Shape Module 2: Changing Feelings and Expectations PDF

SHAPE 1 CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents INTRODUCTION In addition to bodily changes, boys and girls also experience different emotions that are new to them during puberty. These new emotions can b...

SHAPE 1 CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents INTRODUCTION In addition to bodily changes, boys and girls also experience different emotions that are new to them during puberty. These new emotions can be very challenging and frustrating, and are often not talked about but with serious implications on their psychological development. Adolescents need to recognize these new feelings, understand why they are having them, and acquire skills to handle them so they feel confident and able to develop safe, healthy, and happy relationships with people around them – their family, friends, peers, and others they interact with. As they also mature towards adulthood, there are certain expectations and developmental tasks that adolescents need to achieve. Development tasksi refer to tasks which arise in a social context during an individual lifetime. These are tasks that are expected to be achieved by individuals in order for him/her to effectively transit to the next stage of life. Adolescence has these expectations that adolescents need to achieve to become more effective and mature adults. In establishing relationships during their sexual maturation, adolescents also need to understand and appreciate their sexuality – their preferences, expressions, and behaviors. This module deals with emotional changes at puberty focusing on feelings that affect adolescents’ view of themselves and their relationship with other people. It builds abilities of participants to handle feelings of anger, anxiety, poor body image, and sexual attraction. It also discusses sexuality and human relationships. This module also discusses the various developmental tasks and life skills that adolescents need to be more mature and responsible adults. LEARNING OBJECTIVE At the end of this module, participants are able to: Knowledge Attitude Self-Efficacy  Describe personal values  Express positive attitude  Show respect to one’s body in relation to changing about the various feelings image; feelings; and emotions that they  Show respect to varying  Identify the different new feel during adolescence; sexual feelings, emotions at puberty;  Show positive attitude expressions, and  Describe sexuality and its towards their own body preferences; and CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS 2 SHAPE Knowledge Attitude Self-Efficacy role in human image;  Show ability to share the relationships;  Show positive appreciation learning they gained to  Describe common sexual about one’s sexuality. their peers. behaviors;  Recognize the need to  Define sexual identify and achieve various; and orientation; and developmental tasks for  Explain the different adolescence. developmental tasks during adolescence. 3 CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS  Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) Pretest Describe personal Opinion Poll Attitude about “Agree,” 30 minutes values in relation to psycho-social “Neutral” adolescents’ psycho- emotions, and social emotions, sexuality, and “Disagree” sexuality, and developmental labels and developmental tasks. tasks statements Session 2.1 Identify the different “Porcupine Emotions and easel sheet 90 minutes LEARNING SESSION emotions experienced Chart” feelings at puberty pieces of Getting in by adolescents during Managing my Mood changes papers Touch with my Feelings puberty; Emotions Managing anger, (round Recognize that anxiety and stress shape, about experiencing new the size of feelings at puberty is a one-fourth normal part of of a bond becoming adults. paper), Demonstrate healthy coloring or constructive ways pens of expressing markers emotions. adhesive tape CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 4 5 Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) SHAPE Session 2.2 Recognize that feeling Selfie Genetics and body Bond paper 90 minutes happy or satisfied Fandom forms (one for each I Love my with one’s body image Paper bags Self-confidence or participant) Body builds confidence and self-esteems Coloring overall well-being; Body image materials Accept diversity in Impact of media such as body form and on body image crayons, development; water color, Analyze how family, etc. peers, and most Markers importantly, media Pencil influence self-concept Paper bags and body image. Colored CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS papers glue or paste scissors or cutter Session 2.3 Describe sexuality and Sexuality Sexuality Old 90 minutes its role in human collage Sexual diversity magazines Nurturing relationships; “Bad Touch, Sexual behavior and my Sexuality Describe common Good Touch” Sexual intercourse newspapers sexual behaviors; Sexual coercion or Markers Define sexual abuse Adhesive orientation. glue and Identify negative consequences of sexual intercourse.  Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) Recognize that tape experiencing sexual Easel sheet feelings is normal part Scissors of becoming an adult; Or, strip of Recognize that sexual paper and intercourse is only one adhesive of the ways to express tape Small romantic love; strips of Acknowledge consent paper (red, as necessary in sexual green and romantic colors), relationships; small pieces Show non-judgmental of precut attitude to different tape expressions of sexuality. Session 2.4 Explain the various Endings and Development Easel sheet 90 minutes developmental tasks Beginnings tasks (with two Journeying and expectations that Before and Independence columns) through Adolescence adolescents go After Intimacy Adhesive through during Commitment Individuality tape CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS adolescence period; statement Metacards Identity and Markers Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 6 7 Opening & Materials Time Session Title Learning Objectives Key Topics Closing Activity Needed (Minutes) SHAPE Identify and explain Cellphone life skills that can with access enable adolescents to to internet go through these tasks and expectations in healthy and empowering ways. Post-test Describe personal Opinion Poll Attitude about “Agree” and 30 minutes values in relation to psycho-social “Disagree” adolescents’ psycho- emotions, social emotions, sexuality, and sexuality, and developmental developmental tasks tasks CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents MODULE OVERVIEW Discuss the following opening messages: 1. Puberty is more than just physical changes. Hormonal changes also give you different feelings and emotions that can affect your mood, behaviors, and even relationships with others. Feeling “up” and “down” is normal but can be confusing and difficult for adolescents like you who are experiencing puberty changes. 2. Aside from hormonal changes, there are other factors that influence emotions such as sleep, food, exercise, and interaction with others. Lack of sleep or poor sleeping habit, excessive intake of high-sugar food items, and lack of exercise may cause you to be moody, and as a result, may affect your interaction with people around you. 3. As emotions affect your own mood and relationships with other, it is important to acknowledge emotional changes at puberty and learn ways to handle them effectively or constructively. 4. As discussed in the previous sessions, an integral part of puberty is sexual maturation. Through this, you become more conscious about your sexual feelings and sexual attraction to others which may draw you to entering into more intimate relationships. All these changes in your feelings are part of your sexuality or of your expression of being a male or a female. It is important that you appreciate your sexuality – your preferences, orientation, and expressions to enhance your self- esteem and your relationship with others. 