PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT (1).pdf

A COURSE IN PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT “ S uccess is a Journey and it is not the destination. Disappointments, Rejections, Unsuccessful attempts and Criticisms are not failures to the Successful people. Failures are the Part of succ...

A COURSE IN PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT “ S uccess is a Journey and it is not the destination. Disappointments, Rejections, Unsuccessful attempts and Criticisms are not failures to the Successful people. Failures are the Part of success. Winners use failures as stepping stones to success. This is the only difference between people who win and people who don’t! ” GOPIKRISHNAN M ASSISTANT PROFESSOR DEPARTMENT OF ELECTRICAL & ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING BHARATH UNIVERSITY  SYLLABUS UNIT I Introduction to Personality Development The concept of personality - Dimensions of personality – Theories of Freud & Erickson-Significance of personality development. The concept of success and failure: What is success? - Hurdles in achieving success - Overcoming hurdles - Factors responsible for success – What is failure - Causes of failure. SWOT analysis. UNIT II Attitude & Motivation Attitude - Concept - Significance - Factors affecting attitudes - Positive attitude – Advantages –Negative attitude- Disadvantages - Ways to develop positive attitude - Differences between personalities having positive and negative attitude. Concept of motivation - Significance – Internal and external motives - Importance of self- motivation- Factors leading to de-motivation UNIT III Self-esteem Term self-esteem - Symptoms - Advantages - Do's and Don’ts to develop positive self-esteem – Low self- esteem - Symptoms - Personality having low self esteem - Positive and negative self esteem. Interpersonal Relationships – Defining the difference between aggressive, submissive and assertive behaviours - Lateral thinking. UNIT IV Other Aspects of Personality Development Body language - Problem-solving - Conflict and Stress Management - Decision-making skills - Leadership and qualities of a successful leader – Character building -Team-work – Time management - Work ethics –Good manners and etiquette. UNIT V Employability Quotient Resume building- The art of participating in Group Discussion – Facing the Personal (HR & Technical) Interview -Frequently Asked Questions - Psychometric Analysis - Mock Interview Sessions. Total: 45 Periods Text Books: 1. Hurlock, E.B (2006). Personality Development, 28th Reprint. New Delhi: Tata McGraw Hill. 2. Stephen P. Robbins and Timothy A. Judge(2014), Organizational Behavior 16th Edition: Prentice Hall. Reference Books: 1. Andrews, Sudhir. How to Succeed at Interviews. 21st (rep.) New Delhi.Tata McGraw-Hill 1988. 2. Heller, Robert.Effective leadership. Essential Manager series. Dk Publishing, 2002 3. Hindle, Tim. Reducing Stress. Essential Manager series. Dk Publishing, 2003 4. Lucas, Stephen. Art of Public Speaking. New Delhi. Tata - Mc-Graw Hill. 2001 5. Mile, D.J Power of positive thinking. Delhi. Rohan Book Company, (2004). 6. Pravesh Kumar. All about Self- Motivation. New Delhi. Goodwill Publishing House. 2005. 7. Smith, B. Body Language. Delhi: Rohan Book Company. 2004 UNIT I INTRODUCTION TO PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT The concept of personality - Dimensions of personality – Theories of Freud & Erickson- Significance of personality development. The concept of success and failure: What is success? - Hurdles in achieving success - Overcoming hurdles - Factors responsible for success – What is failure - Causes of failure - SWOT analysis. 1.1 THE CONCEPT OF PERSONALITY- DEFINITION: “Personality is that pattern of characteristic thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that distinguishes one person from another and that persists over time” “It is the sum of biologically based and learnt behaviour which forms the person's unique responses to environmental stimuli” 1.2 DIMENSIONS OF PERSONALITY: The Big Five personality traits, also known as the five factor model (FFM), is a model based on common language descriptors of personality (lexical hypothesis). These descriptors are grouped together using a statistical technique called factor analysis (i.e. this model is not based on scientific experiments). This widely examined theory suggests five broad dimensions used by some psychologists to describe the human personality and psyche. The five factors have been defined as openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism, often listed under the acronyms “OCEAN”. Dimension of Personality High Level Low level Openness to experience Inventive, Curious Cautious, Conservative Conscientiousness Efficient, Organised Easy going, Careless Extraversion Outgoing, Energetic Solitary, Reserved Agreeableness Friendly, Compassionate Competitive, Outspoken Neuroticism Sensitive, Nervous Secure, Confident These five factors are assumed to represent the basic structure behind all personality traits. They were defined and described by several different researchers during multiple periods of research. Employees are sometimes tested on the Big Five personality traits in collaborative situations to determine what strong personality traits they can add to a group dynamic. Businesses need to understand their people as well as their operations and processes. Understanding the personality components that drive the employee behavior is a very useful informational data point for management. THE FIVE DIMENSIONS OF PERSONALITY: (THE FIVE FACTOR MODEL) a. Openness to experience: (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious): Openness to experience describes a person's degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity, appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities over a strict routine. High openness can be perceived as unpredictability or lack of focus. Moreover, individuals with high openness are said to pursue self-actualization specifically by seeking out intense, euphoric experiences, such as skydiving, living abroad, gambling, etc. Conversely, those with low openness seek to gain fulfilment through perseverance, and are characterized as pragmatic and data- driven—sometimes even perceived to be dogmatic and closed-minded. Some disagreement remains about how to interpret and contextualize the openness factor. b. Conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless): Conscientiousness is a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement. Conscientiousness also refers to planning, organization, and dependability. High conscientiousness is often perceived as stubbornness and obsession. Low conscientiousness is associated with flexibility and spontaneity, but can also appear as sloppiness and lack of reliability. c. Extraversion: (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved): Extraversion describes energy, positive emotions, assertiveness, sociability, talkativeness, and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others. High extraversion is often perceived as attention- seeking, and domineering. Low extraversion causes a reserved, reflective personality, which can be perceived as aloof or self-absorbed. d. Agreeableness: (friendly/compassionate vs. analytical/detached): Agreeableness is a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of one's trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well-tempered or not. High agreeableness is often seen as naive or submissive. Low agreeableness personalities are often competitive or challenging people, which can be seen as argumentative or untrustworthy. e. Neuroticism: (sensitive/nervous vs. Secure/confident). Neuroticism is a tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, and vulnerability. Neuroticism also refers to the degree of emotional stability and impulse control and is sometimes referred to by its low pole, "emotional stability". A high need for stability manifests as a stable and calm personality, but can be seen as uninspiring and unconcerned. A low need for stability causes a reactive and excitable personality, often very dynamic individuals, but they can be perceived as unstable or insecure. 1.3 PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT:  Personality development includes activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.  When personal development takes place in the context of institutions, it refers to the methods, programs, tools, techniques, and assessment systems that support human development at the individual level in organizations.  Personality development includes activities that develop talents, improve awareness, enhances potential and looks to improve the quality of life. It involves formal and informal activities that put people in the role of leaders, guides, teachers, and managers for helping them realize their full potential.  Hence, it can be concluded that the process of improving or transforming the personality is called personality development. 1.4 SIGNIFICANCE OR IMPORTANCE OF PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT: Most people underestimate the importance of having a pleasing personality. Majority think it just means being born good-looking, that there isn’t anything much to do about it. But this is not true. The scope of personality development is quite broad. It includes knowing how to dress well, social graces, grooming, speech and interpersonal skills. Whatever your career, these are very important skills that will promote your objectives. To better appreciate its importance, some of the key benefits of developing your personality include the following: a. Confidence: Personality development gives more confidence to people. When you know you are appropriately attired and groomed, this makes you less anxious when meeting a person. Knowing the right things to say and how to conduct yourself will increase your confidence. b. Credibility: Personality development makes people more credible. Despite the saying that you don’t judge a book by its cover, people do tend to judge people by their clothing and how it is worn. This does not mean buying expensive clothes. We all know people who look shabby in expensive clothes. There are also people who look great even if their attire is inexpensive. Because of this, you must know what to wear and you must be aware of other aspects of enhancing your physical features. c. Interaction: Personality development encourages people to interact with others. Studies have consistently shown that people communicate more openly with people they are comfortable with. If your hygiene and social graces are unrefined, then expect to have a much harder time connecting with people. d. Leading and Motivating: Personality development enhances the capacity to lead and motivate. A person with a winning personality will be able to motivate better. People are less likely to get bored, and our ideas will have more credibility. We can lead better if we project an aura of confidence and credibility. e. Curiosity: A single wrong word can destroy a business relationship. Knowing the right things to say shows both respect and intellectual sophistication. This is especially the case if you are dealing with foreigners or if you conduct business outside the country. The right thing to do in our country could be horrible blunders in a different culture. These are the soft skills that may break or make a deal. f. Communication skills: It improves your communication skills. People are more receptive to what you say if they are impressed with your personality. Verbal communication skills are also part of personality development; improving your speech will strengthen the impact of your message. You cannot win by talent and hard work alone. Personality development is a crucial ingredient that you must obtain. Most of the people you see as models of great personality have taken a lot of effort in developing their natural features. 