Recovery from Misfortune, Weariness, Loss, and Disability PDF

# Chapter 10 ## Recovery from Misfortune, Weariness, Loss, and Disability ### Introduction - All human beings experience misfortune in their lives. - The key is to acknowledge misfortune without being overwhelmed and paralyzed. - Individuals can become weary and mistake their way, often losing the...

# Chapter 10 ## Recovery from Misfortune, Weariness, Loss, and Disability ### Introduction - All human beings experience misfortune in their lives. - The key is to acknowledge misfortune without being overwhelmed and paralyzed. - Individuals can become weary and mistake their way, often losing the glow of life. - Individuals may also face loss, which grieves them greatly, yet can be overcome after the trauma has lifted. - All human beings have areas of limitation and weakness. - Patients’ weaknesses may hamper their abilities to function in other ways as well. **Examples** - A nearsighted man who needs thick glasses may find himself limited by extreme shyness. - Cyrano de Bergerac felt incapable of being loved by the woman of his heart who was in love with the empty-headed but handsome Christian. - People may compensate for a handicap by exaggerating other facets of their personalities. ### Biblical Concept of Repentance - Provides a means by which humans are able to treat personal and emotional problems. - Repentance is so natural to the Bible that it is surprising to learn that Greek thought seems not to have developed a mature concept of repentance. - The only way for a Greek to correct a personal flaw or sin, in many cases, was by means as extreme as suicide. - The Jewish idea of repentance was innovative. - It held that Reuben was the first to do full-scale repentance. - All people make mistakes and commit wrongs or sins, which can harm every aspect of their relationship with God, with one's fellow, or with oneself. - God recognizes that man is imperfect. - Repentance means refitting himself for the service of his Creator after having left it. - Repentance requires a feeling of guilt over one's imperfections and a renewed recognition of God as the one who rewards and punishes. - God will help them along, but much of the initiative is with people. - The success of repentance is not merely in being forgiven and saved by God. - Repentance is an end in itself, not a means toward some other end. - It changes the equation of the relationship between God and people. - Repentance is not merely induces a magical potion or catharsis for their faults. - Repentance concentrates on human growth as its aim more than on merely correcting a man's behavioral ledger. - Repentance assesses and straightens out one's relationship with God. - Repentance has a cosmic significance in bringing man close to God. - Judaism contains no notion of original sin. - God loves it when his creatures seek to approach him. ### Dealing with Disaster: Jeremiah - The Jewish people have suffered repeated major cataclysms. - They have always revived and rebuilt, compiling an amazing record of accomplishment. - This story has profound implications for the treatment of an individual who is suffering. - It has become too easy to ignore or rebuke a person showing any signs of sadness. - People blame the sufferer for causing the suffering rather than acknowledging the reality of it and the need for the person to have time to heal. - Suffering, however, does not simply mean feeling sorry for oneself and giving into despair, but instead represents an attempt to place one's pain in a larger context. - The suffering need not last forever. - It is essential to maintain one's integrity and sense of a higher purpose through periods of misfortune. - This is easier said than done and can be facilitated in therapy by recognizing the suffering while stressing the larger meaning and hope in life. ### Feeling Rejected: The Curser - Feelings of rejection and alienation trouble most people, to some degree, through their lives. - Such feelings of rejection and lack of confidence can be crippling to a person's endeavors in every area. - The Bible tells the story of such a man in a few verses. - His name is never stated, and the later rabbinic literature refers to him only by his act-the mekallel (the curser or blasphemer). - The blasphemer was born in Egypt to an Israelite woman, who was seduced or raped by an Egyptian overseer. - He suffered from a sense of rejection, however mistaken, by the tribe, by the nation, and even from God. - The blasphemer felt rejected or alienated is understandable, given the circumstances of his birth and also his inability to gain full acceptance. - He could not grasp that he might have a duty to accept certain personal hardships or limitations, nor did he seem interested in seeking possible solutions other than his quarreling and complaining, which were altogether misguided. - He could still have lived a full and productive life in every aspect as a scholar, merchant, or craftsman, but he chose not to. - He quarreled and ridiculed until finally "the son of the Israelite woman blasphemed the Divine Name and cursed." - Moses