Interpersonal Communication Lecture Notes PDF

**Samenvatting -- Interpersoonlijke Communicatie** **Lecture 1: The significance of IPC and non-verbal communication** **Fundamental aspects of IPC:** - **Source-receiver model =** a source encodes a message, transmits it through a channel and the receiver decodes the message. - **Transa...

**Samenvatting -- Interpersoonlijke Communicatie** **Lecture 1: The significance of IPC and non-verbal communication** **Fundamental aspects of IPC:** - **Source-receiver model =** a source encodes a message, transmits it through a channel and the receiver decodes the message. - **Transactional model =** ongoing, dynamic process where all participants simultaneously send and receive messages, creating mutual meaning. It build on interdependence and reciprocity. There are interpretations (Hargie: perceptions) on both sides. - Language is ambiguous. - **Sexual overperception bias (Haselton, 2003):** the tendency tot believe that others are more sexually interested in you than they actually are. - **Clark & Schober (1992):** "Language use had primarily to do with people and what they mean. It is essentially about speakers' intentions." - **Influence of context:** set induction, physical environment, temporal factors, social psychological factors (interpersonal relationship, communication history), culture, type of situation (e.g. scripts) - **Influence of behavior:** interdependence, nonverbal behavior, (non)verbal dominance, questioning, reflecting, reinforcement, listening, response styles (assertiveness vs. aggression). - **Influence of medium:** constraints and affordances, media richness, social presence. Determines which behavior is possible, which signals go back and forth. **Nonverbal communication:** - **Purposes:** - Replacing, complementing and modifying verbal communication - Regulating conversations - Expressing emotions and interpersonal attitudes - Conveying personal and social identity - Contextualising interaction - **Negotiating relationships;** - **Nonconscious mimicry:** imitation of facial expression, linguistic style matching, emotion/mood contagion, "The Chameleon effect" (behavior matching, Chartrand & Bargh, 1999 ) - More mimicry interaction experiences as more pleasant. - **Communication Accomodation Theory:** people adjust their behavior while interacting. **Control ('status') related behaviors** à complementarity. **Hargie Ch1: Features of IPC** - **Inevitable, purposeful, transactional** (mutual influence), **multi-dimensional** (content and relationship between interactors), **irreversible**. **Hargie Ch2: Aspects and elements of skilled IPC (CLIPS)** - **Interpersonal skill =** process in which an individual acts out a series of purposeful behaviors that are learned and controlled, this is; - Part of a **transactional process** - **Goal-directed** ((un)conscious vs. (in)competence) - **Interrelated** (complementing behaviors) - **Appropriate** to the situation - Determined in terms of **identifiable units of behavior** - Are **learned** (from birth) - Under the **cognitive control** of the individual (Zimmerman's four stages: observation, emulation, self-control, self-regulation). **Elements of skilled interpersonal interaction:** - **Person-situation context:** how a person is and in which situation the interaction takes place; - *Self-concept =* how an individual views themselves. - *Self-efficacy =* beliefs an individual has about his/her capabilities. - *Attitudes (ABC) =* Affective (feelings), Behavioral (predisposition), Cognitive (knowledge) - **Goals:** an end state the organism has not yet attained (and is focused toward attaining in the future) and that the organism is committed to (content and process). - **Mediating processes:** processes mediating between the goal being pursued, our perceptions of the events and what we decide to do about them. The key factor is [knowledge]. - **Responses:** plans and strategies are implemented. Two errors: *slips* (actions that are not part of the plan, or are planned but performed out of sequence) and *lapses* (planned actions that are omitted rather than enacted). - **Feedback:** enables us to assess the effects of our communications. Skilled engagement would not be possible without it. - **Perception:** active and highly selective process. Through perception, information can be decoded and acted upon, through making judgements and decisions in relations to the goals being sought. **Stone Ch1: Three conversations** - **What happened?:** Our own truth, other's intentions, model of guilt (distinguish between blame and contribution. When there is too much emphasis on who is to blame, the truth is at stake). - **Feelings:** difficult conversations are *about* emotions (people try to avoid emotions, unspoken feelings can be revealed, learn what/where your emotions are, express them carefully, recognize other's emotions). - **Identity:** own identity at