Couple, Family & Child Psychology PSY356 PDF

Couple, Family and Child Psychology PSY356 By Nadine Alhamzawi Attachment Theory The capacity to form and maintain healthy relationships. Attachment is the bond we have with a person affected by our security and safety. Being attached to someone we feel loss, threat, and grief when they leave and...

Couple, Family and Child Psychology PSY356 By Nadine Alhamzawi Attachment Theory The capacity to form and maintain healthy relationships. Attachment is the bond we have with a person affected by our security and safety. Being attached to someone we feel loss, threat, and grief when they leave and also feel comfort and pleasure when they’re around us. Attachment theory was founded by John Bowlby, he says that a child needs at least one special caregiver to have a healthy development. He observed orphans and concluded that babies have an innate tendency to form an attachment to their mothers. Mary Ainsworth continued Bowlby’s research and proposed that attachment styles differ in degree of security. Attachment styles influence personality and social relationships throughout life. Strange Situation: An experimental task for infants where the parent leaves the baby with a stranger in a room full of toys, happened in 8 episodes until the experimenter could determine the child’s attachment style. Secure base: a responsive caregiver that provides security to explore the environment. The caregiver’s responses are what shape the child’s attachment and confidence to explore 1. Proximity Seeking: This refers to the infant’s desire to stay close to the caregiver. In a secure attachment, the infant seeks proximity to feel safe, particularly in times of stress. Insecurely attached infants may show less interest in maintaining physical closeness. 2. Exploration and Secure Base Behavior: A securely attached infant will explore their environment, using the caregiver as a "secure base" from which to venture out. They regularly check in with the caregiver and return to them when feeling unsure or scared. Insecure attachment can result in either overdependence on the caregiver (resistant) or avoidance of the caregiver while exploring. 3. Stranger Anxiety: This refers to the infant's distress when encountering an unfamiliar adult. Securely attached infants may show mild to moderate distress but are usually comforted by the presence of their caregiver. Infants with insecure attachment styles may show exaggerated or diminished reactions to strangers. 4. Separation Anxiety: This involves the infant’s emotional response when the caregiver leaves. Securely attached infants typically show distress but can be calmed when the caregiver returns. In contrast, infants with insecure attachment may show intense or little distress during separation, depending on their attachment style. 1  5. Response to Reunion: When the caregiver returns, securely attached infants are usually happy and seek comfort, calming down quickly. Insecurely attached infants may display a range of behaviours: resistant infants may be clingy but hard to console, avoidant infants may ignore or avoid the caregiver, and disorganised infants may show confusion or fear. 1-Secure Attachment: Children feel safe and confident that their caregivers will meet their needs. This develops when caregivers are consistently responsive and nurturing. Explores the environment with the parent, might protest separation from the parent but smiles more often when the parent is present, shows pleasure at reunion with the parent, 65% of middle-class American infants. In adulthood, individuals with secure attachments tend to have healthier relationships. 2-Resistant Attachment (AnxiousAmbivalent): Children show clinginess and excessive dependence on caregivers but are often anxious about their availability. This is often a result of inconsistent caregiving. Remain close to parents. Refuse to explore the new environment, distressed at the separation of parents, mixture of approach and avoidance when reunited, 10% of middle-class American infants. In relationships, these individuals may be overly needy or worried about abandonment. 3-Avoidant Attachment: Children are emotionally distant and avoid caregivers, often because the caregivers have been neglectful or dismissive of their needs. Does not protest at parent’s departure, responds the same to the stranger and the parent, or more positively to the stranger, avoids parent upon return, 20% of middle-class American infants. Adults may struggle with intimacy and prefer to maintain emotional distance in relationships 4-Anxious Attachment: Similar to resistant attachment, this style involves insecurity about the relationship, leading to fear of rejection or abandonment. People with anxious attachments often seek constant reassurance and validation from partners. 5-Disoriented (Disorganized) Attachment: This occurs when children experience fear or confusion towards their caregivers, often due to trauma or abusive situations. The caregiver is both a source of comfort and fear, leading to erratic behaviour. Exhibits contradictory behaviour in strange situations, typical attachment style when the infant is abused or neglected, less than 5% of middle-class American infants. This attachment style can lead to chaotic and unpredictable relationship patterns in adulthood. 