Developing Soft Skills and Personality (Lecture 1) PDF

Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 1 Lecture 1 Professor T. Ravichandran...

Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 1 Lecture 1 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur  LEARNING ???? What does learning mean to you?  Cramming of text books? Mindless reproduction of memorised ideas? Getting something on paper? Showing off somebody the certificates, degrees and medals accumulated? Learning? Is it mere increase of knowledge? Ability to memorise and reproduce? Does it mean... Gather facts and store it for future use Search for meaning? Understand reality and know how to interpret it correctly? Real learning actually means... This means: All learning is not done by reading books Most leaning is done outside the classrooms Much depends on our interaction with the environment (class room, friends, enemies, books, movies, nature, etc.) In whatever way one learns, if it does not result in behaviour modification, it is not learnt at all!  At its best, it will provide you with a conducive environment for learning What can this course do to YOU?  It could change your life, revolutionise your thinking, alter your perspective, develop your career, enrich your personal relationships, enhance your happiness quotient... What can this BUT... IF ONLY... course do to you? But... Only if... Only if... you WANT to change, the course can change you! You need to desire change To desire change, you need to believe that you can change; To change your belief, you need to have faith in the course If you start believing that the course can help you make positive change in your behaviour and have faith in the instructor, then-- You will start modifying your thoughts; and do lots of unlearning and relearning You will use good words, which guide your positive actions, Soon you will develop healthy habits, which will get reinforced in your character, and determine your destiny! Tips for gaining maximum benefit out of this course Preparing to Learn: Normal and Fuzzy Modes Normal: Download the videos as when it is posted in NPTEL Site. Have them on your lap top, desk top, mobile, wherever possible. Fuzzy: Download at least a day before the quiz or assignment ! Normal: Schedule an hour each day for learning the course. Choose a calm environment. As you watch the videos, listen carefully and keep a notebook for taking notes. Reflect on them before you sleep. Discuss with friends. Fuzzy: Watch the videos wherever it is possible for you. On your bed, inside the bus, while in restroom, while eating... But make it a point to finish the lessons before the weekly quiz. Jot down some points! Moving Ahead... Whether you want the Certificate or not... Sincerely attempt all quizzes, assignments and the final exam (this will help you assess your learning progress) The learning has to be experiential if you really want to have the behavioural change in you. This means— You need to be honest with yourself. You may have group discussions on concept clarity. But while answering the quizzes, rely on your own insights gained from the course. Assessment As we assess your learning progress, you may assess your personal progress. Ensure that each day, after learning each lesson, you will adapt to the new changes indicated. Practice the activities suggested for developing soft skills. Each week, seek to improve your personality!  Approaches to teaching soft skills Others: External factors; physical changes My approach: Aims at intrinsic factors and overall development of personality Changes that affect at all levels: Physical Mental Emotional Psychological Cultural Spiritual Developing Soft Skills and Personality (Personal and Professional Skills) Enhancing Soft Skills and Personality (Interpersonal and Management Skills)  8 Weeks: 6 Modules (25 mins) in a Week (48 modules—20 hours) Self-Assessment; Identifying Strength & Limitations; Habits, Will-Power and Drives; Developing Self-Esteem and Building Self-Confidence, Significance of Self-Discipline Understanding Perceptions, Attitudes, and Personality Types Mind-Set: Growth and Fixed; Values and Beliefs Motivation and Achieving Excellence; Self-Actualisation Need Goal Setting, Life and Career Planning; Constructive Thinking Communicating Clearly: Understanding and Overcoming barriers Active Listening; Persuasive Speaking and Presentation Skills Conducting Meetings, Writing Minutes, Sending Memos and Notices Netiquette: Effective E-mail Communication; Telephone Etiquette Body Language in Group Discussion and Interview May your journey of self-discovery begin...  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 2 Lecture 2 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur If God grants you one wish that would  Money make you  Intelligence happy and  Knowledge peaceful  Good looks forever,  Beautiful/handsome life partner what should you ask Him?   It will bring you everything that you need to live a happy and peaceful life!  Soft Skills are People Skills  Remember: It’s the people around you who are going to You should ask contribute to your success or failure. Him for  80% of your happiness and peace depends on the life or business partner with whom you spend your maximum time with! Soft Skills!  It’s important that you know how to interact with them to bring harmony and peace in your life!  Before you learn how to make them give what you want, you need to know what you really want in this life?! A Story to begin with... 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember ? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their Steve Jobs Commencement Address https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful... that’s what matters to me. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down...  How do you conceptualise the End One obvious meaning is DEATH Which means we have to ascertain our purpose, meaning, and mission in life and live a fruitful life before death catches us unawares. Other possible ways in which we can interpret END: End of this video; the course; your career at your college; new career at another place; new job; end of a job; new position; promotion; higher post; change in areas/fields, etc. End of the day; week; month; year; 5 years; 10 years; 15 years; 25 years; lifetime Plans ahead and set your goals and objectives. Do things that will have a meaning and make a difference in your life.  