Shape Module 4: Adolescent Life Skills PDF

SHAPE 1 HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents INTRODUCTION Adolescence is considered a time of opportunity as well as risk. It is a natural and healthy period of life, therefore, an opportu...

SHAPE 1 HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents INTRODUCTION Adolescence is considered a time of opportunity as well as risk. It is a natural and healthy period of life, therefore, an opportunity for an individual to grow and develop - physically, emotionally, and socially - to his or her full potential in preparation for adulthood. But there are adolescents who lose their lives or develop health or behavior problems that lead to disease and even death. In this sense, adolescence becomes a time of risk. In addition to learning about changing bodies, feelings, and social relationships, adolescents need to develop life skills that will enable them to build safe and productive relationships with family members, peers, friends, and romantic partners, and make their journey to adulthood safe, healthy, and happy. This final module highlights life skills like enhancing self-esteem, life planning, critical thinking, keeping a healthy lifestyle, gender-sensitivity and being responsible and respectful in relationships, staying safe and responsible when using the internet, communicating assertively, and making better choices. LEARNING OBJECTIVES At the end of this module, participants are able to: Knowledge Attitude Self-Efficacy Identify qualities they like and do not Show non-judgmental Demonstrate like about themselves; attitude about positive view about Discuss the importance of feeling good developing life skills oneself; about oneself; as adolescents; and Develop life plan Explain importance of life planning; Recognize that and personal Explain the considerations in keeping oneself fit vision; observing critical thinking; and strong is one way Demonstrate Describe ways to keep the body of achieving a good or gender-sensitivity hygienic, fit and healthy; high self-esteem. and ways of being Differentiate sex and gender; respectful and Describe how gender roles and norms responsible in affect relationships; relationships; Discuss benefits and harms of internet  Demonstrate use to adolescents; ways to Distinguish between beneficial and communicat HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE 2 SHAPE Knowledge Attitude Self-Efficacy harmful online materials; e clearly, Describe ways to use social media and directly, and the internet safely, respectfully and respectfully responsibly; in Discuss the importance of assertive uncomfortab communication; and le situations; Discuss the importance of making and better choices. Demonstrate ways to make better choices. 3 HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE  Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) Pretest Describe skills in Life skills 30 minutes coping and adapting in matrix life situations Session 4.1 Discuss the Pat on the Back Meaning of self- Piece of 45 minutes importance of having Recipe for High esteem paper (bond Harnessing my a positive self-esteem Self-Esteem Signs of high and paper) Self-Esteem and confidence low self-esteem pens Causes of low self- tape LEARNING SESSIONS esteem large sheets Effects of low self- of paper esteem on one’s (Manila, life craft, or Ways to boost cartolina) self-esteem and makers confidence cooking Session 4.2 Discuss the My Personal Life planning Piece of 45 minutes importance setting Inventory bond paper My Life Plan personal direction and Blueprint of my Pen life goals Life HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 4 5 Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) SHAPE Session 4.3 Discuss the The Human Critical thinking Copy of case 45 minutes importance of making Knot Making better scenarios Making better choices, critical “Making Better choices Responsible thinking, and solving Choices” Choices problems Demonstrate ways to make better choices and rationally solving problems Session 4.4 Describe ways to keep Poster-making Skin and hair care Poster-size 45 minutes the body hygienic, fit “Retouch” your Body odor papers, Living a and healthy posters Oral hygiene various art Healthy Recognize that living Personal hygiene materials, Lifestyle and keeping healthy Physical activity markers, lifestyle is one way of Healthy eating scissors, achieving good or high Healthy sleep glue, HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE self-esteem habits tape  Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) Session 4.5 Differentiate sex and “He or she?” Sex and gender Slips of 60 minutes gender “forced or How gender role paper Being Gender- Describe how gender desired” is learned Pens Sensitive, roles and norms affect Gender identity Box Respectful and relationships Gender-based Copy of Responsible in Demonstrate ways of violence “forced or Relationships being gender- Respectful and desired” sensitive, respectful responsible statements and responsible in relationships relationships Session 4.6 Discuss benefits and “One, Two, What is internet? Cellphone 45 minutes harms of internet use Three, Freeze!” Uses of the with internet Being to adolescents Take 2: “One, internet access Respectful and Distinguish between Two, Three, Harms from use of Responsible beneficial and harmful Freeze!” internet Online online materials Some ways to be Describe ways to use safe, respectful, social media and the and responsible internet safely, online respectfully, and Pornography in responsibly the internet HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 6 7 Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) SHAPE Guide to distinguishing harmful and not harmful sexual images in the internet Session 4.7 Discuss the “Pass the Factors affecting Copy of 45 minutes importance of Message” ability to situations Communicating assertive Role Play in communicate Assertively communication Pairs Communicating Demonstrate ways to clearly, directly, communicate clearly, and firmly directly, and Communication in respectfully in sexual uncomfortable relationships situations Post-test Describe life skills in Life skills 30 minutes HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE certain situations matrix  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents MODULE OVERVIEW Discuss the following opening messages: 1. As you develop your identity and independence, you also start to dream and aspire for the things that you want to be and do in the future. If we take them seriously, it becomes a driving force for all the things that we do and in making decisions. 2. As you grow through adolescence, you will have a lot of decisions to make. As previously discussed, there are important decisions in your life that may define the rest of your life. As such, you need to have the necessary knowledge and skills that can make your positive decisions or choices that have impact on your development. These skills do not only make your future more safe, secure, and enabling but can also make your journey through adolescents a fulfilling and enjoyable one. 3. Among the important skills that you need to have a safe, healthy, and responsible life includes critical thinking or making better choices, having a positive self-esteem, being gender-sensitive and responsible relationships, communicating assertively, and having a healthy lifestyle. 4. In this module, we will go through the following sessions: a. In SESSION 4.1. (HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM), you will develop or boost your self-esteem by reflecting first, on how you regard yourself and second, on how co- participants see you in a positive way. It is hoped that at the end of this session, you feel good, if not better, about yourself. b. In SESSION 4.2 (MY LIFE PLAN), you will reflect on your life vision and goals that you will pursue to realize throughout your life. These aspirations shall serve as your guideposts in pursuing your passion, interests, and in any decisions that you will make. c. In SESSION 4.3 (MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES), you will learn about the importance of having critical thinking and other ways of making better choices for you to have a healthy, safe, and happy adolescence. d. In SESSION 4.4 (LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE), you will explore ways to keep yourself tidy, clean, and physically fit so you feel good about yourself and become happy. Feeling happy about your body improves self-esteem. HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE 8 SHAPE e. In SESSION 4.5 (BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS), we will look at your differences as boys and girls not only physically but also socially - how you behave and relate with each other as boys and girls. In this session, we will look at the way you are reared as boys and girls, and how that kind of rearing affects your behavior in romantic and sexual relationships. f. In SESSION 4.6 (BEING RESPECTFUL AND RESPONSIBLE ONLINE), you will talk about the internet – how it affects young people’s life nowadays. We will talk about the benefits as well as the harm it brings especially to children and young people like you. More importantly, we will explore ways to keep you safe while you use the internet and also ways for you to become respectful and responsible digital citizens (users of internet)! g. In SESSION 4.7 (COMMUNICATING ASSERTIVELY), you will learn and practice ways to express yourself in clear, direct, and respectful ways when you are in uncomfortable situations. 