Chapter 3 CCRT: The World System PDF

CHAPTER 3 CCRT The World System "1he world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. Ifyou ar...

CHAPTER 3 CCRT The World System "1he world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. Ifyou are none ofthese, you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry." Ernest Hemingway, ' A Farewell to Arms' The world has produced a system utilizing man's natural needs plus abnormal wants equal- ing sin/abnormal behavior. To meet the wants of man, the human-race has embraced the abnormal and transformed it into a living organism of evil. The formula has not changed since man walked out of the garden. The system or formula for abnormal taints the lives of humaI).S like a subtle parasite. The world's system justifies the abnormal reality, calling the evil behavior good thus making it (abnormal behavior) the greater reality. The definition of "the greater reality" is natural and normal reality which is supplanted by abnormal reality and then promoted to normal. 24  CHAPTER 3 CCRT "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" (Isaiah 5:20 NAS) Reality Key Idea: The world system brands abnormality, culturally, socially, politically correct, desirable. Abnormal reality systematically and actively seeks to destroy normal and natural reality. Abnormal absolutely cannot coexist peacefully with normal. Reality Key Idea: It is critical to understand for the distortion of normal to occur, normal behaviors must be replaced with abnormal behaviors as acceptable. Reality Key Idea: Abnormal behavior must be adopted by individuals. It is always the individual which gives the abnormal the power to exist. Individuals give words power. Words in and of themselves are not powerful until a person emboldens the words to a concept; then the words give rise to action. Abnormality will not exist until the individual integrates the abnormal into their belief system. Families from the time of Adam and Eve provide the model for the five basic original conflicts. There are five reasons, and only five reasons, why families fail. The core of all failure can be pinned to these five original conflicts. All conflicts fl.ow out of these core conflicts. The five conflicts always begin as the five individual needs which are unmet. Normal and natural needs exist in individuals, thus THESE NEEDS EXPRESS THEMSELVES COLLECTIVELY IN FAMILIES. They are expressed individually in different stages of development within the family system. Universality these needs are expressed and experienced by all families; thus, abnormality is experienced by the family unit. In the family structure when the individual needs are not met, failure occurs. This failure then transfers directly into the family system as abnormal behavior. Imagine a child lying on the floor crying, kicking, and screaming because they did not get their way. 25 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY Your basic temper tantrum is universally done by all children. This is precisely what an abnormal want in action acts like! All good counselors would tell you to let the child kick and scream. Do not reward bad behavior with your attention. The same logic applies to abnormal behavior: DO NOT reward abnormal wants by indulging them! If the drunk threatens to leave, let her leave. They will be back. Indulging abnormal behavior only leads to the expansion and reinforcement of the behavior. Conversely, when a child is drowning in a pool and cries out, you jump in and save him. This is a natural and normal reaction to a need. Not to save the child would be an act of abnormal behavior or evil. Thus, crying in and of itself is not bad or good, it is a normal and natural behavior. All emotional response behavior has the potential to be normal or abnormal. The choice behind the behavior will determine the normal need or abnormal want. Reality Key Idea: Crying at a funeral is normal and natural. Crying to manipulate the cop giving you a ticket is abnormal. Yelling at a football game for your team is nor- mal. Whereas screaming at your wife because you got a speeding ticket is abnormal. Thus, emotion is neutral; it is the choices made which become abnormal or normal. (We control all our choices) The Watchmaker - The Watchmaker argument was written by William Paley, Natural Theology 1802. Paley, an English clergyman, wrote, "If a person found a watch in an emp- ty field, the obvious design of the watch would lead him to rightly conclude the watch had a watchmaker. Logic compels all men to conclude there is a designer behind the watch. Therefore, if the existence of a watch implies a watchmaker, then existence of the world implies an even greater Intelligent Designer (God)." Our universal needs are like the complicated workings of the manufactured watch. We are the product of a Master Design, not random chance. God the Father is our Master Designer. He has a master plan for all His creation. All designers have a master plan for their design. 