5. As you grow-up through adolescence, you are expected to successfully achieve the various developmental tasks for such stage. Unsuccessful achievement of these development tasks leads to inability to perform tasks associated with the next period or stage in life. 6. This module has four sessions: In Session 2.1 (GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS) we will talk about the new feelings you are having now. We will do this in a creative and fun way. In small groups, you will create a “porcupine chart” to help you name and describe your new feelings. Then we will talk about ways to deal with strong feelings you commonly feel such as anger and anxiety. We will end the session with a short skit or role-play where you will demonstrate ways to handle anger and anxiety. CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS 8 SHAPE In Session 2.2 (I LOVE MY BODY), we will talk about how you feel about your body image and your emotions. These important concerns are part of building your self-esteem which are crucial in your growth and development. For this, you will make picture collages or art pieces created by putting together magazine and newspaper clippings and other art materials, and gluing them on a large paper to create a picture. Then, we will discuss how those magazine and newspaper clippings shape your idea of “beauty” and your view about your changing body. We will close the session by creating one big “porcupine chart” to summarize how you feel about your changing body after our discussion. In Session 2.3 (NURTURING MY SEXUALITY), the final session in this module, we will talk about a very interesting topic – sexual feelings and attractions. We will begin with a “true or false” exercise then proceed to discuss sexual feelings and what you can do about them. For very young adolescents (10-12 years old), we will end the session with an activity that will allow you to identify which parts of your body are “off limits” to others – meaning, you will not allow anybody to touch without your permission, and parts of your body that you feel are okay for others to touch even without your permission. For young adolescents (13-19 years old), we will end the session with a role-play where you will be asked to demonstrate how you will address certain situations. In Session 2.4 (JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE), we will discuss the various tasks that you are expected to go through and fulfill so that you can be more able to perform the tasks of being an adult in the next stage of your life. We will also do various exercises to learn about the Four “I’s” that summarizes the developmental tasks during adolescence. 9 CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents Pre-Test OBJECTIVE Participants are able to describe and express their personal values and experience in relation to their emotion or feelings, sexuality, and personal development. Duration: 30 minutes ACTIVITY. Opinion Poll 1. Explain that this is a pretest activity and participants should not worry because they will not be asked to provide facts and figures. Instead, they will be asked to express their current knowledge and attitude on a set of statements by agreeing or disagreeing with them. 2. Designate one side of the room as AGREE area and the other side of the room as DISAGREE area. 3. Let all participants stand at the center of the room. 4. Instruct them to express their agreement or disagreement to each statement that you will read by going to appropriate corner of the room. Those who express neutrality about the statement (i.e. they are not sure if they fully agree or disagree), will stay at the center of the room. 5. Inform that you will not reveal the correct answer at this point. They will find about them as they go through the different sessions. 6. For each statement, you may request some volunteers to expound on their responses. Just acknowledge and let them share their responses without confirming or commenting on them. CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS 10 SHAPE 7. Read the following statements: Statements Agree Neutral Disagree a. It is better to suppress or not to express negative emotions such as anger to keep harmonious relationship. b. There is nothing wrong with teasing somebody. You are just having fun! c. Beauty or having good looks means wearing nice clothes, shoes, and bags and looking like all those beautiful women and men in the magazines, movies, or television shows. d. The opinion of other people about the way we look or our body matters a lot in building our self-esteem. e. At puberty, you begin to feel “sexy.” You may begin to explore parts of your body that give you a sexy feeling when you touch them, such as your genital area. This is wrong. Young people should not do this. f. Being gay or lesbian is a mental or psychological disorder. g. If other people touch your body, you should not get upset. Anyway, you will not get pregnant just by being touched. h. Boys are more sexual that is why they can express their sexuality more aggressively than girls who are expected to be more conservative. i. Sexual intercourse is the only way to express sexual feelings or intimacy. j. Adolescents should always rely or depend on their parents in making decisions on things that affect them. 11 CHANGING FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 12 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Identify the different emotions experienced by adolescents during puberty. 2. Recognize that experiencing new feelings at puberty is a normal part of becoming adults. 3. Demonstrate healthy or constructive ways of expressing emotions. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology   90 minutes  easel sheet  Big group activity and  pieces of papers (round shape, about discussion the size of one-fourth of a bond paper)  coloring pens  markers  tape 13 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents OPENING ACTIVITY. “Porcupine Chart ”ii 1. Introduce the activity: a. Hormonal changes can cause abrupt changes in your moods. Your bodies change, so do your feelings about yourselves, your families, and your friends. Some days you wish your body was not changing at all. On other days, you cannot wait to become grown-up. b. Going through these ups and downs is normal but can be confusing and difficult at times. c. To enable you to deal with the changes in your feelings and moods, you should be able to recognize these feelings. To do this, you will create a “porcupine chart.” 2. Instruct the participants to: a. Form small, same-sex groups. If there are participants who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), ask them to join the group they are more comfortable with or form a separate group if they want to. b. Discuss in their group the different new feelings they are experiencing while going through puberty changes and to also identify the outcomes of those feelings. c. List down common feelings and their outcomes. Describe or draw each feeling on a piece of round-shaped paper and write its outcomes as well. d. Tape each paper on the large paper creating a porcupine chart like the one below: GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 14 SHAPE 3. Ask each group to present its porcupine chart in the big group and discuss. Encourage other groups to ask questions or explanations. 4. Process the activity: a. What are the common new feelings that each member identified and experienced? b. What can you say about its outcomes? c. How do you deal with your changing feelings and moods? 15 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents d. What have you realized from the activity? 5. Link the discussion with the key messages. KEY MESSAGES 1. Puberty also brings about emotional changes in adolescents. a. Emotional reactions are particularly common as you undergo rapid physical, psychological, and social development. You experience new feelings and concerns that may change your moods and may affect your interaction and relationship with the people around you. As such, you can build your capacity to express and handle your emotions well and you can enhance your psychological health and interpersonal relationships. b. Aside from hormones, feelings and emotions are also influenced by lack of sleep or poor sleeping habit, the kinds of food you eat (especially high-sugar food items), and lack of exercise. c. Adolescents like you are often moody because you are also going through a lot of things such as:  You are in the process of discovering about your own identity: who you are and who you want to be.  You are learning about your own sexuality.  You are learning about your strengths and weaknesses and your interests.  You are learning to relate to others in grown-up ways.  You are confused with different conflicting messages about your roles, expectations, and manners of behaving in the society you belong.  You are learning that you are not yet fully grown-up and you still have to do things that you are asked to do by your parents and your teachers - that they are still responsible for your health, safety, and wellbeing and that there are still “rules” that you need to follow.  All of these things can be challenging and even frustrating, which can make you irritable and hard to live with at times. This sometimes leads you to have a conflict with people around you. