Lifestyle Design: Past Paper

7. Things that are done in excess become the opposite Pacifists become militants, freedom fighters become tyrants, Blessings become curses. and help becomes hindrance. More becomes less. This is true for possessions and time. Lifestyle Design is not interested in creating an excess idle time, but th...

7. Things that are done in excess become the opposite Pacifists become militants, freedom fighters become tyrants, Blessings become curses. and help becomes hindrance. More becomes less. This is true for possessions and time. Lifestyle Design is not interested in creating an excess idle time, but the positive use of free time, defined simply as doing what you want opposed to doing what you are obligated to do. 8. Money Alone isn't the solution Adding more money isn't the answer that we seek. In part, it's laziness. "if only I had more money" is the easiest way to postpone the intense self-assessment and decision-making necessary to create a life of enjoyment. Busy yourself with the money wheel, pretend it's the fix-all, and you create an artful distraction that prevents you from seeing how pointless it all is. Deep down, you know it's an illusion, but with everyone participating in the make believe game, it's easy to forget. 04.21.2023 9. Relative income is more important that absolute income Relative income uses two variables: income and time, usually hours. Jane doe makes $100,000 a year while John Doe makes $50,000 a year. Jane works 80 hours a week. Jane makes 25$ an hour. John works 10 hours a week. John makes 100$ an hour. In relative income, John is 4 times richer. Of course relative income must add up to the minimum necessary amount in order to actualize your goals. If you make 100$ per hour but work only 1 hour a week, it's gonna be hard to run amuck like a super star! 10. Distress is bad, Eustress is good Distress is what makes you fail. It makes you weak, less confident, and less able. This can be destructive criticism, abusive bosses, or slamming your face on the curb. Eustress on the other hand is the opposite. "Eu" from the Greek word "healthy". It is used in the same sense as "euphoria". These are role models who push us to exceed our limits and take risks that expand our sphere of comfortable action- stress that is healthy and the stimulus of growth. People who avoid criticism fail. These is no progress without eustress, and the more eustress we experience, the sooner we can actualize our dreams. Questions and Actions 1. How has being "realistic" and "responsible" kept you from doing what you want in life? 2. How has doing what you "should" resulted in subpar experiences and regrets for not having done something else? 3. Look at what you are currently doing and ask "what happened? What would happen if I did the opposite of what people do around me? What will I sacrifice if I continue down this path for 5, 10, or even 20 years" Dodging bullets Fear-setting and Escaping Paralysis Many a false step was made while standing still. After 5 years of dread, Hans finally submitted his 3-week notice on a Monday morning. That same morning, he made a promise: two more times and I'm out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his vacation. We've all made promises these promises to ourselves, and Hans was one of them, but now he was different, something was different. He realized that risks weren't that scary once you took them. His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away- what the hell did he want? He didn't know what he wanted, but he tasted it. On the other hand, he knew what bored him to tears, and was done with it. After a year later he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then he started his own business, met the love of his life and spent the most relaxing time of his life under palm trees or treating clients to the best time of their lives. He would often have conversation with his clients where they say "God, I wish I could do what you do", to which he'd respond "You can." But as they paddle to shore after their session, his clients would get a hold of themselves and regain composure and say "I would, but I can't really throw it all away." He has to laugh. 04.22.2023 The power of pessimism: Defining the nightmare To do or not to do? To try or not to try? Many of us answer no whether they view themselves as brave or not. Uncertainty is very scary in the shadows, and most people will chose unhappiness over uncertainty. For years, the author set goals, made resolutions, and nothing came of it either. The simple solution came to him 4 years ago when he was completely miserable and working 15 hours a day making $70k a month. He felt trapped and stupid at the same time. Why am I such an idiot? Why can't I make this work? What's wrong with me? The truth was, nothing was wrong with him. It was not the driver, it was the vehicle. Then he hit upon a gem of an idea. He had thought up of every possible worst case scenario possible. He had envisioned all his future suffering. Conquering fear = Defining fear As he was thinking of his deepest fears, he began to back pedal. Instead of worrying about his planned trip around the world, He started to come up with how he could salvage the remaining resources in his business and get back on truck once the worst struck. He came to a realization that he always had options. He could go back to bartending for a few months, steal some lunch money from kindergartens, or even cut back on eating out. He realized that on a scale of 1-10, 1 being nothing and 10 being utterly life changing. His so called worst case scenarios were only a 3-4 at worst, and if he realize a best case or probable case scenario it would be a 9-10. In other words, he was worrying about a temporary 3-4 for a probable and permanent 9-10. This came to practical