash of information arising from the consideration of how we will meet our needs At every moment our bodies are alive with a variety of concerns and priorities, all of which have a degree of urgency. Some are physiological, some reflect long-term desires, some spring from our beliefs and attachments and our self-image. Some are mutually compatible, but others compete or are contradictory. Some needs stay the same over our lives (the need for air say) but generally as we grow up we develop a huge and entangled range of priorities – a substantial, fluctuating, partly conflicting portfolio of concerns. These are our motivations, or needs for short. 23 Source: Professor Guy Claxton Intelligence To meet our needs we take action informed by our reflexes, skills and capabilities – the know-how we possess – including everything from deeply embedded and unconscious regulation of say our blood-sugar levels, to the learned expertise that allows us to concoct a tasty meal. These will all inform the actions we’ll take. Then there is perception - a portfolio of opportunities revealed in very moment by our senses. Perception’s job is to scope out all the possibilities (put the tv on, have a drink, open a window etc) so we can craft an appropriate response given the current circumstances. Intelligence is therefore the process of resolving: What do I need? What actions could I perform? What do circumstances allow?....So what’s the best thing to do next? So intelligence is answering the deceptively simple question: “what is the best thing to do next (all things considered)?” To answer this we need a brain. 24 Intelligence Information from your organs, your muscles and your senses arrive in your brain through different gates, but within an instant all the different forms of information are chatting to each other. As you get to know the world better, your brain circuitry remembers sights and sounds that went together, with what actions and reactions and what sensations were associated and what the felt consequences were. All this is filed away, so increasingly you can integrate all the information in a smoother way to decide what to do next more quickly. So, intelligence is the entire process not just the “higher mental processes” of the mind, which is often used to refer to whatever it is behind the scenes that makes us intelligent. In Western society, the word “mind” is used as a shorthand for intelligence. Culturally then, our concept of intelligence focuses on the rational verbal and mathematical problem-solving skills as measured by IQ tests. As the body-brain is weighing up a situation and assessing what to do next, there are of course several courses of action. The body is like a potentially unruly choir rehearsing for a concert – unless at some point they agree on what they’re going to sing and in what order, the concert will be a shambles. The brain is like the 25 conductor and helps the body to synthesise, prioritise and sequence all the concerns and possibilities so the concert runs smoothly. Intelligence With regards of what song to sing (what action to take) the brain asks: how important is it? How risky is it? How much effort or cost will it take? How likely is it to go wrong? Is all the information reliable? Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio calls these “somatic markers” because all the information is coming from the body. They involve estimations of value, significance, apprehension, confidence and risk, which are all emotional issues. They are based on past experiences with similar actions in similar situations – experiences of relief, delight, doubt or disappointment. So when we are deciding what to do next, every potential course of action activates these somatic tags and they are lopped through parts of the pre-frontal cortex designed to weigh up which somatic tag is going to “take charge” (at least for now) of resolving three factors together: our needs, the actions we could take and our perception So the brain is all over the body. The brain is the currents of information from all corners of the body continually making their way, by electrical, chemical or physical means towards the stem of the brain, much of it by way of the spinal cord and the fluid canals of lymph and blood. 26 Intelligence Each stream moves through various levels of the brain, being integrated with other streams of somatic information and is transformed into a range of complementary “maps” of the body’s states of readiness or need. As these high level maps arrive at the neo-cortex they are further integrated with information arriving from all the senses about the outside world. Processes are then applied to the maps that sort out all the competing priorities and the course of action determined. If the stakes are high, or if new information arises, the brakes might be applied and we “think” again. The job of deciding what to do next is complicated, but is made easier by the installation in the body of some pre-set modes of reaction to particularly significant events. Installed by evolution, these modes are what we call emotion. We feel emotional when we perceive something as belonging to a class of events that has a characteristic kind of significance. Mostly this means that they fulfil an important need, or threaten an important aspect of our well-being. Emotions are responses, developed through evolution, to important, perhaps even archetypal, events. Emotions are therefore intelligent responses to events that are relevant to what we value – and what we value has its roots firmly 27 in the physical body. Contributors to the field of emotion Clinical psychologist Paul Ekman started studying facial expression and hand gestures in the 1960s discovering that they were universal and revealed 6 basic emotions. Ekman developed tools and workshops for the CIA and FBI to detect when people were lying. Neuroscientist Jaak Panskepp’s work with animals led him to conclude that basic emotion (he states there are 7: rage, fear, lust, care, panic/grief and play) emerges not from the cerebral cortex associated with complex thought in humans, but from deep, ancient brain structures, including the amygdala and the hypothalamus. Jaak Panskepp – The Neuroscience of Emotions 28 Contributors to the field of emotion Berkely’s Professor Dacher Keltner consulted to Disney Pixar’s movie Inside Out. His 2017 research suggests that there are 27 distinct emotions. His work established distinct bodily responses for emotions such as heart rate elevation, Disney Pixar’s Inside Out goosebumps, blushing, sweating, relaxation etc. