Christ Centered Reality Therapy PDF

CHAPTER IO CCRT Diagnostic Rules and Intake Christ Centered Reality Therapy (CCRT): Diagnostic rules, guidelines, and intake are a problem-solving tool. Intake is the therapeutic underpinning/or the implementation of Christ Cen...

CHAPTER IO CCRT Diagnostic Rules and Intake Christ Centered Reality Therapy (CCRT): Diagnostic rules, guidelines, and intake are a problem-solving tool. Intake is the therapeutic underpinning/or the implementation of Christ Centered Reality Therapy. The previous chapters are dedicated to the therapeutic theory of CCRT. The balance of this book is practical application and technique. The CCRT discourse, dialogue, individ- ual behavioral redirection, and management for any practitioner and clients. The use of CCRT is designed for any and all individuals who counsel including, but not limited to, Chaplains, Pastors, Professional Counselors, Volunteers for groups or crisis centers. The applications are not limited to Christians but are most effective when the counselor is a Christian. It should be expressly understood the client does not have to be a Christian to receive treatment or guidance. CCRT is not a heavy-handed Psychoanalytic approach or a Behavioral Therapy. It has a core set of guidelines when followed and applied to give guidance to a client cure. The following is a paraphrased theory for techniques of a philosophical intake based on Understanding Reality 1berapy, A Metaphorical Approach, by Dr. Robert Wubbolding. 140  CHAPTER IO CCRT "We are all born with five human needs which we seek to fulfill by each and every human behavior." Number one- belongings: everyone seeks to be involved with others. Number two- power or achievement: people have an innate tendency to seek confidence, to have a sense of achievement or compliments to gain self-esteem and self-worth, and to be in charge of their own lives. Number three- fun our enjoyment: we all seek at least a sense of satisfaction and often enjoyment. Number four- freedom or independence: people seek to be able to run their own lives, to make choices and live unrestrictedly. Number five- survival: we all have a need to maintain life and to sustain health. These five needs are the source of motivation and have the following characteristics." (Wubbolding, 1985): Understanding Reality 1herapy states, "Our motivation is "bic et nunc" (here and now)." (Wubbolding, 1991) CCRT Reality Key: Number one through five are human needs and wants. They are not learned behavior. The needs and wants are universal to all human beings. Needs drive the wants, and the wants shape the needs. All individuals possess the same needs and wants. Geography, culture, and society shape and fulfi11 how the needs and wants will be met. CCRT- Christ Centered Reality Therapy treatment begins with rules for diagnostic intake. The intake is part of the process in developing guidelines for treatment. The for- mula for the intake process is much more than a client information gathering process. The intake process is the foundation and formulation for therapy implementation. The tech- niques do not exist apart from the formulation. The intake helps to develop an ongoing simplified practical application of treatment. The fundamental process is expressly guided by an absolute belief system in the holistic nature of the gospel ofJesus Christ. The first technique and guideline of CCRT begins with a quote, "No problem can be solved at the same level in which the problem was created." The concept is simple. No one can fight fire with fire. A spouse cannot yell loud enough to out yell their mate. No individual can hate enough to out hate the bitterness of someone else. Essentially, the ab- normal reality which has become the client's reality will not solve their problem. 141 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY The tongue-in-cheek definition ofinsanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Any practitioner asks the question, "How do you discrim- inate between abnormal reality and normalized reality?" Abnormal reality has 'tells', signs and symptoms which no client can hide. As a professional service provider, you do not have to know every deviant detail of an individual or family to recognize the existence of abnormality. Abnormal reality depresses, decays, and ultimately destroys individual's and family life events. Normalized reality is symbiotic. It works together for good and flourishes in love, not problem free, but in concert with normal life events. Abnormal reality is always opposed to positive change or compromise. Abnormal reality is like a pool of contaminated, stag- nant water not safe for consumption or even to touch. Consider a case study from my counseling files. This story is about a family having a real communication and behavioral problem with their junior high son. He refused to get up on time and get ready for school. The results to the family unit were devastating. Mom and dad were having to alternate taking the boy to school late because he would miss the bus due to his oversleeping. As a result of the parents alternating taking their son to school, they were alternately being yelled at by their bosses. I asked them how long being habitually late to work had been occurring? The mother hung her head and mumbled, "for over a year." I asked them to tell me more about their typical morning. Both of the parents became extremely uncomfortable with this question. I asked them to relax and just take their time and share with me what was happening in their home. Mom, by stating her overwhelming embarrassment, said, "They felt like they had been good parents and provided for all of their son's needs, but now they were failures." She really did not understand how they got to this point. She said she felt inadequate as a mother because she could not even control her own son. "He just will not listen." After a few moments of extreme anxiety, she calmed down, and they began to share their problem. 