Biblical Examples of Anger Management PDF

Chapter 3 Chapter Outline: In this chapter the roles of characters in the bible are a prime example of how anger is treated. These examples are made in the past to better the future by teaching Christians the best ways to solve troubling problems, speci...

Chapter 3 Chapter Outline: In this chapter the roles of characters in the bible are a prime example of how anger is treated. These examples are made in the past to better the future by teaching Christians the best ways to solve troubling problems, specifically anger. Biblical Examples Jonah: Disappointed in God Jonah 3-4 The people of Nineveh were enemies of Israel. They were an exceptionally cruel, wicked, and idolatrous people who sought dominion over the entire region. They employed brutal warfare to conquer others. Why did Jonah get so angry (4:1-3)? What do you think he had hoped would happen? Has life -- or the Lord-disappointed you in some way? Describe what happened and how you feel today. Martha: Disappointed in another Person Luke 10:38-42 Can you relate to Martha's frustration (v. 39-40)? Why or why not? Adam Clarke's commentary views Martha's hospitality as a demonstration of her generous and benevolent spirit. But in love and devotion to Christ, she prepared more food than 39 necessary - this is why she needed Mary's help. What was Martha's root problem, according to Jesus (vv. 41-42)? Think about a recent time when you were angered by another person because he (or she) didn't meet your expectations. Why do you think your disappointment turned to anger? Judas: Disappointed in Himself Matthew 27:1-5 What did Judas realize (vv. 3-4)? What indicates that he could not forgive himself (v. 5)? If you are angry with yourself because of past sins or mistakes, confess your shortcoming and remember that the Lord's love for you is unconditional. Why can you be confident that God doesn't hold your sin against you (Romans 8:1-2; 1 John 1:9)? Handling Disappointment Correctly Depending on the nature of the disappointment, your response should include some of the following. (The order will vary.) 1. Express your feelings to the Lord. God already knows how you feel and why. But pouring your heart out to Him prepares you to experience His love and comfort. What reasons did David have to be disappointed (Psalm 22:2, 6-8, 11-18)? David responded to hardship by trusting in the Lord and praying for deliverance. Why is this a good way to diffuse anger caused by disappointment? 40  2. Remind yourself that God is still in control, and He has the highest good in mind for you. As a part of declaring trust in the Lord, what did David recall (Psalm 22:4-5, 9- 10)? How could you apply his approach to your life? Describe his emotions at the end of the Psalm (vv. 26-31). What is God's ultimate goal for believers (Romans 8:29)? Describe a disappointment that developed your character. What did you learn through that experience? We often interpret Romans 8:28 to mean that if one option doesn't work out, a better option will come along. But from the Lord's perspective, our character development - rather than our comfort or desires - is of the highest importance. In times of trouble, we can choose to focus on the spiritual truths God is teaching us. 3. When the opportunity to fulfill a dream has passed, ask the Lord for a new goal. Read Psalm 37:1-6. Why should we not fret when others mistreat us (vv. 1-2)? What should we tum our attention to instead (vv. 3-4)? What does God promise ifwe will do that (vv. 5-6)? Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." If you need a new vision for your life, ask the Father to give you one. 4. Reaffirm your hope in God as your provider. 41  What needs does the Father promise to meet (Matthew 6:30-34)? When God does not meet practical needs--such as money for the bills or healing for a sick body-what promise do we have (Philippians 4:11-13)? What happens within us if we cast our anxiety on the Lord (vv. 6-7)? In other words, even in times of lack, we can experience supernatural joy and peace as we place our trust in our heavenly Father. Disappointments can serve as reminders to place our hope fully in the Lord. 5. Move on. Why is it so important that we "forget the former things" (Isaiah 43:18-19)? What things might God want us to remember about the past? What new venture or challenge do you think the Lord wants you to focus on instead of dwelling on your disappointments? God doesn't want us to get stuck in the past-either regretting mistakes and lost opportunities or reminiscing about "the good old days." Closing: When life takes an unexpected tum, we don't have to respond in anger. Ask the Lord for fresh hope and a new vision. That's a prayer He will be sure to answer. Prayer: Father, teach me to deal with disappointments in a healthy way. When they make me angry, show me bow to respond so that I will not give Satan a foothold in my life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen." (http://www.intouch.org/you/bible-studies/content.aspx?topic=Disappointment_study) 42  Jonah's Story: Jonah Goes to Nineveh Jonah 1:1-2, 3-10 "Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you." Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming, "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown." The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. When Jonah's warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened (Jonah 1:1-2, 3-10). Jonah's Anger at the Lord's Compassion Jonah 4:1-10 "But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, "Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by 43 fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live." But the Lord replied, "Is it right for you to be angry?" Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant[a]and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better for me to die than to live." But God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?" "It is," he said. "And I'm so angry I wish I were dead." But the Lord said, ''You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left-and also many animals?" (Jonah 4:1-10). Moses: The Matter of Anger, A Moment of Rage Numbers 20:1-13 "In the first month the whole Israelite community arrived at the Desert of Zin, and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried. Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. They quarreled with 44 Moses and said, "If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the Lord! Why did you bring the Lord's community into this desert, that we and our livestock should die here? Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!" Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord said to Moses, "Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink. " So Moses took the staff from the Lord's presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them." These were the waters of Meribah, where the Israelites quarreled with the Lord and where he showed himself holy among them (Numbers 20:1-13). Acts of Violence in Our Society Are Not Rare We hear of acts of rage almost every day in the news. Someone would not stop texting in a movie theater and rage got the best of a retired policeman and he shot the man. A man shot 10 rounds into a car full of boys at a gas station because their music was too loud. A pastor's wife was killed by her husband. A 26 year old woman started arguing with her husband of two years 45 and ended up stabbing him to death. Many people are living with life-long consequences for the choices they made in a moment of passion or foolishness. In an act of intense anger Moses lashed out at a rock. It seemed to be an insignificant and harmless act. God dealt with Moses on this issue. Because he disobeyed God and acted out in a rage, Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land. How God deals with this situation will help us know how God may handle us when we behave in a similar manner. We are all subject to make sudden choices that we regret the rest of our lives (Poovey, 2015). There are five levels of intensity in the emotion anger. The first level of anger is irritation. This is a feeling of uneasiness that is brought about by an unpleasant disturbance. Irritation is a feeling of being annoyed or distressed. It causes resentment. ' The second level of anger is indignation. Indignation is a reaction to something that is perceived to be unreasonable or 46  unfair. This is typified as righteous anger or outrage. The third level of anger is wrath. When anger reaches this level, it must be expressed in some way. Wrath is belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong. This is intense anger. Wrath comes with a strong desire to avenge or defend oneself. The fourth level of anger is fury. Fury is usually manifested in acts of violence that are accompanied by a loss of control. Fury is defined as a state of violent mental agitation, being wild or turbulent. The fifth level of anger is rage. Rage is the most hostile and dangerous stage. Rage can overcome people with explosive acts of brutality that are devoid of any conscious awareness of their violent outburst. These levels of anger demonstrate the need for self-control. Anyone who experiences this uncontrolled escalation of anger describes a lack of self-control. Changes in self-control are very complicated without a life changing relationship with Jesus Christ. Unbelievers lack 47 what believers have. The Holy Spirit has been given to us to regulate our Christian life. His power can bring harmful feelings of anger under control. The Bible describes the characteristics of the believer as the Fruit of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit working within us creates these characteristics. Unfortunately, believers do not always draw upon the restraining power of God. Sometimes Christians are out of control. This is not only seen in relation to anger. It is also demonstrated in lifestyles that are contrary to the nature of Christ. Look at the history of Moses' anger. It is said the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Moses had a history of getting angry. Moses' anger was seen in his early adult years in Egypt. Moses became indignant when he witnessed an Egyptian beating a fellow Hebrew. His rage led to an act of fury. The dead Egyptian resulted in Moses fleeing for his life (Exodus 2:11-15; Acts 7:23-29). The next recorded outbreak occurs forty years later. Moses announced the coming of the tenth plague on all the Egyptians' firstborns. The Bible says: "He went out from Pharaoh in hot anger" (Exodus 11:8). He was furious that Pharaoh would not let the Israelites leave. God had told him how stubborn Pharaoh would be. Moses was not emotionally prepared to deal with Pharaoh's stubbornness. The third expression of Moses anger is seen several months following this event. Moses had just spent some extra-ordinary time in the presence of God. He was descending Mount Sinai with the two tablets that had been inscribed by the finger of God. He could not understand the unrighteousness of the Israelites. The people were perversely dancing around an idolatrous golden cal£ "The sight filled Moses with righteous indignation" (Exodus 32:15-19). 