Child Studies 2 PDF

Your Family Through the Early Years OV E R V I E W O F PA R E N T I N G As a new parent, it’s common to have a wide range of feelings—from joy, excitement and amazement to fear, sa...

Your Family Through the Early Years OV E R V I E W O F PA R E N T I N G As a new parent, it’s common to have a wide range of feelings—from joy, excitement and amazement to fear, sadness and frustration. You may have less sleep, freedom and time for yourself. Your life has certainly changed! The first few weeks and months are a big adjustment. The time it takes to adjust is different for every family. It may help to talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Share your joys and challenges, and focus on solutions that will work for your family. Helping an older child adjust If your new baby is not your first, there will be even more to adjust to with other children at home. If you have a toddler, they may just be learning to share. Suddenly, with the arrival of a newborn, they must share the most important thing to them—your love and attention. You can help your child adjust to your new baby by providing warmth and structure. Provide warmth Provide structure Tell and show your older child how much you Give your older child information about how: love them. new babies need lots of care Spend some time alone every day with your they can help you by doing things like older child, even if it’s just for a few minutes. getting you a diaper or singing a song to Tell your visitors to interact with your older the baby child first and let your child know how helpful to be gentle with the new baby they have been to you and your new baby. Tell your older child stories about their birth babies cannot do some things until they’re such as how you felt and what they were like older such as running, playing, climbing when they first came home. Help them see and reading books how big they have grown. Keep your routines such as bedtime and Read books about babies, big sisters and big mealtime as normal as possible. brothers with your older child. You may want to delay toilet teaching with your older child until you have settled in with your new baby and things are more predictable. Healthy Parents, Healthy Children | The Early Years 33  When you bring your new baby home, your other child may also have questions about where the baby came from. Answer your child’s questions honestly and with simple words. A 3-year-old may be satisfied with, “Babies grow in a special place inside a mom’s body called a uterus.” A 6-year-old may have more questions about how the baby grows or how it will come out. You could say “A baby grows in the uterus and is born through the vagina.” For ideas about talking to your children about where babies come from and about other sexual and reproductive health topics, visit teachingsexualhealth.ca Child care If your family needs child care, there are different types you can choose from. A family day home is where child care is provided in the private home of a caregiver. Day homes may or may not be approved by a family day home agency. Approved day homes are monitored and must meet government standards for things such as: the number of children in care space needed health, safety and nutrition toys and equipment Licensed child care programs offer care in centres for more than 7 children. They include day care, group child care, out-of-school care and preschool programs. Licensed child care programs may or may not offer care for infants. These programs are monitored to make sure they meet government standards for things such as staff training, number of children and staff, activities, safety and health. If you have any concerns about the conditions of your child’s approved or licensed child care, call Health Link at 811 or visit the Links section at healthyparentshealthychildren.ca/resources 34 The Early Years | Healthy Parents, Healthy Children What to look for in child care OV E R V I E W O F PA R E N T I N G Choosing child care is an important decision. You’ll want to find a safe and healthy environment that supports all areas of your child’s development. You’ll feel more comfortable with your child care decision if you know that your child is safe and happy with warm and caring adults when you’re not together. Look for child care that has the best interest of your child as its goal and: is clean and safe has a variety of play spaces for indoor and has enough adults for the number of outdoor activities, as well as for active and children in care in the centre or home quiet play time has caregivers who are qualified with follows a flexible yet predictable routine training including first aid, CPR and child respects different languages and cultures care certification is free from tobacco and tobacco-like offers healthy meals and snacks products has books, toys and activities for different ages It’s a good idea to start looking for child care well before you need it. There may be a waitlist. Meet with your child care provider ahead of time and talk about any specific needs and considerations. Feeling comfortable with your child’s caregivers makes it easier to work together as a team. “ Make sure your child’s immunizations I must have visited five different day are up to date. Children may have cares before I found one that worked more illnesses during their first for my child and our family. It was year in child care. Talk to your child ” care provider about their policy really stressful but we finally found for children staying home when one that was a great fit. they’re sick. For more information on ~ Oksana, mom of one child immunizations, see page 82. tobacco: any product made from whole or parts of tobacco leaves. This can include cigarettes, cigarillos, cigars, pipe tobacco, snuff, chewing and dipping tobacco, and shisha or hookah. It does not include any regulated nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) products. tobacco-like products: any product that mimics a tobacco product. This includes, but is not limited to, the following products that are vaped or smoked: cannabis (marijuana, hashish, hash oil), hookah, cigarillos, electronic cigarettes, vaping pens, tanks and mods. Healthy Parents, Healthy Children | The Early Years 35  Choosing child care When choosing child care, trust your feelings. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right for you and your child. Supports are available to help you choose the child care that’s right for you and your child. There’s an online checklist and guide with questions to ask when you’re interviewing child care providers. To learn more and for help finding child care options, contact the Government of Alberta, Alberta Human Services toll-free at 1-877-644-9992 or visit the Links section at healthyparentshealthychildren.ca/resources Helping your child adjust to child care Going to child care can be a big adjustment for everyone in the family, but especially for your child. You can help your child adjust to child care by providing warmth and structure. Provide warmth Provide structure Spend time at the child care centre or day Before you leave, say “Goodbye” and tell your home with your child as they explore their child when you’ll return. Leaving without new surroundings. telling them can damage the trust you’ve Give them time to feel secure in their built with them. new routine. Acknowledge their feelings. You may want Act confident—even if you do not feel it. to say, “I know you’ll miss me. I’ll miss you too. This helps your child know that they’ll be safe I’ll be back.” and okay. When you return to pick them up, tell them you came back just as you said you would. This will help build their trust and remind them that you do what you say. Have them take something such as a favourite blanket, stuffed animal or family picture with them to their child care. 36 The Early Years | Healthy Parents, Healthy Children Babysitters OV E R V I E W O F PA R E N T I N G There may be times when you need someone else to care for your child for short periods of time. Choose someone you can trust and someone who: is old enough and knows how to look after a child has first aid or babysitting training can handle an emergency does not smoke or vape or will not do it around your child will not use alcohol or other drugs before or while caring for your child will not bring over friends unless you’re okay with them to do so Spend time with new babysitters before they care for your child. Write down your phone number, full name and address, as well as any other emergency contact information. Leave this information in a place that is easy to find and show them where it’s kept. Always supervise Never leave your baby unsupervised with other young children—whether they are siblings or a friend’s children. Healthy Parents, Healthy Children | The Early Years 37  Taking Care of Yourself Life is busier with a child in the family. It’s really important, however, to take time for yourself and your relationships. Whether you parent with someone else or do it on your own, it can be easy to forget about your adult relationships. Having strong relationships and good communication with other adults is important for your mental health. It also helps create a healthy and supportive environment for your children and shows them what a healthy relationship looks like. “ ” Take time out for each other. A healthy relationship with your partner is very important to keep your family healthy. ~ Taylor, parent of two children Your relationships Having a healthy relationship with your partner and other people in your life is important. Healthy relationships can offer support, comfort and improve overall health and well-being. By taking care of your relationships, you’ll help develop a safe and secure place for your whole family. All healthy relationships have boundaries. In a healthy relationship, each partner respects: physical boundaries, such as touching and personal space Setting examples emotional boundaries, such as being Your children will see how you are with able to keep personal information private others and learn by watching you. This is how they’ll learn about how to have sexual boundaries, such as being able to healthy relationships with others. express their needs and limits Respecting each other’s boundaries is an important part of a healthy relationship. The next table gives examples of what a healthy relationship looks and feels like. Trust your 38 The Early Years | Healthy Parents, Healthy Children instincts. If something doesn’t OV E R V I E W O F PA R E N T I N G feel right in your relationship, and you feel safe to do so, think about making changes. All adults have times when they disagree, even in healthy relationships. However, abuse is not acceptable. There are many supports and resources available to help you and your children if you’re in an abusive situation (see page 42). Is my relationship healthy? Healthy Unhealthy Abusive You feel safe, comfortable One person feels One person feels afraid Sharing feelings and strong enough to uncomfortable telling the to tell the other how tell each other how you other how they really feel. they really feel. They’re really feel. scared of being rejected, abandoned, getting ‘put down’ or being threatened. You listen to and respect One person ignores One person treats the Communicating each other’s point of the other and does not other with disrespect. view. respect their opinions. One person ignores the You make decisions other’s ideas and feelings together. or makes fun of them. You have equal say in the Disagreements often turn One person is afraid to relationship. into fights that include disagree because they You show respect to each yelling, criticism or harsh don’t want the other to other even when you words. get angry or violent. Disagreements have disagreements. The disagreement is used You work things out as an excuse for abuse. together, so you both get One person controls the what you need. money and prevents the other from spending money they’ve earned, accessing bank accounts, or being part of financial decisions. (continued on following page) Healthy Parents, Healthy Children | The Early Years 39  (continued from previous page) Is my relationship healthy? Healthy Unhealthy Abusive You’re honest about how One person is One person ignores the you feel about being embarrassed to say how other’s needs and wants. Intimacy and sex physical and having sex. they feel or what they One person may be Neither of you feels need. pushed into doing things pressured to do anything One person may go that makes them feel you don’t want to do. along with things uncomfortable, afraid or that they may not be ashamed. comfortable with. You can spend time One person thinks there One person doesn’t alone and think of this may be something let the other spend as a healthy part of the wrong if the other wants time doing things on relationship. to do things without their own because it’s Time alone them. seen as a threat to the One person tries to keep relationship. the other to themselves. One person may monitor the other person’s activities and isolate them from family and friends. You trust each other. One person feels jealous One person accuses the You are comfortable with when the other talks other of flirting or having to or spends time with an affair. Trust each other spending time with other people. someone else. One person orders the other not to talk to other people. You value your There have been a few There’s a pattern of differences and work to times when harsh words increasing or ongoing be non-judgmental. are used, and one person verbal or psychological Verbal You both try hard not to felt at risk of harm. abuse. This may include talk harshly to or about There’s no clear pattern damaging belongings, each other. of abuse. name-calling, and threats to hurt or kill you, a family member or pet. There’s no physical There have been a few There’s an increasing violence or threat times when one person or ongoing pattern of violence in the felt at risk of harm. of pushing, slapping, relationship. There’s no clear pattern shaking, choking, Neither person feels of abuse or violence. punching or forced Violence at risk of being hurt or sexual contact. harmed. Both partners behave in ways that keep the other safe (e.g., safer sex practices, being financially responsible). 40 The Early Years | Healthy Parents, Healthy Children