Millionaire Success Habits - PDF

Growth Publishing Phoenix, Arizona Copyright © 2017 by Dean Graziosi Growth Publishing books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the US by corporations, institutions, and other organizations at growth.com. For more information please contact Growth Publishing through email at [email protected]. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher and author, Dean Graziosi. Printed in the United States of America. Catalog-in-Publication Data for this book is available from the Library of Congress. ISBN 978-1-68419-207-6 TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S D E D I C AT I O N 1 INTRODUCTION 2 Chapter 1 13 THE TIME IS RIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS Chapter 2 22 T H E F O U N D AT I O N F O R A L L S U C C E S S Chapter 3 46 THE VILLAIN WITHIN Chapter 4 80 T H E P O W E R O F Y O U R S T O RY Chapter 5 100 AWAKEN THE INNER HERO Chapter 6 124 ONE SHINING GOAL Chapter 7 141 AT T R A C T I O N & P E R S U A S I O N Chapter 8 165 AFTER THE “YES” Chapter 9 184 THE POWER OF HAPPINESS Chapter 10 201 THE QUICK HACKS TO SUCCESS Chapter 11 221 THE CHALLENGE D E D I C AT I O N I’d like to dedicate this book to my dear friends Tony Robbins, Joe Polish, and Dan Sullivan, the three people who have had a mas- sive influence on my life, my success, and my abundance. I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for those three men who came into my life exactly when they were needed. But I also want to dedicate this book to all the men and women through- out the years who had the will and selflessness to share their life- changing wisdom, through books and talks, to those eager for a new path. I did my best to soak in all that I heard, read, and observed, and in turn, what I learned seeped into my thoughts and my words. The exercises, the stories, the recipes, and the success habits you’ll find in these pages I’ve learned through decades of my own trial and error, failures and successes. But they have been greatly enriched by all the others who have walked the path before me and for that I’m grateful. This dedication, then, is my way of recognizing all the people who have made such a big difference in my life. I’m hoping that in the same way, I will serve you, and this book will make an equally big difference in your life. 2 Millionaire Success Habits INTRODUCTION In the spring of 1944 a boy who we’ll call J.P. was born to im- migrant parents in a rough neighborhood in the heart of Los An- geles. Before J.P. was two years old, his parents divorced, his mother struggled financially, and by the time he was nine years old J.P. was out on the streets looking for a way to help his mom make ends meet. Newspapers, flowerpots, Christmas cards--you name it, he most likely tried to sell it. When his mother could no longer take care of J.P. and his brother, the boys were placed in a foster home. As a teenager with no parental guidance, J.P. fell into the wrong crowd, joined a local gang, and struggled to pass his classes as a stu- dent at John Marshall High School in Los Angeles. One day in 11th grade, J.P.’s high school teacher caught him and his friend Michelle goofing-off and passing notes in class, and proceeded to make them both stand up in front of the room while he proclaimed; “See these two? Don’t hang around them because they’re not going to amount to anything. They’ll absolutely never make it in any business.” J.P. may have not realized it at the time, but moments like that are what start to create our life habits: successful ones but also bad ones that can hold us back from our full potential. J.P. could have said to himself: “I’ll never amount to anything”. But he said, “The hell with that guy, I’ll prove him wrong.” J.P. developed his first success habit on one of his very first jobs. He said, “I worked all of my life, starting from nine years old. I had things like paper routes at eleven years old that I continued through- out high school. I even worked for a while at the local dry cleaner sweeping the floors and doing odd jobs for an owner that was so tight with money that he squeaked when he walked! I was working as hard as I possibly could for a mere $1.25 per hour. Then one day after school he called me over and said, ‘Last night I looked behind Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 3 the cabinets and there was no dust! Then I picked up a rug, no dust! You clean this place as if I’m watching you every minute!’ I said, ‘You hired me to clean and my job is to do the best I can.’ He was so pleased he gave me a raise to a $1.50 an hour. For him to do that, it was like I won an Academy Award. And to be honest, I learned an important lesson from this period of my life. Successful people, whether they’re working for somebody else or working for them- selves, do whatever they do to the best of their ability—as if the boss is watching them every minute of every day. I learned that in every- thing you do, always do your best.” Some may believe that this makes you a foolish “Yes man”. I believe that doing your best is just one of many success habits you should develop. The benefits are numerous, varied, and significant. In this instance, his habit helped J.P. complete a mundane task in the present (and complete it well) and led him to tasks in the future that he loved. Before continuing with J.P.’s story, I’d like to tell you a little about success habits and how this book will help you to make them your own. I am going to show you a path and process that will allow you to adopt success habits so they stick. You don’t have to flip your world upside down, or try to force “new habits” overnight that disrupt your life and cause you to go back to where you started. Rather, you can make barely-noticeable, small shifts in your daily routines by nudging out those things that don’t serve you and replacing them with habits that create a path to wealth and abundance. It doesn’t matter if you are an entrepreneur, a business owner, an executive, an investor, an employee, or a young person just starting your first job. The habits, principles, recipes, and exercises in the coming chapters will give you a competitive edge, catapulting you to that next level. So while this book’s main focus is on financial success, the meth- 4 Millionaire Success Habits ods I’ll share can also propel you to new levels of fulfillment in other areas of your life, including family, parenting, friendships, relation- ships, spirituality, health, physical fitness, love, passion, intimacy, and more. No matter what anyone has told you in the past, you are entitled to and can possess fulfillment, joy, and abundance in all areas of your life. I’ll help you develop these habits through a variety of methods. I’ll share amazing stories of hugely successful people I know and how they learned and applied the behaviors and routines that allowed them to become high achievers and earners. I’ll provide exercises for you to develop and practice new habits. And I’ll offer some stories from my own life that I hope will inspire and instruct. More about all this a bit later. Now let’s return to our friend, who when we last saw him was sweeping floors with great effort and skill. J.P. proceeded to graduate high school, but didn’t go to college. Instead he joined the U.S. Navy and served two years on the aircraft carrier, USS Hornet. After the navy, J.P. held various low-paying jobs including working as a janitor, at a gas station, and as an insurance salesman. He worked briefly for Redken Laboratories, but was fired after a disagreement with his boss. He even took a job as a low-paid door-to-door encyclopedia salesman. Looking back on that time, J.P. says he learned another im- portant life-long success habit. “I would knock on 50 doors and all 50 would be closed in my face. So I had to learn how to be just as enthusiastic on door number 51 or 151 as I was on the first door.” He learned to overcome rejection, communicate with people by listening to them, and how to persuade others to take action. Even though this was not a dream job, he didn’t realize at the time that he was building some of the key success habits that would allow him to achieve breakthroughs later in his life. At the time, though, they helped him persevere. The average door-to-door encyclopedia sales- Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 5 man at that time, working for straight commission, lasted only three days, while J.P. lasted three and a half years. Despite his work ethic, J.P. still became homeless as a young adult. “When I was homeless the first time, it was in my early 20’s. My wife just couldn’t handle being a mother anymore, so she left our two and a half year old son in my arms and took off with all the money we had. I soon learned that she hadn’t paid rent for the last three months, so with no money and being three months past due on rent, we were evicted. I was in between jobs, so my son and I were on the streets with no money coming in and attempting to live in an old car I owned at the time. I remember saying to my son, ‘We’re going to make this together.’ I went around to vacant lots and picked up Coke bottles and 7-Up bottles, because in those days you got two cents for a little one and five cents for a big one. When you’re broke and you can’t pay the bills, those are some of the most difficult times as a man and as a father. But what I learned was that when you’re really down and out and you’re at the very bottom, all you can do is look up.” As difficult as J.P.’s circumstances were, he possessed an advan- tage that many others in much better circumstances lack: He had a vision for his life! He was determined to start his own company and after selling encyclopedias door-to-door for those three years, he knew he didn’t want to work for someone else and that he could make it on his own. But there was a major obstacle: J.P only had $700 to his name. Everyone told him he couldn’t start his company because he needed more money, more schooling, more experience, more smarts, a different economy, and countless other things that he lacked. Sound familiar? Well after listening to all that advice, he did what most successful people do: He listened first and foremost to himself and started the company anyway. J.P. developed a success habit of 6 Millionaire Success Habits believing in himself and ignoring the naysayers. “That was extremely difficult for me. I mean, how do you start a company, balance your bills, not get paid, and still go out door-to-door selling your products every day? It was extremely difficult. We should have gone bankrupt every single day for the first two years of the company, but two years later, we were finally able to pay our bills on time. Not only pay them, but pay them off. I remember saying, ‘Hey, we made it. We’ve got $2,000 left over! We made it. We’re successful!’” Eventually J.P. was able to use his persuasion and communication skills to grow his company by leaps and bounds. J.P. even took his listening skills to the next level and developed a key habit of being able to read his customers on the deepest level. “I think what I’m re- ally skilled at is having the ability to listen. And not just listen, but to listen to everything people are saying instead of thinking about what I’m going to say next. That took a while, but I think I eventually got pretty good at that.” Through persistence and developing positive success habits—lis- tening to understand, having vision, always doing his best no mat- ter what, ignoring the naysayers, and staying positive in the face of rejection—J.P. built his company into an international success. Perhaps you’ve heard the old saying, “It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.” J.P. is living proof of this adage. He started with nothing and rose to become one of the wealthiest people in the world. In 2015, Forbes magazine listed him as number 234 on the Forbes 400 list of richest Americans with a net worth of $2.8 billion. J.P.’s full name is John Paul DeJoria. He’s the founder of the Paul Mitchell line of hair products, Patron Tequila, and a dozen other suc- cessful businesses. DeJoria often advises young entrepreneurs to develop positive habits, believe in their gut instincts, and take risks. He says, “You can’t just let other people get you down. I mean, what the heck do Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 7 they know? I was told, ‘No, you can never enter the beauty indus- try’ dozens of times. Everyone would tell me that ‘there’s too much competition and that I have no money.’ I was even laughed at when I started Patron. People said, ‘Tequila? At $37 per bottle? Are you kidding? I can buy tequila for four bucks!’ So go with your own gut feeling and always do something good for someone else.” Though I love all of John Paul DeJoria’s story, I relish that early admonition of his high school teacher who told John Paul and his friend Michelle Gilliam they’d never amount to anything. Well, to say that they proved this teacher wrong is a gross understatement. John Paul is a billionaire who’s changing lives all over the world and Michelle Gilliam is better known today as Michelle Phillips, a founding member of the 1960s folk rock band, The Mamas & the Papas, which sold 40 million records. Michelle tracked down that teacher for John Paul’s 50th birthday and when the teacher learned of the success his two former students had all he could say was, “Well, shit.” Success Habits Will Put You On A Different Path You know, hearing a story like John Paul’s can be inspirational. It could be that Rocky story or that Rudy story or the story of the underdog who climbs his way up and makes it happen. But as inspir- ing as John Paul’s story is, in a way, it could also make you second- guess your own abilities. You might think, “I’m not what John Paul is, I can’t do what he did! Maybe I don’t have the energy he does or the nerve he does.” If this is your thought, then realize that at this moment, it doesn’t matter where you’ve come from. It only matters where you are and where you want to go. But you’ve got to make the commitment to go there! You could be doing a thousand other things other than reading this book. In many cases, you could be doing busy-work that dulls 8 Millionaire Success Habits your senses and makes you carry on that status quo life that is less than you deserve. Humans are busier now than they’ve ever been in the history of time. I love technology, but with all the advancements to make our lives easier, it’s really just allowed us to go faster. Let’s face it: What it has really done is made everyone flat out busier. With text mes- sages and e-mails buzzing in our pockets, our constant availability for phone calls, and hot new apps and social media on our phones, we are more distracted, more unfocused, and more enmeshed in sweat- ing the small stuff than ever before! And this leads to many of us feeling like we’re sprinting every day but really not getting anywhere. Well, what if I told you it’s true, you are going faster than ever before, but you may be on a treadmill and not a ladder. Fast is only good when you have the right path. Otherwise all you do is get lost quicker. When you have the right success habits, you get to go fast in the right direc- tion because you know the destination in advance. I promise to share these habits in a way that will allow you to digest them and use them with ease. It will soon become apparent how you can quiet all the other “noises” in your life and expose the clear path to your next level. Let me tell you why this time will be different. Like John Paul, you’ll see a growing number of small shifts you can make now that will have a massive impact down the road. When I was in special reading in 7th grade, I was mocked by my own teacher, Ms. Thompson, just as John Paul was. She told me I was stupid regularly, because, unbeknownst to me, I had dyslexia and had trouble wrapping my mind around reading and spelling basics. I just couldn’t figure it out. But there is, of course, a silver lining to those struggles, and even a silver lining to Ms. Thompson’s misguided mo- tivation. In fact, there were a lot of silver linings that came from that situation, but one specifically that will benefit you as a reader. My unique ability emerged from not being able to read and Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 9 comprehend like other kids. Because of this “handicap”, I became a visual and audible learner who knows how to create easy-to-follow recipes for success. And following are some recipes that are much faster than trying to figure something out from scratch or through trial and error. Recipes Save Time Having the right recipes can get you to success quickly. If you wanted to recreate for your friends and family the tongue-tantalizing taste of the spaghetti and meatballs from your favorite Italian restau- rant, there are many ways to go about it. You could go to Italy and study Italian cooking for months. You could go to the Culinary Insti- tute of America in Hyde Park, New York, and study for years to get a degree in Italian cooking. You could try recipe after recipe searching for the secret sauce. Or, maybe you could wait until a Sunday when the chef worked a twelve-hour shift, and as you see him walking wearily to his car, ap- proach him and say, “Hey, Chef, I love your spaghetti and meatballs. I’m not in your business and I’ll never be a competitor, I just want to make your spaghetti and meatballs for my family, and truthfully, I don’t want to waste any time. Could I give you $100 and you give me the recipe?” You can then go home and make the spaghetti and meatballs that taste just as incredible as the chef makes them! And you can do it that very same day because now you have the recipe. This book will give you a different type of recipe. That’s what I do: create recipes that get people the results they want faster. There are probably a million options that exist to help people achieve suc- cess. You’ve probably read personal development books, or maybe even gone to a motivational or inspirational live event. But for some 10 Millionaire Success Habits reason, maybe it didn’t stick at the level you wanted it to; that’s why you’re reading this book. And I don’t take that lightly. Not in the slightest. Here is my promise to you: I have recipes to help you make tiny shifts in your habits that can make you unrecognizable to yourself down the road. We only need tiny shifts in our millionaire success habits today to be completely different in the near future and for years to come. When I decided to write this book, I reflected back on my own life for the past twenty-five years and figured out the habits and the shifts I’ve made that put me where I am today. And that’s what you will get through this book. Small Shifts Yield Big Results This book isn’t just based on my personal journey to success. It’s filled with universal principles that don’t work just for me, they’ll work for anyone. I went on a quest to discover the shifts and the habits used by billionaires, top athletes, business leaders, and some of the world’s thought leaders--people whom I knew through my work. Many of these individuals started at the bottom, in much harder times than we can imagine today. And when I extracted their strategies, and viewed them within the context of my own personal strategies, I identified the tiny shifts that have made the difference in our lives—and will make the biggest impact in your life. That’s what this book has and that’s what this book is going to deliver. It’s going to show you how to replace old habits with new ones that will help you make the leap to the next level of success. I’m grateful you picked up this book and have come even this far; please don’t stop now. Most people buy a book because of the title and let it sit on a shelf, hoping that by some magical power that the knowledge and action steps will transfer into their brain. I know that Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 11 you’re busy and that it takes time and will to read a book. But I urge you to make the time and apply the will to keep reading. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep it compelling and excit- ing, but also to deliver the tactical strategies to take away habits that are not currently serving you and replace them with success habits that can grow your life, wealth, and joy exponentially. Believe me, I know you may feel like there’s no extra time for you to implement these habits into your life. I know you’re not sitting around reading this book right now with five extra hours in your day. But as you’ll see throughout this book, it’s like removing a battery and putting in a new one. I’ve already shared this, but it’s worth repeating: You don’t have to add time to learn new habits, you just have to replace the old habits. To do so, you need to recognize the counterproductive routines you’ve fallen into. Once you acknowledge them, you will see how realistic it is to be able to switch them out. There are a million different paths to success. But with all of those options, I have learned that the fastest way to success involves one option above all others. When success habits become your new routine, your life can change dramatically. You’ve picked up this book for a reason. Maybe you’re a Baby Boomer who has been in a job for thirty or forty years because it was a responsible thing to do, and it’s finally time to reinvent yourself. Maybe years ago someone told you, “Stop being a dreamer and do what’s right. Do what’s secure and safe.” And what you are doing has dampened your enthusiasm for work and life, especially when you know you were meant for so much more. Or maybe the world has made you insecure and you’re staying in a job that has you living day after day just hoping something will change. Maybe you have your own business and it’s not doing so great or it’s time to take it to the next level. Or maybe your back is against the wall and money is tight so you need a new path. 12 Millionaire Success Habits It really doesn’t matter who you are or what your situation is. Whether you’re a college student unsure if the world still has the opportunities that your parents had, or you’re someone ready to tap into your full potential and start something new, this book can help you take control of your life. It’s time to stop being the thermometer of life and to start being the thermostat. Stop hoping a “break” will magically come. You can create your own break, and do it so much faster than you could ever imagine. But before we get into the “how” of it, I want to share with you the “why now”. 