1.5 THEORIES OF PERSONALITY: Many psychologists have developed theories about personality—how to describe it, how it emerges, what influences it, how it changes, and what constitutes a healthy or an abnormal personality. Here you will learn about the three most important personality theories: psychoanalytic theory, behaviourism and humanism. The first of the modern personality theories was developed by Sigmund Freud and is known as psychoanalytic theory. The psychiatric practice of this theory is called psychoanalysis. Freud’s ideas were plentiful, profound, and often controversial. His theory about personality has had tremendous influence on societies around the world through many different disciplines. Not only psychology has been influenced and informed by the ideas of Freud, but also literature, art, philosophy, cultural studies, film theory, and many other academic subjects. Freud’s theory represents one of the major intellectual ideas of the modern world. Right or wrong, these ideas have had a lasting and enormous impact. 1.5.1 FREUD THEORY: Freud theorized that personality contains three structures—the id, ego, and superego—and that the mind is like an iceberg, the unconscious making up 90% while the conscious (like the tip of the iceberg floating above water) makes only 10% of the mind. Freud suggested an analogy about the mind. He said that the mind is like an iceberg in the ocean, floating 10% above the water and 90% below. The unconscious, Freud proposed, makes up the vast majority of our mind. In Freud’s view, only about 10% of our behaviours are caused by conscious awareness—about 90% are produced by unconscious factors. According to psychoanalytic theory, most of what controls our behaviours, thoughts, and feelings is unknown to our aware minds. Normally, the unconscious guides us. Freud said that the mind could be divided into three abstract categories. These are the id, the ego, and the superego. 1. The id: Latin for the term “it,” this division of the mind includes our basic instincts, inborn dispositions, and animalistic urges. Freud said that the id is totally unconscious, that we are unaware of its workings. The id is not rational; it imagines, dreams, and invents things to get us what we want. Freud said that the id operates according to the pleasure principle—it aims toward pleasurable things and away from painful things. The id aims to satisfy our biological urges and drives. It includes feelings of hunger, thirst, sex, and other natural body desires aimed at deriving pleasure. 2. The ego: Greek and Latin for “I,” this personality structure begins developing in childhood and can be interpreted as the “self.” The ego is partly conscious and partly unconscious. The ego operates according to the reality principle; that is, it attempts to help the id get what it wants by judging the difference between real and imaginary. If a person is hungry, the id might begin to imagine food and even dream about food. (The id is not rational.) The ego, however, will try to determine how to get some real food. The ego helps a person satisfy needs through reality. 3. The superego: This term means “above the ego,” and includes the moral ideas that a person learns within the family and society. The superego gives people feelings of pride when they do something correct (the ego ideal) and feelings of guilt when they do something they consider to be morally wrong (the conscience). The superego, like the ego, is partly conscious and partly unconscious. The superego is a child’s moral barometer, and it creates feelings of pride and guilt according to the beliefs that have been learned within the family and the culture. Conclusion: Although these are known as structures, do not take the term literally. Freud did not mean that these are physical parts of our bodies or our brains. He coined these terms and proposed this division of the mind as abstract ideas meant to help us understand how personality develops and works, and how mental illnesses can develop. Freud theorized that healthy personality development requires a balance between the id and the superego. These two divisions of the mind are naturally at conflict with one another: The id attempts to satisfy animal, biological urges, while the superego preaches patience and restraint. The struggle between these two is an example of intrapsychic conflict—conflict within the mind. According to psychoanalytic theory, defense mechanisms are automatic (unconscious) reactions to the fear that the id’s desires will overwhelm the ego. Freud believed that a healthy personality was one in which the id’s demands are met but also the superego is satisfied in making the person feel proud and not overwhelmed by guilt. If the id is too strong, a person will be rude, overbearing, selfish, and animalistic. If the superego is too strong, a person is constantly worried, nervous, and full of guilt and anxiety and is always repressing the id’s desires. An overly strong id makes one a psychopath, lacking a conscience, or an ogre, selfishly meeting one’s needs without concern for others. An overly strong superego, on the other hand, makes one a worrier, a neurotic, so overwhelmed by guilt that it is difficult to get satisfaction. 1.5.2 ERIKSON THEORY: Erikson converted Freud’s emphasis to a focus on social relationships into eight psychosocial stages. These stages became known as the Eight Ages of Man. (As you know, at that time in history, the word man was used to apply to all human beings.) Each of Erikson’s eight stages was described as a time of crisis—a time when the personality would go one way or the other. For example, you’ve likely heard of the identity crisis. Erikson theorized that during adolescence, we all face a crisis of figuring out who we are. Each of the stages has this either-or quality. Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages: (Eight Ages of Man) Trust Babies whose needs are met develop a feeling of trust for the 1. Infant versus environment. If infants have frustration and deprivation, they learn a Mistrust basic mistrust for the world that will stick throughout life. When toddlers learn to act independently and to control and doubt their Autonomy bodies (toilet training, walking, etc.), they learn self confidence and a 2. Toddler versus feeling of autonomy. Failure leads to feelings of inadequacy and Shame therefore a sense of basic shame and doubt. Initiative The preschooler is ready to take action—in play, in imagination and in 3. Preschool versus running his or her life. Success here leads to good self-esteem; problems Guilt lead to feelings of guilt. The school-aged child is ready for learning many new skills and, if Industry 4. Early successful, will develop a sense of industry—being good at things. versus school age Failures at this stage result in a deep sense of being no good, of being Inferiority inferior to others—a feeling that might carry into adulthood. An adolescent is beginning to think abstractly and can conceptualize his Identity versus or her self-identity and personality. The adolescent begins to consider 5. Adolescent Role of questions of identity such as: Who should I be? What should I value? confusion And what interests should I have? The teen must answer these to  develop a good sense of self-identity. Exploration of various roles and personalities is common in this stage. A young adult faces the challenge of developing close emotional Intimacy relationships with other people. Here the term intimate does not mean 6.Young adult versus sexuality, but social and emotional connections with others. The Isolation opposite result, for those who do not develop a sense of intimacy, is to become isolated from social contact. Middle-aged adults feel an urgency to leave a mark on the world, to Generativity generate something of lasting value and worth. Finding a purpose in life 7.Middle-aged versus is a central theme. To fail at generating something significant means a adult Stagnation person becomes stagnant and stops moving forward; this person may become selfish and self-absorbed. In old age, it is common to look back on life and reflect on what was Integrity accomplished. People who feel good about what they have done build a 8. Old adult versus sense of integrity. For those whose evaluations are not so good, there is Despair despair, the feeling of regret and remorse for the life they led. 1.6 CONCEPT OF SUCCESS: 1.6.1 DEFINITION: What makes a person successful? How do we recognize success? To some people, success might mean wealth. To others, it is recognition, good health, good family, happiness, satisfaction, and peace of mind. What this really tells us is that success is subjective. It can mean different things to different people. The best definition for success is “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal” Let's look at these definitions carefully.  "Progressive" means that success is a journey, not a destination. We never arrive. After we reach one goal, we go on to the next and the next and the next.  "Realization" means it is an experience. Outside forces cannot make me feel successful. I have to feel it within myself. It is internal not external.  "Worthy" refers to our value system. Which way are we heading? Positive or negative? Worthiness determines the quality of the journey. That is what gives meaning and fulfilment. Success without fulfilment is empty.  "Goals" are important. Because they give us a sense of direction. 