142  CHAPTER IO CCRT Dad took the floor first. He stated they start off by waking him up as nicely as possible, but the son refuses to budge. Then the morning routine begins to escalate. "Our son does not want to move until a full-blown screaming session." "Finally, he drags himself out of bed and locks himself in his bathroom. By now he's angry and we're angry and overcome with frustration." Mom interrupted at this point. "I don't know if I can take it anymore." "I go to work sick, and each evening I am coming home sick to my stomach. I can't sleep because I'm worried about the next morning and the argument I have to face with my son." "We can't even talk anymore," replied the father. The father stated ifhe was late one more time he was told, "Don't even bother coming to work." "We don't know what to do?"They stopped speaking and looked at me dejected and perplexed. I asked a very simple question, "Do you feel like what you are doing in the morning is working?" Frustrated and sarcastically the father replied, "No, not at all!" I knew in my heart what he really wanted to say: No, not at all stupid, why do you think we are in counseling. Then I overstated the obvious, "Well if what you are doing is not working, then would you be willing to try something else?" "Yes, anything!" they replied. ''Are you willing to try a new approach to the problem and the dialogue?" I asked. Simultaneously the parents answered, "yes." "Okay, you're willing to try anything?" By this point they were irritated with me and repeatedly said, "Yes, yes anything." Next, I instructed them to "go home tonight and have a real sit-down talk with your son for about 10 minutes without distractions." In 21st-century America, this means turning off the TV, cellphone, computer, and putting the dog outside etc. This is for both parents and the child. You can live without the cell phone for 10 minutes (I wanted to write "damn cell phone" but I did not.) Next, the instruction for the new plan of actions in writing is presented to the son in love. This new plan of action is to help the son to clearly understand the reality of his actions. "Read the plan out loud and share with him in clear terms, it is his responsibility to get himse!fto school on time. You will provide the tools for him to awake on time. Be expressly clear with him, you will wake him up once and only once. The one morning wake-up call 143 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY will be at the normal time which gives him plenty of time to make it to school on time; and after, he is on his own." The next instruction is imperative. "Stop by a department store on the way home and buy an alarm clock, in fact buy two alarm clocks. Buy the kind of alarm clocks which have great big bells and make really loud noises. Get the ones which tick and ring loudly. Place the alarm clocks in his room and set the first alarm for one minute after you wake him up. The time on the first alarm clock is set for the exact time you wish to wake him up. Set the second alarm clock for five minutes after you wake him up. Remove his cell phone from the room and do not give it back unless he complies." "This is critical: make sure you place both alarm clocks across the room, so he has to get out of bed to turn them off or break them, whichever comes first. You also need to remember to stop by the store again and buy two or three more alarm clocks because you know he is going to smash the first two." "Back to the next morning, get dressed, and say goodbye to your son. Both of you go to work and surprise the boss by being on time." It was at this point the mother broke in and said, "He will get in trouble at school!" I replied, "Yes, and so?" She began to mumble things like, "I don't know if we can leave him alone or trust him." It was at this point I interrupted and stated, "You mean you will not help your son? You do not trust yourself to do the right thing for your son?" I spoke very firmly to the lady and reminded her. she said, she would do anything to correct the problem. She began to badger back, "He would get in trouble at school!" I took back control of the conversation and said, "You mean he will actually be responsible for his own actions, and he will have to suffer the consequences? He might actually learn self-re- liance, and Mama and Papa will not always be there to bail him out of any situation." I shared a parable shared by Jesus Christ about the prodigal son. Reluctantly, mom and dad followed the plan. We wrote up a plan and they shared the new rules with their son in evening. The next morning, the good co-dependents hid their cars to watch the son walk to school much to their surprise. He was late for the first couple of days and yes, he did get in trouble receiving after school detention. After several alarm clocks and pleading 144  CHAPTER IO CCRT for the return of his cell phone he was able to catch the bus. The parents saved their jobs. The boy learned responsibility. Reality Key: The intake diagnostic guideline and tools of application techniques of CCRT are not given in a specific order. This is a great advantage to the counselor, unlike so many therapeutic modalities which have specific stages and sequences to follow. In CCRT, it is not necessary to utilize any stage or technique in any specific order. This ap- plies and agrees with the original idea of"bic et nunc' (here and now) (Dr. Wubbolding). In CCRT terms, when an individual is sick and goes to· the doctor, he does not want a lecture from their doctor about how he should not play golf in the rain. The question is what is the individual's goal at the doctor? All they really want is a diagnosis and a cure for their illness. When people finally and reluctantly go to counseling, they want answers and need solutions to their