Midterm Exam 2025: Close Relationships PDF

Midterm Thursday, January 30, 2025 12:28 PM Importance of Close Relationships Love and being loved is one of the most basic human needs Closest relationships tend to be a vital source of meaning and purpose in life Maslow's Hierarchy of needs ○ Top to bottoms ▪ Sel...

Midterm Thursday, January 30, 2025 12:28 PM Importance of Close Relationships Love and being loved is one of the most basic human needs Closest relationships tend to be a vital source of meaning and purpose in life Maslow's Hierarchy of needs ○ Top to bottoms ▪ Self-actualization ▪ Esteem ▪ Love/belonging ▪ Safety ▪ physiological Need to Belong "Regular social contact with those to whom we feel connected" - Baumeister and Leary We only need a few close relationships ○ The drive to find more social contact is greatly reduced after having the couples of people/close friends How do we know that this 'Need to Belong' exists? ○ When an important relationship is threatened, we experience distress ○ If it didn't matter so much we would just walk away and find other people Support for the 'Need to Belong' Close relationships put people at ease When faced with a possible shock ○ People who were able to hold hands with their partner (and were happy in their relationship) were calmer ○ It matters who we are connecting with Having/seeing (a picture) of a loved one can reduce pain and distress More happiness and better subjective well-being ○ When they have healthier relationships Marriage and family has the most connection to happiness Higher mortality and poorer health in people with few close relationships ○ Men are more likely to experience mortality in the next few years after losing their loved ones We are Social Species We have evolved to need others Solitary animals in the wild (things we don't have) ○ Sharp teeth ○ Thick fur ○ Hunting We don't need these things anymore because we have each other Living in groups affords us physical protection ○ More access to food, shelter, mates We don't have to take care of our young ourselves ○ We have garnered skills to keep us warm ○ If we don't have shelter we can huddle together to keep us warm Being social helps us know what is a quality mate and what isn't Evolution and Relationships Sexual selection ○ Advantages that result in greater success at reproduction ○ Not about 'survival of the fittest' ▪ How well can you pass your genes onto the next genderation? ○ All about success at reproduction ▪ Because of the social circles (now and ancestral past) we can know who is a good high-quality mate ○ Desire to be around others ▪ More reproduction ▪ It is present in everyone Cis Man Cis Woman 100 sexual partners in 1 year 100 sexual partners in 1 year - Up to 100 children - 1 Child Close Relationships Page 1  - Up to 100 children - 1 Child Small Investment (to have sex) Large Investment - Doesn't matter as much for the quality of the mate - Only one person will give their quality to the child Less choosy More Choosy These patterns are still existent to this day On average ○ These basic underlying patterns of large groups do remain the same ▪ Women less interested in casual sex ▪ Women insist on □ Smarter men □ More emotionally stable men □ More prestigious □ Kinder men Men are more likely to use short-term mating strategy ○ Prefer shorter term sexual relaitonships + many more partners ○ Short term = women who appear sexually available ○ Long term = 'chaste' women (women who aren't having a lot of sex) ▪ He knows at least a little bit that the baby is his (before technology that could tell us) Women are more likely to use a long-term mating strategy ○ The efforts of the man to provide for her isn't spread between many families ○ Prefer long term relationships - more monogomous ○ Short term = charismatic, dominant, masculine ○ Long term = status, good financial prospects, safe environment These are aspects that have been cooked into us over the course of generations ○ We care more about other things now but at the base this is something that should be kept ○ Biology matter - the animalistic behaviour we engage in does matter This is consistent between many cultures ○ Nail in the point that it is in our biology What Makes a Relationship 'intimate' Knowledge ○ Some sort of history with this person ○ Understand feelings, base desires Interdependence ○ Extent to which partners need and influence each other ▪ More objective ○ If the partner doesn’t influence the other person it probably isn't a intimate relationship ○ Strong ○ Frequent ○ Diverse ○ Enduring ▪ Lasts a long time Caring ○ Care about this person more than you would other people Trust ○ If a friend does something shitty we may not end it there but you trust your partner in a different way ○ Doesn't mean trust can't be broken and rebuilt ○ You expect to be treated well and that is trust ○ If trust is threatened - it is possible