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett’s theory of constructed emotion contends that emotions are a sort of memory-based reasoning. Emotions are not reactions to the world, they are how we make sense of what’s going on inside our bodies in relation to the world. “Emotional granularity” includes being able to differentiate between emotions: the more we can tease apart what’s 29 happening inside us, the more choice we have. EQ: emotional intelligence Much of the theory of EQ focuses on it being a kind of intelligence that is separate from other kinds of intelligence, such as rational, linguistic or “bodily-kinaesthetic”, or a set of skills such as influencing or ways of being a “successful person”. “The capacity for recognising our own feelings, and those of others……for motivating ourselves and managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” Daniel Goleman “The personal and interpersonal skills and capabilities that enable one to cope successfully and influence environmental demands and pressures”. Dr Reuven Bar-On “The intelligent use of emotions” Richard 30 Boyatis Emotional Intelligence – a history 1966: German psychiatrist Leuner wrote ‘Emotional Intelligence and emancipation’ in which he hypothesised that the reason some women wilfully rejected the social roles and responsibilities that were expected of them was because of their ‘low Emotional Intelligence’. As a cure, he prescribed a combination of LSD-induced hallucinatory ‘trips’ and psychotherapy. 1983: Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner published Frames of Mind in which he argued that the dominant forms of intelligence associated with linguistic, logical and mathematical ability should be supplemented by five (later seven) others: musical, spatial, kinaesthetic, interpersonal and intrapersonal. Interpersonal intelligence was defined as ‘the ability to understand people, what motivates them, how they work, how to work cooperatively with them’; while intrapersonal intelligence involved ‘access to one’s own feeling life’, and ‘the capacity to form an accurate, veridical model of oneself, and to be able to use that model to operate effectively in life’ 1990: researchers Jack Mayer, Peter Salovey et al published two articles that introduced the term ‘Emotional Intelligence’ itself into mainstream American psychology. 1995: psychology journalist Daniel Goleman wrote best seller Emotional Intelligence. Goleman brought together the existing body of Emotional Intelligence research with an introduction to how emotion works in the brain. 1998: in his follow up Working with Emotional Intelligence, Goleman expanded the concept to include (amongst others) ‘self-confidence’, ‘trustworthiness’, ‘initiative’, ‘optimism’ ‘political awareness’, ‘leadership’ and ‘influence and negotiation skills’. The term emotional intelligence now had scientific legitimacy and psychologists began to contrast it to IQ and developed ways to 31 measure “EQ” – i.e. Israeli psychologist Reueven Bar-On’s Emotional Quotient Inventory, EQ-I. Daniel Goleman’s quadrants of EQ All change starts Self Others here Awareness Self Awareness awareness of others Self Social Actions management skills Positive impact on others 32  Becoming more emotionally intelligent When people speaking in public recategorise their anxiety as excitement, their sympathetic nervous system still created jittery butterflies, but with fewer cytokines that lower performance so they perform better. Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett – The Secret Life of the Brain 33 Becoming more emotionally intelligent Granularity (or 50 shades of rubbish!) An emotionally intelligent person has lots of concepts of emotions. Instead of saying “I’m feeling rubbish” can you get more detailed and precise? i.e. angry, aggravated, alarmed, grumpy, spiteful, remorseful, gloomy, mortified, low, woeful, melancholy, afraid, dread-ridden, rejected, discouraged. Make up your own words! Understand why: An emotionally intelligent person not only has lots of concepts but knows which ones to use when: by deepening our appreciation of why we are feeling the way we are we can respond more skilfully to situations. Recategorise how you feel: i.e. going for a job interview: “oh no I’m doomed” (harmful anxiety) or “I’m energised and ready to go!” (helpful anticipation). Question how you’re feeling: i.e. if you feel you are suffering due to say an insult, ask yourself “am I really in jeopardy, or is it my social standing that’s threatened?” or “could these feelings have a purely physical cause?”. Identify the need: how does the feeling being expressed identify the need that is being met / not being met? 34 Working with emotion Important for the coach to: Stay ‘centred’ and present – be aware of your potential hooks, being invited to take or taking responsibility Acknowledge that emotion is being expressed: Emotion = Energy in motion. Something important is happening, intelligence is being expressed. Be with the coachee in a safe space of non judgment, mutual trust and respect Check in with coachee (the press “pause button”): o e.g. “I recognise that there is something occurring for you at this time. What do you need in this moment? / Where do you want or need to focus the conversation now?” Help your coachee to reframe their experience through getting granular, understanding why, re-catergorising feelings or questioning how they are feeling. If emotion is overwhelming (for you or coachee) one strategy is to connect your coachee with their thinking (e.g. what do you think about that?) rather than continuing with feeling questions as this will help shift their state. 