Essay Writing for Third Year Students PDF

Mansoura University Faculty of Arts Department of English ESSAY WRITING For Third Year Students Compiled & Edited by: Dr. Basma Awad Sarhan  Table of Contents Chapter One: Preparing your Es...

Mansoura University Faculty of Arts Department of English ESSAY WRITING For Third Year Students Compiled & Edited by: Dr. Basma Awad Sarhan  Table of Contents Chapter One: Preparing your Essay Chapter Two: Introduction to essay Development o Narration o Description o Illustration by Examples o Process o Cause or Effect o Comparison or Contrast o Definition o Division and Classification o Argumentation and Persuasion Chapter Three: Drafting and Preparing to Revise Chapter Four: Revising your essay Chapter Five: Editing and Proofreading University: Mansoura University Faculty: Faculty of Arts Department: Dept. of English Course specification: Course data Course title: Essay Writing Level: 3 Meeting Days: Tuesday Location: English Department Hall Time: 11 Office Hours: Tuesday – Wednesday Course aims Overall aims of course: 1- Improving Writing Skills: Helping students write clearly, logically, and coherently to communicate their ideas effectively. 2- Developing Critical Thinking: Encouraging students to analyze and evaluate information, form opinions, and make logical arguments. 3- Enhancing Research Abilities: Teaching students how to gather, assess, and use reliable sources to support their points. 4- Promoting Structured Thought: Guiding students to organize their ideas in a clear and logical structure, making their arguments easy to follow. 5- Fostering Creativity: Encouraging original thinking and the exploration of new ideas within academic writing. 6- Preparing for Future Work: Equipping students with skills they will need for more advanced writing tasks, such as dissertations, research papers, or professional reports. Intended Learning Outcomes of Course (ILOs) a-Knowledge and understanding: By the end of this course the student should be able to: a1. Understand Essay Structure: Identify and apply the basic structure of an academic essay, including introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. a2. Develop a Clear Thesis Statement: Formulate a strong, concise thesis statement that guides the essay’s argument or main point. a3. Support Arguments with Evidence: Understand how to gather, evaluate, and incorporate evidence from credible sources to support arguments. a4. Write Coherently and Logically: Organize thoughts logically, ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs for clear communication. a5. Revise and Edit: Apply editing and proofreading techniques to improve clarity, coherence, and grammar. b-Intellectual skills: By the end of this course the student should be able to: b1. Critical Thinking: Analyze, evaluate, and interpret different perspectives, forming well- reasoned conclusions based on evidence. b2. Problem Solving: Identify key issues within a topic and develop structured, logical solutions or arguments to address them. b3. Abstract Thinking: Move beyond surface-level details to engage with broader concepts, theories, or implications related to the essay topic. C-Professional and practical skills: By the end of this course the student should be able to: c1. Effective Communication: Write clearly and professionally, using appropriate language, tone, and structure for academic and professional settings. c2. Time Management: Plan and manage time effectively to meet deadlines, balancing research, writing, editing, and revision stages efficiently. c3. Proofreading and Editing: Apply techniques to edit and proofread work for grammatical accuracy, clarity, and coherence. d-General and transferable skills: By the end of this course the student should be able to: d1. Written Communication: Express ideas clearly, concisely, and persuasively in written form, a skill applicable across various fields and professions. d2. Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving: Apply logical reasoning and analytical skills to approach complex issues, both in academic and real-world contexts. d3. Time Management and Organization: Effectively plan, prioritize tasks, and manage time to meet deadlines, ensuring productive workflow in academic, professional, and personal settings. Topics and contents No. Topic 1 Chapter one: Preparing your Essay 2 Chapter two: Introduction to Essay development 3 Narration 4 Description 5 Illustration by examples 6 Process analysis essay 7 Cause and effect 8 Comparison and contrast 9 Definition 10 Division and classification 11 Argumentative and persuasion 12 Chapter Three: Drafting and preparing to revise 13 Chapter Four: Revising your essay 14 Chapter Five: Editing and Proofreading  Student assessment Assessment schedules/semester: Method Weight of Assessment Final Exam at the end of the semester 80 % Worksheets and Assignments 10 % Research Paper 10%  Useful Links A PowerPoint Presentation on Essay Writing: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1KzUGM_5s8reY1N4o0QxPUnpXGb4 4pzEH/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=112070047818889461172&rtpof=true&sd=true How to write a narrative Essay: How To Write a Narrative Essay in 5 Steps (With Definition) | Indeed.com How to Write a Narrative Essay (youtube.com) How to Write a descriptive essay: Guide to a Perfect Descriptive Essay [Examples & Outline Included] (papertrue.com) How to Write a Descriptive Essay - YouTube How to Write Cause and Effect Essay: How to Write a Cause and Effect Essay (Steps & Examples) - YouTube Cause and Effect Essays | English Composition 1 Corequisite (lumenlearning.com) How to write a comparison Essay: How to Write a Comparison Essay (aka Comparative Essay) ✍️ 2 Kinds of Comparison Essay with examples - YouTube Writing for Success: Compare/Contrast | English Composition 1 (kellogg.edu) How to revise your essay: Revising to Improve Your Essay Writing (youtube.com) How to proofread an Essay: Seven Effective Ways to Proofread Writing | Touro University Chapter One Preparing Your Essay: Developing an Outline and Supporting Your Thesis LEARNING OUTCOMES After reading this chapter and working through its activities, you will be prepared to create a clear and useful outline confirm the connection between your thesis and supporting points develop specific details to expand on each of your essay’s supporting points develop enough details to expand on each of your essay’s supporting points evaluate the quality and credibility of your support choose an effective order for your support You have now completed the first stage of your writing process and begun stage two by crafting your thesis statement. The next step is organizing your essay’s structure in an outline, then developing the points and details that support your argument. Developing An Outline Now that you have your thesis and an idea of your supporting points, you are at exactly the right point to construct an outline. This is the time to focus on your essay’s structure and on the relationships between your ideas. Do not avoid outlining and jump from a small amount of prewriting directly into drafting. It is a recipe for disaster. Essays are relatively formal structures, not casual, 35 36 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING free-flowing strings of paragraphs that you can spin off from pure inspiration. As a final step before drafting, outlining will clear your mind and make writing drafts a more pleasant task. Essay Outline Plan If you have been instructed to create an MLA-style essay outline, follow the formula shown below. This is an essay plan that runs down the page using a number and letter (“alphanumeric”) system, indicating your paragraphs as described here: Outline THESIS: Key values in professional sports reflect society’s acceptance of destruction and harm to human life. Now, write your first supporting point as a trial topic sentence, numbered with the Roman numeral I, as shown here: I. Competitiveness is a key aspect of professional sports. Indent and write your first detail for supporting point I directly below your topic sentence. Number the first detail with a capital A. If you have examples for your details, or “subdetails,” indent again and note them beneath the detail with Arabic numbers. Continue with your details, numbering the second one with a capital B, and so on, for as many details as you have. A. Primary objective of teams is to win, at any cost. 1. Because of money—how much players are paid, keeping coaches and driving ticket prices up. 2. This drives players to put winning above morality. 3. Players are told to try to injure opposing star players. 4. Players are scolded by coaches for not trying to hurt opponents. B. Society is filled with people who want to get ahead, no matter the cost or whom they hurt. 1. Corporations sell in volume at reduced prices, making it impossible for small competitors to survive. 2. Big corporations don’t care if people lose jobs as a result. 