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 16 SHAPE 2. Being aware about your emotions or feelings enables you to express and react on them in healthy and constructive manner. a. Emotions are subjective human feelings which dictate mood. They are driving forces for human behaviors.iii b. There are positive and negative emotions: Positive Emotions Negative Emotions  happiness  anger  satisfaction  bitterness  appreciation  dissatisfaction  gratitude  sadness  concern  anxiety  expectation  fear  surprise  shame  admiration  guilt  jealousy c. Positive emotions can make you optimistic, competent, satisfied, and fulfilled. On the other hand, negative emotions, when not managed well, will make you unhappy, depressed, discouraged, withdrawn, and indignant. d. The following situations can trigger negative emotions:iv Emotions Triggers  Anger  When insulted or threatened or treated unfairly  When facing resistance or obstacles  When rejected  When things fall short of expectations  Sadness  When losing or missing someone  Lacking care and attention from someone especially from loved ones  Failures or lacking successful experience  Anxiety and  Experiencing or facing uncertain or unfamiliar situations, places, and fear expectations  Stress in times of difficulty, such as failures, death of a loved one, financial strain  Sudden changes occurring in the family, environment, or situations  Shame  Feeling of inadequacy, unworthiness, dishonor, regret, or disconnection 17 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents Emotions Triggers  When criticized or blamed  Failures and lacking successful experience  When rejected or isolated  Guilt  Having regret for wrongdoings  Committing a mistake or failing short of expectations  Feeling or acknowledging that you hurt someone  Jealousy  Insecurity  Lacking of care and attention from loved ones  Fear of ending up alone, being rejected or losing the love of your partner e. Tips in positively handling emotions and feelingsv:  Know your emotions  identifying your emotions accurately helps you understand yourself  understand the triggers for your emotions  be sensitive to others' feelings so as to minimize misunderstanding  Express your emotions appropriately  Learn to express positive emotions such as appreciation, care, forgiveness, satisfaction, happiness, etc. These emotions make life more enriching and meaningful. They also make interpersonal relationships more successful and harmonious.  Negative emotions should also be expressed appropriately. Suppression of anger or losing temper are not proper ways of expression. It is better to express negative emotions calmly and sensibly so as to avoid hurting yourself and other people. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 18 SHAPE  Handle your emotions effectively    Manage your anger ○ Keep away from the sources that stir up your emotion in order to claim down yourself. ○ Distract yourself by other pleasurable or productive activities. ○ Undergo relaxation activities (e.g. listening to music, doing aerobic exercises). ○ Be optimistic and humorous. Look for the positive sides of the incident. ○ Stop and think about what to do or say, then make a good choice. ○ Never hurt someone with your hands, feet, or by what you say. ○ Say what you feel in a firm voice, not in a loud shouting voice, for example, “I feel angry/sad/upset because...”  Reduce sadness ○ Understand the reason for sadness. ○ Face the problems bravely. ○ Avoid ruminating on our failure or set unrealistically high expectation for yourself. ○ Be optimistic and look forward to a bright future. ○ Establish supportive networks with your parents, teachers, schoolmates, and friends so that they can help and encourage you. 19 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents  Relieve anxiety and fear ○ Be psychologically prepared for the adolescent change. ○ Take part in social activities to reduce fear about unfamiliar places. ○ Be well-prepared for examinations or competitions. ○ Undergo relaxation exercise and deep breathing in anxiety provoking situations.  Get rid of shame ○ Face reality. ○ Accept yourself and your limitations. ○ Appreciate the effort that you have paid. ○ Don't be frustrated by failures. ○ Try to improve yourself and learn to rebuild your self-confidence and self-esteem.  Free yourself from guilt ○ Don't over-react to your failure or mistakes. ○ Try to find out the reasons for failure and make improvements to avoid repeating mistakes. ○ Avoid regretting repeatedly over past events. ○ Be courageous and ready to face new challenges. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 20 SHAPE 3. Teasing, harassment, and bullying hurt other people’s feelings and make them unhappy. a. As you positively manage negative emotions for your personal well-being, it is also important to nurture positive relationships with significant others by avoiding reactions that can hurt them. Teasing, harassment, and bullying impact negative emotions upon other people that can affect their self-esteem and well- being. b. Do not be a source of negative emotions to others. Help others who may be experiencing negative feelings through bullying and harassment. 4. Synthesis of the session: a. Being able to identify the different new feelings at puberty, and learning ways to deal with them are empowering. They will help you build safe and healthy relationships with people around you. More so, managing emotions is an essential skill to be acquired on our way to maturity. b. It is always helpful to deal with anger, anxiety, and other strong feelings in a positive way or in ways that help you build good relationships with other people. c. Always remember that teasing, harassment, and bullying hurt other people’s feelings and make them unhappy. Have compassion to others. 21 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents d. Always respect other people, regardless of who they are. e. Ask for help if you are or you see someone being teased cruelly or being bullied. CLOSING ACTIVITY. Managing my Emotions 1. Inform participants that they will practice dealing with anger, anxiety, and teasing. 2. Divide class into four small, mixed-sex groups. Assign each group with any of the following situations: a. Your brother is always blaming you for leaving the door open and he gets so angry every time he finds the door open. When he is angry, he shouts at the top of his voice and does not listen to any explanation. What will you do? b. Some classmates teased you because you are lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender, what will you do? c. A friend is always scared every time she has her menstruation or period. How can you help her? d. You see your friend Gemma crying while running away from a group of boys. Gemma tells you the boys were teasing her for being short and stout. What will you do? 3. Instruct the groups to think of how will they deal with the problem or situation and present their responses through a skit or role playing for two (2) minutes. Let each group present to the plenary their skit. 4. After the presentation, say: a. Mood changes are normal at puberty, but you do not have to feel angry or anxious most of time. There are ways to deal with these two strong feelings. Deal with them in ways that help you build good relationship with people around you and enjoy the rest of your journey through adolescence. b. Always respect others. 5. Thank everyone for their cooperation and active participation. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS 22 SHAPE FURTHER READINGS FOR FACILITATORS  FACT SHEET 12 (Body Image) 23 GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents I LOVE MY BODY 24 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Recognize that feeling happy or satisfied with one’s body image builds confidence and overall well-being. 2. Accept diversity in body form and development. 3. Analyze how family, peers, and most importantly, media influence self-concept, and body image. 4. Express means on improving their body image. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 90 minutes  bond paper (one for each participant)  Individual activity  coloring materials such as crayons, water color, etc.  markers  pencil  paper bags  colored papers  glue or paste  scissors or cutter OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 1). Selfie 1. Begin by asking: a. How do you feel about your changing body? Do you like it? Are you happy with it? Or you feel there is something wrong with your body and you worry about it? b. These are questions we will answer in this session. 2. Instruct the participants: a. Individually, draw a selfie or “avatar” or image (whole body) depicting yourself at the center of the paper. 25 I LOVE MY BODY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents b. At the right side, write the things that you like most about your body using thought bubbles. c. At the left side, write the things that you don’t like most about your body using thought bubbles. d. As soon as you finish, find a group (of at most three (3) persons) and share your work with them. 3. Process the activity by asking: a. What were the similarities and differences in terms of the likes and dislikes about their bodies with your peers? b. What did you learn from the activity? 4. Continue processing the activity through the discussion of the key messages. OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 2). Fandom 1. Begin by saying: a. The way we look and carry ourselves are often influenced by the media through artists or celebrities that serve as our role models. As a fan, we do not only admire them for their looks but also emulate the way they dress and act. Today, let us discuss how these idols influence the way we look at our bodies. 