PerDev Q2 Mod1 Dynamics of Attraction and Love PDF 2020

**Quarter 2 - Module 1** **Dynamics of Attraction and Love**  **Personal Development -- Senior High School** **Alternative Delivery Mode** **Quarter 2 - Module 1: Dynamics of Attraction and Love** **First Edition, 2020** **Republic Act 8293, section 176** states that: No...

**Quarter 2 - Module 1** **Dynamics of Attraction and Love**  **Personal Development -- Senior High School** **Alternative Delivery Mode** **Quarter 2 - Module 1: Dynamics of Attraction and Love** **First Edition, 2020** **Republic Act 8293, section 176** states that: No copyright shall subsist in any work of the Government of the Philippines. However, prior approval of the government agency or office wherein the work is created shall be necessary for the exploitation of such work for a profit. Such agency or office may, among other things, impose as a condition the payment of royalty. Borrowed materials (i.e., songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand names, trademarks, etc.) included in this book are owned by their respective copyright holders. Every effort has been exerted to locate and seek permission to use these materials from their respective copyright owners. The publisher and authors do not represent nor claim ownership over them. Published by the Department of Education -- Division of Cagayan de Oro Schools Division Superintendent: Dr. Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, CESO V +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | **Development Team of the Module** | | | | Author: Shielamar L. Labiscase | | | | Reviewers: Rochelle A. Luzano, PhD | | | | Erlwinmer R. Mangmang | | | | Marilou I. Largo | | | | Illustrator and Layout Artist: Ryan Z. Roa | | | | Management Team | | | | Chairperson: Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, PhD, CESO V | | | | *Schools Division Superintendent* | | | | Co-Chairpersons: Rowena H. Paraon, PhD, | | | | *Asst. Schools Division Superintendent* | | | | Members Lorebina C. Carrasco, CID Chief | | | | Joel D. Potane, PhD, LRMS Manager | | | | Anita M. Guchoco, EPS Focal Person | | | | Gemma P. Pajayon -- PDO II | | | | Lanie M. Signo -- Librarian II | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ Printed in the Philippines by Department of Education -- Bureau of Learning Resources (DepEd-BLR) Office Address: Fr. William F. Masterson Ave., Upper, Balulang, Cagayan de Oro Telefax: (08822)855-0048 E-mail Address: cagayandeoro.city\@deped.gov.ph  We value your feedback and recommendations. **Department of the Education Republic of the Philippines** **Table of Contents** What This Module is About..............................................................................\...i What I Need to Know........................................................................................i How to Learn from this Module............................................................................ii Icons of this Module.......................................................................................\...ii What I Know.................................................................................................\...iii **Lesson 1:** **Personal Relationships...................................................1** **Lesson 2: Ways of Showing Attraction and Love** What I Need to Know.....................................................................6 **Summary**.......................................................................................................12 **Assessment: (Post Test)**.................................................................................13 **Key to Answers**.......................................................................................\...\...\...15 **References**...........................................................................................\...\...\...\...16 ***What This Module is About*** This is a very interesting module since the topic is about personal relationships. The concept of relationship is very broad, complex, and varies from person to person. This module will provide information regarding the concept in a meaningful and easier way. This aims to introduce the different types of relationships depending on the nature of the interaction. Researchers have found that relationships are important to a person\'s happiness. The absence of close relationships can produce negative effects such as feeling worthless, powerless, and alienated. We can say that every relationship has specific objectives or purposes that a person wishes to pursue, either because of need, want, and/or desire. The very first meaningful relationship every person encounters is with one\'s mother. The mother-child relationship is already established even before birth because of the connection. The other connections a person encounters will be tackled in this module. This module contains varied activities that can help you build and maintain a good relationship with your family, friends, and significant other by identifying the appropriate way of expressing your attraction and love to them. 1. 2. At the end of this module, you should be able to: 1. 2. -- ------------ -- -- -- **Lesson** **1** -- ------------ -- -- --  Pre-historic humans were interacting already through different forms of behavior such as smiling, greeting each other, showing love, affection, and loyalty, and/or hunting food together. These were all necessary for their survival especially in the group that they belonged to. The primary reason why human beings need to belong is for survival. Today, belongingness still exists since it has many benefits such as having a support system when you need someone to share your sadness, happiness, and other concerns, especially among adolescents. In the adolescence stage, a sense of identity begins to form which involves shaping values and setting future goals. Adolescents also develop social skills and interact with the people around them. Nurturing relationships with other people help us to thrive. Hence, we need to understand the relationships formed by teenagers among the people around them. **Activity 1. The People Around Me** Directions: Using available materials at your home, draw three rectangles as shown below. Lists down the people whom you considered as family, friends, and partner. You may also draw or put pictures of them if you want. Then in one sentence write a description of your relationships below each of your drawings or pictures.  