2 The Internal Working Model (IWM) Refers to the mental representations or cognitive frameworks that individuals develop based on their early attachment experiences with caregivers. These models influence how people view themselves, others, and relationships throughout life. SelfView: Based on how they were treated by caregivers, children develop a sense of their worth and self-esteem. If they are loved and cared for consistently, they tend to see themselves as worthy of love and care. If they experience neglect or inconsistent caregiving, they might feel unworthy or unlovable. OthersView: Children also develop expectations about how others will treat them. Secure attachments lead to the belief that others are trustworthy, reliable, and caring. Insecure attachments can result in the belief that others are untrustworthy, unavailable, or rejecting. RelationshipsView: IWMs guide how individuals approach relationships. Securely attached individuals generally have positive expectations about relationships, believing in mutual support and healthy connections. Those with insecure attachment may expect relationships to be unreliable or overly demanding, affecting how they behave in close bonds. Family Systems Theory Murray Bowen suggested The Bowenian family systems theory, the family is seen as a complex system within which the individual is shaped. Conflict and dysfunction come from the inability of individuals to separate from their families. It views the family as a living system that is primarily influenced by emotions. Complex emotional interaction creates interdependence and cohesion in families. Emotions are the most influential factor in clinical problems. It talks about how to give the right recommendations to an individual we need to understand their family dynamic first. Family is always changing, self-organising, and adapting by its members and the outside environment. 3 The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory This emotional interdependence presumably evolved to promote the cohesiveness and cooperation families require to protect, shelter, and feed their members. Heightened tension, however, can intensify these processes that promote unity and teamwork, and this can lead to problems. When family members get anxious, their anxiety can escalate by spreading infectiously among them. As anxiety goes up, the emotional connectedness of family members becomes more stressful than comforting. 1-Triangles: A triangle in relationships is when three people are involved, and it's the smallest stable group. Two people alone can’t handle much tension before needing a third person. In a triangle, tension can be spread across the three relationships, making things more stable, but it doesn't fix anything. The dynamics of a triangle often change with tension. In calm times, two people (the insiders) are close, while the third (the outsider) feels left out. If things get tense between the insiders, one might get closer to the outsider, shifting who’s in and who’s out. At higher tension, being the outsider can feel safer because you avoid the conflict between the insiders. Triangles can also lead to problems like depression or even illness if someone is pushed to an outsider position. In families, parents focusing too much on a child’s issues can cause the child to rebel. 2-Differentiation of Self: Differentiation of self is about how much someone can think and act independently while still being part of a group. People with a poorly developed self rely heavily on others' approval, either conforming quickly or pushing their views on others. Bullies and rebels both struggle with this. Those with a well-differentiated self stay clearheaded during the conflict, act based on principles, and make decisions without being swayed by emotions or pressure. Groups with more poorly differentiated members tend to face more anxiety and stress, leading to bigger problems in tough situations. 3-Nuclear Family Emotional Process: The nuclear family emotional process explains four key relationship patterns that influence where problems arise in a family. These patterns are driven by emotional dynamics, not just beliefs or attitudes, and they apply to all types of family setups (intact, single-parent, stepparent, etc.). Family issues typically surface during times of prolonged stress. The level of tension depends on how much stress the family faces, how they handle it, and their support from extended family or social networks. As tension rises, these patterns become more active, and the higher the tension, the more severe the problems tend to be. 4  1. Marital Conflict: As tension increases, spouses direct their anxiety at each other, focusing on faults and trying to control each other, leading to conflict. 2. Dysfunction in a Spouse: One spouse pressures the other to conform, and the other yields to maintain peace. This can lead to the subordinate spouse losing self-control, increasing anxiety, and potentially developing health or social issues. 3. Impairment of Children: Parents project their anxieties onto a child, who becomes overly reactive to their needs and expectations. This can harm the child’s independence, school performance, social life, and health. 4. Emotional Distance: Family members distance themselves to reduce tension but risk becoming too isolated from one another. 