35 Emotional contagion “People do not live on emotional islands but, rather, that group members experience moods at work, these moods ripple out and, in the process, influence not only other group members’ emotions but their group dynamics and individual cognitions, attitudes, and behaviours as well. Thus, emotional contagion, through its direct and indirect influence on employees’ and work teams’ emotions, judgments, and behaviours, can lead to subtle but important ripple effects in groups and organisations.” 36 Source: Barsade, (2002) The ripple effect: emotional contagion and it’s influence on group behaviour  If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and what he could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 37  Resilience is ……… The psychological definition of resilience: A positive capacity to cope with stress An ability to bounce back to homeostasis after disruption And to have an adaptive quality – where exposure to stress is used to provide resistance to future challenging events. HBR definition of resilience: The ability to recover from set-backs Adapt well to change Keep going in the face of adversity It’s about how to recharge not how to endure “A pattern of positive adaptation in the face of significant adversity.” Resilience is a dynamic quality, not a permanent Masten & Reed (2002) capacity. The good news is that research shows 38 that resilience can be learned. 38  Resilient people….. We often take a militaristic, “tough” Possess three characteristics: approach to resilience and grit. We imagine a Marine slogging through the Staunch acceptance of reality mud, a boxer going one more round, or a Deep belief, often supported by strongly football player picking himself up off the held values, that life is meaningful turf for one more play. We believe that the Uncanny ability to improvise longer we tough it out, the tougher we are, and therefore the more successful we will be. However, this entire conception is Resilient individuals demonstrate dynamic scientifically inaccurate. self-renewal as they continually engage in coping strategies to deal with stressors, The very lack of a recovery period is whereas less resilient individuals find dramatically holding back our collective themselves worn down and negatively ability to be resilient and successful. A lack impacted by stress of recovery — whether by disrupting sleep with thoughts of work or having continuous cognitive arousal by watching our phones — is costing our companies $62 billion a year in lost productivity.1 39 1. HBR: Resilience is about how you recover not how you endure – Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan, June 2016  Stress is ……… Understanding Stress Stress is the physiological and psychological response to situations that threaten or challenge us and that require some kind of adjustment (Seyle) Stress involves a real or perceived discrepancy between the demands of a situation and the resources of a person (Lazarus) The Stress Response Physiological component: Arousal, hormone secretion Emotional Component: Anxiety, fear, grief, resentment, excitement Behavioral Component: Coping strategies (both behavioral and mental) - problem focused and/or emotion-focused The level of stress we experience depends mainly on the adequacy of our resources for coping and how much they will be drained by the stressful situation Primary Appraisal: Is Stressor Negative? Can be negative if it involves harm or loss, threat, or challenge (chance to grow) Secondary Appraisal: Can I Control the Situation? If coping resources are adequate, then consider options: problem-focused or emotion-focused coping strategies 40 40  Our emotional state and performance Stress is not the situation but your mental and emotional reaction to it Vital we understand our physiology of stress and how this is affected by our emotions When we are stressed key biological systems are triggered that help us respond appropriately to danger; e.g. amygdala hijacking the neural pathways 41 Stress response or resource management? The brain 3 Neo-cortex: The thinking/cognitive brain Pre-frontal cortex - best thinking 3 2 Limbic system: Broader emotions and instinct Amygdala: early warning 2 Hippocampus: emotional memory Hypothalamus: regulation of the endocrine and 1 autonomic nervous system 1 Reptilian brain Basic life functions 42 Stress response or resource management? The body Stress response Mobilize energy (glucose, fat etc) Deliver energy to the right place (heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate increase rapidly) Sharpen cognition (alertness, senses) Blunt pain perception Defer long-term building projects (growth, sex drive) Defer repair (immunity system) 43 What once saved us can now harm us Physical threats Mobilize energy (glucose, fat, etc.) Stress hormones are metabolized through Deliver energy to large muscles—heart physical activity rate, blood pressure, breathing rate increase rapidly Increased alertness, heightened senses Key difference Long-term needs are deferred: growth, digestion, reproduction, tissue repair, immune system all shut down Psychological threats Stress hormones are not Pain perception is blunted metabolized and remain in the body Critical thinking is diminished 44  The Stress Curve Performance Eustress Calm Distress Level of Stress 45 (Arousal)  The Stress Curve Eustress Distress The hump Fatigue Performance Exhaustion Comfort zone Ill health Healthy tension Breakdown Level of Stress 46 (Arousal)  What does your Stress Curve look like? Performance Arousal / Stress 47  Which symptoms of stress have you experienced? + Feel stronger, almost invincible, ready for anything, buzzing, moving into … Physical Tense muscles, difficulty relaxing physically, restless Headaches, persistent fatigue, constant minor illnesses (colds, runny nose), indigestion Sweating, cold hands & feet, dizziness, shallow breathing + Euphoria, excitement and passion, feeling confident, moving into … Emotional Anxiety, edginess, constant worrying, feelings of insecurity, mild paranoia Reduced resilience—more easily discouraged, feeling of being helpless/powerless Emotional outbursts, anger, crying, etc; no humour + Sharpened perceptions/vigilance, heightened concentration, faster thinking, minimize size of obstacles, moving into … Difficulty concentrating, forgetful Mental Impaired decision making (even simple ones), poor