Marriage, Ministry, & Family Module 8 PDF

Marriage, Ministry, & Family Module 8 In Search of Timothy 1. Principle and Examples of Servants Be Faithful in the Little 1. Luke 16:10-12- “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones....

Marriage, Ministry, & Family Module 8 In Search of Timothy 1. Principle and Examples of Servants Be Faithful in the Little 1. Luke 16:10-12- “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.11 And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven?12 And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own? 2. God thinks long-term- Not steppingstones. 3. Do everything you do with excellence. Do things the way you would expect them to be done. 1. Treat your job as the most important job you’ll ever do. 2. Mathew 7:12- “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. 3. Expect a high level of performance from yourself. Do your work as unto the Lord. 1. Colossians 3:22-24-Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord.23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. 2. Don’t do the minimum. 3. Faithfulness is doing what the Boss, Owner, Manager wants the way they want it whether they are watching or not.  4 Commitments of good servants 1. Devoted to God- Revelation 2:4- “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Ministry is not a substitute for a relationship with the Lord. Ministry is born out of the overflow of your love for the Lord. 1. Devoted to Church Jesus gave His life for the church. Love the church more than a position. A minister with a true shepherd’s heart will always consider the church in their decisions and actions. 1. Devoted to your calling. Supportive ministry is a real ministry and vital to the advancement to the Pastor’s calling. Serve as an anchor of stability in difficult times. Serve and support with diligence and faithfulness. View your assignment as a sacred trust. Develop a high level of competence in your work. 1. Devoted to your Pastor. Must work in harmony with your Pastor’s vision. Maintain a submissive attitude. If your committed to Jesus, then you are committed to the person He has placed over you. Your focus is on your Pastor’s vision. Keep your perspective by keeping your priorities. 1. All relationships have challenges, build a strong foundation. 2. God’s purpose is foundational and will remain steady when personality conflicts and difficulties arise. 3. A purpose and principle-based relationship will be strong and enduring. 4. Always respect the office of the Pastor, never let familiarity cloud your relationship and duties. 5. Learn to work with your Pastor’s personality, everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses, learn to look past flaws and imperfections. Paul And Timothy (Kindred Spirits) 1. Philippians 2:19-22- 9 But I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, so that I may also be encouraged by learning news about you.20 For I have no one else [like him who is] so kindred a spirit who will be genuinely concerned for your [spiritual] welfare. 21 For the others [who deserted me after my arrest] all seek [to advance] their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. 22 But you know of Timothy’s tested worth and his proven character, that he has served with me to advance the gospel like a son serving with his father. 2. Mutually shared values, priorities, purpose, convictions and attitudes. 3. Trust speaks of loyalty, devotion, respect. Paul and John-Mark 1. 2 Timothy 4:11- Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very helpful to me for the ministry. 2. Earlier in the ministry John-Mark had called it quits. Causing a dispute between Barnabas & Paul Acts 15:36-41 Paul and other strategic connections 1. Paul spoke well of those who partnered with him and supported him in the ministry. 2. Titus, Paul called a true son, partner and fellow worker. 3. Tychicus, Beloved brother, faithful minister, fellow servant, and a comfort. 4. Onesiphorus, Priscilla and Aquilla, Epaphroditus, were all fellow workers.  5. Paul was joyed, comforted and strengthened by the support and friendship of these fellow workers and friends. 6. Proverbs 25:13- Like the cold of snow [brought from the mountains] in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to those who send him; For he refreshes the life of his masters. 7. Ephesians 4:16-From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knittedfirmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up [aLinks to an external site.]in [unselfish] love 8. Strategic connections within the body of Christ bring a supply of God’s Spirit and grace to accomplish His will. 9. Paul didn’t minimize individual effort, but he realized that strategic connections helped him function more effectively as a minister. 