3. Name-calling and smear campaigns in elections by so-called respon- sible, moral politicians—in the name of winning. II. Another aspect of professional sports that is reflected in society’s acceptance of destruction and harm to human life is violence.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 37 A. Harming others is a way of life, not just in sports but also in society. ESSAY WRITING 1. Football is based on tackling and harming other players. 2. Society relies on fights—societies and governments are built on making themselves more powerful. 3. Governments spend billions on weapons and armed forces. B. People who need help do not get it. PART 1 1. Governments should spend money on helping people, not on wars. III. The third and possibly most devastating aspect of professional sports reflected in our society is discrimination. A. Professional sports leagues are huge corporations dedicated to profits. 1. Star players sell the most tickets, so hard-working, less glamorous play- ers are discriminated against. 2. Work ethics, for players, are becoming meaningless. B. Society creates stars, just like professional sports, or the movie business. 1. Celebrities are not necessarily hard-working, nor are they ethical. 2. But they end up as role models, rather than hard-working, decent people. Continue this pattern for as many supporting points/body paragraphs as you have. For more information on MLA style, see Chapter 20. You will see Jed’s drafts and revisions in Chapter 4. You will find a blank version of the MLA outline diagram on Connect and you can print copies from there. Save your first copy as “Outline.” In Word, you can save this as a template, rather than a document. Every time you reach the outlining stage of an essay assignment, copy and paste the Outline template into a new document. Save this with an appropriate name. ACTIVITY 1. Think of a thesis topic you believe would interest first-year students. Now, explain why your topic is suitable and could provide a challenging read to two differ- ent audiences. Review the sections on thesis planning and directive questions, if necessary. 2. Generate two sets of three or four supporting points for your thesis, based on your two audiences’ needs and interests. 3. Come up with a few details to expand on each supporting detail for each set of sup- porting points. 4. Now, choose one of your thesis-and-supporting-point notes, and create an MLA essay outline from those notes. 38 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING Develop and Order Your Supporting Points Your Thesis, Supporting Points, and Details After prewriting and revising your thesis by questioning, then creating an outline, you have a good sense of the ideas that support your topic and viewpoint. Now you will begin step two of your essay-writing checklist: supporting your thesis with spe- cific evidence. Support must be sufficient and specific, or audiences will not follow, or perhaps will not even read your essay through to its conclusion. Developing Topic Sentences Your supporting points will form the topic sentences for the body paragraphs in your essay. As you create your outline, turn each supporting-point word or phrase into a topic sentence. Making Sure You Have Enough Supporting Details: Re-generating and Sorting Now is the time to develop and select suitable details to expand on for each support- ing point, and then to decide on an appropriate order for them. You have generated ideas in your prewriting; you may want to do some very focused “re-generating,” or brainstorming, to create enough supporting details for each of your supporting points. You will have some material from your prewriting, but if there is not enough, here is a workable method for making the best use of your prewriting details and generating some new ones. Writers’ Tips for Developing and Structuring Support a. Listing and Re-generating: 1. Turn each of your supporting points into a trial topic sentence. 2. If you have two supporting points, make two columns with one topic sentence at the top of each. (If you have three or four, adjust the number of columns.) 3. Write one trial topic sentence at the top of each column. 4. Enter any details from your prewriting that would fit under any one of your topic sentences. 5. Now expand those lists of supporting details, using any form of prewriting. Try to have roughly the same number of details under each topic sentence. b. Sorting and Selecting: 1. Go over each list, crossing out details that seem weak or unsuitable. 2. Choose your best details and number them, starting with #1 for the best.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 39 Here is a sample of one such list made by Jed, the student author featured in this chapter. He marked his new ideas with n. ESSAY WRITING Trial Topic Sentence: The worst aspect of professional sports that is reflected in society is discrimination. racial discrimination is illegal now PART 1 all kinds of discrimination discrimination against street people? #1 discriminating means choosy as well as prejudiced against something society says it doesn’t practise racial discrimination, but look at the 9/11 stuff that’s still around # 4 discrimination in sports could be about glorifying star players # 4? look at Kobe Bryant or Tiger Woods—the media just forgets that they’re not the best characters # 5—example—hockey stars aren’t necessarily good people—they’re athletes—Sean Avery—some are pretty crude #2—relates to glorifying success at any price [under topic sentence 1] ??? #6 if we’re not discriminating against appearances—discriminating against anyone who isn’t rich or successful—would anyone like Donald Trump? people who are good who are successful? —any examples? Wayne Gretzky? bad idea and social values approve it—only real success is being the best n #4 in pro sports, they hide players who aren’t stars—they don’t play as much—is that discrimination? If it’s all about money, it is. Examples of underused players? n whoever has the most money is the best—that’s what our values tell us n is this why people like gangsters? n #3 does it depress people—can’t live up to celebrities who make millions—Will Smith? n #7 no everyday heroes? n ACTIVITY Here is a trial topic sentence from a student’s essay about being competitive: Having to compete makes some people fearful. Generate a list of details that would illustrate this point. Your details can be examples, short anecdotes, or any specific ideas that would make this point clear to readers. Cross out details that seem weak or unrelated. Number your five best details. Make Your Supporting Details Specific Just as a thesis must be developed with supporting points, those supporting points must be developed with specific details. 40 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING What Is a Supporting Detail? Supporting details are examples, precise descriptions of items, facts or statistics, quo- tations, or even brief anecdotes. Some examples are situations, people, character types, places, events, or objects that illustrate a supporting point; for example, Donald Trump in Jed’s list above. Descriptions are careful word pictures of objects, situations, or beings that make ideas concrete to readers. Facts are items of information about things that exist or have existed—they can be confirmed by other sources; statistics are verifiable information that is repre- sented numerically. Quotations are the exact words of some other person; that person must be credited, and the quotation must appear in double quotation marks. Refer to Chapters 20 and 21 for information on citing quotations in your essays. Anecdotes are short accounts of true incidents used to illustrate or provide evi- dence for a point. What Is the Value of Specific Supporting Details? First of all, specific details are hooks; they attract and excite your reader’s interest. Sec- ond, details explain your points; they show your readers what your ideas mean and offer the evidence needed for them to understand your supporting points’ concepts. Too often, body paragraphs in essays contain vague generalities rather than spe- cific supporting details. Here is what one of the paragraphs in “Professional Sports and Society,” the essay by Jed Gawrys, would have looked like if he had not used spe- cific details to explain his main point. The third and possibly most devastating aspect of professional sports that is reflected in our society is discrimination. Sports leagues are huge organizations but only a few players have a lot of playing time. Star players are the most skilled; their skills make their fortunes. They have only become successful because they are the players the public sees most often. Similarly there are “stars,” people who are very successful in society. These people are not necessarily good or moral; they just seem good because they are so famous. The public often obsesses about these people, whereas they do not value or care about people who work hard jobs for very little money. These people are devalued and discriminated against, based on how unsuccessful, in society’s terms, they are. Eventually this divides society up, creating different class levels and stereotyped, wrong ideas about people. Compare the paragraph above with the revision notes Jed made for his fourth paragraph in Chapter 2. In his revision paragraph, Jed notes where he needs to pro- vide details, then examples to support those details or “sub-details.” Jed illustrates his point about how much celebrities earn for so little time with the specific example of Will Smith, to be found online. Additionally, he gives contrasting details about the wages and hours of a garbage collector. These specific details and examples bring Jed’s ideas to life and make them stick in the reader’s mind. Reading audiences are hooked by specifics; they do not enjoy guessing what writers mean.