stake, part of difficult conversations, trying to maintain balance (denial/exaggeration, consolidate identity, bring up identity issues, ask for help). **Lecture 2: Non-verbal communication and deception** - **Purpose:** conveying personal and social identity **First impressions: facial appearance and social judgement** - Facial features are linked to judgments of personality. Judgments are made very quickly because our brains categorises faces automatically. These perceptions reflect visual stereotypes, not real personality characteristics. - **Attractiveness bias:** symmetrical and average face judged as more likeable/competent/outgoing/intelligent/healthy (Langlois et al., 2000) - **Halo effect:** initial positive evaluation of a person induces more positive evaluations of other characteristics (Nisbett & Wilson, 1977) - **Baby-face bias:** baby-face rated as more naïve, sweet, weak, honest, helpless, kind, less competent, less dominant (Zebrowitz et al., 2003). **First impressions: social categorization** - Prejudice and discrimination based on gender, age, ethnicity, religion, body weight etc. Has real world consequences (*faceism*). - Facial features unconsciously activate stereotypes, which subtly influences our interpersonal behavior. - **Shooting bias experiment (Corell et al., 2002; 2007):** participants respond faster and more accurately when targets conform to cultural stereotypes (armed Blacks, unarmed Whites), but respond slower and inaccurately when targets violate those stereotypes (unarmed Blacks, armed Whites). **Strategic nonverbal communication:** use of appearances/behaviors to leave a certain impression. **Deception, lying and lie detection:** - **Deception:** a conscious attempt to make someone else believe something of which the deceiver knows it is not true (Vrij, 2000). - **Deception cues:** indicate that deception is taking place; physical stress, more emotions, more cognitive effort, attempt to control own behavior (DePaulo et. al., 2003) - Emotions can 'leak' via micro-expressions (pupil dilation, viewing direction, hesitations, pitch speech rate etc.) **Leakage cues:** reveal what the liar is trying to hide (Ekman & Friesen, 1969). - **Ekman, Friesen & Sullivan (1988):** more masking smiles during deceptive interview, and more Duchenne smiles in honest interview. - **Ekman:** **Facial Action Coding System:** trained coders can distinguish many expressions. - There is no single cue that consistently reveals deception. - Professionals are not much better at lie detection (Ekman & O'Sullivan, 1991). **Hargie Ch3: Types of NVC**  - **Haptics =** communication through physical touch - **Kinesics =** communication through body movement (e.g. gestures, head nods, posture, eye contact, facial expression) - **Proxemics =** messages conveyed through perception and use of personal and social space (e.g. interpersonal distance, orientation, seating arrangement) - **Physical characteristics =** information revealed through body shape, size and adornments - **Environmental factors =** messages carried by features of the social surroundings (e.g. furniture, lighting) - **Vocalics =** communication by means of nonverbal elements of speech **Lecture 3: Mediated Interpersonal Communication I** **Media affordances and constraints:** - - **Copresence:** A and B are present in the same room - **Visibility:** A and B are visible to each other - **Audibility:** A and B can hear each other - **Synchronicity:** A and B are part of the interaction at the same time - **Simultaneity:** A and B can both send and receive at the same time - **Sequentiality:** There is an uninterrupted sequence of turn of speakers between A and B (start to end of conversation) - **Reviewability (reprocess):** A and B can 'consume' the messages again, before or after sending *(recipient)*. - **Rehearsability (revise):** A and B can edit or adapt messages before they are 'sent'. **Theories about mediated IPC:** - **Social presence (Short, Williams & Christy, 1976):** increased social presence (= the degree of awareness of the other person in the interaction) more social influence. *Higher in F2F collaboration* - **Media Richness (Daft & Lengel, 1986):** fit between complexity (uncertainty, ambiguity, degree of routine) of communication task and media richness (= the capacity of a medium to transmit different signals) data glut / fit / data starvation. *Higher in F2F collaboration* - **Media Synchronicity Theory (Dennis & Valacich, 1999):** two processes; *conveyance of information* (= the process of transmitting new information and ideas, which recipients process individually) and *convergence on meaning* (= the process of aligning understanding and achieving a shared meaning among participants) - Symbol variety, parallelism (number of exchanges that can occur), immediacy of feedback (= simultaneity), reviewability, rehearsability. *Conveyance higher in text chat, convergence higher