Necessities of Human Beings and Family
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Sari Agricultural Sciences and Natural Resources University
Hashimi Khanabas
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Summary
This document discusses basic human needs, focusing on emotional and sexual aspects within the context of marriage. It elaborates on the importance of marriage, outlining various advantages and addressing challenges. The text advises on suitable criteria for choosing a partner and strategies to navigate obstacles which may hinder or complicate marriages.
Full Transcript
ﺑﺎﺳﻤﻪ ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺶ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭ ﺟﻤﻌﯿﺖ ﺍﺳﺘﺎﺩ ﻫﺎﺷﻤﯽ ﺧﺎﻧﻌﺒﺎﺳﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺸﮑﺪﻩ ﻫﺎﯼ ﭘﺰﺷﮑﯽ ﻭ ﺩﺍﺭﻭﺳﺎﺯﯼ ﻭ ﻋﻠﻮﻡ ﮐﺸﺎﻭﺭﺯﯼ ﺳﺎﺭﯼ ﺟﻠﺴﻪ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻧﯿﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﯼ ﺍﺳﺎﺳﯽ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ : ﺷﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﺘﻮﺍﻥ ﮔﻔﺖ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯﻫﺎﻳﻲ ﻛ...
ﺑﺎﺳﻤﻪ ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺶ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭ ﺟﻤﻌﯿﺖ ﺍﺳﺘﺎﺩ ﻫﺎﺷﻤﯽ ﺧﺎﻧﻌﺒﺎﺳﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺸﮑﺪﻩ ﻫﺎﯼ ﭘﺰﺷﮑﯽ ﻭ ﺩﺍﺭﻭﺳﺎﺯﯼ ﻭ ﻋﻠﻮﻡ ﮐﺸﺎﻭﺭﺯﯼ ﺳﺎﺭﯼ ﺟﻠﺴﻪ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻧﯿﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﯼ ﺍﺳﺎﺳﯽ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ : ﺷﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﺘﻮﺍﻥ ﮔﻔﺖ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯﻫﺎﻳﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺷﺨﺺ ﺑﻴﺶ ﺍﺯ ﭘﻴﺶ ﺩﺭ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺍﺣﺴﺎﺱ ﻣﻲ ﻛﻨﺪ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﻭ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺗﺄﻣﻴﻦ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺟﺎﻧﺐ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﻁ ﻭ ﺗﻔﺮﻳﻂ ﺭﺍ ﻧﭙﻴﻤﺎﻳﺪ ،ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭ ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﻭ ﺭﻭﺣﻲ ﺑﺨﺸﻴﺪﻩ ﻭ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻫﻤﻪ ﺟﺎﻧﺒﻪ ﺍﻭ ﺣﺘﻲ ﺍﻣﻨﻴﺖ ﻭ ﭘﻨﺎﻫﮕﺎﻩ ﺑﻮﺩﻥ ﻭ ﺣﺲ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭ ﺍﻳﺜﺎﺭ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﭘﺎﺳﺦ ﻣﯽ ﺩﻫﺪ. -1ﻧﯿﺎﺯ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﯽ : ﻫﻢ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻁ ﻭ ﻫﻢ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﺑﺎ ﺩﻳﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﻧﻴﺎﺯﻣﻨﺪ ﻫﺮ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﻫﻢ ﺑﻪ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻛﺮﺩﻥ ﻭ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭﺍﻗﻊ ﺷﺪﻥ.ﺩﺭ ﻗﺮﺁﻥ ﭘﻴﺮﺍﻣﻮﻥ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻓﻮﻕ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﺩﻩ ﺗﺄﮐﻴﺪ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ -2ﻧﯿﺎﺯ ﺟﻨﺴﯽ: ﺍﻳﻦ ﻧﻜﺘﻪ ﻗﺎﺑﻞ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺁﻧﭽﻪ ﻣﻴﺘﻮﺍﻧﺪ ﺑﻪ ﭼﻨﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﭘﺎﺳﺦ ﮔﻮﻳﺪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺳﺎﺳﻲ ﻭ ﺗﻜﻮﻳﻨﻲ ﺩﺭ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺁﺳﯿﺐ ﻫﺎﯼ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ : ﻭ ﭘﯿﺎﻣﺪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺁﻥ . ﺍﻟﻒ ( ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﺁﺯﺍﺩ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ -1ﺍﻓﺴﺎﺭ ﮔﺴﻴﺨﺘﮕﻲ ﺍﻣﻴﺎﻝ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ :ﺯﻳﺎﺩﻩ ﺭﻭﻱ ﺩﺭ ﺍﺭﺿﺎﻱ ﻏﺮﻳﺰﻩ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﻧﻪ ﺗﻨﻬﺎ ﺑﺎﻋﺚ ﺍﺭﺿﺎﻱ ﻛﺎﻣﻞ ﻧﻤﻴﺸﻮﺩ ،ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﺯﺍ ﻫﻢ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺑﻮﺩ .ﺑﻪ ﺗﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﺷﻬﻴﺪ ﻣﻄﻬﺮﻱ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻋﺮﺿﻪ ﻫﺮ ﭼﻪ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﮔﺮﺩﺩ ﻫﻮﺱ ﻭ ﻣﻴﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻨﻮﻉ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ . -2ﺍﺣﺴﺎﺱ ﮔﻨﺎﻩ .ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﻓﻄﺮﺗﺎ ﭘﺎﮎ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺣﺮﮐﺖ ﺧﻼﻑ ﻓﻄﺮﺕ ﺩﺭ ﺭﻭﺡ ﻭ ﺭﻭﺍﻧﺶ ﺍﺛﺮ ﻣﻨﻔﯽ ﺍﻳﺠﺎﺩ ﻣﯽ ﮐﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﻧﺎﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﻪ ﺁﺯﺍﺭ ﻣﯽ ﺩﻫﺪ -3ﻣﺤﺮﻭﻣﻴﺖ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺭﺯﺵ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻭﺍﻻﻱ ﻭﺟﻮﺩﻱ :ﺭﺍﺟﺮﺯ ﻭ ﻣﺰﻟﻮ ﻫﺪﻑ ﻭﺍﻻﻱ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻧﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺷﻜﻮﻓﺎﻳﻲ ﻣﻴﺪﺍﻧﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺁﻟﭙﻮﺭﺕ ﺗﺒﺪﻳﻞ ﺭﺍ ﻏﺎﻳﺖ ﺍﺻﻠﻲ ﺑﺮ ﻣﻴﺸﻤﺎﺭﺩ ﺷﺪﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﻛﺎﻣﻞ ﻭ ﭘﺨﺘﻪ ،ﺍﺯ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﺭﻭ ﻓﺮﻭﻡ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻣﻴﮕﻮﻳﺪ :ﻫﺮ ﭼﻪ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻧﻬﺎ ﺩﺭ ﻃﻮﻝ ﺗﺎﺭﻳﺦ ،ﺁﺯﺍﺩﻱ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﺩ ،ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﺍﺣﺴﺎﺱ ﺗﻨﻬﺎﻳﻲ ﻭ ﺍﻧﺰﻭﺍ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻨﺪ. -4ﺑﺮﻭﺯ ﻧﺎﻫﻨﺠﺎﺭﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ؛ ﮔﻨﺎﻩ ﻭ ﻳﺎ ﻫﺮ ﻧﻮﻉ ﺧﻼﻑ ﻋﻘﻞ ﻭ ﻓﻄﺮﺕ ﭼﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺑﻌﺪ ﻓﺮﺩﯼ ﻭ ﭼﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﯽ ﻣﻮﻟﺪ ﻳﮏ ﻧﺎﻫﻨﺠﺎﺭﯼ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﯽ ﺍﺳﺖ -5ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﺭﺳﺎﻧﺪﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ :ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻁ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺁﺯﺍﺩ ﻣﺘﻮﺟﻪ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ . -6ﺑﺮﻭﺯ ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ :ﺍﺭﺿﺎﻱ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻛﻨﺘﺮﻝ ﺷﺪﻩ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻧﻮﻥ ﻣﺪﺍﺭ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . -7ﻇﻬﻮﺭ ﺗﻨﺶ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺭﻭﺍﻧﻲ :ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻁ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﮔﺎﻩ ﺑﻪ ﻭﺍﺑﺴﺘﮕﻲ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻭ ﭘﺴﺮ ﻣﻲ ﺍﻧﺠﺎﻣﺪ .ﭘﺲ ﺍﺯ ﻣﺪﺗﻲ ﻧﻈﺮ ﺭﻭﺍﻧﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻭﺍﺑﺴﺘﮕﻲ ﻫﺎ ﺷﻜﻞ ﮔﺮﻓﺖ ،ﺍﻣﻜﺎﻥ ﺟﺪﺍﻳﻲ ﺍﺯ ﻭ ﻣﺸﻜﻞ ﺁﻓﺮﻳﻦ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﭼﻨﻴﻦ ﻣﻮﺍﻗﻌﻲ ، ،ﺑﺴﻴﺎﺭ ﺳﺨﺖ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﺎﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻓﺴﺮﺩﮔﻲ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﺩﭼﺎﺭ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﻧﺪ . -8ﺑﺮﻭﺯ ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﻌﻨﻮﻱ :ﻛﺴﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻋﻘﻞ ﺍﻭ ﺑﺮ ﺷﻬﻮﺗﺶ ﻏﻠﺒﻪ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺑﺮﺗﺮ ﺍﺯ ﻣﻼﺋﻜﻪ ﻣﻴﮕﺮﺩﺩ ﻭ ﻛﺴﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺷﻬﻮﺕ ﺍﻭ ﺑﺮ ﻋﻘﻠﺶ ﻏﻠﺒﻪ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺍﺯ ﭼﻬﺎﺭ ﭘﺎﻳﺎﻥ ﭘﺴﺖ ﺗﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ . -9ﻓﺮﺍﻭﺍﻧﻲ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻧﺎﭘﺎﻳﺪﺍﺭ :ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻭ ﭘﺴﺮ ﺍﻏﻠﺐ ﺑﺮ ﺍﺳﺎﺱ ﺟﺎﺫﺑﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻇﺎﻫﺮﻱ ﺷﻜﻞ ﻣﻲ ﮔﻴﺮﺩ ﻭ ﺷﺮﻁ ﻃﺮﻓﻴﻦ ﺍﺳﺎﺳﻲ ﻳﻚ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﻮﻓﻖ ،ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﺭﻋﺎﻳﺖ ﻛﻔﻮﻳﺖ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﻟﺤﺎﻅ ﻧﻤﻴﺸﻮﺩ ،ﺩﺭ ﻧﺘﻴﺠﻪ ،ﻣﻴﺰﺍﻥ ﻣﻮﻓﻘﻴﺖ ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﻳﺎﻓﺖ . ﻭ ﺑﺎ ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ :ﻫﻨﮕﺎﻣﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﺑﻪ ﺭﺍﺣﺘﻲ -10 ﺻﺮﻑ ﻫﺰﻳﻨﻪ ﺍﻧﺪﻙ ،ﺍﻣﻜﺎﻥ ﻧﻴﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻫﺪﺍﻑ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻧﻈﺮ ﺧﻮﻳﺶ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺑﺘﻮﺍﻧﻨﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻃﺮﻳﻖ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﭘﻴﺎﭘﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺟﺎﻳﮕﺰﻳﻨﻲ ﺷﻴﻮﻩ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺭﺿﺎ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ ،ﺍﻧﮕﻴﺰﻩ ﺯﻳﺎﺩﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻫﻤﺮﺍﻩ ﺑﺎ ﻣﺴﺌﻮﻟﻴﺖ ﻫﻤﭽﻮﻥ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻧﺨﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ . ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﻟﺬﺕ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ :ﮔﺮﭼﻪ ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻁ ﺁﺯﺍﺩ ﻋﻄﺶ ﺭﻭﺍﻧﻲ - -11 ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻓﺰﻭﻥ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ،ﺍﺳﺘﻤﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻭﺿﻌﻴﺖ ﻭ ﺗﺠﺮﺑﻪ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺎﻻ ﺑﺮﺩﻩ ﻣﻜﺮﺭ ﻣﺤﺮﻙ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ،ﺁﺳﺘﺎﻧﻪ ﺗﺤﺮﻳﻚ ﺣﺴﻲ ﺑﻪ ﻣﺮﻭﺭ ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﻣﻴﺪﻫﺪ . ﻭ ﻟﺬﺕ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺏ ( ﺩﻭﺳﺘﻲ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﻭ ﭘﯿﺎﻣﺪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺁﻥ : ﻫﺮ ﭼﻨﺪ ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺭﻭﺍﻥ ﺷﻨﺎﺳﺎﻥ ﻏﺮﺑﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﻲ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻓﻮﺍﻳﺪﻱ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮﺷﻤﺮﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ ،ﺑﺴﻴﺎﺭﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻧﺎﻥ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺩﺭ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ،ﺭﻭﺍﻥ ﺷﻨﺎﺳﻲ ﻣﻘﺎﻻﺗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ،ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺯﻥ ،ﭘﺮ ﺧﺎﺷﮕﺮﻱ ﻭ ﺑﺮﻭﺯ ﺣﺴﺎﺩﺕ ﻧﮕﺎﺷﺘﻪ ﺍﻧﺪ ،ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺯﻳﺮ ﺭﺍ ﺫﻛﺮ ﻛﺮﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ : -ﭘﻨﻬﺎﻥ ﻛﺮﺩﻥ ﻭ ﺗﺤﺮﻳﻒ ﻫﻮﻳﺖ . -ﺑﺮﻭﺯ ﺣﺴﺎﺩﺕ . -ﺍﻓﺰﺍﻳﺶ ﺧﺸﻮﻧﺖ ﺩﺭ ﻗﺮﺍﺭﻫﺎﻱ ﻋﺎﺷﻘﺎﻧﻪ . -ﮔﺮﺍﻳﺶ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻟﻜﻞ . . -ﮔﺮﺍﻳﺶ ﺑﻪ ﺳﻮﺀ ﻣﺼﺮﻑ ﻣﻮﺍﺩ ﻣﺨﺪﺭ . -ﺍﻓﺰﺍﻳﺶ ﺗﺼﺎﺩﻓﺎﺕ ﺭﺍﻧﻨﺪﮔﻲ -ﺗﺸﺪﻳﺪﻱ ﺩﺭﮔﻴﺮﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﮔﻲ . -ﺗﺠﺎﻭﺯ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﺁﺷﻨﺎ ) ﺗﺠﺎﻭﺯ ﺩﺭ ﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻋﺎﺷﻘﺎﻧﻪ ( . -ﺍﺭﺗﻜﺎﺏ ﺑﺰﻫﻜﺎﺭﻱ ﻭ ﺧﻼﻑ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭﻱ . -ﺑﺮﻗﺮﺍﺭﻱ ﺭﺍﺑﻄﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﭘﻴﺸﺮﻓﺘﻪ . -ﺍﺑﺘﻼ ﺑﻪ ﺑﻴﻤﺎﺭﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﻘﺎﺭﺑﺘﻲ ﻣﺎﻧﻨﺪ ﺍﻳﺪﺯ ﻭ ﺳﻮﺯﺍﻙ ﻭ .... ﺍﺟﺒﺎﺭ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺯﻭﺩ ﻫﻨﮕﺎﻡ -ﺑﺎﺭﺩﺍﺭﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻧﺎﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﻪ . . -ﺍﺑﺘﻼ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺧﺘﻼﻻﺕ ﻫﻴﺠﺎﻧﻲ ﻭ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ . ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﻲ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ -ﻳﻜﻲ ﺩﻳﮕﺮ ﺍﺯ ﺑﻪ ﺑﺮﻗﺮﺍﺭﻱ ﺭﺍﺑﻄﻪ ،ﻭﺍﺩﺍﺭ ﺷﺪﻥ ﻧﺎﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﻪ ﻭ ﺍﺟﺒﺎﺭﻱ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ .ﺍﻳﻦ ﭘﺪﻳﺪﻩ ﻛﻪ ﺻﺤﻨﻪ ﺑﻪ ﻇﺎﻫﺮ ﺩﻟﭙﺬﻳﺮ ﻭ ﺻﻤﻴﻤﻴﺎﻧﻪ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﻋﺮﺻﻪ ﺁﺳﻴﺐ ﺭﺳﺎﻥ ﻭﻓﺸﺎﺭ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ ﺗﺒﺪﻳﻞ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ،ﻳﻜﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺑﺎﺭﺯ ﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﮔﻮﻧﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺧﺸﻮﻧﺖ ﺩﺭ ﺟﻮﺍﻣﻊ ﻣﺪﺭﻥ ﻣﻌﺎﺻﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺧﻮﯾﺸﺘﻦ ﺩﺍﺭﯼ ﻭ ﻣﺪﯾﺮﯾﺖ ﺁﺳﯿﺐ ﻫﺎﯼ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ : ؛ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ -1ﺗﺎﻛﻴﺪ ﺑﺮ ﺭﻋﺎﻳﺖ ﺣﻴﺎﺀ ﺩﺭ ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﺑﺎ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ )ﻉ( ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ :ﺍﮔﺮ ﺣﻴﺎ ﻧﺒﻮﺩ ...ﺍﺯ ﻫﻴﭻ ﻳﻚ ﺍﺯ ﻛﺎﺭﻫﺎﻱ 1ﺯﺷﺖ ﺩﻭﺭ ﻧﻤﻴﺸﺪ ...ﺍﮔﺮ ﻣﺮﺩﻡ ﺣﻴﺎ ﻧﺪﺍﺷﺘﻨﺪ ، ﺍﺯ ﻓﺤﺸﺎ ﭘﺮﻫﻴﺰ ﻧﻤﻴﻜﺮﺩﻧﺪ . -2ﺍﻳﺠﺎﺩ ﻧﮕﺮﺵ ﻣﻨﻔﻲ ﺑﻪ ﭘﻴﺮﻭﻱ ﺍﺯ ﻏﺮﺍﺋﺰ ﺣﻴﻮﺍﻧﻲ ؛ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻲ )ﻉ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩﻧﺪ :ﺍﺑﺘﺪﺍﻱ ﺷﻬﻮﺕ ﻫﺎ ﻃﺮﺏ ﻭ ﺷﺎﺩﻱ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺁﺧﺮ ﺁﻥ ﺭﻧﺞ ﻭ ﺩﺷﻮﺍﺭﻱ . -3ﺍﻳﺠﺎﺩ ﻧﮕﺮﺵ ﻣﻨﻔﻲ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻝ ﺑﺴﺘﮕﻲ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﺑﻪ ﻧﺎ ﻣﺤﺮﻡ ﻭ ﺗﻮﺻﻴﻪ ﺑﻪ ﻭﺍﺭﺳﺘﮕﻲ ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺩﻟﺒﺴﺘﮕﻲ .؛ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻲ )ﻉ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩﻧﺪ :ﻫﺮ ﻛﻪ ﻋﺎﺷﻖ ﺷﻮﺩ ﭼﺸﻢ ﺑﺼﻴﺮﺕ ﺍﻭ ﻛﻮﺭ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ﻭ ﻗﻠﺒﺶ ﺑﻴﻤﺎﺭ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ . -4ﺳﻔﺎﺭﺵ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻘﻮﺍﻱ ﭼﺸﻢ ﻭ ﮔﻮﺵ ﻭ ﺯﺑﺎﻥ ﻭ ﻟﻤﺲ ؛ ﭼﺮﺍﻛﻪ ﺑﺴﻴﺎﺭﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺧﻄﺎﻫﺎﻱ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻳﺎﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺣﻮﺍﺱ ﺷﺮﻭﻉ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ .ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ )ﻉ( ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ :ﻧﮕﺎﻩ ﺑﻪ ﻧﺎ ﻣﺤﺮﻡ ﺗﻴﺮﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺗﻴﺮ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺷﻴﻄﺎﻥ ﻭ ﻣﺴﻤﻮﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﺑﺎ ﻧﮕﺎﻫﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺣﺴﺮﺕ ﺑﻪ ﺟﺎﻱ ﻣﻴﮕﺬﺍﺭﺩ .ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺒﺮ ﺍﻛﺮﻡ )ﺹ( ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ : ﻃﻮﻻﻧﻲ ِ ﺭﺍﺑﻄﻪ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ِ ﻏﻨﺎ )ﻣﻮﺳﻴﻘﻲ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻣﺠﺎﻟﺲ ﻟﻬﻮ ﻟﻌﺐ ﺍﻓﺴﻮﻥ ﺣﺮﺍﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ ( . ﺳﻮﺭﻩ ﻧﻮﺭ ﺁﻳﻪ 31ﻭ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺁﻳﻪ 59ﻭ 53ﺍﺣﺰﺍﺏ ﺑﺮ ﻟﺰﻭﻡ ﺭﻋﺎﻳﺖ ﺣﺠﺎﺏ ﺍﺯ ﺳﻮﻱ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺗﺎﻛﻴﺪ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺎﺕ ﺩﺭ ﺗﻔﺴﻴﺮ ﺩﺳﺖ ﻫﺎ ﺗﺎ ﻣﭻ ﻭ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﭘﻮﺷﺶ ﻣﺴﺘﺜﻨﺎ ﻛﺮﺩﻩ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺁﻳﺎﺕ ﺍﻧﺪ .ﺍﻟﺒﺘﻪ ﺍﺯ ﺁﺭﺍﻳﺶ ﻭ ﺯﻳﺖ ﭼﻬﺮﻩ ﻭ ﺩﺳﺖ ﻫﺎ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻘﺎﺑﻞ ﺑﺮ ﻧﺎﻣﺤﺮﻡ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﭘﺮﻫﻴﺰ ﺷﻮﺩ .ﻣﺮﺍﺟﻊ ﻋﻈﺎﻡ ﺗﻘﻠﻴﺪ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻫﻤﮕﻲ ﺭﻋﺎﻳﺖ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺣﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺣﺠﺎﺏ ﻓﺘﻮﺍ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ . ﻭﺟﻮﺏ ﺗﺸﻜﯿﻞ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭ ﻛﺎﺭﻛﺮﺩ ﻫﺎﯼ ﺁﻥ : -1ﺍﻫﻤﻴﺖ ﻭ ﺿﺮﻭﺭﺕ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ :ﻭ ﺍﺯ ﻧﺸﺎﻧﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﻭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺍﻧﻲ ) ﺍﺯ ﺟﻨﺲ ( ﺧﻮﺩﺗﺎﻥ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺁﻓﺮﻳﺪ ،ﺗﺎ ﻭ ﺭﺣﻤﺖ ﺑﺪﺍﻥ 1ﻫﺎ ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﻳﺎﺑﻴﺪ ؛ ﻭﺩﺭ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﻲ ﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﺩﺍﺩ ،ﻗﻄﻌﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﻧﺸﺎﻧﻪ ﻫﺎﻳﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﮔﺮﻭﻫﻲ َﺎ ( َﻴﻬ ِﻟٌﻮﺍ ﺇ ٌﻨَﺴﻜ ِﺘ ﻛﻪ ﺗﻔﻜﺮ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻨﺪ .ﺍﻳﻦ ﺁﻳﻪ ﺑﺎ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺕ )ﻟ ،ﻫﺪﻑ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺭﺍ ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﻭ ﺗﺴﻜﻴﻦ ﺭﻭﺍﻥ ﺁﺩﻣﻲ ﺑﻴﺎﻥ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ،ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻬﺮ ﻭ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻦ ﺷﺮﻳﻚ ﻭ ﻫﻤﺮﺍﻩ ﺩﺭ ﺍﺯ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺍﻧﮕﻴﺰﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ -2ﻛﺎﺭﻛﺮﺩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ :ﺩﺭ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻧﻬﺎ ﻧﺰﺩﻳﻚ ﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﺭﺍﺑﻄﻪ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﻣﻴﺎﻥ ﺯﻥ ﻭ ﺷﻮﻫﺮ ﺑﺮﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻮﺩ ﻭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺭﺍﺑﻄﻪ ﺩﺭ ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﻧﮕﺮﺍﻧﻲ ﻫﺎ ،ﺍﺿﻄﺮﺍﺏ ﻩ ﻭ ﺁﺷﻔﺘﮕﻲ ﻫﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﻣﻮﺛﺮ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ .ﺷﻬﻴﺪ ﻣﻄﻬﺮﻱ ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﺪ :ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﻭﻟﻴﻦ ﻣﺮﺣﻠﻪ ﺧﺮﻭﺝ ﺍﺯ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺗﻮﺳﻌﻪ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﺮﺩﻥ ﺧﻮﺩ ﻃﺒﻴﻌﻲ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ .ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﻣﻲ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﻴﻢ ﻛﺎﺭ ﻛﻨﻴﻢ ،ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﻣﻦ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ؛ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻨﻬﺎ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ،ﺁﻥ )ﻣﻦ( ﺗﺒﺪﻳﻞ ﺑﻪ ) ﻣﺎ ( ﻃﻮﺭﻱ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺳﺮﻧﻮﺷﺖ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻋﻼﻗﻪ ﻣﻨﺪﺗﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺗﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺁﺳﺎﻳﺶ ﺷﺨﺺ ﺧﻮﺩﺵ ﻭ ﺭﻧﺞ ﻣﻴﺒﺮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺳﺮﻧﻮﺷﺖ .ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻳﻚ ﺩﺭﺟﻪ ﺍﺯ ) ﺧﻮﺩ ( ﺍﺳﺖ ).ﻣﻄﻬﺮﻱ، ﺑﺎﺷﻨﺪ ﺗﻌﻠﻴﻢ ﻭ ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺖ ﺩﺭ ﺍﺳﻼﻡ ،ﺹ.(168 ﭘﯿﺎﻣﺪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﺜﺒﺖ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ : -1ﻛﺎﻣﻞ ﺷﺪﻥ ﺍﻳﻤﺎﻥ ؛ ﭼﺮﺍ ﻛﻪ ﻳﻜﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺩﺭﻭﺍﺯﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻭﺭﻭﺩ ﻏﺮﻳﺰﻩ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺷﻴﻄﺎﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺫﻫﻦ ﻭ ﺭﻭﺍﻥ ﺁﺩﻣﻲ ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺒﺮ ﺍﻛﺮﻡ )ﺹ( ﺳﺒﺐ ﺗﺴﻜﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ . ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ :ﻫﺮ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻏﺎﺯ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺷﻴﻄﺎﻥ ﻓﺮﻳﺎﺩ ﺑﺮ ﻣﻲ ﺁﻭﺭﺩ :ﺍﻱ ﻭﺍﻱ ،ﺍﻱ ﻭﺍﻱ ﺩﻭ ﻣﻦ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻣﺎﻥ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ .ﺳﭙﺲ ﺳﻮﻡ ﺩﻳﻦ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺩﺳﺘﺒﺮﺩ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺑﻨﺪﻩ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺩﺭ ﻳﻚ ﺳﻮﻡ ﺑﺎﻗﻲ ﻣﺎﻧﺪﻩ ﺗﻘﻮﺍﻱ ﺍﻟﻬﻲ ﭘﻴﺸﻪ ﻛﻨﺪ . ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺳﺘﻘﻼﻝ -2ﺍﺯ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺗﺤﻮﻻﺕ ﺩﻭﺭﺍﻥ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭ ﺗﺠﺮﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﻱ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺟﻮﺍﻥ ﺁﻧﺮﺍ ﻭ ﺭﺷﺪ ﻭ ﺗﻮﺳﻌﻪ ﻣﻲ ﺩﻫﺪ . ﺑﻨﺎ ﻣﻲ ﻧﻬﺪ ﻛﻮﺩﻛﻲ ﻭ ﻧﻮﺟﻮﺍﻧﻲ ،ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﺗﻤﺎﻳﻞ -3ﺑﺎ ﮔﺬﺭ ﺍﺯ ﺩﻭﺭﺍﻥ ﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ ﻋﻼﻭﻩ ﺑﺮ ﻣﺴﺘﻘﻞ ﺷﺪﻥ ،ﺗﺠﺮﺑﻪ ﻣﺪﻳﺮﻳﺖ ﻣﺠﻤﻮﻋﻪ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﻱ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﻧﺪ . ﺑﻪ ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺧﻮﻳﺶ ﺍﺯ ﺣﻤﺎﻳﺖ -4ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺗﺎ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﺎﺩﻱ ﻭ ﻏﻴﺮ ﻣﺎﺩﻱ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭ ﺑﺴﺘﮕﺎﻥ ﺧﻮﻳﺶ ﺑﻬﺮﻩ ﻣﻨﺪ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺧﺎﺻﻲ ﺑﻪ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻣﻲ ﺑﺨﺸﺪ . -5ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﻋﺘﺒﺎﺭ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ ﺳﺒﺐ ﻣﻲ -6ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻭ ﺳﭙﺲ ﺗﺠﺮﺑﻪ ﺷﻴﺮﻳﻦ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻳﺎ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺷﺪﻥ ﺑﺎ ﮔﺬﺭ ﺯﻣﺎﻥ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺭﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻓﻮﻝ ﻧﺒﻴﻨﺪ ﺷﻮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﻛﻪ ؛ ﺑﻠﻜﻪ ﺗﺪﺍﻭﻡ ﺣﻴﺎﺕ ﺧﻮﻳﺶ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﺒﻴﻨﺪ ﺣﺎﺻﻞ ﺩﺳﺘﺮﻧﺞ ﻣﺎﺩﻱ ﻳﺎ ﻣﻌﻨﻮﻱ ﺍﻭﺳﺖ . -7ﺩﺭ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺎﺕ ﺑﻪ ﺁﺛﺎﺭ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﺷﺎﺭﺍﺗﻲ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ ؛ﺍﺯ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ )ﻉ( ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ :ﺛﻤﺮﻩ ﺧﻠﻘﺖ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﺍﻧﺲ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻦ ﺑﺎ ﻭﻱ ،ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﻳﺎﻓﺘﻦ ﺑﻪ ﻭﺍﺳﻄﻪ ﺍﻭ ،ﺑﺮﺁﻭﺭﺩﻩ ﺷﺪﻥ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﻭ ﻛﺴﺐ ﺟﺎﻳﮕﺎﻩ ﺍﺭﺯﺷﻤﻨﺪ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻳﺎ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺷﺪﻥ ﺫﻛﺮ ﻛﺮﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ ).ﺣﺮ ﻋﺎﻣﻠﻲ ،ﺝ 20ﺹ(351 ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﺎﯾﺴﺘﻪ : ﻣﻌﯿﺎﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﮔﺰﯾﻨﻲ : ﺍﻟﻒ ( -1ﻫﻤﺘﺎﻳﻲ ﻭ ﻣﺎﻧﻨﺪﻱ . -2ﺧﻮﺵ ﺍﺧﻼﻗﻲ . -3ﺗﻘﻮﺍ ﻭ ﭘﺮﻫﻴﺰﮐﺎﺭﯼ -4ﺳﻼﻣﺖ . ﺏ ( ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺕ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﻧﺨﺎﺏ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﺎﯾﺴﺘﻪ : -1ﺧﻮﺩ ﺷﻨﺎﺳﻲ ﻣﻘﺪﻣﻪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﮔﺰﻳﻨﻲ . -2ﺭﺍﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺷﻨﺎﺧﺖ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ : -ﮔﻔﺘﮕﻮ ﺑﺎ ﻃﺮﺡ ﺳﻮﺍﻻﺕ ﺩﻗﻴﻖ . -ﺩﻗﺖ ﺩﺭ ﮔﻔﺘﺎﺭ ﻭ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭ . -ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﺍﺯ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺻﻤﻴﻤﻲ ،ﺑﺴﺘﮕﺎﻥ ،ﻫﻤﻜﺎﺭﺍﻥ ﻭ ﻣﻌﺮﻓﺎﻥ . -ﻣﺸﻮﺭﺕ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﺁﮔﺎﻩ ،ﺩﻟﺴﻮﺯ ﻭ ﻣﻄﻤﺌﻦ . -ﺗﻮﻛﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ . ﺳﻮﺍﻻﺗﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺷﻨﺎﺧﺖ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ :ﻭﻳﮋﮔﻲ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺧﻼﻗﻲ ﺑﺎﺭﺯ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻭ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭﻱ ﭼﻴﺴﺖ ؟ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﻛﺪﺍﻡ ﺧﺼﻮﺻﻴﺖ ﺍﺧﻼﻗﻲ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻨﺎﺳﻨﺪ ؟ ﺍﺯ ﻣﻌﺎﺷﺮﺕ ﺑﺎ ﭼﻪ ﻛﺴﻲ ﺁﺯﺭﺩﻩ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻮﻳﺪ ؟ﻋﻜﺲ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻘﺎﺑﻞ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ ﻛﻪ ﺍﺯ ﻭﻱ ﺭﻧﺠﻴﺪﻩ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﻳﺪ ،ﭼﻴﺴﺖ ؟ ﻧﺎﺭﺍﺣﺘﻲ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﭼﮕﻮﻧﻪ ﻧﺸﺎﻥ ﻣﻴﺪﻫﻴﺪ؟ ﺩﺭ ﭼﻪ ﻣﺴﺎﺋﻠﻲ ﺳﺨﺖ ﮔﻴﺮ ﻫﺴﺘﻴﺪ ؟ ﭼﻪ ﻣﺴﺎﺋﻠﻲ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺁﺯﺭﺩﻩ ﺧﺎﻃﺮ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ؟ ﺁﻳﺎ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺍﺭﻳﺪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺗﻌﺼﺐ ﺧﺎﺻﻲ ﺩﺍﺭﻳﺪ ؟ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺧﺼﻮﺻﻴﺘﻲ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻴﺪ ﭼﻴﺴﺖ ؟ ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺧﺼﻮﺻﻴﺘﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻲ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﻴﺪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻧﺪﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﭼﻴﺴﺖ ؟ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺼﻮﺻﻴﺎﺕ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ ﻳﺎ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﮔﻲ ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻋﻼﻭﻩ ﺑﺮ ،ﺍﺯ ﻋﻼﻳﻖ ﻭ ﺣﺴﺎﺳﻴﺖ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺧﺎﺹ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺷﻨﺎﺧﺖ ﺣﺎﺻﻞ ﺷﻮﺩ . ﺗﺴﻬﯿﻞ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺩﺭ ﺭﻭﯾﺎﺭﻭﯾﯽ ﺑﺎ ﻣﻮﺍﻧﻊ ﻣﺨﺘﻠﻒ : ﺍﻟﻒ( ﺍﺷﺘﻐﺎﻝ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺤﺼﯿﻞ . ﻳﮑﯽ ﺍﺯ ﻣﻮﺍﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﺷﺘﻐﺎﻝ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻞ ﻭ ﭘﮋﻭﻫﺶ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺟﻬﺖ ﺗﺴﻬﻴﻞ ﻭ ﻣﻘﺎﺑﻠﻪ ﮐﺮﺩﻥ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ،ﻣﻮﺍﺭﺩ ﺯﻳﺰ ﺗﻮﺻﻴﻪ ﻣﯽ ﺷﻮﺩ: -1ﻓﺎﺻﻠﻪ ﻣﻴﺎﻥ ﻋﻘﺪ ﺗﺎ ﻋﺮﻭﺳﻲ ﻛﻤﻲ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ :ﻳﻌﻨﯽ ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺷﺮﻭﻉ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺎ ﻣﻘﺎﻃﻊ ﺣﺴﺎﺱ ﺗﻜﻤﻴﻠﻲ ﻣﺎﻧﻨﺪ؛ ﻛﻨﻜﻮﺭ، ﺍﻣﺘﺤﺎﻧﺎﺕ ،ﺩﻓﺎﻉ ﻭ ﺍﺭﺍﺋﻪ ﭘﺮﻭﮊﻩ ﻭ ،...ﻫﻤﺰﻣﺎﻥ ﻧﺒﺎﺷﺪ. ﺍﻳﻦ ﺗﺪﺍﺧﻠﻬﺎ ﺑﻪ ﮐﺎﺭ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺯﻳﺎﻥ ﻭﺍﺭﺩ ﻣﯽ ﮐﻨﻨﺪ. -2ﻣﺮﺍﺳﻢ ﻋﺮﻭﺳﻲ ﭘﺲ ﺍﺯ ﮔﺬﺷﺘﻦ ﻳﻚ ﻳﺎ ﺩﻭ ﺗﺮﻡ ﺑﺮﮔﺰﺍﺭ ﺷﻮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﻭ ﺍﻣﻜﺎﻥ ﺗﺮﻙ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻞ ﭘﺎﻳﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻠﻲ ﻣﺤﻜﻢ ﺗﺮ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﻛﻤﺘﺮ ﺷﻮﺩ . -3ﻋﺮﻭﺱ ﻭ ﺩﺍﻣﺎﺩ ﺑﺎ ﺩﻟﮕﺮﻣﻲ ﻭ ﺍﻣﻴﺪ ،ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭ ﻣﺴﻴﺮ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻞ ﻋﻠﻢ ﻳﺎﺭﻱ ﺩﻫﻨﺪ ﺗﺎ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻮﻓﻘﻴﺖ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﺩﺳﺖ ﻳﺎﺑﻨﺪ ﻭ ﻟﺬﺍ ﺑﻪ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﺧﺎﻃﺮ ،ﺑﺮﺧﯽ ﺍﺯ ﺻﺎﺣﺐ ﻧﻈﺮﺍﻥ ،ﺗﻮﺍﺯﻥ ﻭ ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻋﻠﻤﯽ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﻣﺼﺎﺩﻳﻖ ﻫﻤﮑﻔﻮ ﺑﻮﺩﻥ ﺯﻭﺟﻴﻦ ﻣﻄﺮﺡ ﻣﯽ ﮐﻨﻨﺪ. -4ﺑﺎ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺖ ﻣﻲ ﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﻓﻜﺮﻱ ﻭ ﺭﻭﺣﻲ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﺩ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﻣﺴﺎﺋﻞ ﺁﻣﻮﺯﺷﻲ ﻭ ﭘﮋﻭﻫﺸﻲ ﭘﻴﺸﺮﻓﺖ ﻛﺮﺩ.ﺣﻀﺮﺕ َﻊ ََﻨَﻦ ﻗ ﺍﻣﻴﺮﺍﻟﻤﺆﻣﻨﻴﻦ)ﻉ( ﺩﺭ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺖ ﻣﯽ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻳﻨﺪ :ﻣ َ«؛ ﻫﺮﮐﻪ ﻗﺎﻧﻊ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﺳﻴﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ َﻊَﺒ ﺷ -5ﮔﻬﮕﺎﻫﯽ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺍﻥ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻣﻮﺭ ﺧﺎﻧﻪ ﺑﻪ ﻳﻚ ﺩﻳﮕﺮ ﻛﻤﻚ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ. -6ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ﻭ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻫﺎ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺣﻤﺎﻳﺖ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ . -7ﻛﺎﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺿﺎﻓﻲ ﻭ ﻏﻴﺮ ﺿﺮﻭﺭﻱ ،ﻣﺎﻧﻨﺪ ﻣﻬﻤﺎﻧﻲ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺯﻳﺎﺩ ﻭ ﺩﻳﺪﻥ ﺑﺮﻧﺎﻣﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺗﻠﻮﻳﺰﻳﻮﻧﻲ ﻣﺘﻨﻮﻉ ﺍﺯ ﺑﺮﻧﺎﻣﻪ ﺭﻭﺯﺍﻧﻪ ﺣﺬﻑ ﺷﻮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﺯﻣﺎﻥ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﻛﺎﺭﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﻬﻢ ﻓﺮﺍﻫﻢ ﮔﺮﺩﺩ.