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 41 ACTIVITY Provide three specific details that logically support each of the following topic-sentence points. Your details can be drawn from your own experience, or they ESSAY WRITING can be invented. State your details briefly in several words rather than in complete sentences. Example: Learning to cook every day for themselves is a challenge for students living on their own. PART 1 1. Shopping takes time and energy. 2. Cooking nutritious meals takes work. 3. It is tempting and expensive to eat out. 1. Cell phones are essential to personal safety. 2. Independence has numerous challenges. 3. There are several ways in which students can earn extra cash. Making Your Support Appropriate and Effective Not all support is created equal. Supporting details vary in how reliable or convincing they are to readers; for example, suppose you write an essay on parole programs in local correctional facilities, and you support your view only with your own opinions and those of your friends. Are your readers likely to be convinced by your support? Will they see your paper as anything other than a subjective, somewhat narrow per- sonal essay? What kinds of support would work here? Supporting evidence must suit the essay-writing situation. Depending on the type of essay and the subject about which you are writing, different forms of supporting evidence will be appropriate. For personal essays or response papers in literature classes, your subjective reactions and experiences are relevant and useful. For other English or literary essays, you can base your support on an assigned piece of liter- ature. In essays where you are asked to comment on aspects of cultural or ethical dilemmas, for either communications or social sciences subjects, you can present your own thoughts, but tied to theories and contexts in those areas. For the sciences, you can support your points with facts and research. Generally, as you begin college or university, early essay assignments will require details that are a mixture of your own thoughts and ideas derived from other sources. Key points in judging your support are logical derivation, fairness, focus and specificity, and credibility. Writers’ Tips on Audiences, Logic, Specifics, and Credibility Because reading audiences are most drawn to the specifics in your support, and are most attentive to details, they will judge your writing on how logically your supporting details follow from the claims made by your topic sentences, how reasonable and defensible your details are, and how precise and credible those details are. 42 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING You meet your audience with the support you choose—an essay stands or falls on the quality of its support. Always ask yourself the following: Are my ideas based on reasoning, or am I just stating an opinion that I cannot back up logically? Do my ideas and details show bias or unfair judgments? Could I defend them on any basis other than emotion, or liking or disliking them? Are any of my details just generalities, unfocused statements that do not add to my argument? How do I know my points and details are true? Why should readers find them credible? When you choose facts or information not based on your own experience, you have several types of information to choose from, some of which are more useful than others: Common Knowledge In some cases, this is information generally known in various communities (e.g., to Canadians, the prime minister’s name). In college or university what is common knowledge depends on the subject; for example, in a psychology essay you would not have to define conditioning. Facts that are common knowledge are sometimes useful, but by their nature, they are less interesting to readers. Moreover, the goal of postsecondary writing is to explore what is not common knowledge. Anecdotal Knowledge (Hearsay) This is information derived neither from personal experience nor docu- mented research; for example, Childcare facilities on this campus are excellent, according to most students. This type of information is useless as support, as it leaves readers wondering how credible it can be. Expert Evidence This term covers published information from reputable sources. It must be rel- evant to your topic to be of any value. Facts and statistics belong to this category, and so must be credited to their source. Research is fundamental to postsecond- ary information in all subjects. In general, where any supporting point or detail is concerned, the crucial ques- tion appears above: “How do I know this is true? Why should my readers believe it?” If you can only answer, “Because I just know,” or “Because it’s how I feel,” you will not be credible to your audience. Good support is based on your own direct experience (if it is suitable), on clear logic, and, if appropriate, on accurate research. You will learn more about creating effective support for each method of essay development in Part 2.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 43 ACTIVITY Read the following brief paragraph. What types of supporting-evidence details do you find here? Each one contains one of the detail types listed below and is numbered. In the ESSAY WRITING blank space beside each number, mark the letter for the type of information it presents. a. Unsupportable personal opinion b. Personal statements based on bias, emotional response c. Common knowledge d. Hearsay/anecdotal evidence PART 1 e. Expert evidence, correctly cited f. Unsupported fact g. Unfocused generalization Success is something most people never attain. (1) __________ It is an illusion that everyone should stop chasing. (2) __________ The price of success is dedication and hard work. (3) __________ In fact, some say that successful folks never notice that they are working; their work is their life. (4) __________ Jim Pattison, for example, the Vancouver-based entrepreneur, is said never to stop working. (5) __________ His pleasure is expanding his business empire, buying another team or TV station. (6) __________ People like that are unfair examples to the average person, though, because not everyone can work that hard. (7) __________ Many do not have the physical energy and the willpower. (8) __________ And most people do not have the luxury of working for their own businesses; they have to work for others. (9) __________ Therefore, it is hard to agree with Thoreau, who said, “We were born to succeed, not to fail.”(10) __________ Making Sure You Have Enough Supporting Details Readers cannot “see what you see” in your mind, so your words do the work of show- ing your thoughts to them. This is where providing enough specifics is essential. When you offer enough details to properly clarify a supporting point, you show your readers what makes that point true for you. If your supporting points are not adequately developed—that is, if there are not enough details to illustrate or prove the point of a paragraph—then you are forcing your reader to figure out why your point is valid. That is not the reader’s job; it is your job as a writer. You could not, for instance, write a paragraph about the impor- tance of a good resumé and provide only one reason, even if you use five sentences to write that reason. Without additional support, your paragraph is underdeveloped and readers will not accept your point or your knowledge of it. Students sometimes try to disguise unsupported paragraphs through repetition and generalities. Do not fall into this “wordiness trap.” Be prepared to do the hard work needed to ensure that each paragraph has solid support. ACTIVITY Take a few minutes to write a paragraph in the third person point of view support- ing this thesis: “Managing time is a student’s biggest problem.” Afterward, form small groups with other students, and read your paragraphs aloud. The paragraphs people enjoy most are sure to be those with plenty of specific details. 44 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING When writing in the “invisible” third person point of view, close attention to specific details is even more essential. There is no distracting I or me to take the audience’s attention away from what you are saying and how well you are saying it. Here, once again, is the essay-writing checklist; notice that you have, even with- out writing a first draft, just about completed the second step. Good writing is the result of planning every stage. Four Steps for Effective Essay Writing 1. Discover your point, and advance a clear thesis 3. Organize and connect your specific evidence. statement. 