Dealing With Difficult People In The Workplace PDF

MODULE 5.1 DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN THE WORKPLACE  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE “Can’t we all just get along?”  WHAT IS CONFLICT? Conflict is: A behavior or threat by one person or group directed at the te...

MODULE 5.1 DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN THE WORKPLACE  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE “Can’t we all just get along?”  WHAT IS CONFLICT? Conflict is: A behavior or threat by one person or group directed at the territory, rights, interests, or privileges of another party. Normal, natural and inevitable in everyday life.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN THE WORKPLACE People are different, and that sometimes causes conflict. Part of the process of an evolving professional relationship is understanding and accepting personality differences.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN THE WORKPLACE Some nice and normal people can become difficult people under certain circumstances. Common triggers are feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. The root of their problems may be a lack of social, personal, or even technical skills.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN THE WORKPLACE There are others, however, who are simply difficult. They are downright loud, mean, and contrary to everyone they meet in every situation that arises. Some difficult people are aggressive, while others may be passive in their aggression. Openly aggressive people are easy to identify because often they are loud, intimidating, argumentative, and even hostile.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN THE WORKPLACE Others, however, may appear quite pleasant on the surface but be covertly hostile. Passive-aggressive actions include verbal potshots and backhanded compliments. Passive-aggressive people may be pleasant and cooperative on the surface but are never able to make a decision, take a risk, or complete an assignment. From their perspective, the problems are always external. Their behavior can be toxic to you, your success, and your happiness.  CAN CONFLICT BE RESOLVED? Have you ever been in a difficult situation and thought, "there is no solution or we will never get this resolved?"  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES First, recognize that you should not take the behavior of difficult people personally.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Second, realize that you are not going to change or fix them, and it is not your job to do so. People don’t change their behavior unless and until they want to.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Third, accept that the only person you can change is yourself. Focus on changing your pattern of emotional and behavioral responses to the difficult people so that you make healthy and productive choices that benefit you now and in the long term.  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Fourth, manage your emotions when you deal with difficult people. Learn not to take their behavior personally. Avoid becoming defensive because this will only make things worse  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Finally, as with anything in life, recognize that dealing with difficult people is a skill worth learning, and it takes practice. Assess past incidents and learn from them by asking yourself the following questions:  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Assess past incidents and learn from them by asking yourself the following questions: Who was involved? What happened?  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Assess past incidents and learn from them by asking yourself the following questions: How did I feel? How did I respond?  DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES Assess past incidents and learn from them by asking yourself the following questions: How do I wish I had responded? What could I do differently in the future to have a positive outcome to a similar incident?  DEALING WITH AGGRESSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE Be clear with aggressive-difficult people about how you wish to be treated, and do not allow them to treat you otherwise. Responding calmly helps de-escalate situations.  DEALING WITH AGGRESSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE If you are upset by something the aggressive-difficult person says, you can respond with a comment such as, “That wasn’t nice/productive/professional. Please do not speak to me like that.”  DEALING WITH AGGRESSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE If you anticipate unpleasantness with an aggressive person, meet them in a neutral location where you feel safe.  DEALING WITH PASSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE Passive-difficult people often crave approval but feel unqualified and, therefore, are unable to earn the approval and respect they seek. Because of this, they may be noncommittal or feign agreement when asked to perform a task or work with others. However, they will likely be among the first to blame other people when things don’t work out.  DEALING WITH PASSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE The best strategy for dealing with passive-difficult people is to address their misbehavior directly and bring it out into the open. For example, if the person misses an important deadline, offer to meet with them and inquire why. Encourage them to share their perspective by asking open-ended questions  DEALING WITH PASSIVE- DIFFICULT PEOPLE They may feel unable to perform the task assigned and unable to acknowledge this openly. If this turns out to be the case, offer to help them in order to complete the assigned task. Schedule follow-up meetings to monitor their progress and address any new challenges. Regular check-ins can help them feel supported and more accountable.  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, As in any relationship, it is unproductive to simply ignore the difficult person. Following is a breakdown of the most common aggressive- and passive-difficult personalities, along with strategies for dealing with them in a positive manner.  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Aggressive-difficult type 1. Evil Ruler Characteristics Bullies and intimidates Is constantly demanding Can be brutally critical Often lets others do the work, but tries to take all the credit  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 1. Evil Ruler Coping strategies: Let them talk until they run out of steam State your point nonaggressively  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Passive-difficult 2. Timid Mouse Characteristics: Never offers ideas Won’t let you know if they agree or disagree Avoids conflict at all cost Uses emotions and guilt to their advantage  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 2. Timid Mouse Coping strategies: Hold them accountable Specifically describe desired performance and outcomes  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 2. Timid Mouse Coping strategies: Follow up regularly  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Aggressive-difficult type 3. The Professor Characteristics: Long-timer and may know a lot Can be arrogant Has an opinion about everything Gets defensive if wrong Can become loud and hostile  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 3. The Professor Coping Strategies: State your point nonaggressively Help them see other perspectives or alternatives  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 3. The Professor Coping Strategies: Don’t single them out or alienate  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Passive-difficult type 4. Thumbs-up Characteristics: Agrees to any commitment, yet rarely delivers Can’t be trusted to follow through Poor time-management or organizational skills Can eventually create resentment among colleagues  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 4. Thumbs-up Coping Strategies: Establish clear weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals within the framework of the individual’s responsibilities Hold them accountable  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Aggressive-difficult type 5. Negative Nelly Characteristics: Is quick to point out why something won’t work Does not like change Exaggerates others’ mistakes Encourages gossip/rumors that stimulate hard feelings  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 5. Negative Nelly Coping Strategies: Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in to the gossip Don’t let it get personal  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 5. Negative Nelly Coping Strategies: Deal with issues immediately  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, Aggressive-difficult type 6. Grumpy Cat Characteristics: Nothing is ever right Prefer complaining to finding a solution Often unproductive  COMMON AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIVE-DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES, 6. Grumpy Cat Coping Strategies: Really listen to what they’re saying Offer feedback and possible solutions (if you think they’re open to hearing them)