in F2F* - **Reduced Social Cues (Sproull & Kiesler, 1986):** lack of knowledge about *who someone is* (cues to identity, static/dynamic) and lack of awareness that *someone is someone* (de-individuation). Group-interactions can take advantage of CMC anonymity. - **"Online Disinhibition Effect" (Suler, 2004):** in (anonymous) online environment people appear to be less restrained and express themselves more freely than F2F. - *Benign inhibition:* more self-disclosure, unusual acts of kindness and generosity - *Toxic inhibition:* online bullying, rude language, anger, threats etc. **Lecture 4: Mediated Interpersonal Communication II** **Criticism on technologically deterministic approaches:** - CMC is a container term that does not fit the current media landscape - Fixed effects on succes of the interaction (task related consequences) and relationships and behaviors - CMC is mostly defined as less suitable for social interactions - No attention to "human determinism"; interpersonal differences, adaptive capacity of the human being, 'power' of the users, social context of the interactions **Human deterministic approaches:** - **"Social Information Processing Theory" (Walther, 1992):** given time and opportunity to interact, relationships between individuals can form in online environments. People adapt to overcome the limitations of the medium. - **Hyperpersonal model (Walther,1996):** CMC is hyperpersonal, provided there is enough room for imagination: *idealized perception by the [receiver]* (the lack of information makes it possible to 'fill in gaps') and *optimized/selective self-presentation of [sender]* (first impressions are highly manageable). Individuals communicatie uniquely. - Advantages of CMC: a-synchronous, more control, reviseability. - **Self-fulfilling prophecy:** idealized image of other positive effects on behavior reinforces other idealized image of other (positive feedback loops) **Specific media constraints and affordances:** - It no longer always makes sense to compare CMC with F2F. Because some media are close to F2F and some media have even more affordances than F2F; - **Touch and smell without copresence**: smell-messaging, mediated-touch devices, co-presence in virtual reality. - **Visibility:** real-life / livestream / video recording / photo. - **New affordances:** swipe-ability, adaptability (e.g. filters, add-ons), block-ability, Whatsapp: checkmarks, 're-edit' option. **Social behavior in virtual reality:** - **Immersive:** (social) presence, the subjective experience of being present in the mediated environment. - People respond similarly to virtual people as to people in the physical word; - **Proxemics and eye contact (Bailenson et al., 2003):** participants gave more personal space to virtual agents who engaged them in mutual gaze, when virtual agents invaded their personal space, participants moved farther away from them. - **Virtual prejudice and proxemics (Dotsch & Wigboldus, 2008):** higher personal distance with Arabic appearance avatars (as opposed to White), higher skin conductance (subtle stress measure) with Arabic avatars. The stronger the implicit prejudice, the stronger these effects were. - **Effects of nodding (Aburumman et al., 2022):** participants were more likely to approach the naturalistic nodding (mimicking) agent for help (indicating trust and liking). - **Negative effects of social ostracism (Kassner et al., 2012):** participants who were ostracized in the IVE experienced the same negative effects as in real life. **Unique affordances of virtual reality:** - **Transforming appearance:** removing identifiers of user, shape user's feelings; - **Similarity with other avatars (Shih et al., 2023):** participants changed their choice most often after interacting with a moderately similar avatar, compared to identical or dissimilar avatars. - **Body transfer (Ahn et al., 2023; Thériault et al., 2021):** your body moves with you (looking into mirror), you can become someone else; increases perspective taking/empathy, reduces bias. - **Transforming interactive behaviors:** - **Augmented gaze (Bailenson et al., 2005):** more agreement in augmented gaze condition (gaze directly at multiple interactants simultaneously) vs. natural and reduced gaze. - **Transforming synchronicity:** - **'The Belated Guest' (Wang et al., 2003):** people can join recorded social VR interactions, in different spatial settings, render scenes as if they were in real-time. - **Transforming the environment:** - **Environmental factors (Hargie Ch3):** formality, warmth, privacy, familiarity, constraint, distance. - **Miller et al. (2021):** more synchrony in head and hand movements in triads conference room than in the garage. - **Han et al. (2023):** in more spacious (vs. constrained) virtual environments: more synchronous movement, feeling greater restoration, group cohesion, pleasure, arousal, presence, enjoyment, and realism. In outdoor (vs indoor) environments with elements of nature: greater restoration and enjoyment. - **Transforming perspective/position in the environment:** - **Hasenbein et al. (2022):** virtual classroom; students sitting in front were more focused on the teacher and screen, those in the back were more focused on classmates. **Lecture 5: Mutual understanding** **Perspective taking:** - Required for successful communication; - Speaker and listener must take into account each other\'s perspectives to get a message across/understand the intention behind an utterance. - Egocentric perspective is default. - **Horton & Keysar, 1996:** under time pressure people stick more to an egocentric perspective. **Common Ground =** shared knowledge: what both partners know, belief, suppose. *(Dis)agreement* is separate from this. 1. **Use of heuristics:** rules of thumb to deduce what is part of the common ground; - **Physical copresence =** assume that what is visible is part of the common ground. *But, perspective can still differ when there is physical copresence: Fiske & Taylor (1975): 'Who dominated the conversation?'* - **Linguistic copresence =** information that has been discussed earlier is part of the common ground. *But, one does not remember everything.* - **Community membership =** social categorization leads to assumptions about someone\'s knowledge. *But, stereotypic expectancies are not always correct.* - **Kingsbury (1968): Adapting to assumed knowledge:** more words used to give directions when asking in exotic dialect/stating you\'re from out of town. - **Miscommunication:** result of a failure to consider common ground 2. **Grounding process (joint activity):** common ground is not static, but changes from moment to moment. *Grounding = to make something new part of the common ground.* - **Presentation phase:** one person offers information with the expectation that the other will acknowledge and accept it to establish mutual understanding. - **Acceptance phase:** when the contribution to the common ground is complete. - **Referential communication task (Shober & Clark, 1989)** to study grounding process. Accuracy of understanding increases with each trial. The number of words used decreases. Overhearers cannot participate in collaborative grounding process. The later you start listening, the less understanding. - Conversation partners must give each other evidence that an utterance is understood to achieve common ground \--\> **Back-channel signals:** - Direct acknowledgement - Subsequent turn indicating understanding - Continued attention to speaker (generic listener responses) - Alternative description - Indicative gesture (pointing) - Referential instalment (break information down into smaller bits) - Trial references (let the listener identify something) - Importance of feedback: the more B/C\'s, the less words needed. - **Conceptual pacts (Brennan & Clark, 1996):** conceptualizations of objects that people achieve interactively (e.g. jargon). - **Principle of least collaborative effort (Brennan & Clark, 1991):** minimize the collaborative work that both do from the initiation of each contribution to its mutual acceptance. **Conversation norms:** 'unwritten rules' that reflect how conversation partners should behave. Functions: - Maintain mutual understanding - Regulating the course of an interaction - Regulating the relationship **Paul Grice (1975)** - **The Cooperation Principle:** make your conversational contribution such as is required at the stage at which it occurs, by the accepted purpose or direction of the talk exchange in which you are engaged. Because we assume people adhere to this, utterances become meaningful. - **Maxim of Quantity:** as informative as is required: not too much, not too little - **Maxim of Quality:** do not say what you believe to be false - **Maxim of Relation:** be relevant - **Maxim of Manner:** be clear - Violations create new meaning. **Mutual understanding in difficult conversations (Stone Ch2, 3, 4, 5 & 6)** - We each have our own story and often talk at cross purposes; the problem lies with the other person, we think we have a reasonable standpoint, the other thinks te problem lies with you. - **Different perspectives:** we have different info (selective exposure + perception), different interpretations, conclusions are based on self-interest (selective perception) - **Prevent miscommunication:** realize there are different perspectives, curiosity to the other\'s story, awareness of interpretations and roles of both (*disentangle intent from impact, try to understand contributions instead of blaming, understand the role of feelings and identity issues)*, good grounding process, reflecting, effective listening. **Stone Ch6: Three core identities:** 1. Am I competent? 2. Am I a good person? 