time management, reduced creativity/innovation, boredom Excessive self-criticism; pessimism – even fatalistic; failure to respond to challenges + More adventurous, reduced social inhibition, reduced need for sleep, moving into … Increased and sometimes excessive use of mind altering chemicals—most obviously alcohol, drugs, tobacco, but also caffeine, salty, fatty and/or sugary foods Behavioural Nail biting; restless/interrupted sleep; inappropriate risk-taking—too much and too little Changes in eating—too much and too little (depends on the person) Workoholism ("I must remain in control so I will work harder!"); Absenteeism ("I’m powerless so it doesn’t matter"); either way, increasingly cutting oneself off from 48 others 48  What are your stressors? Temperature extremes (>32 or 60% or 4 days/week 49 … Source: Sink, Float or Swim; Scott Peltin & Jogi Rippel  Your current stressors Short term stressors Medium / Long term stressors Any idiot can face a crisis…….Its the day to day living that wears you out.” Anton Chekhov 50  What strategies do you use? Getting to the peak Maintaining Performance Recover 51 Regaining your thinking: Labelling and Reframing Calm Reframe Label Distressed Labeling Reframing Putting a label (word) on the emotion Choosing to think in a ‘helpful’ way, for example Normalizing: appreciating that it’s normal and Caution: understandable to feel this way in this situation Describing an emotion in a word or two Reinterpreting: Finding an alternative and supportive helps to reduce the emotion perspective to look at the situation Opening up a dialogue about an emotion tends to increase it Source: Your brain at work, David Rock 52  Circles of control and influence What do I have no control over? Where/how am I using my energy ineffectively at the moment? Circle of What am I in control of? Control How effectively am I focussing Influence my energy in those areas? Concern What else could I take control of? 53 How might I do that?  Reminder: connecting with meaning People with a strong sense of meaning tend to be: more resilient and able to cope with complexity more self aware and confident about who they really are able to access a reservoir of core energy that keeps them going able to lead and inspire others around a vision able to connect at a deeper level through being more authentic and aligned with their values. 54  Ego states: transactional analysis Eric Berne - The Ego-State model – (‘I do something to you and you do something back’) Concept: Individuals experience and exhibit their personality through a mix of thoughts, behaviours and feelings. There are basically three ego-states that individuals use: Parent: where people think, behave and feel in unconscious mimicry of how their parents and other parental figures acted – or how these were interpreted. It is the ingrained voice of authority and absorbed conditioning, learning and attitudes derived from our childhood Child: where a person’s internal reaction to external events takes on the attributes of the way we reacted to events as a child. This state includes the sensual and emotional body of data that is within us Adult: is a state of being in which we are able to think, feel and determine our own actions for ourselves and to create an objective appraisal of reality based on the information we receive When we communicate, we are doing so from one of these three ‘alter ego states’. Our feelings at the time determine which one we use, and at any time something can trigger a shift from one state to another. When we respond or react, we also do this from one of these three states 55 55  The ego-state model Adapted CHILD Adapted Co-operative Compliant / Resistant (Positive) (Negative) PARENT Nurturing Nurturing Nurturing Spoiling (positive) (negative) ADULT Controlling Controlling Structuring Critical (positive) PARENT (negative) Free Free Spontaneous CHILD Immature (Positive) (Negative) 56 Source: Eric Berne Transactional analysis – Parent States Controlling Parent Nurturing Parent Direction Looking After others This is how you do it… Are you OK…? It’s not good enough… Poor you… You ‘should’ do it like this’… I will do it for you… 57 Transactional analysis – Child States 58 Transactional analysis – Adult State 59 Understanding the relationship: Transactional Analysis ‘Me’ ‘You’ 60 The ego-state Where are you working from? Which states might you meet as a coach from your coachee? What may cause you to move from one state to another? How would you know which state you are working from? What could you do to re-centre yourself and become more aware of both your need and your intent? 61  Karpman Drama Triangle Persecutor Rescuer Victim 62 Source: S Karpman Karpman Drama Triangle The basic concept underpinning the Karpman Drama Triangle is the connection between responsibility and power, and their relationship to boundaries. The Karpman Drama Triangle was originally conceived by Steven Karpman and was used to plot the interplay and behavioural “moves” between two or more people. Karpman’s original premise was based on the Transactional Analysis (TA) model as proposed by Eric Berne in the 50’s. Berne’s hypothesis is that people form a “Script” which is essentially an individual’s concept or belief about who they are, what the World is like; how they relate to the World, and how the World relates to them, and how others treat them. Psychologists theorise that an individual forms their Script by the time they are four or five. A Script is based on what an individual is told, what they experience, and how they interpret these external stimuli from their own internal frame of reference. Berne suggested that each of us play “Games” which are unconsciously motivated behavioural interactions with the World, our environment and those people with whom we are in contact. A “Game” in this context is an unconscious belief/s, which drives our actions/behaviour, in such a way as to result in either contributing to, or causing situations to occur that evoke a familiar feeling, usually negative. This feeling reinforces our beliefs or perceptions about ourselves, the World, other people, and how we fit in, and how we are treated, i.e. our “Script”. Not all Scripts are negative, and Berne talked about having a positive Script, however in reality 99% of Scripts are negative and support, in coaching terms, a limiting belief about ourselves, other people, or the World/ Universe. 