did not act hastily but instead consulted God. - God's answer was clear, and the blasphemer was put to death. ### Feeling Rejected: The Curser - This story provides a motif for a therapist dealing with a patient from a troubled background. - The therapeutic stance must be to show understanding of the hurt and rejection the patient has undergone without affirming the destructive tendencies, which can lead to even worse consequences. - The therapist must offer the patient venues to express the hurt, but also to draw a positive outcome from it rather than to wallow in the pain and to act destructively to others and ultimately to himself or herself. ### Aging: Ecclesiastes - "After I have withered, shall I become supple?" wondered the matriarch Sarah after hearing God's assurance that despite her ninety years of age she would bear her first child. - Aging can bring its pains and fears. - "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days come and the years arrive of which you will say, “I have no joy in them." Before the sun and the light darken and the moon and the stars, and the clouds return after the rain." - The key to a successful adjustment to each stage of life, including old age, is this "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth.” - The human body typically weakens as it ages. - An old person can do wonderful things. - Youth is wonderful only if it is well spent and only if it helps to prepare one for what comes afterward. - One should not lament the passing of youth as the romantic poets do. - Instead, "remove vexation from your heart and draw evil off from your flesh, for youth and dark hair are vain." - A life devoted to good deeds and the development of faith and wisdom will help a person face the challenges of every stage of life, including old age. - Scripture commands respect for the aged. - What is important is the wisdom that a lifetime of experience and study can bring to the aged. - Even a younger person who has gathered great wisdom must be respected. - Westerners fear the coming of old age with its weakening of powers and the growing fear of being a useless burden. - Old age also seems to be closing in on the end of life. How far all this seems to him from the warm blood and the sweet promise of youth. - The stories of Oedipus and Tithonus present old age as a time of deterioration and decline. ### The Experience of Almost-Loss: Sarah – Receiving very important and unexpected news, whether good or bad, can rouse powerful emotions so quickly and uncontrollably that a person's equilibrium, physical as well as emotional, can be deeply upset and serious trauma can result. – The Scripture juxtaposes the binding of Isaac with the death of Isaac's mother, the matriarch Sarah. – The shock of the unexpected news of the almost-death of her son was the direct and immediate cause of Sarah's death. – God had commanded Abraham to bring Isaac, his son, as a burnt offering. – Abraham’s trust in God was sufficient for him to carry out God’s order, and he was at the point of actually slaughtering Isaac when God told him to hold back his hand. – This was only a test to strengthen Abraham’s devotion and faith. – What was Sarah’s role in this poignant drama? – The initial command to sacrifice Isaac had come to Abraham alone, and Sarah knew nothing about it. – She could have had little inkling of the powerful emotions working through Abraham’s mind. – Sarah learned that her son had been placed on the sacrificial altar and then taken off alive at God’s command. – The Midrash offers conflicting pictures of the sequence of events. ### Dealing with Disability: Moses and Aaron – Few skills were more prized among the ancient Greeks and Romans than oratory. – Moses, the great Hebrew lawgiver, had a speech defect. – Moses expressed his concerns about his handicap during his first meeting with God, at the burning bush. – This meeting had the purpose of sending Moses on his mission of leading the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage and of teaching them the law during their journeys in the wilderness. – God knew that Moses needed to deal with his own handicap if he was to be an effective leader, and God tried to support and direct Moses toward helping himself. – In the Hebrew Bible, oratory has no place. – Moses was not anxious to accept the mission on which God was sending him, and he offered five separate protests. ### Knowing That Life Has Meaning: The Fugitive – People can feel so unimportant that they think their moral and spiritual acts and thoughts have no real meaning, that it is useless to be diligent and dedicated in their personal conduct. – The Bible's account of "the cities of refuge" has among other aims that of presenting graphically to both the individual and society the importance of a human life. – Both individuals and societies regularly face the need to make certain moral decisions, and these decisions should be handled with full attention and diligence. – The laws of the city of refuge dictate what happens when a man slew another in an act of carelessness. – The killer must atone for his crime and prepare