1.6.2 GOALS: Why Goals are important? In a study conducted on students in the 1979 Harvard MBA program, only three percent of the graduates had written goals and plans; 13 percent had goals, but they were not in writing; and 84 percent had set no goals at all. Ten years later, the findings revealed that 13 percent of the class who had goals were earning up to 84 percent compared to those who had not set any. For the three percent who defined their goals and wrote them down, they were earning on average, ten times as much as the other 97 percent put together. Goal Setting: Most People don't know how to set goals. Some set goals that are too general. These are, in reality, fantasies common to everyone. Goals, on the other hand, are clear, written, specific, and measurable. Most People fear failure. Failure hurts, but it is often necessary to experience failure in order to achieve the greatest success. Do not unconsciously sabotage yourself by not setting any goals in which you might fail. They fear rejection. People are often afraid that if they are unsuccessful at achieving a goal, others will be critical of them. This is remedied by keeping your goals to yourself at the outset; let others see your results and achievements once you've accomplished your goals. Some goals are called away from goals. These are usually framed in the negative. Here are a few examples. I don’t want to smoke anymore I don’t want to be unfit I don’t want to be overweight I don’t want to be broke Now let’s reframe them in the positive I am a non smoker I am fit and healthy I am at my ideal weight I can cover my bills Notice the difference. They are stated in the positive and take on the assumption that you have achieved it already. By assuming “as if” your behaviour changes so that you are acting like to have already achieved what you wanted to do. What a great feeling to have even before you have got there. It also bolsters your motivation. So now we have determined if our goal is towards something, or away from something. We have now stated it in the positive. This however is still not a very well detailed goal. We will now look at how we can make it more specific.  An ideal goal should be expressed in the positive, be time bound and specific. You may also like to consider, how will you know when you have achieved it, what will it feel like, what will the people around you be like? What will you do to celebrate it? A goal must be time bound. When do I want to have achieved it? If that’s when I want to achieve it, then when must I start? What is the first step I need to take? Who should I tell? Should telling that person be the first step? What skills or knowledge do I need to acquire along the way? Goal size, is the goal too big to achieve? If so then breaking it down into smaller bite sized pieces may be the right approach. 1.6.2 FACTORS RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCCESS: 1. Desire: The motivation to success comes from the burning desire to achieve a purpose. Napoleon Hill wrote, "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue. Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked, 'What did you want the most when you were there?" The boy replied, "Air." Socrates said, "That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it." There is no other secret. A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results. 2. Commitment: Integrity and wisdom are the two pillars on which to build and keep commitments. This point is best illustrated by the manager, who told one of his staff members, "Integrity is keeping your commitment even if you lose money and wisdom is not to make such foolish commitments." Prosperity and success are the result of our thoughts and decisions. It is our decision what thoughts will dominate our lives. Success is not an accident. It is the result of our attitude. There is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. When we play to win, we play with enthusiasm and commitment; whereas when we play not to lose, we are playing from a position of weakness. When we play not to lose, we are playing to avoid failure. We all want to win, but very few are prepared to pay the price to prepare to win. Winners condition and commit themselves to winning. Playing to win comes out of inspiration, whereas playing not to lose comes out of desperation. There are no ideal circumstances. There will never be. To reach anywhere we cannot just drift nor lie at anchor. We need to sometimes sail with the wind and sometimes against it, but sail we must. Ask any coach or athlete what the difference between the best and the worst team is. There would be very little difference in their physique, talent and ability. The biggest difference you will find is emotional difference. The winning team has dedication and they make the extra effort. To a winner, the tougher the competition 3. Responsibility A duty which becomes a desire will ultimately become a delight. --George Gritter People with character accept responsibilities. They make decisions and determine their own destiny in life. Accepting responsibilities involves taking risks and being accountable which is sometimes uncomfortable. Most people would rather stay in their comfort zone and live passive lives without accepting responsibilities. They drift through life waiting for things to happen rather than making them happen. Accepting responsibilities involves taking calculated, not foolish, risks. It means evaluating all the pros and cons, then taking the most appropriate decision or action. Responsible people don't think that the world owes them a living. 4. Hard Work: Success is not something that you run into by accident. It takes a lot of preparation and character. Everyone likes to win but how many are willing to put in the effort and time to prepare to win? It takes sacrifice and self-discipline. There is no substitute for hard work. Henry Ford said, "The harder you work, the luckier you get." The world is full of willing workers, some willing to work and the others willing to let them. “I like to work half a day. I don't care if it is the first 12 hours or the second 12 hours.” --Kammons Wilson, CEO of Holiday Inn One cannot develop a capacity to do anything without hard work, just as a person cannot learn how to spell by sitting on a dictionary. Professionals make things look easy because they have mastered the fundamentals of whatever they do. “If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem wonderful at all.” --Michaelangelo An executive called a company to check on a potential candidate. He asked the candidate's supervisor, "How long has he worked for you?" The man replied, "Three days." The executive said. "But he told me he was with you for three years." The man replied, "That is right, but he worked three days." 5. Character Character is the sum total of a person's values, beliefs and personality. It is reflected in our behavior, in our actions. It needs to be preserved more than the richest jewel in the world. To be a winner takes character. George Washington said, "I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most valuable of all titles, the character of an honest man."  It is not the polls or public opinions but the character of the leader that determines the course of history. There is no twilight zone in integrity. The road to success has many pitfalls. It takes a lot of character and effort not to fall into them. It also takes character not to be disheartened by critics. How come most people love success but hate successful people? Whenever a person rises above average, there will always be someone trying to rip him apart. Chances are pretty good when you see a person on top of a hill, that he just didn't get there, but had to endure a tough climb. It's no different in life. In any profession, a successful person will be envied by those who are not. Don't let criticism distract you from reaching your goal. Average people play it safe to avoid criticism, which can be easily avoided by saying, doing or being nothing. The more you accomplish, the more you risk being criticized. It seems there is a relationship between success and criticism. The greater the success, the more is the criticism. Critics have always been sitting at the sidelines. They are underachievers who shout at doers, telling them how to do it right. But remember critics are not the leaders or doers and it is worthwhile asking them to come down to where the action is. “The critic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” 6. Positive Believing: What is the difference between positive thinking and positive believing? What if you could actually listen to your thoughts? Are they positive or negative? How are you programming your mind, for success or failure? How you think has a profound effect on your performance. Having a positive attitude and being motivated is a choice we make every morning. Living a positive life is not easy; but then neither is negative living. Given a choice, I would go for positive living. Positive thinking is better than negative thinking and it will help us use our abilities to the fullest. Positive believing is a lot more than positive thinking. It is having a reason to believe that positive thinking will work. Positive believing is an attitude of confidence that comes with preparation. Having a positive attitude without making the effort is nothing more than having a wishful dream. The following illustrates positive believing. 7. Give More Than You Get It is easy to succeed today. We have no competition. If you want to get ahead in life, go the extra mile. There is no competition on the extra mile. Are you willing to do a little more than you get paid for? How many people you know are willing to do a little bit more than what they get paid for? Hardly any. Most people don't want to do what they get paid for and there is a second category of people who only want to do what they can get by with. They fulfil their quota just to keep their jobs. There is a small fraction who are willing to do a little bit more than what they get paid for. Why do they do more? If you fall into the last category, then where is your competition? The advantages of doing more than you get paid for are:  You make yourself more valuable, regardless of what you do and where you work.  It gives you more confidence.  People start looking at you as a leader.  Others start trusting you.  Superiors start respecting you.  It breeds loyalty from both your subordinates and your superiors.  It generates cooperation. 8. The Power of Persistence Nothing will take the place of persistence. Talent will not: Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not: Unrewarded genius is a proverb. Education will not: The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. --Calvin Coolidge The journey to being your best is not easy. It is full of setbacks. Winners have the ability to overcome and bounce back with even greater resolve. Fritz Kreisler, the great violinist, was once asked, "How do you play so well? Are you lucky?" He replied, "It is practice. If I don't practice for a month, the audience can tell the difference. If I don't practice for a week, my wife can tell the difference. If I don't practice for a day, I can tell the difference." Persistence means commitment and determination. There is pleasure in endurance. Commitment and persistence is a decision. Athletes put in years of practice for a few seconds or minutes of performance. Persistence is a decision. It is a commitment to finish what you start. When we are exhausted, quitting looks good. But winners endure. Ask a winning athlete. He endures pain and finishes what he started. 