26  CHAPTER 3 CCRT The question all men should legitimately ask, "What is the Master Designer's plan for my life?" "What did God intend when He created man or me?" All men and women should have expectations of their Master Designer, thus calling into question how reli- able the Master Designer plan will be in meeting each need of His created design needs. Remember God does not make junk. Reality Key: The Master Designer built into His design a set of needs for the design to function properly. Logic dictates man's ultimate reality, and best chance for success, is to follow the Master Designer's plan. So, what's the plan? God being real and eternal, He has design ex- pectations of all His creation. His creation (man) should have expectations of His Master Designer. The door swings both ways. It is legitimate to expect a real God to be quantitated, quantifiable, and qualified. The Father's desire is man not only follow His plan, but also understand His plan. God's intent is for you to completely understand His will. (Man came with directions) Mother Teresa wrote, "Let us more and more insist on raisingfunds oflove, ofkindness, of understanding, andpeace. Money will come ifwe seek.first the Kingdom of God, the rest will be given." She was talking about the Master's plan and design for man. Every time I have had the pleasure of working with a young man who wants to go into the ministry, the first thing he wants to study is 'biblical Greek or some deep mystery in the Bible'. The question I always ask him is, "Have you read the Bible from cover to cover?" First things first, learn what the Father's master design for your life is and success will be guaranteed. Logic dictates if you follow the Designers instructions your life will work far better. Reality Key Idea: Man is both the design and creation of God's work. Humanity was exclusively created with design and purpose. The world was created for man to be the operator of God's work. Logic would direct all men should learn as much as possible about the master design and the operating instructions. This is rational, but man does it 27 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY backwards. We start driving long before we read the operation manual. Then the design system breaks; then we read the direction book. When man's normal and natural needs are ful:filled, real life success is realized. Success is always measurable by the 5 needs being met. If God openly meets all needs, then there are NO secret needs. If it is God who created all the needs of man, it is reasonable to ex- pect God has a plan to meet men's needs. The Master's plan should lead man to a successful, normal reality. It is logical for God the Master Designer to set the design parameters for how man should have his needs met successfully. All of man's inventions have design parameters. Example: what speed a car may safely travel. Even the most abstract inventions of man have design rules: medicine, cell phone, computers, sports, games, board games, roads, education, taxes, and even rules for war. We are the living, earthly reflection of our Master Design. God's very essence lives in His creation. This also makes man the most elegantly complex of all creations. Man and God alone have elective sentient freewill. Animals do not mate because they fall in love, they encode instinctual behavior or a need to drive this action; it is not a choice of freewill. Reality Key: God has a master plan which is unchanging and available for all men to follow His plan, the only real normal in the universe. Outside of God's master plan there is only chaos or abnormality. Genesis 2:18 states, "1hen the LORD God said, "It is not goodfar the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitablefar him." Buddy, it is a good thing God did. God foresaw all the human male's weaknesses and built him a helper. The following are some of the reasons men can't make it alone. God worried Adam would become lost in the Garden of Eden and refuse to ask for directions. God knew Adam would never make a doctor's appointment. God knew when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, 28  CHAPTER 3 CCRT but God knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains of childbirth. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else. These are just a few of the reasons why Adam needed Eve. I have a CPA who does my taxes, a barber who cuts my hair, and a dentist who takes care of my teeth. If I bought a home do-it-yourself root canal dental drill kit and worked on my own teeth, you would call me crazy. The same logic applies to the man who goes to the bar, gets drunk, and counsels with the bartender about his material problems. Most people consider the family unit to be the most important part of their life. When family relationship problems arise many never consider counseling even as an option. Have you ever noticed how much interpersonal relationship counseling Jesus did in His ministry? Not to mention how many outdoor family workshops he hosted? He counseled around the dinner table, traveling, resting and working (fishing). In fact, the most quoted passages of the New Testament are directly related to Jesus' interpersonal