Psychosocial Development PDF

Psychosocial Development As just described, the bodies and minds of young adults grow as they always have, responding to genes and instincts the evolved long ago. What has changed is the manifestation of those long-standing characteristics, with fewer babies and more education. However, for the fina...

Psychosocial Development As just described, the bodies and minds of young adults grow as they always have, responding to genes and instincts the evolved long ago. What has changed is the manifestation of those long-standing characteristics, with fewer babies and more education. However, for the final topic of this chapter, psychosocial development, much more dramatic change has occurred. Because of context and culture, contemporary emerging adults are not like those of 50 years ago. This is evident in identity and intimacy (Erikson’s fifth and sixth stages), two foundational psychosocial needs. (See Table 11.2.) TABLE 11.2 Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development Stage Virtue/Pathology Possible in Emerging Adulthood If Not Successfully Resolved Trust vs. mistrust Hope/withdrawal Suspicious of others, making close relationships difficult Autonomy vs. shame and doubt Will/compulsion Obsessively driven, single-minded, not socially responsive Initiative vs. guilt Purpose/inhibition Fearful, regretful (e.g., very homesick in college) Industry vs. inferiority Competence/inertia Self-critical of any endeavor, procrastinating, perfectionistic Identity vs. role diffusion Fidelity/repudiation Uncertain and negative about values, lifestyle, friendships Intimacy vs. isolation Love/exclusivity Anxious about close relationships, jealous, lonely Generativity vs. stagnation Care/rejection [In the future] Fear of failure Integrity vs. despair Wisdom/disdain [In the future] No “mindfulness,” no life plan Information based on Erikson, 1982/1998. Grown Up Now? In Korean tradition, age 19 signifies adulthood, when people can drink alcohol and, in modern times, vote. In 2011, administrators invited 100 19-year-olds to a public Coming of Age ceremony, shown here, continuing a tradition that began centuries before. Emerging adults are torn between old and new. For example, in many nations, coming of age ceremonies are exclusive to one gender, but here young men and women participate. Identity Achievement Fifty years ago, identity was established by age 18, when older adolescents began their work and started their own families. Their work and chosen family sustained them, emotionally and financially, all their lives. Now identity is rarely fully achieved by age 18. A new response (moratorium) and a new type of identity (vocational) are evident after adolescence. Emerging adulthood has become “the period of life that offers the most opportunities for identity exploration” (Luyckx et al., 2013, p. 703). MORATORIUM Beyond the foreclosure or confusion that is typical in early adolescence, a moratorium is a common way that emerging adults continue their identity quest. A moratorium is a programmed pause, a way to postpone identity achievement by doing something else. Emerging adults may: take a gap year before college; attend college without a specific career goal; have an intimate sexual relationship without plans for marriage; enlist in the military for two years; take a job known to be temporary; volunteer for a year of mission work or social justice advocacy; intern in a nonprofit for little pay; and/or travel around the world. All these moratoria are socially acceptable ways to postpone commitment, avoiding a definitive answer to the burning question “Who are you?” Many emerging adults seek more education. That itself may become a moratorium. It is not unusual for students to change majors, colleges, and career goals several times before age 25 (Astorne-Figari & Speer, 2019). VOCATIONAL IDENTITY For current youth, vocational identity signifies far more than getting a paycheck. Career choices faced by individuals inevitably raise the question of the meaning that they intend to give their lives. To choose their work or sector in which they want to evolve is also to consider the purpose of their existence, the priorities (physical, spiritual, social, aesthetic, etc.) that they want to give, the choices that they wish to operate, the overall style of life that they wish to give themselves. [Bernaud, 2014, p. 36] Many emerging adults consult career counselors, who help them explore options, predict future openings, and figure out how their choices affect their “overall style of life.” One career that might be considered, especially for students of human development, is career counseling itself (see Career Alert). Career Alert The Career Counselor The employment outlook for vocational counselors is good: More jobs are expected in the future, and the median pay is $56,000 and rising. Generally, a strong background in psychology and graduate work that includes economics, testing, and statistics are needed. Career counselors often work in colleges or private practice. Astute career counselors discern answers to three questions before they advise someone. What does the client enjoy? Both genes and culture are relevant. A classic way to explore possibilities is through Holland’s six-factor assessment of personality patterns and vocations (see Figure 11.7). Some people like to work with their hands; some hate it. Some like open-ended, creative work; some prefer structure; and so on. What does the client value? Some people want to enjoy their work; others want to help humankind; some want independence; others want to be part of a large