2. Instruct the participants: a. Think of a personality or celebrity (local or foreign) you admire most and has some influence in the way you dress or carry yourself. b. Once you have identified that celebrity, move around and find others who also admire the same celebrity so you can form a “fandom” (group of persons who consider themselves as fans or followers of a celebrity). I LOVE MY BODY 26 SHAPE c. Once you have grouped as a fandom, answer and discuss with your group the following questions:  What do you admire or like most about the celebrity?  What characteristics and traits of the celebrity that you want to emulate or adopt?  How influential is the celebrity in the way you dress or take care of yourself? (e.g. what is the influence of the celebrity in your actual life?) 3. Process the activity by asking: a. What did you feel about the activity? b. What did you learn from the activity related to the way you look at yourself? 4. Continue processing the activity through the discussion of the key messages. KEY MESSAGES 1. As your body changes during adolescence, so do your feelings about your body. a. During this period, you are more conscious about your physical image or how you physically look. b. Often, you compare yourself with other adolescents and tend to conform with what are popular and acceptable in the media and in the society. You worry about what people might say about your image or looks. 2. Your body image shapes your overall self-confidence, behaviors, well-being, and how you relate with others. a. Body image is how one feels, looks at, and treats his/her own body. It may be positive or negative. b. Body image is influenced by many factors. These factors include your family and peer attitudes or affirmation, cultural background, and more importantly, the media – traditional and social media. 27 I LOVE MY BODY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents  Of these factors, the media exerts so much influence on your body. You may not have realized it yet but media influence your idea of what are acceptable body images in the society by: o Showing images that glorify muscled body for men and curvaceous body for women; and o Displaying women and men in sexy and desirable ways – women with big breasts, curvaceous body, white skin, long and shiny hair, luscious lips, long and curly eyelashes, wearing sexy clothes and stiletto shoes; and men with muscled, well-built body, clear skin, clean and shiny hair, wearing nice clothes and shoes. c. Conforming to what are socially acceptable body images provides you with great pressure and stress. Failure to conform may lead you to poor self and body image.  Adolescents like you tend either to hide or minimize the perceived flaws or to adopt some compensating behavior to make up for what they perceive as a deficiency or defect. o For example, if one feels her busts are too big, she may tend to wear loose clothing to hide this. If she is unhappy about being flat chested, she may use padded bra or adapt some other means to enhance the size of her bust.  Comparing ourselves with others is one of the main reasons for having a poor body image.  A poor body image means either not liking the way you look, feeling unattractive or feeling uncomfortable with your body or being dissatisfied and unhappy with specific body parts. d. Poor or negative body image leads to INSECURE self.  I – Insecurity and anxiety  N – Neglected self and low self-esteem  S – Social conformism (i.e. too much dependence to acceptance of peers and society; lacking in individuality)  E – Excessive self-consciousness  C – Comparison with others (i.e. resulting to insecurity)  U – Unhealthy coping mechanisms (i.e. obesity/eating disorder or anorexia nervosa – relentless pursuit of thinness)  R – Rejection and isolation  E – Extreme depression and poor mental health. I LOVE MY BODY 28 SHAPE 3. To nurture a positive body image, LOVE yourself: a. L – Love the way you are. Nurture your uniqueness and individuality by avoiding to compare yourself with others. Avoid conformity with the standards set by media and the society on beauty or acceptable physical appearance. Remember that each person is different and unique individuals. Our differences are caused genetically and by various social factors. Avoid social stereotypes and stigma about unrealistic standards of acceptable physical appearance. b. O – Open yourself to feedback for self-improvement. Negative comments about your appearance should be taken as encouragement and challenge to improve yourself but not to hurt you. Do not let others demean or break your self- confidence or self-worth by criticisms from others. c. V – Value and respect each other’s individuality. Just as you value your uniqueness and individuality, the same should be shown to others. Avoid hurting others by irresponsible comments and criticisms about the physical appearance of others. Do not compare them with others and value their individuality by accepting them as they are. Avoid teasing or commenting negatively on the disability and physical deficiency of others. d. E – Eat right, exercise regularly, and be healthy. Show love to yourself by taking care of your body by having a healthy lifestyle. This also includes proper grooming and hygiene. 4. Synthesis of the Key Messages: a. As your body changes during adolescence, so do your feelings about your body. b. Your body image shapes your overall self-confidence, behaviors, well-being, and how you relate with others. As such, it is important to have a positive body image. c. Conforming to what are socially acceptable body images provides you with great pressure and stress. Failure to conform may lead you to poor self and body image. d. Poor or negative body image leads to INSECURE self. 29 I LOVE MY BODY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents e. To nurture a positive body image, LOVE yourself. CLOSING ACTIVITY. Paper Bags 1. Introduce the activity by saying: a. Every time we shop in specialty stores, the goods we buy are often put in custom-made and specially designed paper bags. We often feel proud being seen with these paper bags. People would usually turn to have a second look or a closer look at what we’re holding. They assume there’s quality products inside that paper bag. Their assumption is influenced by the way the paper bag looks. Today, I would like you to think of your self as a plain paper bag, like this one. [Hold up one of your paper bags]. 2. Distribute the paper bags. Make sure each participant has one paper bag. 3. Make available old magazines, newspapers, paste, crayons, scissors, crayola, colored pencils, and other materials. 4. Give the following instructions: a. This paper bag will be your own personal advertisement. b. Decorate/design your paper bag so it will become attractive and appealing. c. Make sure that the decoration/design should show or highlight your best qualities. d. You may use magazine cut outs and/or other available materials. You can also just draw or make your own personal designs. e. Put your name anywhere in the paper bag f. Place your finished bag in the specified area once you are through. g. Once you have finished designing your bag, choose at least five (5) of your co- participants and write them an affirmation note or something good that they want to say about their co-participants. (For example: You are so kind and helpful!). I LOVE MY BODY 30 SHAPE h. Drop your affirmation note in the paper bag of the co-participant you have chosen. 5. When everyone has completed their individual tasks, invite them to stand up and view the works of their participants. 6. After this, tell participants to retrieve their paper bag, put it in front of them and read their affirmation notes to themselves. 7. Process the activity by asking: a. What were your feelings as you were going through designing your personal paper bag ad? b. Was it easy/difficult to describe yourself through designing a paper bag? c. What were your feelings as you were looking over the completed paper bags of the other participants? d. What did you feel as you were going over your affirmations? What particular insights did you have about yourself? About your co-participants? 8. Close the session by saying: a. Like the paper bag ad you made, you have so many admirable, external traits you can be proud of. In addition, you also have many valuable internal qualities that while hidden from the eyes, are often seen and felt by the heart. These “hidden you” are seen in the affirmation notes you received. You have a lot to be proud of. You have a lot of reasons to say, “I am proud to be me!”. Be proud! Be responsible. 31 I LOVE MY BODY Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 32 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Describe sexuality and its role in human relationships. 2. Describe common sexual behaviors. 3. Define sexual identity and orientation. 4. Accept that experiencing sexual feelings is a normal part of becoming an adult. 5. Recognize that sexual intercourse is a mature way of expressing love and affection. 6. Acknowledge consent as necessary in sexual and romantic relationships. 7. Show non-judgmental attitude to different expressions of sexuality. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 90 minutes  Old magazines and newspapers  Group activity  Markers  Adhesive glue and tape  Easel sheet  Scissors For Closing Activity  Strip of sticky paper  Or strip of paper and adhesive tape OPENING ACTIVITY. Sexuality Collage 1. Introduce the activity: a. Another new feeling that puberty brings about among adolescents like you is sexual feelings. b. At puberty, the sex hormones your body produces may cause you to have sexual feelings or to feel sexy. You may begin to feel sexual urges and sensations and become more conscious about your body sexually. 33 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents c. You may also feel special feelings or sexual attractions towards others, wanting to be with him or her intimately or exclusively as boyfriend or girlfriend. d. But before we get too excited, let us try to understand first what sexual feelings and sexuality are all about. 2. Divide the participants into two groups. Give each group with one set of the collage materials listed above. 3. Give the following instructions: a. From the materials given to you, for ten minutes, creatively make a collage of images or captions that answer the following question: What is the meaning of sexuality as defined or expressed in media? b. Select a reporter from the group who will discuss the group’s output during the gallery viewing. 4. Let the participants post their outputs on designated places. Provide a pad of colored notepads and markers for each output. 5. When all outputs have been posted, instruct each group to view the outputs of the other groups and make some inputs through the notepads. Make sure that each group will be able to view other’s outputs systematically. 6. After the gallery viewing, request participants to go back to their seats. 7. Process the activity by asking: a. What did you feel about the activity? b. What were the common meanings about sexuality found in the various groups’ outputs? c. What did you learn while doing the activity? NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 34 SHAPE 8. Synthesize the activity: a. As we have discussed in previous sessions, sexual maturation happens during puberty. As such, you are more conscious about your sexuality. In this session, let us deepen our discussion on sexuality so we can develop more responsible sexual behaviors. KEY MESSAGES 1. Human sexuality is a central aspect of human being. It involves the way we experience and express ourselves sexually.vi It involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. Because it is a broad term, it actually lacks a precise definition. a. Sexuality is embedded in the totality of our being as a person – our thoughts, attitude, behaviors, feelings and emotions, preferences, and in every aspect of our personality or personhood. b. Our sexuality is a product of what we are born with and our own unique life experiences that have shaped our attitudes, feelings, and values towards ourselves and towards other people. 2. Sexuality can be further understood by its various interrelated components: a. Sex or its biological or physical aspect; b. Sexual feelings and emotions; c. Gender identity; d. Sexual orientation; and e. Sexual attitude and behaviors. 3. The biological and physical aspects of sexuality largely concern the human reproductive functions. It basically involves our SEX or our physical attributes as male and female. 35 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents a. Our being male and female is genetically determined through chromosomal sex. Chromosomal sex is determined at the time of conception (when the baby is conceived); a chromosome from the sperm cell, either X or Y, fuses with the X chromosome in the egg cell.  Humans have an XY sex-determination system: the Y chromosome carries factors responsible for male development. The "default sex," in the absence of a Y chromosome, is female-like. Males typically have an X and a Y chromosome (XY), and females with two X chromosomes (XX).  Biological sex is determined by five factors present at birth: the presence or absence of a Y chromosome, the type of gonads, the sex hormones, the internal reproductive anatomy (such as the uterus in females), and the external genitalia.vii  Differentiation between the sexes of the sex organs occurs throughout embryological, fetal and later life. This includes both internal and external genital differentiation. In both males and females, the sex organs consist of three structures: the gonads, the internal genitalia, and the external genitalia. In males, the gonads are the testes and in females they are the ovaries. These are the organs that produce gametes (egg and sperm), the reproductive cells that will eventually meet to form the fertilized egg (zygote). b. Since sex is biologically defined, it is universal and the same with every human elsewhere in the world. It is a permanent human characteristic until altered by technology which is already possible in today’s time. 4. At puberty, the sex hormones that the body produces bring about sexual feelings, urges, or desires. They are natural and occur throughout life. a. Our sexuality includes desires or feelings towards someone of the opposite sex, the same sex, or both.  We are all sexual beings throughout our life. At different times during adolescence, you will experience various emotions related to sexuality. They can be feelings of excitement, confusion, anguish, happiness, or many other feelings. Such emotions may be intense or, at other times, mild.  Sexual desire is an interest in “sexual objects or activities, or as a wish, or drive to seek out sexual objects or to engage in sexual activities.”viii It is a common sexual event in the lives of men and women.ix o Sexual desire is a subjective feeling that can be triggered by internal and external cues, and that may or may not result in overt sexual behavior.x NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 36 SHAPE It can be aroused through imagination and sexual fantasies, or perceiving an individual whom one finds attractive. o Generally, male sexual desire remains stronger, more frequent, and longer into the life cycle than women’s. Though women do not experience sexual desire as often as men, when they do, the intensity of the experience is equal to that of men.xi Societal perceptions about acceptable sexual behavior for men and women (e.g. men are more sexual while women should be more reserved in expressing their sexual desires) also contributes to expressed levels of sexual desire and expressed sexual satisfaction.xii  In adolescence, you normally begin with a feeling of “crush.” You may want to look at, be with and think about the person you have a crush on most of the time, and feel shy or embarrassed when you see her or him. This “crush” advances to more intimate feelings which may result to a romantic relationship which many of you equate to “love.” o Some adolescents are confused because they do not know if they are “in love” or whether it is just infatuation. Since people have many different perspectives of what love is. Sometimes it is difficult to know.  Thinking about your own body, the way it is changing, and the many thoughts and feelings you are having because of puberty can make you “feel sexy.” 5. Some boys may have sexual feelings for boys like themselves. Girls too may have sexual feelings on other girls. Sometimes they may feel sexual attraction to persons of the other sex, same sex, or both! This sexual attraction is called sexual orientation. a. Heterosexual refers to people who are sexually attracted to other sex; homosexual to those attracted to same sex; and, bisexual to those attracted to same or opposite sex. b. People may or may not identify as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Some people may be labelled with a sexual identity but do not claim to be such. Some people do not want to be labeled or categorized in any of these sexual identities. People who are heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual may be found in every kind of family, community, religion, and profession. 6. Gender identity is the personal sense of one's own gender. Gender identity can correlate with assigned sex at birth, or can differ from it.xiii 37 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents a. Gender and sexual diversity is a term used to refer to all the diversities of sex characteristics, sexual orientations and gender identities, without the need to specify each of the identities, behaviors or characteristics that form this plurality.xiv  Generally, simple classifications are used to describe sexual orientation (heterosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals), gender identity (transgender and cisgender), and related minorities (intersex), gathered under the acronyms LGBT or LGBTIQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersex, and queer).  