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Questions and Answers
Which age range can validation techniques be applied to by labeling their emotions, writing their desires down for future reference, drawing their emotions, and validating with fantasy?
What is the difference between validation and invalidation?
What is a fundamental way to validate children?
What should parents avoid using when validating children?
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What is important to remember when validating teenagers and adults?
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What should parents avoid doing when their child is expressing their emotions?
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What is the most validating thing one can do?
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What is a helpful resource for parents who lack validation skills towards their children?
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What should parents do if they assume what the other person is feeling or thinking?
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What is a way to validate children's emotions?
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What is an example of invalidation?
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What should parents do with some actions and behaviors when validating children?
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Study Notes
Validation Techniques for Different Age Ranges
- Validation is about relaying how a person's thoughts, opinions, feelings, or urges make sense based on the facts of a given situation and their history.
- Invalidation is common among parents towards their children, such as telling them that what they feel isn't true or scolding them for feeling a certain way.
- Validation can be applied to children ranging from infants to age seven by labeling their emotions, writing their desires down for future reference, drawing their emotions, and validating with fantasy.
- Attention is a fundamental way to validate children, and all feelings can be validated, but some actions and behaviors must be limited.
- When validating children, it's essential to avoid using the word "but" and replace it with "and" or provide credit for their knowledge.
- Validating teenagers and adults involves acting interested and reflecting back what is heard, as well as taking a solid guess at what the other person may be feeling or thinking.
- It's crucial not to assume what the other person is feeling or thinking and to gracefully accept when one is wrong.
- Validating with what makes sense based on the situation or a person's history is essential, and showing equality is the most validating thing one can do.
- Invalidation can occur when parents jump to problem-solving or advice-giving instead of giving space for the child to feel their emotions.
- Parents should also avoid asking a series of questions that can feel like an interrogation and overwhelm the child.
- The book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" is a helpful resource for parents who lack validation skills towards their children.
- Validation techniques can differ depending on the age range, but the fundamental principle remains the same: validating a person's emotions and making them feel heard.
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