4-Family Projection Process: The family projection process explains how parents pass their emotional issues to a child, which can lead to sensitivities like needing approval or self-blame. It happens in three steps: The parent fears something is wrong with the child. They see the child's behaviour as confirming this fear. They treat the child as if the problem is real. This creates a self-fulfilling cycle where the child develops the issues the parents project. Parents often focus more energy on this child than others, who end up more independent. Both parents contribute, with the primary caregiver often more involved. 5-Multigenerational Transmission Process: The multigenerational transmission process explains how small differences in emotional independence (differentiation of self) between parents and children become more pronounced over generations. This happens through relationships and genetics, shaping each person's "self." Children usually develop similar levels of self to their parents, but some siblings may be more or less differentiated. Over generations, one family line can become more independent and stable, while another becomes more dependent and chaotic. This process affects things like health, marriage, and success. The most independent family members tend to have stable, successful lives, while less differentiated members often face personal struggles. These patterns, passed down through generations, also influence who people choose as partners. 6-Emotional Cutoff: Emotional cutoff occurs when people distance themselves from family to manage unresolved emotional issues. This can happen by physically moving away or avoiding sensitive topics while staying in contact. While this might make relationships seem "better," it only hides the underlying problems. 5 Cutting off from family can make people overly dependent on new relationships (spouses, children, friends), leading to unrealistic expectations or pressure on these relationships. Eventually, old patterns resurface, causing tension. Everyone has some unresolved attachment to their family, but welldifferentiated people handle it better. When unresolved, people may feel like children around their parents, feel guilty for not fixing family problems, or be frustrated by a lack of understanding from their family. Going home often returns old patterns quickly, leading to either surface harmony with hidden tension or outright conflict. Families may even feel relieved or anxious when a cutoff member leaves, but these sensitivities make comfortable contact difficult. 7-Sibling Position: Sibling position in Bowen’s theory, based on Walter Toman's research, suggests that people in the same sibling position share common characteristics that influence their development and behaviour. For instance, the oldest children often take on leadership roles, while the youngest children tend to be followers. Neither position is better; instead, they complement each other well. For example, the oldest child might effectively lead while the youngest child supports in a different leadership style. Research indicates that sibling positions also impact marital stability. Couples with complementary sibling roles (like an older brother marrying a younger sister) tend to have lower divorce rates compared to those with similar roles (like two oldest children), who may clash over control. Siblings can exhibit different levels of functioning based on their family dynamics. The oldest child might become indecisive under pressure, leading a younger sibling to take on a leadership role. Conversely, the youngest child may become overly dependent. Middle children often blend traits from both older and younger siblings. Additionally, the sibling positions of a person's parents can shape their expectations and experiences, affecting their development further. 8-Societal Emotional Process: Societal emotional process in Bowen’s theory explores how emotional systems influence behaviour in societies, much like in families. While cultural forces shape a society, they can't fully explain its adaptability to challenges. Bowen noticed parallels between familial dynamics and societal issues, particularly through families with juvenile delinquents, where parents often send mixed messages of unconditional love despite their children's actions. This leads to rebellion and ineffective control. Bowen observed that in the 1960s, the legal system started treating juvenile delinquents similarly to these parents, viewing them as victims and often reducing consequences for their actions. This resulted in a pattern of regression where anxiety drove immediate relief rather than principled actions. Societal regression intensified post-World 6 War-II, is evident in rising crime, divorce rates, polarization, and decision-making that prioritizes rights over responsibilities. Societies fluctuate between regression and progression, influenced by population growth and resource depletion. Bowen predicted a major crisis by the mid-21st century, suggesting that survival would depend on finding better harmony with nature. Relationship Satisfaction All relationships need to have these three most important aspects to survive; 1-Intimacy Intimacy is not only physical Intimacy makes couples feel emotionally connected promoting trust and vulnerability, and also nurtures a sense of acceptance and shared values 2-Commitment It is a mindful and consistent decision to invest into a relationship It is the main building block that helps push the relationship through tough times 3-Communication It is a skill that needs to be learned, it’s the most important throughout all relationships, without communications you could never know what makes your partner happy or sad Prioritizing Listening Over Speaking: Active listening helps you fully understand the other person before responding. It shows that you value their perspective, building trust and respect in the conversation. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Actions: Your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can often say more than your words. Being aware of these nonverbal cues can ensure you're communicating openness and attentiveness. Making Requests and Expressing Feelings: Communicating what you need and how you feel fosters understanding and prevents miscommunication. It’s more effective than assuming others will know what’s on your mind. 7  Being Empathetic: Empathy allows you to see things from the other person’s perspective. It leads to more thoughtful responses and nurtures stronger connections because it shows that you’re truly trying to understand their feelings and experiences. Gottman Principles: Defining Happy Couples: 1-Know Each Other: This refers to partners developing a deep understanding of each other's world. It includes being familiar with each other’s dreams, likes, dislikes, fears, and life goals. The more you know about your partner, the stronger your emotional connection will be 2-Focus on Positive Qualities: Happy couples focus on each other’s strengths and the positive aspects of their relationship. Expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other, instead of dwelling on faults, strengthens emotional bonds 3-Interact: Regular, meaningful interaction is crucial. This includes conversations, spending time together, and making sure to stay connected emotionally and physically in everyday moments, not just during significant events 4-Influence Each Other: In healthy relationships, both partners allow themselves to be influenced by the other. This involves being open to compromise and respecting each other’s opinions and needs, thus maintaining a balance of power 5-Solve Your Problems: Conflict is inevitable, but how couples manage it is key. Successful couples address conflicts with respect, avoiding blame or criticism, and focus on finding solutions that work for both partners 6-Overcome Gridlock: Gridlock happens when disagreements on important issues persist over time without resolution. Overcoming gridlock involves understanding the deeper, personal reasons behind your partner’s position and finding ways to navigate differences without hurting the relationship 7-Create Shared Meanings: 8 Happy couples build a life together that has shared rituals, values, and goals. This creates a sense of purpose and mutual respect that strengthens their bond over time Predicts of Divorce (The Four Horsemen): 1-Criticism: Criticism goes beyond a simple complaint and attacks the character or personality of the partner. It can be phrased as a generalization ("You always…" or "You never…"), which makes the person feel personally attacked Constant criticism erodes the positive connection between partners, making the relationship feel more like a battleground. It creates defensiveness and resentment, pushing partners away from each other rather than resolving issues Avoid it by focusing on the specific behaviour rather than attacking the person. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you could say, "I feel unheard when we’re talking about important things." Using “I” statements helps express your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive 2-Contempt: Contempt involves behaving with a sense of superiority over your partner. This can be through mockery, sarcasm, ridicule, or dismissiveness. It’s often fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about your partner Contempt is the most dangerous of the four horsemen because it attacks your partner's sense of worth and can lead to deep emotional damage. It is often expressed in ways that humiliate or belittle, leading to a toxic environment where affection and respect are replaced by hostility Avoid it by cultivating an environment of appreciation and respect. Regularly express gratitude for your partner, even for small things. Focusing on positive interactions can help counteract the buildup of negative feelings. It’s essential to treat each other with kindness, even during conflict 3-Defensiveness: Defensiveness involves denying responsibility or shifting blame in response to a perceived attack or criticism. It includes behaviours like making excuses, counter-complaining, or dismissing the partner’s concerns by minimizing them or gaslighting When one or both partners become defensive, it escalates conflict instead of resolving it. It also shuts down open communication and prevents partners from truly hearing and understanding each other Countercomplaining: Responding to “You didn’t take out the trash” with “Well, you didn’t do the dishes.” Yesbutting: Saying “Yes, but you never tell me when to take it out” in response to a complaint. 9 Avoid it by taking responsibility, instead of deflecting blame, own your part, even if it’s small. For example, saying, “I see how you feel about the trash, and I’ll work on that.” Validation, acknowledging your partner’s feelings and showing that you understand their perspective. For instance, “I understand why that upset you, and I want to help make it better.” 