Chapter 7: Formal Family Meetings PDF

7 Chapter FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS © iStockphoto.com/Steve Debenpor...

7 Chapter FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS © iStockphoto.com/Steve Debenport “Parent–teacher conferences are highly ritualized events, and like most rituals, the form and content can become symbolic or substantive, routine or revelatory, limiting or liberating.” —Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot (2003) Learning Outcomes After studying this chapter, you will be able to 1. outline the benefits of more formal meetings for 5. identify strategies for planning and conducting both families and teachers successful meetings, including supports for English language learners. 2. discuss teachers’ and families’ concerns about meetings 6. describe strategies for resolving conflicts that 3. describe the role of the supervisor/principal in may occur during a meeting supporting staff through the process 7. examine follow-up and evaluation procedures 4. heighten awareness of the role of the educator in supporting families through formal meetings 222 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  REASONS FOR ORGANIZING find out how their child is getting along with other children and adults in the program MORE FORMAL MEETINGS Before beginning this chapter, it is important to note be reassured about the teacher–child relation- that family–teacher meetings are no more important ship when learning about the teacher’s insight than any other means of connecting with families. into their child But because of the more formal nature of this type of talk over any issues that may be of concern interaction, these meetings sometimes create anxiety regarding the centre for all involved. By being well prepared, educators will feel less anxious and will see these meetings clarify their own role in the centre and how as opportunities for quality one-on-one time with they can be engaged families. It is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate At the meeting, educators can the lives of the children! encourage family support and engagement in Formal meetings allow families and teachers the program to meet and share information that assists both in discuss the centre environment and its contribu- developing their relationship and in setting appro- tion to their child’s development priate goals for the children. These meetings should be held on a regular basis; some centres schedule explain the developmental milestones in the them three times a year. Some families, particularly child’s life those with infants, may benefit from more frequent gain insight into the family’s expectations for meetings. For families that are new to the centre, both the centre and the child a family–teacher meeting might be arranged after they have been with the centre for a few months. learn how the child feels about both the centre These meetings may be held on fixed dates each and the teacher–child relationship year or organized spontaneously to address imme- become aware of emerging issues related to the diate issues that families and teachers wish to dis- child (e.g., developing fears, health concerns, cuss. Either way, these meetings are of particular changes in sleep routines) benefit to families and educators of younger chil- dren, who are progressing rapidly through devel- learn more about the child’s home and commu- opmental stages. nity environment At the meeting, both teachers and families can HOW FAMILIES AND EDUCATORS strengthen their relationships with each other BENEFIT FROM MORE FORMAL reduce misunderstandings MEETINGS raise issues At the meeting, families can identify future goals for the child both at home include all family members who are interested and in the early learning environment in attending discuss strategies for strengthening the home– express their feelings about their child’s centre partnership experience discuss their family values CONCERNS ABOUT FORMAL discuss goals for their child MEETINGS ask questions about their child’s development TEACHERS’ CONCERNS discuss significant family matters such as cel- 1. No experience with these type of meetings: ebrations, illness, or a death in the family I’ve never done a meeting like this before. I’m not sure what to do or say and I’m not even provide examples of their child’s growth and sure how to start preparing for it. I wish we development in the home had some kind of professional development learn more about how they can contribute to training on how to conduct such an important their child’s development at home meeting! NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 223 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  2. Lack of self-confidence: I’m a really shy of their family members are still in difficult person. I’m fine with the children, but when situations in Aleppo, which is a constant worry I have these meetings I feel awkward and for them. I want to help but I am not sure how uncomfortable. I feel my face turning red, I can ease their suffering. and I stumble over everything I say. I know I 9. Lack of understanding of cultural practices: have to work on feeling more confident about With so many diverse families in my program, myself and my skills as a professional. I have I am really worried that I just don’t have a the training; I just can’t always articulate it the wide enough worldview to understand the way I should be able to. experiences of all of my families. Some parents 3. Feeling vulnerable: This is the time when are very direct and straight to the point, and I feel the most vulnerable and defensive. I others are more formal and less direct. feel that my abilities and professionalism are 10. Conflicting attitudes with teachers and ­challenged by some families. I know there are ­families from the same culture: Many fami- many emotions at work here, not just mine, lies in our centre have a Portuguese back- and I am sure that parents at times are also ground, and I know that many of them feeling vulnerable and defensive. assume that because I am also Portuguese we 4. Personal history: My parents weren’t involved will think the same way. But I know that I in my school life and I wonder whether I react hold different ideas about child development differently to the parents who are very involved and schooling that puts me at odds with some in our centre. My mother and my father felt of our families. uncomfortable being around my teachers; does 11. Being unable to answer parents’ questions: I my experience growing up impact the relation- work hard to prepare for a meeting with fami- ships I have with the ­families at our centre? lies because I am terrified that they will ask 5. How do I introduce myself? I’m not even me a question that I can’t answer. I don’t want sure how to greet families at the start of the them to think that I’m not