problems. Consider, no one wants to seek help and share their pain with a stranger. The individual is forced to seek counseling by the pain in their life and the lives of others. The pain has become so great they are willing to seek help. In the case study of the boy who would not wake up, there are overlapping conse- quences. The first guideline which applies best is abnormal reality may not be treated at the same level at which the problem (abnormal) reality occurs. Number two CCRT guideline: problems (abnormal reality and abnormal reality sys- tem) are not greater than authentic reality cure. These two guidelines mean the counselor might have to come at a problem sideways. No problem exists in a vacuum, problems are universal to the human condition. There is a girl in Russia who won't get up on time for work, or a boy in Columba who oversleeps, missing the 4:00 am milking time. The boy's parents' behavior was as much a part of the problem, not just the boy's behavior. It is critical to understand the intake redundancy is not a cure. These two above men- tioned reality keys will guide the counselor to the initial directive treatment plan. The par- ents were seeking concrete directive and constructive help with their son's problem. Their son's abnormal behavior needed intervention. 145 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY The guideline for the behavior intervention in CCRT Reality Key: The problem is exponential in nature (will always expand). If the problem is left to its own (the boy's behavior), the problem will not self-cure. The problem will grow and manifest into a variety of symptoms. The problem is clearly identifiable and takes on mass, form, and it affects self and others in an abnormal reality. What the parents were doing was not working. They needed a new plan. The parents' plan was a plan for failure. The child was NOT the problem but part of the problem. The parents' fear had placed the son in charge of the family rules. The parents' redundancy or planned failure was an abnormal reality. Their problem needed a powerful new solution to cancel out the abnormality system which they enabled in the family life events. 'Ihe counseling keys needed to change plannedfailure into success arefound in positive redun- dancy and resolve. Reality Key: Positive resolve is to permanency as normal reality is to a cure. It is neces- sary to understand positive redundancy can and will produce permanency and normalized reality. Positive redundancy is always planned success. The simple concept is to keep doing the right thing until it works. The plan is, "Don't give up, keep working consistently with the plan''. Reality Key: Negative redundancy is to failure as abnormal reality is to destruction. Redundancy and resolve are always demonstrated with actions in a personal plan of suc- cess or failure. The next vital key to implementing planned success is resolve. Resolve is different from redundancy. 146  CHAPTER IO CCRT CCRT Reality Key: Resolve means each individual works the plan at all costs, no matter the level of resistance. Positive redundancy, which is change, is always resisted by abnormal reality. Positive resolve promotes change. The combination of redundancy and resolve will ultimately cure abnormal reality. Abnormal reality will.fight against any and all positive change. One example of negative redundancy is the drunk who comes in and passes out after vomiting havoc into his family and home. Then he apologizes morning after morning, year after year, believing his apologies are a cure for the pain he has inflicted. The abnormality is the alcoholism; the cure is normalized reality. This means alcohol- ism must be met with outside resources, resolve, and inside discipline to affect a perma- nent cure. Not drinking is a starting place not a cure. A sober drunk is still a drunk. The drunk, now dry, still maintains the abnormal behaviors and toxic ideas of a drunk. The abnormal reality cannot be met at the same level at which the abnormality occurs. For example, if yelling at the kids would make them perfect, then all parents would have perfect kids. Ask yourself, "What is the purpose in training children or any member of the family?" Is it for the parent's sake or the children's need? Abnormality is always an act of selfishness. Normal reality is loving and caring for yourself and others. Children develop from birth behavioral ruts, (redundancy). Individuals and parents get in ruts (redundancy), and all relationships get into ruts (redundancy). Redundancy, which is abnormal, will become permanent and a very destructive system in all life events. The child who gets their way by throwing a tantrum will keep the behavior into adulthood. After all, if a tantrum works, why not keep doing what works? Each and every person needs help from time to time getting out of the ruts oflife. The deeper the rut, the harder it is to pull out of the rut. If a man is drowning in quicksand, you do not jump in the quicksand to save him! You would toss him a rope and pull him to safety.Joining death does not produce life. 147 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 2 I ST CENTURY CCRT Reality Key: Planning success and then helping people work the plan. "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (Alcoholics Anonymous) Just because it is hard to pull somebody out of quicksand does not mean it is not im- possible. There will always be resistance, do not give up (resolution). The client is stuck in the muck and may not budge at first, but the longer and harder you pull the closer they are to salvation or a cure (permanency). Eventually, if you hang on and they hang on to the lifeline, then both will be free. The client is free to a new life, and the counselor is free to help again. Then and only then when they get out of the quicksand, the client must clean up. Do Not try to clean them up while they are