that overall intimacy is threatened ▪ Interdepence and intimacy threatened Responsiveness ○ They are concerned for your welfare and you are concerned for theirs ○ Understanding and supporting each others needs ○ Is a person really trying to make you feel better? Mutuality ○ Considered an 'us' ○ We decide, we want to do ○ Acknowledging your attachment for one another Commitment ○ Expect partnerships to continue indefinitely ▪ If you're going to break up at the end of the year it may not be intimate ▪ Understanding □ Time □ Effort □ Resources □ Invested for a long time ○ There is an expectation of enduring ○ How much are you putting into each other? Close Relationships Page 2  The more overlap you see the closer the relationship ○ Also more mutuality "us" The more you have of each of these qualities the more intimate your relationship is Doesn't have to be perfect ○ Thinks move around - sometimes stressed about our own things ○ They stronger each are the more intimate the relationship As passion goes down - intimacy decreases Research Methods Psychological constructs are the intangible aspects of relationships, which can't be measured directly Very different from other types of sciences We can never measure objectively Examples of psychological constructs ○ Love ▪ We would never know if they are in love ○ Trust ○ Cooperation ▪ We can never know how much cooperation is working in a relationship We can only directly observe behaviour ○ Behaviour can tell us a little / a clue about thoughts and behaviours ○ There are two other things going on BTS ▪ Thoughts ▪ Feelings ▪ They are private and invisible and we cannot see each Researchers rely on operationalization, or translation of the construct into concrete, measurable terms All researchers will look in slightly different ways When we are communicating the things we are talking about we have to provide a very specific definition of what we mean ○ We have to put it into the concrete/measurable terms A variable is a characteristic on which people differ Takes on more than one value in a group of people Self-Reports Self-report data is comprised of participants' own accounts of their behaviours, attitudes, and experiences ○ Open ended questions ▪ Participants to use their own words in response ▪ There is some bias because of how we would judge a paragraph written about a partner or something ○ Fixed response ▪ The same range of choices is presented to each participant ▪ (Strongly disagree to strongly agree) The Love Scale Close Relationships Page 3  ○ This is a fixed scale Have to make sure it is empirically validated ○ Always make sure when using a survey it is validated Self-Report Pros Cons Some relationship constructs can only be Interpretation of the construct measured by self-report - Ex: When was the last time you had sex? People's interpretation of sex is different (penetrative or no? Hetero of no?) No specialized equipment needed - no matter how specific there will always be interpretations that we cannot account for Difficulties in recall and awareness - they may not have good understanding on their emotions - some may be very aware of how important physical attractiveness means to them / impacts decisions and others not so much - Biggest fight? They might not remember that well and may disagree on what exactly happened Social desirability bias - Distortion as a result of wishing to make a good impression on others - How many times have you cheated? (Maybe say 0) Observational Measures Observational measures involve watching peoples' actual behaviours in relationships Partners can be observers of each other and themselves ○ Ecological momentary assessment ▪ Short periods of observation to capture samples of behaviour ▪ Behaviours are very different in a research setting vs. at home setting □ That’s why the ecological may be helpful Having a diary or notebook where you observe and capture ▪ Another way that this is being used now is short surveys being sent to phones every once in a while □ Generally want to keep the surveys short and instant □ If something is happening right then there will not be problems with memory/recall Pros Cons Directly observe relationship behaviours Expensive, Time consuming Relatively objective Observer Influence: Act of observing may change participants' behaviour - interrater reliability: a measure of the extent to which observers agree on - You wouldn't argue that hard infront of a researcher or be as cute an observed behaviour - Making sure there is more than one person looking at the results is more Sentiment override: Partners' general feelings about the relationship objective overwhelm their perceptions - Once we figure out we're reliable we may start coding independent? ○ Probably best if we take a multi-methods approach ▪ Psychological measurement is so not precise we want as much information as possible Correlational Research