9 HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents PRE-TEST OBJECTIVE Participants are able to describe their skills in dealing and adapting with life challenges. Duration: 30 minutes 1. Explain that this is a pretest activity and participants should not worry because they will not be asked to provide facts and figures. Instead, they will be asked to describe their skills in coping and dealing with life everyday situations, challenges, and tasks. 2. Give each participant a copy of the matrix below. Instruct them to complete the sentence with their response for each phrase. Situations Life Skills (Response) a. I love my self because... b. Whenever somebody gives me negative comment about my physical appearance, I... c. My goal or aspiration in life is... d. I will pursue my life goal through the following... e. Whenever I make decision, I usually do the following... f. The food that are part of my everyday diet includes… g. Whenever I see men harassing women, I do the following... h. Whenever I see men harassing gays or homosexuals, I do the following… i. I protect myself from cyberbullying by... j. When a person insists his or her idea on me, I usually respond by… HAVING A SAFE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY ADOLESCENCE 10 SHAPE Session 4.1. HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM 11 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Identify their own strengths, interests, and good qualities that enhances their self- worth and self-esteem. 2. Explain the importance and ways of having a positive self-esteem in achieving their potentials and aspirations. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 45 minutes For Opening Activity Big group activity Precut papers (Cartolina or its equivalent) in and discussion heart-shaped figures (about the size of a bond paper) Markers For Closing Activity Large sheets of paper Markers Coloring materials OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 1). Twin Hearts 1. Introduce the activity by instructing the participants to label the heart figure into two. The left column to be labelled as “The Best of Me,” and the right column as “The Worst of Me.” Allot 10 minutes for this activity. 2. In the left column, ask the participants to identify what they like (positive thoughts and qualities) about themselves. In the right column, let them write the negative things and qualities about themselves. 3. Instruct the participants to reflect on what they have written. 4. Process the activity by asking: a. What went on in your mind while you were reflecting on your strengths? On your weaknesses? HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM 12 SHAPE b. How important it is to know what is best in you and what you need to change and improve in yourself? c. What did you realize from the activity? 5. Conclude the activity by saying: a. Your strengths are characteristics that you treasure and can truly be proud of. These are the things and qualities that you can nurture to build a positive self- worth and self-esteem. A positive evaluation and acceptance of one’s self is important in achieving your dreams and potentials. It is also critical in building and maintaining a harmonious and meaningful relationships with others. In this session, we will further discuss how we can enhance our capacity 6. Proceed to discuss the Key Learning Points. OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 2). Pat at the Back 1. Ask everyone to form a circle and give each one a piece of paper and marker. 2. Give the following instructions: a. Tape the paper on your back. b. Move around and write a positive comment about your co-participant on the paper taped on their back. Try to reach out to as many participants as you can. c. After writing on the paper, give that person a “pat” on his or her back. d. After everyone has finished writing on the back of everyone, take off the paper from your back and read each comment on it. e. Share the positive comments written on your paper to the big group. 3. Further engage the participants in a discussion by asking: a. How did you feel while thinking of a positive comment for each one? Was it easy or hard? Why was it easy or hard? 13 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents b. How did you feel receiving all the positive comments from everyone? c. How did you feel receiving a “pat on the back”? d. How do you see or feel about yourself now? e. What have you realized from the exercise? 4. Synthesize the sharing by stating that: a. Every one of us has a basic need and craving to “feel good” about ourselves. Self- esteem is the evaluation an individual makes about him/herself. It is a personal judgment of one’s worthiness. KEY MESSAGES 1. Self-esteem is feeling good about ourselves and feeling that we are a worthwhile person. It is important because it shows ourselves how we view the way we are and the sense of our personal value.1 Thus, it affects the way we are and how we behave and relate with others. a. Self-esteem is a basic human need or motivation. Without the fulfillment of the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and unable to grow and obtain self-actualization. The healthiest expression of self-esteem "is the one which manifests in respect we deserve for others, more than renown, fame, and flattery."2 b. There are two different forms of "esteem": the need for respect from others in the form of recognition, success, and admiration, and the need for self-respect in the form of self-love, self-confidence, skill, or aptitude.3 c. “High self-esteem is a quiet, comfortable feeling of total acceptance and love for yourself — as you are. It is respecting and valuing yourself as a worthwhile human being, honestly seeing your good and not-so-good qualities, and taking care of and nurturing yourself so you can become all that you are capable of being. High self-esteem is characterized by congruence between inner states (beliefs, feelings, attitudes) and outer states (behavior, relationships, health).”4 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM 14 SHAPE d. You have a high or positive self-esteem when you5: Have an internal locus of control; getting "okayness" from within, not from others. Take care of yourself — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. ○ Taking care of oneself includes being healthy by eating nutritious food, maintaining proper grooming and hygiene, and avoiding risky behaviors that affects your health and well-being (e.g. smoking, drinking, etc.). Maintain a balance between extremes of thought, feeling, and behavior; when out-of-balance, act to correct. Learn from mistakes and being able to say, "I made a mistake, I’m sorry." Manage your life responsibly. Honor or respect individual differences among people. Listen to other points of view. Take responsibility for your own perceptions and reactions; not projecting onto others. Have the ability to listen to your wise inner self (your intuition) and to act on this guidance. Demonstrate self-respect, self-confidence, and self-acceptance. Know your own strengths and weaknesses. Choose continuous self-improvement and taking positive risks. Feel warm and loving towards yourself. Give and receive love easily, with no strings attached. e. You have a low self-esteem when you: Self-blame, self-criticize, or constantly put others down through guilt, blame, shame or faultfinding. Over- or under-achieving, eating, working, doing, etc. Play the victim, rationalizing that outside circumstances are the cause of your problems. Do not take responsibility for your own life, or turn power over to another to make decisions for you, then felt victimized if the results are not to your liking. Take undo responsibility for the lives of others; dominating and making decisions for them. Fear change and reluctant to take risks, or too much change, taking dangerous, unwise risks. Nurture constant negativity, or being so optimistic that reality is denied. React to others with extreme emotion or no emotion. 15 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents Boastful, overbearing behavior around others, or inability to maintain integrity during interactions. Demand to be "right," needing to have agreement or have your own way most of the time, or constantly acquiescing to the will and opinions of others. Constantly compare yourself to others and thereby feeling inferior or superior. Take black-white, either-or thinking. (e.g. believing that a person is either good or bad based on rigid standards of good and bad behavior). Have pervasive deep-seated feelings of fear, terror, or panic. Speak with lots of should’s, ought’s, could-haves, and yes-buts. Interprets the hurtful words or actions of others as proof of your unworthiness. 