interaction with people. Counseling is not only wise, but it is the example Jesus gave us to problem solve. Jesus was the master of inductive and deductive reasoning. Of course, when you are God, logic was a key tool in creation. When individuals fail to have their needs met, they will always seek out a system to meet their needs, always. Example: A person who has a chemical imbalance. This condi- tion most often leads to depression. Many times, the individual will self-medicate with alcohol or drugs exacerbating the issue. If the individual's depression is left untreated, it will lead to an abnormal system of self-medication. In the 21st century 50% percent of all alcoholics in the USA are chronically and pervasively depressed. The reported statistic is undoubtedly low. Most individuals never seek treatment for the condition. The reality is much higher than documented. Reality Key: The longer the conflicts exist, the more a person will seek out a failed abnormal system of unrealistic wants to meet their needs. A wife uses sex to punish her husband for not making enough money to meet her unrealistic wants. Next, the man turns to pornography, then finally to a prostitute or girlfriend. This is a simple but accurate 29 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY example of the conflict between normal and abnormal reality. The conflict will continue to grow larger and more abnormal. Unless the core of the problem is identified and redi- rected back to normalcy. First, abnormal wants to tear down the normal human needs. This happens by redi- recting reality and next justifying the bad behavior. "You won't have sex with me, so I have to use porn to get my fix." Then abnormality turns or transforms the normal needs into abnormal wants. Next, abnormality artificially meets the wants, however the guilt the man feels is real adding to the conflict. He will justify his behavior due to the fact the abnormal behavior is still meeting his needs. The abnormal system forms individual and corporate conflicts. These unresolved con- flicts affect the mind, body, and spirit simultaneously. Abnormality never exists in a vacu- um; it consumes all three parts of man. The news reported recently a police officer married with children was downloading kiddy porn and storing it on his police computer. When discovered, charges were filed and he lost his career of many years, his marriage, and ulti- mately, he committed suicide. Reality Key: Abnormal reality always leads to greater destruction and collateral dam- age to the lives the abnormality touches. Consider the teacher who sleeps with her teenage student, or the drunk driver who kills a family from behind the wheel. The term damage to self and others always applies to abnormal reality. The world is so consumed with ab- normality the normal gets lost in the fog. Therefore, absolutes are necessary to establish a baseline for normalcy. Reality Idea: Sit in the counselor~ chair. You are engaged in a counseling conversation with a married couple. Start by making a statement naming the 5 original areas of conflict. Holding up one hand you ask the question and list the 5 conflict reasons. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in your 30  CHAPTER 3 CCRT marriage are you experiencing conflict in any of the following areas? State the probing question as follows, "are there any issues surrounding the following areas: children, money, significant others, sexual issues, and religious or spiritual issues?" What you will discover is most people, by the time they come to counseling, four out of five areas are in conflict. There will be many subsets and variations of the 5 conflicts, but they all lead back to the basic 5. The five areas are just like the four flat tires and a flat spare. Reality Key Idea: All Conflicts leave a trail oflife decay and debris. All five categories operate independently, yet all interact supporting the other con- flicts. It is like the man who forgot to take out the trash; next thing he knows, his wife is yelling at him for his missed deed. Next, she's listing his lack of money, the lack of time spent with her, and the stupid thing he did at their wedding ten years ago. She ends with, ''You just don't love me." What does any of this have to do with not taking out the trash? Nothing! She is simply expressing her needs are not being met. PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME CONFLICTS OVER THE SAME THINGS WORLDWIDE. Right now, there is some poor guy in India being yelled at about mon- key poop on the driveway, his mother's behavior at the wedding 10 years ago, and it ends with you just don't love me! These conflicts are formed from naturally unfulfilled needs. The harder it is to meet an individual's needs, the more important the "want' and the great- er the conflict. Reality key: All Conflicts Have a Starting Place. The five conflicts allow for problem identification in concrete terms. The Book Rule of 52 is a real and tangible cure for redi- recting conflict and creating a plan of action leading to a cure. Vague humanistic psychology always