Correlational Research ○ People are measured as they are - examines the degree to which variables are related to each other Pros Cons Can demonstrate positive correlations (e.g. coffee drinking and energy) or negative correlations (e.g. coffee drinking and Cannot support causation sleep) The more info we get the more possible there may seem like a correlation when there really isn't one Scatter Plots Close Relationships Page 4 Scatter Plots Positive, negative and nautral (?) relationships Correlational Design Third variable problem Flaw: Correlational research cannot prove causation! (Does A cause B?) Actor-Partner Interdependence Model Rejection sensitivity: The degree that you feel rejected depending on how big or small the thing is ○ I don't like your haircut If they're both extremely sensitive to rejection the relationship may not seem so great Does the sensitivity match up to the partner + do the satisfaction match up When the guy comes in and goes 'I thought you were gonna wear this' and everyday she says 'you hate me I don't like when you comment on that' and he feels less satisfied because he thinks he's getting into these fights Experimental Research Experimental research ○ Researchers put participants into groups, using random assignment One or more variables intentionally manipulated ○ There should be no difference between groups except the something intentionally being manipulated Allows for causal conclusions Involves ○ An independent variable (a cause that is tested) and a dependent variable (an effect that is tested) ○ A variable is leveled! ▪ Couples therapy as a whole is nothing ▪ If a couple is in couples therapy vs not is the independent variable ▪ A couple's satisfaction is the dependent (whether or not there is a change) Test differences between groups with statistical tests to determine if the difference is larger than would be expected by chance Experiment: Byrne and Nelson (1965) The more things stay the same the more confidence we have that the results was due to the manipulated variable Close Relationships Page 5  The error bars (margin of error) is how we know (pretty safely) that there is a statistically significant different If the error bars are really large (or overlap) we would not be able to make a statistical claim We are a social species! We have evolved to need others Living in groups affords us physical protection, more access to food, shelter, mates An Infant's Social World Signals from the child to make sure parents and community will take care of them ○ Cute features ○ Social response ▪ If your baby is cute but doesnt act like they want to be around you…. You wont want to chill that much ▪ The social smile ○ Attachment Cuteness fades so other tactics have to start being used Biological Prepardness Sensory and perceptual systems are biologically prepared to be sensitive to social stimuli Babies' responsiveness to other people increases caregivers' interest and attention to infant's well-being Babies are inherently selfish - babies are greedy at the beginning of life because they are helpless Visual Babies look longer at shapes that resemble faces ○ Top heavy ^o^ ○ This is found as young as couple days old As they grow older, they will fine tune recognition to those available in their environment Babies are able to differentiate their white families and white people because that’s what they see ○ White baby in a white family in a white community They slowly start to lose the ability to be able to differentiate people of other races ○ It can still be done but we're not as good at it Close Relationships Page 6  ○ Auditory Babies are listening before they are born ○ If you tell the baby the same story over and over again in the womb, when they're born and you tell the story, they wont be interested compared to a new story Eyes open widere and infant looks for speaker when hearing human voices Babies process high pitched sound ○ "motherese" or infant-directed speech ○ Sounds more extended, more exaggerated, more melodic ○ Parents instinctually do this ▪ Research done that this is how baby learn language By 9 months, we tune out sounds from non-native languages Taste, Touch, Smell Prefer the smell of their own mothers' milk ○ Being able to smell the milk helps the baby know where their mother is Prefer the taste of foods consumed by their mothers ○ Through breastmilk they'll understand what their mothers like and like it ○ Or even the foods mom liked when she was pregnant ○ Prepares them for the culture they'll likely grow up in Feel soothed by patting, stroking and rubbing› ○ Difference between yourself rubbing your own vs others feels differnet ○ They like the social nature ▪ Other people are around and taking care of them Biological Preparedness allows babies to learn ○ Adults are responsive to them ○ They can control other people's behaviour ○ Turn taking ○ They can alter the