3. Am I worthy of love? **Lecture 6: Interactivity and the course of interactions** **Opening (set induction) STEP:** Start, Transact, Evaluate, Progress **Preclosing =** use of verbal and nonverbal behaviors to signal that the time has come to start winding up **Cognitive closure:** *summarisation, checking out* (make sure everything is understood), *continuity links* (bridge for future interactions) **Determining speaking turns:** **Turn-maintaining cues:** inhale, avoid eye contact, avoid silences **Turn-yielding cues:** lower pitch at end, ask question, nod or make eye contact **Turn-requesting cues:** lean forward, raise finger **Turn-denying cues:** continue gesture, avoid eye contact **Adjacency pairs =** two utterances are closely related and occur in a specific sequence. What one person says is restrictive for what the other can/should say: *question-answer, greeting-greeting* etc. Failure to produce the relevant second pair part is noticeable, and creates meaning. **Insertion sequence =** a brief, related exchange interrupts an adjacency pair before its completion. Providing additional information. **Preference agreement =** certain second pair parts are preferred over others (e.g. agreement with statement vs. disagreement). - To deal with disagreement, people can prevent/weaken/advance notice of dispreferred second - **Token agreement =** response to show initial/partial agreement - **Presequences =** before offering/requesting/inviting - **Repair of 'errors'=** instead of immediately correcting the other, there is a preference for 'self-repair'. Otherwise: next turn repair initiators. **Facework (Goffman, 1967):** - **Desire for autonomy** (loss of personal freedom) - **Desire for affiliation** (inclusion, association) - *Self-face* protection / *other-face* support: - **Face-Restoration =** give oneself freedom and space and protect from infringement on autonomy - **Face-Assertion =** defend and protect one\'s need for affiliation - **Face-Saving =** signal respect for the other person\'s need for autonomy - **Face-Giving =** defend and support other person\'s need for affiliation **Politeness Theory (Brown & Levinson, 1987):** managing identity (face: public self image) of the conversation partner. *Politeness = other-face support.* To reduce *face threats* (implication of giving and receiving feedback about identity). - **Negative face =** desire for autonomy - **Negative politeness =** signal respect for the other person\'s need for autonomy (soften demand, hesitation) - **Positive face =** desire for affiliation - **Positive politeness =** defend and support the other person\'s need for affiliation (dealing with disagreement) **Spiral of silence theory (Noelle-Neumann, 1984):** people are inclined to keep silent, rather than speak up against opinion of majority. **Conformity:** pressure to adjust to group norm, to the opinion and behavior of the majority. **Conflict avoidance:** dodge difficult topics, indirectness, soften message, avoid asking critical questions **Bavelas, Coates & Johnson (2000): Listeners as co-narrators:** - Two conditions: listener is distracted (counting) + listener is not distracted - **Generic listener responses (continuers):** not linked to what speaker is saying, generic signals of attention and comprehension - **Specific listener responses (assessments):** addition, tightly connected to what speaker is saying, helps speaker tell story (*co-telling)* - Specific responses more towards end of story. When listener is distracted: less specific responses. Speaker\'s story becomes less interesting. - An active, attentive, involved listener contributes to having a pleasant conversation. - *Self-fulfilling prophecy:* **The Pygmalion Effect (Rosenthal & Jacobsen, 1968):** students who were randomly classified to the teacher as 'intelligent' scored better than students classified as 'less intelligent'. **Law of Effect (Thorndike):** if a response is followed by reward, it will be strengthened. If it\'s followed by the absence of reward/punishment, it will be weakened. *Reactions of others on our behavior direct the course of conversations, the course of relationships.* - **Positive reinforcement =** Add good stimulus: laugh, nod, compliment - **Negative reinforcement =** Remove good stimulus: put down phone, take off sunglasses, stop frowning - **Positive punishment =** Add bad stimulus: frown, roll eyes - **Negative punishment =** Remove bad stimulus: withdraw attention, stop making eye contact - Consequences for the course of the interaction, self-esteem of recipient, the relationship. **Lecture 7: Questioning & Reflecting** **Goals of questioning:** obtain information, initiate interaction, arouse interest, encourage active participation, maintain attention, assess knowledge, inform about someone's feelings/opinions, show interest questioner determines content of the conversation. - **Open question:** leaves more room for respondents to provide their own answer - **Closed question:** little freedom for respondent, requires brief, constrained answer **Funnel