ﻳﻌﻨﯽ ﺩﺭ ﺣﻘﻴﻘﺖ ﺯﻣﺎﻧﻪ ﺷﻨﺎﺱ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﻭ ﻗﺪﺭ ﺁﻥ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺪﺍﻧﻨﺪ.ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺗﻬﺠﻢ ﻻ ﺑﺰﻣﺎﻧﻪ ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩﻧﺪ»:ﺍﻟﻌﺎﻟﻢ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ)ﻉ( ﺍﻟﻠﻮﺍﺑﺲ« ﻭ»ﻣﻦ ﻋﺮﻑ ﺍﻻﻳﺎﻡ ﻟﻢ ﻳﻐﻔﻞ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻌﺪﺍﺩ«؛ ﺯﻣﺎﻧﻪ ﺷﻨﺎﺳﯽ ﺁﺩﻣﯽ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯﻫﺠﻮﻡ ﺍﺷﺘﺒﺎﻫﺎﺕ ﻭﻗﺎﻳﻊ ﺣﻔﻆ ﻣﯽ ﮐﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻣﺎﺩﮔﻲ ﻭ ﺍﺳﺘﻌﺪﺍﺩ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺑﻬﺮﻩ ﮔﻴﺮﻱ ﻭ ﻣﻮﺍﺟﻬﻪ ﺑﺎ ﺁﻥ ﻏﺎﻓﻞ ﻧﻤﻲ ﮔﺬﺍﺭﺩ -8ﻣﻲ ﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﻫﻢ ﺯﻣﺎﻥ ﺑﺎ ﻫﻢ ﻳﺎ ﺯﻣﺎﻧﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻨﺰﻝ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ،ﺩﺭﺱ ﺧﻮﺍﻧﺪ؛ ﺯﻳﺮﺍ ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﺍﻭﻗﺎﺕ ،ﺩﺭﺱ ﺧﻮﺍﻧﺪﻥ ﻫﻨﮕﺎﻡ ﺣﻀﻮﺭ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ،ﻧﻮﻋﻲ ﺑﻲ ﺗﻮﺟﻬﻲ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭ ﺗﻠﻘﻲ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ.ﺍﺯ ّﺘﻬﺎﯼ ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺒﺮ ﻭ ﺍﺋﻤﻪ ﻣﻌﺼﻮﻡ) ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ( ﺍﻳﻦ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﺳﻨ ﮐﻪ ﻭﻗﺘﯽ ﺩﺭ ﺧﺎﻧﻪ ﺣﻀﻮﺭ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻨﺪ ،ﺿﻤﻦ ﮐﻤﮏ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻫﻞ ﺧﺎﻧﻪ، ﺑﺎ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺳﺨﻦ ﻣﯽ ﮔﻔﺘﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺳﺨﻦ ﻣﯽ ﺷﻨﻴﺪﻧﺪ.ﮐﻤﮏ ﺑﻪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺩﺍﺩﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭﺳﺖ.ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺒﺮ)ﺹ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩﻧﺪ» : ﺯﻥ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺩﺭ ﺧﺎﻧﻪ ﮐﻤﮏ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺧﺪﺍ ﺛﻮﺍﺏ ﻳﮏ ﻣﺮﺩﻯ ﻛﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺳﺎﻝ ﻋﺒﺎﺩﺗﯽ ﺭﺍ ﮐﻪ ﺭﻭﺯﻫﺎ ﺭﻭﺯﻩ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﻭ ﺷﺒﻬﺎ ﺑﻪ ﻗﻴﺎﻡ ﻭ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺍﻳﺴﺘﺎﺩﻩ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭ ﻣﯽﺩﻫﺪ«. ﺏ( ﺳﻄﺢ ﺗﺤﺼﯿﻼﺕ :ﺍﮔﺮ ﺳﻄﺢ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻼﺕ ﭘﺴﺮ ﭘﺎﻳﻴﻦ ﺗﺮ ﺍﺯ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﺍﻭ ﻣﻲ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﺪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺷﺎﻳﺴﺘﻪ ﺍﻱ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﺑﻪ ﺷﺮﻁ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ : -1ﻓﻬﻤﻴﺪﮔﻲ ﻭ ﭘﺨﺘﮕﻲ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﭘﺬﻳﺮﺵ ﻣﺴﺌﻮﻟﻴﺖ ﻣﺪﻳﺮﻳﺖ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . -2ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺪﺍﺭ ﺩﺍﻧﺶ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﻭ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻞ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺵ ﻧﺸﻮﺩ . -3ﺩﺍﺭﺍﻱ ﻭﻳﮋﮔﻲ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺑﺮﺗﺮﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺣﻴﺚ ﺷﻐﻞ ﻳﺎ ﺍﻃﻼﻋﺎﺕ ﻋﻤﻮﻣﻲ ﻳﺎ ...ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . ﻳﺎ ﺳﻄﺢ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﮔﻲ -4ﺯﻥ ﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﭘﺬﻳﺮﺵ ﻣﺪﻳﺮﻳﺖ ﺷﻮﻫﺮﻱ ﺑﺎ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻼﺕ ﻛﻤﺘﺮ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . ﻧﺘﻴﺠﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﯽ ﺷﻮﺩ ﮐﻪ ﺑﺎ ﺷﻨﺎﺧﺖ ﻣﺘﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﺑﮕﻴﺮﺩ. ﺝ ( ﻣﺴﺎﺋﻞ ﺍﻗﺘﺼﺎﺩﻱ : -1ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﻣﺘﻌﺎﻝ ﺗﻮﻛﻞ ﻛﺮﺩ.ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻳﻪ ۳ﺳﻮﺭﻩ ّﻞ ْ َﮐ َ َﻮ َﺘ ْ ﻳ َﻦَ ﻣ ُ ﻭ ِﺐَﺴ ْﺘَﺤ َ ﻳ ُ ﻻ ْﺚَﻴ ْ ﺣ ِﻦُ ﻣ ْﻪُﻗ ْﺯَﺮ َ ﻳ ﻃﻼﻕ ﻣﯽ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻳﺪ» :ﻭ ّﻪ ُ َ ﺍﻟﻠ َ َﻞَﻌ ْ ﺟ َﺪ ِ ﻗ ِﻩْﺮ َﻣُ ﺃ ِﻎَﺎﻟ َ ﺑ ّﻪّ ﺍﻟﻠ َ ِﻥ َ ُ ﺇ ُﻪْﺒ َﺴَ ﺣ ُﻮَﻬ ِ ﻓ ّﻪَﻰ ﺍﻟﻠ َ َﻠﻋ ًﺍ«؛ ﻭ ﻫﺮ ﻛﺲ ﺑﺮ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺗﻮﻛﻞ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺍﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﻳﺶ ْﺭَﺪ ٍ ﻗ ْﺀَﯽ ّ ﺷ ُﻞ ِ ِﮑ ﻟ ﻛﺎﻓﻰ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﻫﻤﺎﻧﺎ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﻛﺎﺭ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﻣﺤﻘﻖ ﻣﻰﺳﺎﺯﺩ. ﻫﻤﺎﻧﺎ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﺑﺮﺍﻯ ﻫﺮ ﭼﻴﺰ ﺍﻧﺪﺍﺯﻩﺍﻯ ﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ. -2ﭘﺴﺮﺍﻥ ﺿﻤﻦ ﭘﺎﻳﻴﻦ ﺁﻭﺭﺩﻥ ﺳﻄﺢ ﺗﻮﻗﻌﺎﺕ ﺷﻐﻠﻲ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﻜﻮﺷﻨﺪ ﺗﺎ ﺷﻐﻞ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﻲ ﺑﻴﺎﺑﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺭﺍﻩ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺷﺘﻐﺎﻝ ﺑﻪ ﻣﺸﺎﻏﻞ ﭘﺎﺭﻩ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻭ ﻧﻴﻤﻪ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺍﻣﺘﻨﺎﻉ ﻧﻜﻨﻨﺪ.ﺑﺎ ﺗﻼﺵ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺪﺍ ﻣﻲ ﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻳﻨﺪﻩ ﺻﺎﺣﺐ ﻣﻮﻗﻌﻴﺖ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻭ ﺗﻮﻛﻞ ﺷﻐﻠﻲ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺗﺮﻱ ﺷﺪ . -3ﺩﺧﺘﺮﺍﻥ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻫﻨﮕﺎﻡ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ ﻛﻪ ﭘﺴﺮ ، ﻗﺎﺑﻠﻴﺖ ﺗﺎﻣﻴﻦ ﺍﻣﻜﺎﻧﺎﺕ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺟﻮﻫﺮﻩ ﻛﺎﺭ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . -4ﺩﺭ ﺗﻌﻴﻴﻦ ﻣﻬﺮﻳﻪ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﻁ ﻭ ﺗﻔﺮﻳﻂ ﻧﺸﻮﺩ . ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﯽ)ﻉ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ» :ﻣﻬﺮﻳﻪﻫﺎﯼ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺭﺍ ﮔﺮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺳﻨﮕﻴﻦ ﻧﮑﻨﻴﺪ ،ﺯﻳﺮﺍ ﺳﺒﺐ ﻋﺪﺍﻭﺕ ﻭ ﮐﻴﻨﻪﺗﻮﺯﯼ ﻣﯽﺷﻮﺩ« َﻬﺮﻳﻪ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺭﺳﻮﻝ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺻﻠﯽ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ )ﻉ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ» :ﻣ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭ ﺁﻟﻪ ﺩﻭﺍﺯﺩﻩ »ﺍﻭﻗﻴﻪ« ﻭ ﻧﺼﻒ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﻫﺮ ﺍﻭﻗﻴﻪ، ﭼﻬﻞ ﺩﺭﻫﻢ ﺍﺭﺯﺵ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ ﻭ ﻧﺼﻒ ﺍﻭﻗﻴﻪ ،ﻣﺴﺎﻭﯼ ﺑﺎ ﺑﻴﺴﺖ ﺩﺭﻫﻢ ﺑﻮﺩ«. ﭘﻴﺎﻣﺒﺮ ﮔﺮﺍﻣﯽ ﺍﺳﻼﻡ )ﺹ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ» :ﺩﺭ ﻣﻬﺮﻳﻪ ﺁﺳﺎﻥ ﺑﮕﻴﺮﻳﺪ، ﺯﻳﺮﺍ ﻣﺮﺩ ،ﮐﺎﺑﻴﻦ )ﺳﻨﮕﻴﻦ( ﺯﻥ ﺭﺍ ﻣﯽﺩﻫﺪ ،ﺍﻣﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺩﻟﺶ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻭ ﮐﻴﻨﻪ ﻭ ﺩﺷﻤﻨﯽ ﺑﻪ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﻣﯽﺁﻳﺪ«. ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ )ﻉ( ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ» :ﺷﻮﻣﯽ ﻭ ﻧﺎﺧﺠﺴﺘﮕﯽ ﺯﻥ ،ﺯﻳﺎﺩ ﺑﻮﺩﻥ ﻣﻬﺮﻳﻪ ﺍﻭ ﻭ ﻧﺎﻓﺮﻣﺎﻧﯽ ﺍﺯ ﺷﻮﻫﺮﺵ ﻣﯽﺑﺎﺷﺪ«. -5ﺍﺯ ﻧﻈﺮ ﺍﺳﻼﻡ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻧﻮﻥ ،ﺗﻬﻴﻪ ﺟﻬﻴﺰﻳﻪ ﺑﻪ ﻋﻬﺪﻩ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻭ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻭﻱ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ.ﺍﻳﻦ ﺭﺳﻢ ﻏﻠﻄﯽ ﺍﺳﺖ ﮐﻪ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺭﺍ ﻣﺴﺌﻮﻝ ﺗﻬﻴﻪ ﺟﻬﻴﺰﻳﻪ ﻣﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﻨﺪ. -6ﺟﻬﻴﺰﻳﻪ ﻭ ﻣﺴﻜﻦ ،ﺷﺮﺍﻳﻄﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺁﻏﺎﺯ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻙ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺩ ( ﺧﺪﻣﺖ ﺳﺮﺑﺎﺯﻱ :ﻣﺎﻧﻌﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﺤﺴﻮﺏ ﻧﻤﻲ ﺷﻮﺩ . ﻁ ( ﻃﻼﻕ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ :ﺍﮔﺮ ﻃﻼﻕ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ ﻛﻪ : -1ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﻛﻪ ﺩﻋﻮﺍ ﻫﺎ ﻭ ﺍﺧﺘﻼﻓﺎﺕ ﺩﻭﺭ ﺍﺯ ﭼﺸﻢ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻭ . ﭘﻨﻬﺎﻧﻲ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ -2ﻋﺪﻩ ﺍﻱ ﻧﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﺧﻼﺀ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻃﻼﻕ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ ؛ ﺣﺎﻝ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ ﻣﻤﻜﻦ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺧﻼﺀ ،ﺑﻮﺳﻴﻠﻪ ﭘﺪﺭﺑﺰﺭﮒ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺑﺰﺭﮒ ﺟﺒﺮﺍﻥ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . ؛ -3ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻧﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺖ ﻧﺎﺻﺤﻴﺢ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻃﻼﻕ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ ﺣﺎﻝ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ ﻛﻪ ﻧﮕﻬﺪﺍﺭﻱ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮ ﻋﻬﺪﻩ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ ،ﺑﻪ ﺧﻮﺑﻲ ﻭﻱ ﺭﺍ ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺖ ﻛﺮﺩﻩ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . -4ﺩﺭ ﺑﺮﺧﻮﺭﺩ ﺑﺎ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻃﻼﻕ ﻫﻤﭽﻮﻥ ﺩﻳﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻓﺮﺁﻳﻨﺪ ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﺍﻧﺠﺎﻡ ﮔﻴﺮﺩ.