KMC 1083: Basic Helping Skills - Unit 2

KMC 1083: Basic Helping Skills Unit 2 – Helping Relationship Mdm Salmah Mohamad Yusoff Counselling Department Faculty of Cognitive Sciences & Human Development Universiti Malaysia Sarawak...

KMC 1083: Basic Helping Skills Unit 2 – Helping Relationship Mdm Salmah Mohamad Yusoff Counselling Department Faculty of Cognitive Sciences & Human Development Universiti Malaysia Sarawak Edit by: 20/09/2024 Dr Samsiah Jayos 1 UNIT OUTCOMES At the end of this unit, you will be able to: Associate the helper helpee relationship Describe the helper development stages Demonstrate the attending skills - SOLER Classify the verbal message Analyse the non-verbal cues communication 2  Helping Relationship Helper –helpee relationship Helper Helpee Values Issues Skills Beliefs Needs Expectations 3  How a Helper Develops (Perry’s Stages) 1. The Dualistic or Right/ Wrong Stage Is characterized by the belief that a helper’s responses to a client are right or wrong. In the beginning trainees often believe that there is only one right way to respond to a client’s statement or situation. The helper may fail to listen fully to their clients because they are thinking what they are going to say next. (Young, 2009) 4  How a Helper Develops (Perry’s Stages) 2. The Multiplistic Stage The helper become comfortable with the knowledge that there is no one right answer at any moment in the helping process. The student at this stage knows that questioning can be a valid approach, but he or she does not yet understand when this approach is more appropriate and therefore is confused about what to do. (Young, 2009) 5  How a Helper Develops (Perry’s Stages) 3. The Relativistic Stage When you have gained some experience through study and practice, you will move into relativistic stage. At that stage, you will recognize that although many type of responses may be appropriate, depending on circumstances, some are relatively better than others. You will be able to think about the effects of certain responses on the client and the effectiveness of the responses in reaching the desired goal. (Young, 2009) 6  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: I must help clients solve all their problems. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: If all goes well, I may make a good-sized dent in a problem or the client will continue to progress when the relationship ends. (Young, 2009) 7  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: If the client is not motivated, it is my fault. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: Although I can stimulate clients to consider making changes, I cannot force them. (Young, 2009) 8  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: If I care about my clients or have good practical experience, that is enough. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: Besides caring and practical experience in the helping field, I must learn all the skills I can. (Young, 2009) 9  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: If I am a good helper, my client will never need help again. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: If I am successful, the client may consult me again when a similar problem arises. (Young, 2009) 10  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: If I am effective with one client, I will be effective with every client. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: I will not be the best match for every client. (Young, 2009) 11  What Can You Expect from a Helping Relationship This section will indentify some common unrealistic beliefs about the helping process. UNREALISTIC BELIEF: Sometimes I feel incompetent; therefore I am not competent. REASONABLE EXPECTATION: There will be many times in my training and work as a helper when I will feel incompetent. (Young, 2009) 12 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship Professional helping relies on a special THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP involving a trained helper and a client wanting help. 1. There is a mutual liking or at least respect – At least the helper conveys respect for the client’s autonomy, and the client respects the helper’s expertise (Young, 2009) 13 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 2. The purpose of the relationship is the resolution of the client’s issues – the helper does not ask for or receive support from client. It is a one-way street where the helper is the giver. The helper’s own issues are dealt with outside of the client’s hour. (Young, 2009) 14 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 3. There is a sense of teamwork as both helper and client work toward a mutually agreed-upon goal– the client can draw strength from the fact that the helper is there to provide support for change in the mutually decided direction. (Young, 2009) 15 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 4. There is a contract specifying what will be disclosed to others outside of the relationship – as the client experiences this safety, he or she began to discuss deeper and deeper issues. (Young, 2009) 16  The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 5. There is an understanding that the relationship is confined to the counselling sessions and does not overlap into the participants’ personal lives – most helpers give out a 24-hour crisis hotline number rather than their own phone number. They do not interact socially with clients when it can be avoided so that objectivity is not strained by other consideration. (Young, 2009) 17 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 6. As a contractual relationship, the relationship can be terminated at any time – generally, the helper terminated the relationship when sufficient progress has been made or if the client is not making progress at all. (Young, 2009) 18  What Client Say? The clients mentioned the following helper behaviors that helped establish a solid relationship with the helper. 