organization. Salary and medical benefits are crucial for some, not for others. Again, various measures have been developed to help a person discover their values and interests (Sheldon et al., 2020). What skills and aptitudes does a person have. This is far beyond IQ: Multiple intelligences need to be considered (see Chapter 7). FIGURE 11.7 Happy at Work John Holland’s six-part diagram helps job seekers realize that income and benefits are not the only goals of employment. Workers have healthier hearts and minds if their job fits their personal preferences. Added to knowing the job-seeker well, career counselors need to anticipate the job market. Dramatic shifts occur. The historic example is agriculture. Once, 90 percent of U.S. workers were farmers; now less than 1 percent are. Current examples are in health (geriatricians are needed, not pediatricians) and in education (fewer first-grade teachers, but more bilingual, reading, and disability specialists). Market projections vary not only by industry and occupation but also by location. Career counselors might suggest moving to another community, or might point out the psychic as well as economic costs of commuting. Did you know that North Dakota is experiencing a job boom, or that traveling to and from work is highly stressful for many adults? (Chatterjee et al., 2020) Career counselors must combine their knowledge of all the systems (micro-, macro-, and exo-, as explained in Chapter 1) with insight into the personality and circumstances of each client. That can lead toward a job that never would have been found without help. That happened for my daughter, a newspaper reporter, a career she chose when every community had several local papers. The economy shifted: Her paper joined a conglomerate and began firing reporters. She consulted a career coach so she would not be paralyzed if she was let go. The counselor gave four unexpected suggestions: Quit before she lost her job, recognize interests and skills she did not know she had, think about relocating, and find jobs that were not yet posted. My daughter discovered two openings far from home. Her counselor helped her apply for both, with a resume, references, and follow-up calls. A newspaper in a smaller, distant city needed a managing editor (not a reporter) and asked my daughter to come for an interview. She almost said no. She told me that to travel many hours for the interview would waste her time, because she probably wouldn’t be chosen. And if she were chosen, it would be unfair to the employer, because she would say no; she didn’t want to move. Again, the counselor gave advice. She told my daughter that her task was to apply, not to anticipate. An interview would be good practice. Accordingly, she met with editors and writers; she liked them. She was offered the job, and she took it. Now she loves it. What would have happened if she had not asked for help? The recent pandemic complicated the search for vocational identity, requiring a longer period of exploration. One study found that 40 percent of all college students experienced loss of an internship, job opportunity, or employment because of the virus (Aucejo et al., 2020). Even before COVID-19, finding one’s niche in the world of work often took years. The average U.S. young adult had seven distinct jobs between age 18 and 25, with the college-educated starting and quitting employment even more than the high school graduate (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, August, 2018). What a contrast to 50 years ago, when many young men followed in their father’s footsteps or got jobs at the local factory, while many young women became housewives, helpmates, and mothers. Now young adults may be “sagely avoiding foreclosure and premature commitment in a treacherous job market” (Konstam, 2015, p. 95). OTHER IDENTITIES As you remember, gender, religious, ethnic, and political identities all develop in adolescence. Further development occurs in emerging adulthood. People express their sexual orientation; people choose their own faith; people delve deep into their ethnic heritage, which allows them to gain respect for others. Who Are You? Many emerging adults refuse to identify as a single ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity. That may be why Halsey, a proudly bisexual singer–songwriter of Irish, Italian, Hungarian, and African American heritage, is a superstar for many of her generation. Among her many record-breaking accomplishments, her album Badlands sold 115,000 copies in the first week after its release. She was born in 1994; here she is 24. Political identity is particularly likely to change. As teenagers, Donald Trump was a Democrat and Hillary Clinton was a Republican. Fifty years ago, emerging adults kept the political identity they had in adolescence, which was the same as their parents, their classmates, their church. In the 2000 presidential contest, only 2 percent of younger voters made a choice that differed from their elders. In 2008, for the first time in U.S. history, millions of emerging adults elected a candidate (Barack Obama) whom their grandparents did not support. That age divide continues: In 2020, exit polls found a 16-percent age gap: Only one-third (35 percent) of 18- to 29-year-olds voted for Trump/Pence, as did half (51 percent) of voters over age 65. There are many reasons for this shift, but one is the increased acceptance of diversity. Many younger voters considered Kamala Harris, a woman who identifies as both Black and Asian American, a welcome break from tradition. In the United States, almost three-fourths of people under age 