Adult-Onset ADD: Adventure Deficit Disorder

happiness. The opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom. Excitement is the closest synonym of happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. Now to go back to the question. The question you should be asking isn't "What do you want?" or "What are you...

happiness. The opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom. Excitement is the closest synonym of happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. Now to go back to the question. The question you should be asking isn't "What do you want?" or "What are your goals", but rather, "What is most exciting to me?" 04.24.2023 Adult-Onset ADD: Adventure Deficit Disorder Somewhere between college graduation and your second job, a new chorus is sung in your life: Be realistic and stop pretending. Life isn't like the movies. If you manage to ignore the doubters and start your own business, ADD doesn't disappear, it only takes on another form. When the author started his company, he aimed to make $1000 whether he was banging his head on his laptop or clipping his nails on the beach. It was obvious that this didn't happen until a meltdown forced this. It was because he didn't define alternative activities that would replace the workload. He merely continued the workload to feel productive even though there was no financial need. This is how most people work until death: "I'll just work until I have X dollars and do what I want." If you don't define the "what I want", the X figures will increase indefinitely to avoid the fear of uncertainty in this void. Boredom is the enemy, not some abstract "failure" Correcting course: Get unrealistic There is a process that our author applies to correct the course of his life when the fat man in the red BMW rears his head. This process is called dreamlining. This process applies timelines to what most would consider dreaming: 1. The goals shift from ambiguous wants to defined steps 2. The goals have to be unrealistic to be effective 3. It focuses on activities that will fill the vacuum created when the work is removed. Living like a millionaire requires doing interesting things and not just having enviable things. 04.25.2023 Questions and Answers The existential vacuum manifests itself mainly in a state of boredom Dreamlining is fun and hard. But, the harder it is, the more you need it. 1. What would you do if you had no way to fail? If you were 10 times smarter that the rest of the world? Create two timelines-6 months and 12 months- then list 5 things you dream of having (sports car, gaming pc, or even a house) and doing (visiting Japan, Cooking, or Dancing) in that order. If you have difficulty writing something in a specific category, think of the opposite (what you would hate to have or do) and write down the opposite. Do not limit yourself and do not concern yourself on how these will be accomplished. Be sure not to judge or fool yourself. Don't put down solving world hunger because you are guilty of buying a new sports car. If something will improve your feeling of self-worth, put it down. 2. Drawing a blank? Most people have trouble coming up with the defined dreams they're being held from. This is particularly true in the 'doing category". Consider answering these questions: a. What would you do today if you had $100 Million? b. What would make you most excited to wake up in the morning to another day? Don't rush, if you can't fill in the "doing" spots, use the following: c. One place to visit d. One thing to do before you die e. One thing to do daily f. One thing to do weekly g. and one thing you've always wanted to learn 3. What does "Being" entail doing? Convert each "being" to a "doing" to entail action. Identify a task that you need to characterize this state of being. h. Being a good cook - Cook christmas dinner without help i. Be fluent in chinese - talk to a native 5 minutes a day 4. What are the four dreams that would change it all? Using your two timelines, highlight the most exciting dream and/or important dreams from all columns. 5. Determine the cost of these dreams and calculate your target monthly income If financeable what is the cost per month for each of the four dreams. Start thinking of income and expenses in terms of monthly cash flow. Dollars in and dollars out instead of grand total. 6. Determine three steps for each of the four dreams in the 6 month timeline and take action on the first step now. The variables change too much in the future, distance becomes an excuse for postponing action. The goal therefore is to not outline every step from start to finish, but to define the end goal, the required vehicle to achieve them, and building momentum with critical first steps. The best first step is to find someone who's done it and ask for advice on how to do the same. It's not hard. Tomorrow becomes never. No matter how small, take the first step now! Comfort challenge The most important actions are never comfortable. Fortunately, it is possible to condition yourself for discomfort and to overcome it. You must learn to train yourself to propose solutions instead of asking for them, to elicit desired responses instead of reacting, and to be assertive without burning bridges. You have to develop the uncommon habit of making decisions, both for yourself and for others. Learn to eye gaze 1. Focus on one eye and remember to blink occasionally to not get your ass kicked. 2. In conversation, maintain eye contact when you are speaking 3. Practice with people who are bigger and more confident than yourself. 04.26.2023 E is for Elimination One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity. The end of Time-management Perfection is not when there is nothing to add, but when there is nothing to take away One tip about time management: forget about it! In a stricter sense, you shouldn't be trying to fill your calendar and to do more each day. Being busy is often used as a guise to avoid critically important but uncomfortable actions. You could reorganize your outlook emails, walk across the office, or fuss around your blackberry when you actually need prioritizing. Believe it or not, it is only possible to accomplish more by doing less. It is mandatory. 04.28.2023 Being effective vs being efficient Effectiveness is doing the things that brings you closer to your goals. Being efficient is doing things well (regardless of how unimportant or important it is). Being efficient without the regard of effectiveness is the default mode on the universe. A sales man who goes door to door to sell his products is incredibly efficient in what he does, but utterly ineffective. He or she could sell more if they use a different and efficient vehicle, like mails or e-mails. Here are two truisms to keep in mind: 1. Doing something unimportant well doesn't make it important. 2. Requiring a lot of time does not make a task important. From this point onward, what you do is more important than how you do it. Efficiency is still important but it is useless unless applied to the right things. Pareto and his garden: 80/20 and freedom from futility what gets measured gets managed. "Pareto's law" or "Pareto Distribution" states that 80% of the wealth and income was produced and came from 20% of the population. This can also me applied outside of economics. 80% of garden peas were produced by 20% of peapods. Pareto's Law can be summarized in the following: 80% of output result from 20% of the inputs. Our author was stuck in a 15 hour per day working situation, and realized that applying the 80/20 rule was the answer to his problem. He asked the following questions: 1. Which 20% of sources are causing 80% of my unhappiness and problems? 2. Which 20% of sources are resulting in 80% of my desired outcomes and happiness? For an entire day, he spent all his energy on determining the answers for these question, applying these question to his customers, friends, advertising to pleasant activities. Don't expect to find you're doing everything right. The truth often hurts.