knowledgeable. meeting since I know that it is easy to offend What if I make a mistake? someone by doing the wrong thing, so do I 12. Not being taken seriously if the teacher has shake hands, do I bow? I just feel there is so no children of her own: I sometimes wonder much for me to learn. if parents think I don’t have a real under- 6. Challenging communication: I come from a standing of what it is like to be a parent collectivist culture where close intimate con- because I’m not one myself. I’m still new to the tact is accepted behaviour. Hugging, touching, field and several of the parents in the room are and my style of communication are all part of the same age as my own parents. how I was raised and how I interact with the 13. Dealing with an angry parent: In my personal children. I know that some parents seem put life I avoid confrontation because I almost off by my approach and I’m not sure how to always end up in tears. My greatest fear is that effectively interact with them. a parent will get angry with me and there will 7. Communicating effectively with English lan- be a confrontation. guage learner families: My biggest concern 14. Handling issues that are beyond the teacher’s is how to have a productive interview with control: The late-fee policy at our centre is a families whose language I don’t share. I have really big issue for one of our parents. I know several families whose English is limited but that a parent will bring it up at the meeting whom I can speak to; however, I’m worried and I’m not sure how to respond. that we will not fully understand each other, 15. Demanding or hard-to-please parents: I know or that they may misunderstand either what I that I have to work harder at my relationship say or my intention and take offence. with Maria’s family. They seem so resistant to 8. Parents with difficult backgrounds: I am wor- accepting the limitations of group care, and ried about several of my families who have their expectations of me seem so high. No just arrived from Syria. I know that they have matter what I do, I can’t seem to please them. I spent several years in a refugee camp and they know that when strong feelings arise, it is hard have seen terrible atrocities committed. Many to be objective. 224 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  16. Broaching serious concerns with families: I’m how to be a better parent. I’m worried that the dreading the meeting with Joshua’s family. teachers are going to quiz me about my par- I’ve been gathering information over the past enting techniques, and I won’t be able to pro- few months, and have serious concerns about vide satisfactory answers. I wish I trusted them a delay in his development. I know that I have enough to just ask for help. to discuss these concerns with his family, but 4. I’m a nuisance: I never hear from the teachers, I’m worried about their reaction and how to I never feel welcome in the centre, and now best support them. they want me to come in for a meeting. They 17. Not being seen as a professional: I want to be constantly send the message that they don’t appreciated by the families. My work with want me to be involved and now all of a the children is more than a job for me—it is sudden it is “all hands on deck.” Don’t they my life’s work! Yet some families treat me as think that I could contribute to the program? though I were nothing more than a babysitter. If I call the centre, it’s days before anyone even I don’t think these families have an under- returns my call. standing of the time and effort I put into this 5. Teachers and their favourites: The teachers job. Some parents just don’t respect what I do. really seem to prefer Sarah and her family. 18. Conflicting roles: In our Kindergarten class, They seem to ignore me when I am in the the teacher and I work really well together but centre, but they have lots to say to Sarah’s par- some parents will speak only to the teacher, ents about how her day went. I’m concerned as if I don’t have anything to offer as an ECE. that the teachers prefer Sarah and her parents I am worrying about our upcoming meeting over me and my child. and how parents view my role. 6. Being informed that my child is not devel- 19. Lack of parental interest: There is not much oping “normally”: Our 4-year-old is going point in holding a formal meeting at our through an acting-out phase. What if the centre. The families are just not interested in teachers tell us he is developing a serious what we have to tell them. They rush in and behavioural problem? out, never even asking how things have gone 7. Lack of teacher commitment to the well- or whether we have had any problems. being of my child: My biggest concern about the family–teacher meeting is not how well Rashid is doing in the program but how FAMILIES’ CONCERNS much this teacher is really connected to him. 1. Being confronted with some wrongdoing on Does she really like him? Is she really willing the part of their child: When I was little, I was to work with us on his behalf? My son has a the troublemaker in my family. My parents unique learning style, and I’m not sure the were called into the school several times to talk teacher is willing to accommodate him. to the teacher and principal because of some- 8. Lack of insight into our family: We are going thing I had done. When we received the letter through a very difficult time right now; my from the toddler teachers saying they wanted mother who lives with us has Alzheimer’s, and to speak to my wife and me about Jason, all my with three children, being a single mother, old fears kicked in. and working full-time, I just don’t have time 2. Being judged by teachers: I didn’t do well to attend a meeting. at school and always felt intimidated by my 9. Cultural insensitivity on the part of teachers: teachers. I am very uncomfortable around Our heritage is very important to us. We want my son’s teachers. I guess I feel that they are our son to adjust to his life here in Canada, but making judgments on whether or not I am a we also want to retain the richness of our own good mother. Being a good mother is impor- Syrian culture. Will the centre value our reli- tant to me, and I’m afraid of what they might gious and cultural beliefs? say. 10. Lack of concern about our dietary practices: 3. Having my parenting skills scrutinized: Amy I don’t know how to tell them but the food is my first child, and although I am trying my served at the centre does not reflect the food best, I sometimes wish I knew more about we eat in our home. I’m worried that the NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 225 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  teacher and the cook will think I’m interfering centre’s family handbook or in the school’s policy if I tell them but Sameer is just not eating the and procedures handouts, and discussed during the way he should. orientation for new families. 