30 believe that more diversity is needed in every sphere, compared to only about half of those over age 50 (Poushter et al., 2019). DATA CONNECTIONS: Religious Identity: Young Adults Versus Older Cohorts explores the religious behaviors and beliefs of U.S. adults. Intimacy In Erikson’s theory, after achieving identity, people experience the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. He explains: The young adult, emerging from the search for and the insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with others. He is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit himself to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they call for significant sacrifices and compromises. [Erikson, 1993a, p. 263] Other theorists have different words for the same human need: affiliation, affection, interdependence, communion, belonging, love. But all developmentalists agree that social connections are pivotal lifelong (Padilla-Walker et al., 2017). Each relationship demands vulnerability and compromise, shattering the isolation caused by too much self-protection. The social context may be particularly influential when contemporary young adults seek intimacy. Emerging adulthood is called the “frontier” of efforts to prevent emotional problems and foster growth (Schwartz & Petrova, 2019). Young adults strengthen social connections with family and friends in ways unlike in the past. The recent pandemic complicated the search for vocational identity, requiring a longer period of exploration. One study found that 40 percent of all college students experienced loss of an internship, job opportunity, or employment because of the virus (Aucejo et al., 2020). Even before COVID-19, finding one’s niche in the world of work often took years. The average U.S. young adult had seven distinct jobs between age 18 and 25, with the college-educated starting and quitting employment even more than the high school graduate (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, August, 2018). What a contrast to 50 years ago, when many young men followed in their father’s footsteps or got jobs at the local factory, while many young women became housewives, helpmates, and mothers. Now young adults may be “sagely avoiding foreclosure and premature commitment in a treacherous job market” (Konstam, 2015, p. 95). OTHER IDENTITIES As you remember, gender, religious, ethnic, and political identities all develop in adolescence. Further development occurs in emerging adulthood. People express their sexual orientation; people choose their own faith; people delve deep into their ethnic heritage, which allows them to gain respect for others. Who Are You? Many emerging adults refuse to identify as a single ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity. That may be why Halsey, a proudly bisexual singer–songwriter of Irish, Italian, Hungarian, and African American heritage, is a superstar for many of her generation. Among her many record-breaking accomplishments, her album Badlands sold 115,000 copies in the first week after its release. She was born in 1994; here she is 24. Political identity is particularly likely to change. As teenagers, Donald Trump was a Democrat and Hillary Clinton was a Republican. Fifty years ago, emerging adults kept the political identity they had in adolescence, which was the same as their parents, their classmates, their church. In the 2000 presidential contest, only 2 percent of younger voters made a choice that differed from their elders. In 2008, for the first time in U.S. history, millions of emerging adults elected a candidate (Barack Obama) whom their grandparents did not support. That age divide continues: In 2020, exit polls found a 16-percent age gap: Only one-third (35 percent) of 18- to 29-year-olds voted for Trump/Pence, as did half (51 percent) of voters over age 65. There are many reasons for this shift, but one is the increased acceptance of diversity. Many younger voters considered Kamala Harris, a woman who identifies as both Black and Asian American, a welcome break from tradition. In the United States, almost three-fourths of people under age 30 believe that more diversity is needed in every sphere, compared to only about half of those over age 50 (Poushter et al., 2019). DATA CONNECTIONS: Religious Identity: Young Adults Versus Older Cohorts explores the religious behaviors and beliefs of U.S. adults. Intimacy In Erikson’s theory, after achieving identity, people experience the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. He explains: The young adult, emerging from the search for and the insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with others. He is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit himself to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they call for significant sacrifices and compromises. [Erikson, 1993a, p. 263] Other theorists have different words for the same human need: affiliation, affection, interdependence, communion, belonging, love. But all developmentalists agree that social connections are pivotal lifelong (Padilla-Walker et al., 2017). Each relationship demands vulnerability and compromise, shattering the isolation caused by too much self-protection. The social context may be particularly influential when contemporary young adults seek intimacy. Emerging adulthood is called the “frontier” of efforts to prevent emotional problems and foster growth (Schwartz & Petrova, 2019). Young adults strengthen social connections with family and friends in ways unlike in the past. Being Intimate The word intimacy was traditionally a euphemism for sexual intercourse, but