4-Stonewalling: Stonewalling happens when one partner withdraws from communication altogether, often in response to feeling overwhelmed. This can manifest as the silent treatment, shutting down emotionally, or physically leaving the situation When one partner stonewalls, it creates an emotional disconnect and signals to the other that they are not willing to engage in solving the issue. Over time, it can lead to feelings of rejection, frustration, and loneliness in the relationship Often, stonewalling is a response to emotional overwhelm (flooding). The person withdrawing may feel unable to cope with the intensity of the situation Avoid it by; Recognising emotional flooding: If you or your partner feels overwhelmed, it’s important to recognize the signs early (increased heart rate, tension, feeling “frozen”). Communicate your need for space: Instead of stonewalling, communicate that you need a break to calm down. For example, “I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, can we take a short break and come back to this?” Self-soothing: During the break, engage in calming activities (deep breathing, walking, etc.) to reduce stress levels, but return to the conversation once you’re both calm. Marriage Dissatisfaction: The first few years after the birth of a child can be particularly challenging for couples, and as Gottman’s research suggests, up to 67% of couples experience significant unhappiness during this period 10 Increased Frequency and Intensity of Conflicts: The transition to parenthood brings new stressors—sleep deprivation, increased responsibilities, and time constraints—which make conflicts more frequent and intense. With so much focus on the baby, there’s less time and energy to invest in maintaining the relationship, leading to unresolved issues and growing tension. Fatigue Hurts Emotional Connection: Both parents are often exhausted, making it difficult to maintain emotional intimacy. Fatigue can lead to irritability, a lack of patience, and difficulty being emotionally available to one another. This often leads to partners feeling disconnected and lonely, even if they’re physically present The Baby’s Emotional Dependence on Parents: A baby doesn’t "retreat" from a parent who is emotionally overwhelmed. Infants demand constant attention, leaving little room for parents to process their own emotional struggles. This especially impacts mothers, who may feel emotionally drained and unable to connect with their partners Feeling Unappreciated: Both parents are likely working harder than ever, yet they both may feel unappreciated. This lack of acknowledgement for their efforts can lead to resentment, especially if one parent feels like they’re carrying more of the burden than the other, whether in caregiving, household chores, or financial support Resentment: The Inverse of Appreciation: Resentment can take root when one or both partners feel their efforts go unnoticed, or when expectations are unmet. Over time, it becomes a significant issue in relationships because it’s emotionally corrosive It is a combination of disappointment, anger, and disgust. This complex emotion arises when one partner feels hurt or wronged and believes their partner isn’t meeting their needs or expectations Resentment acts like a "relationship tax," impacting various areas of a couple’s life—money, inlaws, chores, vacations, and parenting philosophies. When left unchecked, resentment can spread into every corner of the relationship, intensifying over time Differing Expectations: After the birth of a child, both partners may have different expectations of what parenting and household responsibilities should look like. When these expectations don’t align, it leads to frustration. Feeling Unsupported: One parent might feel like they’re doing more of the work, while the other feels like they’re also doing a lot but doesn’t get recognized for it. This mutual feeling of being underappreciated fosters resentment. Blame and Criticism: When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to blame the partner. Partners may feel resentful because they expect the other to change or behave in a way that aligns with their view of the world, leading to ongoing dissatisfaction. 11 Managing Resentment: Open Communication: Couples need to discuss their feelings openly, expressing where they feel unsupported and appreciated. Often, partners are unaware of how much the other is struggling Recognize and Express Appreciation: Making a conscious effort to show appreciation for each other’s efforts helps reduce resentment. Small acknowledgements can go a long way in reinforcing positive feelings in the relationship Emotional Connection: Even when life is busy, it’s essential to make time for each other, even in small ways, to maintain a sense of emotional closeness Caregiver versus Breadwinner: The question of whether being the primary breadwinner or the primary caretaker is more difficult depends on the challenges of each role: Primary Caretaker: Physical demands: Pregnancy, childbirth, and sleep deprivation take a toll Emotional: Postpartum struggles and societal pressures create emotional strain Loss of freedom: Caregiving limits personal time and identity Emotional labour: Caretakers often manage the mental load of family life Primary Breadwinner: Financial pressure: The