4. Revise, edit, and proofread your essay. 2. Support your thesis with specific evidence. Organize Your Support Organizing information makes it easier to understand and easier to remember. If you choose a clear, recognizable principle of organization, you will find it easier to judge and revise details. Order your points so that they follow logically from your thesis, and serve your purpose and topic, making it easier for readers to follow your argu- ment. When you choose appropriate transitions or signal words to emphasize your order, you help your reader discover relationships that connect things, and, as you will see in Chapter 4, make them seem more coherent. Time order, emphatic order, and spatial order are three common principles of organization for an essay’s supporting points. 1. Time or chronological order means that points and details are ordered as they occur in time. First this is done; next this; then this; after that, this; and so on. You will often use time order for setting out a sequence of events, explaining how to do something, or narrating an anecdote. Here is a brief outline of an essay in which time order is used. This is an example of the process method of development, explaining how to do something or how some- thing is done. The expanded thesis lists its supporting points in time order and the topic-sentence points follow this order, previewing the essay’s process for readers. Thesis: For success in exercise, you should follow a simple plan consisting of arranging the time, making preparations, and warming up properly. 1. To begin with, set aside a regular hour for exercise. 2. Next, prepare for your exercise session. 3. Finally, do a series of warm-up activities. Which words and phrases in the topic sentences above indicate that the writer will use time order? How do these lead the reader along?  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 45 2. Emphatic order emphasizes the most interesting or important detail by using “least to most” sequences in the arrangement of supporting points. Place the points in ESSAY WRITING least to most important order, or in least powerful to most powerful order—saving the best until last. Variations on this include most familiar to least familiar, simplest to most complex, order of frequency, and order of familiarity. Final positions are the most emphatic because the reader is most likely to remember the last thing he or she reads. Finally, last of all, and most important are typical words or phrases showing PART 1 emphasis. Here is a brief outline of an essay that uses emphatic order: Thesis: Celebrities lead very stressful lives. 1. For one thing, celebrities don’t have the privacy an ordinary person does. 2. As well, celebrities are under constant pressure. 3. Celebrities also live with anxiety because they are only as good as their last success. 4. Most important, celebrities must deal with the stress of being in constant danger. Which words or phrases in the topic sentences above help to show emphatic order? ACTIVITY Writers often combine two orders in an essay because their topic and viewpoint suit the combination. Read the essay “Movie Night in the Bush” in Chapter 10. Which principle of organization or combination of principles has the writer chosen? Why, based on the subject of the essay, might the writer have chosen this order or combina- tion of orders? How does the writer indicate the order(s)? 3. Spatial order means that you create a pattern in space for the reader to follow. You arrange items according to their physical position or relationships. If you describe a room, you could start at the doorway, then go around the four walls, ending back at the door. To emphasize spatial order, use positional transitions or signal words that lead and place the reader, such as to the right, starting at, or under. You will find spatial order essential for descriptions. You may apply this principle to exam- ples as well, leading readers along a route, or you could classify items by physical placement (i.e., southern B.C. is home to temperate rainforest... the northern part is mainly boreal forest). Showing yet another use of spatial order, here is a brief outline of a process essay explaining how to reach Toronto’s High Park on foot: Thesis: The joy of finding a forest at the end of an afternoon city walk is worth the effort. 1. Right from your start at the corner of Bloor and Ossington, you see interesting stores and restaurants. 2. Then as you continue west and south on Dufferin, you find a cool green rest stop: Dufferin Grove Park. 3. On the march west again from Dufferin and Bloor, you will want to walk briskly through the dry, rundown stretch of Bloor west of Lansdowne. 4. Finally, walking downhill, you reach the edge of the forest at Keele and Bloor. Which words or phrases in the topic sentences above help to show spatial order and guide readers through the walk? In Chapter 4, you will learn more about transitions (signal words) used to clarify and guide your reader’s progress through your supporting points, details, and sentences. 46 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING Review Activities Review Activity: Relating the Parts of an Essay to Each Other Each group below contains one topic, one thesis statement, and two supporting sen- tences. In the space provided, label each item as follows: T—topic TH—thesis statement S—supporting sentence Group 1 a. TV forces politicians to focus more on appearance than substance. __________ b. Television is having an increasingly strong impact on the way Canadian elections are conducted. __________ c. The time and expense involved in creating commercials for parties and leaders might be better used in serving the public. __________ d. Television __________ Group 2 a. Canadian colleges are more affordable than most universities. __________ b. There are several advantages to attending a college rather than a university. __________ c. Colleges __________ d. Canadian colleges typically offer more career-oriented programs, internship opportunities, and combined-degree programs than do universities. __________ Group 3 a. Medicine __________ b. Antibiotics have enabled doctors to control many diseases that were once fatal. __________ c. Organ transplants have prolonged the lives of thousands of people. __________ d. Advances in modern medicine have had great success in helping people. __________ Review Activity: Outlining Your ability to distinguish between supporting points and details that fit under those points is important to thesis and outline development. In each of the four lists below, supporting points and details are mixed together. Put the items into logical order by filling in the outline that follows each list.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 47 1. Thesis: Downtown high schools have multiple problem areas. ESSAY WRITING Drugs a. Leaky ceilings (1) Students (2) Teachers unwilling to help after class b. Few after-school programs (1) PART 1 Doors locked at 4:30 p.m. (2) Buildings c. Poorly equipped gyms (1) Much too strict (2) No morning or afternoon community involvement d. Cliques (1) Teachers (2) 2. Thesis: Starting fitness programs early in life is a wise move. Make new friends a. Reduce mental stress (1) Social benefits (2) Lifelong good habit b. Improve self-image (1) Mental benefits (2) Tone muscles c. Meet interesting instructors (1) Physical benefits (2) Review Activity: Adding Specific Details In the following essay, specific details and sub-details are needed to explain the ideas in the supporting paragraphs. Add a sentence or two of clear, convincing details for each supporting point. Introduction Retail Therapy Apparently, humans have managed to create a new disorder. It’s a behavioural problem that can do some real damage. However, unlike other self-damaging behaviours such as excessive tanning or smoking, this one is not likely to put sufferers in the hospital. 48 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING Instead, this disorder sends them to the store. “Oniomania” is the technical term for what they are suffering from, and it has nothing to do with onions. People know it better as compulsive shopping disorder (CSD) or shopaholism. Sufferers shop to “keep up with the Joneses,” to lower anxiety, and to put excitement into their “boring” lives. First Supporting Paragraph One of the first reasons people shop compulsively is to keep up with real or imaginary peers. Perhaps low self-esteem drives this competitive shopping. But, filling the shopping cart does not fill up the holes in someone’s self-esteem. Mostly, compulsive shopping results in an even lower sense of self-worth when the shopper faces bills he or she cannot pay. Second Supporting Paragraph More often than they mention the need to “keep up,” shopaholics say that shopping lowers anxiety. They frequently say a sense of relief, a relaxed “floating feeling” comes over them when they start shopping. But over time, relief gives way to even more anxiety resulting from bills they cannot pay. Third Supporting Paragraph Most often, though, the blanket response to questions about excessive shopping is that it relieves boredom. As well, shoppers eagerly turn to all forms of advertising and promotion, saying these beat boredom by helping them to anticipate new things to shop for. Finally, the sheer simplicity of consuming—go to a store or go online, see something, and buy it—makes shopping an easy diversion to turn to whenever time moves too slowly.