SLS Notes Chp 3 PDF

SLS Notes 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept 1Understanding the Self: Self Concept Interpersonal communication begins with you and your understanding of yourself. Who are you? How do you relate to others? What is the self in myself ? Answering those questions allows you to communicate and form relationships with a solid understanding of who you are and what you have to o er. In this section, we examine the self-concept and consider various inﬂuences on its development. We probe how individuals manage their identities in day-to-day life and how communication with others reﬂects one’s self-concept. What Is a Self-Concept? Think about the ways you would answer the question “Who am I?” What words would you choose? Which answers would be most important? Each of us has a set of ideas about who we are that isn’t inﬂuenced by moment-to-moment events (such as “I’m happy right now”) but is fairly stable over the course of life (such as “I’m a happy person”). Your self concept, also called your identity, is composed of your stable ideas about who you are. Self-concepts have three fundamental characteristics: They are multifaceted, partly subjective, and enduring but changeable. SELF-CONCEPTS ARE MULTIFACETED We deﬁne ourselves in many ways. Some ways rely on our names: “I’m Michaela”; “I am Bill.” Some rely on physical or social categories: “I am transgender”; “I’m Australian.” Others speak to our skills or interests: “I’m artistic”; “I’m a good cook.” Still others are based on our relationships to other people: “I am an uncle”; “I do volunteer work for homeless children.” Finally, some rely on our evaluations of ourselves: “I am an honest person”; “I am an impatient person.” Page 74 Each of those descriptions taps into one or more parts of a person’s self-concept, and in this sense the self-concept is multifaceted. Put another way, what we call the self is actually a collection of smaller selves, as Figure 1 depicts. If you identify as female, that’s part of who you are, but it isn’t everything you are. If you’re Asian, athletic, agnostic, or asthmatic, these may all be parts of your self-concept, but none of these terms deﬁnes you completely. All the di erent ways you would describe yourself are pieces of your overall self-concept. https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept FIGURE 1 Multiple Selves What we call the self is actually a collection of smaller selves, each representing only one aspect of who a person is. (Neighbor): Philip Coblentz/age fotostock; (Musician): Design Pics/Ron Nickel/Getty Images; (Daughter): ColorBlind Images/Blend Images LLC; (Workout Partner): Comstock/Getty Images; (Activist): cdrin/Shutterstock; (Mother): Fuse/Getty Images; (Attorney): AJR_photo/Shutterstock One way to think about your self-concept is to distinguish between aspects of yourself that are known to others and aspects that are known only to you. In 1955, American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham created the 1 Johari window, a visual representation of the self as composed of four parts. According to the model (Figure 2), the open area consists of characteristics SLS Notes that are known both to the self and to others. That probably includes your name, gender, hobbies, and academic major, and other aspects of your self-concept that you are aware of and freely share with others. In contrast, the hidden area consists of characteristics that you know about yourself but choose not to https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 2/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept reveal to others, such as emotional insecurities or past traumas that you elect to keep hidden. FIGURE 2 The Johari Window Page 75 An innovative aspect of the Johari window is that it recognizes dimensions of people’s self-concept of which they may be unaware. For instance, others might see you as impatient or volatile though you don’t recognize those traits in yourself. Those characteristics make up the third part of the model, the blind area. Finally, the unknown area comprises aspects of your self-concept that are not known either to you or to others. For example, no one—including you—can know what kind of parent you will be until you actually become a parent. Likewise, no one can know how you would handle a life threatening illness unless you experienced one. These four parts of the Johari window— open, hidden, blind, and unknown—are not necessarily of equal importance for each individual. For example, Raisa keeps many aspects of her self-concept to herself, so her hidden area is much larger than the other https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 3/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept parts of her Johari window. In contrast, people describe Aaron as an “open book,” meaning that he keeps little about his self-concept private. Thus, for Aaron, the open area is the largest area. The areas of the Johari window can also change in importance as a person’s experiences change. For instance, when Denae was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she discovered emotional strength, compassion, and a sense of humor that she and others never knew she had. That experience moved those aspects of her self-concept from her unknown area to her open area. Your own open, hidden, and blind areas of the Johari window are relevant to your image, including the image you portray in social media. When you create a social media proﬁle, for instance, you choose to share particular information about yourself with others (part of your open area), but you decide to keep some details private (part of your hidden area). Other people’s proﬁles or social media posts may also contain information about you that you aren’t aware of but that others can see (part of your blind area). Because the internet is so vast, managing your online image can seem like a never-ending task. It’s an important skill, though, as the “Assess Your Skills” box emphasizes. assess your skills GOOGLE YOURSELF: MANAGING YOUR ONLINE IMAGE Creditors, potential employers, and even prospective romantic partners use the internet to learn about you. Will you like what they ﬁnd? To assess your online image, type your name into google.com and explore the ﬁrst dozen websites that the search identiﬁes that are SLS Notes relevant to you (rather than to someone else with your name). Then respond with “true” or “false” to each of the following statements. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Nearly everything I saw about myself online was positive. I came across information I wouldn’t necessarily want others to have about me. I would be ﬁne knowing that a prospective romantic partner was looking at these websites. I found pictures of myself that I wouldn’t be comfortable letting my employer see. Most people would have a positive impression of me after seeing the websites I found. Some of the information I found might make me look irresponsible. I’d feel comfortable letting my parents read the websites I came across. I wouldn’t want someone coming across these websites before going out with me. All in all, I feel good about the information and photographs of myself that I found. 4/14 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept 10. At least some of what I found online about myself was troubling. It’s best if you answered “true” to the odd- numbered statements and “false” to the even-numbered statements. If any of your answers were otherwise, consider taking steps to alter the online content. If the information or photos that concern you appear on websites over which you have some control—such as your social media proﬁle and a friend’s personal web page—remove the material or make it viewable only by close acquaintances. This may be a particularly important consideration before you go on a job interview. SELF-CONCEPTS ARE PARTLY SUBJECTIVE Some of the details we know about ourselves are based on objective facts. For instance, I’m 5 feet, 8 inches tall and have brown hair, I was born in Washington but now live in Arizona, and I teach college for a living. Those aspects of my self-concept are objective, which means they’re based on fact and not on someone’s opinion. That doesn’t mean I have no choice about them. I chose to move to Arizona and get a teaching job, and although I was born with brown hair, I could change my hair color if I wanted to. Referring to those personal characteristics as objective simply means that they are factually true. Many aspects of our self-concept are subjective rather than objective. “Subjective” means that they’re based on our impressions of ourselves rather than objective facts. Importantly, it’s often di icult for us to judge ourselves accurately or objectively. Page 76 Sometimes our self-assessments are unreasonably positive. For instance, you might know people who have unrealistic ideas about their intelligence, special talents, or understanding of the world or other people. In one study, the College Board (the company that administers the SAT college entrance examination) asked almost a million U.S. high school seniors to rate their ability to get along with others. Every single student in the study responded that they were “above average,” which is mathematically impossible! Moreover, 60 percent claimed their ability to get along with others was in the top 10 percent, and a whopping 25 percent rated themselves in the top 1 percent, both of which are highly improbable. 2 3 In contrast, sometimes our judgments of ourselves are unreasonably negative. That is especially true SLS Notes for people with low self-esteem. Several studies have shown that such people tend to magnify the importance of their failures. They often underestimate their abilities, and when they get negative feedback, such as a bad evaluation at work or a disrespectful remark from someone they know, they are likely to believe that it accurately reﬂects their self- worth. Multiple studies have also suggested that people with low self esteem have a higher-than-average risk of experiencing major depressive disorder, a condition that impairs not only an individual’s mental and emotional well-being but also physical health and the quality of social relationships. 4 People with high self-esteem tend to minimize the importance of negative feedback, treating it as a ﬂuke or a random event. We’ll look more closely at how self-esteem https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 5/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept inﬂuences our interpersonal communication behaviors later in the chapter. Page 77 SELF-CONCEPTS ARE ENDURING BUT CHANGEABLE For the most part, the self-concept develops slowly, over a lifetime. As we’ll see, many factors a ect how our self-concept comes together, including biological makeup, how and where we were raised, and the kinds of people with whom we spend our time. 5 Those and other inﬂuences create an understanding of the self that is not easily changed. In fact, several studies have shown that once we develop a self-concept, we tend to seek out others who will conﬁrm it by treating us as we see ourselves. If you’re someone with a positive self-concept, for instance, you’ll likely associate with friends, coworkers, classmates, and relatives who also have a positive impression of you. In contrast, if your self-concept is negative, you may be more likely to surround yourself with people whose impression of you is also negative. When you associate with people who see you as you see yourself, your self-concept is continually reinforced, and it becomes even more resistant to change. 6 Self-concepts do change, however, in response to developmental changes and signiﬁcant life events. As we go through developmental changes in life, for instance, many of us grow to feel more positive or less positive about ourselves. One study reported that between the ages of 14 and 23—a period when changes in self-concept are often the most pronounced— individuals frequently go through shifts in their level of conﬁdence and self-esteem. Child psychologists Jack Block and Richard Robins found that approximately 80 percent of 7 people experienced either an increase or a decrease in their self-esteem during this period. 