2. Self-esteem is the foundation of your life.6 You have the power and choice to build and live your life to what you want it to be. a. Begin by knowing yourself – your beliefs, values, interests, and aspirations. Take actions and behaviors that support your growth and highest good. Remember that you alone have the power to change yourself and your inner world. b. Endeavor to learn and live the attitude and behaviors of people with high self- esteem and avoid those that can make you develop a low self-esteem (refer to the signs of having a high and low self-esteem as discussed earlier – Key Message Nos. 1.d. and 1.e.). c. As you gradually develop and live the positive beliefs about yourself, your feelings about yourself will improve. This in turn will affect your actions, accomplishments, and relationships and you will experience more love, joy, abundance, and satisfaction in life. d. High self-esteem is like a seed, it needs to be planted in yourself and nurtured by positive attitude, beliefs, and actions towards yourself and others in order for it to grow and bear fruits. 3. Synthesis of the session: a. Self-esteem is feeling good about ourselves and feeling that we are a worthwhile person. HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM 16 SHAPE b. Self-esteem is respecting and valuing yourself as a worthwhile human being, honestly seeing your good and not-so-good qualities, and taking care of and nurturing yourself so you can become all that you are capable of being. c. Self-esteem is the foundation of your life. 7 You have the power and choice to build your life to what you want it to be. CLOSING ACTIVITY (OPTION 1). Nurturing my Self-Esteem 1. Form same-sex, small groups (three to four groups). If there are participants who identify with the LGBT group, form a separate group for them if they want to. 2. Instruct the groups to: a. Discuss signs of low self-esteem they experience and what they think might be causing them. b. Talk about steps to boost their self-esteem by creating a “recipe”–identifying “ingredients” and “cooking steps.” 3. Make an illustration of the recipe using a large sheet of paper, markers, and coloring materials. 4. Give each group three (3) minutes to present its recipe. 5. Gather comments and recommendations from the other groups on improving the “recipe.” 6. Conclude the activity by stating: a. Having a high self-esteem is not about telling everyone how wonderful you are. It is more about trying your best, realizing that you will not always succeed but will always be willing to go on. When you feel good that you are a positive person, others will respect you and will want to be around you. 17 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents CLOSING ACTIVITY (OPTION 2). The Parable of the Pencil 1. Present or read or distribute a copy of the “Parable of the Pencil” to the participants. You may access an audio-visual presentation or video clips for the parable from www.youtube.com or other video-sharing sites. 2. Give them time to reflect on the parable. The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside just before putting him into the box. “There are five things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be. ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand. TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil. THREE: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. FOUR: The most important part of you will always be what's inside. FIVE: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.” 3. Encourage participants to share their reflections to their seatmates. 4. Process and synthesize their responses: a. What did you feel about the parable? b. What is the most important lesson you gained from the parable in relation to the way you see yourself right now? c. How do you think you can apply such important lesson to improve your self- esteem? 5. Close the activity by stating: a. We all need to be constantly sharpened. This parable shows how special we are. Each of us has unique talents and abilities. Let us never allow ourselves to be discouraged and think that we are insignificant and cannot be changed. Just like the pencil, the most important part of who we are is what is inside of us. HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM 18 SHAPE CLOSING ACTIVITY (OPTION 3). Whip Statements 1. Ask the participants to think of the three most important things they have learned/realized from the session and how can they apply such lesson in their real life. 2. Ask them to write the following whip statements: a. The three most important things I learned/realized… b. Because of these learnings/realizations, I will… 3. Give them three (3) minutes to complete the statements. Ask four (4) participants to share what they have written. 4. Close the activity by stating: a. Self-acceptance is loving who you are. It is lifelong contract to yourself that enables you to continue improving and achieving your dreams and potentials to the fullest. Self-esteem, therefore, is something that grows throughout a person’s life. 19 HARNESSING MY SELF-ESTEEM  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents Session 4.2. MY LIFE PLAN MY LIFE PLAN 20 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Discuss the importance of setting personal direction and life goals. 2. Set a personal vision statement and plan of activities to achieve them. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 90 minutes Small notebook with at least 50 leaves Individual activity Colored paper Glue or adhesive Scissors Markers or coloring pens Old newspapers or magazines ACTIVITY 1. #TheBestOfMe 1. Give each participant a notebook. Put other materials in a place where the participants can easily access. 2. Introduce the activity: a. Teenage years are great and exciting moments in your life. You have lots of things going on and plenty of possibilities that lie ahead of you. As you enjoy those teenage moments, you will be faced with plenty of choices. One of the greatest choices you will make is what you want to be or become in the future. b. To be able for you to do that, the first step is to know yourself well – your interests, passion, and things that motivates you. You need to get in touch with yourself to be able to decide for a future that is aligned with what you personally (not by your parents or significant others) want to be and to do. c. As you are engaged in the excitement of teen life, most of you do not really invest time to get in touch with our deeper self. Self-awareness is a powerful tool we can use to gain better control of our life. In this activity, you will try to give yourselves some moments of reflection to discover the best of yourselves. 21 MY LIFE PLAN  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 3. Instruct the participants: a. With the notebook given to you, for 20 minutes, you will try to make a scrapbook or creative journal containing the following information or images: First leaf: How do you describe yourself? (Personal Information - your name; self-description; and other personal information you would like to post). Second leaf: What are your interests, hobbies, and things that you would like to do? Third leaf: What are your strengths and positive attributes? Fourth leaf: What are your values (things that are important to you), beliefs and principles (things that you believe in that is guiding you in your decisions)? Fifth leaf: Who or what inspires or motivates you? Sixth: What makes you happy? b. Answer the questions or provide the information in your notebook through arts, graphics, images (from cutouts) or other creative or artistic way of reflecting your answers in your notebook. c. Keep your work and share it to your co-participants if you want. 2. Process the activity by asking: a. What is the most difficult question you have answered? b. What is the most significant or important discovery you made about yourself through the activity? c. What did you realize from the activity? 3. Proceed to discuss the key messages below. KEY MESSAGES 1. As a teenager you can explore a whole set of options and possibilities to learn more about yourself and the world around you. MY LIFE PLAN 22 SHAPE a. As you set your identity and individuality, get in touch with your interests, strengths, and positive attributes that you can nurture to decide what you want to be in your life. b. As of now, you may not be sure what you want for the various aspects of your life (e.g. education, career, marriage, etc.) in the future as you are enjoying the greatest moment of your life. However, being in touched with yourself – your interests, passions, and inspirations – you may begin to clearly visualize the kind of future you want for yourself. 2. Keep your personal life journal and constantly update and refer to it to motivate yourself towards the achievement of your aspirations. ACTIVITY 2. # MyLifeGoals 1. Introduce the activity: a. Now that you have an appreciation of your interests, strengths, and inspirations, you already have some idea of how huge is your potential and the various possibilities that you can pursue. You can now imagine yourself in the future – the things that you are doing excellently and the person you want to be. b. In this activity, you will try to envision and commit to a future you want for yourself. 