Get Out Of Your Own Way Ch: 22

Study Notes

Dealing with Criticism and Input

Ardent clinging to one's opinion is a sign of stupidity, as stated by Michel de Montaigne.
Rob, a 6-foot-4 senior partner in a law firm, exhibited a controlling and dictatorial behavior, making him hard to deal with.

Rob's Behavior and Background

Rob was unavailable and unpleasant as a husband and father, and was arrested for drunk driving.
He was raised by a critical, controlling, and judgmental father, and a mother who colluded with his father's behavior.
Rob believed that being a man meant acting like his dad, and he "heard" all input as critical and controlling, even if it wasn't.

Authoritarian vs. Authoritative Figures

Teenagers often crave honest, direct input from authoritative figures, but may act out in self-destructive ways if they can't find them.
If you're stuck in a resentment from your teen years, you may be missing out on valuable input from people who are trying to connect with you in your present life.

The Importance of Listening to Input

If you let the authoritarian figures from the past block input from authoritative figures in your life now, your future will die for the sins of your past.
Usable Insight: Listening to input from authoritative figures can lead to great accomplishments in both your work and personal life.

Action Steps

When someone close to you offers a suggestion, listen to it and thank them for their input.
When someone at work offers input, pause, listen, and say thank you for the suggestion.
Rethink situations where you shut off input, and ask yourself how someone you respect would handle it.
Seek input from people you respect, and remember their words when faced with a situation.
Counter self-righteousness by thinking of three things about you that make you difficult to deal with.

Dealing with Criticism and Input

Ardent clinging to one's opinion is a sign of stupidity, as stated by Michel de Montaigne.
Rob, a 6-foot-4 senior partner in a law firm, exhibited a controlling and dictatorial behavior, making him hard to deal with.

Rob's Behavior and Background

Rob was unavailable and unpleasant as a husband and father, and was arrested for drunk driving.
He was raised by a critical, controlling, and judgmental father, and a mother who colluded with his father's behavior.
Rob believed that being a man meant acting like his dad, and he "heard" all input as critical and controlling, even if it wasn't.

Authoritarian vs. Authoritative Figures

Teenagers often crave honest, direct input from authoritative figures, but may act out in self-destructive ways if they can't find them.
If you're stuck in a resentment from your teen years, you may be missing out on valuable input from people who are trying to connect with you in your present life.

The Importance of Listening to Input

If you let the authoritarian figures from the past block input from authoritative figures in your life now, your future will die for the sins of your past.
Usable Insight: Listening to input from authoritative figures can lead to great accomplishments in both your work and personal life.

Action Steps

When someone close to you offers a suggestion, listen to it and thank them for their input.
When someone at work offers input, pause, listen, and say thank you for the suggestion.
Rethink situations where you shut off input, and ask yourself how someone you respect would handle it.
Seek input from people you respect, and remember their words when faced with a situation.
Counter self-righteousness by thinking of three things about you that make you difficult to deal with.

Description

A case study of Rob, a senior law firm partner, who exhibits imposing and unpleasant behavior, and explores his personality traits. Analyze Rob's behavior and personality through the lens of psychology.