realization that there was basically no risk, only huge life-changing effects, and that he could resume course without any more effort than he was already putting. Uncovering fear disguised as optimism There is no difference between a pessimist who says "Oh, it's hopeless, so don't bother doing anything" and an optimist that says "Don't bother worrying, everything will turn out fine." They all have the same results: nothing happens. Fear comes in many forms. It's not the four letter word we most know it as, but it dresses up as something else: optimistic denial. Most who avoid quitting their jobs entertain the idea that everything will improve or increase in income. This seems valid and is a tempting hallucination for when your job is boring instead of pure hell. Pure hell forces action, but anything else can be endured. In reality you only believe that it will improve, and it is a sweet excuse for inaction. If you were really confident in improving, would you really be questioning things so? Generally not. That is the fear of the unknown disguised as optimism. To enjoy life, you don't need fancy nonsense, but you do need to control your time and realize that most things aren't just as serious as you make them to be. Don't save it all for the end. There is every reason not to. Questions and actions I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. If you are nervous about making the jump or simply putting it of out of fear, Write down your answers, and keep in mind that thinking will not improve anything. It is simply brain vomit on the page. Write and do not edit. 1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are concerning. Would it be the end of your life? On a scale of 1-10, are those concerns really permanent? How likely do you think that they would actually happen? 2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back up on the upswing, even if temporary? Chances are, it's easier than you imagine. How could d you get things back under control. 3. What are the outcomes or benefits of both temporary and permanent probable scenarios? Now that you have all the nightmares listed, what are the more probable and positive outcomes and what would the impact of these be on a scale of 1-10. 4. If you are fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control? 5. What are you putting off out of fear? Usually what we fear doing the most is what we most need to do. A persons success is measured by the most uncomfortable situations he or she is willing to have. 6. What is costing you - financially, emotionally, and physically - to postpone action? Don't just measure the potential downsides of action, you also need to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don't pursue things that excite you, where would you be in 5 or 10 years? how would you feel if you allow circumstances to impose itself upon you and allow more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you. 7. What are you waiting for? If you cannot answer this without resorting to the previous rejected concept of good timing, then you are afraid like everybody else. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and reparability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action. 04.23.2023 System Reset Being unreasonable and unambiguous A reasonable man adapts himself to the world. An unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress comes from the unreasonable man. A group of students were offered a round trip ticket around the world. The only catch is they have to complete an undefined "challenge". The challenge was to get at least one seemingly unreachable person- Obama, Bill Clinton, Arianna Grande- to reply to three questions. Out of 60 students, 30 only showed up to take the challenge, but 0 passed. On the second try, 6 out of 17 would pass. Was this because they were better than the first group? Absolutely not! The first group was even more capable, but they did nothing. They were all firepower and no trigger finger. The second group merely embraced what they were told, and that was: Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic It is lonely at the top! 99% of people are convinced that they are not capable of achieving great things, and so, the settle for mediocre things with mediocre results. The competition is thus fiercest for "realistic" goals. If you are insecure, guess what? Others are too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself! Having unrealistic goals are easier to achieve with yet another reason: it is an adrenaline infusion that provide endurance to overcome the inevitable trials. Realistic goals are boring, have an average ambition level and will only fuel you through the first or second part of your problem. If the potential payout is average or mediocre, so is your effort. The fishing is best where the few go, and the collective insecurity of the world makes it easier to score home runs in a field full of people aiming for base hits. What do you want? A better question, first of all Most people don't know what they want. If you ask me the same question, I'd also answer with I don't know. But what I do know is it's a matter of specificity. "What do you want?" is too imprecise to produce meaning and action. "What are your goals" is fated for confusion and guesswork. We need to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Let's say you achieved 10 of your goals. After which you ask- what was the desired outcome that makes the effort worthwhile? Most people would say happiness. But I no longer agree that happiness is the right answer. Happiness can now be bought by a single bottle of wine. What is the opposite of happiness? Sadness? How about Love? Hate? No. Just as love and hate are two sides of the same coin, so is happiness and sadness. A good example of this is crying out of