However, other cultures have other ways of understanding the sex and gender systems. Many of these terms are interlocking and overlapping. As such, during the last decades, some sexology theories have emerged proposing that these classifications are not enough to describe the sexual complexity in the human beings. b. Although the formation of gender identity is not completely understood, many factors have been suggested as influencing its development. In particular, the extent to which it is determined by socialization (environmental factors) versus innate (biological factors) is an ongoing debate in psychology, known as "nature versus nurture". c. Everybody needs to be tolerant of and have respect for the different ways sexuality is expressed across cultures and settings.xv 7. Sexual feelings, fantasies, and desires are natural and occur throughout life. However, not all people choose to act on them and are generally able to control them when needed. a. There are many ways by which love, care, and sexual attraction can be demonstrated other than sexual intercourse. b. Men and women have sexual response cycle, whereby sexual stimulation (physical or mental) can produce a physical response.xvi This stimulation usually produces sensual pleasure. During puberty, boys and girls become more aware or conscious of their responses to sexual stimulation.  Masturbation is a common sexual response and behavior among adolescents especially among boys. People masturbate by touching their own bodies for sexual pleasure. NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 38  SHAPE  Generally, masturbation does not cause physical and emotional harm. It may, however, become unhealthy or detrimental when: o Masturbation is done in extraordinary frequency such that it becomes addictive or already interferes with the person’s everyday life or constraining him or her to do something productive; o Masturbation causes a strong and lingering guilt that it affects the psychosocial wellbeing (e.g. self-esteem) of the person; o Masturbation becomes a coping mechanism for wanting to relate with others such that it lowers the person’s self-esteem and confidence; o Masturbation is done in public or when it becomes a sexual perversion (i.e. abnormal sexual behavior such as exhibitionism); and o Masturbation affects relationships with a person’s significant others (e.g. sexual coercion).  Caressing, kissing, and physical stimulation between partners are likewise means of expressing sexual intimacies. However, people can also share an intimate sexual experience without touching each other. 8. Sexual relationships require physical and emotional maturity. a. Deciding to engage in sexual activities entails a lot of physical and emotional maturity to stand-up for its consequences and implications. b. Many young people choose to stay celibate or not to have sexual intercourse until they are absolutely sure that they have found the right partner to share their life with. They believe that sexual intercourse is so special that it should only be shared with the special person they have chosen. c. For very young people like all of you here, it is sensible to wait until you are older and responsible enough to handle the demands of a complicated relationship, marriage, and/or parenthood. 9. Some aspects of sexuality are matters of human rights. These are often called SEXUAL RIGHTS. a. They include the right to:   Choose sex partners and to form relationships based on personal choice and with consent;  Say yes or no to sex;  Express our sexuality with consent and that of our partner; 39 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents  Enjoy autonomy and respect for our body, free from sexual violence, or exploitation;  Obtain full and accurate information, education, and services; and  Protect ourselves against unwanted pregnancy and infection, including HIV. b. We also have responsibilities regarding our sexuality. We should:  Ensure that every sexual act we make has our consent and that of our partner;  Ensure that mutual consent to engage in sex includes the preparedness to assume the consequences of our activity (pregnancy); and  Protect our own health and that of our partner. 10. When a person forces (or attempts to force) another person to engage in a sexual activity, it is called SEXUAL COERCION and/or ABUSE. [Reinforce Module 1, Session 1.2] a. Nobody has the right to coerce or abuse anyone into engaging in sex. It is illegal and punishable by law. Anyone can be forced into unwanted sexual activity. Most commonly, however, girls and women are the victims of coercion. b. People may be sexually coerced in different ways: by emotional manipulation, deception, physical force or threats, intimidation, and economic inducements, to name a few. c. Forced sex and rape can happen anywhere (including at home or within families and in intimate relationships, as well as in settings normally considered safe such as schools and religious institutions). d. Touching someone’s body without her or his consent can also be a form of coercion. e. Sexual coercion may lead to emotional problems such as feelings of insecurity, isolation, and severe depression. It can also lead to physical injury. f. Coerced sex is more likely than consensual sex to result in unintended pregnancy, HIV infection, or other STIs. NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 40 SHAPE 11. What to do against sexual coercion? a. Tell the person very loudly that you want him or her to stop. b. Get louder if the person does not stop. Tell that person you will tell your mother or father or some other trusted adult. c. Run away! d. Tell someone you trust about the incident. e. Remember that your body is your body and if somebody’s touch makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say stop. f. Our country has laws that protect children and young people from unwanted or unwelcomed sexual advances. If you experience sexual coercion, it is your right to access those laws and seek justice. If you witness somebody being sexually coerced, it is also your duty to help and report the incident to trusted adults or authorities. 12. Some myths and misconceptions about sexuality: MYTHS FACTS A real male always  Masculinity is not dependent on the number of one’s sexual wants and is ready to partners or on how frequently one experiences sex. have sex.  Some males simply don’t want to have sex. They may think that sex before marriage is a commitment and entails responsibility or know that they are not yet ready for it. Such decision should be respected.  Not all males who have sex are “always” ready for it especially for its unintended consequences. There is something  Engagement in sex is not at all a measurement of a healthy, wrong with a guy if mature, or normal individual. It is a choice that needs to be he has not engaged in carefully made because of its life-long consequences. Anybody can sex by the time he is choose not to have sex. 15. Males have stronger  Males and females are both sexual in nature. No one is more sex drives and are sexual than the other. The female sexual drive can be just as more interested in strong as the male. sex than females.  However, Philippine society has traditionally allowed males to 41 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents MYTHS FACTS Females expressing express their interest in sex more openly. This is attributed to the their sexual feelings prevailing stereotype that males are more sexually aggressive are “malandi” or than females and must “release” these desires as part of their promiscuous. being “normal” males.  Females have the right to express their sexuality in safe, consensual, and nurturing way. Being lesbian, gay or  There is nothing unnatural about being attracted to or loving bisexual is unnatural. someone regardless of their sex or gender identity. Gay men are  A person’s sexual orientation or gender identity has nothing to do promiscuous and will with how many or how few partners a person will have or their try and jump into bed sexual behaviors. It is wrong and unfair to be judgmental about with every man they one’s sexual behavior by reason of his or her sexual orientation or meet. gender identity. Sex creates intimacy.  Sex can be an expression of intimacy but it is not the means to intimacy. True intimacy is not built through sexual encounters. True intimacy is built on trust, respect, understanding, honesty, and commitment. “You don’t love me if  While we often use the term “making love” for sexual intercourse, you don’t have sex love and sex are not the same thing. There are many ways to show with me.” love besides having sex. It is always safe to  Friends may be comforting and loyal. But parents and other share feelings or ask trusted adults have more knowledge and experience that they can questions about share to help you with your concerns or problems. sexuality with peers rather than with parents or other adults. 