8 People can also undergo changes in their self-concept as a result of a signiﬁcant life event, such as undergoing a religious conversion or battling a serious illness. After being widowed and losing her job, for instance, Sherry found herself homeless and living in her car. The more she adapted to the routines of homelessness, the more she came to think of herself as homeless and shunned by society—and the more distrustful she became of people she was once close to. Friends and relatives o ered their help, but Sherry felt too ashamed to accept it. Over time, she SLS Notes began to prefer the company of other people who were homeless because she felt she could relate to them more easily. A healthy self-concept is ﬂexible and can change as life circumstances evolve. That doesn’t mean that every signiﬁcant event changes a person’s self-concept, but it does suggest that shifts in a person’s self-concept are frequently associated with noteworthy events in their developmental stage. Undergoing extensive therapy can also help a person change their self-concept, usually for the better. Overall, however, an individual’s self-concept generally does not change dramatically over adult life, at least in Western cultures. 9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 6/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Battling cancer or another serious illness can signiﬁcantly a ect a person’s self-concept, as it did for August and Hazel Grace in The Fault in Our Stars. Photos 12/Alamy How a Self-Concept Develops 10 None of us is born with a self-concept. In this section, we explore how factors such as personality and biology, culture and gender roles, reﬂected appraisal, and social comparison help determine who we are. PERSONALITY AND BIOLOGY An important part of your self-concept is your personality, Page 78 the pattern of distinctive ways you tend to think and act across most situations. Are you usually talkative and outgoing, or shy and reserved? Are you a worrier, or happy-go-lucky? Do you tend to be suspicious or trusting of others? Each of those questions relates to a di erent personality trait , a characteristic that describes you in most circumstances. If you have an outgoing personality, for instance, that means you’re friendly and talkative much of the time. 11 Some aspects of our personality are undoubtedly a ected by where we grow up or how we are raised. Research suggests, however, that biology also plays a role in shaping personality. For instance, several studies have shown that identical twins, who share 100 percent of their genes, are much more similar in their personality than fraternal twins, who share only 50 percent of their genes, the same as regular siblings. 12 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 7/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Other research shows that children start displaying certain personality traits early in life, before the e ects of culture or upbringing are likely to be inﬂuential, and that those traits often remain as the children grow up. Toddlers who act shy around strangers, for example, are likely to continue being shy as adolescents and adults. Although personality is strongly a ected by biology, however, with concerted e ort many people can change their personality traits if they choose. 13 CULTURE AND GENDER ROLES The way we see ourselves is also strongly a ected by the culture in which we grow up and the gender roles we enact. As we saw in the Culture and Gender chapter, cultures di er from one another in how individualistic they are: Some are highly individualistic, some are highly collectivistic, and some are in the middle. People in highly collectivistic cultures tend to think of their identities as embedded SLS Notes within their families and communities. In other words, they deﬁne the self in terms of the groups to which they belong, and they place more emphasis on the group than on the individual. In comparison, people in highly individualistic cultures think of themselves as independent and unique and not as strongly deﬁned by family or community. 14 Gender also matters when it comes to the self-concept. Recall that gender roles are socially constructed ideas about how women and men should think and behave. Most cultures expect men to exhibit more stereotypically masculine traits, such as assertiveness and self-su iciency, than women. Conversely, they expect women to exhibit more traits that are stereotypically feminine, such as empathy and emotional expressiveness. Those observations don’t imply that all men are assertive or that all women are emotionally expressive. Rather, they acknowledge general tendencies that can signiﬁcantly a ect the self-concepts that people of di erent genders develop. For instance, competition and achievement may be more important to the self-concept of a masculine person, whereas a feminine person may place a greater emphasis on having strong, equitable relationships. REFLECTED APPRAISAL As we grow up, one of the ways we ﬁgure out who we are is by considering who other people think we are. Perhaps you can recall someone important from your childhood who made you feel especially loved and appreciated. That individual may have been a favorite teacher who encouraged you to pursue your interests or an aunt or uncle who always listened to you talk about your favorite music. It’s also possible that you were inﬂuenced in negative ways by people who were important to you, such as a callous older sibling who teased you in front of your friends. Those types of positive or negative messages help us form a mental picture of what others think of us. In turn, that mental picture often a ects the image we form of ourselves. The process whereby our self- concept is inﬂuenced by how we think other people see us is called 15 reﬂected appraisal. When other people treat us with love and appreciation, we may come to think of ourselves as lovable and worthy. In the same way, when other people tease, ignore, or physically or verbally abuse us, we may perceive ourselves as inadequate https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 8/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept or unimportant. In these ways, reﬂected appraisal can move aspects of our personality from the blind section of the Johari Window to the open section. Page 79 In the early 1900s, sociologist Charles Horton Cooley conceived of what he called the “looking-glass self” to explain how reﬂected appraisal works. In his model, each of us imagines how we appear to others. For instance, you might believe that others see you as caring and compassionate. Next, we imagine how others evaluate their image of us. For example, if people see care and compassion as positive traits, you would likely imagine they would evaluate you positively. Finally, we develop our self-concept based on those evaluations. For instance, if people seem to think positively of you, then you would think positively of yourself. 16 In general, SLS Notes the more important someone is to us, the more his or her judgments will a ect the way we see ourselves. Parents, friends, teachers, coaches, and others who play a signiﬁcant role in our lives are usually the ones whose opinions matter the most. As a result, their appraisals often exert more inﬂuence on the development of our self-concept than other people’s appraisals. 17 The e ects of reﬂected appraisal aren’t conﬁned to childhood. For example, after years of being told by his father that he’s “no good,” Jerome lacks conﬁdence in his abilities, even though he is highly intelligent. That problem has made it di icult for him to hold down a job for more than a couple of years at a time. He also ﬁnds it hard to develop a lasting romantic relationship. Because his father’s behavior led him to feel unworthy of love, Jerome has a tough time believing that any romantic partner will ever want to stay with him. As a result, his relationships are ﬂeeting. 18 In Jerome’s case, the reﬂected appraisal he received from his father while growing up shapes his self-concept as a “no good” adult. In the Disney animated ﬁlm Tangled, Rapunzel’s self-concept is inﬂuenced by the way Mother Gothel saw her. That process is called reﬂected appraisal. nicoletaionescu/123rf SOCIAL COMPARISON https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 9/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Besides taking note of what other people think of us, we also notice how we compare with the people around us. Maybe you’re the least athletic of all your friends. Perhaps you ﬁnd that you’re funnier, better looking, or more musically talented than most of the people with whom you interact. A large part of the way we form a self concept is through this type of Page 80 social comparison, or observation of how we compare with others. Thus, if you’re more attractive than most of the people you know, attractiveness is likely to be a part of your self-concept. With social comparison, as with reﬂected appraisal, some people inﬂuence our self concept more than others. For that reason, a key element in social comparison is the individuals or groups with whom we compare ourselves. The people we use to evaluate our characteristics are called reference groups. In most cases, our reference groups are our peers. You’re more likely to consider yourself a smart person, for instance, if your reference group consists of your classmates rather than a group of Nobel Prize winners. Similarly, you’ll probably feel better o ﬁnancially if you compare yourself with your friends than with Facebook founder and Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, one of the world’s youngest billionaires. Those are extreme examples, but research shows that people sometimes pick unreasonable reference groups when they evaluate themselves. Unfortunately, comparing oneself with unreasonable reference groups can be frustrating—and even dangerous. For example, people are likely to develop negative images of their bodies when they compare themselves with movie stars or models. In response, they often put pressure on themselves to achieve an unrealistic body. In some cases, this pressure leads to eating disorders, which can be very serious or even life-threatening. 