CCRT 21st Century PDF

CHAPTER I 3 CCRT NOW 21st First Century Doctor Glasser concludes with this statement in 1965, I was 5 years old at the time he wrote, "This briefbut important discussion ofthe application ofReality Therapy to mental hygiene concludes the book....

CHAPTER I 3 CCRT NOW 21st First Century Doctor Glasser concludes with this statement in 1965, I was 5 years old at the time he wrote, "This briefbut important discussion ofthe application ofReality Therapy to mental hygiene concludes the book. More will be written as people begi,n to use the principles ofReality Therapy and add theirfindings to our small beginning. If we have provoked new thoughts and criticism, we welcome it; the problem with helping people to lead responsible lives will never be solved, with- out critical thinking ofintelligent people, both inside and outside psychiatry." (Reality Therapy, 1965) At the outset many years ago when I began to consider the possibility of Christ Centered Reality Therapy, I was to some extent concerned the psychiatric and mental health com- munity would view CCRT as a really bad copy of an existing theory. I am pleased to state after 35 years of the practical application of CCRT, I am con- fident Christ Centered Reality Therapy is the quintessential finishing point of Reality Therapy. Reality Therapy was meant to be adapted to a multiplicity of mental health and 197 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY educational situations. CCRT simplicity is the finishing nail to client and counselor suc- cess. Reality Therapy and CCRT's core principles provide an attitude of never giving up but demands success in the client and counselors. This is coupled with a realistic applica- tion and understanding to all educational and mental health wants and needs. The coun- selor is free to use whatever tourniquets needed to aid in the quest for success. Accompanying the client needs is the practical application of being responsible for their actions. Normality and responsibility are linked together in action-based reality. Requiring normality is reality. Christ Centered Reality Therapy utilizes the initial theme of requiring normality and quantifies the abstract concept with a concert of concrete Christian absolutes. CCRT has replaced and transformed Reality Therapy's secular, humanistic evolu- tionary medical model by establishing a baseline for concrete Christian behavioral abso- lutes. The absolutes give rise to a new and practical holistic application to the therapeutic modality. At the heart of CCRT is behavior modification through concrete positive actions. For the counselor Christian or otherwise, it is absolutely critical to have a fluid working knowledge of how a client would best learn new objectives. The good news about learning is we each learn at different rates, and frequencies. A great deal of research has gone into the practical application of educational psychology. Reality Therapy, in its earliest inception, was enthusiastically used in educational settings, as a behavior modification approach. The behavior modification approach in CCRT es- sentially means clear and concise communication between counselor and client. CCRT is exceedingly directive counseling with individual positive resolve. The clear dialogue be- tween the client and the councilor is without question necessary for installation of success. In any group, audience, congregation, or individuals, there will be a statistical spread of 33.3% difference in learning styles. Individuals each have a learning style which is natural from birth but through the educational process individuals adapt to new ways oflearning. Each person usually resists one of the three styles stubbornly. 198  CHAPTER 13 CCRT Many people do not like to read, take notes or hate listening in the lecture hall, but each person who has gone through any educational system has been exposed to all three learning styles. Each individual has been taught by way of the educational process how to utilize the other learning styles. How do you know which learning style is dominant in your life? Even more important, why would learning styles be important to a counselor? How does this affect and/or effect the Christ Centered Reality Therapy Counseling system? The learning style one favors the most is the dominant, but most often a combination of learning styles will be present. For example, one who likes to read and takes notes is then visual, and this would be the primary learning style. Taking notes would be tactile and is secondary. This could mean if an individual is forced to sit through a lecture, they are much happier if they can take notes. Why is learning style knowledge critical to a Christ Centered Reality Therapist and to the counseling client? All counselors would be wise to take the time to learn how their client learns and this will lead to expanding the client's ability to communicate. When a counselor, parent, teacher or preacher wishes to be a fluid communicator, it is necessary to be adaptable to the client's needs. Including knowledge of how the client learns new concepts best. Reinforcement of knowledge is based on one's ability to grasp new concepts and apply the concepts. The communicator can accomplish this by simply asking questions like, "Do you like to read? Do you like to take notes? Do you work with your hands?" A very straightforward diagnostic intake ofleaming styles at the initial on- set will clear up many miscommunications. I had one very famous athletic client who we would go fishing and spend hours counseling. He would have never been comfortable in an office setting. In fact, he would not even consider sitting in a room but fishing was an escape. This way he was just with a friend fishing, not in counseling. If their personal preference or learning style is to read, then the counselor has the op- portunity to suggest books, supply written homework and utilize the marker board in the office with illustrations to help the counseling client down the path of normalizing their reality. Also the use of the world wide web, but be mindful of the content suggested make sure you preview and or all suggestions written or otherwise. 