13. Synthesis of the session: a. Sexuality is part of our life and our total well-being. It includes desires or practices relating to someone of the other sex, the same sex, or both sexes. We are all sexual beings throughout our life. b. Experiencing sexual feeling is a normal part of growing up to become adults. It is biological and natural. What to do with sexual feelings is a decision we have to make and a matter of human rights. NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 42 SHAPE c. If one is able to express sexuality in a safe and respectful situation, it can be a source of pleasure and meaning in life. It can enhance happiness, well-being, health, and quality of life. d. Everybody needs to be tolerant of and have respect for the different ways sexuality is expressed across cultures and settings. e. Everyone has the right to say no to any kind of sexual action – from touching to anything else. This is true for all, regardless of one’s sexual orientation. Sex must always be consenting. f. If you have sexual rights, you also have responsibilities regarding sexuality. Those responsibilities include ensuring that every sexual act you make has the consent of your partner, that you always protect your own health and that of your partner, and that you are prepared in assuring the consequences of your action. g. Always remember that your body is your body and if somebody’s touch makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to refuse or to say stop. h. Adolescents can grow up to enjoy sex lives that are safe and satisfying, and that are characterized by dignity, equality, responsibility, and mutual respect. 43 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents CLOSING ACTIVITY. Bad Touch, Good Touch 1. To close the session, inform participants that they will perform an activity that will allow them to identify which parts of their body they do not want others to touch and which parts they are willing to let others touch. 2. Give each participant several strips of red and green sticky papers (or strip of green and red papers and adhesive tape). 3. Instruct them to identify and paste “red” strips of paper on body parts that they will not want others to touch and “green” strips of paper on body parts they can allow others to touch. 4. Ask each one to quickly explain why he or she does not want others to touch the parts he or she has taped with “red” strips of paper, and why he or she can allow others to touch the parts he or she has taped with “green” strips of paper. NURTURING MY SEXUALITY 44 SHAPE 5. As a final message, say: a. Now that your sexual and reproductive capacity has matured, it is important that you have a sense of which body parts are very private to you and you are not willing to let others touch them. Whatever reasons you have for marking those body parts are “off limits to others” is personal to you. It is your right to decide on your body. b. For adolescents like you, it is important that you own your body so that you are able to protect it from sexual advances. If somebody attempts to cross your “off limits” parts, you should not allow them. Say stop! Seek help when necessary. Protect your body. At the same time, we don’t also have the right to impose our sexual desires on others. c. Having a decision on owning your body, it is important that you respect others for whatever decision they made about their body. 6. Thank everyone for their active participation! FURTHER READINGS FOR FACILITATORS  FACT SHEET 13 (Sexuality);  FACT SHEET 14 (Sexual Rights);  FACT SHEET 15 (Sexuality and Society);  FACT SHEET 16 (Double Standards for Sexual Behaviors);  FACT SHEET 17 (Sexual Desire);  FACT SHEET 18 (Sexual Diversity);  FACT SHEET 19 (Anatomy and Sexual Pleasure);  FACT SHEET 20 (Sexual Consent and Coercion); and  FACT SHEET 21 (Sexual Development through Life Cycle). 45 NURTURING MY SEXUALITY Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE 46 SHAPE SESSION OBJECTIVES At the end of the session, participants are able to: 1. Explain the various developmental tasks and expectations that adolescents go through during adolescence period; and 2. Identify and explain life skills that can enable adolescents to go through these tasks and expectations in healthy and empowering ways. Time Allotment Materials Needed Methodology 90 minutes  Easel sheet (with two columns)  Role playing  Adhesive tape  Group discussion  Metacards  Markers  Cellphone with access to internet OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 1). Endings and Beginnings 1. Introduce the activity: a. Every person undergoes the process of growth and development – from our infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age or maturity. In each stage of life, we experience endings and beginnings – we unlearn or end certain patterns of behaviors and preferences and begin to adapt to new roles or behaviors that are more acceptable during such development stage. There are things that we are used to do or enjoy that we no longer enjoy in our current period of development. b. For example, during adolescence, an adolescent who used to being with his/her parents may already prefer being with his/her peers or friends. Childhood hobbies ends while adolescent interests and activities begins. c. Today, we will review the endings and beginnings that we are experiencing or have experienced in our journey from childhood to adolescence and relate them with the developmental tasks that are expected during adolescence. 47 JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents 2. Divide the participants into two groups – males and females. Request participants to go to the group that they are more comfortable with. 3. Give each group with an easel sheet or large paper that is divided into two columns marked as “endings” and “beginnings” and set of metacards and markers on which they will write their inputs. 4. Give the following instruction: a. Reflect on your experiences during your childhood and now as adolescent. b. Identify what are the things, activities, hobbies, interests, and behaviors that you used to like or do during childhood that you don’t like or do anymore at present. Write in the metacard and post them in the column for “endings.” For example: “playing dolls.” c. Proceed to the identification of new things or activities that you are now doing or beginning to enjoy or do as adolescents that you did not do or like during your childhood. Write and post these activities or things under the column for “beginnings.” d. After finishing your group outputs, post them in the designated place. e. Select a participant who can explain some of the outputs to the other participants if needed. 5. After they have posted their outputs, instruct each group to view the outputs of the other groups. Systematize the viewing to give all groups the chance to visit all the outputs. 6. Process the activity by asking the questions: a. What did you feel when you were doing the activity? b. Was it difficult or easy to identify your endings and beginnings? c. What lessons or insights did you learn from the activity? JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE 48 SHAPE OPENING ACTIVITY (OPTION 2). Selfie: Before and After 1. Introduce the activity with the introductory messages as stated in Opening Activity (Option 1). 2. Group the participants into two (2). 3. Instruct the participants to make two collages using an application from their cellphone – a collage of their childhood pictures (or five years ago) and another collage of their latest pictures (within one year ago). 4. Instruct them to project the collages using PowerPoint or other application that can project the image for everybody to see. 5. Process the activity by letting them describe the differences they can observe between the two collages (childhood versus adolescence). 6. Synthesize the activity by pointing out that the period of adolescence entails a lot of changes that they should understand so they can ensure healthy growth and development process. 7. Link the insights from the activity to the discussion of the key messages. KEY MESSAGES 1. Adolescence is a period of transition from childhood to adulthood. As discussed, it is marked by puberty which refers to the physiological or bodily changes that result in development of sexual and reproductive capacity. It is a time of rapid physical growth that brings about confusion, insecurities, and even fear among many adolescents. 2. As a transition stage, adolescence is also characterized by “endings” and “beginnings.” a. It is an ending because it is a time of letting go especially of things, activities, and preferences associated with childhood (e.g. playing child toys, watching cartoons, wearing shorts, etc.). 49 JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents b. You often hear adults telling you: “hindi ka na bata” or “matanda ka na” These are adult comments that pressures you to act “your age” – the things that are expected of you as adolescents who are more mature than children. c. It is a beginning because you are learning new ways of being and behaving. You have found or starting to like or learn new skills, hobbies, or activities which you were not able to do or have when you were a child (e.g. having a “crush,” engaging into more mature discussions, etc.). d. It is also a period of awakening and discovering new images of one’s self, new abilities, relationships, perspectives, experiences, and insights. 3. Every stage of development (i.e. infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity) has specific challenges, goals, and tasks. These are called developmental tasks and expectations that a person goes through and try to accomplish to be more prepared for the next stage of development. These also determine the patterns of behaviors of an individual within that specific development stage. 