to developmentalists it is much more than that. Look closely at these two couples, one in Spain (left) and one in Malaysia (right). Whether or not they are having sex does not matter: They are intimate in their touching, emotions, and even clothing. ROMANTIC PARTNERS Romance is part of life for many young adults, but, as already pointed out, for contemporary young people, marriage is not. The U.S. Census reports that less than 5 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds are married. Many have had steady partners, sometimes breaking up with them after months or years, sometimes marrying eventually (Sassler & Lichter, 2020). Postponement of marriage does not trouble developmentalists as much as another emerging adult trend, fewer romances. To understand this, it helps to understand the components of romantic love. In a classic analysis, Robert Sternberg (1988) described passion, intimacy, and commitment. The presence or absence of these three gives rise to seven different forms of love (see Table 11.3). TABLE 11.3 Sternberg’s Seven Forms of Love Present in the Relationship? Form of Love Passion Intimacy Commitment Liking No Yes No Infatuation Yes No No Empty love No No Yes Romantic love Yes Yes No Fatuous love Yes No Yes Companionate love No Yes Yes Consummate love Yes Yes Yes Information from Sternberg, 1988. Early in a relationship, passion is evident in falling in love, an intense physical, cognitive, and emotional onslaught characterized by excitement, ecstasy, and euphoria. The entire body and mind, hormones and neurons, are activated; the person is obsessed (Sanz Cruces et al., 2015). Intimacy is knowing someone well, sharing secrets as well as sex. This aspect of a romance is reciprocal, with each partner gradually revealing more as well as accepting more of the other’s revelations. The moonstruck joy of passionate love can become bittersweet as intimacy increases. As one observer explains, “Falling in love is absolutely no way of getting to know someone” (Sullivan, 1999, p. 225). The research is not clear about the best schedule for passion and intimacy, whether they should progress slowly or quickly, for instance. According to some research, they are not always connected, as lust arises from a different part of the brain than affection (Langeslag et al., 2013; Fisher, 2016a). For those who follow the current Western pattern of love and marriage, commitment is the least common in early adulthood, as it takes time and effort. It grows through decisions to be together, mutual caregiving, shared possessions, and forgiveness (Schoebi et al., 2012). Social forces strengthen or undermine commitment; that’s why in-laws are often the topic of jokes and arguments, and why a spouse might be unhappy with their mate’s close friends. Commitment is powerfully influenced by culture. When cultures endorse arranged marriages, commitment occurs early on, before passion or intimacy. A study of husbands and wives in arranged marriages reports that the commitment by both partners to make the marriage work led to love, not vice versa. One husband said: Perhaps I could say that love involves commitment or [that] marriage is a commitment to love. From the beginning I was committed to love [my wife]. Sometimes I have been challenged to keep the commitment or just challenged to love her, but I do my best to be a loving husband. Loving her is usually easy but sometimes not. [quoted in Epstein et al., 2013, pp. 352–353] That husband was of Indian heritage, where arranged marriages are still common. However, especially among middle class emerging adults in southern India, arranged marriages are becoming scarcer. Young adults seek their own life partners (Banerji & Deshpande, 2020; Bhandari, 2020). Indian parents still want their children to marry within their caste, yet children are much less troubled by intercaste marriage than adults are. The same phenomenon is evident in the United States, with emerging adults more likely to choose partners of other ethnic and religious background than their parents’ generation did. As you remember, gender, religious, ethnic, and political identities all develop in adolescence. Further development occurs in emerging adulthood. People express their sexual orientation; people choose their own faith; people delve deep into their ethnic heritage, which allows them to gain respect for others. Who Are You? Many emerging adults refuse to identify as a single ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity. That may be why Halsey, a proudly bisexual singer–songwriter of Irish, Italian, Hungarian, and African American heritage, is a superstar for many of her generation. Among her many record-breaking accomplishments, her album Badlands sold 115,000 copies in the first week after its release. She was born in 1994; here she is 24. Political identity is particularly likely to change. As teenagers, Donald Trump was a Democrat and Hillary Clinton was a Republican. Fifty years ago, emerging adults kept the political identity they had in adolescence, which was the same as their parents, their classmates, their church. In the 2000 presidential contest, only 2 percent of younger voters made a choice that differed from their elders. In 2008, for the first time in U.S. history, millions of emerging adults elected a candidate (Barack Obama) whom their grandparents did not support. That age divide continues: In 2020, exit polls found a 16-percent age gap: Only one-third (35 percent) of 18- to 29-year-olds voted for Trump/Pence, as did half (51 percent) of voters over age 65. There are many reasons for this shift, but one is the increased