1 THE TIME IS RIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS Here’s the thing, when it comes to confidence and taking courageous action, so much of that is going to have to come from what you believe you should do, though being able to hear and distinguish your heart’s call, how your intuition’s speaking to you, that small voice inside that says, “ You know what, pick up the phone and make that call,” or “This is the next action to take.” ~ Marie Forleo, interview with Dean Graziosi This is a volatile, even crazy, time in American history. From diverse politicians whom people feel they can’t trust, to negativity to- ward entrepreneurs who work hard and make a lot of money, societal norms are changing. As I shared earlier, most people will tell you that they feel they are working harder and faster to get things done, but to little effect; they strive to move up the ladder of success, yet for some reason it just isn’t happening. Do you feel like you’re not getting the results you desire or de- serve? Well, besides technology affecting this outcome, another fac- tor exists that you may not even be aware of. The good news is that 14 Millionaire Success Habits you’re not crazy for feeling like all your effort is going for naught. It’s not your fault. Let’s see what really is to blame. Productivity vs. Income In doing my research for this book, one statistic on productivity grabbed my attention the most. If you look at the graph below, you will see that for many years productivity and wages were going up unilaterally on a steep forty- five degree angle. However, as 1973 rolled around things changed. Wages went flat but productivity remained on the same incline. And what does that massive gap between wages and productivity suggest? It means we are getting more done as a society yet income hasn’t reflected this output. So when you feel like you’re working quicker, harder, or faster and using today’s technologies to accomplish more, you are. However, wages are simply not keeping up. That’s why you feel busier than ever and squeezed financially. The unfortunate fact is that the gap continues to widen and we can ignore it and blame others, or we can create the habits that multiply the income and success in our own homes and in our own life. The middle class is taking a serious hit. Some even say we are going towards a two-class society. Now, I know that politicians Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 15 and those pushing their agendas have harped on this point, but I’m “localizing” the conversation—I’m talking about how it affects the economy in your house and within your family. This isn’t a bash on the wealthy. Heck, in this book I am giving you the habits to become wealthy or increase the wealth you already have. But the statistics don’t lie. If you are not prepared and armed with the right tools, the shift that is happening in America could greatly affect you. And when I saw the graph below, I knew I had to share it. Up until 1981, all classes of income were rising at about the same rate. However, in about 1981 a split started to happen. The 1% broke away from the crowd, and since then the top 1% of earners income has gone up 138%, while the bottom 90% of earners income has only gone up 15%. Here is an alarming look at the actual graph. But give me a min- ute to go through the so-called “facts” and then let me explain how they impact you. From one perspective, the gap is getting wider and wider; it seems as though we are evolving into a two-tiered society. The middle class is getting squeezed out and it’s obvious from this graph that this is not just a theory. This is real life. And it’s why you may be feeling the effects we talked about earlier. As scared as that graph makes you feel, imagine this: What if that income gap you saw on the graph did not matter to you? What 16 Millionaire Success Habits if you knew there were ways to become financially bulletproof and for you to create the “class” you desire in your life, in your home, and with your family? New Measurement Of Success. You see, I have to believe statistics. And if they are alarming to you, great! More reason to continue reading and take action in your life. But what is even more alarming is what the term ‘middle class’ means these days. If you and your spouse make $120,000 a year combined, that means you are in the middle class. But should we cheer? What if one of you is working two jobs and the other has to put in extra time during the weekends? Sure you might have a nice car, a beautiful house, vacations, and some other cool stuff. But maybe the kids are in daycare and you rarely get to spend time with them. Maybe you and your spouse haven’t had quality time together in a while because you are just too busy. Maybe you and your spouse are, in fact, less engaged with each other because when you do talk it’s in between e-mails and text messages. Maybe you have your own business and feel overwhelmed every day. These are just a few scenarios of many. But my point is simple: Is this truly the middle class you want to strive for? It’s time to redefine the middle class. More specifically, we need to start talking about the unfulfilled middle and the empowered middle. We need the same type of redefinition for the upper and lower classes. It doesn’t really matter if you believe the middle class is disap- pearing. If you are doing okay financially but have a horrible quality of life, or if you are not living up to your full potential, this is not what life is meant to be about. Having money and no life sucks, and having no money and wishing you could create a life, sucks. And I Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 17 am going to continue to tell you throughout this book that with the right habits, it doesn’t matter where the economy is, what’s happen- ing to the class system in this country, or who the president is. What matters is that you dance to your own beat. Remember, you want to become the thermostat, not the thermometer. In that way, you are in control of your personal economy and lifestyle. You can shape both to fit your requirements in a way that is meaningful and fulfilling. And yes, this goal is more than just a possibility when you believe in and have the right habits. Money Is Not Evil In my years of traveling and meeting thousands of my students first-hand, I’ve discovered that many of them have a limiting be- lief that money is somehow bad. This idea may have arisen from many sources—an anti-materialistic parent, a political ideology, or a religious doctrine. So before we get any further, let’s address this concept and make sure we have some clarity around it. Getting wealthy may not cure every problem, but it sure can cure a lot of them. When you secure the economy in your house, then you can go out to dinner more, you can get someone to pick up your dry cleaning, you can hire someone to clean your house, you can pay off debt, you can buy a new house, take vacations, and give to charity. You can also allow your spouse to retire, enabling another person to fill his/her job and gain the income you no longer need. So whether you want to help change the economy in the world, or you’re simply curious about what the next level of life would look like for you and your family, I believe this is the greatest time in history for you to gain what you desire. Let’s face it, capitalism is getting a bad name; entrepreneurs are sometimes seen as greedy and amoral rather than as crucial to our economic system. It sounds crazy 18 Millionaire Success Habits to those of us who believe in this system, but it’s a belief that has taken hold in certain segments of society. But here’s the real truth: money earned ethically allows you to do incredible things for the world. Just about every single billionaire and super-successful multi- millionaire I know made money to secure a great life, and then they had a massive impact on the world. Most billionaires employ thou- sands of people. They also help family members and parents retire and support their kids as they move on in their lives. They help build churches, deliver water to places that don’t have it, create anonymous charities and help fund them, often without asking for any public recognition. Because, like I wrote, money earned ethically can have incredible by-products—benefits for friends, family, and the world. If you’re reading this book, you have a desire for more in life. Go make yourself wealthy, become secure, and watch how much good you can do for the world. Here is something else to think about. Society seems to be looking down on capitalism, entrepreneurship, and making money. Simultaneously, a lack of money causes more stress in people’s lives than any other one thing in this world. Experts say most divorces are caused by money problems, and that most people on anti-anxiety pills admit it’s because of financial worries. Most people who aren’t connected to their children and their spouse claim it’s because of a lack of money, time, or having jobs they hate. Have you ever stressed or worried about money? Of course you have. “Do I have enough? Am I enough?” Those questions can rattle anyone’s cage. Here’s what one of my mentors taught me: “If you can cut a check for a problem, you don’t have that problem.” Repeat it like a mantra. If you can cut a check for the problem, you don’t have that problem. If you have bills that you’re stressed over, you cut a check, that Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 19 problem goes away. Worried about your kids’ college education? Cut a check, that problem goes away. Worried about your parents getting old and not having enough for retirement? Cut a check and let your parents retire, like I did. Are you worried about your future? Cut a check, that problem goes away. Is your business not doing as well as it could? Cut a check, that problem goes away. Don’t tell me, “Money can’t solve issues.” When you get money out of the way, you’re allowed to be your best self. Think of it this way, if I was sitting next to you right now and squeezed your throat, the only thing you would think about is oxygen. But prior to that, I’m guessing taking a breath of air wasn’t occupying your mind. You just go about every day knowing it’s there. The reason people are stressed about money is because they’re being squeezed by the amount coming in, contrasted with how much they need to live the life they desire. When worrying about money comes off your plate, you have the opportunity to be your best self. By shifting certain habits in your life, abundance and prosperity will flow to you in ways that might seem impossible at this moment. No magic money machine is in this book. There’s no button you’re going to push so your mailbox will be filled with checks. But what you’re going to get are simple recipes ideally suited to the complex times in which we live. They cut through all the confusion of modern life and provide a straight line between where you are now and where you want to be. Have you ever wondered how two people could be brought up in similar environments, work in the same field, have similar jobs, and one of them is making twice as much as the other? Or one person excels at his job, and then leaves and does his own thing, while the other person says, “Oh, but the economy is bad and the President and the Congress and our boss is holding me back.” Two people, two completely different life results. The reason? The person who took 20 Millionaire Success Habits his or her life to the next level had different daily habits than the one who sits and simply wishes and hopes for more. Throughout this book you’re going to see these habits and be excited about each and every one of them. And like I said earlier, it doesn’t matter where you’re coming from. It only matters where you want to go. Don’t Let Go Of The Wheel I want to end this chapter with a story I’ve been sharing for years. Imagine a farmer gets up every single day and he puts his grain on the back of the tractor, and he puts the tractor in gear, and he drives out a mile into the pasture to feed the cows and they all come running. He dumps the feed, and goes back to the barn. If he gets up every single day for ten, fifteen, twenty years and starts the tractor, puts the feed on, puts it in gear, and goes out to the same field, what will eventually happen? He’ll build ruts on the path to the cows. Eventually, he could just get up, throw the grain on the back, start the tractor, put it in gear, and let go of the wheel. That tractor will take him right out to that same spot he’s been going to for years. Apply this story to your life and ask: Have you let go of the wheel? Do you have ruts that keep you doing the same thing every day? It doesn’t necessarily mean your entire life is in a rut, but do you unconsciously do the same things daily expecting a different result? Do you have habits that make every day the same while simultane- ously hoping an outside factor will change it? Maybe you’re waiting for a shift in the economy, a person to intervene on your behalf, fate to present you with the winning lottery ticket? Have you become the thermometer instead of the thermostat? I’m not judging. It happens to us all. Most people have let go Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 21 of the wheel. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. So here’s what’s important about that farmer’s story: To change that farmer’s direc- tion, to change his destination, he doesn’t have to make a dramatic 180-degree turn. It’s not like a New Year’s resolution where you feel the need to change everything about yourself. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow morning and start an entirely new routine –yoga and then meditate and then practice gratitude for an hour. Yes, all those things are worthwhile, but all you have to do tomorrow is put your- self in the position of that farmer and turn that wheel a quarter of an inch. Just a tiny shift. If he got up tomorrow and turned that wheel a quarter of an inch, by the time he got out a mile in the field, he wouldn’t even be able to see his old feeding grounds because he would be so far away. Those ruts would be no more, because he’d be carving a new path, a quarter inch at a time. I know that there are other things you could be doing besides reading this book—watching television, going to a sports event, do- ing chores. But those things are always going to be there. Would you rather change a light bulb or your life? Getting rich isn’t about a magic pill that puts money in your bank account for doing nothing. It’s not about hitting the lotto. It’s not about waiting for someone to do something for you. It’s about changing your habits and your thoughts. And you can start today. As John Paul DeJoria says, “The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people do the things the unsuccessful people don’t want to do.” I would add that success- ful people have a core set of habits that propel them. The average person confuses success with luck. But luck has nothing to do with it. Millionaire success habits do. Now let’s look at where you are in your life and where you want to go. 2 T H E F O U N D AT I O N FOR ALL SUCCESS “One of the challenges we have in modern life is that there are so many options to do so many great things. There are so many things throughout our lives vying for our attention, that if we don’t manage modern life, it will manage us. Part of managing it is just making the choice that this is what I feel, this is important to me, and then really focusing on your gut.” ~ Joe Polish, interview with Dean Graziosi Where the heck are you going? In your life, that is. Many people struggle with this seemingly obvious question. Want to see the evidence of this struggle? During the week, ask five random people what they don’t want out of life. I can all but guarantee they have a sizeable list. It will be as if they metaphorically lick their fingers, clear their throats as if about to make some life-altering announcement, grab their figurative list, and begin to enumerate the items on it: I don’t want to keep the same income and job I have now. I don’t want my spouse to nag me about money and time spent at home. Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 23 I don’t want to keep driving this same crappy car for another year. The “I don’t wants” always flow out easily. So easily, that some- times they seem like they have been rehearsed! It’s as if people are constantly thinking about them. And why is that? Because, they are. So after you ask these people what they don’t want out of life, and they’re ticking off their fifth or sixth item, stop them abruptly, pause for a second, and say, “Okay, I understand what you don’t want out of life. Now let me ask you this, what do you want out of life?” This is where things get interesting. After you ask this question, you’ll see puzzlement, followed by a creased brow. They’re starting to think about what you asked. Their reactions will be the polar oppo- site of the reactions they had when you asked what they don’t want out of life. Many people will respond, “Well, that’s a good question” or “I’ll have to think about that one.” It’s like they’re saying, “I’m in a fast car, I’m driving 100 mph and I know for sure I don’t want to go to Florida, Texas, or Arizona. But I’m not sure where I actually do want to go.” What happens then? You end up nowhere! You end up out of gas and unable to reach your destina- tion because you only know where you don’t want to go. Sounds pretty simple right? Maybe you’re saying, “Oh boy, Dean, is that the grand wisdom you have for me?” Actually, it’s a huge part of it. But you have to wrap your head around what the wisdom really is. Once you under- stand it, you’ll see why this may be the biggest reason you are holding yourself back from breaking through to the next level. So, let me ask you a question: Do you know anyone who fits this description? Someone who has an easier time expressing what they don’t want out of life than expressing what they do want? Maybe a friend, a relative, or a spouse who goes through life this way? Maybe, even someone a little closer to you, that someone you see when you look in the mirror after rolling out of bed each morning? You see, what’s crazy about today’s society is that everybody is racing around 24 Millionaire Success Habits with “Ferrari brains” but no one has her GPS on! And here’s the unfortunate truth for a society like this: It doesn’t matter how fast you can go, it doesn’t matter how much passion you have, and it doesn’t matter how much energy you put into something. If you don’t have a vision and clarity on the destination you want to reach, you’ll simply never get there. The reason I call it a Ferrari brain is because you can buy the most expensive Ferrari in the world and drive as fast as you possibly can, but if don’t know where you’re going, you’ll get nowhere quickly. Would you rather drive a Ferrari off a cliff at 200 miles per hour or drive a Prius to the promised land? In a moment, I’m going to share one of the most important millionaire success habits of them all. It’s a habit that I have shared with my students for the past 20-plus years and a habit I will share until I can’t share anymore! Look, I hope you read this entire book from cover to cover. Getting through this chapter alone will put you ahead of 98% of the world; the same 98% that is out there running on a treadmill wondering why they aren’t getting where they want to go, or driving in a Ferrari with no GPS and wondering why they just drove into a lake. Here are things I hear far too often: “I need more hours in a day, Dean. I wish I could clone myself or find good help. I never have enough time to do my own business or take my business to the next level, or get a promotion, or make more money.” Most people think they need 36 hours in a day, when in reality they are just lacking a crystal clear vision of what they want out of their own personal lives. Did Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg have 36 hours in a day on their path to success? If you feel overwhelmed daily because of a lack of time, distrac- tions, or your own procrastination, I would bet you a shiny nickel that you don’t accurately know where you want to go in life. Believe me, it’s the first question I ask all my students, and most scratch Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 25 their heads as they consider where they want to go. When you have no idea about your direction, you tend to spend your time doing things that are preventing you from making more money, receiving promotions, seeing your family more, or even just enjoying life at an optimal level. And while you’re doing these things that are in no way serving your future, you’re forced to say no to doing the things that could further your business, your income, and your happiness. On the flip side, when you have a clear vision for your life, you’ll stop wasting time on the things not serving your dreams, your goals, or your aspirations. Your actions will have purpose and your hours will be spent achieving those goals. Your procrastination will cease because you’ll know with 100% certainty what you cannot put off until tomorrow. So let’s get your vision dialed in using the habits I’ve learned over time—habits I acquired through my own trial and error, as well as those that I’ve borrowed from other super- successful people. Once you develop a vision for yourself, things will become so clear, it will be as if you got a new pair of glasses and didn’t realize your old prescription was outdated. We all know that setting goals is an extremely important part of success. I believe that Benjamin Franklin was one of the first people ever who documented his goals and knew where he wanted to go in life. But what we are about to go through together in this chapter transcends the typical “goal-setting” process. Sometimes setting goals is hard when so much around you is noisy, busy, and even scary. But together we are first going to get honest about where you are in life right now. Then I am going to give you a secret tool that will al- low you to look into the future to discover your path. Then, we will anchor where you want to go with your true “why”. Then the only thing left is learning how to do it. Fortunately, this entire book is designed to give you the tools, techniques, and, of course, the habits to accomplish the “how”. 26 Millionaire Success Habits Where Are You? Don’t Lie. Before I ask you to take a stock of your life at this moment, let me make a request: Be honest. Here, and throughout the book, I’m going to be asking you some tough questions. Don’t try to answer what you think I want to hear or what makes you feel good. This is what most people do without thinking, and though I understand the reflex, I’d like you to think about the importance of being truthful. It is only once we are honest with ourselves that we can move onward and upwards to our dreams, aspirations, and desires. So with that thought in mind, let’s start with where you are in your life right this second. What does that mean exactly? What I don’t mean is for you to answer “literally”--you’re reading this on your couch or on vacation or in the bathroom. I’m not talking about where you are physically. What I mean is: What situation or situations are you currently expe- riencing in your life? Why are you reading this book? Maybe you’re struggling with the feeling of having untapped potential or you fear you’re living just an “okay life” rather than the life of your dreams. Maybe you’re trying to find something that can secure your finances because your back is against the wall and your mortgage and student loans are kicking your backside. Maybe you just want to start something new to help change your life for the bet- ter. If you can relate to any of these situations, great. Maybe you’re just getting out of college, or going through college, and you are confused about your future. If so: Congratulations for being at this place in your life! Maybe you think it’s time to reinvent yourself completely. Maybe you’re just sick of listening to someone giving you orders at the same mundane job you’ve had for a decade? If so, congrat- ulations! Maybe you’re a business owner who is ready for more profits, ready for that next level, or ready to get the secrets that can catapult you to the next level? If so, I congratulate you for being here as well. Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 27 I suggested these examples to help you think about your own situation, as well as to reassure you that wherever you’re at in your life, you’re not alone. So dig deep and just be honest with yourself. Some- times we pretend, to ourselves and others that everything is okay. We forget what really matters. You must try to break down that “every- thing-is-okay mindset” and write down what truly is in your heart. In fact, stop reading right now and take a yellow pad, or your phone, or your computer, and make a note of, “Where am I in life?” You can go beyond just your finances and write down where you are in the different areas of your life that matter most: love, intimacy, health, your career, and your family. Go ahead and break out these areas on a piece of paper and, next to each one, describe where you are. Don’t write other people’s perceptions of you. Instead, when you look in the mirror and you’re dead honest with yourself, where are you? Before we can create your ideal destination we need to know your starting point. Get Clear On Where You Want to Go Here’s a story that will help you think about where you want to end up—versus the place you don’t. A dear friend took a church group of 18 boys on an adventure trip to Durango, Colorado, where they planned to go whitewater rafting. When they arrived, the guide informed them that the rapids were higher and stronger than they had been in many years. Rapids range on a scale from 1 to 5, and most of the ones they were going to experience were 4’s. Anxious about their safety, the guide made them do practice drills many times during the first mile of the adventure. The guide kept hammering into their heads one idea: the “positive point”. He said, “Boys, when I point, I will always be pointing to where we want to go. I will never point at the downed tree we could get caught on or the jagged rock 28 Millionaire Success Habits that could puncture the raft. If I pointed to what we didn’t want to hit, that’s where all your focus would go, and I assure you we would run right into it. Don’t worry if we get even inches from the rocks, you just focus on the positive point and use all your energy and atten- tion to get us there.” With this positive point to guide them, their minds focused on the solution (steering into a clearing) rather than the obstacle (crashing into the rocks). The chances of them actually getting in trouble decreased substantially. And yes, it’s easier said than done, but once you begin focusing on what you do want rather than on what you don’t want, it becomes a success habit that can completely change the outcome of so many things in your life. When this chapter’s lesson becomes a part of you, you may look at the jagged rocks for a second when something goes wrong, but then you’ll immediately look for that clearing, the “positive point”. And the more you practice this, the more likely you’ll look only at the clearing when life puts you in a spin. For years I’ve taught this truth: When you focus on the outcome rather than the obstacle, your life will never be the same. How do you think John Paul DeJoria and the richest men and women in the world became so successful? By having a clear vision of where they wanted to go and then taking action towards it. Most of us want more out of life, but we aren’t specific enough with our intentions, so we don’t know how to get there. That’s why you may be sidetracked by phone calls and e-mails. It’s why you may feel disor- ganized, stressed, or overwhelmed. It’s why you may have the feel- ing that America is just not the same as it used to be and there is no opportunity for you to go to that next level— completely false beliefs. There’s more opportunity now than ever before! This might be one of the greatest times in history to get ahead of the curve. However, first and foremost, you must have your destination locked in and create the Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 29 map you need to get to that next level of life. Once you find a truly crystal-clear vision, things that once bugged you or slowed you down no longer have any power to stop you from achieving your goal. Look Back From The Future We know that goal-setting is arguably the most important step to success. But let’s be honest here: Sometimes setting goals the traditional way by just looking forward a year, two years, or even five years is hard. We lead crazy, busy lives, and we can become so bogged down in the details of things that we can’t look up and see the future clearly. With your business, your family, your work, and so many other things moving so fast, it’s difficult to focus on the road ahead. You spend so much time just managing what you can see--what is within your reach--that look- ing into the future may be difficult. So here’s how to see past the daily grind. Dan Sullivan, one of my mentors, taught me the following activity, and it was an immediate game-changer for me and for thousands of people I’ve shared it with. Imagine it’s one year from today and when looking back over the past year, you realize that it was the best year of your life. What does that look like to you? What would have had to happen for you to wake up every morning on fire, free of dissatisfaction, and convinced you weren’t wasting your potential? As I’m writing this paragraph, I’m looking back at my future year and getting goose bumps because of what I’m envisioning. I want you to experience that same sense of excitement. Think about what the best year of your life would look like and get emotional, get engaged, get engulfed, and visualize specific details about what made it so amazing. More specifically, ask yourself the following questions when you look back at this year: 30 Millionaire Success Habits How much money are you making? How much money do you have saved away for your family’s security? Who are you taking care of financially? W here do you work every day? Do you have a home office or are you driving to a new location? Are you taking your existing company to the next level? Are you starting your own company? Are you evolving through the ranks at your job? Do you have a better relationship with your boss? Better yet, are you the boss? How does your spouse or your partner look at you in the morn- ing or after a long day? How do your relationships with your kids or family members look now? W hat exactly does your life look like when it’s a year in the future and you look back and it was the best year ever? Feel those feelings with no restrictions and nothing holding you back from these raw emotions. Don’t say, “Well I could be in shape, but I’m too busy to work out,” or “I could start my own company, but I have to stick with this job just to pay the rent.” That’s looking into the future with current obligations holding you back like an anchor. If you have not done so already, I encourage you to stop and write down fast and continuously what the best year of your life would look like. Get specific about each area. As you write, just let it flow. You see, when you know where you are right at this moment, you possess a true starting point. Then, when you take the time to look backwards from the future in order to create where you want to go over the next year, you’ve done more than most people who are stuck in place; they ignore this simple habit and practice. You know who doesn’t ignore it? Successful people! When you know where you want to go, you’ll start having a filter Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 31 that will allow you say no to certain friends, say no to certain obliga- tions, say no to certain opportunities, say no to certain e-mails. You will know deep down that those things are not contributing to your vision. Once you know where you want to go, you can start taking action steps towards the best year of your life, which will evolve into the best 10 years of your life, and ultimately to the best rest of your life. By doing this exercise, you’ll stop feeling overwhelmed. You’ll find more time and your stress will melt away. All the successful people I’ve ever been blessed to meet or become good friends with know where they’re going in life and what their ultimate goals are. They have an inner vision that they live by, and it’s time for you to get yours or take yours to another level. Once you know where you are and you know where you want to go, you’ll also find it easier to acquire other success habits. Identify Your “Why” Let’s move on to the next key component; the piece that makes your vision become your reality. This is the step you must complete to make it real: Understand your “ why”! Here are critical “why” questions you should answer: W hy do you want to take your income from where it is to a “next level”? W hy do you want to start your own business? W hy do you want your company to evolve, or to quit your job, or to rise up through the ranks at your current job? W hy do you want your parents or your spouse to retire? W hy do you want to lose weight, have more intimacy in your life, have more passion in your actions, have more joy on a daily basis, and live a life with more smiles than frowns? 