ﺩﻻﻳﻞ ﻃﻼﻕ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻃﺮﻑ ﻣﻘﺎﺑﻞ ﺗﻮﺿﻴﺢ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺷﻮﺩ . -5ﺍﺯ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺍﻭ ﺩﺭﺧﻮﺍﺳﺖ ﺷﻮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺟﻠﺴﻪ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﮕﺎﺭﻱ ﺣﻀﻮﺭ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻨﺪ . -6ﺍﺯ ﻣﺸﻮﺭﺕ ﻭ ﻛﻤﻚ ﻧﺎﻣﺎﺩﺭﻱ ﻳﺎ ﻧﺎﭘﺪﺭﻱ ﺍﺳﺘﻔﺎﺩﻩ ﺷﻮﺩ . ﻅ ( ﺍﻋﺘﯿﺎﺩ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﯾﻦ ﯾﺎ ﺳﻮﺀ ﺳﺎﺑﻘﻪ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ :ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ؛ ﺍﻣﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺯﻣﻴﻨﻪ ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺭﺳﻲ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺯﻧﮕﻲ ( ﺳﻦ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ :ﺍﮔﺮ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻭ ﭘﺴﺮ ﺭﺷﺪ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﻲ ﯼ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻙ ﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ ﻧﺒﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺁﻧﺎﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺎﺧﻴﺮ ﺑﻴﺎﻓﺘﺪ . ﺍﺯ ﺗﻤﺎﻡ ﺗﺎ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﺳﺒﺐ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻭﺍﻳﻞ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﻧﻌﻤﺖ ﻫﺎ ﻭ ﺑﺮﻛﺎﺗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ﺯﻭﺩﺗﺮ ﺑﻬﺮﻩ ﻣﻨﺪ ﺷﻮﻧﺪ ﻭ ﭘﻴﺶ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﻗﺎﻟﺐ ﺣﻜﻤﻲ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺩﺭ ﻛﻨﺎﺭ ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﺭﺷﺪ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ . ﻧﻜﺎﺗﻲ ﺩﺭ ﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺎ ﺗﻔﺎﻭﺕ ﺳﻨﻲ ﻣﻌﻜﻮﺱ : -ﺍﮔﺮ ﺩﺭ ﺷﺮﺍﻳﻄﻲ ﺳﻦ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﻻﺗﺮ ﺑﻮﺩ ،ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺯﻣﻴﻨﻪ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﺍﻥ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺑﻪ ﻧﻜﺎﺕ ﺯﻳﺮ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ. .1ﻣﺮﺍﻗﺐ ﺁﺛﺎﺭ ﮔﺬﺷﺖ ﺯﻣﺎﻥ ﺑﺮ ﺭﻭﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺟﺴﻢ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﺎﺷﻴﺪ ﻭ ﺍﺯ ) ﻫﻤﭽﻮﻥ ﺣﺴﺎﺳﻴﺖ ﺯﻳﺎﺩ ﻋﻮﺍﻣﻠﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺭﺍ ﻓﺮﺳﻮﺩﻩ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ﻧﺴﺒﺖ ﺑﻪ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻧﺸﺎﻁ ﺭﻭﺍﻧﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺑﻴﻦ ﻣﻴﺒﺮﺩ (ﻳﺎ ﺁﻧﭽﻪ ﺳﺒﺐ ﺑﻪ ﻫﻢ ﺧﻮﺭﺩﻥ ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺍﻧﺪﺍﻡ ﻳﺎ ﺍﺯ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺭﻓﺘﻦ ﻃﺮﺍﻭﺕ ﭘﻮﺳﺖ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻮﺩﺑﭙﺮﻫﻴﺰﻳﺪ ﻭ ﺑﻜﻮﺷﻴﺪ ﺑﺎ ﻭﺭﺯﺵ ﻭ ﻻﺯﻡ ،ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺟﻮﺍﻥ ﺗﺮ ﻧﮕﻪ ﺩﺍﺭﻳﺪ . ﻣﺮﺍﻗﺒﺖ ﻫﺎﻱ .2ﺑﻪ ﻋﻼﻗﻪ ﻫﺎ ﻭ ﺳﻠﻴﻘﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﺘﺮﺗﺎﻥ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﻛﻨﻴﺪ ﻭ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺎ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺗﻨﻈﻴﻢ ﻛﻨﻴﺪ . .3ﺩﺭ ﺳﻨﻴﻦ ﺑﺎﻻ ﺗﺮ ﻣﻴﻞ ﺟﻨﺴﻲ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻛﺎﻫﺶ ﻣﻴﺎﺑﺪ ،ﭘﺲ ﺑﻪ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻏﺮﻳﺰﻱ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺗﺎﻥ ﻧﻮﺟﻪ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻴﺪ. ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﻫﺸﺘﻢ ( ﺑﯿﻤﺎﺭﻱ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﯾﻦ :ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻛﺴﻲ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻳﺎ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﻳﺎ ﻫﺮﺩﻭ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﻣﺠﺒﻮﺭ ﺑﻪ ﻧﮕﻬﺪﺍﺭﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺑﻴﻤﺎﺭﻱ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﻧﺒﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺎﺧﻴﺮ ﺑﻴﺎﻧﺪﺍﺯﺩ ،ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﻓﺮﺻﺖ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺑﺪﻫﺪ ،ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺍﺯ ﺗﺎﺧﻴﺮ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺁﺯﺭﺩﻩ ﺧﺎﻃﺮ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﻧﺪ ،ﭘﺲ ﻣﻴﺘﻮﺍﻥ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﺴﺌﻮﻟﻴﺖ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﺗﻘﺴﻴﻢ ﻛﺮﺩ ﻭ ﻳﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﺍﻣﻜﺎﻥ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﭘﺮﺳﺘﺎﺭ ﮔﺮﻓﺖ . ﻧﻬﻢ ( ﺳﺨﺖ ﮔﯿﺮﻱ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻌﯿﺎﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻇﺎﻫﺮﻱ : ﻧﺒﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﻧﺘﻈﺎﺭ ﺑﺎﻻ ﺍﺯ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺭﺍ ﻣﺎﻧﻌﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺧﻮﺩ ﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﺩﺍﺩ ﭼﻮﻥ : .1ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻛﺎﻣﻞ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ،ﭘﺲ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺳﻄﺢ ﺗﻮﻗﻊ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﻧﺴﺒﺖ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺗﻌﺪﻳﻞ ﻛﺮﺩ . .2ﺟﻠﻮﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻓﺮﺍﻭﺍﻧﻲ ﺩﺭ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻭ ﻋﻘﻞ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮ ﻫﻮﺱ ﺣﺎﻛﻢ ﺳﺎﺧﺖ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺭﺍ ﻛﺸﻒ ﻛﺮﺩ ﺳﻮﺭﻩ ﻧﺴﺎﺀ ﺁﻳﻪ 19ﻣﻴﻔﺮﻣﺎﻳﺪ » :ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺯﻧﺎﻧﺘﺎﻥ ﺩﻟﭙﺴﻨﺪ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻧﺒﺎﺷﺪ؛ ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﭼﻴﺰﻱ ﻧﺎﭘﺴﻨﺪ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﺩﺭ ﺣﺎﻟﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﺧﻴﺮ ﻓﺮﺍﻭﺍﻧﻲ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻥ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻗﺮﺍﺭ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ« . .3ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﭘﺲ ﺍﺯ ﻣﺪﺗﻲ ﻋﺎﺩﻱ ﻣﻲ ﺷﻮﺩ ﻭ ﺁﻧﭽﻪ ﻣﻬﻢ ﺟﻠﻮﻩ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ . .4ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﺍﻣﺮﻱ ﺷﺪﻧﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﻓﺮﺩﻱ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ،ﺑﺎ ﺁﺭﺍﻳﺶ ،ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻭ ...ﺯﻳﺒﺎ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺷﺪ.ﻫﻤﺎﻧﮕﻮﻧﻪ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﺯﻳﺒﺎ ﺭﻭﻳﺎﻥ ،ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻭﺍﻗﻌﻲ ﻧﺪﺍﺭﻧﺪ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﺤﻮ ﭘﻴﺮﺍﻳﻪ ﻫﺎ ﻭ ﺁﺭﺍﻳﺶ ﻫﺎ ﻫﺮﮔﺰ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﭘﺴﻨﺪ ﻧﺨﻮﺍﻫﻨﺪ ﺑﻮﺩ . .5ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﺍﻣﺮﻱ ﺗﺮﻛﻴﺒﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ .ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﻴﺎﺭ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﺍﻥ ﺧﻮﺵ ﺳﺨﻦ ﻭ ﺧﻮﺵ ﺍﺧﻼﻕ ﻭ ﭘﺴﺮﺍﻥ ﻣﻬﺮﺑﺎﻥ ﻭ ﻓﻬﻤﻴﺪﻩ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻧﺪﻛﻲ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻙ ،ﺩﺭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﻫﺴﺮ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺯﻳﺒﺎ ﺟﻠﻮﻩ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﻨﺪ ﻛﺮﺩ. .6ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻧﺴﺒﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﻱ ﺩﺭ ﭼﺸﻢ ﭘﺴﺮﻱ ﺯﻳﺒﺎ ﺟﻠﻮﻩ ﻛﻨﺪ ،ﺣﺎﻝ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺁﻥ ﭘﺴﺮ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﻧﻤﻴﭙﺴﻨﺪﺩ. .7ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﺯﻳﺎﺩ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻳﺎ ﭘﺴﺮﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺍﻧﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻏﻴﺮﺕ ﻭ ﺣﺴﺎﺳﻴﺖ ﺯﻳﺎﺩﻱ ﻧﺴﺒﺖ ﺑﻪ ﺑﺮﺧﻮﺭﺩ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﺑﺎ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺍﻧﺸﺎﻥ ﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ، ﮔﺮﻓﺘﺎﺭﻱ ﺍﻳﺠﺎﺩ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﻛﺮﺩ.ﻫﻢ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺩﺍﺋﻤﺎ ﻧﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﻫﻢ ﺯﻥ ﻭ ﻣﺮﺩ ﺑﺎ ﻣﺤﺪﻭﺩﻳﺖ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺭﻧﺞ ﺁﻓﺮﻳﻦ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻣﻮﺍﺟﻪ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﻓﺨﺮ ﻓﺮﻭﺷﻲ ﺍﻭ .8ﮔﺎﻫﻲ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﻲ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺳﺒﺐ ﻏﺮﻭﺭ ،ﺗﻜﺒﺮ ﻭ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻙ ﺭﺍ ﺗﻠﺦ ﻣﻲ ﻛﻨﺪ. ﺩﻫﻢ ( ﺑﺎﻭﺭ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺍﺷﺘﺒﺎﻩ : ﺍﻟﻒ( ﺗﺮﺱ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ : ،.1ﺍﺯ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺩﻥ ﺑﺮﺧﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺁﺯﺍﺩﻱ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺩﻭﺭﺍﻥ ﻣﺠﺮﺩﻱ ﺑﻬﺎﻱ ﺭﺷﺪ ﻭ ﺁﺭﺍﻣﺶ ﮔﺮﺍﻧﺒﻬﺎﻳﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺩﻭﺭﺍﻥ ﺗﺎﻫﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﻣﻲ ﺁﻳﺪ . .2ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﻳﻨﻜﻪ ﺣﺲ ﻋﺪﻡ ﺁﺯﺍﺩﻱ ﺑﻮﺟﻮﺩ ﻧﻴﺎﻳﻴﺪ ،ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻃﺮﺡ ﺩﺭ ﻧﻈﺮ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ ﺷﻮﺩ ؛ ﺗﺎﺯﻩ ﺍﻱ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﺑﺎ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺏ( ﺗﺮﺱ ﺍﺯ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ : .1ﻳﺎﺩﺁﻭﺭﻱ ﺳﺎﺑﻘﻪ ﭘﻴﺮﻭﺯﻱ ﺑﺮ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ . .2ﻣﺸﻮﺭﺕ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﻣﻮﻓﻖ ﺩﺭ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ . .3ﺩﺭ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﺷﺮﻳﻚ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﺎﻳﻲ ﻭﻱ ﺩﺭ ﺣﻞ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﻭ ﺗﻼﺵ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﻣﺒﺎﺭﺯﻩ ﺑﺎ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺩﻗﺖ ﺷﻮﺩ. ﺗﻤﺎﻡ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺷﺪ . .4ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﻭ ﺳﺨﺘﻲ ﻫﺎ ﺑﺎ ﻧﺎﻡ ﻭ ﻳﺎﺩ ﺧﺪﺍ ﭖ( ﻣﻘﺎﯾﺴﻪ ﺑﺎ ﺩﯾﮕﺮﺍﻥ :ﺭﺍﺯ ﻳﻚ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﺻﺤﻴﺢ ،ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺯﻥ ﻭ ﻣﺮﺩ ﺑﺎ ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﻧﻪ ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺑﺎ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﻭ ﺁﺷﻨﺎﻳﺎﻥ .ﻣﻘﺎﻳﺴﻪ ﺍﺭﺯﺷﻤﻨﺪ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﯽ ﺩﺭ ﺷﻴﻄﺎﻥ ﻧﻔﻮﺫ ﺭﺍﻫﻬﺎﯼ ﺍﺯ ﻳﮑﯽ ﮐﺮﺩﻥ، ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﮔﯽ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﻣﻘﺎﻳﺴﻪ ﮐﺮﺩﻥ ﺩﺭ ﻧﻈﺎﻡ ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺘﯽ ،ﺁﻓﺘﯽ ﺍﺳﺖ ﮐﻪ ﺟﺒﺮﺍﻥ ﮐﺮﺩﻧﺶ ﺩﺷﻮﺍﺭ ﺍﺳﺖ. ﺕ( ﺗﺎﻛﯿﺪ ﺑﺮ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﺘﺮ : .1ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﻛﻮﭼﻜﺘﺮ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺯ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﻪ ﻧﺤﻮﻱ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﺑﮕﻴﺮﺩ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻮﺟﺐ ﺳﺮﺷﻜﺴﺘﮕﻲ ﻭ ﺍﻓﺴﺮﺩﮔﻲ ﻭﻱ ﻧﺸﻮﺩ . .2ﻣﻮﺍﻓﻘﺖ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﻛﻮﭼﻜﺘﺮ ﺟﻠﺐ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪ . .3ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ﻋﻠﺖ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﻣﺮ ﺭﺍ ﻭﺍﺿﺢ ﻭ ﻣﺴﺘﺪﻝ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺑﺴﺘﮕﺎﻥ ﻭ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺑﻴﺎﻥ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ . .4ﻋﺰﺕ ﻭ ﺍﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﺘﺮ ﺣﻔﻆ ﺷﻮﺩ. .5ﺑﺎ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﺘﺮ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮ ﻛﻮﭼﻜﺘﺮ ﻣﺸﻮﺭﺕ ﺷﻮﺩ . ﯾﺎﺯﺩﻫﻤﯿﻦ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ( ﺍﺧﺘﻼﻑ ﻧﻈﺮ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺳﯿﺎﺳﻲ : ﺍﺧﺘﻼﻑ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﺪﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺳﻴﺎﺳﻲ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ،ﺍﮔﺮ : .1ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﻭ ﭘﺴﺮ ﺩﺭ ﻛﻠﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻋﺘﻘﺎﺩﺍﺕ ﺳﻴﺎﺳﻲ ﺑﺎ ﻫﻢ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻒ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﺗﻀﺎﺩ ﻧﺒﺎﺷﻨﺪ . .2ﻫﺮ ﺩﻭ ﻳﺎ ﻳﻜﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺗﻌﺼﺐ ﺳﻴﺎﺳﻲ ﻧﺪﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻨﺪ . .3ﺩﻳﺪﮔﺎﻩ ﺳﻴﺎﺳﻲ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺎ ﻣﺴﺎﺋﻞ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﺩﺭ ﻧﻴﺎﻣﻴﺰﻧﺪ . ﺩﻭﺍﺯﺩﻩ ( ﺗﻔﺎﻭﺕ ﻓﺮﻫﻨﮕﻲ : ﺗﻔﺎﻭﺕ ﻫﺎﯼ ﻓﺮﻫﻨﮕﯽ ﺍﺯ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﻣﻮﺍﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﺤﺴﻮﺏ ﻣﯽ ﺷﻮﺩ ،ﺑﺎ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺩﺭ ﭼﻪ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﯽ ﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮﻃﺮﻑ ﮐﺮﺩ؟ ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺗﯽ ﮐﻪ : -1ﻓﺮﺩ ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻗﺪﺭﺕ ﺍﻧﻄﺒﺎﻕ ﺑﺎ ﺷﺮﺍﻳﻂ ﺟﺪﻳﺪ ﻭ ﻣﺘﻔﺎﻭﺕ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﻲ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﺪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺭﺍ ﺑﭙﺬﻳﺮﺩ. -2ﻓﺮﺩ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺎ ﻓﺮﻫﻨﮓ ﻭ ﺁﺩﺍﺏ ﻭ ﺭﺳﻮﻡ ﻃﺮﻑ ﻣﻘﺎﺑﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺧﻮﺑﻲ ﺁﺷﻨﺎ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ. -3ﺍﮔﺮ ﺳﻄﺢ ﻓﺮﻫﻨﮕﻲ ﺑﺴﻴﺎﺭ ﺑﺎﻻ ﺑﻮﺩ ،ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﭼﻨﺪﺍﻥ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ. ﺳﯿﺰﺩﻩ ( ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺎ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪ ﺗﻚ ﺳﺮﭘﺮﺳﺖ : ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪ ﺗﮑﺴﺮﭘﺮﺳﺖ ﭼﻪ ﭘﺴﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﻭ ﭼﻪ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ،ﻭﻳﮋﮔﯽ ﻫﺎﯼ ﺧﺎﺹ ﺧﻮﺩﺵ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ؛ ﭼﺮﺍﮐﻪ ﻳﮑﯽ ﺍﺯ ﺳﺮﭘﺮﺳﺘﻬﺎﯼ ﺧﻮﺩ ) ﺍﻋﻢ ﺍﺯ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻳﺎ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ( ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﺩﺭ ﭼﻨﻴﻦ ﺷﺮﺍﻳﻂ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻮﺍﺭﺩ ﺯﻳﺮ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ : -1ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻪ ﺗﻮﺟﻪ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ.ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻭﻱ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﻫﻞ ﻣﻬﺮ ﻭ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭ ﻣﺪﺍﺭﺍ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . -2ﻣﻤﻜﻦ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﻓﻘﺪﺍﻥ ﺍﻟﮕﻮﻱ ﻣﺎﺩﺭﺍﻧﻪ ﻳﺎ ﭘﺪﺭﺍﻧﻪ ، ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻣﺎﻥ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﺗﺎ ﻧﻘﺶ ﻣﺮﺩﺍﻧﻪ ﻳﺎ ﺯﻧﺎﻧﻪ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺧﻮﺑﻲ ﺍﻳﻔﺎ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﺪ ،ﭘﺲ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻭ ﻣﺪﺍﺭﺍ ﺷﻮﺩ . ﭼﻬﺎﺭﺩﻩ ( ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻔﺖ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﯾﻦ : ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﻮﺍﺟﻬﻪ ﺑﺎ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻔﺖ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ،ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﺎ ﺭﻭﺵ ﻣﻌﻘﻮﻝ ﻋﻤﻞ ﮐﺮﺩ: -1ﺩﺭﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻔﺖ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ،ﻣﻬﻤﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺭﺧﺪﺍﺩ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﺍﻭ ﺑﺪﻭﻥ ﻫﻤﺮﺍﻫﻲ ﻭ ﺗﺎﺋﻴﺪ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺣﺎﻣﻴﺎﻧﺶ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺑﻮﺩ ﻭ ﺁﻏﺎﺯ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻙ ﻫﻤﺮﺍﻩ ﺑﺎ ﺗﻨﺶ ﻭ ﺍﻇﻄﺮﺍﺏ ،ﭘﺲ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻣﻮﺍﻓﻘﺖ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺟﻠﺐ ﻛﺮﺩ. -2ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻋﻠﺖ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻔﺖ ﺭﺍ ﺟﻮﻳﺎ ﺷﻮﺩ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻻﻳﻞ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺑﻴﺎﻧﺪﻳﺸﺪ ،ﺷﺎﻳﺪ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﻣﻮﺟﻪ ﻭ ﻣﻨﻄﻘﻲ ﺍﻱ ﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ ،ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺻﻮﺭﺕ ﺍﻭ ﺩﺭ ﺗﺼﻤﻴﻢ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﺎﺯﻧﮕﺮﻱ ﻛﻨﺪ . ﺻﺮﻳﺤﺎ ﻣﺨﺎﻟﻔﺖ -3ﻓﺮﺩ ﻧﺒﺎﻳﺪ ﺑﺎ ﻋﻘﻴﺪﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻏﻴﺮ ﻣﻨﻄﻘﻲ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﻛﻨﺪ ؛ ﺑﻠﻜﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺍﺑﺘﺪﺍ ﺳﺨﻨﺎﻥ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺑﭙﺬﻳﺮﺩ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺪﺭﻳﺞ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﻪ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﻣﻄﺮﺡ ﻛﻨﺪ . -4ﺍﺯ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩﻱ ﻛﻪ ﺩﻻﻳﻞ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭﻙ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﻨﺪ ﻭ ﻣﻴﭙﺬﻳﺮﻧﺪ ﻭ ﺑﺮ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﺍﻭ ﻧﻔﻮﺫ ﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ ﺍﺳﺘﻔﺎﺩﻩ ﻛﻨﺪ ﺗﺎ ﻣﻴﺎﻧﺠﻴﮕﺮﻱ ﻛﻨﺪ .ﺑﺮ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭ ﺍﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﺮ ﺁﻧﺎﻥ ﺑﻴﺎﻓﺰﺍﻳﺪ ﺗﺎ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﻭ ﺭﺿﺎﻳﺖ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﺟﻠﺐ ﻛﻨﺪ. ﭘﺎﻧﺰﺩﻩ ( ﺳﺮﺍﻍ ﻧﺪﺍﺷﺘﻦ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ : -1ﺍﮔﺮ ﻓﺮﺩ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﻲ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻧﺸﺪ ،ﺍﺯ ﻓﺮﺩ ﺍﻣﻴﻦ ﻋﺎﻗﻞ ﺗﻮﺍﻧﻤﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺧﺼﻮﺹ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﻛﻤﻚ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ ﺷﻮﺩ -2.