19 The inﬂuences we’ve just SLS Notes reviewed—personality and biology, culture and gender roles, reﬂected appraisal, and social comparison—can signiﬁcantly a ect self-concept. Importantly, none of those factors operates on self-concept by itself. Rather, all come into play in shaping self-identity. Awareness and Management of the Self Concept Part of being a competent, skilled communicator is being aware of your self-concept and managing its inﬂuences on your behavior. Two pathways through which self-concept can shape communicative behavior are self-monitoring and the self-fulﬁlling prophecy. SELF-MONITORING In the About Communication chapter, we deﬁned self-monitoring as an individual’s awareness of how they look and sound and of how that person’s behavior is a ecting others. Recall that people on the high end of the self-monitoring scale pay attention to how others are reacting to them, and they have the ability to adjust their communication as needed. Conversely, people on the low end express whatever they are thinking or feeling without paying attention to the impression they’re creating. https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 10/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept To understand how self-monitoring operates, let’s imagine that Jin and Katie are classmates who are working together over Zoom on a class project. As a high self-monitor, Jin pays attention to what he is wearing, how good his lighting is, and how tidy his background is when he logs onto Zoom to meet with Katie. As a low self-monitor, Katie doesn’t spend much time thinking about those things. During their meeting, Jin is aware of what he’s saying, so he contributes constructively to the class project. Katie, however, says whatever is on her mind without considering whether it is relevant or helpful. Jin notices if his behavior seems to make Katie uncomfortable or confused, and he adjusts his actions accordingly, whereas Katie doesn’t particularly pay attention to what she’s doing or how she’s a ecting Jin. Page 81 Self-monitoring certainly has its advantages. High self-monitors tend to be better at making whatever kind of impression they want to make, because they are aware of their behaviors and of others’ responses to them. They often ﬁnd it easier than low self monitors to put other people at ease in social situations. High self-monitors also tend to be good at ﬁguring out what others are thinking and feeling, an ability that gives them a clear advantage in many social settings. However, being a high self-monitor also has its drawbacks. Because high self-monitors are constantly aware of themselves and others, they may have a hard time relaxing and living in the moment. Also, their ability to adjust their behaviors to create a certain impression can make it di icult to tell what they are genuinely thinking or feeling. Their motto might be “What you see is what I want you to see.” 20 Being a low self-monitor also has advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side, low self-monitors spend less time and energy thinking about their appearance and behavior, so they are probably more relaxed than high self-monitors in many situations. Indeed, their motto might be “What you see is what you get.” In addition, because they are SLS Notes less aware of, or concerned with, the impressions they make, they are often more straightforward communicators—and may even be seen as more genuine and trustworthy. At the same time, however, because low self-monitors are less skilled than high self monitors in adjusting their behaviors to the demands of the situation, they frequently appear unsophisticated or socially awkward. As a result, they are more likely to make a poor ﬁrst impression, both in person and online. 21 Some medical conditions can inhibit self-monitoring ability, including having an autism spectrum disorder, a developmental disorder that impairs a person’s capability for social interaction. A 2022 study found that approximately 3.5 percent of U.S. American children aged 3 to 17 years have some form of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals with autism spectrum disorders are often unresponsive to others. They frequently avoid eye contact and have di iculty understanding other people’s thoughts and feelings. That obstacle limits their ability to notice how others are reacting to them and to adjust their behaviors accordingly, two hallmarks of self-monitoring. Despite these challenges, however, it is possible for many people with autism spectrum disorders to lead relatively independent, productive lives. 22 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 11/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Temple Grandin, who was diagnosed with autism at an early age, learned to deal successfully with the communication challenges posed by the disorder. Today, she is an animal scientist at Colorado State University and is also an inspiring world-renowned speaker on the topic of autism spectrum disorder. Jonathan Sprague/Redux SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY Imagine meeting a new coworker whom you’ve heard other people describe as painfully shy. Because you don’t want to make her uncomfortable, you spend little time talking to her when you meet her, and you don’t invite her to join you and your friends for lunch. Consequently, she says little to you all day and eats lunch alone at her desk. You think to yourself, “I guess everyone was right about her; she is really shy.” Why did your expectation about a shy coworker come true? Most likely, it’s due to a phenomenon called self-fulﬁlling prophecy—a situation in which a prediction causes people to act and communicate in ways that make that prediction come true. 12/14 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept As another example, let’s say you volunteer at an after-school literacy program, and everyone is talking about how much they like the new program director. Because everyone else seems to like him, you expect that you will too. You therefore communicate in a positive, outgoing way when you meet him. You introduce yourself to him in the hallway, and you listen with interest when he tells you about his background. In return, he treats you in a friendly manner. As a result, you do like him! What has happened here is that your expectation (“I will like this person”) led you to behave in a certain way (talking in a friendly way toward him; not interrupting him as SLS Notes he talked about himself) that caused your expectation to be fulﬁlled (he was friendly, and therefore you liked him). How do self-fulﬁlling prophecies a ect how we communicate? Sometimes our expectations inﬂuence our communication behavior, as when we think it’s going to be a bad day and we then have a bad day. Similarly, when we expect our relationships to fail, we behave in ways that sabotage them, and when we expect to be socially rejected, we perceive and react to rejection even when it isn’t really there. Page 82 23 Just as our expectations can inﬂuence our behavior, so can other people’s expectations. In one study, some college men were informed that a certain woman was attracted to them, and other men were told she wasn’t. After each man had a conversation with the woman, the researchers found a self-fulﬁlling prophecy: When the man believed the woman was attracted to him, she was more likely to behave as if she were. 24 The most likely explanation for that outcome is that the men who thought the woman was attracted to them communicated in a friendly, outgoing way toward her, causing her to reciprocate those communication behaviors and thus behave as though she were attracted to them. Research has shown that other people’s expectations cause us to behave in expectancy conﬁrming ways across a range of situations, including the management of our relationships, our ability to heal from illness, and even our productivity on the job. 25 can use that information to help generate positive encounters with others, as the “Got Skills?” box illustrates. got skills? | SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY Inﬂuence others’ communication behaviors in positive ways. WHAT? Learn to use the self-fulﬁlling prophecy to your advantage in interpersonal communication. WHY? To help make potentially contentious interactions—such as asking an instructor to reconsider the grade they gave you on an assignment—more positive. HOW? You 1. Let’s say you make an appointment to ask your instructor to reconsider your grade. Before the conversation, repeat to yourself positive messages such as “This https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 13/14 1/16/25, 10:47 AM Reading Mode: 1. Understanding the Self: Self-Concept instructor will deal with me kindly and fairly” and “They will recognize my intelligence and integrity.” 2. Mentally remind yourself of those messages as you engage in the conversation. In every way possible, behave as though those statements are already true. TRY! 1. With a classmate, friend, or coworker, role-play a conversation about a di erent di icult interaction. Do not tell the person beforehand of your expectations. 2. Afterward, discuss what went well during the conversation and what would have made it even more positive. Ask the person to identify the behaviors you enacted that contributed to positivity. Identify the ways in which you believe your expectations inﬂuenced your partner’s behavior. CONSIDER: How did having positive expectations about the conversation help to produce positive results? A very important clariﬁcation about self-fulﬁlling prophecies: For a prophecy to be self-fulﬁlling, it’s not enough that you expect something to happen, and SLS Notes then it does. Rather, it has to be your expectation that causes it to happen. To illustrate the point, let’s say you expected it to rain yesterday, and it did. That isn’t a self-fulﬁlling prophecy, because your expectation didn’t cause the rain—it would have rained whether you thought it would rain or not. In other words, your expectation was fulﬁlled, but it was not self fulﬁlled. A self-fulﬁlling prophecy is one in which the expectation itself causes the behaviors that make it come true. Page 83 LEARN IT What does it mean to say that self- concepts are partly subjective? Compare and contrast reﬂected appraisal and social comparison as inﬂuences on the development of a self-concept. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a low self-monitor? APPLY IT Create a version of Figure 1 for yourself. Around the ﬁgure in the middle, draw six to eight small images that represent your di erent selves. Then draw three or four new selves that represent not the person you are but the person you would like to become. Next to each of those ideal selves, write one statement describing something you can do to become more like that ideal self. REFLECT ON IT How do your friends and relatives a irm and reinforce your perceptions of yourself? If you had to create a time capsule to describe yourself to future generations and could include only ﬁve things, what things would you choose? Why? Part 2 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem 2Valuing the Self: Self- Esteem The 2018 coming-of-age comedy Dumplin’ features actress Danielle Macdonald as high school student Will Dickson. Nicknamed “Dumplin’” by her former-beauty-queen mother, Will enters the Miss Teen Bluebonnet Pageant in protest of its superﬁcial focus on physical attractiveness. By doing so, Will comes to realize that her self-worth is no longer impaired by her appearance or by the expectations that others may associate with it. How do you feel about yourself ? Are you satisﬁed with your looks? Your accomplishments? Your personality? Your relationships? Do you feel conﬁdent and proud of who you are? Those questions ask you to think about your self esteem, your subjective evaluation of your value and worth as a person. Many people have speculated about the value of having high self- esteem, but the research results have been mixed. As we’ll see, some behaviors and characteristics do appear to be enhanced by high self-esteem. Others seem as though they would be, but they really aren’t. In this section, we’ll look at what it means to have high or low self esteem, and we’ll investigate how characteristics such as gender and culture a ect our self-esteem. We’ll conclude by focusing on three interpersonal needs that SLS Notes interact with self-esteem to inﬂuence the way we communicate with others. In the 2018 ﬁlm Dumplin’, Will Dickson does not let other people’s opinions about her appearance dissuade her from entering a beauty pageant. TCD/Prod.DB/Alamy Stock Photo https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ Page 84 1/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem Beneﬁts and Drawbacks of Self-Esteem Turn on any talk show or browse the self-help aisle of any bookstore and you’ll ﬁnd plenty of discussion about the importance of self-esteem. High self-esteem is often believed to boost academic performance and shield people from stress, whereas low self-esteem is frequently blamed as the underlying cause of juvenile delinquency and antisocial behavior. Such beliefs have led many parents, educators, and government agencies to pay more attention to improving children’s self-esteem as a way to help them grow into more successful adults. Those ideas make good sense in part because they’re intuitively appealing. It’s easy to believe that if you feel good about yourself, you’ll be more successful in school, work, and relationships. Although research shows that high self-esteem does have some important beneﬁts, it also suggests that we might be giving self-esteem more credit than it’s due. SELF-ESTEEM AND SOCIAL BEHAVIOR Maintaining a positive image of ourselves does appear to have its advantages when it comes to behavior. Compared with people with lower self-esteem, those with higher self-esteem are generally more outgoing and more willing to communicate. 