responsibility to provide creates stress Worklife balance: Balancing work with family involvement is tough Emotional disconnection: Breadwinners may feel distant from family life Isolation: Missing milestones due to work leads to guilt Appreciation/Resentment Paradox: Both roles can foster resentment if not appreciated. Caretakers may feel undervalued for their efforts, while breadwinners may feel unappreciated for providing financially. The key is mutual recognition and support Dealing with resentment in a relationship is crucial, as it can build up over time and become toxic if left unaddressed. Here’s how to effectively manage it: 1. Recognize and Address the Root Cause Ask Questions: When conflicts arise, focus on understanding the deeper emotions. Ask: (What are you feeling right now? Where is this coming from? (Avoid a passiveaggressive tone) How can I best support you?) 12  These questions help identify underlying feelings, such as a lack of appreciation, that often fuel resentment. 2. SelfReflection and Sharing Introspection: Reflect on your own sensitivities and triggers. Notice patterns in difficult conversations and ask yourself: (What does this mean to me? How would it feel if my fears were true?) Share these insights with your partner to foster understanding and emotional closeness. 3. Turn Towards Instead of Away Bids for Connection: These are small gestures or moments where your partner seeks attention, affection, or support. Turning toward these bids, instead of ignoring them, builds trust and emotional security The Impact of Missed Bids: Ignoring a bid (turning away) is more damaging than rejecting it outright. Missed bids can lead to emotional withdrawal, causing resentment to grow and potentially leading to seeking connections elsewhere 4. Build Emotional Resilience Emotional Bank Account: Small, positive interactions (like listening, affection, or thoughtful gestures) accumulate over time, building a reservoir of goodwill. This emotional "bank" helps couples navigate tense moments more easily, preventing resentment from taking root By focusing on open communication, selfawareness, and actively turning toward your partner's bids for connection, couples can break the cycle of resentment and strengthen their bond Building Stronger Relationships 1. Appreciation and Affection: Regularly express genuine affection and appreciation for each other 2. Commitment to Family: Prioritize family time and remain loyal to each other 3. Positive Communication: Maintain open, honest, and pleasant communication 4. Enjoyable Time Together: Spend quality time together, enjoying each other's company like good friends 5. Spiritual Wellbeing: Share a sense of faith, hope, and compassion 6. Stress Management: Work through challenges together without blame When Passion Fades: Slow Down: Reduce unnecessary commitments and focus on your marriage 13  Spend Time Together: Nurture your relationship by enjoying activities or dates Try New Things: Engage in different activities to reignite your connection Date Regularly: Keep dating to maintain intimacy and fun Surround Yourselves With Positive Couples: Spend time with happy couples and avoid negative influences Alone Time: Balance time with your partner and individual time Do Good Together: Engage in meaningful activities that reflect shared values Be Active Together: Stay physically active through shared activities like walking or sports Make Love: Build intimacy through emotional connection, starting long before physical intimacy Mind Reading: Avoid assuming what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask direct questions to understand their thoughts and intentions to prevent misunderstandings Building healthy family relationships Is essential for a child's well-being and development. Strong family bonds help children handle challenges and foster independence. When family members have healthy relationships, children feel loved, safe, and supported as they grow into confident, independent adults. Pair of ACEs: Highlights how various forms of personal trauma and difficult environments can deeply affect individuals, particularly children. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): Potentially traumatic events that happen before a child turns 18. These experiences include different forms of abuse—physical, emotional, or sexual—as well as neglect, whether emotional or physical. ACEs also encompass situations that may cause distress or trauma for a child, such as living with a parent who has a mental illness, experiencing family substance abuse, or going through parental divorce. These early adversities can have long-term effects on a child's mental and emotional development. Emotional and sexual abuse Physical and emotional neglect Divorce Substance abuse within the family Maternal depression 14 Reframing ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are common and have harmful effects on long-term health. These include witnessing violence or living with a family member with a mental illness during childhood. Repeated exposure to such stress can cause the release of stress chemicals in the body, which may lead to serious health issues later in life, such as heart disease, diabetes, or depression. However, stable and supportive relationships with caring adults can help protect children from the negative impacts of ACEs by reducing their stress response. Children thrive when they consistently engage with attentive, nurturing adults. Child neglect often signals that a family is under significant stress. When parents face overwhelming challenges like extreme poverty or depression, their ability to build strong emotional bonds with their children may be impaired, impacting the children's emotional development. Adverse Community Environments: Mental illness and domestic violence Homelessness and poverty Poor housing and community violence Discrimination and lack of economic opportunity These intertwined challenges can lead to long-term impacts on mental health, physical well-being, and social outcomes. When children face both personal and environmental adversities, their ability to thrive and grow is significantly compromised. Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs): Beneficial experiences that occur before age 18, such as supportive relationships with parents and other adults, stable household routines, comforting beliefs, and a strong community, like having good neighbours. These experiences help build resilience, allowing individuals to grow and cope even when facing traumatic events. Families that communicate well and spend time together tend to create more PCEs, fostering healthy relationships. In contrast, children with numerous Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are more at risk for developing issues such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and harmful health behaviours later in life. The Role of Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) in Development: Both positive and adverse experiences shape brain development and health across a person’s lifetime. Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) help create a foundation for optimal development and social connectedness, even in the presence of adversities. Children thrive in environments where they feel safe, stable, and emotionally bonded with their families. 15 7 Positive Childhood Experiences (Johns Hopkins, 2019): 1. Ability to talk with family about feelings. 2. Feeling that family is supportive during difficult times. 3. Enjoying participation in community traditions. 4. A sense of belonging in high school. 5. Feeling supported by friends. 6. Having at least two non-parent adults who genuinely care. 7. Feeling safe and protected by an adult at home. Not all children come from supportive and warm family environments. Some live in homes where they don't feel emotionally or physically safe. The good news is that friends, communities, and other supportive adults can also provide PCEs. Emphasize: Support from friends who inspire positivity. A sense of belonging to a larger group (e.g., school, clubs, or neighbourhood). Enjoyment of participation in community traditions. Genuine relationships with non-parent adults who take an interest in the child's wellbeing. Intervention Strategies: Build experiences that foster trust, even in difficult, uncertain, or frightening times. Encourage open conversations about challenging, scary, or embarrassing topics, offering empathy instead of solutions. Engage in shared activities like playing games, doing crafts, planting flowers, or looking at family photos to strengthen bonds. Emotional Abuse and Neglect Emotional abuse: is a damaging pattern of behaviour in which one person exerts power and control over another. It often occurs between intimate partners or from a parent to a child but can also happen in environments like schools or workplaces (e.g., bullying). Emotional abuse is subtle and insidious, gradually undermining the victim's self-esteem, sense of safety, and belonging. Emotional abuse can have severe negative effects on both the physical and mental health of children and adults. In children: Emotional neglect, such as withholding love, affection, or attention. Hostility or rejection towards the child. Insulting or humiliating comments. 16  Inappropriate parenting, including having excessive expectations or exposing the child to domestic violence. Using the child to satisfy a parent’s emotional needs, rather than recognizing the child as an independent individual. Isolating the child or limiting their opportunities to socialize or learn. Signs of emotional abuse in a child: Fearfulness of a parent. Negative self-talk, such as saying “I’m stupid.” Emotional immaturity compared to peers. Sudden changes in speech (e.g., stuttering). Sudden changes in behaviour (e.g., poor academic performance). Signs of emotional abuse in a parent or caregiver: Speaking negatively about the child. Showing little to no affection towards the child. Failing to attend to the child’s medical needs. Displaying neglect or lack of emotional warmth towards the child. Emotional neglect: occurs when a caregiver fails to meet a child’s emotional needs for love, affection, encouragement, and support. Children who experience emotional neglect are vulnerable to both internalizing problems (e.g., depression, and anxiety) and externalizing problems (e.g., behavioral issues). Positive Parenting in the Digital Age Pros Learning & Socializing: Digital tools enhance learning, socializing, and relaxation for children. Access to Support: Provides information, online communities, and mental health resources. Opportunities: Digital resources offer limitless potential for exploration, creativity, and support. Cons Risks: Exposure to inappropriate content, online bullying, and undesirable contacts. Blurring Boundaries: The digital world can overshadow physical exploration and face-to-face social interactions. Rather than banning technology, parents should weigh both benefits and risks, ensuring healthy, moderated digital engagement. 