sequence =** open questions, progressively more closed questions diagnose **Inverted funnel sequence =** closed questions, gradually opens out job interview **Tunnel sequence =** all of the questions are at the same level (usually closed) assessment interview, courtrooms **Erratic sequence =** open and closed questions interrogative interviews, often confuse respondent (whereas a consistent sequence facilitates participation and understanding) **Probing question =** follow-up question to encourage respondents to expand upon initial responses. **Question formulation:** the expected answer is reflected in the formulation and is often consistent with a stereotype. *All questions reflect certain presuppositions/assumptions;* **Leading (biased) question =** assumption laden, by the way they are worded they lead the respondent towards an expected response. Dodging a leading question is often difficult, because it's often subtle - **False memory: Loftus & Palmer (1974):** change of eyewitness testimony, estimated speed and sight of broken glass was higher when words like 'smashed' and 'collided' were used vs. 'hit' or 'contacted'. - **Acquiescence effect:** tendency to agree with a statement. Social pressure to provide answer. - **The Moses Illusion (Erickson & Mattson, 1981):** 'How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the Ark? phenomenon where individuals fail to notice inconsistencies in the meaning of sentences. People rely on general expectations and cognitive shortcuts, overlooking details. - **Clark, Schreuder & Butterick (1983):** the question can provide information about the assumed common ground: 'you know who he is, don't you?' vs. 'do you have any idea at all?'. - **Relevance norm:** respondents assume that the information provided in the question is correct, except when questions are potentially misleading or when the question is not informative about the questioners prior knowledge. - **Implicit verb causality:** with some verbs the cause (who/what caused the behavior?) is usually attributed to the subject, with other verbs to the object; - ***Descriptive action verbs:*** subject in sentence is cause (e.g. read, kiss, hit [Marie] reads the Volkskrant) - ***State verbs:*** object in sentence is cause (e.g. like, love, admire, hate Hans loves [Marie]) - **Semin & De Poot (1997):** do the questioner's expectancies influence the questions he/she asks? Questions with suspect as implicit causer (subject with action verbs and object with state verbs) vs. woman herself as implicit causer with trustworthy victim, more questions with suspect as implicit causer were asked, so they were influenced by prejudice. **Reflecting:** providing a hypothesis (in own words) that represents the meaning of the interviewee's previous message. Indirect style: complemented by open and probing questions the other determines the content of the conversation. **Directness =** the degree of explicit influence and control exercised or attempted and the extent to which the conversation partner is constrained in responding. **Lecture 8: Listening & Explaining** **Explaining =** to fill the gap between the audience's knowledge or belief about some phenomena and what the explainer takes to be the actual state of affairs. **Giving understanding =** leaving the audience knowing or believing something of which they were previously ignorant. - **Signposts =** introduction to what is coming - **Frames =** structuring of subtopics - **Foci =** stressing important points - **Links =** subtopics in meaningful whole **Perspective-taking** is important to adapt to the needs and existing knowledge of the audience. **Egocentrism =** thinking from your own perspective and overestimating how well you communicate. - **Kruger et al. (2005): Egocentrism over email:** recipients assessed whether statements were meant seriously or ironically (= actual accuracy), senders predict how many utterances the other participant will be able to correctly identify (= anticipated accuracy) understanding intention is more difficult in email (bigger difference between anticipated and actual accuracy). - **Closeness-communication bias (Savitsky et al. 2001):** among friends it takes longer to correct initial egocentric perspective, there is more overestimation of succes in communication and people relax their perspective taking efforts. **Listening (Hill, 2004) =** capturing and understanding the messages that are communicated, either verbally of nonverbally, clearly or vaguely. Listening is NOT the same as hearing *responding* and *remembering* are part of the listening process. - **Passive listening:** no visible signals - **Active listening:** visible behavior shows that you have attention for speaker **Auditory illusions: The Suffix Resoration Effect (Kemps et al., 2004):** we hear more than what the speaker actually says, you hear what you expect to hear context influences interpretation. **Linguistic