26 After 27 trying and failing at a di icult task, they try harder to accomplish it a second time. They are more comfortable initiating relationships, and they’re more likely to believe that their partners’ expressions of love and support are genuine. 28 They don’t necessarily have more friends than people with lower self-esteem, however. Moreover, when their self-worth is threatened, they are less likable than people with low self 29 30 esteem. Several researchers have speculated that lower self-esteem is related to antisocial behavior, especially among adolescents and young adults. They suggest that people who view themselves negatively are more likely to act aggressively toward others, to abuse drugs or alcohol, and to become sexually active at a young age than people with a more positive self-image. The research hasn’t supported those ideas, however. In fact, aggressive people tend to score higher, not lower, on some forms of self esteem. In addition, the evidence suggests that self-esteem is not related to drinking or drug use, at least among young adults. 32 31 A similar scenario occurs with teenage sexuality: Adolescents with higher self-esteem are more prone to be sexually active and to engage in risky sexual behaviors than teens with lower self-esteem. One explanation for those conclusions is that high self esteem gives some adolescents conﬁdence in their ability to win a ﬁght, attract a sexual partner, or escape the problems of risky sexual behaviors, making them more prone to engage in those types of interactions. In contrast, low self-esteem might lead other adolescents to avoid those situations. Some research indicates that problems associated with low self-esteem—which include social SLS Notes anxiety, loneliness, and depression—can lead people to use the internet as a way https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 2/10 Page 85 to escape those troubles. Although it provides a wealth of information, entertainment, and social-networking opportunity, excessive reliance on the internet as a substitute for interpersonal relationships can be problematic. Internet use can even become addictive for those who turn to it as a means of escaping their social di iculties. SELF-ESTEEM AND HOW WE SEE OURSELVES AND OTHERS Research indicates that people who have high self-esteem are happier with their lives than are people with low self-esteem. That ﬁnding is true around the world, although there is a stronger relationship between happiness and self-esteem in countries with individualistic cultures—which emphasize the importance of the self— than in others with collectivistic cultures—which emphasize the needs of the group or community (Table 1). In addition, people with high self-esteem have a lower risk of depression symptoms and an enhanced ability to recognize and manage emotions, a skill researchers call emotional intelligence. TABLE 1 The Relationship between Self-Esteem and Happiness in Various Pa The higher the number, the more strongly self-esteem is related to happiness in that coun Country Self-Esteem/Happiness R United States.58 New Zealand.59 Germany.50 Spain.39 Brazil.36 Jordan.34 Bangladesh.16 Note: The countries shown are listed from most individualistic to most collectivistic. As you can see, self-est to happiness in individualistic societies than in collectivistic ones. This relationship is not perfect; for instan individualistic than New Zealand, but the New Zealand correlation is slightly stronger. Rather, the relations averaged across genders. Source: Diener, E., & Diener, M. (2009). Cross-cultural correlates of life satisfaction and self-esteem. In E. 71– 91). Springer. In contrast, people who have a poorer image of themselves adopt more negative emotions and ways of looking at and handling situations. They tend to be more 33 34 35 36 37 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 3/10 judgmental of others than people with higher self-esteem. They’re also more likely to speak poorly of others and to express racial prejudices. When others put them down, they often respond by being excessively critical of others, so as to appear more impressive. Some research has also shown that having low self-esteem in childhood is a predictor of having thoughts of suicide and of making suicide attempts in adolescence or young adulthood. Self-esteem a ects our communication online as well. Those with negative views of themselves post more negative status updates on social media, for instance. Their negative updates then draw discouraging feedback from others, which only reinforces their low self- esteem. People with poor self-images can also be dismayed by the fun and exciting activities they see depicted in their friends’ tweets, posts, and photos—a reaction that one reporter dubbed “Instagram envy.” In fact, research shows that even people with positive self-images can be envious when they read on social media sites about how satisfying and SLS Notes fulﬁlling their friends’ lives are. For more detail on Instagram envy, check out the “Communication: Dark Side” box. communication | DARK SIDE INSTAGRAM ENVY After working hard to lose weight, Keith was feeling better about his appearance than he had in a long time, and he decided to post a photo of his success on Instagram. After scrolling through his Instagram feed for a few minutes, however, he changed his mind. It seemed as though everyone Keith followed, including friends and strangers alike, looked better than he did. What’s more, they all seemed to have better clothes, drive better cars, and take better vacations than he did. Despite his hard-earned success with weight loss, Keith suddenly felt less satisﬁed with his own life. If you’re a frequent user of Instagram or similar social networking sites, perhaps you can relate. The phenomenon known as Instagram envy occurs when seeing other people’s posts and photos makes us feel less happy with our lives. Although that reaction is more pronounced for people with low self-esteem, anyone can fall victim to it. In one study, researchers Katerina Lup, Leora Trub, and Lisa Rosenthal asked 117 Instagram users between the ages of 18 and 29 to take part in a survey. The study measured participants’ frequency of Instagram use, the number of strangers they followed on Instagram, and the extent to which they compared their own lives to the lives of the Instagram users they followed. The researchers also measured each participant’s level of depressive symptoms, which include feelings of loneliness, despair, and a lack of control. 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self- Esteem https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 4/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem In line with the idea of Instagram envy, the study found that the more frequently people use Instagram, the more depressive symptoms they report. That was especially true for people who followed a high number of strangers (compared to those who personally knew most of the people they followed). The authors speculated that when Instagram users compare themselves to others—especially people they don’t know—they can feel as though their own lives are lacking by comparison. FROM ME TO YOU Virtually any form of social media can fuel feelings of envy and resentment. When it seems as though most other people wear nicer clothes or take more exciting vacations than you do, it can be hard not to feel like your own life doesn’t measure up. Moreover, when people post images of themselves that are altered to appear more attractive, we can end up feeling less attractive ourselves. If you ﬁnd yourself feeling this way after scrolling through your Instagram feed, remember that the whole purpose of Instagram is for people to showcase the best parts of their lives. Even if your friends’ lives look perfect, that doesn’t mean they are perfect. Remind yourself that you’re getting only a highly selective glimpse of the people you follow and that it is unfair to compare your life and self-worth to what you see online. Source: Lup, K., Trub, L., & Rosenthal, L. (2015). Instagram #instasad?: Exploring associations among Instagram use, depressive symptoms, negative social comparison, and strangers followed. SLS Notes Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18(5), 247–252. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2014.0560 SELF-ESTEEM AND PERFORMANCE Much emphasis has been placed on self-esteem in school settings and its e ects on students’ academic performance. Many people have argued that high self-esteem gives students the conﬁdence to work hard in school and achieve academic success. They have also maintained that low self-esteem is often the root cause of poor grades. 46 Those beliefs have led parents and educators to implement policies to boost students’ self-esteem. One fairly common approach has been to reduce or eliminate opportunities for competition among students, particularly competition based on academic achievement. For instance, many schools refuse to publish an honor roll, fearing that recognizing high achievers will diminish the self-esteem of students who didn’t earn the grades to qualify. Some schools have gone so far as to eliminate grades. Other U.S. school districts have even stopped participating in the National Spelling Bee—a national student spelling competition— because only one child in each grade can win in any given year, a tradition that, concerned observers say, might harm other children’s self-esteem. Those and similar school policies are based on the notion that competition is problematic because students who don’t win will su er a loss of self-esteem that in turn will impair their academic performance. 47 The research shows, however, that e orts to protect students’ self-esteem have had little e ect. In fact, several studies suggest that students’ self-esteem has very little Page 86 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 5/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem association with their academic performance. 49 48 For instance, some studies have found no correlation between students’ self-esteem and their scores on standardized tests. At least one study has shown that attempting to boost students’ self-esteem can backﬁre and cause the students to perform more poorly. 50 That may be because inﬂating students’ self-esteem causes the students to have such a degree of conﬁdence in their natural abilities that they study less than they otherwise would. Page 87 Importantly, those conclusions are not true only for students. The evidence suggests that self-esteem is also largely unrelated to performance on the job. Research has shown, for instance, that high self-esteem provides no advantage when performing arithmetic tasks or tasks that require sensitivity to nonverbal behaviors, two common components of many jobs. 51 52 53 Some school districts have stopped participating in the National Spelling Bee out of concern for students’ self-esteem. Alex Wong/Getty Images In summary, having high self-esteem is a real beneﬁt in some ways, such as in making us happier. In other regards, such as preventing delinquency or improving our academic performance, it isn’t particularly helpful. Those mixed results don’t mean we shouldn’t care about the self-esteem of those around us. Rather, they suggest that the beneﬁts of high self-esteem are largely limited to social and emotional areas and may not be as broad as people once thought. Many people SLS Notes have suggested that self-esteem di ers according to a person’s gender and cultural background. Let’s examine the extent to which that variation is true. Culture, Gender, and Self-Esteem https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 6/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem Gender and culture are such powerful inﬂuences in our lives that it’s easy to assume they a ect almost everything about who we are and how we communicate. The e ects are not always what we might guess, however. CULTURE AND SELF-ESTEEM Some people might assume that ethnic minorities in the United States would have lower self-esteem than non-Hispanic whites— who form the majority ethnic group— because of the social stigmas that minorities often face. 54 In fact, the research tells a slightly di erent story. According to psychologists Jean Twenge and Jennifer Crocker, Hispanic Americans, Native Americans, and Asian Americans do tend to rate themselves lower than non-Hispanic whites in self-esteem. Beginning in the 1980s, however, Black people have reported the highest self-esteem of all U.S. ethnic groups, including non-Hispanic whites. The di erences among these groups aren’t substantial, but they have been relatively consistent over the past few decades. 