17 In high-income countries, parents are shifting from restrictive approaches (banning tech use or scolding) to more enabling ones, such as engaging with their children online, guiding privacy settings, and teaching critical evaluation of content. This shift is due to parents' own familiarity with digital media. In contrast, parents in middle- and low-income countries often favour restrictive mediation, especially in cultures with authoritarian tendencies. Without supportive resources, these parents may feel that limiting access is their only way to protect their children. Helicopter Parenting: Overprotection limits independence and may impact emotional development. A style of parenting where parents are overly focused on their children, often “hovering” nearby to ensure their child avoids any challenges, discomfort, or risks. These parents tend to intervene frequently in their children's activities, protect them from potential failures, and manage their lives closely. Overinvolvement: Parents are deeply involved in all aspects of their child's life, including school, social activities, and even hobbies. Control: They make decisions for their child to shield them from failure or disappointment. Protection from Risk: They may limit a child’s independence by stepping in to resolve conflicts or by preventing any perceived harm. Reduced Independence: Children may struggle to make decisions or cope with adversity on their own. Lower Resilience: Shielded from failures, they might lack the resilience needed to handle challenges. Inhibited Social-Emotional Development: They may find it harder to manage relationships and develop problem-solving skills. While helicopter parenting stems from a desire to protect, it can lead to reduced independence and confidence in children as they grow. Lawnmower Parenting Lawnmower parents, like helicopter parents, try to "clear the path" for their children by removing obstacles and challenges. Despite their good intentions, this over-involvement sends a message of distrust, implying children aren’t capable of handling situations independently. 18 Communication Most children across seven surveyed countries tend to turn to friends first for support, then to parents, and seldom to teachers or professionals. However, children still place significant trust in their parents’ guidance and support. European children, in particular, are more likely than those in other regions to inform a parent if they encounter an online issue. 1. Show Empathy: Acknowledge children’s need for screen time for comfort and relaxation, reducing family stress. Emphasize building inner safeguards like empathy and resilience, which are essential online and offline. 2. Model Digital Citizenship: Demonstrate responsible screen use and values like social literacy and respect, teaching children by example. 3. Create Alternatives: Make a list of enjoyable non-screen activities with your child, encouraging them to have fun away from screens. 4. Set Clear Routines: Establish times when screens are allowed and off-limits, such as mealtimes, creating consistent expectations. For positive adolescent well-being, parents should foster a strong emotional bond, provide guidance, respect individuality, model good behaviour, and ensure provision and protection. Parental Mediation Types in Technology Use 1-Restrictive Mediation: Parents set limits on screen time and social media activities to control children's tech usage. This approach can strain the parent-teen relationship, as restrictions may lead to frustration and conflict. 2-Co-use Mediation: Parents and children use technology together, but this can sometimes create stress due to teens' concerns over privacy. 3-Active Mediation: Encourages open discussions about technology use. It strengthens the parent-child relationship by promoting safety and critical thinking about online content. Positive Parenting Positive parenting respects children’s rights and focuses on fostering their development through: Nurturing Care: Meeting emotional needs for love and security. Structure and Guidance: Establishing routines and boundaries. Recognition: Valuing children’s voices and individuality. Empowerment: Building confidence and control. Non-Violent Upbringing: Avoiding corporal punishment to respect children’s dignity and integrity. 19 Five Essential Tools for Positive Digital Parenting 1-Communication: Open dialogue with children builds trust, making it easier for them to discuss their online activities. Asking questions like, “How was your online day today?” helps maintain a rapport. 2-Critical Thinking: Teaching children to reflect before acting online. Parents should model thoughtful decision-making about technology use, setting family-specific digital guidelines. 3-Digital Citizenship: Preparing children to responsibly and respectfully engage with the digital world as informed participants. 4-Continuity: Consistent conversations about online behaviour, even on challenging topics, reinforce safe habits. 5-Community: Engaging with family and community members for support and shared experiences can help families address online issues together. 20