speaks in psychobabble terms. Counseling and psychology colorful jargon-ish terms have developed more than clinical descrip- tive terminology. These very words have become a cultural philosophy with little to no 31 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY practical application. Example: Action Potential, Availability Heuristic, Coercive Power, Fundamental Attribution Error, Cathartic and Self-Awareness, the need for counselors to sound like a co~nselor using the vocabulary of the world of psychobabble to fortify their own position, (Make themselves sound smart.) The world of the web, T.V., and social me- dia have fortified the inaccurately and simply invented, re-defined or misused legitimate terms. The real causality is the once useful terms which now have lost usefulness. This generation has fully arrived at the 21st century 'culture of psychobabble'. ''You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless." Mathew 5:13 The humanistic counselors ask questions like, "Tell me, 'How does it make you feel?"' The question is not relevant to the cure! Yes, there is a real cure. How you feel is dealing with your emotions, not the individual core conflict. Feelings are a byproduct of a conflict, not the conflict itsel£ Treating a symptom (feelings) is like giving a patient aspirin to cure cancer. In couples counseling, most often love is not the problem. Couples counseling is very difficult. It is far better to start with individuals and ultimately end with the couple. The conflicts (unfu1fi.lled needs) are choking the love out of the relationship. You can love someone and still not be able to live with any person happily. If the absence oflove is the couple's legitimate problem, why stay a couple? You are not Cupid nor a T.V. talk show psychobabbles nor do you hold the magical arrow oflove. Reality Key: Bad behavior and love are very different things. All humans have five needs and five conflicts. Understanding what is wrong in CCRT is the diagnosis. A real diagnosis gives an opportunity to understand and help facilitate a fix to a problem. When I take my car to the auto mechanic, the mechanic does not ask me how I feel about my car being busted! He knows how I feel. I am mad, inconvenienced, and hoping it does not cost too much to fix. The mechanic must first diagnose the car's problem, next he will give me an explanation and estimate and finally he fixes the car. 32  CHAPTER 3 CCRT Once my car is fixed (my need is met), I now have transportation to meet the needs of myself and family. Identifying the five real conflicts is a starting point to repair all relationships (diagno- sis). Once the conflicts are identified, then and only then can you develop a clear plan for success (the cure). If you have too much month at the end of the money, then you need to spend less or earn more money or do both. For a family or individual to continue in the same direction of failure will create almost unbearable family consequences. A lack of money at the end of each month can result in the car being repossessed, the lights being cut off, or the kids going hungry. Any or all these problems will ignite a spark of additional family problems. The core conflict is still the lack of funds! Reality Key: Your choice, you can plan for success or plan for failure, but you cannot do both. I know the philosophical question, "BUT WHAT IF you plan to succeed and still fail?"The answer is you are still planning success, NOT failure. If you PLAN TO FAIL, you will succeed at failure 100% of the time! A clear identification of what abnormal wants are driving the conflicts is critical to success. There is a clear wrong direction and a clear right direction in all plans. Identifying the real individual or family needs is essential for making any normal, need-meeting de- cisions. It is imperative to know the wrong direction to correct and change your course. It is always necessary to have the right direction mapped out. The more mankind discovers in science, the more God's absolutes are affirmed. Sir Isaac Newton was blessed with the privilege of explaining some of God's natural laws and absolutes. Today we call Newton's law's Physics. Newton's laws are simply explanations of God's order and rule of the universe. Consider Newton's motion laws. One states, ''An object continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line except insofar as it may be compelled to change the state by action of some outside force." In user-friendly terms, a natural state of motion is at a constant velocity. If the constant velocity is doing nothing or equal to zero, we say 33 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY the body is at rest. The earth's forces are constantly in motion, so the only place to truly experience a constant state of velocity is in outer space where absolute zero gravity is experienced. From the time you are conceived in the womb you are aging and changing (in a con- stant state of motion) until you physically reach O (death). Relationships operate under God's laws of relationship physics of motion and change. Possible outcomes 1&2: Applying the law of motion to the five real conflicts. First, each human remains in a state of rest until a force (need) is applied. Secondly, once a human is set in motion, he will stay in motion until he encoun- ters friction (unmet normal needs). Thirdly, an individual will stay on course until individual change occurs. The change is the need turning into abnormal wants, then conflict. Fourth, an individual will stay on course until individual change occurs. 