63 Source: Coaching Supervision Academy Karpman Drama Triangle Victim: someone who can see themselves as a no-hoper, feels inadequate and is unable to take responsibility for themselves. They can take pleasure from the attention they receive from those who feel sorry for them; those who feel obliged to ‘rescue’ them; those who admire them for their ‘fortitude’ Rescuer: someone who often has low self-worth and consequently runs around looking for other people’s problems – which are sometimes non-existent - so that they can find ‘solutions’ and thus bolster their own sense of self-esteem and importance Persecutor: someone who, having been brought up within a culture of blame, displaces their anger by turning it on others, accusing Victims of being hapless, and Rescuers of being hopeless. Persecutors rarely have valid solutions to replace those they deride 64 The Drama Triangle… In a world when we can all fall into role of Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor in some situations… When do you recognise you do this? Which roles do you play? What might others notice? What is happening around you when this happens? / What might be a potential trigger for you? How might you notice you were in this role? What might you do once you have noticed? 65  The OK triangle Personal Resources Power Vulnerabilit y 66 66 Concept / Theory Reflections at the end of day one 1. What am I learning about myself? 2. What am I learning about myself as a coach? 3. What can I develop for my coaching to have even greater impact? 4. Who am I as a coach right now? 67 The Inner Game Performance = Potential - Interference 68 Source: Timothy Gallwey The cycle of self 1 interference Distortion in Distortion of Self Image Perception Distortion in Distortion in Results Response Source: Timothy Gallwey 69 Making Meaning Person’s Making Meaning Reality Reality In looking at values, beliefs and mind-sets it is important for us to recognise how we make meaning out of anything – (this include a working relationship and psychological contracting with the coaching client and the organisation) We never know reality; all we know is our interpretation of it – hence the many differences in interpretation that exist about the same reality How we perceive reality is more or less determined by our meaning making perspectives (we see things, not as they are, but as we are). We fit reality into this already-existing mould which defines the shape and texture of what is given us in reality As these perspectives change with experience, so does our understanding and interpretations In one sense, all ‘relationship contracts’ are psychological contracts since all are sent through the ‘filters’ of our meaning making perspectives and because it all depends on interpretations 70 Making meaning: how are these filters created? Inherited Inherited - Religious beliefs and attitudes, culture, locality, race, gender Experience - We cannot perceive or see what, in some way, we have no experience of Current Experience Emotional capacity - We cannot see what Making Context we cannot emotionally deal with Meaning Defence mechanisms - Filters we have Filters developed to help us interpret reality. Of course, they create the reality we want and not the one that is there Current context – The impact of the current Defence Emotional environment or context Mechanisms Capacity 71 The ladder of inference I take actions based on my beliefs I adopt beliefs about the world The reflexive loop I draw conclusions Our beliefs affect what data we select next time I make assumptions based on the meanings I added I add meanings (cultural and personal) I select ”data” from what I observe Observable ”data” and experiences 72 Source: Chris Argryis How do our beliefs work for us and against us? Being Doing Having 73 Beliefs about coaching Write down as many of your beliefs about coaching and coaches you had when you first started coaching Write down the beliefs that you think the most successful coach you know holds Now notice what the differences are, if any 1. Look at the beliefs that support you (underline them) look at those that limit you (ring them) 2. Select at least one supporting and one limiting belief 3. Apply The ‘Being Doing Having’ model Reflect on what needs to shift in your belief system? Consider how you would do this and what supporting strategies you could apply? 74 Source: Taken from ‘Flow, the psychology of happiness’ by M. Csikszentmihalyi How do our beliefs work for/against us? Beliefs Actions Results Being Doing Having 75 How do values differ from beliefs? BELIEFS are assumptions we hold to be true. When we use our beliefs to make decisions, we are assuming the causal relationships of the past, which led to the belief, will also apply in the future. In a rapidly changing world where complexity is increasing day by day, using information from the past to make decisions about the future may not be the best way to support us in meeting our needs. Beliefs are contextual: They arise from learned experiences, resulting from the cultural and environmental situations we have faced. VALUES are not based on information from the past and they are not contextual. Values are universal. Values transcend contexts because they are based on what is important to us: they arise from the experience of being human. Values are intimately related to our needs: whatever we need - whatever is important to us or what is missing from our live - is what we value. As our life conditions change, and as we mature and grow in our psychological development, our value priorities change. When we use our values to make decisions we focus on what is important to us - what we need to feel a sense of well-being. 