interaction with emotion ○ Rules of social exchanges What skills are developed? Infants as young as 4 to 6 months can distinguish between happy, sad, and neutral emotions Self-conscious emotions ○ 18 to 24 months old ○ Require understanding others' reactions ○ Feelings of success when expectations are met ○ Feelings of failure when they are not Self-Awareness Babies are born without self-awareness ○ Unaware of an identity ○ Early on, unaware of their body Self-awareness is important for the formation of reciprocal relationships How can we tell if a child is self-aware? ○ Rouge test ▪ Typically passed between 15 and 18 months of age Egocentrism ○ Difficulty seeing the world from another person's point of view Perspective taking ○ Ability to understand how a situation appears to another person Older children act as amateur psychologists ○ Explain others' actions be examining their desires and goals Close Relationships Page 7  ○ Explain others' actions be examining their desires and goals Children tend to start passing this task around 3-4 years old Understanding Others Theory of Mind Understanding of the relations between mind and behaviour Ability to attribute the thoughts and feelings of others Close Relationships Page 8 Recursive Thinking "He think that she thinks" reasoning Theory of Mind and Social Outcomes In childhood and adolescence In older adults Attachment Enduring social-emotional relationships ○ With a primary caregiver ○ Acts as a secure base -> provides security and protection John Bowlby ○ Children who form an attachment are more likely to survive ○ Attachment experiences eventually become internalized Close Relationships Page 9 Stages of Attachment Pre-attachment (birth to 6 weeks) Caregiving-eliciting behaviours such as crying, smiling Attachment in making (6 weeks to 8 months) Behave differently with familiar and unfamiliar adults True Attachment (8 to 18 months) Attachment figure is singled our as a special individual, trusts that this figure will be there to meet the child's needs Reciprocal relationship (18+ months) Acts as true partners in relationship, take initiative and negotiate with attachment figure Attachment styles The way in which an individual attaches to or relates with others Develops based on what is adaptive to the given environment Mary Ainsworth: The Strange Situation What will a child do when they are separated from their caregiver? Generally -> Cry ○ How do they react to the caregiver returning? Internal working model Set of expectations about caregivers' availability and responsiveness generally and in times of stress ○ Internal conception of what to expect from relationships ○ The relationship with the parent is the first relationship ▪ Babies are learning the best ways to approach a relationship from what they know so far When a baby has a really positive internal working model ○ Parent is taking really good care - always happy to see them ○ In the future ▪ When they think of potential new relationships they can expect it to be similar - they can be trusted ○ Sometimes it's not positive ▪ It's not always the parent's intention to be unavailable (post-partum depression) □ Socioeconomic barriers If they're working really hard to get and create care - it plays an important role (constantly working or mat leave isn't possible) Secure Attachment → more stable and higher quality romantic relationships in adolescence and adulthood ○ higher quality friendships ○ fewer problems with peers Relationships in adulthood more affected by parental support in middle childhood? Insecure Attachment → higher anxiety, aggression, anger ○ Only if lacking sensitive and supportive parenting? Early attachment does not always lead to supportive parental relationships Is the Important of attachment universal? Attachment theory was built around western notions of 'good parenting' Cross-cultural research has confirmed that most of attachment theory is universal ○ Infants attach to at least one caring adult ○ Secure attachment is more common than insecure attachment ○ Attachment security positively predicts competence 'competence' looks different across cultures ○ In the west - we may become more emotionally expressive ▪ Something taught by a parent in the western world ○ May not be the case everywhere ○ More collectivist ▪ Expressing emotions is not ideal ▪ Better to keep it to yourself to maintain social harmony ○ Some cultures more into physical touch - others more facial ▪ Both these things can achieve secure attachment ▪ Just depends on what parents feel is more comfortable for them The way in which security is established is different across cultures Close Relationships Page 10  The way in which security is established is different across cultures Bartholomew: Four Styles, Not Three There is more than one reason that people may avoid being close to others Grouping people may not be the best ○ Context