acceptance of diversity. Many younger voters considered Kamala Harris, a woman who identifies as both Black and Asian American, a welcome break from tradition. In the United States, almost three-fourths of people under age 30 believe that more diversity is needed in every sphere, compared to only about half of those over age 50 (Poushter et al., 2019). DATA CONNECTIONS: Religious Identity: Young Adults Versus Older Cohorts explores the religious behaviors and beliefs of U.S. adults. Intimacy In Erikson’s theory, after achieving identity, people experience the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. He explains: The young adult, emerging from the search for and the insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with others. He is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit himself to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they call for significant sacrifices and compromises. [Erikson, 1993a, p. 263] Other theorists have different words for the same human need: affiliation, affection, interdependence, communion, belonging, love. But all developmentalists agree that social connections are pivotal lifelong (Padilla-Walker et al., 2017). Each relationship demands vulnerability and compromise, shattering the isolation caused by too much self-protection. The social context may be particularly influential when contemporary young adults seek intimacy. Emerging adulthood is called the “frontier” of efforts to prevent emotional problems and foster growth (Schwartz & Petrova, 2019). Young adults strengthen social connections with family and friends in ways unlike in the past. Being Intimate The word intimacy was traditionally a euphemism for sexual intercourse, but to developmentalists it is much more than that. Look closely at these two couples, one in Spain (left) and one in Malaysia (right). Whether or not they are having sex does not matter: They are intimate in their touching, emotions, and even clothing. ROMANTIC PARTNERS Romance is part of life for many young adults, but, as already pointed out, for contemporary young people, marriage is not. The U.S. Census reports that less than 5 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds are married. Many have had steady partners, sometimes breaking up with them after months or years, sometimes marrying eventually (Sassler & Lichter, 2020). Postponement of marriage does not trouble developmentalists as much as another emerging adult trend, fewer romances. To understand this, it helps to understand the components of romantic love. In a classic analysis, Robert Sternberg (1988) described passion, intimacy, and commitment. The presence or absence of these three gives rise to seven different forms of love (see Table 11.3). TABLE 11.3 Sternberg’s Seven Forms of Love Present in the Relationship? Form of Love Passion Intimacy Commitment Liking No Yes No Infatuation Yes No No Empty love No No Yes Romantic love Yes Yes No Fatuous love Yes No Yes Companionate love No Yes Yes Consummate love Yes Yes Yes Information from Sternberg, 1988. Early in a relationship, passion is evident in falling in love, an intense physical, cognitive, and emotional onslaught characterized by excitement, ecstasy, and euphoria. The entire body and mind, hormones and neurons, are activated; the person is obsessed (Sanz Cruces et al., 2015). Intimacy is knowing someone well, sharing secrets as well as sex. This aspect of a romance is reciprocal, with each partner gradually revealing more as well as accepting more of the other’s revelations. The moonstruck joy of passionate love can become bittersweet as intimacy increases. As one observer explains, “Falling in love is absolutely no way of getting to know someone” (Sullivan, 1999, p. 225). The research is not clear about the best schedule for passion and intimacy, whether they should progress slowly or quickly, for instance. According to some research, they are not always connected, as lust arises from a different part of the brain than affection (Langeslag et al., 2013; Fisher, 2016a). For those who follow the current Western pattern of love and marriage, commitment is the least common in early adulthood, as it takes time and effort. It grows through decisions to be together, mutual caregiving, shared possessions, and forgiveness (Schoebi et al., 2012). Social forces strengthen or undermine commitment; that’s why in-laws are often the topic of jokes and arguments, and why a spouse might be unhappy with their mate’s close friends. Commitment is powerfully influenced by culture. When cultures endorse arranged marriages, commitment occurs early on, before passion or intimacy. A study of husbands and wives in arranged marriages reports that the commitment by both partners to make the marriage work led to love, not vice versa. One husband said: Perhaps I could say that love involves commitment or [that] marriage is a commitment to love. From the beginning I was committed to love [my wife]. Sometimes I have been challenged to keep the commitment or just challenged to love her, but I do my best to be a loving husband. Loving her is usually easy but sometimes not. [quoted in Epstein et al., 2013, pp. 352–353] That husband was of Indian heritage, where arranged marriages are still common. However, especially among middle class emerging adults in southern India, arranged marriages are becoming scarcer. Young adults seek their own life partners (Banerji & Deshpande, 2020; Bhandari, 2020). Indian parents still want their children to marry within their caste, yet children are much less troubled by intercaste marriage than adults are. The same phenomenon