Developing Soft Skills & Personality Lecture Notes PDF

Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 1 Lecture 13 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities an...

Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 1 Lecture 13 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Why should you regulate stress?  For strengthening yourself and remaining cheerful  For completing jobs in time and create time for new jobs or just relax with family or friends.  When you regulate, you govern, moderate, control and give direction to stress. Highlights  Developing personal health habits, staying fit, eating in time, and of the sleeping well at night are important.  Being mindful in whatever you do, and working with a plan and Last Lecture taking frequent breaks from your work.  Concluded with some simple tips for quick relief from stress such as taking a cold or hot shower, talking to a friend, walking in a natural setting, listening to favourite/soothing music, deep breathing, watching a favourite movie, reading a favourite novel, or pages from motivating book, going to a temple, shopping in a mall, eating your favourite food and laughing.  HABITS ???? What does habit mean to you?   For most people, habit is something they do normally, spontaneously, regularly, without paying attention, without thinking or bothering about it... Habit-- Presumptions  They think that they can form a habit as well as break it easily.  Presume that breaking can be done as and when they want it.  It’s easy to form bad habits It’s difficult to form good habits Habits: Reality It’s difficult to break bad habits Habits are behavioural responses to stimuli. They are easily formed, and Frequent repetitions can make these responses form they die hard! behavioural patterns and function automatically.  Guiding Principles: 1. Bad habits do not need great How do you know efforts, will power and motivation either to form or maintain. (eating what are good and junk food) bad habits? 2. Often you want to hide your bad habits from others. You feel embarrassed or guilty once someone knows about it. (addictions, stealing) 3. But... There’s no way you can hide any bad habit in the long run. It shows on your health. Your body language reveals it. (smoking, not sleeping at night) Good habits are very difficult to form! Bad habits are very easy to form!  Identifying Bad Habits Story: Nails on the Wall. 4. Bad habits leave an indelible mark.  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 2 Lecture 14 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Habits and some presumptions associated with it  Such as you can form and change them easily.  Not all habits are easily formed; especially the good ones!  Most of our habits are unconscious behavioural Highlights responses to external stimuli. of the  Guiding principles to identify good and bad habits. Last Lecture  Bad habits, even changed, will still leave an indelible mark on your character.  Story of the nail on the wall.  Story: The Patient The Lesson 5. Both good habits and bad habits are formed by peer group influence and/or environment. But much depends on the individual perception and belief to retain a good habit or to change a bad habit. Guiding Principle: 6. Good/Bad Habit Bad habits give immediate satisfaction/gratification but results in poor long term results. Good habits do not give instant gratification but benefits with rich dividends in the long run.  Bad Good  Getting up early  Sleeping late night  Doing it in time  Delaying  Maintaining fitness and  Disinterest in health and keeping the surroundings clean The Good, the hygiene  Says only good things about Bad and the  Gossiping, criticising others others; develops self  Any excessive, addictive  Enjoys things in moderation; UGLY? habits (drinking, drugs) avoids harmful ones  Whiles away time in watching  Uses time discreetly TV, surfing the net  Eats in time, healthy food  Eats untimed, junk food  Being honest and  Stealing things trustworthy Just Another Story! The Mother Who Loved Her Son So Much!  The Lesson: Nip it in the Bud! 7. Forming bad habits are dangerous and extremely harmful. Therefore, it is better to nip a bad habit in the bud itself!  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 3 Lecture 15 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   The Doctor and the Patient  Both good habits and bad habits are formed by peer group influence and/or environment. Highlights  But much depends on the individual perception and belief to of the retain a good habit or to change a bad habit.  The Mother Who Loved Her Son So Much! Last Lecture  Forming bad habits are dangerous and extremely harmful.  Therefore, it is better to nip a bad habit in the bud itself! Everything is habit... Hard work is a habit; so is laziness/indolence Perseverance is a habit; so is giving up Success is a habit; so is failure Excellence is a habit; so is mediocrity Choosing to form good habits is a habit; so is choosing to form bad habits! Make the choice carefully! The Habit Cycle Thought/Stimulus Success/Failure Action/Reaction Reward/Punishment Action/Reaction Habit Character/Personality Formation/Reinforcement The decision to change... R. K. Narayan’s The Guide  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 4 Lecture 16 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur   Discussed about the importance of forming good habits because everything we do happens to be part of our habit formation. (Getting up in the bed to going back to it).  Habit Cycle: Thoughts/Stimulus—Action/Reaction— Reward/Punishment—Habit formation— Character/Personality—Action/Reaction— Success/Failure Highlights  The Decision to Change: Raju’s decision (in R. K. of the Narayan’s Guide) to change from a sinner to a martyr and saint. Last Lecture  The Lessons:  Circumstance do not make a man; it reveals him.  Writers like William Golding asserts that “The Beast is within us.” But R. K. Narayan implies that “The God is also within us.”  Conclusion: The ability to form bad habits as well as good habits lies within us. Why is that some are able to change their habits in a lightning second and others are not able to do in ages?  The answer lies in... Their level of self-awareness; knowing what is really good and bad for them. Perceiving correctly that a bad habit is really harmful despite its short gains or rewards. Most of the rewards are linked with Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter of human brain that is linked with motivation and reward. It is a chemical that induces pleasure. It gets released every time you feel joyful about something you have done—good or bad!  