1. The helper taught me a technique, such making a list of goals 2. The helper showed good non- verbal, such as eye contact and leaning forward (Young, 2009) 19  What Client Say? 3. The helper showed good listening behaviors: remembering what was said and paraphrasing 4. The helper self-disclosed that he or she had had a similar experience (Young, 2009) 20  What Client Say? 5. The helper emphasized that it was my choice and that I knew myself best. 6. I like some personal characteristics of the helper. (Young, 2009) 21  HELPER SELF DISCLOSURE When using self-disclosure, the counselor briefly and appropriately discloses information about him/herself in a facilitative manner. The purpose of self-disclosure is to enhance the relationship between counselor and client. Self- disclosure can be made in response to a request by the client for information or may be offered voluntarily by the counselor. Self- disclosure is usually of a factual nature. http://www.csun.edu/~hcpsy002/Psy460_GrpTask08_Self-Dis.pdf 22  HELPER SELF DISCLOSURE For example: Client: Can you tell me a little about your training and qualifications? Counselor: Sure. I am a counselor-in-training working on my graduate degree in counseling psychology at this university. I have completed the first year of my degree and I am working in this clinic as a part of my advanced training in psychotherapy. http://www.csun.edu/~hcpsy002/Psy460_GrpTask08_Self-Dis.pdf 23  HELPER SELF DISCLOSURE For example: Helper: Lynda, as you’ve been talking of your difficulties over taking exams, it reminds me of a period in my life when I was really scared about exams and had to do something about it. Though clearly our experiences differ, I think I do have some idea of what you’re going through. Lynda: Thanks for that. One of the hardest things about being so scared is feeling so awfully alone and useless. It’s as if I am burdening and boring people by talking about it. Nelson-Jones (2008) 24  Common Mistakes in Helper Self Disclosure Mistake 1 : The helper’s self-disclosure is too deep Mistake 2: Self-disclosure is poorly timed Mistake 3 : The helper’s self-disclosure does not match the client’s experience (Young, 2009) 25 Activity: Timeline of My Life 26 Becoming A Helper 4th Edition by Marianne Schneider Corey & Gerald Corey Wadsworth Group A division of Thomson Learning, Inc. 27  Know Thyself, Then Help Others  The value of self-exploration ◦ Knowing yourself is a basic requisite to helping others ◦ Using individual and group counseling for self- exploration Becoming A Helper - Chapter 3 (1) 28 Know Thyself, Then Help Others  Essential that you understand your family-of- origin issues ◦ Identify issues in your family of origin -- how your experiences in your family have current influences ◦ Become aware of how your issues with your family might help or hinder you in working with families ◦ Identify your role in your family ◦ Review ways you related to siblings and parents Becoming A Helper - Chapter 3 (2) 29 Know Thyself, Then Help Others  Essential that you understand your family- of-origin issues (cont.) ◦ Identify family rules ◦ Ways you coped with conflicts in your family ◦ Messages you received from your family ◦ Significant developments in your family ◦ Identify areas for further self-exploration Becoming A Helper - Chapter 3 (2) 30 Life Transitions  Overview of the nine stages of development from infancy to old age ◦ 1. INFANCY: (Birth to age 1) Task is to develop a sense of trust in self, others, and the environment ◦ 2. EARLY CHILDHOOD: (Ages 1 to 3) Task is to begin the journey toward autonomy ◦ 3. PRESCHOOL AGE: (Ages 3 to 6) Task is to find out who we are and what we are able to do ◦ 4. MIDDLE CHILDHOOD: (Ages 6 to 12) Task is to achieve a sense of industry Becoming A Helper - Chapter 4 (1) 31 Life Transitions  Overview of the nine stages of development from infancy to old age ◦ 5. ADOLESCENCE: (Ages 12 to 20) Task is to search for an identify and find one’s voice ◦ 6. EARLY ADULTHOOD: (Ages 20 to 35) Task is to form intimate relationship ◦ 7. MIDDLE ADULTHOOD: (Ages 35 to 55) Task is to learn how to live creatively with ourselves and others ◦ 8. LATE MIDDLE AGE: (Ages 55 to 70) Task is to decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives ◦ 9. LATE ADULTHOOD: (Age 70 onward) Task is to complete a life review and put life into perspective Becoming A Helper - Chapter 4 (2) 32  Some Key Questions for Self-Reflection  What are some major turning points in your development?  How have your earlier experiences impacted your present way of thinking, feeling, and behaving?  