55 56 If ethnic minorities experience discrimination and social stigma, what helps them maintain their self-esteem? Page 88 Researchers believe that socially marginalized groups—a category that can also include sexual minorities and people with disabilities —use three general strategies. First, they value the experiences at which they excel. To the extent that one group excels academically, athletically, or artistically, for instance, that group will emphasize those activities more heavily than activities in which they perform less impressively. Second, they tend to attribute their problems to prejudices in society rather than to their own behaviors or decisions. Third, like most people, they compare themselves with others in their own group more than with people from other groups. 57 Since the 1980s, Black people have reported the highest self-esteem of all ethnic groups in the United States. Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 7/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem GENDER AND SELF- ESTEEM 58 Gender appears to a ect self-esteem both on its own and in combination with culture. In a large cross-cultural study involving nearly one million participants, researchers found that men reported higher levels of self-esteem than women, regardless of culture. 59 The study also found that the gender di erence in self-esteem is greater in Western countries, such as the United States, than in Eastern countries, such as Indonesia and Thailand. In the United States, however, racial and ethnic identity a ects the gender gap in self-esteem. In fact, among ethnic minorities, self-esteem is higher for U.S. women than for U.S. men. There is no gender di erence among non Hispanic whites, however. Some experts have suggested that for ethnic minorities, experiences of racial discrimination are SLS Notes more damaging to the self-esteem of men than of women. That theory might explain why men have lower self-esteem than women among ethnic minorities but not among non- Hispanic whites, at least in the United States. 60 We’ve seen that self-esteem beneﬁts us in some ways and not in others, and that it varies by culture and gender, but not always in the ways we might expect. In the following discussion, we’ll tie self-esteem more directly to interpersonal communication by examining three fundamental interpersonal needs that appear to be facilitated by self-esteem. The Self and Interpersonal Needs In his interpersonal needs theory, social psychologist Will Schutz proposed that self esteem interacts with three important interpersonal needs to a ect our communication with others: the need for control, the need for inclusion, and the need for a ection. As we’ll see, each of these needs motivates us to interact with other people in particular ways. NEED FOR CONTROL Page 89 We all have a need for control, which is our motivation to maintain some degree of inﬂuence in our relationships. As infants, we relied almost completely on our caregivers to make decisions for us. As we grew up, however, we needed to play a more decisive role in determining the course of our lives. In many relationships, people share control, so that each person has some say in what happens. We’re often less satisﬁed in relationships when we feel we have no control. 61 Research shows that the higher a person’s self-esteem, the more that individual feels in control of the events in their life. 62 By the same token, many of us also have a need to relinquish control from time to time. Just as we’re dissatisﬁed with having too little control, we can also feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of having too much control. Allowing others to make decisions for us is an important part of the interdependent nature of personal relationships. We’re often most satisﬁed, therefore, with a moderate amount of control. https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 8/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem NEED FOR INCLUSION Our need for inclusion is our need to belong, to be included in the activities of others, and to have positive human contact. Some of us have a stronger need for inclusion than others, but even people whom we would describe as loners need some level of interaction with others. Studies have shown that people can experience mental and physical distress when their need for inclusion is not met. 63 For individuals with a high need for inclusion, then, the opportunities to form and maintain interpersonal relationships contribute to their self- esteem. From a di erent perspective, people with higher self-esteem tend to be more outgoing and extroverted than people with lower self-esteem. For that reason they might be more motivated to seek out relationships that will meet their need for inclusion. 64 For example, they may be more likely to join social groups, religious organizations, or sports teams to meet others. Nevertheless, even people with a high need for inclusion also enjoy periods of solitude. NEED FOR AFFECTION Finally, each of us also has a need for a ection. We need to have people in our lives who love and appreciate us and who communicate SLS Notes their a ection to us. We also need to give love and intimacy to others. Some researchers believe that people are born with the capacity to feel and share a ection, and studies have shown that the more a ection people give and receive, the healthier and happier they are. 65 People with higher self-esteem also tend to be more expressive of their a ectionate feelings than people with lower self-esteem. 66 A ection and a sense of belonging are two fundamental human needs. In Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel struggles to ﬁll both needs when she accompanies her boyfriend Nick to his homeland of Singapore. https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 9/10 1/16/25, 10:48 AM Reading Mode: 2. Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem Album/Alamy Stock Photo The “At a Glance” box summarizes Schutz’s proposed three interpersonal needs. Schutz believed that all three needs are fundamental, meaning that everyone has them to some degree. Furthermore, the greater these needs are, he argued, the more motivated we are to seek and form relationships with people who can help us meet them. People with high self-esteem don’t necessarily have stronger needs for inclusion, a ection, and control than others do, but they appear to be more successful at meeting those needs through their communication with other people. AT A GLANCE Schutz’s Interpersonal Needs Need for Control Page 90 Our need to maintain some degree of control in a Need for Inclusion Our need to belong to a social group and to have p Need for A ection Our need to feel loved and appreciated by others LEARN IT What social behaviors are enhanced by having high self-esteem? How does self-esteem di er between the genders or among various ethnic groups? What three interpersonal needs did Schutz propose were fundamental? APPLY IT This week, make a point of expressing a ection—in whatever ways feel natural— to close family members, coworkers, and/or friends. Then, in a short report, brieﬂy describe two or three instances of this expression of a ection and explain how your e orts have supported both your own and others’ need for a ection. REFLECT ON IT When do you feel better or worse about yourself? What factors, besides gender and culture, do you think inﬂuence self-esteem? https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 10/10 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management 3Presenting the Self: Image Management As we’ve considered, your self-concept is related to the way you see yourself. When you communicate interpersonally, however, you are also concerned with the way you want others to see you. In some situations, you might want others to regard you as friendly, outgoing, and fun. In di erent situations, you might want people to look at you as reliable, competent, and serious. Perhaps there are circumstances when you’d like others to think of you as independent and open-minded. image When you consider how you want others to perceive you, you’re considering the kind of you want to SLS Notes project. In this section, we’ll see that managing your image is a collaborative, multidimensional, and complex process. We’ll also consider the contributions of communication researcher Myra Goldschmidt, sociologist Erving Go man, and other scholars whose work has helped us understand the process of image management. In the 2018 movie Love, Simon, Simon Spier manages his image strategically so that others won’t ﬁnd out he is gay. TCD/Prod.DB/Alamy Stock Photo 1/9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management Principles of Image Management The ﬁlm Love, Simon (2018) tells the story of 17-year-old Simon Spier (played by Nick Robinson), a high school junior with a big secret. To his family and friends, he’s a friendly, laid-back student who is active in musical theater. Only an anonymous pen pal knows he’s gay. As the story progresses, Simon struggles to manage two separate images of himself, one public and one private. He eventually resolves his struggle by coming out to his loved ones and by exploring a romantic relationship after learning the identity of his online companion. Page 91 When your goal is to make a positive impression on others, you’ve probably heard that it’s best to “just be yourself.” Indeed, many people try to project an image that accurately reﬂects their self-concept. Yet there are many times when the way you act reﬂects a speciﬁc image you wish to project, and you adjust your behavior accordingly. Simon Spier found that he had to project an artiﬁcial image of himself at home and at school, and that he could be his true self only online. This is the process of image management process:. Let’s explore three fundamental principles of this 1. Image management is collaborative. 2. We manage multiple identities. 3. Image management is complex. IMAGE MANAGEMENT IS COLLABORATIVE To some extent, managing your image is an individual process. After all, your image is yours. You also get a lot of help managing your image, however, from the people around you. As psychologist Dan McAdams has suggested, each of us develops a life story, or a way of presenting ourselves to others that is based on our self-concept but also inﬂuenced by other people. 