48  What Was Wrong Was The Way Moses Chose to Express His Anger? When Moses approached the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, his anger burned and he threw the tablets out of his hands, breaking them to pieces at the foot of the mountain. And he took the calf they had made and burned it in the fire; then he ground it to powder, scattered it on the water and made the Israelites drink it (Exodus 32:19 - 20). What Did God Require Moses to Do After This? God told Moses to write down the words of the covenant (Ten Commandments) on the tablets of stone. Now, look at this latest example ofMoses's anger, Numbers 20:1-13. This is Moses' last recorded eruption of temper. He has been Israel's leader for about forty years. They have been on a constant journey throughout the region. Much of the time the Israelites have been complaining. Their complaining was a lack of faith and an act of disobedience to God. As a result, the people were dying off in the wilderness. There are very few exceptions. Joshua, Caleb, and Moses were among the few who had escaped this divine judgment. Finally, they arrive at "the wilderness of Zin," just south of the Promised Land (Number 20:1). The conditions were similar to what they had found on previous occasions. The people found no food or water to drink (Exodus 34:27-28). 49  Numbers 20:3 - 5 The people contended with Moses, saying, "If only we had died when our brothers died before the Lord! Why have you brought up the Lord's community into this wilderness? So that we and our cattle should die here? Why have you brought us up from Egypt only to bring us to this dreadful place? It is no place for grain, or figs, or vines, or pomegranates; nor is there any water to drink!" Their complaining sent Moses and Aaron to the Lord in prayer. Moses had emptied his emotional bucket. He was fed up with those people. All they could do was complain. He was carrying the frustration and scars from his past. Deep and unresolved anger and other emotions can leave us vulnerable to impulsive choices. The problem is not our past. The problem is our failure to bring our past to God for perspective and healing. So, here Moses is dealing with those same rebellious people one more time. God could never do enough for them to be satisfied and trust Him. God gave them a specific and grace- filled answer. Numbers 20:8 "Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals." God's directions were clear. Moses' actions were to bring glory to God. The last time Moses was in this position, God told 50 him to smite the rock. When he did that, the rock gushed out water that satisfied the need. Now, Moses was to give honor to God by speaking to the rock. Moses was indignant. When people are angry and out of control it is difficult to act reasonably. Moses' anger was out of control. He gathered the assembly around the designated rock where God was going to demonstrate His grace. Listen to what he said. Numbers 20:10-11 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. God graciously by-passed Moses' disobedience and purposefully demonstrated grace. The miracle was intended to point to the power of God. The miracle was designed to honor God as holy. When Moses disobeyed God, there were consequences. We should find and root out things in our lives that have the potential to keep us from obeying and fearing the Lord. Moses' anger caused him to act irrationally. In a rage of anger he struck the rock twice. Out of control emotions bring unwanted results to our lives. This was the last time God would allow Moses to fail. The consequences of his actions were painful. Since Moses did this, God would not allow him to lead the Hebrews into the Promised Land. God was willing to forgive Moses, but the consequences were still painful to bear. Numbers 20:12 But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I 51 give them. " Living Life Under Control Much of our society is out of control. We see evidences of this all around. God does not want His people to be like that. "Listed among the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control," Galatians 5:22-23. The God-controlled life will manifest emotions and actions that are under control. The remedy for the condition of the world is found in the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The Church must exemplify a life of control. The answer for the out of control attitudes of our world is God working in us. We must accurately reflect the influence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Philippians 2:15 "That you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" (Anderson, 2014). Martha's Story: At the Home of Martha and Mary As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are 52 worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'' (Luke 10:38-42). There are many Bible characters that we know much about. Such people are the subject of frequent studies and may even have whole books or chapters of books devoted to them and the lessons we can learn from them. There are other people mentioned in the Bible about whom we know very little. These people may only be mentioned in passing or are found in only one or two places in the Bible. Often these people are overlooked, yet they appear in our Bibles for a reason. John 20:30-31 tells us that Jesus did many things that were not recorded in the Bible. The things that were recorded are to strengthen our faith. Second Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that everything in the Bible is from God and is for our learning. With this in mind, there can be no doubt that these little known, "forgotten" men and women of the Bible can teach us valuable lessons today. Most people who have any knowledge of the Bible at all know of King David. Those who know of David probably also know pf his wife Bathsheba. Fewer possibly remember his first wife Michal and fewer still might recall his wife Abigail. Even though Abigail's short story is found only in Chapter 25 of 1 Samuel, there is much that can be learned from this amazing woman. When we first read of Abigail, David is having a difficult