Topic 9__Attraction and Relationships__SV.pptx

Attraction and Relationships Topic 9 Overview of Topics Attraction and Relationships Making Connections in the Digital World Forming Close Relationships Why Do We Love? Maintaining Close Relationships Attraction & Relationships Attraction and relationships are fundamental to people o Acqua...

Attraction and Relationships Topic 9 Overview of Topics Attraction and Relationships Making Connections in the Digital World Forming Close Relationships Why Do We Love? Maintaining Close Relationships Attraction & Relationships Attraction and relationships are fundamental to people o Acquaintances o Friends o Love Attraction What causes attraction? Propinquity Effect: o The finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends o Mere Exposure Effect Similarity o Values, attitudes, beliefs, demographics, activities o Some evidence for personality (contextual) o Similar people will like us and validate us o Attraction can lead to perceptions of similarity Attraction What causes attraction? Reciprocal Liking: o When you like someone and that person also likes you o Self-fulfilling prophecy Physical Attractiveness o Often one of the strongest predictor of attraction in romantic relationships o Important in both romance and friendships o Research: • Walster et al. (1966): “Computer dance” • Feingold (1988): Meta-analysis; couple match in attractiveness o Automatic and controlled thinking Making Connections in the Digital World Who forms friendships online? o Social Compensation Hypothesis: people who are lonely, introverted, or lack social skills o Social Enhancement Hypothesis: people with strong social skills o Research supports both Are online friendships as strong as real-world friendships? o o o o o Online provides social and emotional support Online may have less depth and intimacy People are happier with their real-world relationships Offline relationships may have more longevity Offline associated with better physical and mental health Making Connections in the Digital World Online Romantic Relationships o Broadens “thin markets” o More opportunity – similar success rate People control self-presentation o Embellish traits and positive qualities o Self-disclose more readily o Relationships may start and end quicker Forming Close Relationships  What does it mean to love? o Intimacy, attachment, and passion (Rubin, 1970, 1973) Passionate Love: o The feelings of intense longing accompanied by physiological arousal, we feel for another person o Leads to joy when reciprocated, despair when not Companionate Love: o The feelings of intimacy and affection we feel Forming Close Relationships Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: o A theory that love has three components: intimacy, passion, commitment, and the amount and type of love someone experiences depends on the strength of these three components. o These combine to form different loving experiences Gender and Love: o Men may fall in love faster; “love at first sight” o Women may be more practical o Women and men both rate companionate love Culture and Love Cultures vary in their experiences and approaches to love o Romantic love is valued more by Western people and less by Eastern people o Differences in partner selection Research Examples: o Levine et al. (1995): examined 11 cultures • Marrying for love was most important in Western countries o Schmidt et al. (2009): examined 48 nations • Love and romance were more important in West, lowest in East Asia o Sorokowski et al (2023): examined modernization and collectivism • Triangular theory of love • More of all three types of love in modernized societies • Intimacy and commitment are more related to collectivist countries Why Do We Love? Evolutionary Explanations o Reproductive success drives mate selection and attachment  Reproduction is “costly” for women o Women are pickier, prefer resources and status; men prefer physical attractiveness o Alternative Explanation: social roles and power Why Do We Love Attachment Theory: o The theory that our behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents or caregivers Secure Attachment Style: characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and loved Avoidant Attachment Style: characterized by a suppression of attachment needs because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style: Characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety Recent research suggests that people can have multiple attachment styles o Stable styles, but these are not fixed traits Maintaining Close Relationships Social Exchange Theory: o How people feel about a relationship depends on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship they deserve, and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else • Reward/Cost ratio • Comparison level & comparison for alternatives Investment Model: o The theory that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on satisfaction with the relationship in terms of: • Rewards and costs • Comparison level & comparison for alternatives • Investment in relationship Maintaining Close Relationships Equity Theory: o People are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs that a person experiences and the contributions that are made to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person Commitment: the “glue” that holds relationships together o Relationship Identification  longer and more satisfying relationships o Forgiveness Positive Illusions: o Idealization of our romantic relationships and partner in order to maintain the relationship o Redeeming features The End