Category Model (Semin & Fiedler, 1988):** e.g. language abstraction 1\. Person picks up paper 2\. Person is cleaning the wood 3\. Person respects nature 4\. Person is eco-friendly **Beukeboom (2009): effects of a listener on a speaker:** higher language abstraction when listener has positive expression (vs. negative) speakers adapt explanation in response to subtle signals of listener(s). **Lecture 9: Self-disclosure** **Self-disclosure =** the process whereby person A verbally and/or non-verbally communicates to person B some item of personal information that was previously unknown to person B. - **Effects on discloser:** self-clarification (physical and mental health), social comparison, increased chance for social support - **Effects for relationship:** liking, vulnerability, requires and creates trust **The Johari Window:** **Social penetration =** process of developing deeper intimacy with another person through mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability (gradually from superficial to intimate) personality structure as a multilayered onion. *Orientation exploratory affective exchange stable exchange* - **Depth of penetration** (quality): degree of disclosure in a specific area - **Breadth of penetration** (quantity): range of areas over which disclosure takes place **Flexibility** and **skill** in adapting self-disclosures to situation and relationship is important for a good relationship. **Self-disclosure and liking (Collins & Miller, 1994):** - **Effect 1:** we like people who self-disclose to us more - **Effect 2:** we self-disclose more to people we like - **Effect 3:** we like people more after we have self-disclosed to them - Except when person shares self-disclosure with multiple people **Law of reciprocity:** paced and orderly process in which openness in one person leads to openness in the other. Violation of norm of reciprocity may lead to uncomfortable feelings. **Reciprocity in self-disclosure (Sprecher et al., 2013):** reciprocal (vs. one-sided) self-disclosure leads to more positive outcomes (liking, closeness, similarity, enjoyment) **Self-disclosure in CMC vs. F2F interactions (Schouten, Valkenburg & Peter, 2009):** self-disclosure is higher in CMC than in F2F settings, adding a webcam does not change this. Self-disclosure and direct questioning is more appropriate in text based CMC. **Self-disclosure in intimate relationships (Finkenauer & Hazam, 2000):** appropriate handling of disclosure and secrecy predictive of martial satisfaction. **Raising a difficult topic (Stone et al. Ch8)** - **Not** from own egocentric perspective - Formulate as self-disclosure instead of accusation - **The third story:** observe difference without judgment **Lecture 10: Assertiveness** **Assertion:** standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways with respect for the rights of other people. - **Non-coercive** (negative politeness) - **Friendly** (positive politeness) **Factors in assertion decision making process:** knowledge and awareness of your 'right', recognition of infringement of rights, dissatisfaction with present situation, positive beliefs about assertion, availability of assertive response + its perceived utility. *Non-assertive vs. assertive vs. aggressive:* sometimes assertiveness turns into (passive) aggressiveness or controlling assertiveness. Standing up for your rights comes with risk for conflict. **Styles of responding:** **Speech Act Theory:** any utterance is an action with a particular effect: - **Locutionary act:** the actual utterance of words with a specific conventional meaning - **Illocutionary act:** the 'force' (action) of an utterance - **Perlocutionary act:** the effect the utterance has on a listener - **Direct speech act:** literal (locutionary) and intended (illocutionary) are the same. - **Indirect speech act:** literal and intended are different; *lower risk for conflict, higher risk of misunderstanding* **Verbal and non-verbal behavior:** - **Non-assertive:** hesitations, soft voice, gaze aversion, avoiding topic - **Assertive:** clear tone of voice, eye gaze, controlled gestures, quick responses, raise topic, express opinion - **Passive aggressive:** negative expression, avoiding topic, slamming door with no explanation - **Aggressive:** interrupt, very loud voice, staring, pointing to other, prevent focus of topic (e.g. blaming) **Dominance and eye gaze (Dovidio et al., 1988): visual dominance ratio:** dominant persons look more at other when they are speaking, submissive persons look more at other when listening. **Self-awareness of assertiveness (Ames & Wazlawek, 2014):** opposite views: people who are seen as pushing too much/little, think themselves they are appropriately assertive and people who think they are too assertive, are judged as appropriately assertive. **Lecture 11: Persuasion and influence** **Influence:** almost all exchanges between people involve some element of (mutual) influence. **Persuasion:** not the same as influence; *using influence successfully*. Conscious manipulation, meant to effectuate change, one-directional process (two persons negotiation). **Purposes of persuasion:** adoption, continuance, improvement, deterrence ('not starting') , discontinuance, reduction - Immediate (un)successful effect, more complex effects; - **Sleeper Effect =** changes occur after a while. Because of; - *Practical reasons*, e.g. person needs time to process. - *Dissociation* between message and source/situation. - **Boomerang Effect =** no change, increased resistance to future persuasion attempts. Because of; - Negative affect, counter arguments, assertion of confidence, source derogation, seeking social validation, seeking selective exposure - *Prevent backfire effects:* co-opting (acknowledging resistance), ironic effect, paradoxical suggestion **Rhetoric =** all possible means of persuasion: *ethos (personal), logos (logical), pathos (emotional).* **Persuasion proof =** a means/source of persuasion; - **Personal proofs:** perceived credibility of speaker; power, relationship, attractiveness, humour; - [Power]= the amount of influence that one person can exercise over another: reward, coercive, information, expert, legitimate, referent; - *Legitimate power =* authority and obedience **Milgram (1963/1974)** - *Referent power =* power of relevant others, conformity: social group, celebrities, influencers **Sherif (Autokinetic effect, 1936)** and **Asch (1952)** - [Relationship] = we are more likely to be persuaded by people with whom we have a close relationship, perceive similar to us, like, find attractive, use humour. - **Logical proofs:** proofs that appeal to listeners' rationality: message delivery, case study, sidedness, request size, reciprocation; - [Request size]; different techniques; - **Foot-in-the-door:** small request first, followed by larger request *self perception theory: consistency* - **Door-in-the-face:** very large initial request, after rejection a smaller and more reasonable request *reciprocal concession* - **Foot-in-mouth:** trigger someone to make someone feel good about themselves before making a request *consistency* - **Pique:** ask for something specific to legitimize/disrupt normal request refusal script - **Disrupt-then-reframe:** use unusual phrasing in first part of the message (disrupt), followed by a reason to comply (reframe) - **Emotional proofs:** proofs consisting of feelings and emotions elicited by the speech: threat/fear, moral appeals, scarcity value, consistency and commitment, self-prophecy; - [Threat/fear] = heighten sense of fear, in order to work the **protection motivation** ('it will not happen to me') must get overcome. Targets should be willing and able to take action (*self-efficacy).* - [Moral appeals] = duty calls, altruistic exhortations (help others), social esteem precepts ('you will receive approval'), self-feelings injunctions (feel good about yourself), altercasting appeals (think about yourself in an objective way) **Lecture 12: Negotiating and working in small groups** **Negotiation =** a process in which two or more parties exchange goods or services and attempt to agree upon the exchange rate for them. **Goal =** defending your own position/interest and taking into account those of others. - **Zero-sum tasks =** each participant's gain or loss is exactly balanced by the loss of gain of the other - **Unilateral concession =** one side yields to the demands of the other - **Individual gain =** maximize one's own individual share - **Competition =** trying to obtain a bigger share than the others; *distributive bargaining* - **Non-zero sum tasks =** parties' aggregate gains and losses can be less or more than zero - **Co-operation =** striving for the best possible deal for both sides; *integrative bargaining* **Challenges for reaching agreement:** - People have inaccurate perceptions of self and others. - *'Fixed-pie-belief' =* gain of one is loss of other - *'False polarization' effect =* both parties exaggerate the difference in attitudes or topic importance **Social dilemma:** conflicting interests; outcome for one, outcome for other, outcome for collective *Prisoner's dilemma, 'Tragedy of the fishers', contributions dilemma (groupwork, household tasks)* **Social loafing =** reduced effort and motivation when working in a group (vs. alone); *free riding* *Negotiation is one of the most common and constructive ways to deal with social conflict. Because of mixed motives, persuasion could be part of negotiation.* **Experiment: 'Egocentrism in negotiation':** in negotiation/conflict, people mainly give attention to own interests (egocentrism), other's interests are expected to similar to one's own reduces chance of finding integrative agreements - **Overcome conflict:** building trust, maintaining the relationship, perspective taking, regulating the interaction