time. King Saul, due to his disobedience to God, was told he would be the first and last from his family to rule on the throne. God promised to give the kingdom to another; the prophet Samuel anointed David as the next king over Israel. Saul, fueled by his great jealousy of David, set out to kill his 53 successor. To escape the wrath of King Saul, David fled and wandered the country with about six hundred loyal soldiers. During his travels, David stayed for a time near Mount Carmel (1 Samuel 25:1-2) where he defended the shepherds ofNabal against enemies and animals. Later David sent ten of his men to Nabal and asked for provisions for his men. Nabal scorned the messengers and David, and gave nothing. In anger, David readied four hundred of his soldiers for battle and marched toward Nabal. His intent was to slaughter all males ofNabal's house, young and old alike. It is at this moment in time that Abigail is introduced. While Nabal is described as "churlish and evil in his doings," his wife Abigail is described as "woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance" (I Samuel 25:3). Through her servants, Abigail heard of the rude and inhospitable actions of her husband. This wise woman realized the danger she and her household were in and set about to appease David. Beginning in verse 18 of I Samuel Chapter 25, we read of Abigail's actions. She prepared a supply of provisions over and above what David had requested and went out to meet him. Once she met David on the road, Abigail immediately began her appeal. First, she humbly asked to speak to him. Abigail recognized the greatness of David and his future position as king. Even though she had more material possessions than David did at the time, she placed herself in a position to offer him respect and humility. She also accepted responsibility for the actions of her husband. "But I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send" (1 Samuel 25:25). Even though she was not directly responsible for the turning away of David's men, she accepted the responsibility since it was one of her household that rejected them. In a time when very few accept responsibility for anything, Abigail is a fine example of a woman who made herself accountable for the things in 54 her home. She is also a wonderful example of the humility we as Christians are to demonstrate in our own lives (Matthew 18:4; 23:12; James 4:10). Next, Abigail appealed to David's love of God and righteousness. She pointed out that Nabal was foolish and it was beneath David to respond so harshly to the offense at Nabal's hand. Abigail continued by pointing out that if David were to carry out his plan, he would be taking the responsibility of vengeance away from God and putting it on himself (Romans 12:19). This wise woman also urged David to consider how he would feel later. After the heat of the moment passed, she knew David would feel guilty ifhe murdered Nabal and his household for the inhospitable actions (1 Samuel 25:31). As future king oflsrael and a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22), David would be happier ifhe were guilt free in this matter. We also need to remember to let God avenge the wrongs done to us and be free of the guilt of revenge. In the end, Abigail's words and actions turned the wrath of David. Like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31, Abigail used her mouth for wisdom and kindness. Abigail demonstrated with her words the truth of Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer tumeth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Abigail used sound arguments and soft words to persuade David not to sin against God and his fellow man. It is interesting that Abigail not once pleaded with David for her own interests. If David had continued with his plan, Abigail would have been left without a husband and a means of support. Yet she never mentioned this in her reasoning. Every indication from the text is that life with Nabal was very unpleasant. David's plan to kill Nabal would have freed Abigail from the unpleasantness of her marriage. Not even this possibility kept this godly woman from doing 55 what was right in intervening on her husband's behalf and in the best interest of David. Abigail is a good example of one who made the best of her situation. She was obedient and godly even with the poor example for righteousness her husband was. Many today use similar circumstances as an excuse for divorce. God clearly states in several passages that the only acceptable reason for divorce is in the case of adultery (Matthew 19:9). God's ideal for marriage is one man, for one woman, for life. This fact is all the more reason for individuals considering marriage to do all they can to be sure the person they marry is one who will be suitable and pleasant down the road. Abigail was rewarded in this life for her wisdom and good character. About ten days after David's aborted attack, God avenged David and smote Nabal (1 Samuel 25:38). When David heard of the death, he sent and asked Abigail to be his wife; she accepted. Many lessons can be learned from the wise Abigail. She truly exemplifies Proverbs 14:3, "In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them" (Rushmore, 2002). Chapter4 Chapter Outline: These pages include questions often asked by people throughout the_ world. Some of these including, "Is it alright to be angry?" or "Is anger a sin?" "Question: "What does the Bible say about anger?" Answer: Handling anger is an important life skill. Christian counselors report 56  that 50 percent of people who come in for counseling have problems dealing with anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships, and it ruins both the joy and health of many. Sadly, people tend to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it. Everyone