Sex and Love Study Guide PDF

De Sousa: Love As Theatre 1) Love as a justifications for horrible actions that would never be condoned by a stranger 2) Sex is one of the only crimes that love can excuse 3) Playing at Love 4) Theatre of Love: sexual encounter, self-consciously limited to the present moment and without commitmen...

De Sousa: Love As Theatre 1) Love as a justifications for horrible actions that would never be condoned by a stranger 2) Sex is one of the only crimes that love can excuse 3) Playing at Love 4) Theatre of Love: sexual encounter, self-consciously limited to the present moment and without commitment to any subsequent relationship of any particular form, is a civilized successor to the old notion of romantic love. 5) Promiscuous Love NOT Promiscuous Sex 6) 4 Problematic Features of Romantic Love: 1) crystallization: - operation of the mind which turns whatever presents itself into a discovery of new perfections in the object of love - Bootstrapping: the process of constituting certain features of the love object into virtues by virtue of the very fact that they come to be seen as such - mechanism of self-deception here is idealization: the pretense that the object of love is an incarnation of the ideal 2) Platonic Ideal: - the idealization of the object, which goes with the fact that consummation is always impossible or delayed - encourages the self-deceptive process of crystallization. 3) The Anti-Platonic Ideal: - romantic love be essentially focussed on a singular, particular individuals - The Platonic lover can never, in this world, find love's true object. But the lover whose love is focused essentially on an individual is condemned to an equal and opposite metaphysical frustration. If I love you, I must love you as you uniquely are; I must love you for being who you are and no other. - Thus I must know what properties distinguish you from the other - two aspects of the Anti-Platonic intuition. One concerns time, and the other uniqueness 4) Transference and Repetition: - Our deepest emotional patterns are probably set in early years, and generally prove desperately difficult to change - our "new" emotions slot into old paradigm scenarios: in some measure, they are likely to consist in what psychoanalysts call transference  - Any qualitative experience is in principle repeatable. But what one is purportedly experiencing in romantic love, I have argued, is something in principle unrepeatable. The temptation is to repeat, in a kind of emotional superstition, the gestures associated with the unrepeatable experience. But actual repetition of the same gestures with a different person necessarily fail of their impossible metaphysical goal, while repetition with the same person will transform the experience. 5) Romantic Love -- is characterized by the feeling that nothing would actually constitute a consummation. The phenomenological mark of love is this: Love is the acute consciousness of the impossibility of possession. 7) Disappointment: the motor vehicle of religion and art - The deepest art and the most desperate religious belief is generated by those immovable disappointments that are metaphysically necessary - The difference between the suspension of disbelief required by religion and that required by art is that religion is deceptive whereas art is merely illusory. - people will not accept the possibility that there can be non-deceptive, honest simulations in the area of romantic love - condemned either to abstain from the exploration, in imaginative play, of the emotions typical of romantic love, or else to treat it like religion 8) In what was is the “theater of love” like art and religious rituals? - Killing in the name of religion - aesthetic … sacrilege - Suspension of belief  Nozick 1) Love is the desire to form a “we” - it feels to the two people that they have united to form and constitute a new entity in the world, what might be called a we? - You can be in romantic love with someone, however, without actually forming a we with her or him —that other person might not be in love with you. Love, romantic love, is wanting to form a we with that particular person, feeling, or perhaps wanting, that particular person ot be the right one for you to form a we with, and also wanting the other to feel the same way about you. - That new entity is created by a new web of relationships between them which makes them no longer so separate 2) How does romantic love change one’s identity? - To be part of “we” involves having a new identity, an additional one. This does not mean that you no longer have any individual identity or that your sole identity is as part of the we. However, the individual identity you did have will become altered. 