11. Jeopardizing the teacher’s relationship with Many educators, particularly new staff, may need my child: I have a problem with the nap rou- professional development to learn the best practices tine and the length of time Ryan is sleeping. for conducting effective family meetings. Supervisors At night he takes hours to settle down because sometimes meet with staff individually to review the he is not tired but I’m afraid to mention it procedures for gathering information on children because the teachers might get defensive and and presenting it to family members, and for sup- take it out on Ryan. porting a focus on a strength-based approach. Also 12. Differing school backgrounds: My schooling was helpful is role-playing in a staff meeting or linking a very different from what I see the teachers doing more experienced educator with a new recruit. with the children in this centre. We had to be very Supervisors may choose to sit in on some meet- quiet and respectful of the teachers at all times. ings to contribute their expertise and observations. We would never have spoken to the teachers in Their presence may particularly be evident when a the way the children do at this centre. I think conflict is anticipated. there should be more structure and a greater The responsibility of providing an interpreter for emphasis on reading and writing. I feel pretty multilingual families will often fall to the supervisor. confused about the right way to teach children. While some companies provide interpreting services on conference calls, doing so often feels impersonal. 13. Problems with arrangements for interpreters: It is also unwise to have children interpret for their My English-language skills are not good and parents. These children may find it challenging to the teacher has asked me to bring my 12-year- interpret educational information, and they may old daughter to interpret for me. But there are not be forthcoming if the information is not to their things I want to talk about that I do not want liking! Parents may also feel uncomfortable dis- my daughter to hear. I know that we should cussing family issues with their child present. go to the meeting, but we probably won’t. Another parent may be available to act as an 14. Lack of privacy: I remember being in a gym interpreter but first ensure that the family is com- full of parents, waiting for an interview with fortable with this arrangement. Principals may want my older daughter’s teachers. Interviews were to consider training parents to become interpreters three minutes long, with one minute allowed when ongoing support is likely. Parents who are for parents to rush to the next teacher. At one familiar with the early learning environment may point I was so upset with one teacher’s com- be good candidates for this task. ments that I began to cry in front of all those Before the meeting, a training session for educa- people. I’ve never attended a meeting at a child- tors and interpreters may help to smooth the pro- care centre before. What if the setup is the same cess. Reviewing the agenda ahead of time is critical, and I repeat my humiliating experience? as is ensuring that the interpreter understands the It is hardly surprising that all participants in a need for confidentiality. The supervisor should more formal situation may be nervous and unsure of ensure that teachers know to face and speak directly themselves. The information in this chapter should to the family and not to the interpreter. It is critical help to alleviate many of these fears and concerns. that the educator speak at an even pace and pause frequently so that the interpreter can translate. Although the supervisor/principal may be very STRATEGIES FOR PLANNING visible and on hand to greet family members as they THE MEETING arrive, the supervisor/principal’s role in the family– educator meetings is, essentially, an organizational one. THE ROLE OF THE SUPERVISOR/ PRINCIPAL Effective leadership by the principal or supervisor ADVANCE PLANNING will ensure that these more formal meetings achieve In preparing for these gatherings, a staff meeting their maximum potential. The purpose of family– is a good place to start so that all staff can problem- educator meetings should be explained in the solve for families who may have more than one 226 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  arriving several hours or even days after the appointed time is within the bounds of courtesy.* Some centres schedule a 20- to 30-minute meeting Picture Partners / Alamy Stock Photo for each family; other centres are less s­ tructured. The time scheduled for the meeting should be communi- cated to families in advance. When necessary, extra time taken for the meeting can reduce the follow-up time needed to correct any misunderstanding cre- ated by rushing. Also, more time should be sched- uled when an interpreter is required. Teachers should ensure that the meetings do not conflict with national holidays, religious ­festivals, or popular Attention should be paid to the organization of meetings events (e.g., the last game of the World Cup). when a family has more than one child. Families should be notified in a variety of ways child in the centre, coordinate if an interpreter is about the upcoming meeting. A letter should be needed, and decide where the meetings will be held. sent home well in advance so that families have an Most importantly, the centre should take into con- opportunity to organize their schedules. Formal let- sideration families’ busy schedules. Some families ters on the centre’s letterhead may be used but more may find early morning meetings more convenient; informal clip-art invitations, if appropriate, are avail- others may prefer noon-hour, naptime, evening, able online to be either emailed or printed. English or weekend appointments. Special arrangements language learner families should receive letters in might also be needed for parents who work shifts their own language; if this is not possible, they should or those who commute great distances. be notified in person. Where literacy may be an issue, Child care should also be provided for young family members should also be informed verbally. children, so educators and families have this uninter- Other communication strategies may include email, rupted time together. Consider also that older chil- text message, a notice in the newsletter with a clip- dren, who cannot be left at home on their own, should out portion to be returned to the teacher, or a signup be included when deciding on coverage. Sometimes poster at the front door. For some families, an online it may be more feasible to hold the meeting at the booking that they can make when they have time child’s home or at the teacher’s home rather than at may be the easiest method of ensuring that families the centre, or perhaps by phone or