struggles, to varying degrees, with anger. Thankfully, God's Word contains principles regarding how to handle anger in a godly manner, and how to overcome sinful anger. Anger is not always sin. There is a type of anger of which the Bible approves, often called "righteous indignation." God is angry (Psalm 7:11; Mark 3:5), and believers are commanded to be angry (Ephesians 4:26). Two Greek words in the New Testament are translated as "anger." One means "passion, energy" and the other means "agitated, boiling." Biblically, anger is God-given energy intended to help us solve problems. That being said, it is important to recognize that anger at an injustice inflicted against oneself is also appropriate. Anger has been said to be a warning flag-it alerts us to those times when others are attempting to or have violated our boundaries. God cares for each individual. Sadly, we do not always stand up for one another, meaning that sometimes we must stand up for ourselves. This is especially important when considering the anger that victims often feel. Victims of abuse, violent crime, or the like have been violated in some way. Often while experiencing the trauma, they do not experience anger. Later, in working through the trauma, anger will emerge. For a victim to reach a place of true health and forgiveness, he or she must first accept the trauma for what it was. In order to fully accept that an act was unjust, one must sometimes experience anger. Because of the complexities of trauma recovery, this anger is often not short-lived, particularly for victims of abuse. Victims should process through their anger and come to a place of acceptance, even forgiveness. This is often a long journey. As God 57 heals the victim, the victim's emotions, including anger, will follow. Allowing the process to occur does not mean the person is living in sin. Anger can become sinful when it is motivated by pride (James 1:20), when it is unproductive and thus distorts God's purposes (1 Corinthians 10:31), or when anger is allowed to linger (Ephesians 4:26-27). One obvious sign that anger has turned to sin is when, instead of attacking the problem at hand, we attack the wrongdoer. Ephesians 4:15-19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips. Unfortunately, this poisonous speech is a common characteristic of fallen man (Romans 3:13-14). Anger becomes sin when it is allowed to boil over without restraint, resulting in a scenario in which hurt is multiplied (Proverbs 29:11), leaving devastation in its wake. Often, the consequences of out-of-control anger are irreparable. Anger also becomes sin when the angry one refuses to be pacified, holds a grudge, or keeps it all inside (Ephesians 4:26-27). This can cause depression and irritability over little things, which are often unrelated to the underlying problem. We can handle anger biblically by recognizing and admitting our prideful anger and/or our wrong handling of anger as sin (Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:9). This confession should be both to God and to those who have been hurt by our anger. We should not minimize the sin by excusing it or blame-shifting. We can handle anger biblically by seeing God in the trial. This is especially important when people have done something to offend us. James I :2-4, Romans 8:28-29, and Genesis 50:20 all point to the fact that God is sovereign over every circumstance and person that crosses our path. Nothing happens to us that He does not cause or allow. Though God does allow bad things to happen, He is always faithful to redeem them for the good of His people. God is a good God (Psalm 145:8, 9, 17). Reflecting on this truth until it 58 moves from our heads to our hearts will alter how we react to those who hurt us. We can handle anger biblically by making room for God's wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when "evil" men abuse "innocent" people. Genesis 50:19 and Romans 12:19 both tell us to not play God. God is righteous andjust, and we can trust Him who knows all and sees all to act justly (Genesis 18:25). We can handle anger biblically by returning good for evil (Genesis 50:21; Romans 12:21). This is key to converting our anger into love. As our actions flow from our hearts, so also our hearts can be altered by our actions (Matthew 5:43-48). That is, we can change our feelings toward another by changing how we choose to act toward that person. We can handle anger biblically by communicating to solve the problem. There are four basic rules of communication shared in Ephesians 4:15, 25-32: 1. Be honest and speak (Ephesians 4:15, 25). People cannot read our minds. We must speak the truth in love. 2. Stay current (Ephesians 4:26-27). We must not allow what is bothering us to build up until we lose control. It is important to deal with what is bothering us before it reaches critical mass. 3. Attack the problem, not the person (Ephesians 4:29, 31). Along this line, we must remember the importance of keeping the volume of our voices low (Proverbs 15:1). 