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 49 Conclusion ESSAY WRITING Whether CSD is really a new disorder by itself, or just a new response to low self- esteem, anxiety, or boredom, it has become such a widespread problem that organiza- tions like Shopaholics Anonymous have come into being. Shopaholism, in fact, affects more than just those afflicted and their families; growing levels of credit-card debt raise interest rates for everyone. PART 1 Review Activity: Developing Adequate Support The following body paragraphs were taken from student essays. Two of the para- graphs provide sufficient details to support their topic sentences convincingly. Write AD for adequate development beside those paragraphs. One paragraph uses vague, wordy, general, or irrelevant sentences instead of real supporting details. Write U for underdeveloped beside that paragraph. 1. Primetime programming on Canadian television would benefit from some major changes. Some shows should be eliminated completely. In fact, all the boring “made in Canada” shows that no one watches should be cancelled. Commercials, Canadian or American, should be changed so people ______________ could watch them without wanting to channel-surf or turn off the TV. Expand good, popular pro- grams so that viewers stay loyal to Canadian programming and interests. The ideal Canadian pri- metime lineup would be a big improvement over what is now available on the major networks. 2. A friend’s rudeness is much more damaging than a stranger’s. When a friend says sharply, “I don’t have time to talk to you just now,” people feel hurt instead of angry. When a friend shows up late for lunch or a shopping trip, with no good reason, it is easy to feel taken for granted. ______________ Worst, though, is when a friend pretends to be listening, but his or her wandering eyes show a lack of attention. Then, anyone feels betrayed. Friends, after all, are supposed to make up for the thoughtless cruelties of strangers. 3. Sitting in the cockpit of a real plane, one of the school’s Cessnas, after weeks of sitting in model cockpits and flight simulators, is an exciting experience. Students feel momentarily confident because everything is familiar; all the controls are exactly where they were in “rehearsals.” The familiarity soon joins forces with excitement, though, when the instructor begins to take them step by step through the preflight checks. The repetition of the pattern of words “fuel gauge” and ______________ “altimeter” works like a soothing charm—everything will be fine. It is only when the student aviator knows that the instructor’s next words will be “Start it up” that he or she feels a flutter of nervous anticipation. The instructor’s voice is confident and normal. The student’s stomach tightens. And he or she reaches for the starter, ready to fly... or just taxi down the runway. Review Activity: Evaluating Support Identify the types of information represented by the following statements. Explain your choices for each. The Reform Party of Canada was a Western-based group that emerged from a coalition of discontented Western special-interest groups. English classes are always boring. 50 PART 1: ESSAY WRITING After all, people are the same everywhere. Political leaders make a lot of meaningless statements, even Barack Obama, who said, “I take a lot of tips from Canada.” Shopping malls have replaced village squares, according to some people. Review Activity: Organizing Through Time, Spatial, or Emphatic Order Use time order to organize the scrambled lists of supporting ideas below. Write 1 beside the supporting idea that should come first in time, 2 beside the idea that logi- cally follows, and 3 beside the idea that comes last in time. ______________ Thesis: Applying for unemployment benefits is often a depressing, frustrating experience. ______________ People arrive at the office feeling downhearted, and the tangle of paperwork they face only adds to their misery. ______________ Long lineups are only the beginning; processing a claim is not straightforward. ______________ There are weeks to wait for that first cheque, even after a claim goes through. Use emphatic order, or order of importance, to organize the following scrambled lists of supporting ideas. For each thesis, write 1 beside the supporting point that is perhaps less important or interesting than the other two, 2 beside the point that appears more important or interesting, and 3 beside the point that should be most emphasized. ______________ Thesis: Part-time jobs can be valuable life experiences for students. ______________ Working with the public teaches young people how to get along with many kinds of people. ______________ Balancing work and school teaches lessons in time management. ______________ Paying for tuition, books, and possibly rent means that part-time work is a necessity for most students. Use spatial order, organizing by location, to organize the following scrambled lists of supporting ideas. For each thesis, put the statements in a logical sequence as dictated by their locations. ______________ Thesis: An examination of the building will show why it is condemned. ______________ On the second floor, walls and ceilings are broken down. ______________ Starting in the basement, all evidence points to massive leakage. ______________ Throughout the main floor, all electrical work is substandard. ______________ Under the eaves, families of resident raccoons have caused damage.  3: PREPARING YOUR ESSAY: DEVELOPING AN OUTLINE AND SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS 51 Checklist of Learning Outcomes for Chapter 3 ESSAY WRITING Be sure that you have understood and met the learning outcomes for this chapter. Answer the following questions: Why make an outline so late in the Evaluate three types of information not writing process? What are the main values drawn from personal experience. PART 1 of outlines? How do readers respond to insufficient Explain the connection between your thesis details in an essay’s body paragraphs? Why? and supporting points. Describe the three main ordering principles Explain why details for your supporting for essay content. points must be specific. Practice and learn online with Connect. Chapter two Introduction to Essay Development LEARNING OUTCOMES After reading this chapter, you will identify the main patterns of development for essays know why various patterns are used, alone and in combination with other patterns Patterns of Essay Development Narration and description are basic to all writing. Each time you relate a series of events, you are creating a narrative line. If you appear as the narrator, as I, you are present as a voice. If you are an “invisible” narrator, you are a controlling presence connecting events. In both cases, you create a trail for readers to follow. When you try to show readers how something looks, feels, or works, you are “drawing with words,” or using description. Exposition refers to different patterns of presenting the supporting points in the body of the essay. Patterns of expository development are shown in the box following. 117 118 PART 2: PAT TERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT Usually, you will find that the topic of the essay, your purpose, and your audi- ence’s knowledge of your topic will determine which pattern of development, or combination of patterns, is most appropriate. Illustration by Examples: essays that present specific facts, observations, or scenarios to make your points and details concrete for readers. Every pattern of essay development makes use of examples in this way. Process: essays that demonstrate or break down a process to instruct or show readers how something works, or how something happens. Cause or Effect: essays that show or analyze causes and effects to break down and explain either the reasons for (causes) or the consequences (effects) of some situation or issue. Comparison and/or Contrast: essays that compare or contrast show the simi- larities and/or differences between two subjects or two aspects of one topic. Definition: essays that mainly define or explore various meanings of a word or concept. Classification and Division: essays that classify or divide (break a topic down) into categories to help readers grasp different aspects of that subject. Argumentation or persuasion naturally occurs in many well-supported essays as the thesis point is carefully explained and defended. Essays whose main goal is arguing a point use specific tactics either to gain sup- port