FaceTime. attend the meeting. The online booking may also be Divorced or separated parents may choose to a useful tool when more than one child attends the meet with teachers together or separately. Step- centre and more than one meeting is to take place. parents, live-in partners, other family members, and Centres with large numbers could consider pur- other individuals who play an important role in the chasing a commercial booking system. child’s life should also be welcome at the meeting. Additionally, when necessary, arrangements should CONFIRMING THE MEETING be made to include foster families and other support Once all of the meeting times have been coordi- personnel who may be working with their child. nated, the educator should send home a note or an email to officially confirm the date, time, and loca- THE CONCEPT OF TIME tion of the meeting. To help families prepare for Gonzalez-Mena (2008: 47) reminds us that the meeting, teachers might invite them to come in beforehand and spend some time observing in the the concept of time needs to be addressed and what playroom. Teachers may initiate an agenda, but it means to be late. For some people, being early is families should also have an opportunity to add their important and so when the appointed time comes, own items as they prepare for the meeting. they are already there and waiting. For others, the goal is to walk in the door one minute before the scheduled time; they don’t like to wait. For others, forgivably late means five or so minutes. In some *Gonzalez-Mena, Janet, 50 Strategies for Communicating and families, clock time has very little meaning and Working with Diverse Families, 2nd, © 2010. Reprinted by permis- appointments may have even less. In their culture, sion of Pearson ­Education, Inc., New York, New York. NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 227 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  Janeway Child and Family Centre NOTIFICATION OF MEETING: SAMPLE LETTER TO FAMILIES Dear Ms. Khan: Now that Jamal has been with us for six weeks, we would like to get together with you to dis- cuss his adjustment to our room. We are looking forward to having time to share information about Jamal. During the week of November 3–8 we will be holding our family–teacher meetings. Ms. Ahluwalia will again be available to interpret for you. Child care will also be provided while you are meeting with us. Please sign the list on the parent bulletin board for a time that will be most convenient for you or speak to one of us when you are dropping off Jamal at the centre. The meeting will be an opportunity for you to talk about your feelings about the centre and our program. The following are some of the items that you might like to discuss with us when you come to the meeting, but please feel free to add any new ideas or issues: 1. What does Jamal enjoy about being in the centre? 2. What are your feelings about his adjustment to group care? 3. Does he discuss any favourite activities or learning centres in the room? 4. Whom does he like to play with? 5. Do you or Jamal have any issues that you would like to discuss with us? Sincerely, Alexander Dougall, Fadila Awad Parents and educators need enough information to child. When preparing for a meeting, teachers prepare for the conference no matter who requests should consult with other adults who work with it. If parents or teachers are not informed about the the child or those who did in the past. As an objec- nature of the requested meeting, there is the possi- tive observer of both the child and the teacher, the bility of feeling ambushed by blame fixing and the supervisor is often able to provide valuable insights. result is that someone is set in a defensive position. Establish the belief that the meeting will be Frustration, anger, fear, discouragement often result and so hope is blanched, the child suffers real, meaningful, and relevant for the educator and the result is far from hopeful for change. The and family members. The meeting must result in conference should be a celebration of who the child productive strategies and hope. It must be honest is, what he or she knows and can do, and what the and fair. Throughout the year, educators should possibilities could be if certain strategies are put in formally record their observations of the children. place. The root of evaluation is to “value,” [so] the Any comments they make at a meeting can then be process should be positive (Cameron, 2012)* supported by documentation. Record keeping with respect to a child’s development can take many forms. One teacher might record milestones and TEACHER PREPARATION significant events on adhesive notes kept inside her RECORD KEEPING cupboard door; at the end of the week, the notes can be transferred to a binder—indexed for each child. Nothing is more frustrating for families than Another teacher might prepare an index box with attending a meeting in which the teacher speaks in file cards organized alphabetically for each child, generalities and appears to know little about their and then jot down observations throughout the day. Other teachers might record their observations fol- *Cameron, L. 2012. “Ask an expert: Improving parent–teacher inter- lowing weekly meetings with other staff. Becoming views.” Canadian Living. Available at http://www.canadianliving. com/moms/parenting/ask_an_expert_improving_parent_teacher more popular are the many new electronic methods interviews.php. Reprinted by permission of Groupe TVA. for gathering information. 228 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  INSIDE LOOK HiMama Families in the digital world of today have higher demands for what information they want to receive and how they prefer to receive that information. In this hyperconnected world, many parents want informa- tion at their fingertips and only digital technology can provide this. HiMama is an app designed to solve this need. Early childhood education programs use HiMama to efficiently record observations and notes in the classroom while increasing family involvement in children’s learning and development. It is used by educators on tablets to document child development, as well as record notes about children’s well-being throughout the day. This information is shared privately and securely with the child’s parents through email, the HiMama website, and HiMama apps for parents. Armed with more information about their child’s day, parents are able to have more informed and meaningful conversations with their child about the specific details of their day’s activities. This helps bridge the gap between learning in program and learning at home. The app is based on the principle that more transparent and frequent communication between edu- cators and families results in stronger relationships. Effectively, a partnership based on trust is formed between the educator and the