The Law and Literature, Chapter II, PDF

## The Law And Literature ### Chapter II **A Dialogue between Parson Abraham Adams and Lady Booby.** Mr. Adams was not far off, for he was drinking her Ladyship's health below, in a cup of her ale. He no sooner came before her than she began in the following manner: 'I wonder, Sir, after the many...

## The Law And Literature ### Chapter II **A Dialogue between Parson Abraham Adams and Lady Booby.** Mr. Adams was not far off, for he was drinking her Ladyship's health below, in a cup of her ale. He no sooner came before her than she began in the following manner: 'I wonder, Sir, after the many great obligations you have had to this family' (with which the reader hath in the course of this history been minutely acquainted) 'that you will ungratefully show respect to a fellow who hath been turned out of it for his misdeeds. Nor doth it, I can tell you, Sir, become a man of your character, to run about the country with an idle fellow and wench. Indeed, as for the girl, I know no harm of her. Slipslop tells me she was formerly bred up in my house, and behaved as she ought, till she hankered after this fellow, and he spoiled her. Nay, she may still perhaps do very well, if he will let her alone. You are, therefore, doing a monstrous thing in endeavoring to procure a match between these two people, which will be to the ruin of them both.' 'Madam,' says Adams, 'if your Ladyship will but hear me speak, I protest I never heard any harm of Mr. Joseph Andrews, if I had, I should have corrected him for it. For I never have, nor will encourage the faults of those under my cure. As for the young woman, I assure your Ladyship, I have as good an opinion of her as your Ladyship yourself, or any other can have. She is the sweetest-tempered, honestest, worthiest young creature, indeed, as to her beauty, I do not commend her on that account, though all men allow she is the handsomest woman, gentle or simple, that ever appeared in the parish.' 'You are very impertinent,' says she, 'to talk such fulsome stuff to me. It is mighty unbecoming truly in a clergyman to trouble himself about handsome women, and you are a delicate judge of beauty, no doubt. A man who hath lived all his life in such a parish as this, is a rare judge of beauty. Ridiculous! Beauty indeed, - a country wench a beauty. - I shall be sick whenever I hear beauty mentioned again. - And so this wench is to stock the parish with beauties, I hope. - But, Sir, our poor are numerous enough already. I will have no more vagabonds settle here.' ### Chapter III **What passed between the Lady and Lawyer Scout.** In the afternoon the Lady sent for Mr. Scout, whom she attacked most violently for intermeddling with her servants, which he denied, and indeed with truth. For he had only asserted accidentally, and perhaps rightly, that a year's service gained a settlement; and so far he owned that he might have formerly informed the Parson, and believed it was law. 'I have resolved,' said the Lady, 'to have no discarded servants of mine settle here: and so, if this be your law, I shall send for another lawyer'. Scout said, 'if she sent for a hundred lawyers, not one, nor all of them could alter the law. The utmost that was in the power of a lawyer, was to prevent the law's taking effect; and that he himself could do for her Ladyship as well as any other. And I believe, says he, 'Madam, your Ladyship not being conversant in these matters hath mistaken a difference: For I asserted only, that a man who served a year was settled. Now there is a material difference between being settled, in law and settled in fact; and as I affirmed generally he was settled; and law is preferable to fact, my settlement must be understood in law, and not in fact! And suppose, Madam, we admit he was settled in law, what use will they make of it, how doth that relate to fact? He is not settled in fact; and if he be not settled in fact, he is not an inhabitant; and if he is not an inhabitant, he is not of this parish; and then undoubtedly the banns ought not to be published here: For Mr. Adams hath told me your Ladyship's pleasure, and the reason, which is a very good one, to prevent burdening us with the poor. We have too many already; and I think we ought to have an act to hang or transport half of them. If we can prove in evidence, that he is not settled in fact, it is another matter. What I said to Mr. Adams, was on a supposition that he was settled in fact: and indeed if that was the case, I should doubt'. 