for a potentially contentious idea or to defend a position about which there might be differences of opinion. Essays whose main goal is persuasion are intended to alter the thinking of the reading audience, or to move readers’ emotions in the direction of the writer’s position. Persuasion is meant to lead to action on the reader’s part—or at least to an openness to change. Persuasion, unlike argumentation, will rarely openly challenge a reader; instead, it will offer a series of appeals, based on knowledge of the audience. Essays that argue or persuade will often make use of several pat- terns of development as part of making their point. Facts About Essay Writing and Methods of Development 1. Essays Generally Use Primary and Secondary Patterns of Development You will practise writing essays that mainly follow a single pattern for supporting your point. However, more often than not, you will also, consciously or unconsciously, use secondary or subordinate methods to explain your points. You will probably use at least an example or two, whether you write about a process or trace the causes of some problem. “Chocolate, the Delicious Drug” (Chapter 10) uses examples as a main method, but the writer also uses the definition pattern to explain technical and  7: INTRODUC TION TO ESSAY DEVELOPMENT 119 chemical terms. Most sample essays in the following chapters show primary and sec- ondary patterns of development, and you will be prompted to identify these so you can understand why their authors might have chosen more than a single pattern to write about their topics. 2. Essays Generally Involve Presenting an Argument No matter which pattern you choose for your subject, your essay will often present some form of argument or persuasion; basically, essay structure that opens with a thesis and provides support argues or takes a position. For example, the writer of “Everyday Common Scents” (Chapter 9) does not merely describe a variety of ordi- nary smells; her descriptive details make an effective argument for the importance of paying attention to everyday pleasures. Your essay’s overriding purpose is to per- suade your reader that the argument/point you advance is valid. PATTERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT Checklist of Learning Outcomes for Chapter 7 PART 2 To ensure that you have understood and met the learning outcomes for this chapter, answer the following questions: How do the expository methods of devel- Why is argumentation or persuasion consis- opment differ from narration and description? tently part of essay writing? Practice and learn online with Connect.  Narration LEARNING OUTCOMES After reading this chapter and working through its writing assignments, you will be ready to write a narrative essay that narrates an experience about a specific conflict, change, or learning experience organizes and sequences your supporting material in time order to offer an accurate and coherent narrative shows careful selection of details essential to your point is revised to recreate events as clearly as possible and “show” readers your point concludes by returning to its main point in an inter- esting manner Narrating or telling stories is a basic human activity; we experience things every day and we want to tell others what happened. Like the great myths and legends, narra- tive stories teach humanity’s lessons, but narratives also form the basis for career and academic writing forms that serve a variety of purposes. As a narrative writer, you relate and shape your experience or observations for a purpose. Your purpose and topic in turn will determine how personal or subjec- tive your record of your experience will be. If your connection to and presence in your story are vital to its success, you may write a first person narrative. But if your goal is to show readers a careful record of events, or the significance of something you have learned, then you will use narrative to recreate what you observed or experienced and its meaning; you will write a third person observational narrative, used in many case studies and reports. In this chapter, you will be asked to write a narrative essay that illustrates some point. To prepare for this task, first read the student essays that follow, and then work through the questions accompanying the essays. Both essays use narrative as their main method of developing their points. 120  8: NARR ATION 121 Using the Narrative Method Now Acquiring skill in narrative writing will bring you immediate as well as long-term benefits. During college or university, you could be assigned a History or Humanities essay on Canada’s October Crisis, and realize that supplying anecdotes gained from your research will enrich your support for your thesis. You may also, in programs such as Social Services, Law Enforcement, or Criminal Justice, be required to write both first person and third person narrative essays and reports on situations and events. As well, textbooks in subject areas such as Psychology, Sociology, and Communications use narratives to engage and involve students in key aspects of their content. Using the Narrative Method in Your Career Nearly every profession’s writing tasks use narration to record and re-create events and experiences. Police officers, medical practitioners, childcare workers, insurance investigators, workplace managers, market- PATTERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT ing executives, and HR specialists, among others, all write narrative reports constantly. Narratives are also essential elements of advertising copy, whether they are testimonials about a product or storylines for com- mercials. And, of course, both script writing and journalism rely on narrative techniques to tell their stories. PART 2 Student Essays to Consider Accessing a Challenge 1 During my third semester in Social Services, I was an intern at a provincial gov- ernment agency during their Accessibility Awareness campaign. The purpose of the campaign was to make service workers more sensitive to the problems faced by peo- ple with various physical challenges. Along with two other students from Fanshawe, I was asked to “adopt a challenge” for a day, doing all my work without one physical ability. Some of the workers, like me, chose to use wheelchairs; others wore sound- blocking earplugs, hobbled around on crutches, or wore eye masks. 2 Just sitting in the wheelchair was instructive. I had never considered before how awkward it would be to use one. As soon as I sat down, my weight made the chair begin to roll. Its wheels were not locked, and I fumbled clumsily to correct that. Another awkward moment occurred when I realized I had no place to put my feet. I fumbled some more to turn the metal footrest into place. I felt psychologically awkward, as well, as I took my first uneasy look at what was to be my only source of mobility for sev- eral hours. I realized that for many people, “adopting a wheelchair” is not a temporary experiment. That was a sobering thought as I sank back into my seat. 3 Once I sat down, I had to learn how to cope with the wheelchair. I shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position. I thought it might be restful, even kind of nice, to be pushed around for a while. I glanced around to see who would be pushing me and then realized I would have to navigate the contraption by myself! My palms red- dened, and my wrist and forearm muscles started to ache as I tugged at the heavy metal wheels. I realized, as I veered this way and that, that steering and turning were not going to be easy tasks. Trying to make a right-angle turn between aisles of office partitions, I steered straight into a divider and knocked it over. I felt as though every- one was staring at me and commenting on my clumsiness. 4 When I actually had to settle down to work, other problems cropped up, one after another. If someone working in another cubicle called out a question to me, I could 122 PART 2: PAT TERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT not just stand up to see him or her. No matter how I strained to raise myself with my arms, I could not see over the partition. I had to figure out how to turn my wheels in the confined space of my cubicle and then wheel down the aisle between workstations to find whoever asked me the question. Also, those aisles were so narrow that there was no “passing lane” where people could get by me. For instance, a visiting MPP had to squeeze embarrassingly close to me just to move past my wheelchair. This made me feel like a nuisance as well as an impostor and added to my sense of powerlessness. Thanks to a provincial initiative, however, this whole building will soon have full wheel- chair accessibility with ramps and arm-level elevator buttons. 