1.6.3 HURDLES IN ACHIEVING SUCCESS: Although there are lot of potential obstacles, the following hurdles are more common. 1. Lack of information 2. Lack of skill 3. Limiting beliefs 4. Well being 5. Other people 6. Own motivation 7. Time 8. Money 9. Fear 1. Lack of Information: Information can have one of two effects. With too much you can be overwhelmed, and can stop you from making a decision or taking the next steps. With too little information you are not able to put things into perspective, or look at the bigger picture. Identifying where you have gaps in your knowledge, and including this as part of your goal will move you closer to achieving it. There are several ways to obtain new information. Research, planned reading, listening to CD’s, DVD’s on a specific topic or networking with individuals who have the knowledge to share with you. 2. Lack of Skill: In order to move forwards you may have to pick up skills along the way. This need not be an enormous challenge. As part of your goal setting, understanding what skills you need to acquire, and how you will acquire them will form steps of your plan. This does not necessarily mean that you need to enrol on a course, although that is a great idea. Other alternatives such as on-line study, planned reading, shadowing a colleague in the workplace, or seeking advice from a friend can also help you obtain the skills you need. 3. Limiting beliefs: We all have a set of beliefs by which we live our lives. These are set in our subconscious at an early age. Sometimes these beliefs can hold you back and limit your ability to achieve you goals. Some common examples may be familiar to you. Indecision or Procrastination- should I do one thing or another? This often results in you doing nothing. The limiting belief manifests itself as “I am not able to make decisions”. Unable to make progress or stuck – when a way of working is no longer effective, you continue to use it and often forms a comfort zone, the limiting belief here could be “ I can’t/ won’t change”. Often people will state that “I don’t deserve to be successful”, or “that shouldn’t work for me”. Here we are seeing self sabotage and not valuing themselves and their own ability. 4. Well being: Despite your best efforts, there may be times when you are simply not able to pursue your goals. A sudden illness or injury can put set you back. When this happens you need to be realistic. Beating yourself up will not help, nor simply giving up. Take a little time to re assess your goal and consider what your options are now. How important is it that this goal is achieved within the original timeframe. Also consider how else you goal can be pursued, and who can help you during these times. 5. Other People: Quite often the people that are closest to us fear us achieving our goals. For them this means that you may change and that will also mean change for them. They may not be aware how important your goals are to you. If the people you share your time with for example family, friends, colleagues to not understand and support your goals, there is a chance that you may be influenced by this. If these people are adverse to change then they may well sabotage you plans. 6. Own Motivation: Although you may see out with the best intentions, after a while the novelty may wear off or there are other distractions. This may be down to a number of factors. Perhaps the goals that you set were too large, and needed to be broken down into smaller manageable chunks. Perhaps you are not getting the results, and need to consider what you doing that is are preventing you from moving forward. After continued effort you may feel that the goal is now actually something that do don’t want, or at least the outcome. In this case the goal needs to be reassessed. If it requires modification because circumstances have changed, then change it. If it no longer serves you, then don’t waste your energy following up on something just because you started it. 7. Time: We all live in a world where we don’t seem to have enough time. Many of us are “time poor”, which means that we do not manage our use of time to get the best results. Quite often I hear from the people around me “I just don’t have time to do x”. How true is this statement really? Have we taken on too much, overcommitted ourselves and are embarrassed to say no? Perhaps, but I have another view. If we approach our use of time without any structure we may just leap from one thing to another in no particular order. Without priority we will move from one thing to the next urgent thing. There is also the aspect of distractions. This can be distraction from others who do not have the same aspirations as you. There is the distraction of telephone calls and emails. Quite often we busy ourselves with those things that are nice to do, but do not take us any further forward to achieving our goals. 8. Money: Money is a common reason for not pursuing your goal. Usually it is the lack of money that stops you. When you hear someone say “I can’t afford it” or “I just don’t have the money”. These statements are usually offered up without much hesitation. While I agree that it may well be true to some extent, what alternatives have they really explored and how else could the money be found? If you are really serious about achieving this goal, what lengths would you go to in order to find the money (legally)! Let’s turn this around and look at it from another perspective. What is it costing you to not have that goal in your life right now? For example being in that bad relationship or enduring bad health. If in achieving this goal it was going to get you that next job, or mean that you would get that 10% performance bonus at work, what efforts would you go to? 9. Fear: What do I mean by fear? There are the more straightforward examples. If you need to do something that takes you right outside of your comfort zone for the first time, which may well install fear into you. Then there is the fear of failure. What will those around you think if you don’t achieve you goal. How will you face them and maintain your integrity. Better to quit now that to see it through right? That way no-one will be able to judge me. Another type of fear is the fear of success. What if I actually do it, and people find out I am a fraud? Is this goal something that I really want anyway? Self doubt comes into play and you try to talk yourself out of it. 1.7 FAILURE: Failure can be defined as the state or condition of not achieving a desirable or intended objective; it can be considered the opposite of success. Failure is just a state of mind. You are a failure only if you think that you failed. Your attitude towards a certain situation determines whether or not you have failed. The fact is that everyone fails in something or the other at some point in their lives. It is easy to think negatively when it seems that everything that you do is not good enough. Look at the following failures and come to a conclusion yourself: 1. Only 400 Cokes were sold in its first year of production. 2. Albert Einstein’s Ph.D dissertation was rejected. 3. Henry Ford had two bankruptcies before his famous success. 4. Thomas Alva Edison, the inventor of the electric bulb failed no less than 10000 times before succeeding. But he said “I have not failed. I have just found 10000 ways that won’t work. Disappointments, Rejections, Unsuccessful attempts were not failures to the successful people. They used them as stepping stones to success. This is the difference between people who win and people who don’t. Failure is not the lack of success. People are looking only the successes of others. They are not seeing the struggles, frustrations and disappointments they faced. Ralph Waldo Emerson who was a successful American essayist, lecturer and poet told “Men succeed when they realise that their failures are the preparation for their victories” Successful people don’t blame others for what has happened to them and they don’t use other people’s definitions for success and failure. They use their own. They just change paths, re- assess goals, try something new or adjust direction. To them, failure happens when they stop trying to achieve their personal best. 1.7.1 CAUSES OF FAILURE: The following factors can be considered as causes of failure. The most common failure-causing problems and their solutions: 1. Lack of Persistence: More people fail not because they lack knowledge or talent but because they just quit. It’s important to remember two words: persistence and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not to be done. Try new approaches. Persistence is important, but repeating the same actions over and over again, hoping that this time you'll succeed, probably won’t get you any closer to your objective. Look at your previous unsuccessful efforts and decide what to change. Keep making adjustments and midcourse corrections, using your experience as a guide. 2. Lack of Conviction: People who lack conviction take the middle of the road. But what happens in the middle of the road? You get run over. People without conviction go along to get along because they lack confidence and courage. They conform in order to get accepted, even when they know that what they are doing is wrong. Decide what is important to you. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right and doing well. Let your passion show even in mundane tasks. It’s OK to collaborate and cooperate for success, but it’s not OK to compromise your values—ever. 3. Rationalization: Winners might analyze, but they never rationalize. Losers rationalize and have a book full of excuses to tell you why they couldn’t succeed. Change your perspective. Don’t think of every unsuccessful attempt as a failure. Few people succeed at everything the first time. Most of us attain our goals only through repeated effort. Do your best to learn everything you can about what happened and why. 4. Dismissal of Past Mistakes: Some people live and learn, and some only live. Failure is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Wise people learn from their mistakes—experience is the name they give to slipups. Define the problem better. Analyze the situation—what you want to achieve, what your strategy is, why it didn’t work. Are you really viewing the problem correctly? If you need money, you have more options than increasing revenue. You could also cut expenses. Think about what you’re really trying to do. 5. Lack of Discipline: Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done it without discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused.  