still in the mud. No one can take a bath for the client. The individual client can always clean themselves far better than the caregiver. Permanency (or a cure) is achieved by a client practicing planned successes daily with resolve. In rehabilitation of old buildings, it always starts with an assessment. Next the demoli- tion process begins, and it is a process. It takes time to clear away the rubble and wreckage. The old buildings will eventually be replaced by new ones. The new structures will take time to complete. Businesses who are under construction put signs up (Please Pardon Our Progress) for renovation and upgrade of this building. It would be a lot easier for people if they could wear a bright neon sign while undergoing change. God created a universe of absolutes. The more mankind discovers through science exploration, the more mankind understands God's absolutes. Sir Isaac Newton was bless- ed with the privilege of explaining some of God's natural laws and absolutes. Consider Newton's motion laws. One states, "Everybody continues in its state of rest or uniformed motion in a straight line except in so far as it may be compelled to change the state by action of some outside force." 148  CHAPTER IO CCRT Applying God's natural laws and absolutes to Christ Centered Reality Therapy should be understood in a metaphorical sense. In user friendly terms, a natural state of motion is at a constant velocity. If the constant velocity is doing nothing or equal to zero, we say the body is at rest. The earth's forces are.constantly in motion, so the only place to truly experience a constant state of velocity is in outer space where absolute zero gravity and absolute zero force can exist. The application oflaw one to CCRT works well. First each human remains in a state of rest until force is applied. Secondly, once a human is set in motion, he will stay in mo- tion until he encounters friction. Thirdly, the human will stay on course until individual change occurs. The individual will always choose the direction ofleast resistance or ofleast opposition to the greatest force. Finally, the force of change in action which compels an individual change comes from outside forces. Restating the law in human terms helps grasp a clearer understanding of abnormal reality. This is always experiential in nature. Reality Key: Abnormal reality left unchanged will not self-cure. Abnormal reali- ty will grow and manifest into a variety of symptoms. The abnormal reality problem is clearly identifiable in the individual. Abnormal reality takes on mass and form thus real and experienced. Force is equally capable of producing motion or a change in motion. An absolute fact is it takes a real environmental force to change or create motion in all life events. Environmental changes are affected by things like church, the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, finances, sexual experiences, and individual relationships. The list of potential change is endless and will occur regardless of individual desire for change or not. CCRT Reality Key: CCRT can project the future by the examination, inspection, and assessment of what forces are driving an individual's past and current life events. This is 149 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY determined by a time tracker (intake). Life events in the time tracker will demonstrate how much personal production, resources, and action are devoted to a specific life event. If an individual spends most of his time and all the money in a bar drinking, then this is the real-life event force. The projection of the outcome of their life may be projected in possible outcomes. Abnormal reality is both quantifiable and quantitative. Two of the tools used to mea- sure are statistical analysis and a sociogram. Abnormal reality depresses, decays, and ul- timately destroys. This fact always creates statistical anomalies. Just as normal is both quantifiable and quantitative as it produces positive, healthy and growing relationships. For example, there is abundant statistical analysis for those who die while drinking and driving. The impact on automobile insurance costs due to the incidents of drinking al- cohol and driving are the costs of prosecution and incarceration of individuals who drink alcohol and drive automobiles. The problem is easily tracked statistically. For the drunk, drinking and driving is a normal activity, but in reality, it is abnormal reality. The "crazy" is to convince oneself they can safely drive drunk. It is irrational! Truly in this area of their life they are out of control or crazy. In clinical terms, the drunk's actions determine their diagnosis. While Alcoholism remains a socially acceptable abnormality, it is punished by society for the living abnormality. This is evidenced by statistics. CCRT Reality Key: What was once abnormal has become socially acceptable but is still abnormal. The legal status of an abnormal behavior does not make it NOT abnormal. A man claiming to be a woman is not normal and will never be normal regardless of the world view. Abortion is a legalized abnormality but this does not make it morally right, only legal. This is quantitative by statistical anomalies and analysis of the aftereffects of abortion on individuals and society. 