family that ultimately improves outcomes for children. From the educator’s perspective, the app also acts as a tool to visually showcase not only the progress of the child, but also their own work and the impact that it has on children’s development, reinforcing the important role they play in a child’s life and in society. See www.himama.com for more information about the HiMama app. Source: Ron Spreeuwenberg, Hi Mama Inc. District Developmental Screen (NDDS), which Courtesy of Richmond Adelaide Child Care Centre can be accessed at www.ndds.ca. Two others are the Child Development Inventory and On Track – Supporting Healthy Child Development and Early Identification in the Early Years. PORTFOLIO DEVELOPMENT Portfolios are opportunities for teachers to find creative ways to document learning! Software is also now available so that teachers, children, and families can develop electronic portfolios. This teacher documents an observation in an online An example is LifeCubby, available at www program..lifecubby.me. A portfolio is an ongoing record-keeping system consisting of significant information about a child’s In many centres, experienced teachers create individual behaviour (e.g., health data, work sam- their own assessment tools using a checklist format. ples, and teachers’ observations). The system enables ECE students are not always trained in the use of all child-care professionals to keep records over time, assessment tools, but should try to learn from more add items as necessary, evaluate the child’s perfor- experienced teachers. Teachers should be mindful mance, evolve plans to meet the child’s needs, and of whether the tool is inclusive and reflects the socio- review progress. It enables families to understand economic and cultural diversity of the children it their child’s progress over time and to become more assesses. One such inclusive tool is the Nipissing familiar with activities in the playroom. NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 229 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  reports from psychologists, social workers, and so forth; photographs of special moments in the child’s Yuri_Arcurs/Digital Vision/Getty Images life, items the child has made, and so on; special items selected by the child; artwork samples; samples of the child’s writing; audiotapes of the child’s language, reading, or music; videotapes of the child’s activities; the child’s own records-of-achievement journal; Parents review their child’s portfolio with an educator. a learning log of the child’s lifetime experi- ences; and questionnaire responses. According to Martin (2007: 220) a portfolio might contain Educators should review each portfolio to see how well it presents the story of the child’s devel- health records; opment, then add or subtract pieces as necessary family intake forms; to ensure the story is full and accurate. Portfolios notes forwarded from previous caregiving should also include less tangible information—for agencies; example, records of the child’s enthusiasm, confi- observation records; dence, or kindness. Learning stories can be included to provide real insight into a child’s thoughts, feel- developmental checklists; ings, and development. parental input in a variety of forms; When adding selections of children’s work to assessment results from standardized tests portfolios, teachers may wish to make a note on (attention should be paid to ensure the tests why it is significant. School-age children may be are linguistically and culturally appropriate); interested in contributing their own work and INSIDE LOOK At our centre we are trying a new strategy this year. We have created a checklist that states all the important learning centres in our room as well as important social and emotional areas that we want to highlight. We always have a camera available in the room, and we are using it to take photographs of the children to capture those memorable moments. The checklist with each child’s name on it helps us to see what photos we need to collect. We will put the photos into an album for the family and use the album as a tool for discussing their child’s development at the family–teacher meeting. When children advance to the next age group in the centre, the portfolio can become a valuable tool for orientating their teachers. When the child leaves the centre to go to another child-care setting or goes into the school system, the portfolio can be an effective and informative way to introduce the child and his family to the new teachers. A communication book that travels with the child through his or her life at the centre may become a treasured family item. It is important to remember that all information gath- ered about children is confidential and should be stored in a manner that protects their privacy. Portfolios may be used as a marketing and public relations tool—but only after obtaining the families’ and child’s permission to use the material. In these cases teachers can organize the portfolio materials for families who are considering enrolling their child in the centre. 230 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  written comments to their portfolios; doing so will relevant items. The centre might also consider provide them with an opportunity to reflect on hosting a portfolio party where children and their their own growth and development. The portfolio families design and decorate creative portfolios. might also contain notes written by the families, memories, or samples of work completed at home. Educators may also want to consider a travelling PREPARING THE WAITING portfolio that goes back and forth between home AND MEETING AREAS and school with children, families, and teachers The location of the meeting should be clearly posted, adding material. with multilingual signs provided as necessary. For Gathering information for the portfolio on a many families, this meeting will be a family affair, regular basis facilitates meeting preparation. Each so be prepared for extra seats to accommodate portfolio should also include a table of contents, everyone who arrives. A waiting area should be set organized by areas of development or subject area. up, seating should be comfortable, and articles and To organize the material, teachers can use plastic handouts should be provided to help families pass containers, large manila folders, expandable files, the time. This area might include a display of the binders, or scrapbooks. Another possibility is to children’s books that are being used in the playroom, create an elaborate box, decorating one side as a family bulletin board, and photographs of the chil- each year passes, to store photographs, records of dren, and perhaps soft music playing. A video of milestones, videos, artwork, audiotapes, and other the children during outdoor play could be shown INSIDE LOOK This section was contributed