FNES 147 Week 13 Divorce and Remarriage PDF

This Week’s Roadmap 1. Download the PPT for this week and review the slides 2. As you review the slides, take notes. 3. After you have reviewed the slides, complete the three (3) learning exercises for this week: 1. Learning Exercise 1: Warm Up – The Case for Divorce 2. Learning Exercise 2...

This Week’s Roadmap 1. Download the PPT for this week and review the slides 2. As you review the slides, take notes. 3. After you have reviewed the slides, complete the three (3) learning exercises for this week: 1. Learning Exercise 1: Warm Up – The Case for Divorce 2. Learning Exercise 2: Bohannon’s Six Stations 3. Learning Exercise 3: Evil Step Mother 4. Be sure to follow instructions carefully to receive full credit. 5. All assignments are due by Friday at 11:59 PM Divorce and Remarriage FNES 147 Melissa Lovitz, PhD December 2, 2024 Updates and Reminders ► Class Citizenship Evaluation #2 Due 12/2@11:59 PM ► Final Exam Study Guide BY 12/9 ► Final Exam Review IN CLASS on 12/9 – Not Posted on Brightspace  Final Exam Info Date: 12/16/2024, Monday Time: 1:45 – 3:45 PM Location: Campbell 134 Format: Multiple Choice and Short Answer Questions What to Bring: Must bring #2 Pencil & Student ID  Warm Up: Learning Exercise 1 Divorce – Trends & Stats Overview of Bohannon’s Six Stations of Divorce Learning Exercise 2 Ahron’s Categorization of Former Spouse Relationships Remarriage & Step-Families Learning Exercise 3  Warm Up – The Case for Divorce Are there some cases where divorce is a better outcome than remaining married? LEARNING EXERICSE 1: CLICK HERE TO SHARE YOUR T HOUGHTS! Divorce Statistics in the U.S. ► Divorce Rate: The commonly cited statistic is that about 40-50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. ► Declining Rates: The divorce rate has been steadily declining in recent years, particularly among younger generations. ► Age and Divorce: People who marry at a younger age are more likely to get divorced. ► First Marriages: Around 41% of first marriages end in divorce within the first 10 years. Divorce Rates In 2021, there were an estimated 900,000 divorces in the United States. The crude divorce rate tells us that there are 2.8 divorces for every 1,000 people in the United States. The refined divorce rate tells us that there are 13 divorces for every 1,000 married couples in the United States. The divorce-marriage ratio tells us that there is 1 divorce for every 2.3 marriages in a single year in the country, which means that there are 44 percent as many divorces as marriages per year. Odds of Divorce What people want to know is the odds that a couple marrying today will divorce. We estimate this by looking at the marital history of older people today. The odds of divorce after 50 years was about 40 percent for people married in the 1950s, but the odds of divorce after only 30 years was about 46 percent for people married in the 1970s. Estimates based on current divorce rates are that about 43 percent of today’s marriages will end in divorce, which reflects a decline in the crude divorce rates since 1980. Crude Divorce Rate, 1860–2021 The Divorce Revolution Divorce rates between 1960 and 1980 rose dramatically. The liberalization of family law allowed “no-fault” divorces, which allowed couples to get a legal divorce without accusations of wrongdoing, infidelity, abuse, or desertion. The divorce rate was rising rapidly before the change in the law took place, but changes in the law did produce short-term rate spikes followed by a more moderate upward trend. Divorce being more common affected decisions about marriage and parenthood. Cohabitation Cohabiting couples break up more than married couples. About 70 percent of marriages begin with cohabitation before the marriage. Living together first may help couples make more informed decisions and get stronger marriages; or living together informally may undermine their sense of commitment and make divorce more likely. Couples who live together first are more likely to divorce, but we cannot say whether cohabitation is causing that outcome. Age in the Matching Process People who are older when they first marry are less likely to divorce, which helps to explain the falling divorce rates. People who marry before age 20 are more than twice as likely as people who marry after age 25 to divorce within the first 10 years. Older people may be making more sensible decisions about marriage. Older people may also be more mature emotionally, more financially secure, and better educated. Relationship Dynamics Couples are more likely to divorce when they are unhappy in their marriages, spend less time with each other, disagree frequently, and have heated arguments. These problematic relationship dynamics have many