As you have listed the people with whom you have close connections in your Activity 1, now you will know what kind of close connections you have with them. These are personal relationships, family relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships. **Personal Relationship** This kind of relationship refers to the association and close connection between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow and form mutual experiences. Personal relationships generally refer to family, friends, and significant others. Changes in the physical and cognitive aspects go along with the changes in relationships especially with family and friends during the adolescence period. Moreover, in the adolescence stage, a new understanding of one\'s self occurs. This may include independence, identity, and self-esteem. A person's personal relationships then play a significant role in the adolescent\'s pursuit of self-understanding. **Family Relationship** Family is generally defined as people living together in a household who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption. It may include siblings and parents whom you grew up with. One's family relationship can also be extended to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins though not living together. In a family, roles are also defined. Parents and older relatives' role is to guide, discipline, and support younger members. Family bond plays a vital role in a person\'s well-being. It helps form other kinds of relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships bound by love and closeness. On the other hand, relationships, in general, may involve arguments, disagreements, moments of anger, and hurt. There may be a usual increase in arguments and conflicts with parents when adolescents assert their independence as their way of finding self-identity. However, these are short-lived for families when there is love, care, and understanding. In families, the physical expression of bonds also varies. Family members express affection through hugging, kissing on the cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the hair, patting on the back, etc. in whatever ways affection is expressed. These actions show closeness and respect for each other. **Friendship** Friends are the people who are not related to us by blood but we choose to interact with them. They are the people with whom we share our trust, respect, and care. We feel that we can confide in them and we want to spend time with them. Friendship is a reciprocal relationship. Both people must see each other as a friend for the relationship to exist. Good friendships are mutually respectful, supportive and share common interests and ideas. It should be built on honesty, support, and loyalty. There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to some friends than others. Some friendships, especially if they have only known each other for a short time, may not share personal issues or concerns. Usually, you may find that you feel more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known well. Furthermore, friends who are very close and have known each other well are referred to as "best friends or close friends". Some people have many friends, while others may only have one or two. It is not in the number of people with whom you can call friends but in the quality and that everyone is different. Some friendships can be close where they choose to greet each other by hugging or kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact or may simply shake hands. However, romantic contact or being intimate physically is not appropriate in a friendship. **Romantic Relationship** A romantic relationship is when you feel strongly attracted to the other person. The attraction encompasses a person\'s physical attributes and personality. This should be reciprocated by the other person in the relationship. A romantic relationship is described as the closest form of relationship in which, the two people who are involved will often describe themselves as being attracted to each other and/or \"in love\". They feel a strong connection and bond with each other that they do not feel with anyone else, even with close friends. The bond is also exclusive and monogamous. People in a romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways to contact each other by phone and the likes. An example of a romantic relationship for adolescents is between a boyfriend and girlfriend. Arguments and disagreements in romantic relationships also occur. These arguments can be avoided through effective communication and understanding. In other cases, if there are frequent arguments, the two people involved may decide to seek help from friends or adults. As two people continually share interests and desires to live their lives together, they eventually discuss their future plans. For adolescents, various kinds of physical contact are not appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips, and sexual intercourse. These activities may lead to premarital sex and untimely pregnancy. And so, for the romantic relationship to be successful for both adolescents, it is built on love, trust, respect, support, and acceptance. **Activity 2. My Family, Friends, and Significant Other\'s Portrait** Directions: Find a place to work in silence. Think about your family, friends, and significant other (if there\'s any). Assess the quality of your relationships with them. On a blank sheet of paper, draw the figure below. Illustrate the portrait of your family, friends, and significant other (if there\'s any) in the designated box. Remember that there is no right or wrong illustration. Your illustration should reflect how you perceive your relationship with them right now. At the back of your paper, answer the guide questions. **Guide Questions:** 1. How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of your family, friends, and partner (if there's any)? 2. What made it easy or difficult for you to illustrate it? 3. What are the new things you realized or discovered about your personal relationships?  **Activity 3. Journal Reflection** Directions: Use the given questions to do your reflection journal. 1. From your responses in Activity 2, how will you improve your personal relationships with your family and friends? 