himself, justify himself to be restored fully into a society that aims at very high spiritual and moral standards and which is very aware of God's presence. – A moral society must rest on the recognition of the values of fellow beings created in the image of God. – In a society of force, depravity, greed, and even negligence, love and sanctity suffer. – The guiding principle of the state must be acceptance of the value of human beings and of what they can strive to do. – The most precious commodity of a state is its people. – The killer must be banished to a city of refuge. – God designated the six cities of refuge even before the Israelites crossed the Jordan and began their conquest of Canaan. – Moses was once a fugitive (Exodus 2:15f) who sought and found a refuge. # Chapter 11 ## Suicide Prevention ### Introduction - The ultimate psychological problem is suicide, and the corresponding ultimate challenge for a therapist is suicide prevention. - Freedom is fundamental in the literature and thought of both the ancient Greeks and Hebrews, but the way in which the two cultures understand and deal with freedom is very different. ### Human Development and Suicide - Human development presents a series of life events that must be coped with wisely in order to grow. - Adolescents must begin to separate from their parents and make friends. - Young adults must successfully find mates. - Middle adults must make successful career decisions. - Older adults must plan wisely for retirement. - Although the presenting problems may be different from one life stage to another, the underlying issues may be the same. - Suicidal behavior at each life stage involves unsuccessful resolution of individuation-attachment conflicts. ### Recovering from Weariness: Elijah - Sometimes people become so bound up in their work that they lose their sense of direction and their ability to make decisions and to carry them out. - This can happen even to the ablest of people serving the noblest aims. - Elijah was one of the most fiery and energetic figures of the Hebrew Bible. - He fell into a deep weariness, and God needed to intervene and help him modify his goals so as to restore Elijah's strength and set him back on his life's work. - Under the rule of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel, the people of Israel had turned away from their own God and had lapsed into the worship of idols. - God sent a drought on the land, but Ahab and Jezebel were not moved to repent of their ways. - Elijah came forward to propose a contest. ### Feeling Overwhelmed: Moses - Even the most dedicated people can think that their work has been useless and that the challenges facing them are unmanageable and overwhelming. - This once happened to Moses, a great wise man and prophet and a dedicated and selfless leader. - Moses felt overwhelmed by the people's demands and turned to God to ask for help. - Moses was not anxious to accept the mission on which God was sending him, and he offered five separate protests. ### Friends in Need: Job - People react to unhappy events in various ways. - Job lost his wealth, his children, and was smitten with a terrible illness. - He had done nothing evil to warrant these miseries. - Job's wife urged him to "curse God and die". - Job rejected his wife's view and began his long and determined course of questioning, which finally brought him to a new closeness to God and to a higher understanding of the purposes of human life. - He refused to give in either to his wife's unthinking rejection of God’s gift of life or to his friend's suggestions that Job must have sinned and was therefore being punished by God. - Job lived through his many sufferings, and found new meaning and joys in his life. ### Abandonment: David - Some human dilemmas are existential. - King David was a man of intense poetic sensitivity and deep love, who on occasion wrestled with a powerful sense of existential abandonment, as expressed in Psalm 22. - David turns to his trust in God, who has been with him from before birth. ### Protected Regression: Jonah Versus Narcissus - Perhaps the quintessential suicide prevention story in the Hebrew Bible is the story of Jonah. - We have used this story with great success in suicide prevention with both religious and secular patients. - It can be vividly contrasted with the Greek story of Narcissus. - The biblical story of Jonah is dramatically different, creating a structure whereby Jonah is able to integrate individuation and attachment. - God sends a storm, Jonah tells the sailors to throw him overboard. - God intervenes, swallowing Jonah in the protective stomach of a great fish until he overcomes his confusion. - God again asks Jonah to go to Nineveh. - God intervenes, sheltering Jonah with a gourd from the burning sun. ### Clinical Implications - The suicide preventive element in the story of Jonah is God’s covenantal intervention providing a protective shield to allow Jonah to regress and harmoniously reconcile his individuation-attachment dilemma. - The story of Jonah is a good illustration of the importance of social support in mental health.