sources, and other factors can work against these risk factors Couples with children are less likely to divorce even though married people with young children are less happy in their marriages. Infertility problems, children’s health disabilities, and the presence of stepchildren all increase the likelihood of divorce. Employment and Independence The effect of women’s employment on divorce is complex. The independence effect of women’s marriage on divorce points to the reality that when people have the economic means to survive on their own, they are more likely to leave unhappy marriages. But the income effect on divorce points to ways that women’s economic independence can also strengthen marriages because the additional income serves as a source of stability and reduces stress. Women’s employment rates are not responsible for increased divorce rates. The Recession and the Pandemic The recession of the late 2000s and the COVID-19 pandemic served to both cause and prevent divorces. Increased stress at home, job loss, and home loss led to more divorces. At the same time, the high cost of divorce kept couples together. The divorce rates continued to fall during and after the recession and the pandemic. Divorce and Separation as a Process Divorce as a process, not an event Factors surrounding process often key to outcomes Transitions and Adjustments Most problems/issues/challenges Adults must also adjust – identity Some Theoretical Perspectives about Divorce ► Family Systems Theory ► Divorce disrupts the family system; remarriage creates a new one ► Interdependence ► Resilience Models ► Families my experience divorce as a crisis but have opportunities for growth and adaptation ► How families cope with and manage adversity matters ► Navigating resources ► Attachment Theory ► Divorce can alter attachment patterns for children and adults ► Possibly predisposed from early attachment relationships  Terms Parental Child Role assumed by a child – responsibility for parenting other children Co-Parenting End spousal role – keep parental role – sharing parental responsibilities Boundary Ambiguity Confusion about who is in the family and who is not  Stages of Divorce Individual cognition First realizing something is wrong – Mental separation Not confronting partner Pros and cons Some stay together rather than risk separating Family metacognition Announced to family Greatest distress and disruption – why? Family system changes  Stages of Divorce Separation One moves out – 90% fathers Boundary ambiguity – who’s in? Who’s out? Economic and legal divorce happen here Family reorganization Co-parenting Ideal: respect, understanding, avoiding conflict New boundaries Negotiation of custody  The Legal Process of Divorce Filing for Divorce: One spouse files a petition in family court. Grounds for Divorce: Can be based on no- fault (irreconcilable differences) or fault (adultery, abuse, etc.). Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce: In contested divorce, spouses disagree on issues like property division; in uncontested, they agree. Mediation: A non-court process where a neutral mediator helps the couple resolve issues. Divorce Decree: Final judgment that officially ends the marriage.  Bohannon’s Six Stations Emotional divorce Legal divorce Economic divorce Co-Parental divorce Community divorce Psychic divorce  Emotional Withholding bonding and communication Self-esteem – not reinforce, undermine Feel profoundly misunderstood Divorce counseling Use crisis as opportunity Often beings long before legal actions Loss of intimacy and affection Includes feelings of betrayal, anger, or relief Grieving relationship's end  Legal Filing legal documents to end the marriage Dissolution by state in court Purpose? Represents the official “end” but not the complete process Lawyers work for rights rather than balance Divorce mediation Negotiate terms: custody, support, property, etc.  Legal continued No-fault divorce California 1970 – now all states Proof? No longer “guilty” party  Economic Allocating assets, debts, and financial support (e.g., alimony, child support) Establishing financial independence  Co-Parental Decisions regarding children Custody arrangements and visitation Co-parenting strategies Ensuring children’s needs are prioritized  Community Kin no more? Change in social networks can be painful & confusing Extended family and children – grandparents, etc. In-laws Most commonly retained relationship? Grandmother and former daughter-in-law Friends no more? Couple friends Time schedules  Psychic Psychological autonomy Distance from loved/hated aspects of former spouse To be successful… Period of mourning: shock/denial, anger/depression, responsibility and forgiveness New social identity – think Symbolic