2. How will you set boundaries with your friends and significant other (if you have) so that you will have a healthy relationship? -- ------------ -- -- -- **Lesson** **2** -- ------------ -- -- -- Every human being has his way of expressing his attraction, love, and commitment due to our different life experiences. When the attraction between two persons is discussed, it is often perceived as based on physical appearance while this might be true to a certain extent but there is more to the attraction. According to Helen Fisher, attraction is primarily on physiology or certain hormones that get attracted to others and are the first stage during the changes of personality development which leads to closeness, love, and commitment. However, disappointments in relationships occur usually because of the misunderstanding about the different ways of expressing their attraction, love, and commitment. Thus, let us explore in this lesson how we can express our attraction, love, and commitment to others. **Activity 4: The People I am Attracted to** **Directions:** Write down the name of the person/s that best fit each statement in the second column. In the third column, write the reason/s of your attraction similar to the statement given. You may answer as many as you can. The first statement is given as an example. +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | **Statement** | **Name of Person/s** | **Reasons** | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | I am feeling | Ben | Lovely eyes | | attracted to him. | | | | | | Beautiful smile | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | 1\. I like him/her | | | | because he/she is | | | | physically | | | | attractive. | | | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | 2\. I am attracted | | | | to him/her because | | | | I am familiar with | | | | him/her and we | | | | often see each | | | | other. | | | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | 3\. I am attracted | | | | to him/her because | | | | we are alike. | | | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+ | 4\. I am attracted | | | | to him/her because | | | | we have the same | | | | feelings or we like | | | | each other. | | | +-----------------------+-----------------------+-----------------------+  In an attempt to understand the dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment various approaches explored it. It can be explained through physiological, emotional, and even historical contexts. I. **Biological Model of Love** As proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are three brain systems of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Each also involves different neurochemicals in the brain. Depending on a person, a love relationship can start in any of these three. **Lust** refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity. It is also described as a sex drive associated primarily with estrogens and androgens. **Attraction** is described as the love-struck phase. It involves focusing attention on a particular person. Many factors influence attraction such as physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, and reciprocity. a. b. c. d. **Attachment** is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another. Usually, long-lasting commitments are exchanged when people are attached even across time and space. II. **Triangular Theory of Love** **Intimacy** is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. It is characterized by closeness, connectedness, and boundedness. **Passion** is described as an intense emotion towards a person. It is also shown as compelling interest for someone. Like having a desire to spend time with a person most of the time. **Commitment** is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements with another person. Wherein, the values of integrity and respect are evident in the relationship. Ways to express commitment in a relationship are showing loyalty and conveying honesty. The combination of these three (3) components of love can produce eight (8) types of love or relationship as shown in the table. ------------------- -------------- ------------- ---------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Types of Love** **Intimacy** **Passion** **Commitment** **Example** Liking Yes No No Friendships Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first sight or being obsessed with a person Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or Arrange marriage Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated by a passion Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking passion such as those between family members or close friends Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded emotionally and physically to another person Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love ------------------- -------------- ------------- ---------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- III. **Theory Love Styles** Ancient Greeks studied love and giving each type a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers a theory derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries. **Philia -- Affectionate Love** usually runs deep in true friendship. It occurs without romantic attraction between friends or family members. It is also called brotherly love when both people share the same values and respect. It can be shown by engaging in deep conversation, exchanging beliefs and imperfections, being open and trustworthy, and being supportive in difficult times. **Pragma -- Enduring Love** is described as a mature love that develops over time. To reach this relationship commitment and efforts are needed. With the partner by your side, you are \"standing in love\" instead of \"falling in love\". It is expressed by strengthening the bond, seeking and showing effort with your partner, and choosing to work with your partner. **Storge -- Familiar love** is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as well as best friends. It's an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection. It usually flows between parents and children or childhood friends. Ways to show this love are sacrificing one\'s time, self, or personal pleasures, showing gratitude, and quickly forgiving. You also share memorable and impactful moments. **Eros -- Romantic Love** is characterized by personal infatuation and physical pleasure. It is a passionate love displayed through physical affection. In this case, admiration is focused on someone\'s physical body. Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as hugging and kissing even if it not appropriate yet. **Ludus -- Playful love** is a child-like and flirtatious love found in the beginning. This type of love consists of teasing and playful motives between two people. It is shown by having fun together. **Mania -- Obsessive Love** as named is described as obsessiveness or madness over love. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness. To avoid it, obsessive or possessive behavior must be recognized to be properly addressed. One should learn to focus on oneself more than another person. **Philautia -- Self Love** is having a healthy "self-compassion" towards one's self. It is when you recognize your self-worth and don't ignore your personal needs. Self-love begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being. **Agape** **-- Selfless Love** is the highest love to offer. It is an empathetic attitude of love. It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is considered unconditional love. It is expressed by helping the other person improve his life. **Activity 5. Love Language in the Family** **Directions:** This activity aims to help you assess your preference in showing your love towards your parents, friends, and significant other. Take the \"Love Language Personal Profile\" based on Dr. Gary Cahpman's The 5 Love Languages using this link [[https://bit.ly/3cpjE1H]](https://bit.ly/3cpjE1H). If you do not have internet access, you can refer to the descriptions below. List the descriptions that most likely refer to you. Your love language is usually the one that has the most descriptions. +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Love Language** | **Description** | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Words of Affirmation** | - \"Actions don\'t always speak | | | louder than the word\". | | | | | | - Unsolicited compliments mean | | | the world to you. | | | | | | - Wanting to hear \"I love | | | you\" or other positive | | | compliments you\'re your | | | partner. And if you don\'t | | | hear it, then you might feel | | | unloved. | | | | | | - Insults can leave you | | | shattered and are not easily | | | forgotten. | | | | | | - You wanted to hear kind and | | | encouraging words that build | | | you up. | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Acts of Service** | - Doing nice things for other | | | people and anything you do to | | | ease the burden of the other | | | person are \"acts of | | | service.\" | | | | | | - Whether it\'s changing | | | someone\'s oil, cleaning the | | | house, or giving a back rub, | | | doing things to help make the | | | other person happy is what | | | this one is about. | | | | | | - Helping with homework can be | | | an expression of love for | | | you. | | | | | | - The words you wanted to hear | | | are \"Let me do it for you\". | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Receiving Gifts** | - You value giving and | | | receiving gifts and some do | | | not. | | | | | | - So, if you measure your | | | partner's love by how many | | | gifts you are given, then | | | your love language is | | | "receiving gifts." | | | | | | - Don't mistake this love | | | language for materialism; the | | | receiver of the gifts wanted | | | on the love, thoughtfulness, | | | and effort behind the gift. | | | | | | - A missed birthday or a | | | thoughtless gift would be | | | disastrous. | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Quality Time** | - You measure the quality of | | | love by how much time other | | | people want to spend with | | | you. | | | | | | - If you don\'t get enough | | | \"together time,\" then you | | | might feel unloved. | | | | | | - Being there for this type of | | | person is critical, but being | | | there -- with the TV off, | | | fork and knife down, and all | | | chores and tasks standby | | | makes you feel truly special | | | and loved. | | | | | | - Distractions, postponed | | | activities, or the failure to | | | listen can be hurtful. | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | **Physical Touch** | - A person whose primary | | | language is physical touch is | | | not very touchy. | | | | | | - Hugs, pats on the back, | | | holding a hand and thoughtful | | | touches on the arm can show | | | excitement, concern, care, | | | and love. | | | | | | - Physical presence and | | | accessibility are crucial, | | | while neglect or abuse can be | | | unforgivable and destructive. | | | | | | - Appropriate and timely | | | touches communicate warmth, | | | safety, and love to you. | +-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+  **Activity 6: Love Combination** **Directions:** Identify the perfect combination of a different theory of love styles that can create something beautiful in your connection with your family, friends, and significant other. Though there isn\'t a perfect equation for every relationship, these combinations can provide a perspective on how to work various types of love into your relationships. ------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Relationship** **Combination of Types of Love** Family \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Friendship \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Significant Other \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_+\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Activity 7: Journal Reflection** **Directions**: Based on What\'s More: Activity 6 and 7, upon knowing the results of your self-assessment and the formula of relationship you have created, make a reflection by doing the following in your journal notebook or a paper. 1. Write your love language and the love languages of your listed family members such as parents and siblings, friends, and significant others. 2. Discuss how you can further express your love to them to grow your relationship with them. **Summary** 1. Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. 2. Different Types of Relationships: family, friendship, romantic relationships. 3. Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. 4. A factor of Attraction is physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity. 5. Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment 6. The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love: Non love, liking, infatuation, empty love, fatuous, companionate, romantic consummate 7. Eight love styles name after Greek names: - PHILIA -- Affectionate Love - PRAGMA -- Enduring Love - STORGE -- Familiar love - EROS -- Romantic Love - LUDUS --Playful love - MANIA --Obsessive Love - PHILAUTIA --Self Love - AGAPE --Selfless Love 8. Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Cahpman - Words of Affirmation - Acts of Service - Receiving Gifts - Quality Time - Physical Touch 9. Important aspects to nurture a relationship are the following: mutual respect, compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal dignity, vulnerability