10. Learn to recognize and guard these connections. Jesus and His disciples 1. Very often God joins people together who have very different gifting and personalities. Despite their personalities and backgrounds, He expected them to work together. 2. INFORMATION IS IMPORTANT IS BUT TRANSFORMATION IS VITAL Mark 3:13-15 Mentoring of His disciples allowed them to focus upon their development and transformation. They were able to receive His mission as their own. John 20:21 As My father sent me, So I send you. 1. Jesus made sure His disciples were constantly learning, becoming, doing. All contributed to their development. 2. Jesus taught the disciples at a deeper level than the multitudes. The multitudes He taught in parables. All was preparation was for the day when Jesus would no longer be with them. Marriage, Ministry, & Family Module 9 Character Traits of Supporting Ministers Loyalty Definition-an unwavering allegiance, faithful to a person to whom fidelity is due. Faithful to an ideal or cause 9. 2 Chronicles 19: Act in the fear of God Act faithfully Act with a loyal heart. 17. Ruth 1: 16-17. Loyal 18. Some people have the appearance of loyalty but inwardly they harbor ill will and rebellion. (ex. Absalom 2 Samuel 15:19-21) 19. Always represent your pastor in a favorable light. Excellent Attitude 1. Good attitudes are contagious, they inspire and encourage others. 2. Romans 14:17-19-For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.18 If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. 19 So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.  3. A good attitude determines the quality of your contribution to the church. 4. Our perspective greatly influences the type of attitude you have. 5. Always focus on the good in people and your attitude will stay good. 6. A good attitude is simply choosing to be positive, encouraging, pleasant, cooperative, and supportive. Faithful 1. Mathew 25:21 A good and Faithful servant 2. God places a high value on faithfulness. 3. Traits of faithful people Reliable, honest, dedicated, accountable, diligent, dependable, attention to detail, thorough, punctual, consistent, exceeds expectations, responsible. Interacts Well with Others 1. Maybe the most important natural skill in being effective in ministry is our social skills. ) Get along with the pastor. ) Relate well with other leaders and coworkers. ) Good relationship with church members ) a cooperative submitted attitude. 1. Even the most skilled and anointed people will fail if they don’t walk in love. 2. Even the most stressful situations can be resolved in peace. Have a Servants Heart 28. Mathew 20:25-28. Jesus came to serve. 29. John 13:14-17 Blessed are those who act as servants. 30. The greatest assets within the church are those who simply seek to serve. 31. Our goal is to serve others the way Jesus did. Humility, Love, A servant’s heart.  Energetic and Enthusiastic 1. a) All Pastors want every member of the church team striving, contributing, and releasing energy together to get the job done. 2. b) Lazy and apathetic and indifferent people have character issues of the heart. Proverbs 10:26. Ecclesiastes 9:10. Romans 12:11 3. c) Paul – Colossians 1:29 7) Balanced without Compromised 1. Keep a close watch on yourself 1Timothy 4:16 2. Take time to enjoy life John 10:10 3. Don’t be reckless with your temple 1Corinthians 6:19 Epaphroditus did not regard his life and it almost killed him. Philippians 2: 25-30 1. Keep a Godly balance in your priorities. Learn to invest in you. Between tasks & relationships Between natural& spiritual Between seriousness & humor The Holy Ghost will keep you in balance. 8) Be Flexible and Growth-orientated 1. Never get Complacent. 2. Don’t get stagnate. 3. There is always a better way to do something. 4. Be a lifelong learner. 5. Address weakness & fear. 6. Embrace new assignments. 7. Continually seek improvement and avoid comfort zone.  8. Adapt to other people 1Corithians 9:22 9. Keep your relationship with God vibrant and strong. John 15:1-4 Hebrews 12:5-11 Romans 12:1-2 2 Corinthians 3:18 1. Be Forward Thinking- Be Forward Moving 9) Be Internally Motivated 1. Great Leader and people of success are motivated from within. 2. People who were self-motivated to participate Psalms 110:3(amp) 3. Never do just the minimum required. 4. Self-motivated people are peak performers. 5. Self-motivated people see what needs to be done and do it! 6. Those who anticipate needs are valuable assets. 7. Learn to motivate and inspire those around you. 8. Be responsible for your choices. 10) Be a Good Communicator 1. Those who feared the Lord talked often to one another. Malachi 3:16(amp) 2. Be attentive, listen, observe well when others are speaking. 3. Gather all information accurately and process it before conveying to others. 4. Good communication is not incessant babbling. 