67 If others accept the image you portray, they’ll tend to behave in ways that encourage that image. Let’s say you see yourself as a conﬁdent person, and you project that image to others. If other people regard you as conﬁdent, they’ll treat you as though you are— and their response to you will strengthen that part of your identity in your own mind. If others don’t accept the image of yourself that you portray, however, they may see you as less credible or as untrustworthy. Trying to be someone you aren’t, or portraying an image of yourself that isn’t genuine, might mean that people take you less seriously. WE MANAGE MULTIPLE IDENTITIES Consider that all the people who interact with you know you only in a certain context. You have your circle of friends, who know you as a friend. You have your family members, who know you as a mother, a son, an aunt, a brother, a cousin, or a grandchild. Your boss and coworkers know you as an employee. Your doctor and your 2/9 SLS Notes https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management dentist know you as a patient, your professors know you as a student, and your landlord knows you as a tenant. Signiﬁcantly, each of these contexts carries its own distinctive role expectations, so you probably enact a somewhat di erent identity in each one. You likely communicate di erently at work from the way you do at home, and your friends probably know you di erently than your professors do. You may also communicate di erently in various online venues, such as YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok. The point is that, just like Simon Spier, we all manage multiple identities; that is, we show di erent parts of ourselves to di erent people in our lives. On occasion, people enact images of themselves that are inaccurate or dishonest. As noted above, for instance, some people post photos and stories to social media that portray their lives as far more exciting and glamorous than they actually are. Others present inaccurate information about themselves, such as a job applicant who exaggerates her work experience on her résumé or a man who describes himself in an online personal ad as younger than he is. Page 92 The challenge of managing multiple identities is especially pronounced for people with “invisible” medical conditions, which are illnesses or disorders that are not necessarily apparent to others. Conditions such as Down syndrome, stuttering, and intellectual developmental disorders, and those requiring the use of a wheelchair, are relatively “visible” because many people will notice those conditions after seeing or listening to someone who has them. In contrast, people can, to varying degrees, hide the fact that they have conditions such as cancer, diabetes, asthma, and depression if they don’t want others to know. Most people can’t identify a person with diabetes or asthma, for example, simply by looking at them. For that reason, people with those and other invisible conditions have both the ability and the responsibility to determine how to incorporate their conditions into the image they project. For instance, many people must continually decide whom to tell about their conditions, when to make those disclosures, and how to do so. That decision can be particularly agonizing for individuals su ering from invisible conditions that are also socially stigmatized, such as mental health disorders and HIV-positive status, because of the fear of how others will react to their disclosures. 3/9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management When we select images to share on social media—such as travel or ﬁne dining selﬁes, rather than lunch at our desk—we are engaging in image management. coloroftime/Getty Images Image management is similarly challenging for many sexual and gender minorities. Like an invisible medical condition, sexual orientation and gender identity are not always evident in the way a person looks, sounds, or communicates. That gives people the ability to choose to whom to reveal their true selves. Many ﬁnd this to be a consequential decision because SLS Notes sexual and gender minorities are often discriminated against throughout the world, including much of the United States. 68 To avoid prejudice, sexual and gender minorities may choose to “stay in the closet” and keep their sexual orientation or gender identity secret, even from their closest friends and relatives. A person’s decision to disclose their sexual orientation or gender identity has some important health consequences. To begin with, long-term concealment of such a fundamental aspect of an individual’s identity is stressful. 69 can elevate the risks for cardiovascular diseases, 70 Over time, such stress rapid progression of HIV, and 72 73 71 suicide. There is some evidence that those problems are magniﬁed for LGBTQIA+ adolescents, who, in contrast to adults, may lack the social support and emotional maturity to manage the stress of concealing their sexual orientation or gender identity. Although concealing one’s true self can be problematic for health, so can disclosing it. For instance, a study of gay and bisexual men found that those who had disclosed their sexual orientation in their workplace experienced more daily stress and negative moods than did those who kept their orientation secret. Other research has found that lesbians and gay men are at elevated risk for depression and stress even if they are open about their sexual orientation. 74 75 4/9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management IMAGE MANAGEMENT IS COMPLEX Page 93 If image management sounds complicated, that’s because it often is. For instance, we may have competing goals in our interactions with others. Let’s say you have made an o er to purchase your ﬁrst home but you ﬁnd you need an additional $3,500 to cover the closing costs. You perceive that you have no other option but to ask your older sister and brother-in-law to lend you the money. You probably want your sister to think of you as a mature, responsible adult rather than as someone she has to look out for. As a result, you will have to present your request in a way that preserves your image as a responsible person. At the same time, you want to persuade your sister and brother-in-law that you really need this loan or you will risk losing the house. This reality may cause you to project the image that you need help. Thus, you may ﬁnd your image needs in conﬂict: You want to appear responsible but also in need of assistance. How to manage these competing image needs—while still persuading your sister to lend you the money—can be complex. 76 Communication researcher Myra Goldschmidt found that when people ask others for favors, they often create narratives that help to maintain their images while still being persuasive. To your sister, you might say things like “I have already worked it into my budget to begin paying you back immediately,” and “I’m glad to pay interest on the loan.” Such strategies can help preserve your image as a responsible individual even in a situation when that image might be threatened. We’ve seen that image management is a collaborative process that often requires negotiating several identities in a complex way. How do we determine what our image needs are in the ﬁrst place? Managing Face Needs SLS Notes 77 In a recurring segment on the nightly comedy Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host invites guests to read some of the disparaging remarks made about them on Twitter (X), aloud, on camera. Part of the appeal of the “Mean Tweets” segment is the way that the actors, musical artists, and sports ﬁgures who take part react to the attacks, often dismissing the comments with laughter, countering with comments of their own, or even showing how the comments hurt their feelings. Researchers might say that these celebrities are making an attempt to save face by taking action to avoid embarrassment and maintain dignity in a situation that threatens it. Although we sometimes associate losing or saving face with collectivistic cultures such as South Korea and Japan, the ability to save face is important to people in many cultures. Let’s take a look at what happens when our desired public image is threatened. 5/9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management When celebrities such as Pharrell Williams respond to mean tweets people write about them on Jimmy Kimmel Live, they are managing their face needs. Alex J. Berliner/ABImages/AP Images FACE AND FACE NEEDS Page 94 Each of us has a desired public image—a certain way that we want others to see and think of us—and we work to maintain that image. For instance, if you want others to see you as intelligent and competent, you will likely behave in ways that give that impression, and you will try to avoid situations that will make you look incompetent or uninformed. Sociologist Erving Go man coined the term face to describe our desired public image and the term facework 78 to describe the behaviors we use to project that image to others. The “Got Skills?” box o ers suggestions for improving your own facework abilities. got skills? | FACEWORK Practice o ering complaints in a nonthreatening manner. WHAT? Learn to protect the face needs of another person. WHY? https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 6/9 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management Receiving complaints, such as grievances about poor service in a restaurant or car dealership, can threaten a person’s competence face. When you are dissatisﬁed with something, you can express your complaints constructively— and, by so doing, perhaps even improve your chances of getting satisfactory resolution of the issue—if you know how to preserve the face needs of the individual to whom you are complaining. HOW? 1. Imagine a speciﬁc situation in which you feel you must complain about poor service. List two or three ways in which your complaint might threaten the competence face of the person receiving it. 2. Write out sentences and phrases that would minimize those face threats. For instance, focus on describing the problem rather than assigning blame: “When I got my car back, I noticed that the ‘check engine’ light was on. Can you tell me why?” TRY! 1. Role-play a conversation about poor service with another person. Try to minimize threats to your communication partner’s competence face. 2. Ask the person for feedback on how well SLS Notes you communicated your complaint in a nonthreatening manner. CONSIDER: What skills did you learn? How will you apply them when you next need to express a complaint or problem? Researchers believe that our face is made up of three components of our desired public image. face needs, or important Fellowship face refers to the need to have others like and accept us. That is the part of our identity that motivates us to make friends, join clubs or social groups, and behave pleasantly around others. Autonomy face refers to our need to avoid being imposed upon by others. It’s our autonomy face that motivates us to be in control of our time and resources and to avoid having other people make decisions for us. Finally, 79 competence face is our need to have others respect us and to acknowledge our abilities and intelligence. That need drives us to seek careers and hobbies that we’re good at and to avoid situations in which we will embarrass ourselves. You might ﬁnd it easy to remember those face needs by noting that the ﬁrst letters of their names—fellowship, autonomy, and competence— constitute the ﬁrst three letters in the word face. The “At a Glance” box summarizes the three face needs. AT A GLANCE 7/9 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management Three Types of Face Fellowship Face Autonomy Face Competence Face FACE THREATS Our need to have others like and accept us Our need not to be imposed upon by others Our need to be respected for our intelligence and ab Page 95 Each of us has a di erent desired public image, and so our face needs vary. Fellowship, autonomy, and competence are largely independent face needs, so having a high level of one need does not necessarily a ect a person’s levels of the other two needs. For instance, some people have a very strong fellowship face need, meaning it is extremely important that others like them. Other people much prefer to be respected than liked. Similarly, one person may have a very high need for autonomy, whereas another person may not mind having decisions made for them. Those di erences are part of what makes everyone’s identity unique. Although we all have our own face needs, we often become consciously aware of them only when they’re threatened. Let’s say you applied to join an honor society but were not accepted. The decision not to include you could threaten your fellowship face. It could also threaten your competence face by making you feel you weren’t smart enough to get into the group. The rejection of your application, therefore, is a face 80 threatening act because it