199 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY A counselor should not only be a practicing counselor, but a brilliant communicator. Not just with their mouth, but multiple forms of communication. Knowledge of how any audience receives information is the best and will make any counselor an extraordinary communicator. This ability will also help improve communication between the auto me- chanic and his wife who works in sales. One is hands on and the other likes to talk. In part, the counselor's job is to teach communication skills. The Apostle Paul said it was his job to be all things to all people to help them under- stand a clear presentation of the gospel. Paul knew by natural intuition about the science of learning psychology. Another element which CCRT relies heavily upon is the understanding of the human experience of State Dependent Learning. State Dependent Learning is a term is used widely in drug and alcohol addiction. The term simply means each person will recall infor- mation best under the same conditions in which the information was received or learned. State dependent learning was first observed in alcoholics. If a drunk was given infor- mation while intoxicated, he would only recall a small part of the information when sober. The next time he was intoxicated, he could clearly recall the previous information learned while under the influence. The theory is simple. If an individual (student) is going to take a test in a quiet environ- ment, without food or drink and under bright lights, then this is how the student should study for the test. Because you will recall the study material best in the environment it was learned, you should consider the counseling client's state in receiving information in the counselor/client setting Conversely, if a student studies while watching super toads on TV, listening to rap on the radio, eating chocolate bars while washing them down with a Big Gulp and talking on the cell phone at the same time, all while studying for tomorrow's test, then the study material will be recalled best by the student in these environmental conditions. Obviously this is not the best study environment. The military has long since understood the concept of replicating battlefield condition- ing to prepare the military for the extreme environment. You can imagine if all a soldier 200  CHAPTER 13 CCRT ever did was read about the extreme conditions, then dropped into real combat with NO State Dependent Learning recall. Athletes call it muscle memory. The same reasons some smells make us gag or a sour lemon makes your mouth pucker before the taste. Environmental learning is critical to the human condition and recall. The old axiom in athletics, "you practice like you play and you play like you practice." A better concept is "perfect practice makes perfect play," then add, "every day, every play."You have a formula for success. "There is nothing new under the sun," wise old Solomon said. Only the clarity, ease, and realistic approach can be changed. An example is the computer. When I was first introduced to the computer in the 1980s, punch cards were still in use and the best you could hope for was a printout of Snoopy in zeros and ones. Punch Cards were fed into the machine to tell the computer the programming instructions or tasks. Today cell phones can do more than the mainframe computers of the 1980's. The question: did computers change? Answer: not really. Computers just got more usable. This is the idea of Christ Centered Reality Therapy. It can be summed up, "let's learn counsel- ing all over again." CCRT learning has two concrete rules. Rule one: what can be learned, can be un- learned but not forgotten. Rule 2: we each learn at different rates, frequencies, in different times and ways. If you know how a person learns, then it is possible to understand how and what they have learned or will learn. More importantly, it is possible to teach to their learning skill set. I have had numerous parents say, "The kids just don't listen to me. They just act like they never hear a word I say!"The children reply, "Their parents never listen to what they are trying to say." If you have a child who learns essentially by concrete visual messages then their premier learning will come from written instructions or demonstration. Don't just say make up your bed but show them how to make up their bed. Then no mater how badly it is made praise them for their effort. Real communication was achieved and positive action was demon- strated. If this is how a child learns then repeat the action with everything. 201 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY My oldest daughter when she was very young would be given a verbal list of chores to complete, she would get to the first one successfully and then try to remember the next items on the list and generally forget. She would announce she had completed all her as- signed task. Next conflict would rise due to her not completing all of the tasks which she was given verbally. The problem was not in her willingness; she was always a hard worker and extremely cooperative. She was a visual learner. So, with this realization, I would simply leave a very detailed and complete list of her chores and expectations. She took great pride in complet- ing the list and checking the items off as she completed the task on the list. The results were, her needs and personal satisfaction of completion was being met and the conflict was avoided. Understanding how a person learns can lead to great communi- cation. This leads to a better relationship and success in counseling. Utilizing Christ Centered Reality Therapy, you must ask a question. How do you know a counseling client is ready to be cured and when is the cure complete? How do you know when you are ready to take a test? The confidence of taking a test well prepared for and receiving an A+ for your hard work is extremely rewarding. A counseling client is ready for the cure when time, effort, motivation and resolve have been mixed well into their life. Our information system was created by intelligent design. It is a complex input and output system. Each and every one is taught to be an input machine from birth. It is how we learn to talk, walk, eat, sleep and discover each and everything we learn from the out- side world. If you have been in any part of the educational system in the United States or any- where in the world you burn up paper taking notes, reading, watching and listening to knowledge being poured into your brain by the system. Then your knowledge is tested and retested. All successful students know it is absolutely necessary to formalize the output to be successful. Input alone is null without a measurable output. This is why all my children who took spelling in elementary