2. Give the following instructions: a. You will continue to work on your creative journals. b. Life goals are the things that you want to accomplish or aspire for in life. They are the things that you want to be or to do. Now, reflect on your previous work (in the first activity – your interests, strengths, and positive attributes about yourself). Based on these, try to reflect on the things that you want to accomplish in your life or the conditions that you want to become in the future. In twenty years (or select a period you want) from now, how would you like to see or describe yourself in terms of the following: ○ Career or Profession? (What career or profession are you excelling in or enjoying?) 23 MY LIFE PLAN  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents ○ Financial status? (How much are you earning? How stable are you financially?) ○ Physical or health? (What health condition do you have?) ○ Family? (What kind of relationship do you have with your family as a parent and as spouse, or as a son or daughter? Do you have your own family? How many children do you have?) ○ Social relationships (What kind of relationship do you have with your friends and social network or the community you live in?) ○ Community participation (What is your involvement in your community?) ○ Spiritual? (What kind of relationship do you have with your God? How can you describe your spiritual wellbeing?) c. Similar to the first activity, for 20 minutes, allocate a page for each of the aspect of your life goals. Label each page with the corresponding aspect (e.g. My Life Goals for Career, My Life Goals for Financial Status, etc.). For each aspect, creatively or artistically express your life goals through images, figures, cut-outs, drawings, or texts. Be imaginative and creative as you can! If you are not yet sure of what you want in life, it is okay. Just write them down (as many as you can) and get back or reflect on them more seriously in your free time after this training or session. Do not be pressured to have a goal if you are not yet prepared. It is important that you have started to think about what are important for you today and the things that you want in the future. This is a big accomplishment already! d. After you have finished your work, take a picture of each of your life goals and make an electronic collage using an available picture editing application in your cellphone. Post your collage in your social media account, in your cellphone wallpaper, or in any application that can remind you constantly about your life goals. You may also post your picture in your journal or other personal things for you to be reminded always. You may also share your outputs with your co- participants. MY LIFE PLAN 24 SHAPE 4. Process the activity: a. How did you feel about your life goals? What life goals did you feel passionate about? b. What insights did you realize from the activity? 5. Proceed to the discussion of the key messages. KEY MESSAGES 1. Being young and carefree, you may not have thought about what you want in your life. But if you want to have a great life today and in the future, it is time to plan for your life and then set goals to achieve them. a. Young people like you may think it is too early to plan out your life. But the choices and decisions you make today will determine the kind of future you will have. As such, it is important for you to have a sense of direction in your life right now to guide you in ensuring a bright future where you are living your dreams and aspirations. b. Teens who live without purpose or an eye on the future won’t be ready for college or a career, and won’t have the skills to be successful and independent adults.8 c. Life goals help you to focus through your adolescence journey, to realize set achievements, and be motivated during the time when you feel you like giving up. Focusing means allocating your resources, efforts, and time more efficiently. d. Your life goals may likewise serve as your purpose in life – the motivation for you to strive and live meaningfully. e. It enables you to focus when life goals are written down in a journal or personal calendar since it constantly reminds you of such goals. It directs your attention to what is important or what matters for you to prevent behaviors that may derail or constrain you to achieve such goals. If it is written, you can also readily check how near are you from those goals with every accomplishments and mistakes you make. 25 MY LIFE PLAN  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents f. Goal setting fuels ambition and confidence by encouraging determination through difficult times and offering a sense of pride and accomplishment when success finally arrives. It creates a sense of clarity and connection between the process of working hard and accomplishing something significant. MY LIFE PLAN 26 SHAPE g. Do not be afraid to commit errors or mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and make them as leverage to move on and take greater heights. 2. As you discover yourself, gain experience, and develop new perspectives in life, your life goals may also change. It is then important to constantly check your life goals. ACTIVITY 3. Dream Big, Play Small 1. Introduce the activity: a. Our life goals are the “big picture” or the great purpose for which we committed to live our lives. However, goals, no matter how big they are, can only be achieved by small feats. b. Now that we have set our life goals, we continue by laying down our specific action plan in achieving them. c. In this activity, you will draw your plan to win the greatest game of your life – your life goals. 2. Give the following instructions: a. You will continue to work on your creative journals. b. For this exercise, choose one to two life goals you have identified in your journal. After selecting the goal, creatively write or draw in a new page of your journal things or actions that you can do to achieve that goal. These actions may be small steps such as devoting more time for studies and lesser time for social media (for your career goals) or playing sports more regularly (for your health goals). Identify realistic activities that can also challenge you to improve on yourself or to do greater things. 27 MY LIFE PLAN  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents c. After you have finished your work, take a picture of each of your action plan and make an electronic collage using an available picture editing application in your cellphone. Post your collage in your social media account, in your cellphone wallpaper, or in any application that can remind you constantly about your action plan. You may also post your picture in your journal or other personal things for you to be reminded always. You may also share your outputs with your co-participants. 6. Process the activity: a. How did you feel about the actions that you identified? What actions are the most challenging for you? b. What insights did you realize from the activity? 7. Remind the participants: a. After this training, spare some time to finish your journal with identifying actions or steps to achieve your other life goals. You may also want to transfer your work in a more beautiful or personal journal which you will constantly check. Remember, this journal will be for a lifetime. Make it as your most valuable possession – take care of it and continue harnessing it with your life experiences. 8. Proceed to the discussion of the key messages. KEY MESSAGES 1. Your goals become a lot less daunting when you focus on the smaller, more accessible steps you need to take to achieve them. You can constantly remind yourself to take things just one step at a time. It makes everything manageable. a. You dream big and play small. Take doable steps that can help you nearer to your life goals. Small feats and victories can propel you to greater heights. 2. Always remember: You have the power to live your dreams! Laging piliin ang pangarap at huwag ipagpalit sa sandaling sarap! MY LIFE PLAN 28 SHAPE 3. Synthesis of the session: a. As a teenager you can explore a whole set of options and possibilities to learn more about yourself and the world around you. b. As young as you are, it is important for you to plan for your life and then set goals to achieve them if you want to live a healthy, happy, and successful life today and in the future. c. Your goals become a lot less daunting when you focus on the smaller, more accessible steps you need to take to achieve them. You can constantly remind yourself to take things just one step at a time. It makes everything manageable. 29 MY LIFE PLAN  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents Session 4.3. MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES 30 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Discuss the importance of making better choices, critical thinking, and solving problems. 2. Demonstrate ways to make better choices and rationally solving problems. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 45 minutes Piece of paper where the life situations Group activity are written OPENING ACTIVITY. The Human Knot 1. To introduce the topic, ask participants to give examples of decisions they have to make every day. For example: what time to get up; what clothes to wear; whether to eat breakfast or not, among others. List their examples on the board. 