150  CHAPTER IO CCRT One example is the rate of teenage pregnancies, and how twenty-first century society deals with teenage pregnancies in a socially accepted manner. In other words, it is no longer a surprise for young teenage girls between 12 and 19 to become pregnant. The ex- pectation is a certain percentage of teenagers will become pregnant. Thus, teen pregnancy is now socially acceptable. Schools must budget teen pregnancy programs. Forces in abnormal and normalized reality occur both externally and internally. These forces occur in our personal lives and simultaneously create friction. The extra: internal forces, pressures, feelings, and time should be equal. Abnormality is the person who is out of balance. When an individual or family is out of balance, it is always detrimental to mental, physical and spiritual reality. Consider a 13-year-old who is pregnant and the impact on her family. CCRT Reality Key: Abnormal reality always creates out-of-balance lives and unnat- ural forces. The absolute fact is 'force always creates motion'. Examine closely the long and short-term direction of an individual life and how it is being driven. Driven is a good word to use due to the fact force is always felt and can be observed. Impact of positive or negative force is both quantifiable and quantitative. Consider the man who is fired from his job and the force felt individually and by the family. Now consider the man who gets the highest paying job of his life and the force felt in the family unit. Addiction for example is a driving force experienced both internally and externally. Addiction is perceived as both a need and want. The guideline in CCRT is the counseling client's problem (abnormal reality) really does exist. It is real, both mentally and physically affecting the individual. In the children's movie Dr. Doolittle, he's a veterinarian who could talk to the animals. One of the marvelous animals he treated was a two headed llama named Push-Me-Pull- You. The abnormal reality takes shape and form in the personal life of the counseling client. The abnormal reality becomes like a two headed llama with no direction and relentlessly 151 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY overwhelmed internally and externally, pushing and fighting with normality. The pull of abnormality and the need for normalcy. The conflict is a powerful force. The abnormal reality is an internal driving force. The needs and the wants overlap, "I need to drink, and I want to drink." CCRT Reality Key: The effective cure is the want to stop drinking has to become greater than the perceived need to drink. Simultaneously, the need to stop drinking must become greater than the want to drink. Paul is writing to the Romans, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing." This is a simplistic definition of Newton's second and third law of motion. Law two states, "Change of motion is proportional to the force applied and takes place in the direc- tion of the line of action of the force." Law three states, "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction." Remember these laws are God's absolutes, not man's invented theories. These laws of motion would and did exist, with or without human understanding. Individuals still live in and experience God's laws regardless of their abilities to do the math and physics required to work out the formulas. The concept parallels the understanding, God's existence does not require individual belie£ God is God whether mankind believes or not. Consider an ocean liner: its rudder changes direction, but it will travel 1 or 2 miles before it actually changes course. The amount of force, the weight, and the mass of the object (abnormal reality) must be pro- portional to the effect of the change in direction. It takes more force to throw a cannon- ball than a baseball. The knowledge and understanding of what the real force is in life is individually liberating. Once a client has a full grasp of what force is necessary to change, then the goal and direction for the new course can be successfully charted. To experience and grasp what it requires to change direction, the individual must fully understand the force. Individual lives continue to age, mature, and change. Each is a force in and of itself Each of the natural forces is in a state of continuous motion. The changes which occur in individual lives take place in the direction of the line of action from the 152  CHAPTER IO CCRT largest force. If abnormal reality is the largest force, then an individual will be propelled by the abnormal force. Positive change can only occur when an equal and opposite force changes the direction. 153 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY CHAPTER I 0 CCRT Study Guide Questions 1. CCRT Reality Key: Number one through five, are human needs and wants. They are not learned behavior. The needs and wants are universal to all human beings. 2. Qyestion what does "bic et nunc" mean, and how does it apply to CCRT? Who wrote this statement? 3. CCRT: The first technique or the first guideline of CCRT begins with a quote at- tributed to Albert Einstein and many others. Qyestion: What is the quote, and how does it apply to therapy and CCRT as a counseling concept? 4. CCRT: In the case study of the boy who would not go to school. There are overlap- ping consequences. Qyestion: What would some of the predictable consequences be if the behavior had not been arrested (what would the boy's future be like without the intervention)? Use your own conjecture and opinions to form some possible future life outcomes for the boy and the parents. Write at least 3 short possible outcomes. 5. Positive redundancy, which is change, is always resisted by abnormal reality. Positive resolve promotes change. The combination of redundancy and resolve will/can ulti- mately cure abnormal reality. Qyestion: 1st Write one thing you could do over the next 7 days to lose weight or be healthier. 2nd How many obstacles to this change are abnormal and resistant to life change? 3rd How much (force) positive resolve and re- dundancy will you have to have to use to lose weight or be healthier? What one thing can you do today to change? 6. CCRT can project the future by the examination, inspection, and assessment of what forces are driving an individual's life events. This is determined by a time tracker. Life events in the time tracker will demonstrate how much personal production, resources, and action are devoted to a specific life event. 154