matters - reductionistic ○ Some people could have more than one ○ Just because we are secure with most people - doesn't mean we would be with everyone What if you fall into secure? But you're on the cusp of fearful ○ If you were to have slightly different conceptions - you could easily fall into another group ○ People on the very edge are hard to compare ▪ Essentially we don't take in the spectrum? ○ We need to be really careful about groups Look at spectrums ○ Some people fall really high or really low ○ Quad chart What Determines Attachment? Child's temperament ○ Biologically-based behavioural styles that are stable across situations ▪ Ex: negative emotionality, soothability, positive affect If we're a very negative baby - our caregivers are less likely to give positive feedback ○ Negative emotionality ▪ For some babies - it takes them really long to get upset but other babies are very emotional ○ Soothability ▪ Does it take hours to calm them down or are they easy to soothe? Caregiver factors ○ Is caregiver ready for/planning for pregnancy? ○ Does caregiver enjoy intimacy and are they comfortable with closeness? ▪ If they don't think it's important or comfortable they may not spend as much time with the baby ▪ Maybe the parent is insecurely attached Later learning from other relationships ○ We are set up with some sort of internal working model when babies but it can change ○ If you start with an insecure style of attachment and you meet someone who is really secure, trustworthy - you can learn that people can be trustworthy ○ You're not doomed! ○ You can also start off very secure and the later in life and a negative/bad s/o can change your attachment Intention to change ○ If you have an insecure attachment - you can change it ○ For those who truly want to change it - they can ▪ Surround yourself with people who have a good understanding of a healthy relationship ○ The change can last forever but it depends ▪ If you continue to work at it you can change it for life Social Referencing Infants will attend to caregiver cues to interpret the situations when in an unfamiliar or ambiguous environment ○ If parents have a bad reaction to something - children are more likely to stray away from it ○ If parents give bad vibes (reactions) from the caregiver - they child is likely to be uninterested Childs reaction is also dependent on any adult's reaction ○ If they're playing and the experimenter comes in and hates it - they baby will learn from that ○ They learn from other adults in their environment Close Relationships Page 11  ○ They learn from other adults in their environment ▪ They care what others think - they want to create good social circles and relationships Caregiver-Dependent Skills Joint Attention State in which both partners are actively engaged around a particular object, task or event and are aware of each other's active involvement Understanding relevant things in our environment Sometimes children have a hard time engaging in join attention ○ Don't pick up on the parents trying to get them to pay attention to things Sometimes parents aren't fully there - watching TV or distracted Join attention starts at 5 months and gets better as they get older Behaviours ○ Initiation Acts ▪ Putting hand on toy and showing toy to child, playing with it, engaging ▪ Pay attention to this - look at it ○ Response Acts ▪ Babies looking back and letting parent know they're interested □ They may be pointing and giggling to the toy ▪ Acknowledgement of the initiation acts ▪ Examples □ Nodding, gaze, pointing, smiling Really great if child engages in initiation and parent responds When children are better at joint attention ○ They're less likely to be ▪ Disruptive ▪ Negatively Emotional Just because an initiation act is being thrown out - it doesn't mean the response is established Established joint attention ○ Requires 4 consecutive joint attention behaviours between partners ○ EJA more likely to predict emotion regulation and turn-taking Readings The Influence of Experience Attachment Styles Infants displayed various patterns of attachment to their caregivers (usually mothers) Secure attachment ○ Happily bonded with others and relied on them comfortably ○ Readily developed relationships characterized by relaxed trust Anxious-ambivalent ○ Attentive care was unpredictable and inconsistent ▪ Warm and interested on some occasions but distracted, anxious and unavailable on others ○ Develop fretful, mixed feelings about others ○ Uncertain of when (or if) a departing caregiver would return ○ These children become nervous, clingy, and needy in their relationships with others Avoidant style ○ Care was provided reluctantly by rejecting or hostile adults ○ Learned that little good came from depending on others and withdrew ○ Often suspicious of others and do not easily form trusting, close relationships Early interpersonal experiences