'Don't tell me your facts and your ifs,' said the Lady, 'I don't understand your gibberish: You take too much upon yourself, and are very impertinent and you shall be taught better, I assure you, you shall. But as to the wench, I am resolved she shall not settle here. I will not suffer such beauties as these to produce children for us to keep.' 'Beauties indeed! your Ladyship is pleased to be merry' - answered Scout. 'Mr. Adams described her so to me,' said the Lady. ' - Pray what sort of dowdy is she, Mr. Scout?' 'The ugliest creature almost I ever beheld, a poor dirty drab, your Ladyship never saw such a wretch.' 'Well but, dear Mr. Scout, let her be what she will, these ugly women will bring children you know, so that we must prevent the marriage.' 'True, Madam,' replied Scout, 'for the subsequent marriage cooperating with the law, will carry law into fact. When a man is married, he is settled in fact; and then he is not removable. I will see Mr. Adams, and I make no doubt of prevailing with him. His only objection is doubtless that he shall lose his fee: But that being once made easy, as it shall be, I am confident no further objection will remain. No, no, it is impossible: but your Ladyship can't persuade him to depart from his fee. Every man ought to have a proper value for his fee. As to the matter in question, if your Ladyship pleases to employ me in it, I will venture to promise you success. The laws of this land are not so vulgar, to permit a mean fellow to contend with one of your Ladyship's fortune. We have one sure card, which is to carry him before Justice Frolick, who, upon hearing your Ladyship's name, will commit him without any further questions. As for the dirty slut, we shall have nothing to do with her: for if we get rid of the fellow, the ugly jade will –' 'Take what measures your please, good Mr. Scout,' answered the Lady, 'but I wish you could rid the parish of both: for Slipslop tells me such stories of this wench, that I abhor the thoughts of her; and tho' you say she is such an ugly slut, yet you know, dear mr. Scout, these forward creatures who run after men, will always find some as forward as themselves: So that, to prevent the increase of beggars, we must get rid of her.' 'Your Ladyship is very much in the right,' answered Scout, 'but I am afraid the law is a little deficient in giving us any such power of prevention; however the justice will stretch it as far as he is able, to oblige your Ladyship. To say truth, it is a great blessing to the country that he is in the commission; for he hath taken several poor off our hands, that the law would never lay hold on. I know some justice who make as much of committing a man to bridewell as his lordship at size would of hanging him: But it would do a man good to see his worship our justice commit a fellow to bridewell; he takes so much pleasure in it: And when once we have him there, we seldom hear any more of him. He's either starved or eat up by vermin in a month's time' - Here the arrival of a visitor put an end to the conversation, and Mr. Scout having undertaken the cause, and promised its success, departed. This Scout was one-of. those fellows, who without any knowledge of the law, or being bred to it, take upon themselves, in defiance of an act of parliament, to act as lawyers in the country, and are called so. They are the pests of society, and a scandal to a profession, to which indeed they do not belong; and which owes to such kind of rascallyons the ill-will which weak persons bear towards it. With this fellow, to whom a little before she would not have condescended to have spoken, did a certain passion for Joseph, and the jealousy and disdain of poor innocent fanny, betray the lady booby, into a familiar discourse, in which she inadvertently confirmed many hints, with which slipslop, whose gallant he was, had pre-acquainted him; and whence he had taken an opportunity to assert those severe falsehoods of little fanny, which possibly the reader might not have been well able to account for, if we had not thought proper to give him this information. ### End Notes and Vocabulary Look up the meanings of the following words: - Parish - Applaud - Vermin - Burlesque - Vagabonds - Gibberish - Surcease - Picaresque **To a Fellow who hath been turned out of it for his Misdeeds:** the reference is to Joseph. **Cure:** pastoral charge. **Banns:** proclamation of intended marriage. **I have never been able to pay for a license:** that is, a license to preach; a curate/parson had to pay a license and then be admitted/appointed by the bishop.