Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills - VIDEO 6 - QUIZ

Self-Validation and Observing Limits: A Family Connections Class on Managing Emotions

• The National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder is a nonprofit organization that helps family members dealing with loved ones who have borderline personality disorder through advocacy, awareness, outreach, research, and education.

• Family Connections is a 12-week course offered throughout the United States and in about 28 countries throughout the world that teaches psychoeducation skills and support for family members dealing with borderline personality disorder.

• Self-validation is a key skill in managing emotions and lessening distress, and it involves recognizing and accepting one's own feelings without judgment.

• Primary emotions are authentic, genuine, and immediate emotions that occur when something happens, while secondary emotions are often toxic and devolve from primary emotions, such as anger devolving from disappointment or fear.

• Accurately identifying primary emotions is crucial to being able to manage emotions effectively.

• Self-soothing is a crucial aspect of self-validation, and it involves taking care of oneself in a realistic and soothing manner.

• Observing limits is another key skill in managing emotions and involves setting boundaries and taking care of oneself to prevent burnout.

• Mindfulness exercises, such as visualizing oneself in a happy place, can help reduce stress and promote self-validation and self-soothing.

• Self-validation is not about discounting one's feelings or ignoring them but rather recognizing and accepting them.

• Self-invalidating can lead to allowing others to treat oneself disrespectfully and can be detrimental to one's emotional and physical health.

• Family members dealing with loved ones who have borderline personality disorder often experience stress, distress, anxiety, and chaos, which can be exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and social distancing measures.

• Learning skills such as self-validation, observing limits, and mindfulness can help family members manage their emotions and maintain their own well-being while supporting their loved ones.Self-Validation and Observing Your Limits

• Self-evaluation is important in observing our own limits and building coping skills to deal with relatives who are dysregulated.

• Constant invalidation of our feelings and experiences can reduce our ability to cope and contribute to emotional vulnerability and decreased sense of well-being.

• Emotional vulnerability makes it difficult to engage in challenging relationships.

• HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) are times when it is not advisable to engage in relationships or communication.

• Self-validation involves accurately labeling emotions and identifying areas where we are most often self-invalidating.

• Radical acceptance is accepting what we cannot change and not fighting reality.

• Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. We suffer when we fight reality.

• Guilt is not a helpful feeling and should be set aside. There is no blame in having a loved one with BPD.

• Assumptions and judgments are a huge part of invalidation and should be avoided.

• Changing ourselves is possible, and the motivation comes from seeing a benefit in validating our loved ones and ourselves.

• Invalidation from relatives can be dealt with by not taking the bait, using validating statements, showing curiosity, or walking away from the conversation.

• Observing our limits helps us maintain our self-respect and experience a more loving and trusting relationship. It is different from setting boundaries, which can be a loaded term.Observing Limits: Maintaining Relationships and Self-Respect with Loved Ones

• Observing limits is about setting boundaries for oneself, rather than controlling others.

• Limits may shift over time and depend on personal circumstances and ability to tolerate certain behaviors.

• Observing limits is crucial to avoiding burnout and preserving relationships with loved ones.

• Setting limits is different from limiting someone else's behavior.

• It is important to identify what one is willing to accept and what goes beyond their limit and sense of self-respect.

• Saying "no" is okay and is a part of observing limits.

• Limits can be observed in small ways, such as changing bed sheets, or in big ways, such as not tolerating drug use in the home.

• Validation is an important aspect of observing limits and can help in saying "no".

• It is helpful to establish limits before a crisis occurs.

• Limits may be flexible and may change over time.

• Observing limits helps to preserve self-respect and avoid burnout.

• It is important to prioritize self-care and self-soothing techniques to maintain the ability to tolerate certain behaviors.Managing Relationships and Setting Limits

• Validation is key in managing relationships and setting limits

• Spiritual journeys can be different for each individual

• Therapy should be prioritized over funding other activities

• Negotiation and problem-solving can be used to find alternative solutions

• The importance of self-validation and observing personal limits

• It's okay to take a timeout or avoid/distract from a difficult conversation

• Limits are not threats, but consequences may need to be established

• Extinction burst is a behavior where a loved one tests the limit and may increase unwanted behavior

• The goal is not to change the loved one's behavior, but to manage our own response to their behavior

• Relationships with non-parents, such as spouses or in-laws, may require different approaches

• Self-care and building skills are essential in managing difficult relationships

• Technology can be a challenge, but setting boundaries and limiting communication can be helpful.