shaped the course of one's subsequent relationships Bartholomew (1990) proposed four general categories of attachment style Secure ○ Remained the same as the secure style identified in children Preoccupied ○ New name for anxious ambivalence ○ Renamed to reflect the fact that, because they nervously depended on others' approval to feel good about themselves, these people were preoccupied with the status of their relationships Fearful ○ Avoided intimacy with other people because of their fears of rejection ○ Want others to like them, they worry about the risk of relying on others ○ Scared of rejection Dismissing ○ Feel that intimacy with others isn't worth the trouble ○ Dismissing people rejected interdependency with others because they felt self-sufficient Close Relationships Page 12  ○ Dismissing people rejected interdependency with others because they felt self-sufficient ○ Didn't care much whether others liked them or not Two broad themes underlie and distinguish these four styles of attachment Social Cognition Perception, interpretations, belief, and memory with which we evaluate and understand ourselves and other people ○ What we think - impacts how we feel - and how we act ○ Sometimes what we think isn't right ▪ And we excuse it ○ There are problems with what we think and it causes problems in a relationship ▪ Interpreting things in a way it didn't mean ▪ Or looping interpretations First Impressions Sometimes, the only impression we ever get ○ If the first impression is bad - you may choose not to see that person again If not, first impressions are long-lasting ○ After students interacted briefly with a classmate for the first time, their impression influences their behaviour up to 10 weeks later It takes ○ 33 milliseconds to form our first judgement of face ○ Judgement remains the same after 1 minutes 5 seconds to form judgement about personality and intelligence Upon encountering a new person, we automatically categorize them Basic social categories ○ Categories for which people have a wealth of information available in memory ▪ Ex: race, age, gender (Older, asian man) ▪ Members of a basic social category are generally treated the same Subtypes ○ Single categories that incorporate many pieces of basic information ▪ Ex: middle-aged black woman, older asian man ▪ Sexy woman, macho man, chapstick lesbian, closeted gay man How does categorization happen? Spontaneously and automatically! Primacy Effect Tendency for first information we receive about someone to carry special weight in shaping overall impressions ○ Includes instant impressions and stereotypes Encoding Bias Imagine the same scenario presenting in two different ways 1. Group membership of actor available before scenario is relayed 2. Group membership of actor available after scenario is relayed Actors tend to be described with more biased language in condition A when compared to condition B Confirmation Bias The tendency to seek information that proves our impressions right rather than information that proves our impressions wrong Close Relationships Page 13  The tendency to seek information that proves our impressions right rather than information that proves our impressions wrong Snyder & Swann (1978) ○ Participants asked to determine if interviewee was ▪ An introvert ▪ An extrovert ○ Given a list of questions - some neutral, some about introverts, some about extroverts ○ Participants more likely to use question that were in line with their expectations This is an implicit action Overconfidence Thinking that we are more accurate and making fewer mistakes than we are Confirmatory bias can lead to lack of contradictory information Overconfidence can increase as relationship gets longer Example ○ How accurately could you discern whether your partner has an STI? Recap: First Impressions are Resistant to Change Because They are in line with long-held stereotypes They affect how we access new and contradicting information We are unaware of how much contradicting information we are overlooking More than Impressions Beliefs are influential at any stage of a relationship Belief ○ An idea or theory about what relationships are like ▪ Or what your relationship is like ▪ Example □ Couples who fight are probably unhappy" OR "my relationship will last for a long time"' Relationship Beliefs "Disagreements are destructive" "Partners cannot change" "Great relationships just happen" "Sex should be perfect every time" 56% of american things soulmates exist If you have these beliefs you're more likely to be unsatisfied Destiny Beliefs "Two people are either well-suited for each other or they are not" ○ Have adverse effects on the quality of relationships These beliefs make you less likely to work out conflicts Growth Beliefs "Good relationships develop gradually as partners work through challenges" Tend to have better satisfaction Almost every relationship will succeed as