32 Millionaire Success Habits I bet when you think of having all of these things you say to yourself “Hell, yeah!” But why do you really want them? I know for a fact that the reasons you want them are deeper than you think, and I’m going to show you how to dig those reasons out. And when you do, be prepared to be unstoppable. Maybe you’ll shed a few tears as well; I know I did. The issue with most people is that they simply don’t go deep enough into their hearts and souls to find out the truth about why they want what they want. It’s unfortunate that our brains can so powerfully obscure what’s in our hearts and souls. When you ask people what their “why” is--and I have asked thousands of my students--most people will say, “I want more money to have financial freedom” or they will say “I want more money to eliminate debt” or even things like “I want to lose weight so I look good”. And yes, these are all good answers, but they’re not sufficiently deep ones. Without a depth of purpose, you can’t push through your most challenging times. If the struggles of life are pouring down on you like a rainstorm, is “I want a new house” a strong enough motivation that you’ll ignore the storm to get what you want? Is “I want abs” a strong enough “why” to get you to the gym after a long day at work? I doubt it! But when you can attach a much deeper meaning to “why”, it all changes. Let me stress how important this is. Throughout this book I promise to deliver success habits that will wow you and have you eager to put them into play in your life. But if you don’t have these funda- mental habits to start, then nothing else I share with you will matter. So get ready to be honest with yourself on even a deeper level than before, because together we are going to dig out your true purpose. The question we usually don’t ask ourselves is “What is the purpose behind our actions?” Which is crazy, because it’s a question we should be asking ourselves daily. When we can uncover our true “why”, our driving purpose in life, and translate that into our actions, Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 33 we provide the momentum we need to push forward, faster than ever. Why Is Your “Why” So Important? Even if you could teach a group of people how to sell $20.00 bills for ten bucks, some of them would let what’s between their ears stop them from succeeding. Even with something so simple, they could still talk themselves out of success and not even realize that they are self-sabotaging. Because, so many times, fear is the brake to our momentum, slowing us down so much that we eventually come to a complete stop. And it’s for that reason that I’ve always been obsessed with discovering the tools, the strategies, and the recipes that lead to the habits that can help you demolish any obstacles. This way you don’t find yourself on the cusp of greatness and give up and turn around when you are just an inch away from a breakthrough. If you loved the life you are in 100%, you’d go back to where you were and continue living the life you love. But you aren’t one of those people. You realized, or are realizing now, that you can access all the potential you have and that you don’t have to live like others do or live how others tell you to live. You don’t want to look back in 5, 10, 25 years and realize that you lived the same mundane day, over and over again, for most of your life. You don’t want to miss out on invaluable years that you’ll never get back. As you read this book, I hope you get inspired. But if you just get motivated and excited for a week and then fall back into old habits, then I didn’t do my job. Rather, I want these success habits to be like behavioral super glue. I want these lessons to stick with you so long that this could be the last book you ever have to read about success. It is my mission for you to implement these habits and have you look back in a couple of years and realize that the old you, the you of today, is unrecognizable because you’re using each and every ounce 34 Millionaire Success Habits of your full potential. That’s all we’re supposed to do in this world and in this life: Reach for our full potential each and every day. You’re not supposed to be me or Bill Gates or Peyton Manning or Oprah or anybody else. You’re simply supposed to be the best you possible. Ok, I’m done with the pep talk! Now it’s time for you to do my favorite exercise in the world and find your true “why”, the thing that can get you through even the toughest of days and bring even more bright light into the good days. Let’s Go Seven Levels Deep About eight years ago I hired a consultant named Joe Stump to help me get my students and my readers more engaged in what I do and what I teach. Joe was incredible at what he does and it wasn’t cheap to hire him, but I knew it was well worth it for my students and my clients. So I was going to pay him a big fat check to help me out, but at the last minute he said, “Why don’t I consult with you on your questions and your goals in the morning and then you consult with me in the afternoon?” I was totally on board with that and ready to absorb newfound knowledge and wisdom from Joe. I remember the meeting like it was yesterday. Joe Stump, my good buddy, Joe Polish, who had made the introduction, and a few team members and I were sitting at an outside table at my old house in Scottsdale, Arizona. I loved this outdoor space! It had big, hand-carved wood chairs that were so high that the backs on them were two feet over my head. They had soft, yellow cushions and they surrounded a beautiful, large, and long Tuscan table. It was a 75-degree Phoenix afternoon, and the perfect sort of day for an outdoor meeting. These may seem like mundane details, but there’s a reason they remain so vivid in my memory; my life would never be the same after this meeting. Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 35 As we sat around the table I remember Joe Stump said to me, “Why do you want me here Dean? What’s the main reason?” I responded by saying, “Because I know I provide proven strategies for success and wealth to people, but I can’t always get them to take action. I not only want them to get my books and trainings, but I want them to use the information, get engaged, and then stick to it, so more of them can see the results of their actions. I’ve even been doing a weekly wisdom (check it out at www.weeklywisdom.com) for my students for many years now to help them on their journey to success. I do all I can to try to get them engaged, but so many of my students are sucked back into their old routines. They seem to hope something changes, rather than making something change. I just need them to stay in the game long enough to make those little shifts and stay passionate about their goals. And once they get a glimpse, I know there will be no turning back for them.” He looked at me and said, “Wow, Dean, that was powerful. Have you ever done the seven levels deep?” I remember saying, “I don’t know what that is.” He said, “It’s the most profound thing that I’ve ever done and it can massively transform the life of the people you teach and make them stay engaged and motivated longer than ever before. It will actually keep them engaged for life.” I was like, “Okay, amazing! Give it to me, let me have it!” Then Joe said, “Sorry Dean, but no. I want to put you through the full experience first.” I said, “Joe, come on, man. I want to get there quick, I’m a fast learner. I want this seven levels deep thing and I want to give it to my students and my readers ASAP.” Then, even more committed, he said, “Nope, the only way you’re going to get it, is if you go through it.” I finally gave in and said, “fine.” Now, as you read the next few paragraphs, I want you to pic- ture yourself doing this exercise with someone else. Whether with a spouse, a colleague, or a friend, imagine doing this exercise together. 36 Millionaire Success Habits As you’ll see, when Joe asked a question, the answer I gave him would be the basis for the next question, and we would repeat this seven more times. For example, if he asked, “Why do you want me here” and I answered by saying, “I want to learn how to help my stu- dents” he would then ask, “why do you want to help your students?” This exercise is called, Seven Levels Deep, because you move progressively deeper into answers by asking “why” questions seven times—each question is based on the previous answer. I’m not sure why seven is the magical number that gets you where you need to go, but it is always the right number. Joe sat down in front of me with a piece of paper—he was right in my face. He said, “I asked you why you wanted me here earlier and you basically said because you want to get your clients, your readers, and your customers more engaged so you can help change their lives for the better, even more than you have. I think that’s a great answer, Dean. Very noble! Now let me ask you this, WHY is it important to you to get more of your students engaged, to understand more, to overcome obstacles, to take action, and to see that next level of life?” I remember thinking about it for a second and answering, “Because so many people get stuck in the routine of mediocrity, and I know I’m giving them good strategies, but not all are using them. I don’t want to be the sales or infomercial guy who just sold them a book, I want to be the person who opened their eyes to a new way of life by using what I’ve discovered. And at the end of the day, I want to create a legacy that my family can be proud of.” Joe responded, “That’s great stuff. Now, I first asked you why you hired me. You then said it was to help your students get more engaged. Then when asked why that was important, you basically said you want to leave a legacy for your family. Both are great reasons and great answers. So, Dean, why is it important for you to create a legacy?” I remember thinking for a second and saying, “Because, in Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 37 this business, a lot of people write crap and teach crap and I want to set a new standard. I want to set a standard so high that others in the industry will either step up or step out. And, don’t get me wrong, I love the great people in this industry. Some of my dearest friends and teachers like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Brendon Burchard, David Bach, and many others have had a huge positive impact on my life and millions of others through this type of indus- try. I wouldn’t be the man I am without those and other incredible influences. But we all know there’s also a ton of crap out there. And I want those people to either raise their standards or get out.” As I was sharing this, I wasn’t even sure where the answers were coming from, but I was digging deeper and deeper into my “why”. Then he said to me, “Dean, that’s wonderful. I asked you why you hired me and you said to get deeper and to help your students more. I asked you why that was important and you said you want to create a legacy that you and your family can be proud of. Then I asked you why that was important and you said you want to have the standards raised in this industry. All those are great answers.” What I didn’t realize at that time was that while yes, these were all good and true answers, they came from my head. And as he asked me the same question a couple more times I continued to give him answers from my head. They were all well thought out, but I wasn’t even close to the real “why”. When there were three levels left to go, he said, “Why is that important?” to my previous and now forgotten answer. What came out of my mouth next shocked even me. I said, “I never want to go backwards”, and for some reason I got emotional. With hindsight, I realized the most important thing that happens when you ask yourself “why” 7 times is that you switch from answers coming from your head to pulling the answers from your heart and soul. My heart was speaking and I could feel it. I remember I started 38 Millionaire Success Habits sitting differently, speaking with a different tone, because physically my body started to feel different. I was working hard to stop the tears from streaming out of my eyes because my staff was watching. Then Joe, who I had just met for the first time, was staring directly into my eyes, only a foot away. He asked, “Why is it important that you don’t want to go backwards?” And here’s what I meant, and here’s what my heart was trying to express. I know what it’s like to be broke and grow up with no money. I know what it’s like to wear hand-me-downs. I know what it’s like not having food in the refrigerator. I know what it’s like to be basically homeless as a kid because I experienced it with my dad. I remember when I was 11 years old, I moved in with my dad and we literally lived and slept in a small bathroom inside a house my Dad was trying to fix up. Because there was no heat anywhere, and the bathroom was the smallest room to keep warm, that’s where we slept. And growing up in upstate New York, we had some brutal winters. We had an electric heater and took the doorknob out of the bathroom door and put the cord through the hole. We plugged in the electric heater and dragged in a small mattress and slept on that