76 Source: Richard Barrett Values, attitudes and behaviour Behaviours Attitudes Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle: see TED.com How Great Leaders Inspire Action Robert Dilts the Neurological Levels of Change – Module 4 Coaching Through Ambiguity and Complexity VALUES 77 Values, beliefs, attitude and mindset Values – what is important to us Guiding principles / Highly Valued Criteria – our most important values Are the things we care about most What we consider is worth pursuing in life True motivators – “our why” What determines our worth Determine how we contribute in the world Beliefs – those assumptions we hold as being true based on our experience Your beliefs shape your attitude. Your attitude also shapes your beliefs. You beliefs shape your mindset. Attitudes – collections of beliefs and identification around a certain subject Mindset - those collection of beliefs and thoughts that make up the mental attitude, inclination, habit or disposition that predetermines a person’s interpretations and responses to events, circumstances and situations1 Assumptions are ”lightly held” beliefs – hence Nancy Kline’s question “what are you assuming that…” 78 1. There are many definitions of mindset – this one comes from www.mindset.com  Values When are values formed? Where do they come from? 0 to 7 years – ‘Imprint period’ Family, friends and peers Church or religion 7 years to 14 years – ‘Modeling School and education period’ Geography Economics 14 years to 21 years – Media, stories, films, books ‘Socialisation period’ Very strong cultural component 21 years to 35 years – ‘Business persona’ We LEARN Values 79 Mindset: growth v fixed Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck is an expert on how our beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, can have a profound impact on nearly very aspect of our lives. One of the most basic beliefs we carry about ourselves is around how we see our personalities. People with a “fixed mindset” assume that character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behavior, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness. In researching how individuals approach learning and growing, Dweck found was that those with a fixed mindset were only interested in hearing feedback that reflected directly on their present ability, and tuned out information that could help them learn and improve. They even showed no interest in hearing the right answer when they had gotten a question wrong, because they had already filed it away in the failure category. Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, were keenly attentive to information that could help them expand their existing knowledge and skill, regardless of whether they’d gotten the question right or wrong. 80 Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Why help your coachees to understand their values? Our values strongly influence our attitudes to different aspects of life and work, our perspective and our filters – and in so doing – influence our reactions and our behaviours in response to our interpretation of what is occurring to us or around us – or to others Decisions based on values, are often unconscious so understanding our values helps us make better and more aligned decisions Understanding what are your most important values also helps you build and maintain better relationships Consciously and unconsciously - we have a hierarchy of values. At times these are in conflict - which creates internal dilemmas When we are in conflict with ourselves or others it is often because an important value of ours feel threatened 81 Strategies for eliciting your coachee’s values 1. Buying or creating a pack of Value Cards Let coachee look through the pack and pick out the values that resonate 2. Eliciting their values through questioning: What is most important to you about………..? What do you value most about…………? What are the reasons that this is important to you? Then ask them to prioritise their top ten If you could only have one of these values – what one would you choose? How does this sit with you as being your most important Now if you could have that value and one other what would it be? And so on……… Remember this exercise takes time as your coachee will be making the unconscious conscious so they will need space and silence to work through this exercise. 82 Creating a hierarchy of values (Dawes) 1. Some values are more important to us than others at certain times. In different circumstances, different values will guide our attitudes and behaviour 2. In order to create greater focus, it may be useful for the coach to support the coachee in creating a hierarchy of values that they wish to focus on at this time 3. Using ‘post its’ as a way of capturing information, ask the following questions of the coachee and make notes of the answer Remember this exercise takes time as your coachee will be making the unconscious conscious so they will need space and silence to work through this exercise. 83 Creating a hierarchy of values (Dawes) Questions to elicit values: 1. What inspires, excites or enthuses you? What makes your heart sing? 2. What angers or upsets you? So what does this tell you about what you value? 3. What do you see as your main guiding principle or responsibility in life? 4. What is important to you in a close relationship? 5. What do you like to give to other people? 6. What do you need for yourself? In order to allow them to distil the notes into one word that encapsulates the value, reflect back to your coachee the notes that you have taken and invite them to reflect on the value within it and write it on a post it. One value per post-it note. 84 Creating a hierarchy of values (Dawes) Example: Coach - Question: What inspires, excites or enthuses you? Coachee - Answer: the grandeur of nature, my children, seeing people grow and thrive, going for or accomplishing something that I did not think I could do… Coach: OK – let me see if I have got all that… (reflects back). Have I got that right… Great… So let look at the first one, the grandeur of nature… What do you value about this? Coachee: The wonder of it, the natural world… Beauty I suppose … Coach: What else could be there…? Coachee: Looking up, seeing the beauty in things, knowing I am part of something greater… Coach: So what is the value or values you want to write down Coachee: Appreciation I think… Coach: Anything else? Coachee: Creating a wider perspective – and connection. Stillness and space I suppose as well… 85 Creating a hierarchy of values Encourage the coachee to write down as many values as they can, one per post-it Once they have them all – mix all the post it’s up and then ask them to lay out the post its in rows of 7 values Ask them to remove 2 which are of least importance to them – at this time (re-assure the coachee that they are ‘throwing away these values’ – simply putting them aside at this time) Repeat - mixing them all up again, creating rows of 7 and removing 2! The aim is to get to 7 +/- 2 (5-9 values) Identify 1 of the chosen Values that the coachee wants to work with Invite them to consider ‘What they can do in the next 24 hours to practice expressing their chosen value more fully?’ Create specificity – what exactly will they do? In what circumstances? With whom? 86  Unconscious relational dynamics Hell is other people! Is a famous quote from French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre’s 1943 play No Exit (Huis Clos). The play illustrates the difficulty people have in co-existing: the fact that others – and their gaze – is what alienates and locks us in a particular kind of being, which in turn deprives us of our freedom. 87 Unconscious relational dynamics Communicating and relating is often made more complex by the fact that unconscious relational dynamics are at play. As we relate to others, we are constantly processing large amounts of information. Remnants of the caregiver-infant dialogue stay with us throughout life, therefore aspects of this are revived in any future relationship. Scripts established in childhood colour the way we disseminate or gather information and the way we convey information implicitly and explicitly. Whilst mothers have to learn to pick up these implicit subtle signals by doing, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, coaches, consultants, and other people in the helping professions must “listen with a third ear”. Appreciating the concept of “self as instrument”, the coach learns to use their own unconscious minds (intuition) to detect and decipher the unconscious wishes and fantasies of their coachees. All of us use our intuition - judgments that appear through unconscious, holistic associations. But intuition is not effortless - a great deal of unconscious, implicit learning has taken place beforehand to build the complex cognitive and emotive structures that enable pattern recognition. In the best scenario, intuition is right on target. However, intuition can also derail, due to unconscious perceptual distortion. 88 1. Manfred Kets de Vries: The Emotional Dance Between Consultant and Client, INSEAD Working Papers 2009. Unconscious relational dynamics There are different types of unconscious perceptual distortion: Projection: the tendency to attribute one's undesirable ideas, feelings, and motives to others. Identification: the process of relating to another person’s circumstances or ideas on the basis of perceived similarity of experience. Transference: occurs when a person takes the perceptions and expectations of one person and projects these onto another person. They then interact with the other person as if the other person is that transferred pattern. Counter-transference: occurs when the other person begins to unconsciously respond to the transference 89 Parallel process Studies of parallel process show that what happens in one system has an impact on another. Parallel processing happens when the coach reproduces a behaviour or emotion within their coachee, or more subtly, when they conflate the coachee’s experiences and issues with their own. It can distort the coaching conversation, so that it focuses – usually unconsciously – on the coach’s agenda, rather than the coachee’s (this can occur both ways). Recognising parallel process requires self-awareness. Experienced coaches can and use parallel processing to help them help the coachee. Recognising and emphasising what the caochee is saying allows the coach to consider how their own experience may be relevant and to choose whether or when they should share knowledge, which will inform and enhance the coachee’s thinking. It will often happen that the coach realises that they have a similar issue or dilemma to that presented by the coachee. Rather than regard this as interference, the coach welcomes the opportunity firstly to gain clues as to what is going on in the mentee’s mind, and secondly to use the conversation to stimulate insights into their own issue. 90 Presence Coaching competency 1(a)i: The ability to be present and recognise what is occurring for you as the the coach and the coachee in the coaching session. “Unconditional presence is the most powerful transmuting force there is.” John Welwood The most important element in a coaching relationship is the presence of the coach. Presence is “being” in a certain kind of way we often forget about the ‘being’ in our busy and chaotic lives spent ‘doing’ all the time. When we remember to be rather than do, our state changes completely. When we ‘be’ we become calmer and more relaxed, and if we’re lucky we connect with that inner stillness that lies deep within each and every one of us. From this space – one of kindness, compassion and deep calm - we provide whatever is needed for our coachee. Our presence affects our coachee’s presence, and allows them to access their own “invisible coach” – their own wisdom. 