fails to fulﬁll one or more of your face needs. Face-threatening acts often lead people to behave in ways that help restore their face. In the case of the honor society, you could say “I didn’t really want to be in that society anyway.” Making such a statement doesn’t mean you actually believe it. Indeed, you probably did want to be in the honor society, or you wouldn’t have bothered applying. Rather, you would likely say this to manage your image with others by making it appear as though your face needs weren’t threatened. This response is therefore a type of defense mechanism that helps minimize the e ects of a face-threatening act. 81 SLS Notes Face threats are common experiences for many marginalized populations. For example, threats to autonomy face may arise among marginalized people who have to rely on others to meet their material needs or who feel they don’t have a voice in decisions that a ect them. Older people, for instance, frequently experience losses of autonomy as a result of various physical and cognitive limitations associated with aging. Individuals with certain disabilities may also perceive threats to their autonomy if they are unable to do things that others can do, such as driving a car and going for a walk. Still other groups may feel their autonomy is threatened when they don’t have the ability to make certain decisions for themselves, as in the case of lesbian and gay adults who may be prevented from adopting children. Being marginalized also leads many people to feel disrespected and shamed. Such feelings can threaten both their fellowship face and their competence face. U.S. society has stigmas associated with being homeless, poor, old, disabled, lesbian, gay, Page 96 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 8/9 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 3. Presenting the Self: Image Management 82 mentally ill, and (in some circles) even divorced, even though a person may have no choice about belonging to any such groups. Stigmatized people might feel like outsiders who don’t ﬁt in with those around them, and those perceptions threaten their fellowship face by leading them to feel unaccepted. They may also perceive that others judge them not on the basis of their intelligence or abilities but simply because of their stigmatized condition—a perception that threatens their competence face by making them feel disrespected. Authorities in Uvalde, Texas, worked to manage their competence face needs in the wake of outrage surrounding the 2022 shootings of 19 elementary school students and two teachers. Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images LEARN IT What does it mean to say that image management is collaborative? How are fellowship face, autonomy face, and competence face similar? How are they di erent? APPLY IT Imagine you’re asking someone in your family for a favor. Think about the types of images you would want to project to that person. With those images in mind, write out the words you would use to make your request. REFLECT ON IT When do you notice that you have to manage multiple identities? What strategies do you use to do so? How do you usually react when your face needs are threatened? 9/9 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure 4Communicating the Self: Self Disclosure Now that we have explored how we form a self- concept and how we manage our image, let’s complete our analysis by looking at how we SLS Notes communicate about ourselves, or self disclose. Self-disclosure is the act of intentionally giving others information about ourselves that we believe to be true but that we think they don’t already have. From a highly intimate conversation with a romantic partner about our hopes and dreams to a mundane chat with a coworker about where we dined last evening, self-disclosure involves sharing a part of ourselves with someone else. In this section, we’ll look at several principles of self-disclosure and examine various beneﬁts that self- disclosure can bring to us and to our relationships. Finally, we’ll take stock of some of the risks of self-disclosing. Principles of Self-Disclosure Most of us engage in self-disclosure, in one form or another, on a fairly ongoing basis. Self-disclosure has several important attributes. SELF-DISCLOSURE IS INTENTIONAL AND TRUTHFUL For an act of communication to qualify as self-disclosure, it must meet two conditions: We must deliberately share information about ourselves we must believe that information is true. Let’s say that you accidentally overhear your friend Dean telling someone about his ﬁnancial problems over the telephone. That wouldn’t constitute an act of self-disclosure according to the deﬁnition just given because Dean didn’t share the information with you deliberately. Page 97 Similarly, self-disclosing means sharing information that we believe is true. If you tell a coworker that you’ve never traveled outside your home country, for instance, then that qualiﬁes as self-disclosure if you believe it to be true. It’s your belief in the information’s truth that matters, not the information’s absolute truth. Perhaps you traveled outside the country when you were an infant and were too young to remember. If you believe the information you’re providing is true, however, then it qualiﬁes as self disclosure. Intentionally giving people information about ourselves that we believe to be false is an act of deception, as we’ll see in the Deceptive Communication chapter. SELF- DISCLOSURE VARIES IN BREADTH AND DEPTH Social penetration theory, developed by social psychologists Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor and depicted in Figure 3, illustrates how self-disclosure over time is like https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure peeling away the layers of an onion: Each self-disclosure helps us learn more and more about a person we’re getting to know. FIGURE 3 Social Penetration Theory Researchers use the image of a multilayered onion to represent the process of social penetration in a relationship. The outer layer of the onion represents breadth of self-disclosure. That layer is referred to as the “public layer” because it reﬂects details you would share with most people. The inner layers of the onion reﬂect depth of self-disclosure. We call those the “personal layers” because they represent details you would share only with people you know quite well. If you share personal details about your political ideas with someone, but nothing else, then your relationship has depth but not breadth. If you tell someone only superﬁcial information about your political, religious, moral, and romantic experiences but do not SLS Notes provide more personal details on any of those topics, then your relationship has breadth but not depth. In our closest relationships, we usually disclose both superﬁcial and private information about many issues, so those relationships have both breadth and depth. https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 2/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure According to social penetration theory, peeling away the layers to get to know someone requires sharing disclosures that have both breadth and depth. Breadth describes the range of topics you discuss with various people. With some people, you might disclose about only certain aspects of your life. For instance, you might tell your doctor all about your health but not about other aspects of your life. You might disclose only about your professional life with a coworker, or only about your academic life with a professor. In those relationships, your self-disclosure has little breadth, because you disclose only about a limited range of topics. In contrast, with your relatives, close friends, and romantic partner you probably talk about several di erent aspects of your life, such as your work and school experiences, your ﬁnancial concerns, your professional ambitions, your health, your spiritual or religious beliefs, your political opinions, and your desires for the future. Your disclosure in these relationships is characterized by greater breadth, because you disclose about a wider range of topics. The second dimension, depth, measures how personal or intimate your disclosures are. The depth of our self-disclosures is largely a function of how carefully we feel we must guard the information in the disclosures. Let’s say Maya and her girlfriend are having relationship problems. Maya might describe her problems in detail to her mother, not only because she values her opinion but also because she trusts her mother to keep the information private. Because she doesn’t feel the need to guard this information from her mother, Maya can engage in disclosure that has great depth. With her administrative assistant, however, Maya discloses that she is having di iculty, but she doesn’t go into detail because she doesn’t feel comfortable entrusting her assistant with the speciﬁcs. In this instance, Maya engages in self-disclosure of lesser depth. SELF-DISCLOSURE VARIES AMONG RELATIONSHIPS Not every relationship is characterized by the same breadth and depth of self-disclosure. Some relationships involve depth of disclosure but very little breadth. With a ﬁnancial aid counselor, for instance, you might disclose in-depth information about your ﬁnancial matters but not about anything else. Likewise, you might tell a therapist intimate details about your family but very little about other issues in your life. In Figure 3b, this type of relationship is depicted by coloring one wedge of the circle from the outermost ring to the innermost but leaving the other circles untouched. Page 98 Other relationships are characterized by breadth of disclosure but very little depth. With casual friends at school or work, for example, you might disclose a little about several areas of your life—family, hobbies, political ideas, career ambitions—but not provide intimate details about any of them. As Figure 3c indicates, you would depict this type of SLS Notes relationship by coloring in several of the wedges on the circle, but only on the outermost ring, leaving the smaller internal rings untouched. Still other relationships, such as romantic partnerships and close friendships, thrive only with high degrees of both breadth and depth. In such relationships, people typically share both public and private information about multiple aspects of their lives. Figure 3d, by coloring in several of the wedges around the circle—some of which extend all the way to the center—illustrates both the breadth and the depth of self disclosure in those kinds of relationships. Page 99 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 3/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure SELF- DISCLOSURE IS A GRADUAL PROCESS Even our closest relationships usually aren’t close right away. Closeness develops over time as two people get to know each other and reveal more and more information about themselves. In new relationships, people often disclose slowly, sharing just a few details at ﬁrst and o ering more personal information only if they like and trust each other. 83 When they started becoming friends, Deepak and Prasad shared mostly routine information, such as their hometowns, favorite sport teams, and occupations. As they got to know and trust each other more, they shared their opinions on politics, relationships, and religion. Only after they had known each other for quite a while did they feel comfortable talking about more personal things, such as Prasad’s health problems and the challenges in Deepak’s marriage. Although people in some relationships begin sharing intimate information quickly, self-disclosure usually moves in small increments. ONLINE SELF-DISCLOSURE FOLLOWS A DIFFERENT PATTERN One exception to the general pattern of gradual self-disclosure occurs in relationships formed online, such as through e-mail, chat rooms, or blogs. 