Answer these questions... What have you planned to do at the end of this course? What will you be doing at the end of your degree and graduation? Where will you be after 5 years; 10 years; 15 years; 25 years? What is your lifetime mission? How would you like to visualize it by breaking into small and achievable parts? What would you finally be as a self-actualized individual?  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 3 Lecture 3 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Soft skills are people skills  In fact, you should have a clear sense of purpose and  Your association and interaction vision based on which you with people contribute to success make your mission or failure in your life. statement!  8o% of your happiness quotient is  To be clearly purpose determined by your life partner or oriented, you need to begin Highlights boss—to whom you spend your maximum time with. with the end in mind. of the  So you need to work on your soft  Each day you need to begin a task with the result in Last Lecture skills and develop your personality to achieve what you mind. want in your life.  You should stop doing any task that will not add any  BUT : You need to be sure of what value to your life and you want in your life. development of your personality. Did you watch Steve Job’s Commencement Address? Perceptual Difference Perceptual Differences... When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. ~ Sam Lefkowitz One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, Is it half full or half empty? So I drank the water. No more problem. ~ Alexander Jodorowsky Remember your glass is half full not half empty, live life to the max and remember that no matter how bad your day is someone’s day is worse. An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. ~ Oscar Wilde It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Be thankful that you have a glass and grateful that there's something in it. Optical Illusions This is definitely one of the best-known optical illusions of all times! What do you see at first glance - an old woman or a young miss? They are both there!  Whole family mind teaser – father with mother and daughter  An old couple – see profiles of faces – is remembering the times when they were young and full of life - see the sitting characters Rabbit and Duck Moving Circles Looking at the things from other’s perspective e.g. Steven Covey’s paradigm shift (New York subway car)  Don’t be guided by prejudice!! Seek first to understand, then to be understood! -Stephen R. Covey 5th Habit  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 4 Lecture 4 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Human perceptions determine proper understanding in relationships.  Do not be satisfied with  Perceptions are bound to be doing the minimum different; often contradictory! required learning for this Highlights  Don’t be guided by prejudice. course.  Before showing your anger on  Learn eagerly from the of the somebody’s annoying behaviour extra materials suggested Last Lecture find out what makes the person to behave so.  such as Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective  Seek first to understand and then People and Steve Jobs’ to be understood (Steven Covey)! Commencement Address. Have I taught you some soft skills so far? Have you learnt any soft skills so far? If yes, what are they? Self-Management, Emotion Regulation & Time-Management Skills Implicitly I taught you in the 1 Module: Preparing and Planning In the 2nd Module: Self-awareness with regard to having a clear sense of purpose Thinking about the end-result before beginning a new task This helps in knowing your priorities Identifying high-value and low-value and no-value tasks Committing to do only high-value tasks Using will-power and perseverance to complete the tasks in time Understanding perceptual differences Empathising with others Self-Awareness Self- Self-Confidence Management Are you confident all the time? When are you over-confident? Skills Set When do you lack in confidence? Do you believe in you that you have strength and power within you to achieve anything? Mind-Set Do you have a positive or negative mind-set? Is your mind always looks at problems or comes out with solutions to problems? Do you have a rigid, fixed mind set, or a flexible and growth mind-set? Is your mind looking for opportunity to learn and grow even in difficult situations? Or, it indulges in complaining and blaming others? Emotional Balance Self- Handling Stress Management Do you remain cool, calm and collected in any situations? Are you strained when you interact with people at personal and Skills Set professional levels? Do you know how to come out of a stressful situation? Are you aware that the less stressful you are the more productive you will be? Coping with Failure Do you have the resilience to bounce back after a set- back? Do you have the persistence and perseverance to continue with your plan despite obstacles and oppositions? Do you have the will-power and determination to work with the same energy till your mission is accomplished? Patience, Tolerance & Trustworthiness Perceptiveness Self- Do you have the wisdom to Management Do you pay attention to the unspoken acts of communication? remain calm when others Do you feel that often people say something but they don’t mean rush? Can you patiently Skills Set it, or mean exactly the opposite? Is your mind open while wait for the appropriate listening to controversial ideas? Do you understand people correctly? time to initiate action? Do you have a high level of tolerance? Are you intolerant of people whose qualities annoy you? Spiritual Intelligence Can people trust you? Are Do you raise your life to a higher spiritual level? Do you responsible and people look up to as their role models? Do you have the committed? Do you speak the truth or occasionally instinct in you to change the world and make it a better tell lies? Do you have good place? Do you transcend the mundane pettiness and live standards of honesty and your noble self that is creative, loving, selfless, calm, integrity? Do you act ethically? compassionate, courageous and exemplary?  When you develop your emotional intelligence and live with high spiritual intelligence, your life will be so clear and transparent that even if anyone speaks badly of you no one would believe it!  