school were quizzed at home by mom and dad prior to the spelling test. The input for the spelling words and the output was the formal presentation of the verbal and written spelling words. This is 202  CHAPTER I 3 CCRT because the teacher expected the children to learn the subject, in this case spelling words by test day. Bad BEHAVIOR nullifies success and knowledge. Abnormal Behavior mini- mizes both input and output. THIS IS HOW WE KNOW When we are tested, we are output machines. We spend all of our time processing in- formation as the input machine and we never formally practice the output. The test scores are generally dismal. If a counseling client can formalize a new reality and thoroughly explain the action plan back to the counselor providing goals and timetables, then the counseling client re- ally has an absolute and congruent perspective of a new reality. Next the client then puts into practice the new knowledge (action) which results in them having been successful. Just agreeing with the counselor's explanation of their need for a new life is not action. This is like the alcoholic getting drunk, then saying sorry the next day, and going back to the bar. In conclusion, God has rules about relationships. A relationship is growing, flourish- ing, and getting more wonderful all the time or is dying. There is no neutral in God's uni- verse. The great matrix God created, called life, is ever changing and being reborn. Have you ever had a house plant, when it started dying you did everything you could to save it, but it died anyway? Relationships are either Christ centered, Bible-based, God driven, and continuously bringing glory to Christ or they're dying. If a relationship is dying, it can be revived by the grace of God and-God's marvelous, wonderful, working power. God is the great God of restoration. This is a watchword for Christian counselors who deal with counseling clients who emerged in abnormal reality. Jesus explains how we are to view abnormal reality and what steps we should instill to protect ourselves and others. Jesus knew we would have Wolf relationships (abnormal reality). In Matthew 10:16," Jesus said behold, I send you out a sheep in the midst of wolves; therefore, be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves."Jesus is telling us how to have relationships with wolves or those who have grounded their existence and life in abnormal reality. Jesus is clearly saying don't be stupid. 203 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY In fact, be on your toes with the wol£ He declares, we should be wise and not be ma- nipulated by the wolf or abnormal reality. Don't let the wolf get a foothold in your life. The way he keeps from Wolf relationships is to be wise, innocent, have personal expectations, and don't do the things wolves do! If you are not a professional wolf tamer you should not try to train the wol£ A lamb cannot go to the wolves' den and expect to be happy. The wolf will invite you into his den; in fact, they want you to stay for dinner. Do not be deceived. Jesus warns in Matthew 7:15," Beware of the false prophet who comes to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." Be ever vigilant of the silver tongue, manipulating wolves they will drag you into their abnormality. The wolf always has a story, and he always comes declaring the things you wish to hear. The wolf will even do some of the things you would like him to do but the abnormality has its own planned agenda. Abnormality which is alive and well will do whatever it takes to accomplish its purpose. The wolf will always expend vast amounts of resources, time, money and energy to convince you should trust him. How do you recognize abnormality, in this case a wolf? Some things regardless of how skilled and complete the abnormality, a wolf cannot hide. Look at the wolves' past school, personal life, relationships and business relationships. The wolf will be glad to tell you about his past conquest. In Matthew 7:17-18,Jesus gives an acid test for wolf detection, "Even so, every; but every bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit." Examine the fruits of the Wo1£ The wolf's fruits are acts, deeds, interests, friends, hobbies, phobias, and priorities. These are the things abnormal reality cannot hide. Jesus states in Matthew 6:21," Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." What the wolf values is what he really is. Do not get involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. As a Christian counselor you should always check your motivations and determine your priorities prior to initiating a long-term counseling client relationship. You can be the best counselors in the world in practice, Christ centered very fulfilling and meaningful care giving Ministry, and still screw up. Let's do a little math. Any positive number times a positive number will always equal a positive number. Positive number times a negative number will equal a negative number. 204  CHAPTER 13 CCRT A million positives times one negative still equals a negative number. Some absolute rules never change. Consider the caterpillar. This fuzzy-wuzzy worm crawls around and gorges itse1f on plants. You know the kind; they make a big green splat when you step on them. Do you know what happens when a caterpillar tries to mate? They just get ruffled fur and frustra- tion. No matter how hard a caterpillar tries to mate they just can't make little fuzzy worms. Then they grow and change, wrapping themselves in a warm blanket of a silk cocoon. Then the warm cocoon changes into a hard chrysalis shell. When the time is right, a beau- tiful butterfly struggles through the hard-shell. You cannot help the butterfly escape the hard-shell prison or it will never fly and will soon die. It is the struggle from the chrysalis's prison which makes the butterflies'wings strong and capable of flight. Butterflies have a reality is they can only find their mates when they can fly. Realities are easy to write about just like the rules are easy to read, but they are hard to remember and even harder to keep.Jesus Christ knew you and I would never be able to keep all the normal reality and the rules necessary. So,Jesus Christ through his love came and took our place on an old rugged Cross. No matter what we do, no matter how much we sin, no matter how great the abnormal reality in which we exist, there is still no sin or abnormal reality greater than the love of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. 205