together. I’d get a ride to school in a car that had no heat and with doors tied on by rope. I remember making my dad drop me off down the street so no one would see just how poor I was. I was in a steady state of feeling insecure and feeling inadequate and that was a place to which I never wanted to return. This is my story, and I’m not suggesting that you and others haven’t had it worse. But I remember my mom struggling before I helped her retire. I remember my dad always struggling before I helped him retire. I remember what it felt like not to be able to help other people or even myself. And I know for a fact that I don’t ever want to go backwards to where I was as a kid. After I explained all of this, Joe could see that I was getting emo- tional. And at that time I was thinking to myself, “Well, I found my Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 39 why!” But there were two more questions left for me to answer. Joe looked at me and asked, “Dean, why don’t you want to go backwards?” At that point, I couldn’t hold the tears back; they were streaming down my face. The first things that came to my heart were my children. I said, “I think I know it, I think I know my “why.” I want to give my kids the choices and the options that I never had when I was a kid.” I want my daughter and my son to be able to choose where they want to go in life and have the ability to become their best selves. I want them to have lives without the worry of money choking them. I want them to know that they’re financially secure, so if they want to be teachers, or astronauts, or be in rock bands, or yoga teachers, or anything else, they can. I want them to have the freedom I never felt like I had growing up. I’m not saying I want to raise two entitled brats. I work very hard to make sure that never happens. I’m talking about choices to be who they want to be, not spoiling them so they don’t have to make any choices at all. And the more I thought about it, the more emotional I got. I said to Joe, “I know my “why!” It’s my children.” But then he said to me “I bet you started working really hard before you had children, didn’t you Dean?” And he was right, and I had one more “why” left to answer. “Dean,” he said, “thank you for sharing this, but I have to ask you, why is it important that your children have choices?” And my true “why” emerged like a miracle; it just flew out of my mouth. I said, “Because I want to be in control.” Before that moment, I’d never thought or talked about wanting to be in control. And I’d never felt that surge of passion run through me to my core. I realized at that very moment what my whole life was about. I finally realized why I wanted to go to the next level, why I got into busi- ness, why I started cutting firewood and fixing wrecked cars when I was a teenager, why I knocked on a million doors and did my first real estate deal before I was 20. It all made sense now. It was all because I wanted to 40 Millionaire Success Habits be in control. Not a control freak, but, rather, in control. You see, my parents were married nine times between them. In fact, as I write this book, my dad is engaged to a great lady and it will soon be an even 10. Also, growing up I moved a lot. I moved 20 times by the time I was 19 years old. Over the years of my childhood, I would have new stepbrothers, stepsisters, and step-grandparents that I loved, and then I’d be uprooted and have to move without any say in the matter. I always felt totally out of control. We would find an apartment I loved, couldn’t pay the rent, and would get evicted. I’d move into my grandma’s house and love it, and then within the year I would have to move and go someplace else with a new dad or a new mom and with new siblings that in some cases hated me for intrud- ing. I would move to a new school, find new friends, and then we’d pick up and have to relocate again. It was an epiphany, this seventh “why.” I don’t want anybody to tell me how to dress, where to live, or even how to raise my kids. I don’t want anybody to tell me where I can eat, how I can function, what I can do with my time, or how much money I can make. I want to be in control so I can make the decisions that empower me, bring me joy, and make me feel alive! And at that very moment, I realized I didn’t want anybody to take that away from me in any area of my life. I had finally found my true “why”, and my mission had never seemed clearer. What’s Your Deeper “Why”? What about you? Would you like to have total control of your life and make the choices you want? Of course you would, but that’s my story and my “why.” I don’t know what yours is yet—and you probably don’t either--but I assure you that you need to find it. When you have a tough day, when things don’t go your way, when your new business fails, when things go wrong in your relationship, Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 41 when your kids disappoint you, what pushes you to keep moving for- ward? Financial freedom? That’s not deep enough. You need to find the root of your “why.” Why are you reading this book? Why do you want to make more money? Why do you want wealth to come into your life? There is a much deeper level of purpose that is driving you. And when you find it, you discover the driving force that will never allow you to get off track. Listen, I feel blessed for the life, the security, and the income I have right now. But do you think I don’t have tough days? I absolutely do! We all do, no matter our financial level of life. And at the end of the day, my “why” guides and pushes me through hard times. When I have a tough day or even think of quitting, I remember my “whys” and know there is no way I could possibly give up. Because I know I am never going backwards, I know I’m giving my kids that security they deserve, and I know I’m always going to be in control of my life. This seven levels deep “why” exercise is the foundation to all suc- cess and possibly the most important millionaire success habit you can develop. This is an exercise you should do four times annually. And once you know your “why,” you will use it in 100 different ways to motivate your actions—it will become one of your daily success habits. Anchoring The Process At one point in my life, I was on stage speaking at an event every month, year after year. During that time, I did the seven levels deep exercise pretty much every time I was on stage. I would randomly pick someone out of the audience to come up and participate. I remember each and every person’s story to this day, but there’s one that comes to mind at this moment and touches my heart. This tall, awesome dude with dreadlocks who seemed nearly twice my size came up on stage, gave me a hug, and nearly lifted me off my feet! 42 Millionaire Success Habits So I sat him down and said, “Hey man, glad to have you up here” as I handed him the microphone. The audience was just sitting, staring, waiting for what was going to happen next. I proceeded to ask him, “Why are you here? Why did you spend money to come to an event like this and learn how to take your life to the next level?” I remember his first answer was typical. It was “financial freedom” or a version of that. I, of course, proceeded to ask him why financial freedom was important to him. And his second answer was really deep and freaking awesome: “Dean, in my neighborhood a lot of dads just aren’t there. They’re either in jail or they abandoned their kids.” Then he said, “I’m working to create a way to give those kids a fatherly influ- ence.” Wow, could there be a better “why?” It was an amazing “why” and an amazing driving factor. I mean, how could he not be empowered and inspired. He was at that event to get juiced up, ready to obtain the tools to go faster, and make more money to turn that dream into reality. But from my experience I knew I could get deeper, so I asked him why that was important to him. He then gave another good answer. Then I asked him why again and again and all of his answers were great, but they were coming from his head. Then we got to the last couple of questions and I watched as his whole body changed. His smile disappeared, his lips started to quiver and his hands started to shake. This is when he began to speak truth from his heart. He looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “Dean, I can’t believe I’m sharing this with a whole audience. But my mom died a few years ago, and when she died I was a drug addict. I feel like I completely let her down as a son. She was a good mom who worked her butt off to raise a good boy but when she died she didn’t see that. And after she passed, I quit do- ing drugs, I got my head on straight and I am on this mission.” He then said, “I’m going to show my mother in heaven that she raised one awesome son who’s going to make a positive impact on the world.” The audience members were either in tears or at a loss for Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 43 words or jumping up and clapping with wild enthusiasm. He offi- cially found his “why!” And what a “why” that was! That’s a purpose that will carry him through the toughest days life could ever throw at him. This man has a true “why.” Not only does he know where he is, and where he wants to go, he knows why he wants it. When you attach a “why” to your actions, you get your emotions involved and you anchor your goals to your life to a point where they become a part of your soul, a part of your heart, and not just another well-intentioned thought. Imagine the conversation he has with himself when he has a tough day. It doesn’t sound like, “I need to keep working because I want to be a good role model for people.” And while yes, that is a good “why”, it is not powerful enough to push him through the most challenging of days. What his conversation sounds like is, “I need to get myself into that office and work my tail off be- cause I want to show my beautiful mother up in heaven the amazing son she raised down here on earth!” It’s an emotionally potent idea, isn’t it? Consider the effect that man’s “why” has had on his success. And then think about how much your “why” will affect your life. Now It’s Your Turn I think it’s crucial that you go through this process with someone else, though it can work if you do it on your own, it’s much more effective when you have a partner. Because you’re familiar with the exercise, you go first—lead them through the seven “whys.” Then take your turn. Find a partner who will take the exercise seriously and is willing to write down what you share. Start the exercise by simply asking why you are reading a book like Millionaire Success Habits. The initial question gets the party started. Then proceed to ask the seven “why” questions in the sequence I’ve suggested, with the previous answer restated each time. Remember, you’re going to have to ask or 44 Millionaire Success Habits be asked the question seven times. It’s not five, it’s not nine, it’s seven times. I’ve been doing this for years now and it works every single time. When I share the exercise with an audience, half the room is crying by the end because they realize with crystal clarity why they’re sitting in the audience—what the deeper reasons are for attending my presentation. When you finish the exercise, you will realize why you’re reading this book, why you desire more, and why you want to unlock your true potential. To make this exercise easier to complete and to gain more clarity on how it works, go to www.thebetterlife.com right now and grab the 7 levels exercise sheet by clicking the “Book Resources” tab. Also, I have filled out and completed my own 7 levels exercise sheet below to give you an even better snapshot of how this exercise will play out when you complete it! Note the natural evolution, especially the evolution from head-thinking to heart and soul sharing. Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 45 Now that you’ve reached this point, you possess one of the most important success habits needed to create true abundance and prosperity. When you know where you are, where you want to go, and why you want it, there is only one thing left: How do you get there? Well, great news! I’ve spent the last year of my life crafting the pieces of this book to be your HOW, and deliver the roadmap to your next level of life. As part of that HOW, you should be aware that there is a hidden villain inside of you and he’s working against your goals. This vil- lain is made of self-doubt and inner resistance that’s been holding you back for your entire life. I’m going to show you how this villain was created by the outside world, how to identify it, and then how to ultimately kill it, allowing an inner hero to awaken. It will all make sense soon, so don’t stop now. 3 THE VILLAIN WITHIN “Who are the people that when we’re around them we feel more alive? Who are the people that make us feel more energized, more fulfilled, and more confident? These are the people we must gravi- tate towards for progression. But you see, the truth is that there are also toxic people in our lives working against our progression. Imagine you’re on a train, and in your compartment is your family and your close friends. Suddenly you look to your right and you find that a handful of toxic people, people who are draining your motivation and your drive have somehow found themselves in your compartment. What can you do now? There is only one thing you can do, and that is to politely let them off at the next station. I believe the people in our lives who are negative, competitive, jeal- ous, etc. can really drain our energy and our confidence.” ~Arianna Huffington, interview with Dean Graziosi So who exactly is the villain within? Well, the villain within can disguise itself as many different things, in many people’s lives. But no matter what form it takes, we all have it somewhere inside. To Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 47 most of us, it’s that self-doubt, that inner voice saying “you can’t do this” or “what makes you think you deserve that?” And in so many cases it holds you back from taking the proper actions to move your life in a better direction. It’s that inner resistance that in the past talked you out of pursuing the things that made your heart smile and helped you reach that next level of life. I call it a villain because it’s sneaky and up to no good. It hides in the back of your mind, and you don’t even realize it exists. And the worst part about this inner villain is that, in most cases, external factors in your life that seemed innocuous created this villain. We’ll address these factors soon. You may not realize it, but this villain has created a glass ceiling—an artificial limit on what you can achieve and who you can be. And what’s even worse, once that villain is inside of you, it is anchored down by multiple internal factors that prevent its escape. You may sometimes find yourself wondering why you’re working faster, your life is going by quicker, and you’re ulti- mately working harder than ever before, but you haven’t found that next level of life. And the simple explanation is: You have a villain working against you and you don’t even know it. The good news: We’re going to expose it once and for all. Which Wolf Are You Feeding? I once heard a fable about a Navajo woman who told her grand- son a story about how we all have two wolves that live inside of us, constantly battling one another. It starts with the grandmother sitting her grandson down and explaining to him that “One of the wolves is jealous, has envy in his soul, is malicious, and has a scarcity mindset. To that wolf, everything in the world is wrong and unpleas- ant. He believes that people are mostly bad, things are no good, and that the world is a cold place. As you can imagine, nothing good ever 48 Millionaire Success Habits happens for that wolf because it is a negative, pessimistic animal, always seeing things as glass-half-empty.” Then the woman says to her grandson, “But you also have a different, powerful wolf that lives inside of you. This wolf has empathy, love, compassion, positiv- ity, and knows it can accomplish anything it puts its heart and soul into. This wolf sees the bright side of everything and constantly sees things glass-half-full. And grandson, this wolf, the powerful wolf, can take you to so many amazing places.” Then the grandson looks at his grandmother and says, “Well, which wolf wins the battle, grandma?” She replies, “The one you feed, grandson. The one you feed.” I love this story because it is so applicable to all of our lives. We all have the bad wolf, or the villain, as I call it, living inside of us, but we also have this hero just waiting to be released. Here, I’ll help you learn how to expose the villain hiding inside you, discover how it got there, and proceed to destroy it. Because in so many cases, once it’s gone, you can’t even begin to imagine how much more you will be able to accomplish in your professional and personal life. The Villain Is A Parasite A few years back, a man went to a third world country in South America to volunteer for a worthy cause, helping those in need. After his emotional journey, he arrived back in the States filled with gratitude and ready to kick his own life into high gear. But shortly after the trip he started feeling sluggish and a bit weak and sick. He was in his 50’s and he simply assumed the cause was aging, and it was something he just needed to start accepting. Over the next few weeks he stopped doing certain activities that he loved. He stopped playing with his recreational basketball team and being active in the community, and he started to try to process the new thoughts of an aging man. Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 49 What he didn’t realize is that when he was in the jungles of South America helping out families in need, he was infected with a dangerous parasite. And from that moment on, this parasite was living inside of him, feeding off of him. Every minute of every day it was robbing him of nutrients, sapping his energy, and diminish- ing his quality of life. He simply had no idea something was living inside of him, holding him back from his full potential. However, he eventually went to the doctor, found out about the parasite, got the right medicine, and the parasite was gone for good. This man ap- preciated life once again. In fact, he appreciated it even more so after this experience. With a new perspective on life, he felt like he could accomplish anything! Why do I tell you this story? Because the villain that I spoke of earlier in the chapter is, to all intents and purposes, a parasite that is living inside of you. No, it’s not robbing you of your nutrients or feeding off of your body, but it’s taking away from the quality of life you deserve! It’s decreasing your confidence, your joy, your inspira- tion, and ultimately your passion for life. So I’m going to show you how it was created and how to destroy it, plain and simple! This chapter will be like going to the doctor and getting medication to destroy the self-doubt and the pessimistic voice that has made you miss opportunities. If we don’t flush this villain from your system immediately, it will continue to do damage. And even worse, it will continue to erode your confidence. And we all know that reduced confidence hampers your ability to move in a better direction. When was the last time you made a great move, made a sale, had a great date, got a promotion, or started something new when your confidence was in the toilet? Probably never. Think about your best days, best sales, and best dates; they happened when your confidence was high and all things seemed possible! By identifying the toxicity living inside of you, then 50 Millionaire Success Habits flushing it, you will restore your confidence. And this is just the start. As I explain to you how this villain was created and sustained, I’m also going to give you strategies that will show you how to kill it off, piece by piece. So let’s start identifying it right now and allow you to discover its origins. The Villain Grows Out Of Your Past Let’s start with one of the external factors that feed this suc- cess-robbing parasite: watching, listening to, and reading the news. Think about it: We’ve grown up as a generation that gets nothing but negative news pounded into our minds. Every second of every day our brain is bombarded with the news of wars, scarcity, economic crisis, disasters, terrorist attacks, murders, sicknesses, and suffering. Did you know that in the 1950’s Time Magazine covers were about 90% positive in tone and content? Then, through the years, Time Magazine realized that the more negative their stories, the more copies they would sell. In fact, they realized that nega- tive superlatives work 30% better at snaring readers’ attention than positive ones. And not just that, but the average click-through rates on headlines with negative superlatives are a staggering 63% higher than that of their positive counterparts. This emphasis on the nega- tive isn’t just an editorial decision. The negative content reflects the increasing number of anxiety-producing global events such as the rise of terrorism, ecological disasters, and many other crises and calami- ties. All this contributes to our perception that things are getting worse. Now is Time Magazine the only one who has gone through this transformation and is delivering negative news? Of course not. Time Magazine has to make a profit, as does every other news outlet in the world. If they decide to focus only on the positive, they won’t Go to www.TheBetterLife.com and take the challenge 51 generate the readership and revenue they require. And the media has developed a disaster reflex—whether it’s a devastating hurricane or an urban riot, they provide saturation coverage, creating the impres- sion that the end of the world is near. As a cynical television news producer once said, “If it bleeds, it leads.” As a result, the majority of the daily data we digest is completely negative. It’s difficult to focus on positive thoughts and that next level of success when at every turn we are receiving information about a world that seems doomed. The news can affect you in such a negative way that, even if you are someone who has an “I’m go- ing to be the thermostat of life” mentality, you can soon become the thermometer. The negativity is overpowering the positive-thinking part of our brains. According to research done by UCLA, the aver- age human being has around 70,000 thoughts per day. And out of those thoughts 80% of them are negative, with the majority of those thoughts carrying over to the next day. Based on everything I’ve read and observed, digesting negative news is a leading cause of this frightening statistic. And I understand that throughout history there have always been wars, economic hurdles, and natural disasters. But never before has all this information been so readily available. We get it from our apps, our phones, our social media accounts, and TV at an alarming rate. And

Millionaire Success Habits - PDF

Document Details

Tags

Related

Summary

Full Transcript

Upgrade to continue