Don’t be a perfectionist. You might have an idealized vision of what success will look and feel like. Although that can be motivational, it might not be realistic. Succeeding at one goal won’t eliminate all your problems. Be clear on what will satisfy your objectives and don’t obsess about superficial details. 6. Poor Self-Esteem: Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. People with low self-confidence are constantly trying to find themselves rather than creating the person they want to be. Don’t label yourself. You might have failed, but you’re not a failure until you stop trying. Think of yourself as someone still striving toward a goal, and you’ll be better able to maintain your patience and perseverance for the long haul. 7. Fatalistic Attitude: A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign themselves to their fate, regardless of their efforts, that whatever has to happen will happen anyway. Look in the mirror every day and say, I am in charge. You might not have control over every phase of your life, but you have more control than you realize, and you are responsible for your own happiness and success. Your attitude determines your altitude, and you can turn “down” into “up”. 1.8 SWOT ANALYSIS: SWOT stands for: Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat. A SWOT analysis guides you to identify your organization’s strengths and weaknesses (S-W), as well as broader opportunities and threats (O-T). A SWOT analysis can offer helpful perspectives at any stage of an effort. You might use it to:  Explore possibilities for new efforts or solutions to problems.  Make decisions about the best path for your initiative. Identifying your opportunities for success in context of threats to success can clarify directions and choices.  Determine where change is possible. If you are at a juncture or turning point, an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses can reveal priorities as well as possibilities.  Adjust and refine plans mid-course. A new opportunity might open wider avenues, while a new threat could close a path that once existed.  SWOT also offers a simple way of communicating about your initiative or program and an excellent way to organize information you've gathered from studies or surveys. SWOT analysis can help the following people.  Students  Managers and Owners  Professionals, Executives  Career Starters  Practitioners and HR  Doctors and Engineers  Employees  Husband and Wife  Parents 1.8.1 THE ADVANTAGES OF CONDUCTING A PERSONAL SWOT ANALYSIS: The main purpose of a SWOT is to promote the identified strengths, reduce weaknesses, exploiting the opportunities and having contingency plans to minimize threats. There are many benefits and advantages of using SWOT Analysis for personal development. It is good for your success and betterment. Some of the most common benefits of conducting a personal SWOT analysis have been mentioned below.  Helps to develops strategies to attain your goals  You can be better than your friends and colleagues  Shows where you currently stand on the path of success  Measures your scopes of reaching desired goals  Boosts your career, life and personality  Helps to better understand who you really are as a person  Maximizes your strengths and diminishes your weaknesses  Explores and also enhances your soft skills and hard skills  It helps you understand your preferences and personality traits.  Focuses on your attitudes, abilities, skills, capabilities and capacities 1.8.2 USING THE SWOT ANALYSIS TOOL: Strengths: These are the traits or skills that set you apart from others. Questions to ask include:  What benefits do you have which others do not have? This could include skills, education, or connections.  What are you better at than anyone else?  What personal resources do you have access to?  What do other people see as your strengths?  Which achievements are you most proud of?  What values do you believe in that others fail to show?  Are you part of a network no one else is involved in? What connections do you have with powerful people? Weaknesses: This part examines the areas in which you need to improve and the things that will set you back in your career. Questions to consider include:  What work do you usually avoid because of lack of confidence?  What do people think you weaknesses are?  Are you happy with your education and skills training?  Do you have any negative work habits?  Which of your personality traits hold you back? Opportunities: For the opportunities section, look at the external factors you can take advantage of to pursue a promotion, find a new job or determine a career direction.  What new technology can assist you?  Can you take advantage of the market in its present state?  Do you have a network of strategic contacts to offer good advice or help you?  Is any of your competitors failing to do something important? Can you take advantage of it?  Is there a need in your company which no one is filling?  Could you create an opportunity by offering solutions to problems? Threats: This part takes into account the external factors that could hurt your chances to attain your goals. The factors to take into account include:  What hindrances do you currently face at work?  Is any of your co-workers competing with you for projects or roles?  Is your job changing?  Can technological changes threaten your position?  Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats? 1.8.3 EXAMPLE OF SWOT ANALYSIS: SWOT tool used by a small independent book store: HELPFUL HARMFUL STRENGTHS: WEAKNESSES:  Our workers are well educated  Space is tight students who love books  Bank gave us a limited loan  The space is attractive and inviting  Business is slower during summer INTERNAL  Customers are supportive of small vacation book store  Popular cafe makes it easy for customers to linger and find something to buy. OPPORTUNITIES: THREATS:  We can have local authors give  Large chains have more buying lectures and book signings. power  We can make personalized  E-books and e-book readers recommendations to long term  Younger generations don’t read as customers much EXTERNAL  We can deliver the same day to  Nearby public library reopened mobility impaired customers after two years.  We can feature things that appeal to summer tourists  We can start a frequent buyer program UNIT II ATTITUDE & MOTIVATION Attitude - Concept - Significance - Factors affecting attitudes - Positive attitude – Advantages –Negative attitude- Disadvantages - Ways to develop positive attitude - Differences between personalities having positive and negative attitude. Concept of motivation - Significance – Internal and external motives - Importance of self- motivation- Factors leading to de-motivation 2.1 DEFINITION: An attitude is a positive, negative, or mixed evaluation of an object that is expressed at some level of intensity. It usually implies feelings that are either positive or negative. Attitudes are our established ways of responding to people and situations that we have learned based on the beliefs, values and assumptions we hold and our life experiences. Our attitude towards a person or event is displaced through our behaviour as a result of interaction with that person. A person’s attitude represents how he or she feels about something or their state of mind. Example: If one can have a good (or positive) attitude toward their work, it means they feel good about their work, their job, their organisation, etc. If one can have a bad (or negative) attitude, it means they dislike their environment no matter what is going around them. 2.2 CONCEPT OF ATTITUDE: The concept of attitude occupies a very favoured position in social psychology and is considered very important for every individual who wants success in their life. Attitudes are evaluative statements, either favourable or unfavourable, concerning objects, people or events. They reflect how one feels about something. Example: When you say “I like Mathematics”, you are expressing your attitude towards the subject of mathematics. 2.3 THREE CONCEPTS OF ATTITUDE: 1. Cognitive Attitude: Our belief in something is the cognitive attitude. Example: “Gender discrimination is widespread” - This is an opinion which evaluates the topic of discrimation based on gender.  2. Affective Attitude: It is the emotional or feeling segment of attitude. Example: “I don’t like Jon because he discriminates against minorities.” 3. Behavioural attitude: It refers to an intention to behave in a certain way toward someone or something. Example: Employees working in an organisation commonly can follow certain behaviour for the purpose of betterment of the organisation 2.4 SIGNIFICANCE OR IMPORTANCE OF ATTITUDE: Attitude plays a very important role for achieving the success. It is more important than education, money, knowledge, intelligence, talents or skills. It applies to every sphere of life, including one's personal and professional life. Can an executive be a good executive without a good attitude? Can a student be a good student without a good attitude? Can a parent, teacher, salesman, employer, employee be good in their roles without a good attitude? The foundation of success regardless of your chosen field is attitude. If attitude is such a critical factor in success, shouldn't you examine your attitude toward life and ask how your attitude will affect your goals? Example: Journalists, friends, armed forces, Specialists and event their father laughed at an idea of an aeroplane proposed by Orville Wright and Wilbur Wright (Wright brothers). Many people told “What a silly and insane way to spend money?” “Only birds can fly. Machines cannot fly!” The Wright brothers responded we have a dream and we can make it happen”. As a result, the aeroplanes were invented. This shows the importance of attitude towards the success. 2.5 FACTORS AFFECTING ATTITUDE: There are primarily three factors that determine our attitude. They are: 1. Environment 2. Experience 3. Education These are called the triple Es of attitude. Let's evaluate each of the factors individually. 1. Environment Environment consists of the following:  Home: Parents, Siblings, relatives, Neighbours and friends.  School: Teachers, school staff, seniors, juniors.  Work place: Colleagues, superiors and subordinates.   Media: Television, newspapers, magazines, radio, movies  Cultural background  Religious background  Traditions and beliefs  Social environment  Political environment All of these environments create a culture. Every place, a home, organization or a country has a culture. In countries where the government and political environment is honest, generally you will find that the people are honest, law abiding and helpful. And the reverse is true too. In a corrupt environment, an honest person has a tough time whereas in an honest environment, the corrupt one has a tough time. In a positive environment, a marginal performer's output goes up. In a negative environment, a good performer's output goes down. 2. Experiences: Our behaviour changes according to our experiences with people and events in our life. If we have a positive experience with a person, our attitude toward him becomes positive and vice versa. 