4. Act, don't react (Ephesians 4:31-32). Because of our fallen nature, our first impulse is often a sinful one (v. 31). The time spent in "counting to ten" should be used to reflect upon the godly way to respond (v. 32) and to remind ourselves how the energy anger provides should be used to solve problems and not create bigger ones. At times we can handle anger preemptively by putting up stricter boundaries. We are 59 told to be discerning (1 Corinthians 2:15-16; Matthew 10:16). We need not "cast our pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). Sometimes our anger leads us to recognize that certain people are unsafe for us. We can still forgive them, but we may choose not to re-enter the relationship. Finally, we must act to solve our part of the problem (Romans 12:18). We cannot control how others act or respond, but we can make the changes that need to be made on our part. Overcoming a temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon God's Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. We may have allowed anger to become entrenched in our lives by habitual practice, but we can also practice responding correctly until that, too, becomes a habit and God is glorified in our response" (What Does The Bible Say About Anger, 2019). Is Getting Angry A Sin? Getting angry is very easy nowadays. Hardly a week goes by that we don't get upset over at least three or four things. Millions of honest, hardworking people are outraged because their savings or pension has been slashed due to the greedy dealings of big corporations. Others are mad because they've been laid off from their job. Still others have lost their house. Many are trapped in painful, expensive illness. Those all seem like good reasons to be irate. We Christians find ourselves asking: "Is getting angry a sin?" Ifwe look through the Bible, we find many references to anger. We know that Moses, the prophets, and even Jesus got angry at times. Is all the rage we're feeling today justified (Zavada, 2017)? "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" (Proverbs 29:11). 60  Getting angry is a temptation. What we do after that can lead to sin. If God doesn't want us to vent our anger, we need to see what's worth getting mad about in the first place, and second, what God wants us to do with those feelings. Worth Getting Angry About? Much of what gets us worked up could be classified as irritants, those time-wasting, ego- bruising nuisances that threaten to make us lose control. But stress is cumulative. Pile up enough of those insults, and we're ready to explode. If we're not careful, we can say or do something we'll be sorry for later. God counsels patience toward these aggravations. They will never stop, so we need to learn how to handle them (Zavada, 2017). "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes" (Psalm 37:7, NIV) Echoing this Psalm is a Proverb: Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you" (Proverbs 20:22) There is a hint that something bigger is going on. These annoyances are frustrating, yes, but God is in control. Ifwe truly believe that, we can wait for him to work. We don't need to jump in, thinking God's off napping somewhere. Distinguishing between petty trifles and serious injustice can be difficult, especially when we're biased because we are the victim. We can blow things out of proportion (Zavada, 2017). "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12) 61  Patience is not our natural reaction, though. How about revenge? Or holding a grudge? Or shock when God doesn't immediately zap the other person with a lightning bolt? Growing a thicker skin so these insults bounce off is not easy. We hear so much today about our "rights" that we see every slight, intended or not, as a personal attack against us. Much of what gets us angry is just thoughtlessness. People are rushed, self-centered, worried about their own little world. Even when someone is deliberately rude, we need to resist the urge to lash out in kind. In his.Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells his followers to abandon that "eye for an eye" attitude. If we want nastiness to stop, we need to set the example (Zavada, 2017). Foolish Consequences We can seek to live our lives under the control of the Holy Spirit or we can let the sinful nature of our flesh have its way. It's a choice we make every day. We can either turn to the Lord for patience and strength or we can allow potentially destructive emotions like anger to run unchecked. lfwe choose the latter, God's Word cautions us over and over of consequences. Proverbs 14:17 says, "A quick-tempered man does foolish things." Proverbs 16:32 follows with this encouragement: "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." Summing these up is James 1:19-20: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires" (Zavada, 2017). Righteous Anger When Jesus got angry- at the moneychangers in the temple or the self-serving 62 Pharisees-it was because they were exploiting religion instead of using it to bring people closer to God. Jesus taught the truth but they refused to listen. We can also get angry at injustice, such as killing the unborn, human trafficking, selling illegal drugs, molesting children, maltreating workers, polluting our environment... the list goes on and on. Rather than stewing about the problems, we can band together with others and take action to fight, by peaceful, lawful means. We can volunteer and donate to organizations that oppose abuse. We can write our elected officials. We can form a neighborhood watch. We can educate others, and we can pray (Zavada, 2017). Evil is a strong force in our world, but we cannot stand by and do nothing. God wants us to use our anger constructively, to combat wrongdoing. Don't Be a Doormat How are we to respond to personal attacks, to the betrayals, thievery, and injuries that hurt us so deeply? "But I tell you, do·not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:39) Jesus may have been speaking in hyperbole, but he also told his followers to be as "shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16). We are to protect ourselves without stooping to the level of our attackers. An angry outburst accomplishes little, besides satisfying our emotions. It also gratifies those who believe all Christians are hypocrites. Jesus told us to expect persecution. The nature of today's world is that someone is always trying to take advantage ofus. lfwe are shrewd yet innocent, we will not be as shocked 63