ﺗﻀﺮﻉ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺭﮔﺎﻩ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﻭ ﺗﻮﺳﻞ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻫﻞ ﺑﻴﺖ )ﻉ( ،ﻧﻴﺰ ﻛﻠﻴﺪ ﺣﻞ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﺸﻜﻞ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﺗﻮﺻﻴﻪ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺗﺴﻬﻴﻞ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻭ ﻳﺎﻓﺘﻦ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ّﻨﺎ َﺑ َ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ،ﺁﻳﻪ 74ﺳﻮﻩ ﻓﺮﻗﺎﻥ ﺩﺭ ﻗﻨﻮﺕ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺧﻮﺍﻧﺪﻩ ﺷﻮﺩ »...ﺭ ّﻘﯿﻦ َ ُﺘ َْﻤِﻠ ْﻨﺎ ﻟ َﻠْﻌ َ ﺍﺟ ٍ ﻭ ُﻦْﯿ َﻋَ ﺃ ّﺓُﺮ َ ِﻨﺎ ﻗ ّﺎﺗ ّﯾ َ ُﺭ ِ َ ﺫ ِﻨﺎ ﻭ ْﻭﺍﺟ َﺯْ ﺃ ِﻦَﻨﺎ ﻣ ْ ﻟ َﺐﻫ ِﻣﺎﻣﺎ«؛ ﻭ ﮐﺴﺎﻧﯽ ﮐﻪ ﻣﯽﮔﻮﻳﻨﺪ» :ﭘﺮﻭﺭﺩﮔﺎﺭﺍ! ﺍﺯ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺇ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻧﻤﺎﻥ ﻣﺎﻳﻪ ﺭﻭﺷﻨﯽ ﭼﺸﻢ ﻣﺎ ﻗﺮﺍﺭﺩﻩ ،ﻭ ﻣﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﭘﺮﻫﻴﺰﮔﺎﺭﺍﻥ ﭘﻴﺸﻮﺍ ﮔﺮﺩﺍﻥ!« ﻫﻤﭽﻨﻴﻦ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺩﻋﺎ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭ ﻗﻨﻮﺕ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ َ«؛ ﺧﺪﺍﻳﺎ ِﻚَﺘ ٍ ﻓﻲ ﻃﺎﻋ َﻮﻥ ِ ﻋ َﯿﺮ ٍ ﺧ ِﺢَ ﺻﺎﻟ َﻌﻞ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻧﺪ» :ﺍﻟﻠﻬﻢ ﺍﺭﺯﻗﻨﺎ ﺑ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺻﺎﻟﺤﻲ ﺭﻭﺯﻳﻢ ﻛﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﻳﺎﺭﻳﮕﺮ ﺩﺭ ﺭﺍﻩ ﺍﻃﺎﻋﺖ ﺍﺯ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ. -3ﺍﻗﺎﻣﻪ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻧﻘﻞ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺟﻮﺍﻧﯽ ﻧﺰﺩ ﺷﻴﺦ ﺣﺴﻨﻌﻠﯽ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽﺍﺻﻔﻬﺎﻧﯽ 1ﺁﻣﺪ ﻭ ﮔﻔﺖ: »ﺳﻪ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺩﺭ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﯽﺍﻡ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ﻭ ﺳﻪ ﻛﻠﻴﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻣﯽﺧﻮﺍﻫﻢ! ﻗﻔﻞ ﺍﻭﻝ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ ﻳﻚ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺳﺎﻟﻢ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻢ، ﻗﻔﻞ ﺩﻭﻡ ﺍﻳﻨﻜﻪ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ ﻛﺎﺭﻡ ﺑﺮﻛﺖ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ﻭ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺳﻮﻡ ﺍﻳﻨﻜﻪ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ ﻋﺎﻗﺒﺖ ﺑﺨﻴﺮ ﺷﻮﻡ«. ﺷﻴﺦ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽ ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ» :ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺍﻭﻝ ،ﻧﻤﺎﺯﺕ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻥ. ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺩﻭﻡ ﻧﻤﺎﺯﺕ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺳﻮﻡ ﻫﻢ ﻧﻤﺎﺯﺕ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻥ!« ﺟﻮﺍﻥ ﻋﺮﺽ ﻛﺮﺩ» :ﺳﻪ ﻗﻔﻞ ﺑﺎ ﻳﻚ ﻛﻠﻴﺪ؟!« ﺷﻴﺦ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽ ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ :ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ »ﺷﺎﻩ ﻛﻠﻴﺪ« ﺍﺳﺖ. ﺷﮑﯽ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ﮐﻪ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﻘﺪﻣﺎﺗﯽ ﻻﺯﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﺗﺤﻘﻖ ﻣﻘﺪﻣﺎﺕ ﺑﺎﻳﺪﺍﺯ ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪ ﻣﺘﻌﺎﻝ ﻣﺪﺩ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺖ.ﺍﺋﻤﻪ ﺍﻃﻬﺎﺭ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ ﺑﺎ ﺗﻌﻠﻴﻢ ﺍﺩﻋﻴﻪ ﺍﯼ ﺭﺍﻩ ﻭ ﺭﻭﺵ ﺻﺤﻴﺢ ﺩﻋﺎ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﮐﺮﺩﻥ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺻﺤﺎﺏ ﺧﻮﺩ ﻳﺎﺩ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ ﻭ ﻋﻠﻤﺎﯼ ﺑﺰﺭﮒ ﺷﻴﻌﻪ ﮐﻼﻡ ﻧﻮﺭﺍﻧﯽ ﺁﻥ ﺑﺰﺭﮔﻮﺍﺭﺍﻥ)ﻉ( ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﻣﺎ ﺭﺳﺎﻧﺪﻩ ﺍﻧﺪ. ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻨﺠﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻭ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺖ ﺑﺴﻨﺪﻩ ﻣﯽ ﺷﻮﺩ: ﺍﺯ ﺑﺤﺎﺭﺍﻻﻧﻮﺍﺭ،ﺝ،100ﺹ267 ﺷﺮﻳﻒ ﮐﺘﺎﺏ ﺩﺭ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺖ ﺍﻭﻟﻴﻦ ﺍﻣﻴﺮﺍﻟﻤﻮﻣﻨﻴﻦ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ ﻧﻘﻞ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ. َﺃ ْْﺮَﻘ ْﯿَ ﻟ ِ ﻭ ْﻦَﯿ َﺘْﻌ َﻛّ ﺭ َﻞ ِ ُﺼ ْﯿَﻠ َ ﻓ ِﯾﺞ ْﻭّﺰ ُ ﺍﻟﺘ َ ُﻢْﻜ ِﻨَ ﻣ َﺍﺩ َﺭْ ﺃ َﻦّ ﻉ ﻣ ِﻲ ٌ َﻠ َ ﻋ َﺎﻝ ﻗ َﺪ ِ ْﻤ َﺤ ْﯿ َﻠِ ﻓ َﺓّﻼ َ ﺍﻟﺼ َ ِﻦَ ﻣ َﻍَﺮ َﺍ ﻓ ِﺫَﺈ َ ﯾﺲ ﻓ َﺓُﻮﺭ َ ﺳ ِ ﻭ َﺎﺏ ِﺘْﻜ َ ﺍﻟ َﺔِﺤ َﺎﺗ َ ﻓ َﺓُﻮﺭ ﺳ َﺔ ً ْﺟ َﻭِﻲ ﺯ ْﻨُﻗ ْﺯ ّ ﺍﺭ ُﻢ َ ّﻬ ِ» :ﺍﻟﻠ َ ُﻞَﻘ ْﯿَ ﻟ ِ ﻭ ْﻪَﯿ َﻠِ ﻋ ْﻦُﺜ ْﯿَ ﻟ ّ ﻭ َﻞ َ َ ﺟ ّ ﻭ َﺰ َ َ ﻋ ّﻪﺍﻟﻠ َ ِﻥ َْ ﺇ ْ ﻭ َﺕَﺮ َﻜ ُ ﺷ ْﺖَﻨ ْﺴَﺣ ْ ﺃ ِﻥً ﺇ ُﻮﺭﺍ َﯿً ﻏ ُﻮﻋﺎ َﻨً ﻗ ُﻮﺭﺍ َﻜً ﺷ ُﻮﺩﺍ َﻟً ﻭ ُﻭﺩﺍ َﺩً ﻭ َﺔِﺤ َﺎﻟ ﺻ ْ ﻭ َ َﺕّﺮ َﻛ َُ ﺫ ِﯿﺖ َﺴ ْ ﻧ ِﻥَ ﺇ ْ ﻭ َﺖَﺎﻧ َﻋَﻰ ﺃ َﺎﻟ َﻌَ ﺗ ّﻪُ ﺍﻟﻠ َ ْﺕَﺮ َﻛْ ﺫ ِﻥَ ﺇ ْ ﻭ َﺕَﺮ َﻔُ ﻏ ْﺕَﺄ َﺳﺃ َﺎ ُﻬْﺗ َﺮ َﻣْ ﺃ ِﻥَ ﺇ ْ ﻭ ّﺕُﺮ ََﺎ ﺳ ْﻬَﯿ َﻠُ ﻋ ْﺖَﻠ َﺧْ ﺩ ِﻥﻭ ﺇ ْ َ َﺖِﻈ َﻔَﺎ ﺣ ِﻫْﺪ ِﻨْ ﻋ ِﻦُ ﻣ ْﺖَﺟ َﺮْ ﺧ ِﻥﺇ 1ﺍﻳﻦ ﻋﺎﺭﻑ ،ﻓﻘﻴﻪ ﻭ ﻓﻴﻠﺴﻮﻑ ﺑﺰﺭﮒ ﻣﺘﻮﻟﺪ ﺳﺎﻝ ۱۲۴۱ﺩﺭ ﺍﺻﻔﻬﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺳﺎﺗﻴﺪ ﻣﺸﻬﻮﺭ ﻭﯼ ،ﻣﯽﺗﻮﺍﻥ ﻣﻴﺮﺯﺍ ﺟﻬﺎﻧﮕﻴﺮﺧﺎﻥ ﻗﺸﻘﺎﻳﯽ ﺭﺍ ﻧﺎﻡ ﺑﺮﺩ.ﺁﻳﺖﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻘﻄﻌﯽ ﻧﻴﺰ ﺑﺎ ﺷﻬﻴﺪ ﻣﺪﺭﺱ ﻫﻢﺣﺠﺮﻩﺍﯼ ﺑﻮﺩﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ. ﺍﻣﺎ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﺷﻬﺮﺕ ﺷﻴﺦ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽ ﺑﻪ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﻛﺮﺍﻣﺎﺕ ﺍﻭﺳﺖ.ﺍﺯ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﺗﺸﺮﻑ ﻧﺰﺩ ﺣﻀﺮﺕ ﺧﻀﺮ ﻧﺒﯽ ﻭ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺭﺿﺎ)ﻉ(، ﻃﯽﺍﻻﺭﺽ ،ﺁﮔﺎﻫﯽ ﺍﺯ ﻏﻴﺐ ،ﭼﺸﻢ ﺑﺮﺯﺧﯽ ،ﺩﻡ ﻣﺴﻴﺤﺎﻳﯽ ﻭ ....ﺍﻭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻗﺪﺭﺕﻫﺎﯼ ﺍﻟﻬﯽ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺎ ﺗﻬﺠﺪ ،ﺗﻮﻛﻞ ،ﺷﺐﺯﻧﺪﻩﺩﺍﺭﯼ، ﺧﻮﺍﻧﺪﻥ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺍﻭﻝ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻭ ﺍﻧﺲ ﺑﺎ ﻗﺮﺁﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﺩﻩ ﺑﻮﺩ.ﻣﺮﺣﻮﻡ ﺁﻳﺖﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻛﺸﻤﻴﺮﯼ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﻣﯽﮔﻮﻳﺪ» :ﻣﺮﺣﻮﻡ ﺷﻴﺦ ﺣﺴﻨﻌﻠﯽ ﻧﺨﻮﺩﻛﯽﺍﺻﻔﻬﺎﻧﯽ ﺗﺎ ﭼﻬﺎﺭ ﺳﺎﻝ ﺩﺭ ﻣﺸﻬﺪ ﻣﻘﺪﺱ ،ﻫﺮ ﺷﺐ ﺗﺎ ﺻﺒﺢ ﻗﺮﺁﻥ ﺭﺍ ﺧﺘﻢ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺭﺿﺎ)ﻉ( ﻫﺪﻳﻪ ﻣﯽﻛﺮﺩ ﺗﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺁﻥ ﻣﻘﺎﻣﺎﺕ ﺭﺳﻴﺪ«. َﺎ ْﻬَﯿ َﻠ ُ ﻋ ْﺖِﺒ َﻀْ ﻏ ِﻥَ ﺇ ِﻲ ﻭ َﻤَﺴ ْ ﻗ ّﺕَﺮ َ َﺑ َﺎ ﺃ ﯿﻬَْ َﻠُ ﻋ ْﺖَﻤ ْﺴَﻗ ْ ﺃ ِﻥَ ﺇ ِﻲ ﻭ ْﻨَﺘ َﺎﻋ َﻃ ﺃ َ ﻻ َ َ ﻭ ُﻚ َﻟ ْﺄَﺳ َﺎ ﺃ ّﻤِﻧ ََﺈَ ﻓ ِﻚَﻟ ِﻲ ﺫ ْ ﻟ َﺐِ ﻫ َﺍﻡ ْﺮْﻛ ﻹ َ ﺍِ ِ ﻭ َﻝَﻼ ْﺠَﺍ ﺍﻟ َﺎ ﺫ ِﻲ ﯾ ْﻨَﺘ ْﺿَﺭ ﺃ َﺍ ِﺫ ّ ﺇ ُﻢ َ َ ﺛ َﻝَﺄ َﺎ ﺳ ُ ﻣ َﻪﻠ ُ ﺍﻟّ َﺎﻩ ْﻄَﻋ َ ﺃ ِﻚَﻟ َ ﺫ َﻞَﻌ ْ ﻓ َﻦَﻤ ِﻲ ﻓ َ ﻟ ْﺖَﻤ َﺴَﺎ ﻗ ّ ﻣ ِﻻ َ ُ ﺇ ِﺪَﺟ ﺃ َﻰ َﻠُ ﻋ َﻩَﺪ ْ ﯾ َﺢ ْﺴَﻤ ْﯿّ ﻟ ُﻢ َ ِ ﺛ ْﻦَﯿ َﺘْﻌ َﻛّ ﺭ َﻞ ِ ُﺼ ْﯿﻓﻠ ِ َ ْﻪَﯿ َﻠْ ﻋ َﺖَﻠ َﺧَ ﺩ ِ ﻭ ْﻪَﯿ ِﻟْ ﺇ ّﺖُﻓ َ ﺯ ّ ﻭ َ ِﻲ َ َﺎ ﻓ َﻬْ ﻟ ِﻙَﺎﺭ َ ﺑ ِﻲ ﻭ ْﻠَﻫ ِﻲ ﺃ ِﻲ ﻓ ْ ﻟ ِﻙَﺎﺭ ّ ﺑ ُﻢ َ ّﻬ ِ ﺍﻟﻠ َ ُﻞَﻘ ْﯿَ ﻟ َﺎ ﻭ ِﻬَﺘ ِﯿَﺎﺻ ﻧ ِﻥ َْ ﺇ ٍ ﻭ َﺔَﻛ َﺮ َ ﺑ ٍ ﻭ ْﻦ ُﻤَ ﯾ ٍ ﻭ ْﺮَﯿ ِﻲ ﺧ َﺎ ﻓ َﻨْﻨ َﯿْ ﺑ َﻊْﻤ َﺎﺟ َﺎ ﻓ َﻨْﻨ َﯿَ ﺑ ْﺖَﻌ َﻤَﺎ ﺟ ﻣ ْﺮ« َﯿَﻰ ﺧ ِﻟً ﺇ َﺔْﻗ ُﺮَﺎ ﻓ ْﻬَﻠ ْﻌَﺎﺟ ً ﻓ َﺔْﻗ ُﺮَﺎ ﻓ َﻬْﺘ َﻠَﻌ ﺟ ﺣﻀﺮﺕ ﺍﻣﻴﺮﺍﻟﻤﻮﻣﻨﻴﻦ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩﻧﺪ:ﻫﺮ ﻳﮏ ﺍﺯ ﺷﻤﺎ ﮐﻪ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺖ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﮐﻨﺪ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﺑﺘﺪﺍ ﺩﻭ ﺭﮐﻌﺖ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻧﺪ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﻫﺮ ﺭﮐﻌﺖ ﺳﻮﺭﻩ ﯼ ﻓﺎﺗﺤﺔﺍﻟﮑﺘﺎﺏ ﻭ ﺳﻮﺭﻩ ﯼ ﻳﺲ ﺭﺍ ﺑﺨﻮﺍﻧﺪ ،ﻭﻗﺘﯽ ﮐﻪ ﺍﺯ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﻓﺎﺭﻍ ﺷﺪ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺣﻤﺪ ﻭ ﺛﻨﺎﯼ ﭘﺮﻭﺭﺩﮔﺎﺭ ،ﺍﻳﻦ ﮔﻮﻧﻪ ﺑﮕﻮﻳﺪ»:ﭘﺮﻭﺭﺩﮔﺎﺭﺍ ،ﻫﻤﺴﺮﯼ ﻣﻬﺮﺑﺎﻥ ﻭ ﺑﭽﻪ ﺁﻭﺭ ﻭ ﺷﮑﺮﮔﺰﺍﺭ ﻭ ﺑﺎﻏﻴﺮﺕ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻦ ﻋﻄﺎ ﮐﻦ ﮐﻪ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭ ﻧﻴﮑﯽ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﺷﮑﺮﮔﺰﺍﺭ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭ ﺑﺪﯼ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺑﺒﺨﺸﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﻳﺎﺩ ﺧﺪﺍ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﻳﺎﺭﯼ ﮐﻨﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺭﺍ ﻓﺮﺍﻣﻮﺵ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺑﻪ ﻳﺎﺩ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺑﻴﻨﺪﺍﺯﺩ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺍﺯ ﻧﺰﺩ ﺍﻭ ﺧﺎﺭﺝ ﺷﺪﻡ )ﺍﺳﺮﺍﺭ ﻭ ﺍﻣﻮﺍﻝ ﻭ ﺁﺑﺮﻭﯼ ﻣﺮﺍ( ﺣﻔﻆ ﮐﻨﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺑﺮ ﺍﻭ ﻭﺍﺭﺩ ﺷﺪﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺧﻮﺷﺤﺎﻝ ﺳﺎﺯﺩ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﮐﺎﺭﯼ ﺍﻣﺮ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺍﻃﺎﻋﺖ ﮐﻨﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺑﺮ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻭ ﻗﺴﻢ ﺧﻮﺭﺩﻡ )ﮐﻪ ﺍﻭ ﮐﺎﺭﯼ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻧﺠﺎﻡ ﺩﻫﺪ( ﺍﻭ )ﺁﻥ ّﻪ ﮐﻨﺪ ،ﻭ ﮐﺎﺭ ﺭﺍ ﺍﻧﺠﺎﻡ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ( ﻭ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺁﻥ ﻗﺴﻢ ﺑﺮﯼﺀﺍﻟﺬﻣ ﺍﮔﺮ ﺑﺮ ﺍﻭ ﻏﻀﺐ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ ﻣﺮﺍ ﺭﺍﺿﯽ ﺳﺎﺯﺩ.