2. Point out that: a. Like adults, adolescents make decisions and choices every day. b. Each time you decide and choose, you are responsible for the consequences that accompany each choice. These decisions may have life-long and irreversible repercussions, especially in view of the life goals you have set in the previous session. It may also affect our relationship with others. c. As such, it is important for adolescents to be critical and intelligent in making choices and decisions. 3. Instruct the participants with the following: a. Form two groups. Gather your group and stand closely to each other forming a circle. 31 MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents b. Individually, reach out at the center and hold hands with two different people in the circle excluding the people to either side of you. c. After forming a human knot, untangle the “knot” without letting go of each other’s hands. d. Take your time and make sure no one gets hurts or their arm twisted in the process. 4. When the two groups have untangled their “knot,” congratulate them and ask everyone for a round of applause. 5. Process the activity by asking: a. How did you find the activity? Was it difficult? What made it difficult? b. Who among you did most of the instructions? What did you feel about taking the lead or contributing to the solution? c. Who among you kept silent? Why did you not involve yourselves in the group’s decision-making process? d. What made you successful in untangling the knot? What made you fail in untangling the knot? e. What did you feel while doing the activity? f. What did you realize from the activity especially in relation to making decisions? 6. Continue processing the activity with the key messages below. KEY MESSAGES 1. As you grow through adolescence, you make a lot of choices and decisions. Your capacity to make good decisions can set you for success later in life. Additionally, it can make you closer to your dreams and aspirations. MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES 32 SHAPE a. Decision-making is all about choosing between two or more courses of action. In every decision, there are either positive or negative consequences that you have to take. That is why it is important to choose and decide wisely. b. As adolescents, you make potentially life-altering decisions every single day. Yet, many young people like you are not given the skills on how to make healthy or rational decisions. As a result, some of you struggle when you are faced with difficult decisions to make. c. Making a choice or a decision, especially those with life-long consequences, needs to be carefully and cautiously done. 2. In making any choice or decision, you have to ACT – Assess the situation or problem; Create choices and options; and Take action. This is a cyclical process: a. ASSESS THE SITUATION OR PROBLEM What is the situation or the challenge? ○ First, you have to determine the real issue or problem. Is it something you should take in mind? Is it really a problem situation? Does the situation require you to act? Is it urgent or important? ○ In determining the issue or problem, gather as many pertinent information as you can to guide you in coming up with effective decisions. Do not act or take choices without understanding the situation or the issue before you. ○ Your sources of information may be from within you – reflecting on your feelings, knowledge, attitude, values, and principles about the issue. You 33 MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents may also consult other people such as your parents or other people (e.g. teachers, peer educators, service providers, experts) who could provide you with accurate information on the nature of the situation or the challenge you are facing. Do not also rely on your peers who have no adequate or accurate information about the issues you are facing. ○ Here are the guide questions in assessing the situation or the problem: ▪ What is the problem or situation all about? (e.g. Your friends are urging you to skip class) ▪ What is the action required of me? (e.g. To skip class and join your friends outside the school) ▪ What information do I need to understand the situation or the problem? (e.g. Is the action you are required to take legal or not breaking any rules? What activities will you do outside the school? Are these activities legal or morally right? Is it the right thing to do?) b. CREATE CHOICES OR OPTIONS What are your choices or options in dealing with the issue or problem? What courses of actions you can take? What are their corresponding consequences? ○ As you collect information, identify several possible paths of action, or alternatives you can take based on your understanding of the issue or situation. You can also use your imagination and additional information to construct new alternatives. In this step, you will list all possible and desirable alternatives from which you can choose. ○ Draw on your information and emotions to imagine what it would be like if you carried out each of the alternatives to the end. Evaluate whether the need identified in your assessment of the situation would be met or resolved through the use of each alternative. ○ As you go through this difficult internal process, you will begin to favor certain alternatives: those that seem to have a higher potential for reaching your goal. Finally, place the alternatives in a priority order, based on your own value system. MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES 34 SHAPE ○ Here are the guide questions in creating options: ▪ What are my options? (e.g. Do I say yes or no to my friends?) ▪ For each option, what will more likely happen or its anticipated consequences for me and to other people involved? ▪ Are you willing and able to be accountable for such consequences? ▪ What options are more aligned with my values, principles, and life goals? ▪ How do I feel about each option? ▪ Do I need to decide now? ▪ Do I need more information about each option? ▪ Do I need help in making the decision? Whom shall I consult? ▪ What are the priority options? 35 MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents c. TAKE ACTION With the carefully weighed options, take the most appropriate or best action suited for the situation. ○ Choose the best option that is available for you. Have a strong stand about your decision as you have carefully rationalized or thought about. ○ The long-time FOUR-WAY TEST of the rotary club can help you choose the best decision: ▪ Is it the TRUTH? ▪ Is it FAIR to all concerned? ▪ Will it build GOODWILL or BETTER FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP? ▪ Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned? After deciding or acting, it is also important for you to evaluate or assess your decision. ○ For each action you make, it is important to reflect on the learning or insights you can get to make you a better person. ○ Do not be afraid that you committed mistakes. “Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.” (George Bernard Shaw) CLOSING ACTIVITY. Making Better Decisions 1. Write each of the following situations on a piece of paper. Fold each paper and place them in a box or bowl. a. SITUATION 1 Jeff and his friends are at the park (or in a mall). Some boys from another high school whom Jeff and his friends do not like are also in the park. One of those boys is dating Jeff’s ex-girlfriend and Jeff does not like it. Jeff’s friends want to pick a fight with those boys, but Jeff is not sure whether he wants to get into a fight. What are Jeff’s options and what should he do? MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES 36 SHAPE b. SITUATION 2 Mercy and Brandon have been dating for four months. Both have openly expressed their attraction for each other. Lately, Brandon asked Mercy to have sex with him. But Mercy is not sure about having sex with him. She is only 16 and has promised to herself that she will only have sex with the man she marries. Brandon is 18, attractive and has had sex with his past girlfriend. Mercy is confused. She does not want to lose Brandon. What are Mercy’s options and what should she do? c. SITUATION 3 Leila, 14, has been feeling depressed lately. Nothing seems to be going right in her life. She is lesbian and in a relationship with another girl. She has kept this secret from her family. She thinks her parents and siblings will not accept her. Lately, she is always fighting with her mother; her girlfriend wants to break up with her; she doesn’t have close friends to talk to; and her grades in school have been dropping low. Leila is starting to think that killing herself might be the answer. What are Leila’s options and what should she do? d. SITUATION 4 Mike has been smoking marijuana with his friends lately and enjoys getting high. His parents have no idea what he is doing; everything is going fine with him in school and at home. This coming weekend, he and his friends are going to a party where there will be plenty of marijuana, and he heard that there will be shabu, too. He is thinking if he will try shabu. He thinks that trying it once will not be harmful. What are Mike’s options and what should he do? 2. Divide the group into four small groups. Ask a representative from each group to pick out one paper from the box. 3. Instruct groups to: a. read and analyze the situation written on the paper and answer the question asked using the ACT Decision-Making Model; and b. present in plenary the choice they have made. 37 MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 4. After each group’s presentation, gather feedback from the other groups and together agree on the best choice or decision for each situation. 