84 You might predict that people would be less disclosive in computer-mediated contexts than in face-to-face settings, based on the reasoning that they might not feel as engaged with online conversational partners or as comfortable sharing personal information. Just the opposite appears to be true, however. Research shows that the lack of face-to-face interaction in computer-mediated contexts encourages self-disclosure, so that people are often more disclosive at the start of an online relationship than in a face-to-face one. 85 For example, a study of new romantic relationships discovered that couples disclose personal information earlier in their relationship via computer-mediated communication than in person. 86 How do researchers account for that behavior? Communication scholar Joseph Walther explains that the computer-mediated environment encourages not just personal communication but also communication that is “hyperpersonal,” meaning that it contains more private information than people would typically share face-to-face. Walther believes that hyperpersonal communication occurs partly because we see communication partners in a more positive light online than face-to-face, so we feel less inhibited about disclosing highly personal information. This hyperpersonal nature of online disclosure can accelerate SLS Notes feelings of closeness between people. As we will see, however, it also involves certain risks, and this reality suggests that people may beneﬁt from disclosing less personal information online. 87 SELF-DISCLOSURE IS USUALLY RECIPROCAL You may have heard the expression “One good turn deserves another.” This saying suggests that when someone gives you some type of gift or resource, you are expected to return the favor. Sociologist Alvin Gouldner called that expectation the norm of reciprocity. In North American cultures, at least, the norm of reciprocity usually extends to self-disclosure; that is, when we disclose things to other people, we typically expect them to disclose things to us in return. 88 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 89 Page 100 4/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self- Disclosure There are some exceptions to this rule. For example, when we disclose to a physician or a psychologist, we usually don’t expect them to disclose back to us. In our friendships and other personal relationships, however, we generally expect that others will share information with us as we share it with them. Hans Neleman/Getty Images SELF- DISCLOSURE CAN SERVE MANY PURPOSES People self-disclose to one another for many reasons. Let’s say you have been laid o from your job, and you’re debating whether to tell your roommates. Disclosing this information to them might serve several purposes. One purpose is simply to share the information. Another might be to signal to your roommates that you could use their support or that you might be late with your share of the rent that month. Your disclosure might also remind your roommates that you trust them, and this act of trust may strengthen your friendships with them. Although self-disclosure can serve multiple functions, it isn’t appropriate in every case. There are times when it is more important to be discreet and to keep information to yourself. It’s often important to maintain professional relationships with colleagues or customers, for instance, because of the business you transact with them. In such relationships, you may ﬁnd it best to keep personal information to yourself and to focus your communication on the business you’re conducting. One reason discretion is often advisable in professional relationships is that information people self-disclose can later be used against them. Suppose you work for a construction company, and your job is to provide cost estimates for projects. Gena calls you and asks for a bid on a large demolition job. In the course of your many conversations with Gena, she discloses to you that her family is having severe ﬁnancial problems. Because of the norm of reciprocity, you feel as though you ought to disclose something equally personal to her. As a result, you tell her you have been having ﬁnancial problems, too, and are https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 5/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure considering looking for a new job to improve your situation—something you have not yet shared with your current employer. After Gena receives your company’s bid, she calls you to ask if you SLS Notes can lower the price. When you reply that you have o ered the lowest estimate you can reasonably provide, Gena asks you to reconsider, saying, “I’m sure you wouldn’t want your boss to know you’re thinking of looking for a new job.” At that point, you realize that Gena self-disclosed to you only to elicit a disclosure back from you that she could later use as leverage when negotiating the demolition bid. This example doesn’t suggest you shouldn’t trust others, but it illustrates the fact that some people use self-disclosure only to serve their own needs. In formal settings, such as a business dinner, discretion is often more appropriate than self-disclosure. Jetta Productions Inc/Getty Images SELF-DISCLOSURE IS INFLUENCED BY CULTURAL AND GENDER ROLES Self-disclosure is a ected by norms for gender and culture. 90 Page 101 Regarding gender, many people probably believe that women self-disclose more than men because disclosure and emotional expressiveness are a bigger part of the feminine gender role than of the masculine gender role, especially in North America. Is that generalization true? In fact, the evidence suggests that women, on average, self-disclose more than men, although the 91 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 6/12 di erence isn’t as large as many people believe it is. In an analysis of more than 250 studies about sex di erences in self-disclosure, communication researchers Kathryn Dindia and Mike Allen also found that the sex of the person receiving the disclosure makes a di erence. Speciﬁcally, women are more likely than men to disclose to other women, but women and men are equally likely to disclose to men. Self-disclosure is also a ected by cultural norms. In some cultures, such as those of North America and northern Europe, people are often encouraged to express themselves and self-disclose to their friends and family. Other cultures, such as most Asian and Middle Eastern cultures, value discretion and encourage people to disclose only under more limited circumstances. Consequently, people in those cultures may be inclined to disclose personal information exclusively within their families or romantic relationships rather than sharing it with social and professional acquaintances. Beneﬁts of Self-Disclosure There are many ways that self- disclosure can be good for us and for our relationships. In brief, four key beneﬁts of self- disclosure are 92 93 Enhancement of relationships and trust: Self-disclosure often helps us maintain high quality relationships. We tend to disclose the most to people we like, and we also tend to like people who disclose to us. Sharing appropriate self-disclosure with friends, relatives, and romantic partners helps us to maintain those relationships and reinforces the trust we share with those individuals. Conversely, a lack of self-disclosure in a long-term relationship such as a marriage or a close friendship can be a sign of distress in the relationship. 94 95 96 Reciprocity: Many of us follow a norm of reciprocity when it comes to self-disclosure: When we disclose to others, they tend to disclose back to us. Thus, one way to get to know other people is to tell them things about ourselves. When we share personal information with others, they may feel more comfortable doing the same in SLS Notes return. 97 Page 102 Emotional release: Sometimes the best part of self-disclosing is the feeling of getting something o your chest. Let’s say Caryn borrowed her sister Amy’s car and accidentally put a small dent in the fender. Instead of telling Amy about the dent, Caryn hoped she wouldn’t notice. Pretty soon, Caryn felt so guilty that she had trouble sleeping. When she ﬁnally disclosed the accident to Amy and apologized, she felt relief. Appropriate self-disclosures like Caryn’s can often provide emotional release. Several studies have also shown that they can reduce the stress of holding on to a secret. That is an important beneﬁt, because reducing stress can improve both mental and physical health. You can read more about the connection between disclosure and health in “Fact or Fiction?” 98 99 Helping others: You can self-disclose in ways that help other people, particularly when you’re consoling people who are going through hard times. If your friend is having di iculty handling his parents’ divorce, for instance, you might disclose how you managed traumatic situations in your own family. Your disclosure can provide comfort and signal to your friend that he’s not alone. Many self-help programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, use this principle to help their members realize they are all going through a similar struggle. Some disclosures even have the e ect of protecting 100 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 7/12 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure others against threats to their health—as in the situation when a person who is HIV positive discloses that status to health care providers and potential sexual partners. 101 fact OR ﬁction? LET IT OUT: DISCLOSURE DOES A BODY GOOD When you’ve gone through troubling times, have you ever noticed that you feel better after putting your feelings into words? Some people say they beneﬁt from talking with supportive friends or counselors about their experiences. Others say that even writing about their feelings in a private journal makes them feel better, both mentally and physically. Is that idea fact or ﬁction? A large body of research suggests that it’s a fact. Multiple experiments by psychologist James Pennebaker and his colleagues have demonstrated that disclosing feelings in writing— particularly feelings related to experiences of trauma —produces measurable beneﬁts in physical and mental health. In a typical study, participants write once a week for 20 minutes at a time over a three-week period about a traumatic event. People in a control group write on the same schedule about emotionally neutral topics, such as what they did over the weekend. Pennebaker and his team have found that compared to the control group, participants who disclose about traumatic events experience signiﬁcant improvements in their mental and physical health, some of which last several months after the experiment has ended. Pennebaker believes that suppressing emotions requires e ort that can also impair a person’s health. Expressing emotions in words—even in writing— may relieve people of the e ort required to suppress their emotions and cause their health SLS Notes to improve as a result. Stockbyte/PunchStock ASK YOURSELF How do you notice that you feel better, if at all, after disclosing your emotions? Are you generally more comfortable self-disclosing to members of one gender than to members of another, or do you feel equally comfortable disclosing to people of any gender? 8/12 https://learning.mheducation.com/static/awd/index.html?_t=1737042089644#/ 1/16/25, 10:49 AM Reading Mode: 4. Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure Source: Pennebaker, J. W., & Smyth, J. M. (2016). Opening up by writing it down: How expressive writing improves health and eases emotional pain (3rd ed.). Guilford Press. Enhancement of relationships, reciprocity, emotional release, and assistance to others are not the only beneﬁts provided by self-disclosure, but they’re among the most important for interpersonal communication. Before we conclude that self-disclosure is always a positive behavior, however, let’s take a look at some of its most notable risks. Students beneﬁt when they feel comfortable talking to their teachers about personal issues that a ect school performance. Fuse/Getty Images Risks of Self-Disclosure Page 103 Some scholars believe we spend so much time thinking about the beneﬁts of dis

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