ﺍﯼ ﭘﺮﻭﺭﺩﮔﺎﺭ ﺻﺎﺣﺐ ﺟﻼﻝ ﻭ ﺍﮐﺮﺍﻡ ،ﭼﻨﻴﻦ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﯼ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺑﺒﺨﺶ! ﭘﺲ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺭﺳﺘﯽ ﮐﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺗﻮ ﺧﻮﺍﺳﺘﻬﺎﻡ ﻭ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻦ ﻧﻤﯽ ﺭﺳﺪ ﻣﮕﺮ ﺁﻥ ﭼﻴﺰﯼ ﮐﻪ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻨﺖ ﻣﯽ ﮔﺬﺍﺭﯼ ﻭ ﻋﻄﺎ ﻣﯽ ﮐﻨﯽ«. ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺖ ﺩﻭﻡ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﺻﺎﺩﻕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺩﻋﺎﻳﯽ ﮐﻪ ﺣﻀﺮﺕ)ﻉ( ﺑﻪ ﺍﺑﯽ ﺑﺼﻴﺮ ﺭﺣﻤﻪ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺁﻣﻮﺧﺘﻨﺪ.ﺍﻳﻦ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺖ ﺩﺭ ﻣﻜﺎﺭﻡ ﺍﻷﺧﻼﻕ ،ﺹ ،205 :ﺍﻟﻜﺎﻓﻲ ،ﺝ ،3ﺹ،482 :ﺑﺤﺎﺭﺍﻻﻧﻮﺍﺭ،ﺝ،100ﺹ268 ﺁﻣﺪﻩ ﺍﺳﺖ. ِﺪ ٍ َﺍﺷ ِ ﺭ ْﻦِ ﺑ َﻦ َﺴْﺤ ِ ﺍﻟ ّﻩَﺪ ِ ْ ﺟ َﻦَﻰ ﻋ ْﯿَﺤ ِ ﯾ ْﻦِ ﺑ ِﻢَﺎﺳ ْﻘِ ﺍﻟ َﻦٍ ﻋ ّﺪَﻤ َ ُﺤ ِ ﻣ ْﻦَ ﺑ َﺪْﻤ َﺣْ ﺃ َﻦ»ﻋ َﺍ ِﺫٍ ﺇ ِﯿﺮ َﺼَﺎ ﺑ َﺑ ﻝ ﻉ ﺃ َََﺄ ُ ﺳ ّﻪَﻧ َ ّﻪ ﺃ ِ ﺍﻟﻠ َ ْﺪﻋﺒ ُﻮ َ َﺑِﻲ ﺃ َ ﻟ َﺎﻝ ٍ ﻗ ِﯿﺮ َﺼِﻲ ﺑ َﺑْ ﺃ َﻦﻋ َﻞ ِ ّ ُﺼ ْﯿَﻠ َ ﻓ ِﻚَﻟ ِﺬّ ﺑ َﻢ َ َﺍ ﻫ ِﺫ َ ﺇ َﺎﻝ ِﻱ ﻗ ْﺭَﺩ َﺎ ﺃ َ ﻣ َﺎﻝ َﻘُ ﻓ َﻊْﻨ َﺼَ ﯾ ْﻒَﯿ ْ ﻛ ُﻢُﻛ َﺪَﺣ َ ﺃ ّﺝَﻭ َ َﺰ ﺗ َﻥ ْ ُ ﺃ ِﯾﺪ ُﺭّﻲ ﺃ ِﻧ ِ ّ ﺇ ُﻢ َّﻬِ :ﺍﻟﻠ َ ُﻞَﻘ ْﯿَ ﻟ ّ ﻭ َﻞ َ َ ﺟ ّ ﻭ َﺰ َ َ ﻋ ّﻪِ ﺍﻟﻠ َ َﺪْﻤ َﺤْﯿ َ ﻟ ِ ﻭ ْﻦَﯿ َﺘْﻌ َﻛﺭ ً ﻭ َ ْﻘﺎ َﻠَ ﺧ ً ﻭ ُﻘﺎ ُﻠّ ﺧ ُﻦ َ َﻬ َﻨْﺴ َﺣِ ﺃ َﺎﺀ ّﺴَ ﺍﻟﻨ ِ ِﻦِﻲ ﻣ ْ ﻟ ّﺭَﺪ ِ َﻘ ّ ﻓ ُﻢ َ ّﻬ َ ﺍﻟﻠ َ ّﺝَﻭ َ َﺰ َﺗﺃ ً ﻭ َ ْﻗﺎ ِﺯ ّ ﺭ ُﻦ َ َﻬ َﻌْﺳ َﻭَ ﺃ ِﻲ ﻭ َﺎﻟ َ ﻣ َﺎ ﻭ ِﻬْﺴ َﻔِﻲ ﻧ ِﻲ ﻓ ّ ﻟ ُﻦ َ َﻬ َﻈْﻔ َﺣَ ﺃ ً ﻭ ْﺟﺎ َﺮّ ﻓ ُﻦ َ ّﻬ َﻔ َ َﻋ ﺃ ِﺤﺎ ً َﺎﻟ ً ﺻ َﻔﺎ َﻠِﻲ ﺧ ُ ﻟ ُﻪ َﻠْﻌ َﺠً ﺗ ّﺒﺎ َﯿ ِ ً ﻃ َﺪﺍ َﻟَﺎ ﻭ ْﻬِﻨ ِﻲ ﻣ ِ ﻟ ْﺾَ ﺍﻗ ً ﻭ َﺔَﻛ َﺮّ ﺑ ُﻦ َ َﻬ َﻤْﻈ َﻋ ﺃ ِﻲ«؛ ْﺗَﻮ َ ﻣ ْﺪَﻌ َ ﺑ ِﻲ ﻭ َﺎﺗ َﯿِﻲ ﺣ ﻓ ﺭﻭﺍﻳﺖ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺣﻀﺮﺕ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺑﻰ ﺑﺼﻴﺮ ﭘﺮﺳﻴﺪ :ﻳﻜﻰ ﺍﺯ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻣﻴﺨﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﺪ ﭼﻪ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ؟ ﮔﻔﺖ ﻧﻤﻴﺪﺍﻧﻢ.ﺍﻣﺎﻡ ﻓﺮﻣﻮﺩ ﭼﻮﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﺎﺭ ﺗﺼﻤﻴﻢ ﮔﺮﻓﺖ ﺩﻭ ﺭﻛﻌﺖ ﻧﻤﺎﺯ ﮔﺰﺍﺭﺩ ﻭ ﺧﺪﺍ ﺭﺍ ﺣﻤﺪ ﻛﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ، ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻗﺼﺪ ﻣﻦ »ﺧﺪﺍﻭﻧﺪﺍ ﺑﮕﻮﻳﺪ: ﻭ ﺧﻮﺷﺨﻮﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﻭ ﻋﻔﻴﻒ ﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺭﺍ ﻧﺼﻴﺐ ﻣﻦ ﻛﻦ ﻛﻪ ﻣﺎﻝ ﻣﻦ ﻭ ﻧﺎﻣﻮﺱ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺣﻔﻆ ﻛﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺭﺯﻕ ﻭ ﺑﺮﻛﺖ ﺍﻭ ﺍﺯ ﻫﻤﻪ ﻭﺳﻴﻌﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ ،ﻭ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻭ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﻯ ﭘﺎﻙ ﻛﻪ ﺩﺭ ﺣﻴﺎﺕ ﻭ ﻣﺮﮒ ﻣﻦ ﻳﺎﺩﮔﺎﺭﻯ ﺻﺎﻟﺢ ﺑﺎﺷﻨﺪ ﺑﻤﻦ ﻋﻨﺎﻳﺖ ﻛﻦ« ﺷﺎﻧﺰﺩﻩ ( ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻓﺎﻣﯿﻠﻲ : -1ﻧﺒﺎﻳﺪ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻫﺮﺍﺳﻲ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ ؛ ﭼﻪ ﺑﺴﺎ ﺩﺭ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻧﻮﻉ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻫﺎ ،ﺗﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ. -2ﺍﺯ ﻣﺸﺎﻭﺭ ﮊﻧﺘﻴﻚ ﻏﻔﻠﺖ ﻧﺸﻮﺩ . -3ﺑﺮﺍﺳﺎﺱ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻋﺎﻗﻼﻧﻪ ﺍﻧﺠﺎﻡ ﺷﻮﺩ ،ﻧﻪ ﭘﻴﺮﻭﻱ ﺍﺯ ﺁﺩﺍﺏ ﻭ ﺭﺳﻮﻡ . ﻫﻔﺪﻩ ( ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺎ ﺳﺮﭘﺮﺳﺖ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ : -1ﺩﺭ ﺻﻮﺭﺗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻗﺪﺭﺕ ﺗﺤﻤﻞ ﺑﺎﻻﻳﻲ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ،ﭘﻴﺸﻨﻬﺎﺩ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺭﺍ ﺑﭙﺬﻳﺮﺩ ﻭ ﭘﺲ ﺍﺯ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﺑﺮ ﺻﺒﺮ ﻭ ﻣﺪﺍﺭﺍﻱ ﺧﻮﺩ ﺑﻴﺎﻓﺰﺍﻳﺪ . -2ﺑﻜﻮﺷﻨﺪ ﺗﺎ ﺍﺯ ﺑﺮﻛﺎﺕ ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻁ ﻧﺰﺩﻳﻚ ﺑﺎ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺑﻬﺮﻩ ﻣﻨﺪ ﺷﻮﻧﺪ ﻭ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﭘﻴﺶ ﺁﻣﺪﻩ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻪ ﺧﻮﺑﻲ ﻣﺪﻳﺮﻳﺖ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ . ﻫﺠﺪﻩ ( ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻟﯿﺖ :ﺍﻳﻦ ﻣﻮﺭﺩ ﻣﺎﻧﻊ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ ،ﺍﮔﺮ : -1ﻛﺴﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺑﺎ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻝ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﻴﻜﻨﺪ ﺩﺍﺭﺍﻱ ﺳﻌﻪ ﺻﺪﺭ ﻭ ﺻﺒﻮﺭ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . ﻧﻘﺺ -2ﻣﻌﻤﻮﻻ ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩﻱ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻟﻴﺖ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺻﻮﺭﺗﻲ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻛﻪ ﺟﺴﻤﺎﻧﻲ ﻫﺮ ﻳﻚ ﺍﺯ ﺳﻮﻱ ﺩﻳﮕﺮﻱ ﺟﺒﺮﺍﻥ ﻣﻴﺸﻮﺩ ،ﺑﺮﺍﻱ ﺍﺯﺩﻭﺍﺝ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻫﻤﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ .ﺯﻳﺮﺍ ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﺭﺍ ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺩﺭﻙ ﻣﻲ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ ﻭ ﺩﺭ ﺁﻳﻨﺪﻩ ﻣﻨﺘﻲ ﺑﺮ ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﻧﺨﻮﺍﻫﻨﺪ ﺩﺍﺷﺖ.ﺍﻟﺒﺘﻪ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺁﻧﻪ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻫﻨﮕﺎﻡ ﺑﺎﺭﺩﺍﺭﻱ ،ﺯﺍﻳﻤﺎﻥ ﻭ ﺧﺮﺩ ﺳﺎﻟﻲ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪ ﺁﻧﻬﺎ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻳﺸﺎﻥ ﻛﻤﻚ ﻛﻨﻨﺪ. ﻧﻮﺯﺩﻩ ( ﺗﻌﺪﺍﺩ ﺟﻤﻌﯿﺖ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ :ﺩﺭ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﭘﺮ ﺟﻤﻌﻴﺖ : ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﺮﺧﻮﺭﺩﺍﺭﻧﺪ، -1ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﻣﻌﻤﻮﻻ ﺍﺯ ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻲ ﺯﻳﺮﺍ ﻋﻼﻭﻩ ﺑﺮ ﻣﺤﺒﺖ ﭘﺪﺭ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ،ﻃﻌﻢ ﻣﻬﺮ ﺧﻮﺍﻫﺮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﺩﺭﺍﻥ ﺭﺍ ﻧﻴﺰ ﻣﻴﭽﺸﻨﺪ . -2ﺍﻓﺮﺍﺩ ﻗﺎﻧﻊ ﻭ ﺳﺎﺯﮔﺎﺭﺗﺮ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ . -3ﺗﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﺍﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ ﺍﻳﻦ ﮔﻮﻧﻪ ﻓﺮﺯﻧﺪﺍﻥ ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﺍﺻﻮﻝ ﻭ ﻣﺒﺎﻧﻲ ﺍﻟﮕﻮﻱ ﺍﺳﻼﻣﻲ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ : ﯾﻚ ( ﺍﺻﻮﻝ ﻧﺎﻇﺮ ﺑﺮ ﺭﻭﺍﺑﻂ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ : -1ﺍﺻﻞ ﻣﻜﻤﻞ ﺑﻮﺩﻥ :ﺑﻨﺎﺑﺮ ﺁﻣﻮﺯﻩ ﻫﺎﻱ ﻗﺮﺁﻧﻲ ﺯﻥ ﻭ ﻣﺮﺩ ﻛﺎﻣﻞ ُﻢ ْ ْﺘ َﻧ َﺃ ْ ﻭ ُﻢَﻜ ٌ ﻟ َﺎﺱ ِﺒّ ﻟ ُﻦ َ ﻛﻨﻨﺪﻩ ﻳﻜﺪﻳﮕﺮ ﻫﺴﺘﻨﺪ.ﻗﺮﺁﻥ ﻣﯽ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻳﺪ» :ﻫ ّ «)ﺑﻘﺮﻩ ( 187 /ﺯﻥ ﻭ ﻣﺮﺩ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻳﮑﺪﻳﮕﺮﻧﺪ ُﻦ َ َﻬ ٌ ﻟ َﺎﺱ ِﺒﻟ ﻧﮕﺎﻫﯽ ﺑﻪ ﺗﺸﺒﯿﻪ ﻗﺮﺁﻥ ﺩﺭ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻃﺮﺡ ﻭ ﺭﻧﮓ ﻭ ﺟﻨﺲ ﺑﺎﻳﺪ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ . ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﺳﻮﻣﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﺸﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ .ﺍﻭﻟﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﺸﺮ ،ﺍﻛﺴﻴﮋﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ ، ﺩﻭﻣﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﺸﺮ ،ﻏﺬﺍ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﺳﻮﻣﻴﻦ ﻧﻴﺎﺯ ﺑﺸﺮ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ)ﻫﻢ ﺩﺭ ﺑﻌﺪ ﻣﺎﺩﯼ ﻭ ﻫﻢ ﺩﺭ ﺑﻌﺪ ﻣﻌﻨﻮﯼ( .ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﭼﻪ ﺧﺼﻮﺻﻴﺎﺗﯽ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ؟ ﺭﻧﮓ ﻭ ﺩﻭﺧﺖ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ،ﻧﺸﺎﻧﻪﯼ ﺳﻠﻴﻘﻪ ﻭ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﺍﻳﻨﮑﻪ ﭼﻪ ﻫﻤﺴﺮﯼ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻛﻨﻴﻢ ،ﺍﺯ ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻡ ﻣﯽﺷﻮﺩ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻳﺸﺎﻥ ،ﺩﺭ ﭼﻪ ﻓﻜﺮﯼ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﻓﻘﻂ ﻓﻜﺮ ﺯﻳﺒﺎﻳﯽ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﺛﺮﻭﺕ ﺍﺳﺖ، ﭘﺴﺖ ﺍﺳﺖ؟ ﺩﻭﺧﺖ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻭ ﺟﻨﺲ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻧﺸﺎﻧﻪﯼ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ. ﺍﻧﺘﺨﺎﺏ ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻫﻢ ﻧﺸﺎﻧﻪﯼ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺖ ﺍﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ . ﮔﺎﻫﯽ ﻳﻚ ﻟﻜﻪ ﺗﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﺭﺯﺵ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﺭﺍ ﺯﻳﺮ ﺳﺆﺍﻝ ﻣﯽﺑﺮﺩ.ﻫﻤﺴﺮ ﻫﻢ ّﺖ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﻃﻮﺭ ﺍﺳﺖ.ﮔﺎﻫﯽ ﻳﻚ ﺣﺮﻛﺖ ﺩﺭ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ،ﻛﻞ ﻫﻮﻳ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯﺑﻴﻦ ﻣﯽ ﺑﺮﺩ. ﻫﻤﻴﺸﻪ ﭼﻴﺰﻫﺎﯼ ﮔﺮﺍﻥ ﻭ ﭘﺮ ﺯﺭﻕ ﻭ ﺑﺮﻕ ﺩﺍﺭ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﻧﻴﺴﺘﻨﺪ! ً ﭼﻮﻥ ﻛﺒﺎﺏ ﮔﺮﺍﻥ ﺍﺳﺖ ، ﮔﺎﻫﯽ ﻭﻗﺖﻫﺎ ﻣﺎ ﻓﻜﺮ ﻣﯽﻛﻨﻴﻢ ﻛﻪ ﻣﺜﻼ ﻭ ﺣﺎﻝ ﺁﻧﻜﻪ ﻣﻤﻜﻦ ﺍﺳﺖ ﺍﻧﺮﮊﯼ ﺧﺮﻣﺎ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻧﺮﮊﯼ ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮﯼ ﺩﺍﺭﺩ ﮔﻮﺷﺖ ﺑﻴﺶﺗﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ.ﻓﻜﺮ ﻣﯽﻛﻨﻴﻢ ﻛﻪ ﺧﺎﻧﻤﯽ ﻛﻪ ﭘﺪﺭﺵ ﻛﺎﺭﺧﺎﻧﻪﺩﺍﺭ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﺗﺎﺟﺮ ﺍﺳﺖ ،ﺳﺮﻣﺎﻳﻪﺩﺍﺭ ﺍﺳﺖ ﻭ ﺗﺤﺼﻴﻼﺗﺶ ﻓﻮﻕ ﻟﻴﺴﺎﻧﺲ ﺍﺳﺖ، ً ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﮔﺮﺍﻥ ﺑﻬﺘﺮﻳﻦ ﻟﺒﺎﺱ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ! ً ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺧﻮﺑﯽ ﻫﻢ ﻫﺴﺖ! ﺣﺘﻤﺎ