Interactionism  Learning Exercise 2 How does understanding the six stations inform or change your thoughts about divorce? How are the six stations interconnected? Does one station have more of a ripple effect on others? What additional resources and supports might families need during this process that aren’t included in the six stations? Ahron’s Categorization of Former Spouse Relationships Perfect Pals Maintain a friendship Cooperative Colleagues Maintain cooperative relationship “for the children” flexible and can compromise  Ahron’s Categorization of Former Spouse Relationships Angry Associates Hostile, let old marital issues contaminate parenting, children get caught in the middle Fiery Foes No such thing as co-parenting, other parent is the enemy Dissolved Duos Discontinue contact with each other  Healthy Divorce for Children 80% of children do not have long term serious problems following divorce Low number of transitions and stressors following divorce No Triangulation No Emotional Reactivity Children can express feelings Children can accept the breakup Children’s Well-Being Divorce may negatively affect children’s school performance, happiness, mental health, and relationships with parents. Physical health is not harmed by family instability. Older children may be aware of the “uncoupling process” before a divorce and experience a sense of relief after the divorce. Younger children may not be seriously affected until after they move into a different household without a parent. Children’s Experience of Divorce Stressful aspects of the divorce process that can increase negative outcomes include less parenting time and energy, losing contact with a parent, witnessing conflict, residential moves and other transitions, and economic hardship. Protective factors that help prevent negative effects include good coping skills, economic and educational resources, continued involvement of both parents, and diminished conflict. Post-divorce outcomes include short-term emotional, behavioral, or school problems, permanent emotional changes, and new roles and identities. Changing Law: Who Gets the Kids? Most children with divorced parents live with their mothers. This is an important sociological issue because: the care and nurturing of children is an important part of gender inequality. disputes related to custody arrangements are at the center of many of the negative consequences of divorce for children and adults. maintaining good relationships between separated parents and children can be good for the parents and the children. Changing Law: Who Gets the Kids? Many divorces today result in joint custody agreements, where children live alternately with both parents and the parents share the costs and responsibilities of child-rearing. Many states have a legal “presumption” that joint custody is the best outcome. The linking of child support with custody and visitation rights has made it difficult for poor fathers to maintain relationships with their children and former partners. Bitter divorces are likely to generate bitter custody disputes, which cause children’s relationships with their parents to suffer.  Remarriage/ Repartnering Terms, forms, demographics, tips for success How does this complicate our idea of what a family “looks like”? Important note: Difficult to identify stepchildren in the data. Can’t know if children were born in the remarried family, or born before the remarried family Remarriage and Stepfamilies terms ► Remarriage ► A family in which one or both spouses have been married previously ► Repartnering ► Were never married ► Step family/Blended family ► A family in which one or both partners bring children into the household – cohabiting/married ► Step Parent - adult whose partner has at least one child from previous relationship ► Experienced differently ► Stepfather/stepmother Remarriage and Stepfamilies terms ► Step-siblings ► Not genetically related at all; do not share bio/genetic parent ► half-siblings ► Share/have one bio/genetic parent in common ► Complex stepfamily ► When both partners have children from previous relationships ► Simple stepfamily ► Only one adult is stepparent and other adult is origin parent ► Most common (80% of residential stepfamilies) – mother/stepfather ► Only about 8% of stepmothers live full time Demographics ► Research measures things differently, so statistics vary ► Men remarry at higher rates ► For divorced women the likelihood of remarriage declines with age ► Remarriage is most common in women under age 25 at the time of their divorce ► Women who are educated and employed are less likely to remarry ► Remarriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages Who Remarries? Compared with the rest of the world, the United States has both