3. Education: It refers to both formal and informal education, not just academic qualifications. Knowledge strategically applied translates into wisdom, ensuring success. Education makes the role of the educator vital. A teacher affects eternity. The ripple effect is immeasurable. We are drowning in information but starving for knowledge and wisdom. Education ought to teach us not only how to make a living but also how to live. 2.6 POSITIVE ATTITUDE: A positive attitude helps you to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking. It will bring constructive changes into your life and make you happier, brighter and more successful. People with positive attitudes have certain personality traits that are easy to recognize. They are caring, confident, patient, and humble. They have high expectations of themselves and others. They anticipate positive outcomes. A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He is always welcome. 2.6.1 The Benefits of a Positive Attitude: These are many and easy to see. But what is easy to see is also easy to miss. To mention a few, a positive attitude  increases productivity  fosters teamwork   solves problems  improves quality  makes for congenial atmosphere  breeds loyalty  increases profits  fosters better relationships with employers, employees, and customers  reduces stress  helps a person become a contributing member of society and an asset to their country  makes for a pleasing personality 2.6.2 Steps to build a Positive Attitude: Step 1: Changing the Focus and Looking for the Positive: We need to become good finders. We need to focus on the positive in life. Let's start looking for what is right in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong. Even in paradise, fault finders will find faults. Most people find what they are looking for. If they are looking for friendship, happiness and the positive, that is what they get. If they are looking for fights or indifference, then that is what they get. Looking for the positive does not mean overlooking faults. Step 2: Making a Habit of Doing It Now: We have all procrastinated at some time in our lives. Procrastination leads to a negative attitude. The habit of procrastination fatigues you more than the effort it takes to do it. A completed task is fulfilling and energizing; an incomplete task drains energy like a leak from a tank. If you want to build and maintain a positive attitude, get into the habit of living in the present and doing it now. Step 3: Developing an Attitude of Gratitude: Count your blessings, not your troubles. Take time to smell the roses. It is not uncommon to hear that someone, because of an accident or illness, became blind or paralyzed but won a million dollars in settlement. How many of us would like to trade places with that person? Not many. We are so focused on complaining about things we don't have that we lose sight of the things we have. There is a lot to be thankful for. Step 4: Getting into a Continuous Education Program: Let's get some myths out of the way. It is a general belief that we get educated in schools and colleges. "Do we really get educated in schools and colleges?" Generally, there is a consensus that some do but most don't. We receive a lot of information in schools and colleges and that alone is not needed in achieving our goals. We do need information to be educated. But we need to know the true meaning of education. Step 5: Building a Positive Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. When we feel good within, our performance goes up, our relationships improve both at home and at work. The world looks nicer. What is the reason? There is a direct correlation between feeling and behaviour. Step 6: Staying away from Negative Influences: Today's teenagers learn from adult behaviour and the media. They face peer pressure. Peer pressure is not just limited to teenagers; it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a lack of self-esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No, thank you," and stay away from negative influences: What are the negative influences? 2.7 NEGATIVE ATTITUDE: People with negative attitudes will blame the whole world, their parents, teachers, spouse, the economy and the government for their failures. Some people criticize no matter what. It does not matter which side you are on, they are always on the other side. They have made a career out of criticizing. They are "career critics." They criticize as if they will win a prize at a contest. They will find fault with every person and every situation. You will find people like this in every home, family, office. They go around finding fault and telling everybody how bad things are and blaming the whole world for their problems. All that they are doing is causing more tension for themselves and for others around them. They spread negative messages like a plague and create an environment conducive to negative results. Some people always look at the negative side. Who are pessimists? Pessimists  are unhappy when they have no troubles to speak  feel bad when they feel good, for fear they will feel worse when they feel better  spend most of their life at complaint counters  always turn out the lights to see how dark it is  are always looking for cracks in the mirror of life  stop sleeping in bed when they hear that more people die in bed than anywhere else  cannot enjoy their health because they think they may be sick tomorrow  not only expect the worst but make the worst of whatever happens  don't see the doughnut, only the hole  believe that the sun shines only to cast shadows  forget their blessings and count their troubles  know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe "why take a chance?" 2.8 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE ATTITUDES. S.no Negative attitude personality Positive attitude personality 1 They are always part of the problem They are always part of the answer 2 They always has an excuse They always has a program 3 Sees a problem for every answers Sees an answer for every problem 4 Says “It may be possible but it is too difficult” Says “It may be difficult but it is possible” 5 Says “It was not my fault Says “I was wrong” 6 Always apart from the team Always a part of the team. 7 Sees only problems Sees all possibilities 8 Says “Life is hard” Says “Life is filled with experiences” 9 Thinks “People are worst” Thinks “Good people are there” 10 Always hates the work place Always work with lovely people 11 They are mostly losers They are mostly winners 12 Always looks on the negative side Always looks on the positive side 13 They are always angry, frustrated and stressed. They are always happier, polite and lovable 14. Always says “Impossible” Always says “Possible” 15. Says “I can’t do” Says “I can do” 2.9 MOTIVATION 2.9.1 Concept of Motivation:  Motivation is something that encourages action or feeling. To motivate means to encourage and inspire. Motivation can also mean to turn on or ignite the feeling or action.  Motivation is powerful. It can persuade, convince and propel you into action. In other words, motivation can be defined as motive for action. It is a force that can literally change your life.  Motivation is the driving force in our lives. It comes from a desire to succeed. Without success there is little pride in life; no enjoyment or excitement at work and at home. Often life becomes like a lopsided wheel giving a bumpy ride. The greatest enemy of motivation is complacence. Complacence leads to frustration, and when people are frustrated they give up because they cannot identify what is important. 2.9.2 Significance and types: Once you understand the principle that motivates the motivator, you can proceed to achieve your goal and can motivate others too. Your internal motivation is your drive and attitude. It is contagious. Attitude is the key to getting the response you want from others. How does a person stay motivated and focused? One important tool that has been used by athletes for a long time is called auto-suggestion. Auto suggestions are positive statements made in the present tense and repeated regularly. In other words it is positive self-talk. Motivation is classified into two types: 1. External motivation and 2. Internal motivation. 2.10 EXTERNAL MOTIVATION External motivation comes from outside, such as money, societal approval, fame or fear. Examples of external motivation are fear of getting spanked by parents and fear of getting fired at work. A company wanted to set up a pension plan. In order for the plan to be installed, it needed 100% participation. Everyone signed up except John. The plan made sense and was in the best interest of everyone. John not signing was the only obstacle. John's supervisor and other co-workers had tried to persuade him without success. The owner of the company called John into his office and said, "John, here is a pen and these are the papers for you to sign to enrol into the pension plan. If you don't enrol, you are fired this minute." John signed right away. The owner asked John why he hadn't signed earlier. John replied, "No one explained the plan quite as clearly as you did." 2.10.1 Fear Motivation The advantages of fear motivation are:  It gets the job done quickly.  It is instantaneous.  It prevents loss, by meeting deadlines.  In the short run the person's performance may improve. The disadvantages of fear motivation are:  It is external, which means the motivation is there while the motivator is there. When the motivator goes, the motivation also goes.  It causes stress. Performance is limited to compliance.  In the long run, performance goes down. It destroys creativity.  They get used to the stick and then need a bigger stick. Example: A customer asked an employee, "When did you start working here?" He replied, "Ever since they threatened to fire me." 2.10.2 Incentive Motivation External motivation can also take the form of incentives, bonuses, commission, recognition, etc. What are the advantages of incentive motivation? The major advantage is that it can work very well as long as the incentive is strong enough. Think of a donkey with a carrot dangling in front and with a cart behind. Incentive motivation will only work if the donkey is hungry enough, the carrot is sweet enough and the load is light enough. From time to time, you have to let the donkey take a bite of the carrot; otherwise it is going to get discouraged. After the donkey takes a bite, its stomach is full, and you need to wait for the donkey to get hungry again before it will pull the cart. This is typically seen in our business environment. The moment sales people meet their quota, they stop working. This is because their motivation is limited to meeting their quota. That is external, not internal. 