The answer lies in... Dopamine! It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits. Certain drugs stimulate its production, leading to high levels of activity causing ecstasy. Since its leaving causes depression or slowing down of energy, the brain quickly learns to seek out drugs that will stimulate production, leading to addiction. While Dopamine seeks those activities that gives you pleasure, it also motivates you to avoid unpleasant experiences. Thus, bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to seek pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable experiences—at least for that time being!  Countering Dopamine It’s difficult but not impossible... Accepting that sad and depressive times are part of our lives. There are normal and are required to experience the happiness of best times. Agony if it precedes, intensifies the experience of ecstasy that comes later. Auto telling our brain that it’s okay to be unhappy because you want to experience happiness. Reinforcing in the mind that you will stay calm and cool despite testing moments. Visualizing a fulfilling and meaningful life for the future.  Unhappiness out of emotional break-ups The Zeigarnik Effect: Bluma Zeigarnik (1900–1988), the Russian psychologist, first described the Zeigarnik effect in her 1927 doctoral thesis. Psychwiki.com: The Zeigarnik Effect is the tendency to experience intrusive thoughts about an objective that was once pursued and left incomplete. The automatic system signals the conscious mind, which may be focused on new goals, that a previous activity was left incomplete. It seems to be human nature to finish what we start and, if it is not finished, we experience dissonance. (http://www.psychwiki.com/wiki/Zeigarnik_Effect)  Unhappiness out of emotional break-ups The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete. Need to complete a task once it has been initiated. Incompletion of it leads to intrusive thoughts in the brain, which can stop only when the person returns to complete the task. Uncompleted tasks will stay on your mind until you finish them! That’s the reason why emotional break-ups are causes for long-time unhappiness!  Dealing with Emotional Break-Ups: The Dopamine Way! Mind treats an emotional break-up as an uncompleted task as so many activities were planned with a particular partner till the end of one’s life and career. That’s the reason why it’s difficult for many to come out of emotional break-ups! But the only solution is to give it a symbolic completion: literally burning or burying any remnants (photos, letters, messages, etc.). The brain needs to register this message of completion to move forward uninterruptedly and peacefully. Dealing with Emotional Break-Ups: The Dopamine Way!  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 5 Lecture 17 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur  Why is that some are able to change their habits in a lightning second and others are not able to do in ages? The answer lies in... Their level of self-awareness; correct perceptions of reality, and using Dopamine in a constructive manner. It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits. Highlights Bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to seek of the pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable experiences—at least for that time being! Last Lecture The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete. Emotional break-ups leave lots of incomplete tasks, hence, the dissonance. New goals: keeping fit or trying creative writing. This will release a new set of Dopamine every time a goal is achieved. Reminding of the bad things the other person did for you will help minimise the dopamine craving for the lost idyllic times and euphoric moments!  Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth. Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an activity and stick to it till its completion. If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important growth habit you need to inculcate in your personality! Because finishing it gives you a sense of completion, utmost satisfaction, and blissfulness and peace of mind. When move from one finished task to another, your confidence level will increase and you will be devoid of any anxiety. This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it is just the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it anyhow! Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth Brain needs to complete the cycle of an activity that we have started. So if you want to free the brain from addictive habits, you need not pattern any uncompleted task in it. Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying and blocking premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it. For this reason, you should stop watching any tele-serials if you want to free your mind from a chain of incomplete activities. The brain forms addictive behaviour such as compulsive TV serial watching till it receives the information that the whodunit is known and that the serial will not be continued anymore in the next week or the week after! Same thing happens while playing video games; they take you to a near level of closure but never let you reach it, by making you stick to it and get addicted perennially. Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth Used constructively, ZE can give you the motivation to make you leave from sick bed and complete the task at hand (as great artists have always done). Simple example: ear worms: songs that stick to your mind till you completely sing it or hear it! Brain is immersed in something that does not let you focus on task at hand. Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed intrinsic motivation to achieve or excel in any activity. You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to resolution of tension and adds to the feel-good factor. This above all, to thine ownself be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. -Shakespeare  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 5 Lecture 17 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur  Why is that some are able to change their habits in a lightning second and others are not able to do in ages? The answer lies in... Their level of self-awareness; correct perceptions of reality, and using Dopamine in a constructive manner. It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits. Highlights Bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to seek of the pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable experiences—at least for that time being! Last Lecture The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete. Emotional break-ups leave lots of incomplete tasks, hence, the dissonance. New goals: keeping fit or trying creative writing. This will release a new set of Dopamine every time a goal is achieved. Reminding of the bad things the other person did for you will help minimise the dopamine craving for the lost idyllic times and euphoric moments!  Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth. Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an activity and stick to it till its completion. If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important growth habit you need to inculcate in your personality! Because finishing it gives you a sense of completion, utmost satisfaction, and blissfulness and peace of mind. When move from one finished task to another, your confidence level will increase and you will be devoid of any anxiety. This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it is just the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it anyhow! Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth Brain needs to complete the cycle of an activity that we have started. So if you want to free the brain from addictive habits, you need not pattern any uncompleted task in it. Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying and blocking premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it. For this reason, you should stop watching any tele-serials if you want to free your mind from a chain of incomplete activities. The brain forms addictive behaviour such as compulsive TV serial watching till it receives the information that the whodunit is known and that the serial will not be continued anymore in the next week or the week after! Same thing happens while playing video games; they take you to a near level of closure but never let you reach it, by making you stick to it and get addicted perennially. Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth Used constructively, ZE can give you the motivation to make you leave from sick bed and complete the task at hand (as great artists have always done). Simple example: ear worms: songs that stick to your mind till you completely sing it or hear it! Brain is immersed in something that does not let you focus on task at hand. Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed intrinsic motivation to achieve or excel in any activity. You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to resolution of tension and adds to the feel-good factor. This above all, to thine ownself be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. -Shakespeare  Developing Soft Skills and Personality Week 3 Module 6 Lecture 18 Professor T. Ravichandran Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur  Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth. Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an activity and stick to it till its completion. If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important growth habit you need to inculcate in your personality! This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it is just the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it Highlights anyhow! of the Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying Last Lecture and blocking premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it. That’s why you should stop watching television-serials or any serialised programme. Video games use the same principle to give addiction to its players. Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed intrinsic motivation to achieve or excel in any activity. You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to resolution of tension and adds to the feel-good factor.   Process involves a rewiring of the brain and reconfiguring the habit-chain loop. Brain does not know how to differentiate the good from the bad habit.  Stop the way you started it—in tiny bits.  Alcoholic addiction starts with the first sip that was repulsive to Breaking Bad taste and body. Habits  Similarly, your first attempt in changing a bad habit has to start in a tiny bit and then gradually increase.  The frequency of use has to reduce.  Bad habits generally don’t disappear for ever. So are good habits. It’s like the hidden six-pack beneath a fat tommy!   Replacing a bad habit with a good habit  Reinforcing the good habit in testing times.  You procrastinate when you are overwhelmed to see a big task. As the saying goes, “You eat an elephant, bit by bit.” Divide huge tasks into manageable chunks. Brain releases dopamine Breaking Bad every time you complete a part and energises you to take the next part. Habits  Energy level sinks when you can’t see the finish line. Adrenaline pumps in when you can see it!  Most bad habits are formed because of a negative emotional state such as boredom, frustration or depression. So counter lethargy by activity. Keep yourself busy and overloaded in various aspects of your life and career.   You need develop good habits by keep one more Guiding Principle in mind: KEEP YOUR BRIAN LIGHT AND FREE  To keep your brain light and free, you need to shed lot of excess fatty content that it might have developed from bad habits.  Hence, practice good habits that will free your brain and mind Developing such as: Good Habits  1. Not leaving any task uncompleted. Any task left unattended will keep interrupting you till you get back to it and finish it.  2. If you refuse to finish it, it will hang heavy in your brain causing you less space for focussing and concentrating on new activities.  3. Reading a serialised novel, or watching a tele-serial is likely to wire you into the habit of becoming serial-addicts.   Go hand in hand  Good habits determine your level of efficiency and gain you lots of love and respect from your boss and colleagues.  They make you indispensable and irreplaceable, which would give you the ultimate sense of job security and satisfaction. Good Habits  Some habits of highly successful people worth inculcating in you: and Success  1. Be extremely hard working  2. Do the extra work with a smile, even if you don’t get paid.  3. Never look at your watch and work.   4. Work till you complete, so that your mind stays calm and you can sleep peacefully each night.  5. Focus on the most important goal Good Habits  6. Never spend more time on something that can be and Success completely avoided!  7. Concentrate 100%, you will finish it faster than the rest! You can live a life that truly works and you can achieve peak performance in all areas of your life. You can not only survive life’s unexpected changes and transitions but also thrive. Powerful change is possible. You are fully capable of creating a life that you choose. Shelley Stile, “Conscious Living - The Key To Positive And Lasting Change.” Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/671662