long as hard work is put in Beliefs can change ○ Start with destiny -> Face challenege -> stick it out -> overcome -> growth beliefs Attritbutions Explanations generated explain why certain things happen Close Relationships Page 14  Explanations generated explain why certain things happen Attributions can be ○ Internal ▪ Reflects personality, ability or effort ○ External ▪ Reflects the situations or circumstances ○ Stable ▪ Lasting over a long period of time ○ Unstable ▪ Transient; coming and going ○ Controllable ▪ Can manage through effort ○ Uncontrollable ▪ Cannot change Actor/Observer Effects Each partner generates different explanations for their own behaviour than they do for the behaviour of their partners Internal ○ Reflects personality, ability or effort ○ Used to explain your partner's behaviour External ○ Reflects the situation or circumstances ○ Used to explain your behaviour Each partner generates different explanations for their own behaviour than they do for the behaviour of their partnners Self-Serving Bias We tend to: ○ Take credit for our successes ○ Avoid blame for our failures We give ourselves credit for our own good intentions ○ We are aware of our own intentions We judge others on actions, not intentions Enhancement Attributions Close Relationships Page 15 Enhancement Attributions Extreme negative behaviours ○ If we are more happy at the moment we are likely to look past the negative That's how people stay in unhealthy relationships But also lines are drawn Distress-Maintaining Attributions More common with anxious attachment styles ○ "This relationship could end at any time" Determination of happy or unhappy is likely dependent of belief ○ It'll take some time to hit "happy or unhappy" ○ There could be external stressors that can cause this ▪ Financial stress Are there certain personality traits that lead to this? ○ Generally, when we look at neuroticism - it can be akin to anxious attachment styles ▪ More likely to have the negative view Enhancement Bias Are we using attributions or are they genuinely just a good person? Perceptions people have of themselves - their friends have of them and their partners self-perception Husband side ○ How well people are looking at the wife ○ Husbands view of wife is increasing as his satisfaction increases Because of relationship enhancing attribution style Friend is an objective observer (how good are they really?) Confirmation Bias The tendency to seek information that proves our impressions right rather than information that proves our impressions wrong Behavioural Confirmation ○ People's behaviour matches their specific beliefs ○ "My partner is kind and considerate" ▪ Actions are loving and accepting Self-fulfilling prophecy ○ False predictions become true ▪ Lead people to behave in accordance with how you treat them Snyder et al. Male university students instructed to talk on the phone with women ○ Half shown picture of "attractive" woman ▪ Rated as more sociable, warm, outgoing, bold ○ Half shown picture of "unattractive" woman They were speaking to women that were also participants but didn't know a false photo was shown ○ Rated the men Men got what they expected Close Relationships Page 16  Men got what they expected ○ When they were more enthusiastic, women were more alluring and warm ○ When less enthusiastic - boring and uninterested responses P - Perceive T - target Self-fulfilling prophecy building social worlds False expectations about people in general, can impact how we interact with everyone we come across Rejection sensitivity ○ Tendency to anxiously perceive snubs from others when none are intended Romero-Canyas et al. (2009) ○ People high in rejection sensitivity behave in ways that make rejection more likely People who are optimistic enjoy more satisfying close relationships ○ Positive expectations promote positive behaviours Beliefs and Values Belief ○ An idea or theory about what relationships are like ▪ Or what your relationship is like ▪ Example □ " Couples who fight are probably unhappy" OR "My relationship will last for a long time" Value ○ An opinion or attitude about what relationships should be like ▪ Or what your relationship should be like ▪ Example □ "couples should agree more often than they disagree" How do you treat your relationship or the concept of a relationship -> belief What do you think you should do in a relationship -> Value Where do values and beliefs come from? Cultures vary in ○ Courtship and marriage traditions ○ Emphasis on the importance of love ○ Attributes they seek in a partner ○ Behaviours they deem acceptable with a relationship ▪ Family, friend, partner Internal working models ○ What we learn to expect from our relational experiences with caregivers, family, friends, and romantic partners Media ○ What relationship dynamics we see in books, movies and TV Ideal Standards Model Close Relationships Page 17