Are there any ways that you’ve converted your problems into sources of strength? Becoming A Helper - Chapter 4 (3) 33  Confidentiality  Confidentiality is a central concept in the client-helper relationship ◦ Confidentiality needs to be discussed with clients from the onset of the relationship ◦ Confidentiality is essential but is not absolute Becoming A Helper - Chapter 9 (5) 34  Confidentiality (cont.) ◦ Some exceptions to confidentiality:  Client poses a danger to self or others  Client under age of 16 is the victim of abuse  Client needs to be hospitalized  Information is made an issue in a court action  Client requests a release of record Becoming A Helper - Chapter 9 (5) 35  Client Autonomy  Respecting the client’s autonomy is basic ◦Helpers do not make decisions for clients, nor do they foster dependent attitudes and behavior ◦As helpers, your main job is to put yourself out of business Becoming A Helper - Chapter 9 (6) 36  Take Care of Yourself  The challenge of self-care for helpers ◦ There are no easy answers ◦ Important for you to discover your own path to keeping alive ◦ Develop a personal strategy for coping with stress and dealing with burnout Becoming A Helper - Chapter 15 (1) 37  Cognitive Approaches to Self- Care  Learn to identify constructive and non-constructive beliefs  Recognize the ways your thinking influences your behavior  Challenge distorted beliefs  Acquire ways to change self- defeating thinking Becoming A Helper - Chapter 15 (2) 38  You Have Control Over Yourself ◦ Assess your current behavior to see if it is working ◦ Strive to develop realistic expectations ◦ Learn practical strategies for managing stress ◦ Realize you are one person ◦ Avoid taking on too many projects at once ◦ Learn time management techniques ◦ Practice time management strategies ◦ Find other sources of meaning besides Becoming A Helper - Chapter 15 (3) work 39  You Have Control Over Yourself ◦ Learn and respect your own limits ◦ Strive for variety within your job ◦ Build linkages with colleagues and friends ◦ Watch for subtle signs of burnout ◦ Make taking care of yourself a priority ◦ Treat yourself as you want others to treat you ◦ Recognize that you can be an active Becoming A Helper - Chapter 15 (4) agent in your life 40  Helping Relationship Basic to helping is the ability to communicate effectively. Communication means the helper’s ability to listen attentively, to respond appropriately, to understand the verbal and non-verbal cues and behaviour. Activity 2.1 and 2.2 pg 34 (Okun) 41 Effective Communication Verbal and non-verbal communication Communication problem is the major source of interpersonal conflict. Helping relationship most effective when helpers show active listening (versus passive listening) and attentive behaviour. Refer Okun pg. 33 42 Non-verbal cues in communication Sitting position Body position Eyes Eye contact Body movement Hands movement Head Facial expression Mouth Voice/tone Skin 43  Verbal Messages Difficult to understand fully the content. The important is the underlying message. Easier to hear cognitive content. Affective content is more difficult because it might different from the cognitive content. Activity: Feeling words. This can differentiate between effective and ineffective helper. ( Exercise: Okun page 62-63, exercise 3.11) 44 Cognitive messages Easier to identify and respond. Underlying feeling is not addressed. Questions are in the form getting information eg What else did he say? So, what happened after that? Do not identify feeling. 45  Counselling IS and IS NOT is not thinking for another person. is thinking with the client. is not advice-giving as to what client ought to do. is a process for resolving problems. is not a casual relationship. is humanistic in nature and believe in the uniqueness of an individual. is not simply being sympathetic towards the client’s feeling. is a professional and formal relationship. is not merely the application of techniques. is at its best when the counselor is doing the least. is not an ego trip for the counselor. is assisting client in changing things and developing competence. is not being manipulative. is building self-reliance by aiding someone else in making decisions and fulfilling commitments. is not just talking things over. 46  Helping Skills Attending Skills SOLER (Egan, 1998) S Face helpee SQUARELY – means you’re interested and available to work with them O OPEN posture – non-defensive and receptive L LEAN towards helpee at times. To let know you’re attentive E EYE contact –your interest in their concerns R RELAX – confidence and this helps helpee to relax too 47  Roadblocks to Communication 1. ORDERING, DIRECTING, COMMANDING - You must do this - You cannot do this - I expect you to do this - Go apologize to her (Young, 2009) 48  Roadblocks to Communication 2. WARNING, THREATENING - You had better do this, or else - You better not try that (Young, 2009) 49  Roadblocks to Communication 3. MORALIZING, PREACHING - You ought to try it - It is your responsibility to do this - I urge you to do this (Young, 2009) 50 Roadblocks to Communication 4. ADVISING, GIVING SOLUTIONS - Let me suggest - It would be best for you if (Young, 2009) 51 Roadblocks to Communication 5. JUDGING, CRITICIZING, BLAMING - You’re wrong - You didn’t do it right (Young, 2009) 52 Change becomes possible when helpees: 1. Realize they are not facing problems alone- others have similar problems 2. Perceive that human suffering is universal (Corsini & Wedding, 1995) (Brammar & MacDonald, 1999) 53  Change becomes possible when helpees: 3. Understand themselves better and get a broader perspective on their lives when they realize that others believe in them 4. Observe others working through their problems or see models (Corsini & Wedding, 1995) (Brammar & MacDonald, 1999) 54 Change becomes possible when helpees: 5. Receive unconditional positive regard from the helper 6. Recognize they are recipients of love and caring from the helper(s) (Corsini & Wedding, 1995) (Brammar & MacDonald, 1999) 55  Change becomes possible when helpees: 7. Identify a close emotional bond with the helper(s) 8. Experiment with new behaviors and receive support and feedback (Corsini & Wedding, 1995) (Brammar & MacDonald, 1999) 56  Change becomes possible when helpees: 9. Express strong feelings in a permissive atmosphere 10. Admit that there is something wrong with their behavior and are willing to explore changes. (Corsini & Wedding, 1995) (Brammar & MacDonald, 1999) 57