5 My wheelchair experiment was soon over. It’s true that it made an impression on me. I learned more from my internship than I ever expected to, and I wouldn’t dream of parking my car in a wheelchair space. At the same time, I also realize how little I know about working with physically challenged people. A few hours of a “voluntary challenge” gave me only a hint of the challenges, both physical and emotional, that people with any physical limitation must overcome. Wireless Days 1 Dark already at four o’clock, it is a cold, sleety December afternoon in St John’s, Newfoundland. Jimmy McKenny, Bill Mahan, Gilles LeFevre, and Ivor Jamieson are huddled, gritting their teeth and shivering for the fourth day in a row. The case of kites, wire, and flattened weather balloons keeps blowing open unless one of them sits on it. From several yards away, at the edge of the cliff by the old hospital, an Italian scientist is shouting for another kite. Not one of these men knows it yet, but the rub- ber and canvas kite Jimmy is dragging out of the case is going to make history. It will carry aloft the aerial that receives three pips of sound, the first wireless radio signal, from the other side of the Atlantic. Anyone who uses a cell phone or listens to the radio owes something to Jimmy and those men; they are responsible for the birth of wireless communication in Canada. 2 “In December 1901 Marconi assembled his receiver at Signal Hill, St. John’s, nearly the closest point to Europe in North America” (“Marconi,” Newfoundland and Labrador Heritage). At twenty-seven, after building a transmitter in Cornwall, England, Gug- lielmo Marconi came to the windy hilltop where Jimmy, Bill, Gilles, and Ivor are crouched. Bill Mahan’s job is to keep notes, and as Jimmy wrestles with the kite, Bill puts his hand to his brow, trying to wipe his hair out of his eyes. The sleet and the spray from the waves below dampen the notebook pages and his bare fingers are so stiff that he can barely write. Looking up, he sees Signor Marconi shouting again in his direction, and gesturing at him to come. He scrambles over to grab the kite, but Marconi, his voice nearly swept away in the wind, tells Bill to come now and to bring his notes. Marconi grips Bill’s arm, shouting, “We heard it! The signal!” He pushes one earpiece from his headset receiver into Bill’s hand, and rips the notebook from Bill. What he records is the result of more than a decade of research. Marconi hears three pips, sent from 1700 miles away, the “sky waves” bouncing back to earth after being sent from Cornwall in the southwest of England. He has proved that wireless telegra- phy works. 3 Shortly after six o’ clock in the evening near the lakeshore in west Toronto, a cou- ple of friends are setting off to sample some wireless signals. “Hurray up Aileen! We’re going to miss the King car,” shouts Evelyn Guinane, standing at the corner of Triller Avenue. Their destination is a Victoria Street auditorium for a “Radiophonic Demon- stration,” the first in a series of 1922 media events. When the two step down from the streetcar at Church Street, huge drops of rain sheet down on them. It is March 22 nd and  8: NARR ATION 123 at least eight hundred curious wet folks are spilling over the sidewalk and into Victoria Street. They join the crowd, and as soon as the auditorium’s double doors open, Evelyn and Aileen are carried together in the forward rush. Inside, many find seats, but more line up against the walls. Finally, the wine-red curtains draw back, exposing a single oak box at centre stage. A spotlight finds the master of ceremonies, who announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen.” The seated audience rises. For two moments, the only sound is a distant orchestra playing the opening bars of the national anthem. Then chaos erupts. Five men from the front row rush the stage, shouting, “Where’s the band?” A woman’s voice shrieks, “There’s something wrong here—this is witchcraft!” The orchestra playing “God Save the Queen” is neither a hoax nor sorcery; it is in a stu- dio five kilometres away on Bloor Street. 4 A year or so after those superstitious, suspicious Torontonians experienced Marco- ni’s discovery, the main Salle of Bonaventure Station swarms with Easter-time travellers. Red-capped porters push hand-trucks piled with luggage through the crowds, and Julie PATTERNS OF ESSAY Lemelin looks about anxiously. “Where is Lucille?” she worries. The sisters are setting out DEVELOPMENT on a four-day cross-Canada rail trip on the Canadian National Railway, and they have especially chosen the new CNR line because of its “listening cars” (Vipond 124). Julie and Lucille will sit along the walls of parlour cars with other travellers, wearing black metal headsets plugged into cables running above their heads. As they leave Montreal, they hear the smooth tones of the announcer, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, mes- dames et messieurs…” For twenty minutes they listen to a program of light opera and PART 2 waltzes. Then the signal fades. A railway official enters the car to announce that they will next enjoy a travelogue about the Thousand Islands when the train enters the Kingston broadcast and telegraph tower’s area. Near Toronto, they will hear a news broadcast from NBC in New York, news that anyone lucky enough to have a radio receiver in the area will also hear. And so it will go, all the way to Vancouver, music and information available whenever the trains are close enough to radio signals. The sisters are listening to the first national radio network in North America, CNR Radio, which will eventually become the CBC. 5 Now it is a hot, humid late morning in July on Parliament Hill in Ottawa. The Union Jack waves feebly atop raw, spindly pinewood towers planted as bases for speakers in the grass of the park. Luke and Eva Golan, with their children Basil and Antony, have staked their blanketed spot in the midst of sweaty, excited families and couples, forty thousand people waiting to celebrate Canada’s Diamond Jubilee in 1927. Atop the Peace Tower, a radio technician is perched with his microphones, waiting to catch the peal of the noon bells as Canada turns fifty. Everyone wants to hear those bells; they have been silent for eleven years, since Parliament burned down (“On this Day–July 1, 1927”). The hillside crowd cheers as they hear them. On the CNR listening car, as it winds round the mountain track into Banff, travellers smile at each other and applaud as they hear the pealing. In Rio de Janeiro, and in London, millions hear Ottawa’s bells, and during the hours of wireless broadcast that follow, those millions will be con- nected to Canada for the first time. 6 Hardik rides the bus to the University of Manitoba campus with his Bluetooth in his ear, listening to a podcast of a physics lecture. He is only one of millions of Canadians who are still receiving signals courtesy of Signor Marconi, signals he was the first to catch on that wind-whipped late December afternoon. The early days of wireless broadcasting in Canada are full of events that brought people together to hear from others many kilometres away. The “sky waves” still bounce across a vast nation, descending to land in ever-smaller receivers, but always linking us with tight, invisible bonds. 124 PART 2: PAT TERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT A list of sources used by Warren, the author of “Wireless Days,” is available on Connect. There you will see his sources noted as an MLA Works Cited list. Questions About Unity 1. Which essay lacks an opening thesis statement? How could its author have stated his or her point in a thesis? 2. Which sentence in paragraph 4 of “Accessing a Challenge” should be omitted in the interests of paragraph unity? 3. Which sentence in paragraph 2 of “Wireless Days” should be omitted in the inter- ests of paragraph unity? About Support 4. Blending narration and description: label as sight, touch, hearing, or smell all the sensory details in the following sentences taken from the essays. a. My palms reddened and my wrist and forearm muscles started to ache as I tugged at the heavy metal wheels. b. No matter how I strained to raise myself with my arms, I could not see over the partition. c. The sleet and the spray from the waves below dampen the notebook pages and his bare fingers are so stiff that he can barely write. 5. Explain how the writer of “Wireless Days” sets up the chronology or time frame for his essay, paragraph by paragraph. About Coherence 6. The first stage of the writer’s experience in “Accessing a Challenge” might be called sitting down in the wheelchair. What are the other two stages of the experience? 7. List three time transitions used in the third paragraph of “Wireless Days.” About Introductions and Conclusions 8. What methods of introduction are used in the first paragraph of “Wireless Days”? Circle the appropriate letters. a. Broad, general statement narrowing to a thesis b. Idea that is the opposite of the one to be developed c. An incident About the Method of Development 9.Which aspects of “Accessing a Challenge” and “Wireless Days” suggest to readers that these are not fictional stories? What are other differences between the two narrative essays and short stories? 10. Neither essay uses only narration. Referring to the opening of Chapter 7, consult with your instructor and explain which other patterns of development you find in these essays.  