91 Source: Maria Lliffe-Wood – Coaching Presence: Building Consciousness and Awareness into Coaching Interventions Strategies for developing presence: Developing self awareness through the practices of observation and feedback. Two of the major outcomes are coaches are aware of their own identity and purpose and this research has shown this is a key enabler of presence. Through this reflection coaches are also able to understand the barriers to them being fully present and a key barrier identified is simply trusting in the process and letting go of achieving a result, responsibility and tools and techniques Developing the practice of observation through meditation techniques Grounding and centering the body. Somatic techniques are used to heighten awareness of feelings in the body which help the coaches to become and maintain their presence Preparing the environment. Coach develops their awareness as to what enables them to be present or in the flow state. They can then ensure that they are replicating these conditions when they are coaching. Coaches are also using this approach with their clients to help them be present and in flow too 92 Flow: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi From his own adverse experiences as a prisoner during World War II and from witnessing the pain and suffering of people around him, Csikszentmihalyi developed a curiosity about happiness and being content with life. He observed how many people were unable to live a life of despite their jobs, homes, security, etc. being removed. After the war, he read philosophy and took an interest in art and religion as a means to seek an answer to the question, what creates a life worth living? Attending a lecture by Carl Jung, who talked about the traumatised psyches of the European people after World War II, led him to study Jung’s work. He then studied psychology to study the roots of happiness. His studies led him to conclude that happiness is an internal state of being, not an external one. His book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience is based on the premise that happiness levels can be shifted through the introduction of more flow. Happiness is not a rigid state that can’t be changed. On the contrary, happiness takes a committed effort to be manifested. After the baseline set point, there is a percentage of happiness that every individual has the responsibility to take control of. Csikszentmihalyi believes that flow is crucial to creating genuine happiness. 93 Pronounced: Me high Cheeks send me high Mental states and performance The conduction of a flow state is seen to significantly increase performance levels in a given external task (Koehn et al., 2013). HIGH ENERGY Ideal state for peak performance Moderate Fearful Accelerated mental Alert Calm mental state state Lively Relaxed body Anxious Tense Stimulated Focused Angry Tunnel vision Enthused Frustrated Trying POSITIVE NEGATIVE “I want to, but I’m afraid ATTITUDE ATTITUDE “I can do it” No Threat Threa I won’t be able to” t PLEASAN “I want to, but not No Threat Mild “I’d rather be doing anything UNPLEASAN T all that much” Threat else but….” T Fatigued Calm mental state Bored Variable calmness LazyNo tension Uninterested Some tension Leisurely Unfocused Irritated Unfocused Lackadaisical Depressed Poor Very Poor LOW ENERGY 94 Source: Adapted from “Mental Toughness Training” by Jim Loehr Nine conditions of flow There are clear goals every step of the way There is immediate feedback to one’s actions There is a balance between challenges and skills Action and awareness are merged Distractions are excluded from consciousness There is no worry about failure Self-consciousness disappears The sense of time becomes distorted The activity becomes “autotelic” – rewarding in and of itself 95 Source: Taken from ‘Flow, the psychology of happiness’ by M. Csikszentmihalyi Reflections at the end of day two 1. What am I learning about myself? 2. What am I learning about myself as a coach? 3. What can I develop for my coaching to have even greater impact? 4. Who am I as a coach right now? 96 A model to facilitate a coaching conversation: The TGROW Model TOPIC: Initial understandi ng WILL / WRAP-UP: GOAL: Clarity / Outcome Support for the Commitment session REALITY: OPTIONS: Who / What What’s / possible? Where / How much? 97 Source: Myles Downey Coaching Practice – process and requirements Process and Requirements It is the coach’s responsibility to keep to time. Contracting with your coachee at the beginning of the session will support this process – with appropriate and occasional reminders to the coachee (and yourself) of how much time is still available Please keep to time – regardless of where you are at the end of the allocated time – finish the session and begin your debrief and feedback process. It is important that everyone gets the chance to practise You may wish to contract with your coachee on the need to do this – and to allow a ‘brutal stop’ to the coaching session to facilitate the feedback / learning process Observers – may support this process by monitoring or calling time! Feedback In giving feedback – take a moment to gather your thoughts. Reflect on what your are appreciating about your own ability – as a ‘foundation stone’ upon which to build greater skills and capabilities In providing feedback to yourself or others – focus on the 2-3 key areas of appreciation and learning. Avoid a ‘regurgitation’ of everything that occurred during the session – or a long explanation or justification as a coach of the reasons you did something. Focus on the learning Assume GOOD INTENT – in receiving feedback – and hold GOOD INTENT in giving it - as a means of learning and development rather than overt criticism. Contract around this if necessary 98 Skill / Technique Coaching Practice – feedback process At the start of the session: Identify who will be the coach, coachee and observer Coach identifies one area they specifically want feedback on At the end of each coaching practice: 1. Observer asks the coach: What they did well in the session? What they could do more of? 2. Observer asks the coachee: What the coach did well? What they appreciated? What the coach could do more of? 3. Observer then provides feedback to the coach: What they did well? What they could do more of? 4. Observer asks the coach to summarise the learning they are taking away from the feedback 99 Exercise / Instructions Coaching practice - check in questions How well did I keep choice and responsibility with the coachee? What can I do more of…? How effective did I follow the coachee’s interest and enable them to find their own solution? What can I do more of…? How well did I enable the coachee to explore new options? (not just a regurgitation of the old ones!) What can I do more of…? How effectively did I enable the coachee to identify actions that will work in their context What can I do more of…? How effectively did I confirm the coachee’s learning and their confidence / will to take the actions forward? What can I do more of…? 100 Exercise / Instructions