Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills - VIDEO 10

12 Questions

Deny

To help people be more assertive in asking for what they want

To avoid making the person feel defensive

To convey that you know what you want and you're deserving of it too

To explain what they could gain by giving you what you want

In various situations, from asking for a raise to saying no to a request

To practice and improve your delivery

To be willing to give to get

Describe

Express

Assert

Reinforce

Study Notes

Using the DEAR MAN interpersonal skill set

DEAR MAN is an assertiveness training model used to help people ask for things in a way that is more likely to get a positive response.
It involves several steps: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Stay mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate.
Describing the current situation using just the facts helps orient the person to what you're reacting to and avoid making them feel defensive.
Next, expressing your personal reaction helps the person understand why you're making the request.
Asserting your request by clearly asking for what you want is important, and it should be clear, concise, and specific.
Reinforcing or rewarding the other person ahead of time by explaining what they could gain by giving you what you want is important.
Staying mindful of your goal in the situation is crucial, and if needed, you can express your opinion or reassert your request again and again.
Appearing confident with your voice and body posture is important to convey that you know what you want and you're deserving of it too.
Negotiating is important if you need to be willing to give to get. This may involve reducing your request or offering another solution to the problem.
DEAR MAN can also be used to say no to a request, using the same steps.
Practicing writing your DEAR MAN out ahead of time and rehearsing in front of a mirror or another person can help.
The skill set works best when practiced and can be used in various situations, from asking for a raise to saying no to a request.