is evident in the United States, with emerging adults more likely to choose partners of other ethnic and religious background than their parents’ generation did. FINDING EACH OTHER AND LIVING TOGETHER For many young adults, not only in the United States but worldwide, parents no longer are the main matchmakers. Young adults meet each other at colleges, workplaces, or on matchmaking websites that provide dozens of potential partners to meet and evaluate. Often physical attraction is the gateway to a relationship, but intimacy and then commitment require much more. The large number of possible partners whom young adults find — the thousands of fellow students at most colleges or the hundreds of suggestions that matchmaking sites provide — causes a potential problem, choice overload, when too many options are available. Choice overload makes some people unable to choose, and it increases second thoughts after a selection is made (Chernev et al., 2015). Choice overload has been proven with many consumer goods (jams, chocolates, pens, restaurants), but it applies to mate selection as well. Having many complex options that require weighing present and future advantages and disadvantages (trade-offs are inevitable in partner selection) may be overwhelming and lead to poor decisions (Lee & Chiou, 2016). One solution provided by some internet dating sites is to allow the program to do the filtering, selecting possible mates based on mutual interests and background. The fact that marriage is often postponed, and that sex sometimes occurs without commitment, does not mean that emerging adults do not hope for a committed romantic partnership. In fact, having a steady partner is still sought. This makes sense for human development: Young adults in romantic relationships tend to be happier and healthier than their lonely peers. What has changed is the rise of cohabitation, living with an unmarried partner. Cohabitation was relatively unusual 50 years ago: Only one in nine marriages in 1970 began with cohabitation. Now cohabitation is the norm (see Figure 11.8). About three of every four couples cohabit before marriage (Rosenfeld & Roesler, 2019). For many young couples, cohabitation is not just a prelude to marriage but a substitute for it. The benefits of cohabitation may or may not outweigh the problems (higher breakup rates, and, if the couple marries, higher divorce rates later on). One current view is that cohabitation in emerging adulthood is a “smart and savvy” strategy to achieve intimacy without commitment (Manning, 2020). Cohabitation rates vary from nation to nation. Almost everyone in Canada and Europe cohabits at some point. Many people in Sweden, France, Jamaica, and Puerto Rico live with a partner for decades, sometimes all their lives, never marrying. Although marriage rates are down and cohabitation is up in every demographic group, education increases the rate of marriage before parenthood. Couples without college degrees are five times more likely to have children without marrying compared to cohabiting couples who are college graduates (Lundberg et al., 2016). The probable reason is economic. College graduates are more likely to have a steady, well-paying job, which often is considered a requirement for marriage. Some young women who cannot find a suitable mate decide that they would rather have a child than an unemployable husband. The meaning and consequences of cohabitation and marriage vary from couple to couple no matter what their education level or sexual orientation. However, one definite advantage and one clear disadvantage have been found in study after study. The advantage is economic: People save money by living together, so cohabitation is better financially than living alone. This is a reason given by many couples who struggle financially (Sassler & Miller, 2017). The disadvantage occurs if children are born: Cohabiting partners have lower incomes than married partners and are less committed to child rearing. Those two factors may be the underlying reason that their children are less likely to excel in school, graduate, and go to college (Manning, 2015). Note, however, that income is not the only reason. It is true that low-income parents are less likely to marry, and income matters for a child’s education. However, even among parents with the same income level, marriage increases commitment to family life, and that benefits the children. DATA CONNECTIONS: Technology and Romance: Trends for U.S. Adults examines how emerging adults find romantic partners. INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE Now we turn to a problem that is particularly common among emerging-adult couples: domestic abuse. This problem occurs among dating and married couples, but it is especially common among cohabitating partners (Manning et al., 2018). A nationwide survey of 14,155 men and women in the United States found that 32 percent of the women and 28 percent of the men had experienced physical violence from an intimate partner, with the most common age at first abuse between ages 18 and 24 (MMWR, September 5, 2014). Most such surveys make the mistake of thinking only about physical harm when considering domestic abuse. Emotional abuse can be worse, if criticism and fear are weaponized. Why are emerging adults particularly vulnerable? Inexperience, hormones, and freedom from parental supervision all play a part, but two aspects are directly related to emerging adulthood. One of the correlates of intimate partner violence is that one partner is NEET (not in education, employment, or training). In that case, abuse is more likely — true for