3) What role does autonomy play in romantic love? - Autonomy does not negate the “we” 4) How does the “division of labor” work in romantic love? - A person in we might find himself coming across something interesting to read yet leaving it for the other person, not because he would not be interested in it but because the other would be more interested, and one of them reading it is sufficient for it to be registered by the wider identity now shared, we. 5) Loving someone for him, her, or zirself versus for his, her, or zir characteristics - In the complete intimacy of love, a partner knows us as we are, fully. It is no reassurance to be loved by someone ignorant of those traits and features we feel might make us unlovable. Sometimes these are character traits or areas of incompetence, clumsiness, or ignorance; sometimes these are personal bodily features. 6) Imprinting—what it is, how it works in human love, its origin, etc - With people, perhaps characteristics set off the imprint of love, but then the person is loved in a way that is no longer based upon retaining those characteristics. This will be helped if the love is based at first upon a wide range of characteristics; it begins as conditional, contingent upon the loved person's having these desirable characteristics, yet given their range and tenacity, it is not insecure. 7) Reasons why those in love do not experience a readiness to “trade up? - Once you have come to know a person well, it would take a large investment of time and energy to reach a comparable point with another person, so there is a barrier to switching. 8) Plato v. Nozick - Other half is less of a mythical joining and more of a collaborative “we” - Platos transcendence is more of Nozicks enlarged identity - Plato is Active v. Passive lover while Nozick emphasizes mutual autonomy - Plato is more metaphysical and Nozick is more practical and rational 9) Love as offering the potential for healing - In the full intimacy of love, the full person is known cleansed, and accepted. And healed.  Jung Carl Jung on Marriage as a Psychological Relationship 1. Collective Unconscious ❖ The collective unconscious is the shared reservoir of human experience and universal archetypes, inherited by all individuals. ❖ In relationships, the collective unconscious influences our emotions, instincts, and attractions, often operating beneath our awareness. It shapes how we perceive and interact with our partners. 2. Archetypes ❖ Archetypes are universal symbols and patterns that reside in the collective unconscious, such as the Anima, Animus, Shadow, and Hero. ❖ These archetypes influence our thoughts, feelings, and behavior in relationships, often driving unconscious desires or conflicts. 3. Role of Archetypes in Love Relationships ❖ In love, we often project archetypes like the anima (the inner feminine in men) or the animus (the inner masculine in women) onto our partners, leading to idealization or unrealistic expectations. ❖ These projections can create intense attraction initially but may lead to disillusionment if the partner cannot fulfill the archetypal role assigned to them. 4. Dangerous Tendencies/Problems in Relationships ❖ Projection: Relying too heavily on projections can create unrealistic expectations, masking the partner’s true individuality. ❖ Unconscious Shadow: Unacknowledged flaws and fears (the shadow) can manifest in destructive behaviors or repeated conflicts. ❖ Lack of Awareness: Operating from unconscious drives, rather than conscious understanding, often leads to misunderstandings and emotional volatility. 5. Projection and Its Consequences ❖ Projection occurs when we attribute our inner feelings, desires, or unresolved issues to our partner. ❖ While projection can initially foster attraction, it often leads to disappointment and conflict when the partner doesn’t align with these unconscious expectations. 6. Unconsciousness and Its Effect on Relationships ❖ Relationships dominated by unconscious behaviors are reactive, driven by instincts and unresolved psychological issues. ❖ Such relationships tend to be unstable, as partners remain unaware of the deeper forces shaping their interactions. 7. Consciousness and What It Requires ❖ Conscious relationships require self-awareness, emotional maturity, and the ability to reflect on one’s inner world. ❖ Partners must strive to recognize and integrate their projections, shadows, and archetypal influences to foster genuine connection. 