8: NARR ATION 125 Combining Narrative with Other Methods of Development Using Narrative as Your Primary Method Because you describe people, places, objects, and feelings as you narrate, you nearly always use narration and description together. Narration works with other methods of development. You expand on and explain events in a narrative with examples; you could use process analysis to set out the steps by which you reached some moment of change, and you will often compare or contrast one person or situation with another to clarify your point in a narrative. Using Narrative as a Secondary or Supporting Method Narration is often part of essays using other patterns of development. Short narratives can serve as supporting details in the form of examples: a brief anecdote will often illuminate one side of a comparison or contrast, and stories about people and events will help to persuade readers of the truth of your thesis. PATTERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT Developing a Narrative Essay Writing a Thesis Statement for a Narrative Essay PART 2 Narrative essays may be about conflict, change, or discovery. As non-fiction narra- tives, these essays lead readers to new states of awareness or alter their views of them- selves or their lives in some way. Your narrative essay’s thesis can be some general truth that the conflict or discovery reveals. Your narrative essay illustrates how you have come to understand your thesis. Whether your thesis explains a change or a human truth, it is the point or “lesson” of the essay. A thesis for a narrative essay focused on change might be similar to the following: That turn in the road was a genuine turning point for Yonggi. A thesis based on an easily understood human truth could be something like this: The value of family is, and should be, an unforgettable lesson. When you work on a thesis statement for a narrative essay, ask yourself, “What spe- cific moment or event changed me?” or “What truth did I learn from learning this?”— whether your “this” is something you experienced directly or from research. That moment, event, or learning experience will be your topic and what you learned as a result of that pivotal experience will be the viewpoint that shapes your thesis statement. Making a Point: Are You Writing a Narrative Essay or a Story? While some narrative essays have the feel of a story, their structure is that of an essay. When you write a fictional story, you may not reveal a clear point at all; your story’s point may be woven throughout it, or it may be in your characters’ actions or feelings. But when you write a narrative essay, your job is to make your point in your thesis, then to select events, scenes, and emotions that will maintain your readers’ interest as they see your meaning shown in your supporting details. How does Dorota, the author of “Accessing a Challenge,” keep your attention on her point throughout the essay? 126 PART 2: PAT TERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT Why do you believe she chose the events she did to support her point? If Dorota had written about her experience as a fictional short story, how would it differ from her essay? Ultimately, your narrative essay will persuade your readers of the truth of your thesis “lesson,” and help them to feel that they have learned something of value. Writers’ Tips for Narrative Essays Narrative Essays Have Some Special Characteristics 1. As noted in the chapter introduction and in the Point of View section to follow, narrative essays are told from one of two points of view, first person (depending on the writer’s level of connection to the experience) or third person. Either viewpoint must be consistently maintained. 2. Narrative essays follow chronological or time-sequence order only. They recount a narrative line only in the order in which it occurred, and reinforce this order with careful use of time transitions and transi- tional phrases. 3. Narrative essays always have a clear thesis, and present events, scenes, or records of the writer’s reac- tions to support that thesis. Narrative essays may show extended thesis statements less frequently than other essay-development patterns, though. 4. Narrative essays, to be successful, “show” their audiences what the writer feels or means with the use of careful descriptions and word choices. Such essays depend for their quality on the vividness with which the writer can “bring to life” situations and emotions, with the use of strong verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. 5. Narrative essays are not short stories: they are records of experience or of something learned. They do not present fictional characters or made-up events; they present their point or thesis in the first paragraph. 6. Narrative essays, like fiction, though, do often show a conflict or turning point as pivotal to a lesson learned by the writer, and display their support, as noted in point 2, in the sequence in which events happened. Like stories, narrative essays may include dialogue to bring events and situations to life for audiences. Narrative essays must keep reading audiences with them at every step. One way of maintaining clear connections with your audience is to make appropriate use of transitions to take readers along with you through the time sequence in your essay. For a narrative, time transitions within paragraphs (at sen- tence level) and transitional phrases to connect paragraphs are key. Time transitions include first, second, then, next, after, while, during, and as soon as. For more complete coverage of transitional material, refer back to Chapter 4. Re-read both student essays in this chapter and carefully note their use of transitions at all levels.  8: NARR ATION 127 What Is Your Purpose and Who is Your Audience? The main purpose of your narrative essay is to engage readers with real-life events that have the feel of a story. Colourful details and interesting events that build up to a point of some kind make narrative essays enjoyable for readers and writers alike. You have probably listened to someone tell a rambling story that didn’t seem to go anywhere. You might have wondered impatiently, “Where is this story going?” or “Is there a point here?” Keep these reactions in mind as you think about your own narrative essay. To satisfy your audience, your story must have a clear overall purpose and point—the main characteristics of an essay. Your narrative essay should deal with an event or a topic that will appeal to your audience. A group of young children, for example, would probably be bored by a PATTERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT narrative essay about your first job interview. They might, however, be very inter- ested if you wrote about the time you were chased by three tiny terriers or stood up to a class bully. Three Audiences, Three Versions of a Narrative Your audience will determine how you write your narrative as well. PART 2 1. If you write to an audience who knows you about working two part-time jobs: Thesis: Working two part-time jobs on top of being a full-time student is just too exhausting. I never get home before 2:00 a.m., six nights a week. On the bus home, I’m lucky if I don’t fall asleep on the person next to me. I have no social life. For me, Satur- day and Sunday nights are dates with the computer and my assignments. 2. If you write a narrative for your instructor about this topic: Thesis: Because I work two part-time jobs to pay for my education, I am under a great deal of physical and mental strain. Because there are only two evenings a week when I am not at work until one in the morning, I have to try to complete all my assignments then. Many times, my head hits the desk before I finish even the first piece of work on my list. If I fall asleep in your class, it is not because I am not interested. In fact, I enjoy English. 3. If you must submit a report as part of a bursary or loan application: Thesis: Receiving the _____ grant would eliminate the necessity of working twenty-five hours a week on top of studying full time. Living alone with no family in this province means that there are no sources of financial support. An older uncle lives in Vancouver, but he is on a pension, so asking him for any assistance is impossible. Living in downtown Montreal has been an expensive experience. As a result of work hours required, there is insuf- ficient time for studying and completing assignments. 128 PART 2: PAT TERNS OF ESSAY DEVELOPMENT Questions: 1. Which of the samples above uses third person point of view? Why, relative to its purpose and audience? 2. How do the first two samples differ, in terms of the writer’s word choices and choices of details? Why, relative to their audiences and purposes? As you plan your narrative essay, think about how many background details you will need to make your story “come alive” for your audience. If you are sure that your audience knows or shares aspects of the experience you will recount, then you may choose not to include too much background information. If, like Warren Cho, a