women and for men, married or cohabiting (Alvira-Hammond et al., 2014). Another factor is substance abuse. As you read, alcohol and drug abuse are more common for people in their early 20s, and that increases the frequency and severity of interpersonal violence. In emerging adulthood, the connection between all forms of abuse (as victim and perpetrator) and drug use may be especially common in women (Ahmadabadi et al., 2019). In addition, many contemporary young adults have several romantic relationships between age 18 and 25, which increases the odds that at least one of those relationships will include emotional or physical abuse. The risk of abuse is highest when one partner ends a relationship that the other wants to continue. For that, a new weapon is sometimes added, called revenge porn, which is posting on social media photos or videos of one’s naked partner (Eaton et al., 2020). Couple abuse can take two forms, each with distinct causes, patterns, and means of prevention. In both cases, it is crucial to understand the interaction between the partners. Situational couple violence occurs when both partners fight — with words, slaps, and exclusion (leaving home, refusing sex, etc.). The situation causes stress, and then the partners attack each other. When coping methods are destructive (such as substance abuse) and external stress is high (such as for many low-income couples), adults may turn on those closest to them. Chapter App 11 bSafe IOS: https://tinyurl.com/y2b4zudq ANDROID: https://tinyurl.com/z759u77h RELEVANT TOPIC: Personal safety This safety app acts as an SOS system that can be activated by touch or voice, live streaming and recording an emergency situation and sending the user’s location to designated “guardians.” It also has a timer alarm and a siren. As best we know, situational abuse increased during the COVID-19 pandemic, because ways to reduce stress (talk a walk, go to work, visit a friend) decreased (Usher et al., 2020). Same-sex partners are at least as likely to be in an abusive relationship as other-sex couples are, with some research finding that lesbian couples are more likely to be abusive than gay couples (Longobardi & Badenes-Ribera, 2017; Rollè et al., 2018). The data on lesbian couples confirm what other research has found: Women are as aggressive in situational violence as men. Since men tend to be stronger, with more access to guns, it is true that victims of severe physical abuse are more often women. But remember that verbal and emotional abuse can be as hurtful as physical abuse, and for that, men might be more often victims. The mistaken male-abuser/female-victim assumption occurred not only because men are physically stronger, and thus cause more injury. In addition, men are reluctant to admit that they are victims, and outsiders are less likely to believe them. Likewise, same-sex couples hesitate to publicly acknowledge conflict, although in most aspects of relationships, they are similar to heterosexual couples (Stults et al., 2019). Social scientists have identified numerous causes of domestic violence, including youth, poverty, personality (such as poor impulse control), mental illness (such as antisocial personality disorder), and substance use disorder. Developmentalists note that many children who are harshly punished or sexually abused, or who witness domestic assault, grow up to become abusers or victims themselves. Just as we now know it is mistaken to assume that females are victims and males are perpetrators, it is also mistaken to think that interpersonal violence happens only in established relationships. A study of college students in dating relationships found that about 20 percent had experienced interpersonal violence, with much the same predictors as for those not in college, specifically childhood experiences and current alcohol use (Paat & Markham, 2019). As best we know, situational abuse increased during the COVID-19 pandemic, because ways to reduce stress (talk a walk, go to work, visit a friend) decreased (Usher et al., 2020). Same-sex partners are at least as likely to be in an abusive relationship as other-sex couples are, with some research finding that lesbian couples are more likely to be abusive than gay couples (Longobardi & Badenes-Ribera, 2017; Rollè et al., 2018). The data on lesbian couples confirm what other research has found: Women are as aggressive in situational violence as men. Since men tend to be stronger, with more access to guns, it is true that victims of severe physical abuse are more often women. But remember that verbal and emotional abuse can be as hurtful as physical abuse, and for that, men might be more often victims. The mistaken male-abuser/female-victim assumption occurred not only because men are physically stronger, and thus cause more injury. In addition, men are reluctant to admit that they are victims, and outsiders are less likely to believe them. Likewise, same-sex couples hesitate to publicly acknowledge conflict, although in most aspects of relationships, they are similar to heterosexual couples (Stults et al., 2019). Social scientists have identified numerous causes of domestic violence, including youth, poverty, personality (such as poor impulse control), mental illness (such as antisocial personality disorder), and substance use disorder. Developmentalists note that many children who are harshly punished or sexually abused, or who witness domestic assault, grow up to become abusers or victims themselves. Just as we now know it is mistaken to assume that females are victims and males are perpetrators, it is also mistaken to think that interpersonal