8. Requirements for a Genuine/Psychological Relationship ❖ Individuation: Both partners must work on their personal growth and self-realization. ❖ Mutual Recognition: Each partner must see and accept the other as a unique individual, not as a projection of their unconscious desires. ❖ Emotional Awareness: Honest communication and emotional intelligence are vital. ❖ Commitment to Growth: The relationship must support the ongoing psychological and spiritual development of both partners. 9. Relationships Based on Instinct/Biology vs. Individuated Personality ❖ Instinctual/Biological Relationships: Driven by unconscious drives, attraction, and reproduction. These are reactive, often dominated by archetypes and projections. ❖ Relationships of Individuated Personalities: Based on self-awareness, mutual respect, and shared values. These relationships prioritize personal growth, psychological connection, and authenticity over mere instinctual attraction. In summary, Jung’s concept of marriage as a psychological relationship emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, individuation, and the integration of unconscious elements to create meaningful and enduring connections.  Horney on Love and Marriage 1) Patriarchal Ideal of Womanhood: one whose only longing si ot love a man and be loved by him, to admire him and serve him, and even to pattern herself after him. 2) Consequences of Inherited Traditions: a compressing of her participation in general tasks into the narrower sphere of eroticism and motherhood - Women struggle within this confine - Horneys take is that inherited tradition of womens roles is entirely too male centric (too much emphasis on love life) - all these girls experienced throughout their childhood an intensi- fied rivalry for the attention of a man, which either was hopeless from the beginning or resulted ultimately in defeat. 3) Overevaluation of Love: - Masterbation is unsatisfactory - To make up for the defeat in feminine rivalry - Traces of excitement  Beauvoir 1) Womens Love vs. Mans - Women love via faith while man wants the woman to love him - Men never abdicate completely - If women lose themselves in a mans being then theyre not with an oppressor such as parents - Women share in masculinity in that way - The supreme happiness of the woman in love is to be recognized by the loved man as a part of himself when he says “we” she is associated and identified with him, and she shares his prestige 2) Women's Deification of Man and its Effects -making a man out to be god-like salvages the mundane reality of what their purpose of life is -women let their own world collapse in contingency, for she really lives in his -women have their “right hand place” next to man - no man is really god 3) All Women Understand the Little Mermaid - every woman in love recognizes herself in the little mermaid who exhcanged her fishtail for feminine legs through love and then found themselves walking on needles and live coals 4) Servility: -women deny men the liberty of owning their mistakes so that they can continue to serve - love is a supreme effort to survive by accepting dependence to which she is condemned, but even with consent a life of dependency can be loved only in fear and servility 5) Genuine Love Requirements: - Founded on the mutual recognition of two liberties - -experience themselves both as self and other - Neither give up transcendence - Neither would be mutilated  Augustine: The City Of God 1. Origin of Lust According to Augustine, the origin of lust is tied to humanity’s fall from grace in the Garden of Eden. Before the fall, Adam and Eve were in perfect harmony with God, their own wills, and their bodies. Their sexual desires were natural and controlled by their reason and will. The Fall and Disobedience: ○ The disobedience of Adam and Eve introduced sin into human nature. ○ This disobedience disrupted the harmonious relationship between the soul and body, leading to a loss of control over bodily desires. Lust as a Consequence of Sin: ○ Lust is one manifestation of this loss of control, reflecting the disordered state of human nature after the fall. ○ Augustine sees lust as a powerful, involuntary force that demonstrates humanity’s estrangement from God and its inability to fully master its own body. 2. Disobedience/Lack of Control and Its Relationship to Lust For Augustine, the lack of control over lust is symbolic of humanity’s broader rebellion against God. Disobedience in the spiritual realm (turning away from God) is mirrored in the disobedience of the body to the soul. Pre-Fall State: ○ Before the fall, Adam and Eve experienced sexual union without shame because their bodies were entirely subject to their rational will. ○ Lust, as an overpowering and uncontrollable desire, did not exist. Post-Fall State: ○ After the fall, the harmony between the soul and body was broken. The body now acts in ways that defy the will, exemplified by lust and other involuntary desires. ○ Lust becomes a physical reminder of humanity’s spiritual disobedience. Shame and Lust: ○ Augustine notes that shame surrounding sexual desire and acts is a result of this lack of control. ○ The involuntary nature of lust is a direct consequence of original sin, highlighting humanity’s fallen state.  