5. Scripture says that good communicator get all the facts before they speak. 2 Samuel 18:19-30  Proverbs 18:13 James 1:19 1. Conveying accurate and correct information is a vital part of being an effective minister and leader. 2. Learn to be concise and specific. 11) Multiply Themselves 1. 2 Timothy 2:2 2. Paul understood the principle of multiplication. Serve Train Release 1. In early days of ministry, we will be focused on doing the work of the ministry, however with greater maturity and development we can focus more on developing ministers. 2. You begin to equip others by releasing responsibility and delegating to others. 3. When delegating responsibilities, there should be clear objectives and clearly stated goals. 4. There is wisdom in delegation and honor in carrying out the work. 12) Integrity and Honesty 1. A most valued trait in church staff and ministers. Psalms 51:6(nlt) Proverbs 12:22 1. Never take honesty for granted. Honesty in one’s life is a byproduct of one’s character. If you want to be a person of integrity, you must practice honesty. 2. 1 Samuel 12:2-5 3. Paul set the example for us. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 Titus1:6-9  4. Almost every qualification of a good minister is one of character and moral uprightness. It’s not Skill, Gifting, or Expertise. 5. Paul embraced and embodied a minister of great integrity, character and moral uprightness. He was careful about his reputation with men and God. 2 Corinthians 8:20-21 1. Characteristics of Honest People 1) honorable 2) not deceitful 3) pure in their dealings 4) tell the truth 5) don’t blame shift 6) don’t exaggerate 7) don’t embellish 8) keep your word 9) don’t make rash promises 10) don’t give false impressions 11) don’t withhold appropriate information 13) Exercise Wisdom in the Pulpit 1. Seek to advance the vision of the minister you are under. Luke 16:12 2. Seek to build the church. 3. Never have your preaching undermine the Pastor. 4. Prove your ability to act in wise, responsible ways when entrusted with pulpit duties. 5. Correction and direction should come from the Word. Preach the Word! 2 Timothy 1 :13 & 2:14-16  1. Never put Pastors on the spot. 2. Never create confusion with what you preach 1 Corinthians 14:32-33 1 Timothy 1:3-6 14) Exercise Discretion 1. Discretion- to understand, to deal wisely, to pay attention to, to discern, perceive to separate mentally, to distinguish. 2. Genesis 41:33 3. We should know how to conduct ourselves in the house of God. 1 Timothy 3:15 4. Right conduct makes the gospel attractive and wrong conduct makes it repugnant. Titus 2:9-10(nlt) 1. Psalms 112:5 2. Discretion is the better part of confidentiality. 3. 1)Must be able to handle sensitive information, Counseling information is to be kept private. 4. Proverbs19:11 Never over react, Better to act cautiously then rashly Marriage, Ministry & Family Module 10 Family, Raising Godly Children 1- Bonding Bonding is developing a close and interpersonal relationship, It is the process of attachment. 1. It is critical for a baby’s emotional development. 2. It is the basis for all the child’s future relationships. 3. Strong attachment creates strong emotional involvement and trust between baby & parent. 4. Usually with the mother more so than the father 5. Helps the child care more about what we are teaching them as parents. 6. A secure bond gives your child, 1. Self-worth 2. Confidence 3. Security 7. The first 3. Yrs. Of a child’s life is the most critical time for brain development. 1. By age 3 a child’s brain is 90% of its adult size. 2. The first 3 yrs. Will have the most lasting impact on a child’s ability to learn and succeed in life. 8. Life’s experiences in the first few years positive or negative will help shape how the child’s brain develops. 9. Children need their mother’s presence both emotionally & physically, it 1- provides protection from stress 2- helps regulate their emotions. 10. It is important for both parents to be strongly involved in the first 3 yrs. Of a child’s life for their nurturing.  11. Don’t leave your children to be raised by the local daycare, nannies or grandparents. They are no substitute. 12. Children need both parents to be properly cared for & nurtured. 13. Children need to know they are the focus of your attention. A child’s greatest need & desire is for their parent’s 1- love 2- time 3- support. n) 2- Cultivating a Christ Centered Home 1. Your home is as Christ centered as you are. 2. Cultivate-to break up soil in preparation for sowing or planting. To raise, to grow, to develop, to till to work. To farm 3. Successful family life brings pleasure and God’s blessing in all areas of our lives. 4. We work at something to make things better. 5. Our home should be built and patterned after God’s Word. 6. If it is built upon the rock, it will be sustained Psalms 127:1- Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. 