5. Process the activity by asking: a. From among the situations, what was the most challenging? b. What did you feel about the process? Particularly during the time when you were deciding on the options to take? c. What insights did you learn from the activity? 6. As final message, say: a. Decision-making is a skill that will take time for you to develop and master. Just keep on practicing those steps until you have mastered them. Always remember, do not rush to make decisions especially those that have life-long or significant consequences. MAKING RESPONSIBLE CHOICES 38 SHAPE Session 4.4. LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 39 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Describe ways to keep the body fit, hygienic, and healthy. 2. Explain the importance of promoting adolescents' healthy lifestyle and identifying protective factors in the context of their physical development and wellbeing. 3. Recognize that living and keeping a healthy lifestyle is one way of achieving a high self-esteem. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 45 minutes For Opening Activity: Group activity Zumba music video For Closing Activity: Colored papers or posters Markers Coloring pens OPENING ACTIVITY. Zumba 1. This session is best conducted as the first activity in the morning. 2. Gather the participants outdoor or (in the absence of an outdoor venue) let them stand on their place. 3. Instruct the participants to dance following the steps demonstrated in the video. Do the Zumba dance for around five (5) to 10 minutes. 4. Process the activity by asking: a. How did you feel while doing the activity? b. What do you think is the importance of being physically active as an adolescent? LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 40 SHAPE 5. Introduce the key message of the session: a. As you grow through adolescence and develop self-esteem, it is important that you take care of yourself physically. You need to take care of your health and your overall well-being. In this session, let us learn some skills on how to have a healthy lifestyle. KEY MESSAGES 1. Preventing risky behavior and promoting healthy choices among adolescents can yield positive health outcomes, not just during adolescence, but also during adulthood.9 a. Many young people engage in a wide range of unhealthy habits, such as inadequate nutritional intake, rest and exercise, as well as risk behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcoholic beverage, and drug use that lead to adverse health outcomes. Many of these are associated with serious health problems such as cardiac or respiratory diseases, cancer, complicated pregnancies or deliveries, and psychological disorders in later life.10 b. Many of the factors that contribute to health risks are preventable if identified and changed at an early stage. Therefore, the promotion of healthy behaviors among young people is essential. c. A healthy lifestyle is a way of living that lowers the risk of being seriously ill or dying early (World Health Organization). It helps in keeping and improving people's health and well-being. d. As teenagers, it is important for you to develop healthy lifestyle habits and a positive body image to ensure good health and wellbeing during and after adolescence. 2. To have good health and well-being, you should focus on the following: a. Physical health – taking care of your body. Exercise regularly – BE ACTIVE! 41 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents ○ Teens should be physically active at least 60 minutes every day. Daily physical activity is a great way to keep your body healthy. It helps to make you strong and agile, and makes your heart and lungs work better, too. ○ Getting fit and keeping fit is a great way to use your time, feel good about yourself, make new friends, and improve your chances of having good health. Eat a healthy and well-balanced diet ○ Taking healthy and nutritious food or diet is an important part of your physical growth and development during adolescence. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, a variety of protein foods, and low- fat dairy products to make sure you are getting the nutrition you need. Try to eat plenty of protein found in fish, meat, cheese, milk, eggs, and beans. ○ You also need complex carbohydrates. They are found in rice, corn, sweet potatoes, and other root crops. For your vitamins and minerals, you must eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables of different types and colors. LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 42 SHAPE ○ Drink plenty of water and avoid processed and sweetened beverages. ○ Avoid “junk food” or those that have too much of things that you do not need, or do not contain what we mostly need. Maintain a healthy weight ○ Children and teenagers with obesity are more likely to have obesity as an adult. They are also at higher risk for other chronic illnesses, depression, and bullying. ○ Avoid unhealthy diet practices or eating disorders such as Anorexia, Bulimia, and binge eating disorder in maintaining your desired weight. ▪ People with anorexia have a real fear of weight gain and a distorted view of their body size and shape. As a result, they eat very little and can become dangerously underweight. Many teens with anorexia restrict their food intake by dieting, fasting, or exercising excessively. They hardly eat at all and very conscious of their calorie intake. People with anorexia are very thin and underweight. ▪ People with bulimia excessively eat and then try to compensate in extreme ways such as making themselves throw up or exercising all the time to prevent weight gain. Over time, these steps can be dangerous — both physically and emotionally. They can also lead to compulsive behaviors (ones that are hard to stop). People with bulimia may be on average weight or can be overweight. ▪ People with binge eating disorder is similar to anorexia and bulimia because a person binges regularly on food (at least once a week, but typically more often). But unlike the other eating disorders, a person with binge eating disorder does not try to “compensate” by purging the food. ▪ Eating disorders can lead to the development of serious physical health problems such as heart conditions or kidney failure. Get enough and good sleep ○ Teens need about eight (8) to ten (10) hours of sleep each night to function best. However, many adolescents sleep less than eight (8) hours. ○ Having good sleep habits indeed can make significant impact on your health and wellbeing. 43 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents ▪ Sleep helps reduce stress. If you do not get enough sleep it usually reacts by producing an elevated level of stress hormones. A good sleep can prevent it to happen. ▪ Sleep improves memory. While you are sleeping, our body is at rest but our brain is still at work - organizing and storing your memories. Thus, a good sleep will help you remember and process information. ▪ Sleep sets one in a better mood. Lack of sleep can really affect your mood and make you easily annoyed or agitated. A good sleep therefore can make you calm, composed and reasonable. ○ How to get a good sleep: ▪ Maintain a sleep schedule. Allot seven to eight hours of sleep and go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. A consistent sleep pattern reinforces our body’s sleep-wake cycle. ▪ Do not sleep hungry or stuffed. Drinking coffee or any beverage with caffeine should also be avoided a couple of hours before bedtime for it might also disrupt a good sleep. ▪ Create an environment conducive for a good sleep. Make your room that is conducive for sleeping. Ideally, it should be cool, dark and quiet. ▪ Fit in physical activity in daily routine. Regular physical activities may also induce good sleep however such activities should be avoided hours before bedtime. ▪ Manage anxiety. Try to resolve worries or concerns before going to sleep. If it cannot be resolved, try to set aside for tomorrow. Keep up with vaccinations ○ Get a flu shot every year. If you have not gotten the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine, ask your parents and doctor about it. It can prevent you from getting HPV and some kinds of cancer, including cervical cancer. Maintain good grooming and hygiene ○ Brush and floss your teeth. Make it a habit now, and prevent tooth and gum problems in adulthood. Brushing removes plaque and reduces the number of bacteria in your mouth. Bacteria in the mouth multiply quickly. LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 44 SHAPE ▪ Teens with braces should pay special attention to cleaning