a high divorce rate and a high remarriage rate. The baby boomer generation (ages 55 to 64) has led the growth of remarriage and divorce. Remarriage is less common after widowhood than after divorce. Remarriage is more common for men than for women, especially women with children. Race and education also affect the remarriage rate. Divorce Family Life Cycle ► Next few stages include: ► Entering New Relationship ► Planning new Marriage and Family: new roles, boundaries, identity, and maintenance tasks, child loyalty to biological parents, extended family members ► Remarriage and Reconstruction of Family Unique Characteristics of Stepfamilies/Blended families ► Formed following loss / change ► All members come with histories ► Come together at different phases ► Parent-Child relationships precede couple ► Children have parent elsewhere Unique Characteristics of Stepfamilies/Blended families ► Children hold membership in two households-two sets of rules and norms ► Models for stepparents poorly defined ► Little to no legal relationships ► Step-relationships are new and untested ► Have at least one extra set of grandparents The Stepfamily/Blended Family System ► Boundaries – confusion, ambiguity, and permeability ► Physical ► Psychological ► Subsystems – many more to consider ► Triangulation-new family and extended family ► Loyalty Issues ► Alliances and Coalitions Dynamics of Successful Stepfamilies Dynamics of Successful Stepfamilies/Blended families ► Expectations are realistic ► Losses can be mourned ► Strong couple relationship ► Satisfactory step-relationships have formed ► Satisfactory rituals are established ► Separate households cooperate Expectations are realistic ► Do not accept common myths ► Negative connection to “step” as early as 1400s (345 versions of Cinderella!) ► Want instant love/connection/adjustment ► Try to emulate family of origin/first married families ► Recognize love cannot be forced ► Create their own roles that work ► Family will be different from first married family – that’s ok! ► Attempt to duplicate can lead to ► Tension – “replace” original parents ► Guilt – if they don’t feel love immediately ► Anger – from parents AND children Losses Mourned ► Stepfamily formed after ending (loss) of other relationship ► If Stepparent previously unmarried, mourn fantasy ► Acknowledging losses (grieving) can enhance satisfaction ► Adults sensitive to sadness of children (children have no power or control) ► Adults allow time to adjust Strong couple relationship ► Work together as team ► Stronger parent/child alliance than in first married families ► Provide atmosphere of stability ► Pay attention to needs of child while forming primary relationship with new partner Satisfactory step relationships have formed ► Relationships are very important – follow these guidelines ► Stepparent enters role slowly and gradually ► Parent “status” is earned, not acquired ► Original parent takes main active parenting role – stepparent acts as support ► Roles not based on gender stereotypes but on parental status ► Stepsibling relationships also take time to develop ► Amount of time will depend on ► Ages of child(ren) ► Number and ages of stepsiblings ► Resident or nonresident family members Satisfying Rituals are established ► Remember morphogenesis? Here it is! ► Family members come from different backgrounds with different rituals ► More than one way to do things – routines too! Ex: laundry, shower, cook a turkey, celebrate a birthday, etc. ► Need flexibility and creativity ► Retain or combine important traditions AND create new Separate Households Cooperate Separate Households Cooperate ► Custody arrangements between children’s households ► Takes time, trial and error ► Ideal – households feel independent but connected through children ► Permeable boundaries established – children can go between households easily rather than caught in the cross-fire Who is this? Cinderella’s stepmother Think about the implications in Disney movies How does this shape our ideas of step parents? How does the gender of the parent impact our views of their roles? Learning Exercise 3 – Evil Stepmother Is the image of the “evil stepmother” true in reality? How did this image come into being? Can anything be done to enhance the image of stepmothers today? Use specific examples to support your claims. Supporting Families Through Divorce and Remarriage ► Interventions for Divorce ► Counseling ► Mediation ► Co-parenting Education ► Support for Remarriage ► Family Therapy ► Stepfamily Education Programs ► Peer Support ► Community Resources ► Legal Aid ► Financial Planning ► Parenting Groups  What’s Due This Week? Class Citizenship Evaluation #2 Due 12/2 @11:59 PM Three Learning Exercises Due 12/6 @ 11:59 PM Reading for 12/9