1he normal need is met by normal reality. Conflict always occurs when needs are not met. Outcome number two, an individual will remain in a state of rest until a force (need) is applied. Next, if the need is met the outcome is normal and complete. (Simple natu- ral science.) Understanding the Cure for Abnormal Reality Reality Key: Once Abnormal Is Set in Motion and Left Unchanged, It Will Not Self-Cure. Abnormal reality will grow and manifest into a variety of symptoms, which can also become as big a problem as the original problem. Abnormal reality (WANTS AND UNMET NEEDS) is clearly identifiable. 34  CHAPTER 3 CCRT Reality Key: Abnormal reality takes on mass and form. The individual will always ACT OUT the abnormality physically, mentally, and spiritually in their life. The action will occur simultaneously and independently with the other 5 areas of need. God is powerful and capable of producing change. An ocean liner's rudder changes direction, but the ship will often travel 1 or 2 miles before it changes course direction. The amount of force, weight, and mass of the object must be proportional to effect change in direction. It takes more force to throw a cannon- ball than a baseball. If you have a cannonball sized problem, you need a cannonball sized solution. Pastor James did not know anything about physics, but he understood the power of nature.James also concluded it always takes time to change any direction. James 3:4 states, "Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, they are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination ofthe pilot desires." The Family is in The Boat To effect change and a cure, it is critical to understand it is NOT necessary to get everyone to go in the right directfon at the same time. It is like dieting. Yes, it's easier if everyone in the family will participate, but you are the one who decided to lose weight. Thus, you and you alone are now motivated to change. You CANN OT use others as an excuse to fail or succeed. It is easier to make the trip with everyone onboard. When it comes right down to it, the positive successful change in your life could be the catalyst of motivation for others. "Not my mother or myfather, but it's me, 0 Lord, standing in the need ofprayer; not my mother or my father, but it's me, 0 Lord, standing in the need ofprayer." (African American Spiritual) 'Ihe Rule of 52 is serious CCRT corrective surgery. Get it and read the book; it was written based on CCRT. ''A friend of mine just had eye surgery to replace a lens. After the surgery, I asked, "What difference did the surgery make?" He replied, "I can see!" (The Rule of 52) 35 CHRIST CENTERED REALIT Y THERAPY FOR THE 2 1ST CENTURY Reality Key: Understanding a Subset of Conflict Dr. J. Vernon McGee said, "Incompatibility means he doesn't have enough income and she's not very pat-able."The five conflicts can be found in Dr. McGee's light-hearted quote. The man needs a job, which falls under money. The ever-expanding details of the conflict include unpaid bills, car repair, children's braces, school lunches, birthday parties, and envy of relative's financial success. The first conflict categories are children, money, and extendedfamily. The second part of McGee's quote, "she's not very pat-able," is in the category of sex. The woman has asked all her hair salon friends to pray for her husband because he is a poor provider. The hair salon customers are friends from church, and they are quick and faithful to share with others at the church what a loser she has married. Next, they need to take up a collection for the family. The conflict has now escalated to religi-on, extendedfamily/so calledfriends, children, and money. All five conflicts continue to grow. The couple's emotions intertwine between the problems, which easily become the focus and not the real need or the concrete legitimate substance of the conflict. Reality Key's Examples of the Five Conflicts in Motion: The conflicts of young couples pursuing marriage include children, money, friends, fam- ily, religion, and sex. Some of the conflict subsets: when to have children and how many, management of existing debt, cost of the wedding, employment, newly formed friends, families, the guest list, family traditions, past relationships, religion in the church, family belief systems, sex, pregnancy, and trust. Now imagine an older couple getting remarried for the second time. They also are facing the five areas of conflict prior to marriage; the older couple will even have more than the young couple as the 5 conflicts are exacerbated by time. Second marriages typical conflicts