your teeth. Not cleaning your teeth thoroughly allows food to collect around the wires or plastic, causing splotched teeth or tooth decay. ▪ Visit a dentist at least twice a year for a check-up and professional cleaning to remove plaque from below the gums. Take note that tobacco and caffeine drinks can stain the teeth, in addition to their negative health effects. ▪ Avoid sugary or starchy foods. These kinds of food increase production of acids that attack tooth enamel. ○ Girls, because you have monthly periods, you need to practice good personal hygieneto help protect yourselves from infections. ▪ After going to the bathroom, wipe from front to back to avoid spreading bacteria from your anus to your vagina. Avoid heavily perfumed soaps or shower gels. These can sometimes irritate the delicate skin in the vulva area. ▪ If you get a vaginal infection or a discharge that smells unpleasant, is thick, yellowish or darker, and causes itching or burning, it can be a sign of infection. You should see a family doctor who will be able to recommend the proper treatment. ▪ Panty liners are products designed for daily hygiene that are worn outside of your body but inside your underwear, like a pad (sanitary napkin). Panty liners are great for absorbing daily vaginal discharge or light flow during your period. ▪ Every girl is different, so just change it as often as you need to stay feeling fresh and clean - up to once in every three (3) to four (4) nhours. To dispose of it, treat it like a pad. 45 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents ▪ Pads absorb your menstrual flow when you have your period. They have a soft, absorbent, cotton-like layer on the top, and a sticky tape on the back to keep them firmly in place. They help give you clean, dry protection throughout your period, from light days to heavy days and all the days in between. ▪ You should change your pad every four to six hours. Change it more often if your flow is heavy. How often you change it also depends on what kind of pad you are wearing. Your pad may start to leak if you wear it too long. ○ Take care of your skin. At puberty, changes in your skin are caused by body hormones. The sebaceous or oil glands in your skin become enlarged and more active, producing excess amounts of an oily substance called sebum. ▪ Oil glands are in the skin throughout your body. But there are some of them on your face, especially across your forehead, on your nose, chin, neck, shoulders, upper chest, and back. These are the areas where pimples and acne are most likely to appear. ▪ Pimples and acne develop when bacteria grow in the pores of your skin that are clogged with oil and dirt. Pimples can be prevented through regular washing. Acne, which is a more severe case of pimples, cannot always be prevented by washing. But there are ways to prevent and treat acne from getting worse. ▪ To help get rid of everyday dirt and oil on your face, wash your face twice daily with a gentle soap or cleanser, which can be medicated or not. Deep cleanse with a cleanser containing salicylic acid. Do not scrub your face hard. It only aggravates pimple breakouts. LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 46 SHAPE ▪ Almost all adolescents have skin problems. It is part of being not a kid anymore. So, if you develop pimples, do not let this destroy your confidence or self-esteem. ▪ Wear sunscreen. Getting just one bad sunburn as a child or teenager increases your risk of getting skin cancer as an adult. ○ Just as your oil glands produce more oil called sebum, your sweat glands produce more sweat called perspiration. This can also cause you to have low self-esteem. But perspiration is normal and important. It helps your body regulate its temperature. ▪ You have two (2) different kinds of sweat glands. The first type called eccrine glands produce perspiration that is clear and odorless. These glands start working as soon as you are born. The second type called apocrine glands only becomes active when you start puberty. They are mostly located under your arms and in your genital area. They produce a different kind of perspiration, which can smell unpleasant when it comes in contact with bacteria on the skin. This smell is known as body odor. ▪ A lot of apocrine glands are located under your arms, so many people use underarm deodorants or antiperspirants to control the smell. ○ Hair care is an important aspect of caring for yourself during adolescence. Hair care shows that you take care of yourself and it is part of having a clean and neat appearance. ▪ Develop a routine for taking care of your hair, just as you do for your skin. It is simple: just use a shampoo, followed by a conditioner, every time you wash your hair. 47 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents b. Mental health – taking care of your mind11. Learn ways to manage stress. You cannot avoid stress, so you need to learn how to manage it. This will help you stay calm and be able to function in stressful situations. ○ Get enough sleep. Ideally, adolescents should get at least eight (8) hours a night. To get enough sleep, cut back on watching TV or engaging in a lot of screen time through your computers, tablets, or cellphones in the late evening hours. Avoid drinking caffeine or doing stimulating activities too close to bedtime. ○ Be preoccupied with what you are good at. Focus on your strengths and the things that you are good at. Choose your battle – do not focus on the things that give you unnecessary stress or tension. ○ Be active and do things that make you happy. Be active in activities that you enjoy alone or with your friends. ○ Find time to relax. Always be at peace with yourself. Drive away negative energies by relaxation and breathing exercises such as reflections or yoga. Study and be engaged in academic activities. There is a strong link between health and academic success. Find hobbies that stimulate your thinking. c. Emotional health – taking care of your feelings12. Be aware of your moods and feelings. Avoid negative feelings such as anxiety, depression, and anger. Express these emotions in healthy way (see Session 2, Module 3). Talk to somebody about your feelings. Find an adult you can trust. If you are feeling really sad or are thinking about harming yourself, get help right away. If you feel like you have low self-esteem or a poor body image, talk to someone about it. Even just talking to a friend can help. Don’t bully other people. And if you are being bullied, tell a parent, teacher, or other adult. This includes being bullied online or on your phone. d. Be safe and secure – avoid risky behaviors13. Avoid substance use or abuse. This includes alcohol, street drugs, other people’s prescription drugs, and any type of tobacco product. Drive safely. Avoid unsafe driving practices. Always use your seat belt. Avoid riding in a car full of other teenagers. This can distract the driver and LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 48 SHAPE make an accident more likely. Do not drive while drunk or never get in a car with a driver who has been drinking. Wear protective headgear. Wear a helmet when you are riding a bike or participating in sports to prevent concussions. Concussions at a young age can have lifelong negative effects on your health. Avoid violence. Stay away from situations where violence or fighting may cause you to be physically injured. Practice abstinence (no sex) or safe sex. Practicing safe sex is also part of a healthy lifestyle. If you will engage in sex, always use condoms to help avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you are a sexually active girl, talk to your doctor about contraceptives. If you can’t use contraceptives, use condoms. 3. Synthesis of the session: a. Preventing risky behavior and promoting healthy choices among adolescents can yield positive health outcomes, not just during adolescence, but also during adulthood. b. Exercise to keep your mind and body healthy. Keep busy and you won’t get bored and sad. Join teams and play sport with friends. Get plenty of sleep to help your body to rest and grow. Eat healthy food. Feel happy that your body is working well. c. Keep yourself clean. Look after your clothes. Try to look neat and tidy. Be friendly and happy, and people will be the same to you. 49 LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents CLOSING ACTIVITY. Healthy Lifestyle Campaign 1. Group the participants into four. 2. Instruct the participants: a. Now that we have realized the importance of heaving a healthy lifestyle especially among adolescents, let us use our creativity to promote healthy lifestyle among our peers. b. Creatively think and produce a two-minute advertisement through skit or role play that promotes healthy lifestyle among adolescents. You may print or post the title of your advertisement. Present your advertisement to the plenary. c. Assign a group member who will take a video of your presentation (using your cellphone). Play the video in the plenary during breaktime. 3. Process the activity after all the presentations by asking: a. What key messages did you get from the advertisement? b. How did you feel while you were doing the activity? c. What insights did you gain from the activity? 