1. Homes not founded upon God’s Word will eventually come to ruin during difficult times. 2. Home is the most important institution in the world. 3. Jesus must always be the center of your home. 4. When God’s presence fills the home, There is Joy!! 5. Compassion and Kindness should be in your home. 6. Make Jesus the Lord of your home & He will manifest His Glory there.  7. The more time and energy you invest in your children the more likely they are to fulfill the calling of God upon their lives. Deuteronomy 6:4-9(KJV) 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. 1. Impress God’s precepts on the minds of your children. Your life should be consumed with Jesus & His commands. 2. Psalms 101:2-4- will be careful to live a blameless life— when will you come to help me? I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.3 I will refuse to look to anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.4 I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil. 1. As a parent always monitor your children and instill in them the holiness of God. 2. Arrange all activities around church not the other way around. 3. Stand up for God, put him first and you will be rewarded. 4. Never let commitment to outside activities be greater than your devotion to God. 3- Nurturing a Desire for the Call 1. An absence of hunger for God in the lives of our children makes them wayward. Develop a bible reading & prayer habit with them. 2. Ages 18-22 who attended church at least twice a month 70% quit going to church.  3. As teenagers gain more independence, drive, jobs etc. will they be in love with Jesus enough to go to church on their own. 4. At this point in a teen’s life, it is too late for a parent to change them. 5. You can take your children to church but without an experience with God for themselves 70% will stay out of church. 6. Being actively involved in church is key. Their activities should be church activities and friends church friends. 7. Get your children in a church where the Holy Spirit is moving!! 8. When a child is invested in church it becomes valuable to them. 9. 1 Corinthians 15:33- … bad company corrupts good character. 10. Proverbs 13:20- walk with the wise and be wise, a companion of fools will suffer harm. 11. Proverbs 17:17- A true friend loves at all time A true friend warns and is loyal. 12. Proverbs 27:17- Iron sharpens iron. 13. Our children should be with others who have a strong Christian walk and a desire to grow in their faith. As a parent you can’t pass on what you don’t possess. 14. Recount to your children al the miracles God has done and is doing for your family. 15. Joel 1:1-3- Hear this, you leaders of the people. Listen, all who live in the land. In all your history, has anything like this happened before? 3 Tell your children about it in the years to come, and let your children tell their children. Pass the story down from generation to generation. 1. Show your children that God is involved in your everyday life, remind them that God care about every aspect of their life.. Marriage, Ministry & Family Module 11 Family, Raising Godly Children Discipline & Punishment 1. Proverbs 22:6-Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 1) Teaching, training, discipline and is all part of parenting. 1. B) Proverbs 10:1- A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother. Discipline and punishment are two very different things; both are necessary in raising godly children. 1. C) Discipline- Instruction & training, to study, to learn, to apply a system of standards. 1. D) Discipline will teach your children to, 1) Respect God 2) Respect their parents 3) Respect their teachers 4) Respect authority 1. E) Children do not automatically know how to behave. 2. F) Building character in your children is a full-time job. 3. G) Set limits for your children, it will help them learn self-restraint. 4. H) Character takes years to build, it requires 1- attention 2- patient discipline 1. I) King David never disciplined his son, Adonijah. 1 Kings 1:6 2. J) Our parenting will go a long way in determining how well our children know & love God. 1. K) Consistency is Key!!children are intended to be a blessing and Not a sorrow 1. L) Lay the foundation of disciplined parenting as early as possible, it will set the tone for a godly child. 1) Repetition is a principle of learning. 2) NEVER allow a child to have authority over you. Never They must learn early who is charge. Always stay in control 3) Proverbs 11:3- Integrity of character guides, dishonesty destroys (AMPC) 4)Ephesians 6:1- Children obey your parents, you belong to God and this is the right thing to do. This is the biblical foundation for disciplining your children. 