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 5 Lecture 5 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Self-Management Skills Set  1. Self-Awareness  2. Self-Confidence  3. Mind-Set  Implicit Soft Skills taught: Highlights  Self-Management  4. Emotional Balance  5. Stress Handling of the  Emotion Regulation  6. Coping with Failure Last Lecture  Time-Management Skills  7. Patience, Tolerance & Trustworthiness  8. Perceptiveness  9. Spiritual Intelligence   Excellence is an outstanding  If you want to excel in feature; possessing good something, what do you qualities in high degree. need? Do you have it in you?  Some are gifted with many  Identify 5 traits in you that talents and excel in many will certainly take you to fields. excellence such as: Focused, strong will-power, highly Towards  Are you confident that you determined, very optimistic, dedicated, punctual, etc. are excellent in any one Excellence aspect of your life or career?  Are there other traits pulling you down from achieving  How do you rate yourself? excellence? How do people rate you? Poor, Average, Above  Laziness, postponement, Average, Good, Very Good, addictions (drug, TV, Outstanding/Excellent? internet), low self-esteem, self-doubts, negative thinking, etc.  Stronger Weaker Law of Abundance Poverty of Mind Courage Risk Inner Fear Restrictive Confidence Faith/Trust Core Low Self-Esteem Suspicion/Doubt Optimism Pessimism Growth mind-set Fixed Mind-Set Learns from failure Depressed from failure Expects the best Expects the worst Processing Excellence Kaizen Continuous improvement Knowing your Moving Forward Potential Identify your Enhanced Vision Creating a Vision Mission Need- Achieving your Achievement Kaikaku Vision Self-Actualisation (radical change) Growth Maslow’s Hierarchy Needs of Motivations Emotional Needs Basic Needs  Self-reliant and independent Self-Actualisation Uses own experiences for Highest level of need for personal judgment growth & self-fulfilment Natural and spontaneous Realization and fulfilment of one’s Continued freshness of talents and potentialities appreciation To actualise what one is Maintain deep loving bonds potentially Comfortable with solitude Expression of one’s creativity They can laugh at themselves Efficient perceptions of reality. Humble Comfortable acceptance of self and others Have peak experiences Spiritual enlightenment  “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be” - Abraham H. Maslow Less than 1% of adults achieve "self-actualisation...rarely total self-actualization happens...certainly in less than 1% of the adult population.“ The fact that "most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization" is “the psychopathology of normality.” (Towards a Psychology of Being)  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 1 Module 6 Lecture 6 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Processing Excellence:  Towards Excellence:  Making radical changes and making constant improvement  Outstanding feature, possessing  Moving from one vision/mission good qualities of high degree to other enhanced  Rating by self and others vision/mission  Self-actualisation: highest level  Identifying potentiality for of growth need Highlights excellence  Actualising of one’s potential,  Pursuing excellence by uniqueness and seeking self- of the strengthening the inner core fulfilment Last Lecture  Law of abundance vs. poverty of  Although few people achieve self-actualisation fully, it is mind important to aspire for it as the  Choices made out of fear unrealised and actualised people followed by regret vs. the ones remain unhappy throughout their lives! made out of courage and ends in fulfilment. David McClelland, The Achieving Society Desire to Control Desire to establish & Influence maintain good relations with other The desire to people do something better, to solve Three Needs problems, or to master complex tasks. achievement motivation (n-ach) authority/power motivation (n-pow) affiliation motivation (n-affil)  A desire to do well for the sake of an inner feeling of personal accomplishment. A desire to excel. To achieve a goal in relation to a set of standards. Strong need to set and accomplish challenging goals Willing to take calculated risks Optimistic and seeks feedback for constant improvement Always finds ways for doing things better Can work alone Achievement is more important than material reward Achievement gives greater personal satisfaction Maintains high standards Persists for longer Takes responsibility for own actions Intrinsically motivated  Spiritual Quotient Emotional Quotient Intelligent Quotient Physical Quotient Danah Zohar SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence, London: Bloomsbury, 2000 Defined 12 principles underlying spiritual intelligence: Self-awareness: Knowing what I believe in and value, and what deeply motivates me. Spontaneity: Living in and being responsive to the moment. Being vision- and value-led: Acting from principles and deep beliefs, and living accordingly. Holism: Seeing larger patterns, relationships, and connections; having a sense of belonging. Compassion: Having the quality of "feeling-with" and deep empathy. Celebration of diversity: Valuing other people for their differences, not despite them. Danah Zohar SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence, London: Bloomsbury, 2000 Defined 12 principles underlying spiritual intelligence: Field independence: Standing against the crowd and having one's own convictions. Humility: Having the sense of being a player in a larger drama, of one's true place in the world. Tendency to ask fundamental "Why?" questions: Needing to understand things and get to the bottom of them. Ability to reframe: Standing back from a situation or problem and seeing the bigger picture or wider context. Positive use of adversity: Learning and growing from mistakes, setbacks, and suffering. Sense of vocation: Feeling called upon to serve, to give something back. I now see spiritual intelligence as emerging from our most basic and primary need for and experience of deep meaning, essential purpose, and our most significant values and how these lead to a deeper, wiser, more questioning life and affect our decisions and experience. To become better, deeper, more spiritually intelligent people, we have to grow a dimension of our being that is sensitive to the deepest meanings of human life—a sensitivity, if you like, to Plato’s famous triad of values: Goodness, Truth, and Beauty. We must live our lives as a vocation, as a calling to the service of those deepest values. To do that, we must act from the higher motivations that can drive human behavior. This is a long-term project, requiring tenacity and commitment. - Danah Zohar Spiritual Capital