violence happens only in established relationships. A study of college students in dating relationships found that about 20 percent had experienced interpersonal violence, with much the same predictors as for those not in college, specifically childhood experiences and current alcohol use (Paat & Markham, 2019). Often the problem arises from conflicting cultural understandings, not from psychopathology. This explains something that surprised some social workers: Many abused husbands and wives say they love each other and want to stay together. They seek counseling to help their relationship rather than to end it (Visser et al., 2020). This also explains domestic abuse among Latinx couples. Especially if they live far from other Latinx couples, women are more often perpetrators of partner abuse than men are, in part because boys are taught “never hit a girl.” However, if a Latinx couple lives in a neighborhood with many other Latinx people, another cultural value, familism, reduces domestic violence toward children and toward mates (Soller & Kuhlemeier, 2019). The less common but more ominous type of partner abuse is called intimate terrorism. Instead of mutual aggression there is a power imbalance, usually with a dominant a male abuser and a passive female victim, although the gender roles can be reversed (Dutton, 2012). (See Figure 11.9.) Terrorism is dangerous to the victim and to anyone who intervenes. FRIENDSHIP Friends are another important source of intimacy for emerging adults. They provide self-expansion (Aron et al., 2013); they enlarge a person’s understanding as friends empathize with each other. Since fewer emerging adults today are married and have children, their social world can, and usually does, include many peers who provide companionship. Unlike relatives, friends are selected for their ability to be loyal, trustworthy, supportive, and enjoyable — a mutual choice, not an obligatory one. Thus, friends understand and comfort each other when romance turns sour, and they provide useful information about everything from which college to attend to which socks to wear. For example, many adolescents are depressed about how their bodies appear. Interviews with 26-year-olds found that their negative body image lifted in late adolescence and early adulthood, primarily because friends reassured them about their bodies (Gattario & Frisén, 2019). People tend to make more friends during emerging adulthood than at any later period. They often use social media to extend and deepen friendships that begin face-to-face, becoming more aware of the day-to-day tribulations and celebrations of their friends. THINK CRITICALLY: Can a person with many friends also be lonely? Friendship patterns change with maturation. Young adults want many friends, and they work to gather them — befriending classmates; attending parties; speaking to strangers at concerts, on elevators, in parks, and so on. At about age 30, a switch begins, when quality becomes more important than quantity (Carmichael et al., 2015). Consequently, some friendships from early adulthood fade away; others deepen. One study of friendships included 25,185 adults in their 20s and 30s (Gillespie et al., 2015). The number of friends was quite similar among people of every sexual orientation and gender identity. As earlier research had reported, most people had at least three same-sex friendships and at least two of another sex. Gay men under age 30 tended to have the highest number of other-sex friends, perhaps because such friendships avoided the sexual tension that heterosexual friendships sometimes entail. In this study, participants were asked how many friends they could discuss sex with, celebrate their birthdays with, or call if in trouble late at night. Not surprisingly, all groups had more birthday party friends than sex-discussing friends. Generally, the number of friends to call when in trouble was between the other two (see Figure 11.10). FIGURE 11.10 Same, Yet Different The authors of this study were struck by how similar the friendship patterns of sexual minority and majority people were. As you see, the one noticeable trend is age, not sexuality. People over 30 reported fewer friends overall, and fewer other-sex friends in particular, from an average of 2.6 to an average of 2.1. In this study, the number of friends did not correlate with life satisfaction, but the quality of friendship did (Gillespie et al., 2015). There is a paradox found in studies of young-adult friendship. Not only do young adults, on average, have more friends and acquaintances than adults of other ages, they also have more loneliness. The only age group with higher rates of loneliness may be adults who are over age 80, although some research finds that even they are not as often lonely as the young (Barreto et al., 2021; Luhmann & Hawkley, 2016; Yang & Victor, 2011). Loneliness increases the risk of poor mental and physical health, so the loneliness of young adults is a worrisome sign. This leads us back to Erikson, who notes that each ongoing relationship demands some personal sacrifice, including vulnerability that brings deeper self-understanding and shatters the isolation of too much self-protection. To establish intimacy, the young adult must face the fear of ego loss in situations which call for self-abandon: in the solidarity of close affiliations [and] sexual unions, in close friendship and in physical combat, in experiences of inspiration by teachers and of intuition from the recesses of the self. The avoidance of such experiences … may lead to a deep sense of isolation and consequent self-absorption.