5)Colossians 3:21- Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 6)Build their spirit through encouragement and disciplined training. 7)Don’t humiliate or harass them, you will break their spirit. 1. M) Obedience in children thrives where they can communicate with their parents. Allow them to ask questions. 1. N) Prayer is where you commit your children to God. Trusting God for excellence in their lives. 1. O) Children are an entrustment and a stewardship.  1)Never give your children more honor than you give to God. 1 Samuel 2:29b 2)Eli never restrained his sons, even when he saw their sin. 1 Samuel 3:1 3-)Ephesians 6:4 raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord 1. P) Discipline includes correction (teaching & training) but is different from punishment. 1) Proverbs 19:18- Discipline your child while there is hope. Discipline is a process over time. 2) Proverbs 17:21- It is painful to be a parent of a fool and the father of a fool has no joy. Fool-one who is spiritually blind. 3) correct wrong behavior, praise right behavior 4) Proverbs 13:24-He who withholds the rod (of discipline) hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately (with wisdom and love) 1. Q) Punishment-the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense. 1)Spare the rod spoil the child 2)Spanking is biblical 3)Always discipline in love, never anger. 1. R) When to Discipline 1) willful disobedience- choosing to directly disobey an instruction 2) defiance- open resistance, bold disobedience 3) disrespect- lack of respect, discourteous, impolite, rude  4) Don’t spank your kid for being a kid!! 1. a) there is a proper way to spank, never hit your children in the face It’s demeaning. 5)Spank in private, punishment should not embarrass or humiliate 6)The goal is to correct inappropriate behavior. The spanking stick 7)Never spank a child for childish mistakes, like spilling milk Remember they are learning; learning is sometimes messy. 8)Be consistent! 9)Proverbs 29:15 & 17- The rod & reproof brings wisdom, a child left to himself brings his mother shame. (17) correct your son and he will bring you rest; he shall give delight unto thy soul. 10)Colossians 3:20- children are to obey your parents in everything, for this pleases God. Respect is giving honor and special regard to a person, while giving disrespect to the opposite. 1. a) Disrespect must be punished and removed. 11)Proverbs 19:26- Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace. 1. a) Explain the reason for the child’s punishment and reassure reassure your love for them. 1. b) Proverbs 22:15(NASB) Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Foolishness here is a lack of good judgement, unintelligent, thoughtless.  c)Proper discipline with your children will produce wise sensible, and intelligent people with a good sense of judgement. 2)Lead By Example 1. A) Only Godly parents can raise Godly children. 1) The Holy Ghost is our strength, wisdom, authority, and power To help us lead our home supernaturally. Children mimic everything they see& hear their parents say & do. Be wary of not presenting a double standard. The old do as I say not as I do. Be honest & transparent. Our Godly character is our most effective means of persuasion with our children. 1. Example of being an example Read & pray in front of them. Psalms 5:3 Go to church on a consistent basis. Hebrews 10:25 Teach & show your children to be soulwinners. Proverbs 11:30 Teach your children to tithe & give 3) Parenting Yor Adult Children 1. A) Mathew 19:5 This means a man leaves the dependence, comfort & security of his parents. 1)When our children get married there is a separation from the old Parent/child relationship 2) Your child has created a new family & it is their priority. 3) Unselfish love will not have an issue with your child putting their spouse first. B)Don’t tell your children all your woes & problems  1) Your adult child is still your child & should not bear the weight of your problems. 2) Never guilt your child into doing things for you. 3) your child is not your caretaker. 1. C) Mind your own business 1) Never interfere 2) Don’t give unsolicited advice 3) Be a trusted & wise confidant 1. D) Be respectful of your child’s spouse 1) Always be thankful, considerate & complimentary. 2) Appreciate them 3) You are Not in competition with your child’s spouse. 4) Your child’s spouse will determine the relationship you have with your child. So, it’s important to cultivate a good relationship with them. 5)Have a sense of humor, they will do things differently 6) Do what is needed to develop a relationship with your grandchildren. Get out of your comfort zone. Don’t judge or diminish how they do things in their home. 7) PRAY FOR THEM!!!! It is way more important than any money, visits, or advice you can give. Prayer will keep you connected to their future.