Platos Symposium Aristophanes’ Account of the Origin of Love How Love Originated: Aristophanes presents a myth where humans were originally spherical beings with two sets of limbs, two faces, and two sets of genitals. They were incredibly powerful and attempted to challenge the gods. To weaken them, Zeus split them in half. ○ This split created a longing in each half to reunite with their other half, which Aristophanes identifies as the origin of love. The Full Story of the “Circle People”/Original Humans Nature of Original Humans: ○ The original humans were three types: male (sun), female (earth), and androgynous (moon). ○ After being split, each half desperately sought its other half, illustrating the innate human desire for unity and wholeness. ○ Sexual union became one way to temporarily achieve this unity, but true love is about a deeper emotional and spiritual connection. Aristophanes’ Account of the Function/Purpose of Love Purpose of Love: ○ Love is the search for wholeness and the desire to reunite with our "other half." ○ It restores our original nature and provides a sense of completion and fulfillment. Aristophanes’ Explanation of What Lovers Really Want/Desire Ultimate Desire: ○ Lovers desire more than physical union; they want to merge their souls and become one. ○ This deeper connection stems from the longing to regain the unity that was lost when humans were split apart. Socrates/Diotima’s Explanation of Love as a Spirit (Daemon) Love as a Daemon: ○ Diotima explains that love is not a god but a spirit (daemon), an intermediary between the mortal and the divine. ○ It connects humans to higher truths, serving as a bridge between the earthly and the eternal. Socrates’/Diotima’s Explanation of the Paradoxical Nature of Love and Its Reasons Love’s Parentage: ○ Love was conceived during a banquet where Poverty (Penia) and Resource (Poros) came together. ○ This dual parentage makes love paradoxical: Love is poor, always lacking and seeking fulfillment. Love is resourceful, always striving and capable of achieving great things. ○ As a result, love is neither fully wise nor ignorant, neither wholly divine nor mortal. Love’s Relationship to Beauty and Immortality Beauty and Immortality: ○ Love is the desire to possess beauty forever. ○ This desire leads to procreation, either physically (creating children) or intellectually (creating ideas or virtuous acts), as a way of achieving immortality. Socrates’/Diotima’s Explanation of the Ascent/Ladder of Love The Ladder of Love: ○ Love begins with physical attraction to a single beautiful body. ○ It progresses to appreciation of the beauty of all bodies, then the beauty of the soul, followed by the beauty of laws, institutions, and knowledge. ○ Ultimately, the lover reaches the Form of Beauty, a pure, eternal, and unchanging ideal. Different Types of Beauty and Their Respective Value Types of Beauty: ○ Physical Beauty: Initial, superficial, and fleeting. ○ Spiritual/Intellectual Beauty: Deeper and more lasting. ○ The Form of Beauty: The ultimate and highest form of beauty, eternal and unchanging, serving as the source of all other beauty. The Form of Beauty Definition: ○ The Form of Beauty is the ultimate reality of beauty, existing beyond the physical world. ○ It is eternal, perfect, and unchanging, and all earthly beauty participates in it. ○ Contemplation of the Form of Beauty is the highest goal of love. Socrates’/Diotima’s Explanation of the Relationship Between Love and Wisdom Love and Wisdom: ○ Love seeks wisdom because it desires the eternal and the good. ○ A true lover progresses beyond physical beauty to seek knowledge and wisdom, ultimately aiming to grasp the Form of Beauty. ○ Love, as a daemon, connects lovers to higher truths and philosophical understanding. The Conditional Nature of Love Love’s Nature: ○ Love is conditional because it is always seeking something it lacks, whether it is beauty, wisdom, or immortality. ○ It is a perpetual striving for completeness and perfection, never fully satisfied but always inspiring growth and higher aspirations. In Symposium, Plato presents love as a multifaceted phenomenon, involving physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions, culminating in the philosophical pursuit of truth and beauty.