Self-Validation and Observing Limits: A Family Connections Class on Managing Emotions

• The National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder is a nonprofit organization that helps family members dealing with loved ones who have borderline personality disorder through advocacy, awareness, outreach, research, and education.

• Family Connections is a 12-week course offered throughout the United States and in about 28 countries throughout the world that teaches psychoeducation skills and support for family members dealing with borderline personality disorder.

• Self-validation is a key skill in managing emotions and lessening distress, and it involves recognizing and accepting one's own feelings without judgment.

• Primary emotions are authentic, genuine, and immediate emotions that occur when something happens, while secondary emotions are often toxic and devolve from primary emotions, such as anger devolving from disappointment or fear.

• Accurately identifying primary emotions is crucial to being able to manage emotions effectively.

• Self-soothing is a crucial aspect of self-validation, and it involves taking care of oneself in a realistic and soothing manner.

• Observing limits is another key skill in managing emotions and involves setting boundaries and taking care of oneself to prevent burnout.

• Mindfulness exercises, such as visualizing oneself in a happy place, can help reduce stress and promote self-validation and self-soothing.

• Self-validation is not about discounting one's feelings or ignoring them but rather recognizing and accepting them.

• Self-invalidating can lead to allowing others to treat oneself disrespectfully and can be detrimental to one's emotional and physical health.

• Family members dealing with loved ones who have borderline personality disorder often experience stress, distress, anxiety, and chaos, which can be exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and social distancing measures.

• Learning skills such as self-validation, observing limits, and mindfulness can help family members manage their emotions and maintain their own well-being while supporting their loved ones.Self-Validation and Observing Your Limits

• Self-evaluation is important in observing our own limits and building coping skills to deal with relatives who are dysregulated.

• Constant invalidation of our feelings and experiences can reduce our ability to cope and contribute to emotional vulnerability and decreased sense of well-being.

• Emotional vulnerability makes it difficult to engage in challenging relationships.

• HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) are times when it is not advisable to engage in relationships or communication.

• Self-validation involves accurately labeling emotions and identifying areas where we are most often self-invalidating.

• Radical acceptance is accepting what we cannot change and not fighting reality.

• Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. We suffer when we fight reality.

• Guilt is not a helpful feeling and should be set aside. There is no blame in having a loved one with BPD.

• Assumptions and judgments are a huge part of invalidation and should be avoided.

• Changing ourselves is possible, and the motivation comes from seeing a benefit in validating our loved ones and ourselves.

• Invalidation from relatives can be dealt with by not taking the bait, using validating statements, showing curiosity, or walking away from the conversation.

• Observing our limits helps us maintain our self-respect and experience a more loving and trusting relationship. It is different from setting boundaries, which can be a loaded term.Observing Limits: Maintaining Relationships and Self-Respect with Loved Ones

• Observing limits is about setting boundaries for oneself, rather than controlling others.

• Limits may shift over time and depend on personal circumstances and ability to tolerate certain behaviors.

• Observing limits is crucial to avoiding burnout and preserving relationships with loved ones.

• Setting limits is different from limiting someone else's behavior.

• It is important to identify what one is willing to accept and what goes beyond their limit and sense of self-respect.

• Saying "no" is okay and is a part of observing limits.

• Limits can be observed in small ways, such as changing bed sheets, or in big ways, such as not tolerating drug use in the home.

• Validation is an important aspect of observing limits and can help in saying "no".

• It is helpful to establish limits before a crisis occurs.

• Limits may be flexible and may change over time.

• Observing limits helps to preserve self-respect and avoid burnout.

• It is important to prioritize self-care and self-soothing techniques to maintain the ability to tolerate certain behaviors.Managing Relationships and Setting Limits

• Validation is key in managing relationships and setting limits

• Spiritual journeys can be different for each individual

• Therapy should be prioritized over funding other activities

• Negotiation and problem-solving can be used to find alternative solutions

• The importance of self-validation and observing personal limits

• It's okay to take a timeout or avoid/distract from a difficult conversation

• Limits are not threats, but consequences may need to be established

• Extinction burst is a behavior where a loved one tests the limit and may increase unwanted behavior

• The goal is not to change the loved one's behavior, but to manage our own response to their behavior

• Relationships with non-parents, such as spouses or in-laws, may require different approaches

• Self-care and building skills are essential in managing difficult relationships

• Technology can be a challenge, but setting boundaries and limiting communication can be helpful.