by Jane Cawley and Darlene Meecham of Centennial College. One of the most beneficial aspects of the portfolio process is the rich family involvement. Through observations, work samples, photographs, and audio or video recordings, we are able to share with the family the many “missed and precious” moments on an ongoing and systematic basis. By opening the learning process to the family, we engage them in the life of the centre. This leads to increased trust and respect. Video portfolios offer families the opportunity to hear language, observe movement, and view the overall development of their own child and of others. They’re a great teaching tool! Here are a few examples of how video portfolios touched the lives of our families: One of our families moved to Canada from China before their child was born. Many mem- bers of their family have never met the child. The father sent the video home, and the entire extended family spent many hours viewing the tape and sharing in her Canadian child-care experience. Another parent saved the video of her daughter to view together on Mother’s Day. She told us that she cried with joy when she saw her child in action and that it was the best Mother’s Day gift she had ever received. One mother used the video to help in her child’s adjustment after leaving the centre. The child was missing her friends and teachers and they would play the tape every night and laugh as they remembered the happy days at the centre. We created a mini-portfolio for one of our new families. The child was experiencing sepa- ration anxiety, and the family was experiencing guilt and fear that their child would not adjust to a child-care situation. We put together a small photo album depicting the child’s steady progression (from anxiously waiting at the door to onlooker play to parallel play) over a period of several weeks. This effort was greatly appreciated by the families. Whatever method of portfolio implementation you decide to use, be assured that your parent–teacher relationships will benefit. Source: Reprinted by permission of Darlene Meecham. NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 231 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  as families wait. Posting a list of appointments and exceptional (i.e., special needs and gifted) children checking names off as each meeting is completed who critically need consistency and skills devel- gives families a sense of their waiting time. Refresh- opment. For children who are attending full-day ments (coffee, tea, cookies made by the children) kindergartens in a public school setting, an early should also be provided. childhood educator and primary school teacher will The meeting area itself should be neat and tidy, be working together and so will host the meeting private, and inviting. Even a simple touch such as together, sharing their insights. fresh flowers will do much to enhance the envi- ronment. Paper and pens should be on hand so that families can take notes, which may be helpful, GETTING STARTED especially when one parent is unable to attend the Consider how to greet the family in a culturally meeting. To avoid creating a barrier between them- appropriate and welcoming manner. Many fami- selves and the family, teachers should refrain from lies would be pleased to be greeted in their first sitting behind a desk; instead, a round table with language—for example, “Ni Hao” in Mandarin, adult-size chairs for both family members and edu- “Dobar Dan” in Croatian, or “Namaste” in Hindi. cators is ideal. Never ask an adult—particularly a Some families would expect a very formal greeting; tall individual—to sit on a playroom chair! Atten- in other families, the father may be seen as the only tion should be given to lighting, ventilation, and acceptable individual to engage in a conversation the temperature of the room. Of course, cellphones with the teacher. It is up to the teacher to under- should be turned off during the meeting. stand which greeting will make the families feel the most welcome. SHOULD CHILDREN ATTEND Family members will bring a variety of attitudes to the meeting itself. Some are eager to begin; others THE MEETING? appear shy or uncomfortable, and still others will As a rule, meetings should not be attended by chil- want to socialize first. Some parents may be reluc- dren, especially when they are too young to under- tant to share their concerns because of cultural stand the process. Also, parents and teachers may beliefs related to the authority of the teacher. Many decide that it is in the best interest of the child not parents would also be surprised to know that the to be present. In some situations the child’s presence teacher, especially a new teacher, may be as ner- may inhibit family members from openly discussing vous as they are. Therefore, the first few minutes family issues. Decisions on children’s involvement are critical for setting the tone for the meeting. It is in meetings should be made on a case-by-case basis. important for teachers to adjust their meeting styles to accommodate individual family members. EARLY LEARNING ­ENVIRONMENTS Before beginning, teachers may decide to take families on a tour of the playroom—an especially AND SCHOOLS WORKING appropriate gesture for those who are new to the TOGETHER centre or who missed the orientation. The teacher Teachers in both schools and early learning settings can highlight the child’s favourite learning centre should coordinate and conduct the family meeting and the skills learned there or show the child’s together when they are housed in the same location. favourite toys. Each teacher sees the child in a different environ- Teachers may want to begin by reviewing the ment, and each has information from his or her own agenda and then giving family members an oppor- perspective to contribute to the discussion. The child tunity to add items they would like to discuss. For benefits; all the adults working with the child are some families, a brief explanation of the purpose apprised of the goals and strategies for achieving and goals of the meeting may be helpful. Beginning them. We need to work toward a united front that the meeting with some positive comments about the blends the skills of the school and the early learning child is a good way to acknowledge the enormous environment. emotional investment that families have in their Ongoing communication is critical to pro- children. viding the best possible experience for the chil- Some teachers like to get the meeting off to dren and their families. All children benefit from a positive start by commenting on a successful this approach, but it is especially important for parent–child interaction they have observed: “I’ve 232 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  Janeway Child and Family Centre MEETING CHECKLIST ___ Meeting letter sent home ___ Portfolio organized ___ Sign-up sheets prepared ___ Interpreter arranged, if needed ___ Convenient time arranged ___ Agenda ready ___ Confirmation letter sent home ___ Signs prepared ___ Reminder phone call, note, email, or text ___ Meeting area and waiting area prepared issued right before the date ___ Refreshments organized ___ Child-care services organized, if required ___ Support material for families available been wanting to tell you that I really admire the EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION way you are so patient with Shanaz at the end of In the busy world of an early childhood environ- the day. It is such a hectic time and yet you take ment, it is often challenging to find the time to com- the time to listen to what he is saying about his day. municate effectively for many reasons. I can see how proud you are of his accomplish- ments.” Recounting a story that reveals a sensitive Styles of communication are influenced by indi- or caring moment is another positive way to begin: vidual personality and temperament as well as the “Yesterday, one of the children fell on the play- rules of talking that people learn in family and cul- ground and really hurt herself. Helleca raced over ture…. [P]ersonal temperament affects your com- and by the time I got there she had the situation munication style. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, slow-to-warm or quick-to-warm, in hand. She was holding the child in her lap and flexible or structured will affect your communica- rocking her back and forth. Her empathy and care tion strategies and the communication style you for others is always evident.” A DVD of the child develop with different family members in your is also a wonderful way to begin the meeting and program (Keyser, 2006: 35). can be used as a springboard for discussion. Every parent will be pleased to see their child in action in When presenting verbal messages, educators the playroom or learning in outdoors, especially for need to observe the different ways people take in those who are not always able to participate or be information through sensory modes. A teacher who there for the drop-off and pick-up. learns to communicate using words that reflect the The teacher should stress the importance of way the parent views and interacts with the world families and teachers regularly sharing informa- will have a better chance of enlisting the par- tion. The teacher may then move to a discussion of ent’s cooperation. To be effective communicators, the child’s portfolio. Materials in the portfolio can teachers must put their observation skills to work. be used to demonstrate the child’s personal devel- Family members may be too embarrassed or afraid opment, strengths, and learning goals. Families to say what they are really thinking or feeling. Edu- should be reassured by this demonstration that the cators must look for clues, beyond verbal messages teacher has a keen understanding of their child. to nonverbal indicators that a parent is becoming A well-organized portfolio is a particularly useful upset, restless, or confused, or doesn’t understand tool for inexperienced teachers in that it provides a what has been said. Reflect as well on the impact of structure that allows for an effective meeting. The culture in interactions between teachers and fami- teacher should encourage family input into the dis- lies; for example, the mother may defer to the father cussion of the portfolio and it should be clear what in these discussions. goals are being established for the child; strategies When disclosing information that may be of a for achieving these goals should be reviewed by the personal nature, educators should consider the teacher and family members. appropriateness of what they are about to say NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 233 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  As a rule, teachers should be conscious of talking only 50 percent of the time (Berger, 2000: 223). This experience should be a two-way conversation. They should refrain from changing the topic when family members are speaking, and they should be wary of overwhelming families with too much information. Teachers will need to trust their instincts and be sensitive to families’ needs when determining how much information to present at a meeting. Teachers should not feel the need to fill any silences during the meeting. These pauses may in fact be opportu- nities for a family member to take the lead in the discussion or to reflect on what has been said. Some- times it is important to give up the prepared agenda and just listen to what families are saying. You can Comstock Images/Thinkstock demonstrate that you are truly listening by demon- strating attentive behaviours while remaining silent. QUESTIONING STRATEGIES When considering the questions to ask, it is a good idea to ask the most important questions near the Meetings are opportunities to exchange and share beginning of the meeting. But the types of ques- important information. tions that teachers ask and how those questions are phrased can either facilitate or undermine commu- nication with family members. Open-ended ques- and whether their disclosure will be relevant and tions allow families to contribute as much as they constructive. feel comfortable doing. The following statements Active listening is another critical component of and questions could be used to draw reluctant or a teacher’s communication style. If family members hesitant parents into the conversation: leave, feeling that they did not receive an opportu- nity to discuss their concerns, they may be reluctant I’ve had so much to share with you and now to attend another meeting. There are times when I would really like to get some feedback just being able to talk to a sympathetic teacher who from you. is a good listener helps a family member to resolve What do you think Sari’s feelings are about the his or her problems. Active listening ensures that preschool room? teachers are connected to both the content and the emotions expressed, and demonstrates respect for What activities does Sari enjoy at the centre? the family. Are there activities that she doesn’t enjoy? INSIDE LOOK Sometimes I have used my own personal experience to help a parent feel more comfortable. I had one parent who broke down in the middle of a meeting. As a single mother, she was overwhelmed with the responsibilities of raising her son on her own, and her financial situation was a growing concern. I shared with her some my own struggles as a single mother. My ability to reveal my own challenges strengthened our relationship. We had something in common beyond our parent–teacher relationship and I was able to share with her some of the community resources that had helped me. 234 CHAPTER 7 NEL Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  I’ve talked about Sari at the centre, but I would 5. Divergent Goals: Conflict might result when a like to hear what you hope Sari will enjoy doing teacher and a parent have completely different here with us. goals. For example, a teacher who stresses cre- What responsibilities does Sari have at home? ativity and arts might come into conflict with a parent who values math and science above all. How do you feel about your involvement with 6. Psychological Needs: When psychological fac- the centre? tors such as self-esteem, feelings of belonging or How can I be more supportive of you and your happiness are threatened, people can sometimes family? become aggressive. A parent who thinks that a If a family member makes a statement that teacher has belittled them, or who believes their i­ ndicates concern, the teacher might paraphrase the child has been picked on, might lash out.