4. Developmental tasks during adolescence is summarized into Four “I’s,” namely, Identity and Individuality, Independence, Intimacy, and Intellectual Ability. a. IDENTITY AND INDIVIDUALITY  Identity is a set of attitudes and beliefs about who we are. Individuality, on the other hand, is the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind.  Forming an identity is a lifelong process, but crucial aspects of your identity are typically formed especially during middle adolescence, including developing an identity that reflects a sense of individuality as well as connection to valued people and groups. This is primarily due to puberty which makes you aware that you are changing and becoming a new someone.  Important aspects of the identity you are forming pertain to your gender, physical attributes, sexuality, and ethnicity, among others.  In the search for identity, you may experience role confusion in balancing or choosing among identities, taking on negative or undesirable identities. o Sometimes, you are torn and feel pulled into two different directions. On one hand, you need to feel unique and special, while on the other hand, you want to belong or fit in with your friends. JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE 50  SHAPE  Adolescents usually try to form their identities through their peers and role models such as celebrities or persons they admire or they can relate with (e.g. parents).  For you to nurture your own identity and individuality, continuously DEVELOP yourself and evolve into someone that you aspire to be. o D - Develop and pursue your own life goals and aspirations. Move towards the direction you want to take in life. o E – Enhance your strengths, interests, passions, and potentials by seizing opportunities where you can further develop them. Explore new things in a healthy way with calculated risks. Part of calculated risk is to set and observe your self-limit (e.g. What are the things that I should not do because they can harm me or derail my growth?). Do not be afraid to commit mistakes but learn from them so they don’t happen again. o V – Value things that are aligned with your own established principles and aspirations. “Piliin ang pangarap, huwag ipagpalit sa sandaling sarap!” o E – Emulate good role models who have positive influence on your values, attitude, and behaviors. o L - Learn about your heritage or the cultural background and stories of your parents so you can have a sense of your cultural roots as part of the process of forming your identity. o O – Open yourself to constructive feedback and criticisms. These feedbacks teach us what to improve on and how to nurture our individuality. o P – Promote equality and individuality. Avoid judgmental attitude to others and gender and socially constructed stereotypes or biases. b. INDEPENDENCE  Adolescents may yearn to keep a safe, secure, supportive, dependent relationship with their parents as they used to during childhood but they start to realize the need for independence, autonomy, and being one's own person. Adolescents want to be able to make their own decisions, choose their own friends, plan their own activities, think their own thoughts, and dream their own dreams.  As adolescents pursue their independence, they gravitate towards their friends with whom they identify with and find belongingness. They spend more time with them.   51 JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents  In an attempt to assert their need for independence and individuality, adolescents may respond in seemingly hostile and uncooperative manner particularly towards their parents or family. As such, it is not easy for parents or teenagers to smoothly navigate this transitional stage as it often creates tension and strain in the parent-child relationship. Adolescents often do not recognize their need for adult supervision, guidance, and support in their transition to adulthood.   Adolescents begin to ask for an equal voice in decisions affecting their lives. When they are not consulted, they tend to sulk and or withdraw.  In nurturing your independence, be FREE in life. o F - Foster accountability and responsibility in your own actions and decisions. Exercise critical thinking in making your own choices and decisions which you can stand-up for including its consequences. Set-up and plan your personal life goals and pursue them. o R – Recognize and respect parental guidance as expression of their love for you rather than threat to your independence. Negotiate and reach a compromise with your parents in keeping your privacy and the means of communicating with you (e.g. allowable time for you to be with your peers). Set and follow clear and acceptable rules and expectations in terms of ensuring your safety and wellbeing while they relate with your peers. o E – Express your opinions and ideas in an engaging and enabling dialogue with parents and significant others especially in matters and decisions that concerns your growth and development. Maintain respect in expressing yourself and contribute productively in the discussion. o E – Enhance confidence and self-esteem in doing new and challenging tasks. Do not be afraid to commit mistakes; learn from them to further improve yourself. c. INTIMACY  As part of their sexual maturation, adolescents feel sexual attraction to others and start to feel the desire to be close and intimate with someone. Intimacy is the affectionate or loving personal relationship with someone.  Sometimes, having a special friend or being “on” with someone, makes them feel “loved” and it boosts one's confidence. When relationships are JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE 52 SHAPE characterized by intimacy and good communication, teens are happier with themselves.  Young people value the support, trust, and closeness they experience in romantic relationships. In fact, teens have more conflicts with their parents and peers than with romantic partners. Spending time together in activities that both partners enjoy is very important to young couples. When this dimension of intimacy is missing, relationships often come to an end.  Healthy relationships can support sexuality development, an important part of growing to adulthood. However, most adolescents believe that sex should occur within the context of a romantic relationship, as such, intimacy may result to sexual engagements. In most cases, these results to unintended pregnancies or infections to STIs and HIV/AIDS that significantly impact on their capacity to achieve their life goals.  Moreover, relationships can have other psychological down sides. Entering the world of relationships almost inevitably leads to the emotionally vulnerable experience of breaking up. For youth who are more sensitive to rejection, breaking up can trigger a dive into self-doubt and despair. Low- quality relationships that are characterized by a lack of trust, constant conflict, and dating violence can also leave young people prey to depression and anxiety.  It is also normal for children to have no interest in romantic relationships until their late teens. Some choose to focus on schoolwork, sport or other interests.  In nurturing intimacy, express your love in a healthy way and open yourself to BE LOVED. o B – Be discerning and critical in engaging into romantic relationships. Recognize and experience the sexual feelings and emotions that comes with being “in love” but set limits in terms of engaging in more physically intimate activities which have unintended consequences that you may not yet ready to assume. Do not be carried by strong sexual desires that may lead to risky sexual behaviors. Negotiate, refuse, and learn to say “no” to any unwanted physical intimacies including sexual intercourse. Moreover, do not let your negative emotions from failed relationships affect your self-esteem and motivation to pursue your aspirations. 53 JOURNEYING THROUGH ADOLESCENCE  Sexually Healthy and Personally Empowered Adolescents o E – Experience and nurture the happy thoughts and positive impact of romantic relationships. Make the relationship as an inspiration and mutual support system for you to strive towards the achievement of your own and your partner’s life goals. o L – Love yourself. “Being loved” is not always receiving love from someone else. Love of self is a stronger foundation of happiness and self-esteem towards a more positive relationship. o O – Open-up with your parents about your sexual feelings and relationships so you can be properly guided. o V – Voice-out or strongly express objection against abusive, violent, and unhealthy relationships. Violence can never be justified o E – Express intimacy in healthy and responsible ways. o D – Do not be pressured to enter or engage into intimate or romantic relationships. It is normal for adolescents not to have intimate or romantic relationships because of various reasons. Focus or divert your attention and energy to more productive endeavors. d. INTELLECTUAL ABILITY OR COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT  Cognitive development means the growth of an adole