4. As final message, say: a. You learned in the previous sessions that you are unique as you are. You can further improve your self-esteem by keeping your body healthy and clean all the time - exercising, eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and feeling happy that your body is working well. b. Be happy and friendly and people will be the same to you! LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 50 SHAPE Session 4.5. BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS 51 BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Differentiate sex and gender. 2. Describe how gender roles and norms affect relationships. 3. Demonstrate ways of being gender-sensitive, respectful and responsible in relationship. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 90 minutes For Opening Activity: Group activity Small sheets of paper Bowl or box Metacards Markers Adhesive tape For Closing Activity: Sheet of paper for the various scenarios Metacards Markers Adhesive tape OPENING ACTIVITY. He or She? 1. Before this activity, write each of the following on a slip of paper, fold each paper, and put them in a box. You can write additional questions if there are more pairs. a. You are going to the department store, what will you buy for him/her? b. You are asked by your teacher to clean the room. Who mops or scrubs the floor, he or she? c. You are going to church, what should he/she wear? d. You are going to college, what course should he/she take? BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS 52 SHAPE e. You want to engage in sports, what kind of sport should he/she join? f. On your first date, you are going to watch a movie. Who pays for the movie - he or she? g. You are a couple and you are having an argument, who gives way – he or she? h. You are a couple, who makes decisions – he or she? i. You are a romantic couple, who initiates the first kiss – he or she? j. Who is allowed to stay late with friends, he or she? k. Who should do the laundry, he or she? l. Who should feed the dog, he or she? m. Who gets pregnant, he or she? n. Who produces sperm, he or she? o. Who produces breastmilk, he or she? p. Who gets an erection, he or she? q. Who proposes marriage, he or she? r. You like each other. Who first says “I love you” or “I like you”? s. Who gets a circumcision, she or he? t. Who cooks food, he or she? u. Who goes to market, she or he? v. You are a newly married couple, who decides on the number of children you will have, he or she? w. Who gets to be a manager, she or he? 53 BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents x. Who gets to be a dressmaker, she or he? y. Who looks after a baby, she or he? 2. Introduce the activity: a. Some of you may already be feeling good about yourselves, maybe because your family showers you with love, care, and support. But sometimes you feel that some people around you treat you differently because you are a boy, a girl, or you do not behave in the way boys or girls are taught to behave. Being treated differently can make you feel down about yourself and cause you to have a low self-esteem. b. In this session, we will look into your differences as boys and girls, and how those differences make you feel. We will also look into how those differences make you behave in certain ways when relating with each other. 3. Form pairs of a boy and a girl, and ask all pairs to stand in a circle. [If there are more boys or more girls, form same-sex pairs and ask one to assume being a boy or girl.] 4. To add fun, play music. While the music plays, pass the box around the circle. Stop the music. Ask the pair that holds the box to pick out one paper, read the question on it, answer the question, and briefly explain their answer. Repeat the process until all pairs are able to answer a question. 5. On the board, make two (2) interesting big circles or oblongs. Label one (1) circle/oval “He” and the other circle “She.” As pairs answer their question, write on the appropriate circle the things they assigned to “He” or “She.” Write on the intersection of the circles the things they assign to both “He” and “She.” HE SHE BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS 54 SHAPE 6. Using the diagram, summarize the attributes they assigned to “He,” “She,” or to both. 7. Process the activity by asking: a. How did you feel about the activity? Was it easy or hard? Why was it easy or hard? b. What have you realized about the questions asked and the answers you have given? c. Are there roles or tasks that are exclusively assigned to boys or girls? Are there roles or tasks shared by boys and girls? d. What are your reflections about being boys or girls? Are you happy or sad with such assignment of roles and tasks? Why? 8. Introduce the key message of the session: a. As we are born into the world, there are existing differences between male and female that are constructed and observed by our culture and society. In many cases, these differences in terms of roles, behaviors, and expectations between boys and girls or men and women have engendered or caused unequal power relations between the two sexes. These unequal gender power relations have further caused discrimination and inequality between men and women, with women mostly at the disadvantaged position. b. In this session, we will learn how to be gender-sensitive which is a basic attitude and behavior in improving various types of relationships. KEY MESSAGES 1. The foundation of an enabling and respectful relationship is the recognition that all human beings are equal. Regardless of sex, age, sexual orientation and gender identity, economic status, and other social categorization, we have equal rights and responsibilities toward each other. 55 BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 2. Many of the discrimination and inequality happening in the society are based on the sex and gender of individuals. To avoid this discrimination and inequality, you have to be gender-sensitive, that is, being mindful of the way you think about people’s gender or their being male or female. a. The only difference between male and female is their biological sex characteristics (as previously discussed in Session 3, Module 3). These characteristics are biologically or genetically determined. b. At birth, a newborn is identified as male if he has a penis and a female if she has a vagina. Based on their biological functions as male and female, only males produce sperm and only females produce eggs and can become pregnant. c. As you grow, you learn various social expectations and attitudes associated with your sex. These expectations come from your family, religion, school, media, community, and other institution you belong. You learn to think, feel, and behave according to these expectations. d. These socially constructed expectations, roles, attitude, and characteristics are called “gender.” e. Each culture has standards about the way that people should behave based on their gender. Beginning at infancy and throughout childhood, your family, religion, and school taught and expect you to look and behave according to your sex. ○ Males are usually expected to look and act in “masculine” ways, which include: having a muscled body to appear strong; not expressive of emotions; being brave, athletic, and not afraid of violence; being in- charge of the family; financially successful; a father; having many sexual partners; powerful, etc. ○ Females are expected to look and act in “feminine” ways, which include: being quiet; considerate; submissive; non-violent; modest; having a shapely body; a mother; loyal; to have sex only with husband, etc. Media reinforces these expectations by creating images that show how boys can be “masculine” and how girls can be “feminine.” Advertisements show males having muscled body to appear strong and powerful and present females as meek and dependent on males, or as object of sexual feelings of BEING GENDER-SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL, AND RESPONSIBLE IN RELATIONSHIPS 56 SHAPE males. Movies also show males engaging in fights or killings and females as outcast if they become pregnant out of wedlock. Since many teenage boys aim to perform toughness to conform to the expected image of “real” men, they tend to experiment on risky lifestyles in which they can prove their manliness. Behaviors like extensive alcohol consumption, experimenting with drugs and gambling serve to create the desired image. f. The prevailing gender and expectations about males and females in the country cause discrimination, abuse, and unequal power relations putting women or girls at the disadvantage. These gender-based characterization or expectations limit the capacity of male and female to achieve their full potentials and it affects the way they relate with each other especially in making decisions. Some behaviors that cause discrimination and abuse include the following: Gender biases and stereotypes. Stereotypes are ideas we have about people where we judge them without even knowing them. People often judge others just because they are a male or a female. ○ Gender biases and stereotypes are socially constructed expectations and standards of how you are supposed to look as boy