are: stepchildren, two houses, possessions, existing holiday traditions, existing 36  CHAPTER 3 CCRT debt, reorganizing family, friends, ex-spouses, child support, and sexual issues. The list is almost endless. It does not matter if you are a young couple from Ireland or Japan. Or a couple on their second marriage from India, Russia, or Canada. You deal with the exact same :five conflicts because everyone has the same :five basic needs. Culture and societies change but not human need. The Reality Key to All Conflicts: The Same Solutions Apply Worldwide. THE FIVE NEEDS: 1. Survival- physical instinct 7he remaining/our basic needs effect and affect the individual and all relationships: 2. Love- Positive relationships and most powerful driving human force 3. Power - Self worth 4. Freedom- Free will 5. Fun - Joy The Five Conflicts: 1. Children 2. Money 3. Extended family 4. Sex 5. Religion The Five Rules of the Harvest: 1. You reap what you sow 2. You reap more than you sow 3. You reap exactly what you sow 4. You reap each and every time you sow 5. You reap later than you sow 37 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY Individuals know the needs. They know the co,zjl.ict. (1his does not mean pe"!Jple understand the meaning or the complexity of their needs. Most of the focus is on the subsets created by the needs) The Five Toxic Stages identified by CCRT: 1. Survival- the individual's need to have a relationship. This is a physical instinct. 2. Love - The Toxic Predator manipulates all relationships. Love is an object used as control. 3. Power - The Toxic Predator grooms the victim and installs a negative self- worth. 4. Freedom -The Toxic Predator controls the victim's reality and free will installing control. 5. Fun - Joy -The normal reality of the victim is replaced with abnormality and the toxic cycle of life events is perpetuated. (Read the Unanticipated Chicken for clear under- standing ofToxic Relationships) Each person has five basic core needs. From these five needs all other human needs and wants are created. There are five basic conflicts which are created by these basic needs. These conflicts are universal to all humans. A want is different from a need. A want is always driven by culture and society. A need is an individual, naturally occurring process. A need is all natural; you are born with needs. A want is always learned. A want is a man-made idea which is chosen to meet natural needs. A positive natural need can never become abnormal. (Only the pe~version of the natural need can be abnormal.) 38  CHAPTER 3 CCRT CCRT CHAPTER 3 Study Gulde Questions: 1. Make a list of 10 or 15 ideas and concepts of 21st century abnormal, anti-moral activ- ities for society at large. These are concepts which culture and society have accepted as normal. 2. Explain your list in a clear 'inductive argument'. "Reality Key Idea: The world system makes abnormality politically correct and desirable. Abnormal reality systematical- ly and actively seeks to destroy normal and natural reality. Abnormal cannot coexist peacefully with normal." 3. Qyestion: Every action has at the core a motivation. What could be some of the mo- tivations for the replacement of NORMAL in individual lives? "Reality Key Idea: For the distortion of normal to occur ~ormal and acceptable behaviors must be replaced with abnormal behaviors." Directions: list and discuss some events, ideas and concepts which replace NORMAL in lives. 4. Qyestion: Explain in detail what the following quote means in light of the text, "Words in and of themselves are not powerful until a person emboldens the words to action'' "Reality Key Idea: Abnormal behavior must be adopted by an individual be- cause it is the individual which gives abnormal its power. Just as a person gives words their power. Words in and of themselves are not powerful until a person emboldens the words to action. Abnormality will not exist until the individual integrates the ab- normal into their belief system." 5. Qyestion: "The humanistic counselors ask questions like, "Tell me, 'How does it make you feel?"'Ihe question is not relevant to the cure! Yes, there is a real cure. How you feel is dealing with your emotions, not the individual core conflict. Feelings are a byprod- uct of a conflict, not the conflict itsel£ Treating a symptom (feelings) is like giving a patient aspirin to cure cancer." As a counselor, chaplain, pastor, teacher, Doctor, lawyer 39 CHRIST CENTERED REALITY THERAPY FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY or store clerk, how do you identify what is a feeling and a concrete problem using the five conflicts~ (This is a skill which is clearly identified in another chapter) what would you do at this point using the 5-confilct list? 6. Qµestion "Reality key: once abnormal is set in motion and left unchanged, it will not self-cure." Self-cure is like telling a pencil to spell check your test paper. What would be things you would tell a person with a problem like alcoholism at this point using the 5 conflicts? Start off with the list of the 5 areas in a question format. 40