* statement and ask for clarification: “You say that you are having trouble getting Sari to sleep. Could DEALING WITH DIFFICULT you tell me more about how she reacts when you SITUATIONS put her down?” Family members who seem anx- ious that their parenting skills will be criticized may No matter how well we do our job, there are always respond to promptings such as, “Many toddlers’ times when we have to deal with a difficult situa- parents are concerned about behavioural issues, so I tion. Adler et al. (2016: 353) state: wonder how you might be feeling about Sari’s inter- Despite wishes and cultural myths to the contrary, actions at home or at the centre.” conflict is a natural and unavoidable part of any relationship. Since conflict cannot be escaped, the challenge is how to deal with it so that it SOURCES OF CONFLICT strengthens a relationship rather than weakens it.† The Ontario English Catholic Teachers Associa- At times our lack of understanding of the cultural tion’s publication Building Positive Relationships with context of a situation may be a cause for concern. Parents (2016) provides guidelines in six main cat- Collectivist cultures value cooperation and interde- egories for handling conflict with a parent: pendent relationships, and sometimes conflict with 1. Resources: Conflicts occur when resources are an individualist culture that values independence limited. A parent with a special needs child and competition. For example: might not understand the lack of resources due to inadequate funding. A parent might Andrea and Neil brought their newborn, Alyssa, into their bed at night. They all slept comfortably not understand the teacher’s decision about and Andrea was able to breastfeed easily during the allocation of scarce resources in their class- the night. Sleeping together even made them feel room. If the resources needed are not available, closer as a family. But their friends, their paediatri- refer the parent to the school principal. cian, and their family all warned them to get her 2. Values: People might feel personally attacked into her own bed quickly or she would be spoiled. if they think their values are being threatened. They were very torn between what felt right and The real issue is not usually the difference in what their culture told them was right (Wittmer values, but the fear that one set of values is and Petersen, 2006: 36). being dominated. These conflicts can be the At the centre, if Alyssa is put to sleep in a sleep most difficult to resolve. room far away from caregivers and other c­ hildren, 3. Incongruent Role Expectations and she may have a very difficult time during this ­Behavioural Norms: A parent might have ­transition. Andrea and Neil may be shocked to find an expectation of a particular teaching style the babies in a dark room, confined in a crib with that is different from yours. Or a parent who no human contact. They may think it unduly harsh ­encourages a child to challenge authority ­figures might not accept the ­teacher’s disci- *Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association. 2016. Building pline of the child for “insubordination.” ­Positive Relationships with Parents. Toronto: OECTA. Reprinted with permission. 4. Incompatible Personalities: In some †From Adler, Ronald, et al., Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal instances, conflicts are simply due to differing Communication 4/Ce © Oxford University Press Canada 2016. ­personality types. Reprinted by permission of the publisher. NEL FORMAL FAMILY MEETINGS 235 Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.  to expect preschool children to lie by themselves positive attributes, the teacher reassured his mother on a cot a few feet from other children and not be that 2-year-olds often respond this way. At times allowed to touch them. children may be overwhelmed with the many pres- Co-sleeping is the norm in many cultures, and sures of growing up, may feel frustrated, but don’t bedtime and night wakings are not considered a yet have the vocabulary to express how they feel. problem. Human contact during sleep helps to The mother left the meeting much relieved and regulate body temperature, breathing, and heart with a growing affection for the teacher. rate, and has greatly reduced the incidence of SIDS But no doubt there will be situations that cannot (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). It also enables an be negotiated between the teacher and the parents, easier transition to breastfeeding. for example, corporal punishment. We need to help Teachers must be open to diversity and dedicated parents understand the negative impact of physical to respecting all perspectives while still considering coercion and emphasize that it is not allowed under what is in the child’s best interests. We need to be child-care regulations. creative at finding common ground in order to work in harmony and understanding with all cul- tures (Gonzalez-Mena and Bhavnagri, 2001: 91). BEING PROFESSIONAL UNDER PRESSURE THE SANDWICH APPROACH When families and teachers trust each other, small annoyances can often be overlooked, but we must Many teachers know the value of beginning in a always remember that very strong emotions will often positive manner, celebrating the strengths of the rise to the surface when families are discussing their child, dealing with the difficult issue, and then children. Professional assertiveness is important when ending again on a positive note—the sandwich addressing a difficult situation. A parent who becomes approach! When raising issues that may be diffi- angry may be acting out of fear of being misunderstood cult for families to hear, teachers must employ tact or not being heard. For some parents, their life situ- and sensitivity. Avoid language that lays blame or ation colours all of their interactions; illness, divorce, judgment or that labels the parent or child. Avoid change in employment, or financial issues may cause words such as behind or ahead, fast or slow, normal pressure that makes family l