2.11 INTERNAL MOTIVATION Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success or winning, but for the fulfilment that comes from having done it. It is a feeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a goal. Reaching an unworthy goal does not give the gratifying feeling. Internal motivation is lasting, because it comes from within and translates into self-motivation. Motivation needs to be identified and constantly strengthened to succeed. Keep your goals in front of you and read them morning and evening. The two most important motivating factors are recognition and responsibility.  Recognition means being appreciated; being treated with respect and dignity; and feeling a sense of belonging.  Responsibility gives a person a feeling of belonging and ownership. He then becomes part of the bigger picture. Lack of responsibility can become demotivating. Monetary rewards are temporary and short-lived; they are not gratifying in the long run. In contrast, seeing an idea being implemented can be emotionally gratifying by itself. People feel that they are not being treated like objects. They feel part of a worthwhile team. The reward of doing the right thing by itself is motivating. 2.12 THE FOUR STAGES FROM MOTIVATION TO DEMOTIVATION 1. Motivated Ineffective This is the stage when the employee is most open minded, receptive and easy to mold to the culture of the organization. Training and orientation become imperative. Professional organizations, on the other hand, take special care to induct people into their organizations. They explain to them, among other things, the following:  the hierarchy  expectations of each other  do's and don’ts  parameters and guidelines   what is acceptable and what is not  what are the resources 2. Motivated Effective: This is the stage when the employee has learned what to do and does it with drive and energy. He has learned the trade and it reflects in his performance. Then he moves on to the next stage. 3. Demotivated Effective: After some time the motivation level goes down and the employee starts learning the tricks of the trade. This is the stage when the employee is not motivated. He continues doing just enough so that the employer has no reason to fire him but he is really not motivated. This stage is detrimental to growth--most people in organizations fall into this third stage. A motivated professional learns the trade and leaves the tricks to cheats and crooks, but a demotivated employee start sabotaging the company. His performance is marginal. He makes fun of the good performers. He rejects new ideas and spreads the negativity all around. Our objective is to bring them back to the second stage of motivated effective through training. An employee ought not to stay in the third stage too long; because from here either they move back to the second stage, which is being motivated and effective, or they move into the fourth stage. 4. Demotivated Ineffective: At this stage, the employer does not have much choice but to fire the employee, which may be the most appropriate thing to do anyway at this point. Remember, employers want the same thing as employees do. They want to succeed and improve business and if employees help in this objective, then they make themselves valuable and achieve their own success. 2.13 DEMOTIVATING FACTORS: Some of the demotivating factors are:  Unfair criticism  Negative criticism  Public humiliation  Rewarding the non performer which can be demotivating for the performer  Failure or fear of failure  Success which leads to complacence  Lack of direction  Lack of measurable objectives  Low self-esteem  Lack of priorities   Negative self-talk  Office politics  Unfair treatment  Hypocrisy  Poor standards  Frequent change  Responsibility without authority 2.14 MOTIVATING FACTORS: What we really want to accomplish is self-motivation, when people do things for their own reasons and not yours. That is lasting motivation. Remember, the greatest motivator is belief. We have to inculcate in ourselves the belief that we are responsible for our actions and behaviour. When people accept responsibility, everything improves: quality, productivity, relationships and teamwork. A few steps to motivate others:  Give recognition  Give respect  Make work interesting  Be a good listener  Throw a challenge  Help but don't do for others what they should do for themselves UNIT III SELF-ESTEEM Term self-esteem - Symptoms - Advantages - Do's and Don’ts to develop positive self-esteem – Low self- esteem - Symptoms - Personality having low self esteem - Positive and negative self esteem. Interpersonal Relationships – Defining the difference between aggressive, submissive and assertive behaviours - Lateral thinking. 3.1 DEFINITION: Self-esteem is how we value ourselves; it is how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others. Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, and our work – nearly every part of our lives. 3.2 HIGH or POSTIVE SELF ESTEEM: Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge of our lives and grow from our mistakes without the fear of rejection. 3.2.1 Symptoms and Signs of High Self-Esteem: Some of the outward signs of high self-esteem:  Confidence  Self-direction  Non-blaming behaviour  An awareness of personal strengths  An ability to make mistakes and learn from them  An ability to accept mistakes from others  Optimism  An ability to solve problems  An independent and cooperative attitude  Feeling comfortable with a wide range of emotions  An ability to trust others  A good sense of personal limitations  Good self-care  The ability to say no 3.2.2 Advantages of High Self-Esteem There is a direct relationship between people's feelings and their productivity. High self-esteem is evident in respect for one's self, others, property, law, parents and one's country. The reverse is also true. Self-esteem:  Builds strong conviction.  Creates willingness to accept responsibility.  Builds optimistic attitudes.  Leads to better relationships and fulfilling lives.  Makes a person more sensitive to others' needs and develop a caring attitude.  Makes a person self-motivated and ambitious.  Makes a person open to new opportunities and challenges.  Improves performance and increases risk-taking ability.  Helps a person give and receive both criticism and compliments tactfully and easily. 3.3 LOW SELF ESTEEM: Low self-esteem is a worst condition that keeps individuals from realizing their full potential. A person with low self-esteem feels unworthy, incapable and incompetent. In fact, because the person with low self- esteem feels so poorly about him or herself, these feelings may actually cause the person’s continued low self-esteem. 3.3.1 Symptoms and Signs of Low Self-Esteem:  Negative view of life  Perfectionist attitude  Mistrusting others – even those who show signs of affection  Blaming behaviour  Fear of taking risks  Feelings of being unloved and unlovable  Dependence – letting others make decisions  Fear of being ridiculed 3.4 INCREASING OUR SELF ESTEEM: Feelings of low self-esteem often build up over a lifetime, and letting go of ingrained feelings and behaviours is not an easy task. It may take time, hard work, and it may require professional counselling. But there are some simple, positive thinking techniques that can be used to help improve self-esteem. These are called affirmations. Using affirmations to stop negative self-talk is a simple, positive way to help increase self-esteem. Affirmations are encouraging messages we can give ourselves every day until they become part of our feelings and beliefs. Affirmations work best when a person is relaxed. But since people are often upset when they are giving themselves negative self-messages, they may need to counter negative messages with positive ones. For example, replace the message “I made a stupid mistake, and I am no good at this job,” with “Yes, I made a mistake but I have learned from it, and now I can a better job.” Begin each day by looking in the mirror and giving us a positive message. The following affirmations can help you to work toward a positive self-image:  I respect myself and others  I am lovable and likable  I am confident, and it shows  I am creating loving, healthy relationships  I am a good friend to myself and others  I accept myself just as I am  I look great  Life is good, and I like being a part of it 3.5 PERSONALITY HAVING LOW SELF ESTEEM  They are generally gossip mongers.  They have a critical nature. They criticize as if there is a contest going on and they have to win a prize.  They have high egos they are arrogant and believe they know it all. People with low self-esteem are generally difficult to work with and for. They tear down others to get a feeling of superiority.  They are closed minded and self-centred.  They constantly make excuses--always justifying failures.  They never accept responsibility--always blaming others.  They have a fatalistic attitude no initiative and always waiting for things to happen.  They are jealous by nature.  They are unwilling to accept positive criticism. They become defensive.  They are bored and uncomfortable when alone. 3.6 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HIGH SELF ESTEEM AND LOW SELF ESTEEM: S.no High Self-Esteem Personality Low Self-Esteem Personality 1 Talk about ideas Talk about people 2 Caring attitude Critical attitude 3 Humility Arrogance 4 Respects authority Rebels against authority 5 Courage of conviction Goes along to get along 6 Confidence Confusion 7 Concerned about character Concerned about reputation 8 Assertive Aggressive 9 Accepts responsibility Blames the whole world 10 Self-interest Selfish 11 Optimistic Fatalistic 12 Understanding Greedy 13 Willing to learn Know it all 14 Sensitive Touchy 15 Solitude Lonely 16 Discuss Argue 17 Believes in self-worth Believes in net worth only 18 Guided Misguided 19 Discipline Distorted sense of freedom 20 Internally driven Externally driven 21 Respects others Looks down on others 22 Enjoys decency Enjoys vulgarity 23 Knows limit Everything goes 24 Giver Taker 3.7 INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP: A strong bond between two or more people refers to interpersonal relationship. Attraction between individuals brings them close to each other and eventually results in a strong interpersonal relationship. 3.7.1 Forms of Interpersonal relationship An interpersonal relationship can develop between any of the following:  Individuals working together in the same organization.  People working in the same team.  Relationship between a man and a woman (Love, Marriage).  Relationship with immediate family members and relatives.  Relationship of a child with his parents.  Relationship between friends. Relationship can also develop in a group (Relationship of students with their teacher, relationship of a religious guru with his disciples and so on). 3.7.2 Types of Interpersonal relationship: Theories of friendship emphasize the concept of friendship as a freely chosen Friendship association. Family communication patterns establish roles, identities and enable the growth of Family individuals. Family dysfunction may also be exhibited by communication patterns. Romantic relationships are defined in terms of the concepts of passion, intimacy Romantic and commitment. Professional Professional communication encompasses small group communication and Relationships interviewing. 3.7.3 Seven Essential Skills to build Strong Inter Relationships: 1. Relaxing Optimistically: If we are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around us. If we appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If we are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if we've rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. 2. Listening Deeply: Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words. Listening with our eyes and heart is important. Noticing facial expressions and body postures is also an enhanced listening. 3. Feeling Empathetically: Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust. 4. Responding Carefully: Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message. 5. Synchronizing Cooperatively: When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive. 6. Act Authentically: Acting authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security. When you act authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect. 7. Acknowledge Generously: Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship. 3.8 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN AGGRESSIVE, SUBMISSIVE AND ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOURS: 1. Submissive behaviour: Submissiveness is giving more importance to one's relationship with others at the cost of one's goals. Difficulty saying NO, letting the other make a decision not being able to make a request are typical observations with Submissive behaviour. People who are submissive tend to: a) Avoid stating their needs and feelings; b) Communicate their needs and feelings in an apologetic way; and c) Give others rights that they don’t claim for themselves. Example: “I’m really sorry. I just don’t have the time to go through those reports with you now. I’ve got to get all these accounts finished before lunch time. My boss is a real pain, asking me to do this today. I’d really like to help you. I’ll look at it later if that’s okay?” 2. Aggressive behaviour: Aggressiveness is giving more importance to your goals than to your relationships. At times lack of respect for others, their thoughts, feelings, opinions, values etc. It can also be seen nonverbal behaviours. Aggressiveness is expressed either directly or passively. Passive aggression includes gossiping, taunting, cracking a mean joke etc. People who are aggressive tend to: a) Encourage others to do things by flattery or manipulation; b) Ignore the needs and feelings of others, either intentionally or by default; and c) Take rights for themselves that they don’t give to others. Example: “Do you think I’ve nothing better to do than check those reports?” 3. Assertive behaviour: Assertiveness is considered to be the ideal style of communicating. It is about giving equal importance to and being able to finely balance between the goals and the relationships. It involves being able to say NO effectively, being able to express thoughts, feeling, opinions freely. This is logical, thinking behaviour. It is not driven by your emotions. And although it may be natural for a few people, it tends to be learned behaviour. People who are assertive tend to: a) Being clear and direct in what you say; b) Stating your needs and feelings in a straightforward way; and c) Standing up for your rights without violating the rights of others. Example: “I’m unable to help you with those reports this morning. I am doing accounts at the moment, and I’ll be pleased to help you this afternoon. What time suits you?” Which behaviour is best? None of this is necessarily good or bad, but if we want to be better at managing difficult people, we need to ensure that: - we should not use submissive or aggressive behaviour. - we should recognise submissive or aggressive behaviour in others. - we should learn and use assertive techniques with difficult people. Assertiveness is a very positive response in any interaction. It makes it clear to the other person what you are unhappy about and allows you to calmly state your case without violating their rights. 3.9 LATERAL THINKING: Lateral thinking, is the ability to think creatively or "outside the box" as it is sometimes referred to in business, to use your inspiration and imagination to solve problems by looking at them from unexpected perspectives. It's very important in careers such as advertising, marketing, the media and art and design. The Lateral thinking capabilities of a person can be tested by asking him/ her by a set of questions. Some Questions and Answers for Lateral thinking: 1. A man built a rectangular house, each side having a southern view. He spotted a bear. What colour was the bear? Answer: White. Only at the North Pole can all four walls be facing south. 2. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister? Answer: No - because he's dead. 3. You are running in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you overtake the second person then you become second. 4. In the same race, if you overtake the last person, then you are in what position? Answer: You can't overtake the last person in a race! UNIT IV OTHER ASPECTS OF PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT Body language – Problem solving - Conflict and Stress Management - Decision-making skills - Leadership and qualities of a successful leader – Character building -Team-work – Time management -Work ethics –Good manners and etiquette. 4.1 BODY LANGUAGE: 4.1.1 Definition: "Body language is the unconscious and conscious transmission and interpretation of feelings, attitudes, and moods, through: body posture, movement, physical state, position and relationship to other bodies, objects and surroundings, facial expression and eye movement, the process of communicating what you are feeling or thinking by the way you place and move your body rather than by words” The study of body language is known as kinesics, which is derived from the Greek word kinesis, meaning motion. 4.1.2 Importance of Body Language: When one expresses his/her feelings, it has been said that.  55% of the communication consists of body language.  38% is expressed via the tone of voice or intonation and amazingly only  7% is communicated via words. This means that we express most of our feeling (93%) in a non-verbal way and our words only convey 7% of what we are saying or expressing. Body Language is a significant aspect of modern communications and relationships. Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and leadership, and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be seen and physically observed among people. Body language is also very relevant to relationships outside of work, for example, in families and parenting, behaving with friends, etc Communication includes listening. In terms of observable body language, non-verbal (non- spoken) signals are being exchanged whether these signals are accompanied by spoken words or not. 4.1.3 Factors of Body Language: Body language is not just about how we hold and move our bodies. Body language potentially (although not always, depending on the definition you choose to apply) encompasses:  how we position our bodies  our closeness to and the space between us and other people and how this changes  our facial expressions  our eyes especially and how our eyes move and focus, etc  how we touch ourselves and others  how our bodies connect with other non-bodily things, for instance, pens, cigarettes, spectacles and clothing  our breathing, and other less noticeable physical effects, for example our heartbeat and perspiration Body language tends not to include the pace, pitch, and intonation, volume, variation, pauses, etc., of our voice. Voice type and other audible signals are typically not included in body language because they are audible 'verbal' signals rather than physical visual ones, nevertheless the way the voice is used is a very significant (usually unconscious) aspect of communication, aside from the bare words themselves. Similarly breathing and heartbeat, etc., are typically excluded from many general descriptions of body language, but are certainly part of the range of non-verbal bodily actions and signals which contribute to body language in its fullest sense. More obviously, our eyes are a vital aspect of our body language. Our reactions to other people's eyes - movement, focus, expression, etc - and their reactions to our eyes - contribute greatly to mutual assessment and understanding, consciously and unconsciously. Our interpretation of body language, notably eyes and facial expressions, is instinctive, and with a little thought and knowledge we can significantly increase our conscious awareness of these signals: both the signals we transmit, and the signals in others that we observe. Doing so gives us a significant advantage in life - professionally and personally - in our dealings with others. Body language is not just reading the signals in other people. 4.2 PROBLEM SOLVING: Problem Solving is a mental process wherein an individual analyzes interprets a task or a problem at hand and chooses from a pool of possibilities to reach the simplest solution. It involves an individual’s creativity and decision making abilities. Following steps should be followed while solving a problem: 1. Identifying the problem: It is important to have clarity about what the problem at hand is and what it demands. The resources required to solve the task and the kind of solutions that have been used before and have been successes and failures. 2. Forming a strategy: The approach to solving the problem will depend upon the environment and the available resources. It will differ from individual to individual since they will have their own preferences and set schemas. 3. Organizing Information: As stated before, it is important to gather as much information as possible and organizing it, segregating it to identify the gaps. Whether it’s a top down approach or a bottom up approach, one should be able to identify the source of the problem. 4. Allocating resources and monitoring the process: Once you know the problem, its source and have organized the information, allocate the resources such as time, money etc, including past experiences and future impacts. For effective solutions, one also needs to monitor the progress of the approach to avoid being caught in the vicious circle of escalation of commitment. 5. Evaluating the Solution: Once the task at hand has been solved, what is its present and future impact? It can be immediate such as solving a math problem or a long term process such as a learning curve. 4.3 CONFLICT AND